Healing Beyond Medicine: Dr. Zanetta Lamar on Cancer Care, Compassion, and Purpose

On this episode of the Stories to Create Podcast, Cornell Bunting sits down with Dr. Zanetta Lamar, a distinguished, board-certified specialist in oncology and hematology who is making a powerful impact in the lives of patients in Naples.

With over 15 years of experience in medicine, Dr. Lamar began her journey at Meharry Medical College, followed by advanced training at Wake Forest Baptist Health, where she completed both her residency and fellowship in hematology-oncology. A proud Louisiana native, her passion for medicine was evident from an early age—often found as a child immersed in medical encyclopedias, already envisioning her future as a physician.

Dr. Lamar’s career began in academic medicine as a clinician, researcher, and educator. However, her desire to create a deeper, more personal impact led her to transition into community-based care, where she now works closely with patients navigating some of the most challenging moments of their lives. She considers it both a responsibility and a privilege to guide individuals through their cancer journey with compassion, expertise, and unwavering support.

Beyond her clinical work, Dr. Lamar is a dedicated contributor to the advancement of medicine. She has authored over 20 scientific publications, participated as a principal and co-investigator in multiple cancer-related clinical trials, and remains an active member of leading professional organizations including the American Society of Hematology and the American Society of Clinical Oncology.

In this episode, we explore not only her professional journey, but the heart behind her calling—what it truly means to serve, to lead with empathy, and to walk alongside others in their most critical moments.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Yes, yes, welcome to another episode of Stories to Create podcast right here at ES Club. I'm your host, Cornel Buntin. I am so excited today because we have the lovely, lovely Dr. Nels. I gotta tell you guys before we dive into all that. I was so impressed with her, how knowledgeable she is. I'm like, yo, we gotta sit down, we gotta vibe. So you guys are in for a treat, and I want to make sure I am saying her name correctly is Zaneda Lamar.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

You got it. The one and only.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

I did that. So welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Oh my goodness. So one of the things we do with our guests, you know, we we treat them, we take them on a light little journey. Sure, sure. You know, and so what I would love for you to do is tell our guests, our listeners, where you were born, where you grew up.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Sure. So I I'm from Louisiana. Okay. Yeah, I'm from Louisiana. Love my state.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Anyone who knows me knows I'm from Louisiana. So that's we have to start there.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Yes, I love that. We have to start there. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

And actually, my dad was in the military. Okay. Yeah, he was in the army. Okay, okay. And so he got out of the army. We stayed kind of in the army town for a while.

SPEAKER_04 2:07

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

And then when I was still lower elementary school, we moved to northern Louisiana. And so I'm from northeast Louisiana.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Okay, okay, okay. And so we stayed in Louisiana.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

We stayed, we stayed in Louisiana, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Now, because your dad, you know, got that military background, was he rough with you?

SPEAKER_00 2:30

No.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Okay. That was good.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Actually, my dad is the epitome of a dad. Come on. And I I'm serious. And and I'm not I'm not like embellishing.

SPEAKER_04 2:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

I I really feel like if everybody had a dad like my dad, yeah, we'll be good. We'll be good. Like I have the pleasure of really, I think, and and I may be over speaking, but for a girl, the first man that you fall in love with, I think is your dad.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Yes, yes, yes. This is true. Yes. Right? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

And so he never treated me like a princess.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Right? My dad, he made us like we would take out the trash. He was, you know, he had me mowing the grass one day.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

He wanted you to know to do things.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

He was, it was just, it was what it was. And so he and my mom have a very special relationship in that she is fiercely independent.

SPEAKER_03 3:31

Oh, wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Like strong, independent.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

So she showed me independence.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

But also showed me like how to be a wife.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

It it it really is. And I didn't realize that that's the biggest flex that you can have.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Oh, definitely. Oh, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Is is that combination.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

Understanding what combination.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

Like my dad is a calm, steady force.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

Okay, okay. Right?

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Like he's quiet.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

But when he speaks, you know, it's it's like uh right. And if he were upset, then I was like, man, somebody did something.

SPEAKER_03 4:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

My mom, now she gets upset. Like I had to hear both sides of the story, you know? I got it's a whole different, it's a whole different.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

So you probably kind of grew up maybe more towards your dad.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

You you would you know it's interesting. So my sister is the daddy's girl.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

Come on.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

And it's interesting. Wow. My sister is to this day, yeah, because now I'm like my dad, he's getting older and and having some health problems.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

And if there's a problem, we'll call my sister and say, Handle that. Handle that. And we know it's handled.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

But I will say that like my husband now has similar similarities of my dad.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Okay, okay. So that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

Right?

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Yeah. Look at you.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

It's really look at God, right?

SPEAKER_01 4:59

I like that. Look at God. He did that. I like that. I like that. Now, in school, did you like sports or love sports? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

Love sports. Okay, okay. Yeah, so in high school I ran track.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

So I ran all the relays. I mean, we were all state.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

I ran in college for a little bit, but then I quit because I wasn't. It was a different experience. Okay. I I think in high school, when you play sports, and this was just for me, it was it's the love of the game.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Like I love the smell of the track.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

I loved, I just loved being there.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

And I actually couldn't imagine my life without a track in it.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

You know? Yeah. And then you grow up and and and things are different. In college, it felt like more work.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Yeah. You know, so you know, I'm from another country. So I had to I had to do a test to pass the test to become a citizen. And you know, one of the places that they have in that paper that you had to study was Louisiana.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Ah.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

Because America had to buy Louisiana.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

The Louisiana Purchase.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

You guys?

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Oh my goodness. So, but that was one of my questions. Like, even though they gave us a hundred questions, that was one of my questions that I needed to know.

SPEAKER_00 6:15

Yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

That was so dope.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

But like for you, was there still a lot of French people there, like, you know, in your early years, or so you know, Louisiana is like broken up into parts.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

Right? So, like you have southern Louisiana and northern Louisiana.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

Right.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

And and it's kind of two different worlds sometimes. Yeah. So, I mean, the French culture and the Cajun culture, you'll get a little bit more the further south you go.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

But but anyone from Louisiana is very proud to be from Louisiana.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

That's amazing. That is amazing. Now, how close is that to you where you were to New Orleans?

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Uh a couple hours. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, just a couple hours.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Have you ever gone to like do the partying over there at the what do they do over there? The Mardi Gras?

SPEAKER_00 7:03

Oh, Mardi Gras and everything. You know, like Louisiana is interesting. So, like, it's it's a good time, it's good food, it's love. But I've never been a super party girl.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

You know, like I've always like known what I wanted. I've always known, like, I've done the things and gone to the festivals.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

But, you know, I just I like to chill out.

SPEAKER_01 7:28

You just chill, you know.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Well, and then too, like, I've been so focused for so much of my life.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

Right? So I knew I wanted to go into medicine. I knew what that needed to look like for me.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

Right.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

And then, you know, you get married, you have kids.

SPEAKER_01 7:47

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

And and then, you know, that's life.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

I gotta ask you because going into medicine, when Jerry Curls was out, what was you?

SPEAKER_00 7:56

When Jerry Curls was out. Okay. I did not have a Jericho.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

You did not.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

I did not have a Jericho. I missed the Jericho phase.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

You did, uh.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

I did. I successfully successfully I did. My sister had one of those. But I did not.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Yeah. I missed it.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

I missed the phase. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

She was like, sis, you should get in on this Jerry curls.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Yeah, I was like, oof.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

No.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

It was a problem.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Too much spray.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

It was a lot. The activator, the activator was a situation. The activator. You had to know about the activator.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

Oh, that's amazing. Now, wanting to go into the medicine world, understanding that you gotta put in a lot of years.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

That didn't scare you.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

No, I've always wanted to be a doctor. Okay. So, like since I was like three.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

Maybe four.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

But but but still, it's it's I've always known that I wanted to be a doctor.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

That is so amazing. Now, you know, a lot of people are saying, like, you know, they never really understood, like, when you gotta go do the uh the residence.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

Right, it's true.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

And all that stuff. Well, why is that so confusing for some?

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Well, I think a lot of people don't understand American healthcare.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

And actually, I didn't understand a lot of it until I went into medical school.

SPEAKER_04 10:47

Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

And then I did not grow up having a pediatrician.

SPEAKER_04 10:52

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

I didn't the only way I accessed healthcare was when we would go to the emergency room.

SPEAKER_04 10:58

Right?

SPEAKER_00 10:58

So, or if we got shots, we would go to the health department.

SPEAKER_04 11:01

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

So when I got into medical school, I was like, oh, people have a doctor they can call up and say it's a problem. Right. Really?

SPEAKER_04 11:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

And even with training, I mean, you you know a little bit and you understand a little bit. I think my kids understand so much more because they know, like, okay, this is the path.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Right.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

But I didn't have anyone to show me that path or tell me that path.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

I knew how many years it was, but I didn't understand everything that it entailed.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

I see. I see. Wow. Yeah, I know. My my cousin became a brain surgeon and she had to do, I think, 14 years.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Yeah. So I mean, that's pretty much the way it shakes out. Yeah. Because I mean, I did four years of med school, three years of internal medicine, another well, and then another three years of fellowship.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

You know, and then plus you had the four years of undergrad.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

Right. That's so normally after fellowship though, you're pretty much in.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Now, when when does when is it a time when a doctor would say, you know what? I'm comfortably going and doing my own practice now.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

You know, there aren't many people who are solo practitioners.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

People are changing and people are being more creative, but when I was coming through medicine, you were always told that you can't. You know, like you know, you had to join a practice or you had to join a big group.

SPEAKER_04 12:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:30

And I did. When I finished my training, I was in academics. I was a researcher. I used to write grants. I was in, you know, I would do all of that. And I did that for six years.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

Before I went into private practice. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Okay. So you already had a lot of that experience and know what you needed to do.

SPEAKER_05 12:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Wow. You know, so we met back, you know, when I had to be a part of hosting a gala in Naples that had had to do with second opinion.

SPEAKER_05 13:03

Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

And, you know, what that looked like for individuals that sometimes they question the first option that they have.

SPEAKER_05 13:13

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Right now, and and I know with a lot of people that, you know, seeing different physicians and stuff, some of them are still confused because they're like, well, I don't know if my doctor really know what they're doing. Or why do you feel people are feeling like that right now?

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Well, there's a lot of distrust. I mean, I think there's distrust in healthcare, but there's just distrust.

unknown 13:38

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

Right? And so I think unfortunately, medicine has caused that.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

I mean, sometimes our reputation is not great.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

If you think about the legacy of healthcare, especially in America, not just America, but especially in America, I mean, it hasn't been great.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

Especially towards people of color.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Right.

unknown 14:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

We we know that. And it's it's well documented. And and so there's also a lot of mistrust because of the way the system is set up. And so from a patient standpoint, you know, you may not have as much time with your doctor as you want.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

The cost of healthcare is insane.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Right. And so, you know, from a patient perspective, it's like, look, I am paying for something that is not giving me the value that I want it to have.

SPEAKER_04 14:35

Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

From a physician standpoint, I mean, reimbursements are down.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

Right? You're fighting with insurance companies. You want to spend more time with patients, and maybe you don't have it. So there's a push coming from behind that a patient can't see.

SPEAKER_04 14:52

Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

It's almost like a bad relationship. Right?

SPEAKER_04 14:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

And you know, he's going through something, she's going through something.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

And it's it's you're not able to meet the way that you want all the time.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

You know. And I don't want to just put it out to say there's there's rumors have it that the the the medicine world pharmacies are really drives the functionality of how the doctor treats a patient, or what does that look like?

SPEAKER_00 15:31

You know, a lot of a lot of people see it that way. Okay. Right. That you know, a lot of people say, like, oh, you know, perhaps a doctor is making money off of X, Y, or Z.

SPEAKER_04 15:42

Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

But they're not.

SPEAKER_04 15:44

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

Right? And so you and some people you think, I mean, honestly, sometimes when you really like boil down the math, after you've seen a patient, you may get 30 bucks.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Come on.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Right?

SPEAKER_01 15:58

And so it's it's it's because it's all these hands that are in photos.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

All these hands, right? Yeah. And so there are so many middlemen who are profiting off medicine. And a lot of people also say, like, oh, it's the physician's salaries.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

Physician salaries have not changed in like 20, 30 years.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

Seriously.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

Right? They it is not going up with inflation.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

So now now don't feel sorry for nobody's starving, okay? Nobody is starving. Don't but there are the the system is so cracked that that you need fundamental shifts in how we think about it. Yeah. You know? So especially in Southwest Florida.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

I mean I mean, there's this there's so much now that seems like states all function different. Would you agree with that? Yeah. So a lot of the medical because I've even noticed, like, because here in in in Southwest Florida, we have NCH and Lee Health as the two big Right. I mean, do they do they work together, like communicate?

SPEAKER_00 17:15

They they do communicate. And and and and you know, the physicians within the the practices communicate, but they're still separate in separate institutions.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Right?

SPEAKER_01 17:26

So So it has to function underneath whatever that's underneath the umbrella that that they're under, yeah. I get that. Okay, I get that. Now, with a lot of people that are still wrestling with natural herbal stuff over medicine, and you know, maybe I don't know how much you can speak on that, but what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Oh, sure. So I've never had problems giving my opinion, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

And and I am not an anti-natural person. Okay. Right? But the things that we know, some of the things that I see is that people are not doing the things that we know we need to be doing. Right. We know you need to exercise. Yes. Like it's it's you can take 60 supplements all day long, right? But if you sit on the couch all day, what's the point?

SPEAKER_01 18:19

This is true. Right?

SPEAKER_00 18:20

So it's like we're we're doing things that don't make sense. Right. I've seen people who vape all day and take 60 supplements, and and it's just it's it doesn't make sense. Yeah, you need to exercise. Yes, yes, you need to eat healthy, right?

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Right. This is true. This is true.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

I mean, that helps with everything from cancer to heart disease to diabetes. And honestly, it's the cheapest thing that you can do.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Look at that. Did you guys hear that?

SPEAKER_00 18:46

It is the cheapest thing that you can do. Yes, and but what's happening right now, and I know we didn't get into it, but I'm an oncologist, so I'm a cancer doctor.

SPEAKER_03 18:55

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

And so I see, you know, what's happening from a cancer standpoint. And one of the things that alarms me the most is the amount of misinformation.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

The amount of disinformation that people are saying is the gospel truth. Right. And it's just not true. I mean, I have people who don't want to get mammograms.

unknown 19:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

Because they say mammograms cause cancer. I'm like, you gotta be kidding me right now. I mean, and and and so then we're diagnosing cancer at later stages because we just didn't do a simple test. I have people now recently who don't want to do colonoscopies.

SPEAKER_01 19:37

You know, and and and I feel that that's a huge topic to touch on a little bit because we've even lost a few influencers that people have, you know, watched even in movies and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

Right, like Chadwick Bozeman, right? Black Panther. I mean, it's heartbroken. I never watched Black Panther 2. No, but I couldn't take it. Right. I could not take it. Yeah, it's like my family's like, you still haven't watched, still hadn't watched Black Panther 2, y'all. I can't I can't deal with it.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Yeah, because you know, you set the stage.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

He set the stage. And so the thing that's very, very sad is that one, we know that we are seeing colon cancer in younger people.

SPEAKER_02 20:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

This is a fact. This is a fact. We are seeing colon cancer in younger people. We also know that colon cancer is one of the cancers that can be prevented if you have a colonoscopy and you have a polyp removed. Really, the time that it takes from a from kind of the start of a colon cancer to becoming a colon cancer, we think is about 10 years.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Oh, wow. So it does take a while.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

It takes a while. So, like this is something we can literally, this is the one cancer we can literally prevent.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Okay. So it's so it's so it's literally a pileup in the body that needs to be removed.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

It needs to be removed. And then you can catch it before it even becomes a cancer.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

One of the things that needs to change from a policy standpoint is because we're seeing it younger. Should we think about, you know, getting those colonoscopies younger? I will say you should get a colonoscopy at age 45. Yes. Particularly if you are black.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

45. We're not waiting until 50, we're doing it at 45.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

I'm doing mine this year. I'm doing mine this year.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

You're right, because I mean, with what I'm seeing, it's heartbreaking.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

It's heartbreaking, and a lot of people ask me why. And I have a lot of theories.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

But at the end of the day, it's a problem right now.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

It's a problem. While I'm on that, yeah. Prostates, my men.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

I need you to get your PSA at age 40.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

PSA at age 40.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:39

Okay. That's just, you gotta do it. We're not doing the finger test anymore.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Okay. It's just a blood test.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

Okay, so the finger test, was that the one where they've oh.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Not doing that no more. We're not doing that no more. So we're just doing the blood test. We're good. We're good.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

I know a lot of guys anymore.

SPEAKER_00 21:59

That's that's what I'm saying. They didn't want to go. They didn't want to get it. They were concerned.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

This is true. Right?

SPEAKER_00 22:05

The doctor put on the gloves and they like, whoa, I'm not.

SPEAKER_01 22:07

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, wait, doctor.

SPEAKER_00 22:10

We're good. Get your blood test.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

Yeah. Wow. You guys are welcome.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

Yes. You know, I I and I and I have to say, because I feel like women check themselves more than the guys. Is that fair to say?

SPEAKER_00 22:28

Generally. Generally. Generally. Generally. I do. And you know what? I don't want to hate on my guys. Because you know what? I have some guys, they are doing their thing.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Okay. They're doing their thing.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

So I don't want to, I don't want to beat them up.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

Okay, but but women.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

Guys, we gotta do better.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

Gotta do better.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

We gotta do better.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

Gotta do better.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

Oh my goodness. Now, with with so many different things that have been now sold in the stores, and you know, of course, we know the USDA approved clone meat and all these things. Some people are saying they can't necessarily avoid some of what is happening.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

No, it's true.

SPEAKER_01 23:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

It's true. It's true because I mean, there are food deserts, the cost of food is unbelievable. I mean, you go in the grocery store, you get three items, and it's like$50. Yeah. You know, that's that's a that's a big deal.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

And it also is true that sometimes the healthier foods may cost a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Expensive, yeah. Right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

And and and that's when really we have to think about our priorities. Right. Right. From a from a governmental standpoint, we have to do better with foods. Right. I mean, it's just unacceptable what's happening with the foods right now.

SPEAKER_04 23:49

Right.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

I do think there's a bit more of a push for that. And I think people are trying to do better.

SPEAKER_04 23:54

Right.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

They really are. They really are trying to do better. But sometimes it's a matter of like, you gotta pull out those beans.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Let me ask you, for people that for people that don't like fruits or vegetables.

SPEAKER_00 24:07

You you no. No. There is no I don't like fruits and vegetables. It is My body is a temple.

SPEAKER_04 24:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

Right? And I am going to treat my body as the temple that God made it.

SPEAKER_04 24:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

And so there has to be something that that that that you will tolerate because you cannot sustain yourself without any fruits and vegetables.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Come on.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

You know what I'm saying? You don't like grapes? You're telling me you don't like apples either.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

Yeah, I know, right?

SPEAKER_00 24:37

Do you there it's you don't like kiwi?

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

Mango.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Come on. Come on. I I tried this new orange. Actually, a patient brought it for me.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

I can't even say, I don't even know what it was. It was like a big orange. It was, it almost looked like a grapefruit. I never had it before.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Yes, yes. I just, yes, I just had it. It's amazing. Oh my God. Yes, yes. I was like, what is this?

SPEAKER_00 25:01

I cut it up the wrong way because I was like, oh, this is this thing is big. But uh it was good.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

It was good. And you know what?

SPEAKER_00 25:08

It didn't have an overpowering taste. Right. But you felt good with it, right?

SPEAKER_01 25:12

Yeah, yeah. Now, for people that want to choose, and they say, okay, pineapple, watermelon. Which which one you which one would you tell them to choose over the other?

SPEAKER_02 25:25

Both.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

Choose. Come on. How are you gonna choose between a pineapple and a watermelon?

SPEAKER_01 25:31

Who does that?

SPEAKER_00 25:32

Who does that? That's an unacceptable choice.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

You guys hear that? I can agree with that. Now, for you, when you get up in the morning, you have a busy day ahead of you. Right. What is the music that gets you fired up?

SPEAKER_00 25:50

Oh, that's a good question. Okay, so here's another thing that you have to know about.

SPEAKER_01 25:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

Okay, I didn't I didn't put this all out there. Growing up, we could only listen to certain music. Right? Okay, so even though my dad wasn't a drill sergeant in other ways, he was in terms of what we watched and what we saw and what we listened to.

SPEAKER_04 26:13

Okay, okay. Right?

SPEAKER_00 26:14

Because it was like everything that it was like garbage in, garbage out.

SPEAKER_02 26:19

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

Right. And so from that foundation, the the most recent CD that I I've been listening to this week, it's there's this guy, Trip Lee.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

Trip Lee, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

Yeah, like he was he's a pastor, but he's also a rapper. Yeah, yeah, you really. And he came out with this new album called For Your Glory or something.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

Okay, yeah. I think I heard the features song on it or something.

SPEAKER_00 26:44

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I've been listening to this week. Okay, okay. But in terms of what gets me going, okay, but I I do have a ritual, it's not necessarily music.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

But I talk to my mom every day on the way to work.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

Come on.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

Every single morning.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

She calls me between 7 and 7.05. Every single morning.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

And today she called me like three times because it was 7.08. And I'm like, look, I'm trying to get in the car. Yeah. So but every morning.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Big ups, mom. Love that. Mom voice is motivated. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Every morning.

SPEAKER_01 27:17

Wow. Yeah. That is amazing. So there's two gospel concerts happening.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

We got Kirk Franklin over here.

SPEAKER_00 27:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

We got. I was going to go with Shirley Caesar, but we'll do it. We can do a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 27:33

You can do better than that. You can do better. We ain't going. We ain't going, okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

We gotta put Kirk Franklin over here and we're gonna put Danny McFarlane over here. Who we go with?

unknown 27:45

Kirk.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

I'll probably go with I'll go with Kirk on that one.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

You go with Kirk on that one. Yeah. Okay. I like that. Yeah. I like that.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

Yeah, I'll go to Kirk on that one.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

Wow, that's beautiful right there. No, I know you.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

But you know, if you had to choose between if we're going back in that era, because you're going back, you're going back in the era. If you had to do Kirk Franklin versus you remember that old group called Commission? Oh, Commission. With Fred Hammond and all. I'd be over there. You know this.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Yeah, okay, okay, okay. I can see that. I can see that. Yeah. I could see that. So you've listened to a few CC Widens and BBL. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

I like the but even, you know, I like CeCe.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

Yeah?

SPEAKER_00 28:23

I like, I mean, she's she's cool. She's been she's consistent.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

Okay, okay. So with that being said, you you tap into the country a little bit as well.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

Okay. So a little bit of Dolly, a little bit of Kenny.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

Uh let me see. You remember like Gretchen Wilson and now that like that's going back.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

Still got Kenny Rogers in the mix there somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

I don't know if he's all the way in the mix. No.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

I like that though. So your parents was solid when it comes to that type of.

SPEAKER_00 28:57

They were solid. I mean, but if we're still going, Lauren Hill, Jill Scott.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Ooh. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm like kind of. Okay, okay. Marcy Gray as well.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

Okay, okay. Yeah. So so I don't, you know. I like that. Not too much, because it's still when stuff is like, it has too much in it.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

I feel nervous. Like it doesn't, it just, it just doesn't, I can't.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

Yeah, like what's happening?

SPEAKER_00 29:21

I I can't put too much of it into my soul.

SPEAKER_01 29:23

You know, I like that you say that because my son the other day was trying to ask me why I don't like when they're playing certain rap music in the house.

SPEAKER_05 29:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

And I was like, first of all, if I can't understand like a sentence of what they're saying.

SPEAKER_05 29:41

Right.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

Come on.

SPEAKER_05 29:43

Right.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Who who want to what if what if I just spend three minutes listening to? You just took three minutes of my time.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

So I totally understand it.

SPEAKER_00 29:54

And I think we're very spiritual beings, right? You know?

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Yes, yes. I think a lot of people are still trying to understand that. And I know that that could be a little heavy for some people. I don't even know how you would touch on that a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

We can go there.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

The spiritual worm for people to understand how we function. And we do have spirits as well that are supposed to be directing us.

SPEAKER_05 30:24

Right.

SPEAKER_01 30:25

But there's a lot of people that don't necessarily understand that. Right. They're saying it doesn't make sense. What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_00 30:33

I I would say I don't know if I would try to convince them.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

The thing that I would say is that I am guided and have lived my life based on direction. And it it's always been that way. I mean, if we want to go deep, right. When I was a child, someone said over me that I would be before great men. Wow. This was like infant. Yes. Right?

SPEAKER_04 31:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

It's as true as can be. Yes. Right? Like who knew that one day I would be in Naples?

SPEAKER_04 31:17

Right.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

And I I have encountered and met unbelievable people. I've been unbelievable. You know, it's it's just only doors that God could open.

SPEAKER_04 31:28

Right.

SPEAKER_00 31:29

And so all of the steps, especially the major steps in my life, I think have been directed by God. Yes. And so I have done more things based on dreams.

SPEAKER_01 31:42

Right.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

And based on like, I don't think this is the right way to go.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

Like I I like that.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

And and so call it what you want.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

And I've made decisions that people are like, why are you doing this? Why did you walk away from this? And I'm like, if it's not for me, it's not for me.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

No, you don't want to compromise yourself.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

And that's why I am not concerned about anybody else.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

Because like what God has for me, that's me.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

That's for you. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 32:10

What God has for you is for you. My path is not, I want to see you win. Yes. I want to see you prosper. Yes. I want to see your family good. I want to see your kids good. Because I mean, how beautiful is that?

SPEAKER_01 32:23

That is so beautiful. That is so amazing, too. Like, you know. And I have to tell you, because you move with a presence that you need, we need to see you. Like you pull up and we're like, okay, who is she? Yeah, I like that.

SPEAKER_04 32:42

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

So you can tell that, you know, you have that presence with you that is directing you and protecting you and all that.

SPEAKER_00 32:49

Right. It's it's it's it honestly, I can only say that comes from a relationship with God.

SPEAKER_01 32:55

That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

That that that's if if there is any question of where that comes from. And and sometimes I've had people say, like, oh, I'm worried about this person, I'm worried about this, I'm worried about that.

SPEAKER_02 33:07

Why?

SPEAKER_00 33:08

Why?

SPEAKER_02 33:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

There there is one person whose opinion I seek.

SPEAKER_01 33:17

Oh, thank you for doing that right there. Hey, you guys are welcome again.

SPEAKER_04 33:22

Chaps.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

That's beautiful. You know, one of the things I've been hearing, you know, lately is that how much Naples is a bubble and they try to keep people out. What would you say on that?

SPEAKER_00 33:37

Oh, that's a good question. So Naples is the most interesting place I've ever been. Again, I'm from Louisiana.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

And in Louisiana, you can be rich, poor, black, white, and eat in the same places.

SPEAKER_01 33:51

Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Right? You can have a pickup truck. And honestly, a lot of people drive trucks. So you don't know who has what everybody has a truck. Everybody's gonna eat at the same place. You could be a millionaire or you could be like hand to mouth.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

This is true. This is true.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

And you don't know.

SPEAKER_01 34:08

And you don't know.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

And you don't know.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:11

And so Naples is very, very interesting. So I have never been in a place that has had so much in terms of resources. Right. Like there are the one, you know, Naples is beautiful, right? There's there's incredible wealth. Yes, yes. And nothing like I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_04 34:36

Right.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

Right?

SPEAKER_04 34:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

And and and each day, you're like, wow, I didn't know I didn't know people like move like that.

SPEAKER_04 34:44

Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

But what I've learned from it is that it's definitely not everything. I told someone the other day that Naples is the richest, poorest place I've ever been.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

No, there's a word I don't know if I've ever Right.

SPEAKER_00 35:03

And and it's and it's it is. It's rich in resources. It's rich in, I mean, anything anything.

SPEAKER_04 35:11

Yes, yes. Right? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Move mountains, move laws, move anything. But what I've also learned is that you cannot buy health.

unknown 35:24

Right.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

You can't.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

You cannot buy peace. Right. You cannot buy just joy.

SPEAKER_01 35:31

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:33

Right? And and so, and the people I I must say, I am enamored by the people who were able to have it all, quote unquote, yes, and still be content.

SPEAKER_04 35:49

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:50

Because you know, there's a scripture in the Bible that it's harder for for you know, it's easier to go through the eye of the needle. Yeah, that's right. Right. And I always wondered about that. I was like, why? Like, what's why is it so hard? But when you don't have to depend on God for anything, that that's a tough place to be.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

That is a tough place to be.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

It's a tough place to be.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

Oh my goodness. I'm glad you touched that, you know, because I had this brother. I don't, I'm still calling brother. He reached out. Well, a young lady that knows about what I do with my Tuesday group. I have guys that I meet with, we do Bible study, we try to hold each other accountable and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 36:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

And she she said to him, you know, she had just sold him a house, I don't know, for like five point something million, whatever. But she said he's miserable.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:42

And she said, Why don't you connect with Cornell?

SPEAKER_02 36:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

And he texted me.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:47

And I said, Hey, I would love to have you come to the group. This was maybe a year and a half ago.

SPEAKER_04 36:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

He has never came to the the and one time he reached out, he was like, I am so unhappy and all these things. And I want to say to him, bruv, you're making you unhappy. Like we're trying to tell you come to God. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 37:10

Correct. And and it's it's it's fascinating. It really is. Because I mean you just think about like why you have everything.

SPEAKER_04 37:21

Right.

SPEAKER_00 37:21

You have everything. Like, why are what are you upset about?

SPEAKER_04 37:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

Like, did the yacht run out of gas? Like, what'd you say, what happened? But but it's not. It's it's it's it's a prison of sorts.

SPEAKER_01 37:34

Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 37:38

And it's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 37:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

It it's it's it's interesting. Having said that, yes, on the flip side, one thing that I also say about Naples is that I people, if one of the things that I was concerned about, because there aren't many black people in Naples.

SPEAKER_04 37:56

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 37:57

And so when I first moved, I mean, there was a little bit of people who was like, I don't want her as my physician. I don't want that was a little bit at the beginning. Yeah. But I mean, now my people rock with me.

SPEAKER_04 38:07

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:08

Like we are good. Like my my patients, the community.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

Right.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

We roll. Like, I don't have, I really can't say anything, you know. Like they, y'all rock with me, neighbors. I love you. My patients, like, I I see them all around town, and it's it's love.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 38:30

Of course, it's not 100%, you know, some people that are like Yeah, you still got a few, but I mean I've seen that. I see that. But generally, yeah, I mean, they, you know, even think about the person who brought me oranges, you know, it's just like, I wonder if Dr. Lamar had them oranges before.

SPEAKER_01 38:46

You know? Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 38:48

Right?

SPEAKER_01 38:48

You know, I I gotta say though, because of, you know, just even how we function in this space now. And you know, they say everyone is for the time that they're in.

SPEAKER_05 38:58

Right.

SPEAKER_01 38:59

But then you look back on, you know, like in the early 40s and in the 50s and the challenges that you know our color went through. Right. How would we function there? Like, even with the headspace that we have, like, you know, like questioning a lot of these things that they really made these guys believe, and they ran with that.

SPEAKER_05 39:23

Right.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

They become a protocol, whatever that environment is, and you're like, that doesn't even make sense. How did you guys even manage to be functioning for so long? At no point, no one, light bulb went off. And what do you mean? It's trying to understand, like, because maybe we were so accepted with a lot of the treatments that have happened, and like us okay with the the treatments that we were getting and not being acceptable in Sure.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

So I we were in Louisiana February, two months ago. We were we were in we we went back and my kids there, and my great grandfather.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 40:13

I remember he lived in this house, and every time you walk in the house, it would shake a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 40:17

Yeah, right? Okay, okay. It was like a boardhouse.

SPEAKER_00 40:21

It was like a boardhouse, and it had like the cylinder blocks holding it up. Okay, and the front yard was a cotton field.

SPEAKER_04 40:27

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 40:28

Front yard was a cotton field. And and this, and and it wasn't until later on, and I was like, wait a second, it was a plantation. It was a plantation. It was it literally was a plantation, right? Wow, his front yard was a cotton field.

SPEAKER_04 40:41

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 40:42

And so we were talking about it, and my mom was like, Oh, you know what, let's just drive over there. Yeah, and because it's like 15, 20 minutes away from the house.

SPEAKER_02 40:51

Right.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

So we drive over there, and of course, you know, his house is not there anymore. Okay, but you see like the acres and acres and acres of fields, right? Yeah, so he was a sharecropper.

SPEAKER_03 41:06

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 41:07

Right. And so, like, you know, his parents were slaves.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 41:12

And so the only way that he could make a living was to stay on the land and sharecrop the land.

unknown 41:19

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Right? And so I just, and we just keep driving and we just see, hey, I mean, we're still driving, and it's still like, and that's what they have to toil and do. And it was just like there was no choice, right? Right? One, but then to think of I think we are their answered prayers.

SPEAKER_01 41:42

This is true. This is true. I can agree with that, you know? Yeah. And we have more information at our fingertips now, and we have more access.

SPEAKER_00 41:52

Right.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

They didn't have that.

SPEAKER_00 41:54

They they didn't have it. They were doing the best that they could with what they had. They were doing the absolute best they could.

SPEAKER_01 42:01

You know, one of the things I heard that was really mind-bottling, there was a time when they did not think we were humans. They had us at a percentage. And I was like, what?

SPEAKER_00 42:10

Yeah, three fifths.

SPEAKER_01 42:11

Who came up with that? But that's yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

But but but I I I I think as a human race, we've always tried to separate each other.

SPEAKER_04 42:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

Right? And we've always generally we I think that's too, because you're not walking in your own path with God, you know? Like if you're comfortable with who you are, I don't care. You like you you do your thing, I'll do my thing. It's not I take from you and you take from me.

SPEAKER_01 42:39

Right.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

You know?

SPEAKER_01 42:41

You know, one of the biggest things now, like, even with the way a lot of individuals act, some of these, I guess, black influencers that have made it, are getting to a point where they say, you know what, you're successful. Why are you guys not helping some of the other people that are not successful? Same color. But it's like those people that have gotten an opportunity to go through the gate, either close the gate behind them, or they don't feel everyone should have access. What would you say on that? Like one of the reasons why we're, and I think some people would say we're still considered at the bottom of the totem pole because we're not united as a lot of the other races are.

SPEAKER_00 43:33

So I I I do think sometimes when you are trying to make it, whatever it is, there's so much pressure.

SPEAKER_02 43:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

Because one, you have to be the ideal person to be able to fit and sit in some of these spaces. Right. Right? Right. That's a that's a heavy load.

SPEAKER_01 43:53

That is a heavy load.

SPEAKER_00 43:54

It's it's a heavy load. And so I have seen a lot of people flounder just because every day they're getting beat up at work trying to make it.

SPEAKER_04 44:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:05

Then you're getting beat up by the community because it's like, why are you not doing this?

SPEAKER_02 44:10

Right.

SPEAKER_00 44:10

And it's this extra tax.

SPEAKER_02 44:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:13

And you're like, look, I'm trying to, you know, and then you still have kids, you still have, you know, it's like, look, I'm still trying to make it myself.

SPEAKER_01 44:21

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

Right? To establish something to be able to, you know, reach back as you're pulling, as you're leaning forward, you know?

SPEAKER_02 44:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:34

It's tough.

SPEAKER_02 44:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:36

It it it it really is, it really is tough. And then it's also like sometimes it's what does that extra help look like?

SPEAKER_01 44:44

Right. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:47

Because I mean, everyone's not cut out to lead a Bible study of men and work and do a podcast and do this and do that and do that, right?

SPEAKER_01 44:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:57

And be a good spouse. Yeah. And be a good parent.

SPEAKER_01 45:00

Right, right. Right? Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot of it.

SPEAKER_00 45:03

It's a lot. It's a lot. And so I think one of the things, especially in I'm just now thinking about a Louisiana community, right? Because I always gotta bring it back to Louisiana.

SPEAKER_01 45:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 45:16

One of the things that I think that we lost, and I'm just saying that like it's an African American community, was that when when there truly was community, people were like in the same neighborhoods. Right. Right? The doctors, the dentists, the teachers, the people who had no jobs, the people who will never get a job.

SPEAKER_04 45:39

Right.

SPEAKER_00 45:40

They all lived in the same community. So even if you didn't have maybe your home was broken, you were able to see, like, oh, you know what? I want to be like them.

SPEAKER_01 45:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:50

I don't want to be like you're able to see it. And so it's not too far off.

SPEAKER_01 45:55

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 45:56

Right? Yeah. And so, or even with sports, right? Like you were like, okay, I can use this as an opportunity to to make it.

SPEAKER_02 46:06

Right.

SPEAKER_00 46:06

I I've thought long and hard about what that looks like and how you serve your. Community in a way that's honoring, yes, such that you don't leave it behind. And I don't know. I don't know what the right answer is.

SPEAKER_02 46:22

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 46:24

I do know that people now are very, very interested. And now there is so much information that even if you do come from a broken home or you come from a bad environment, there are still people that you can look to to see.

SPEAKER_04 46:41

Come on.

SPEAKER_00 46:42

You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't know the answer to that yet. Because I mean, you can even say, like, never in a million years did I ever think that me, I mean, I went to an HBCU.

SPEAKER_02 46:55

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 46:56

Right? Like it's I went to like Martin Luther King Elementary. Like I I was I went to all black settings, right?

SPEAKER_01 47:03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

Would think I would be in Naples.

SPEAKER_01 47:05

Right.

SPEAKER_00 47:06

There is there that that was not on my bingo card.

SPEAKER_01 47:10

Anything is possible.

SPEAKER_00 47:13

And you know, I I I don't know how.

SPEAKER_01 47:16

Right, right. God, God did that.

SPEAKER_00 47:20

He he just he put me there. And so you just walk where you're supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 47:24

You're supposed to be. I you know, I like the way you answer. Just the way you put it out there. And you guys are welcome for that. Hope you guys have been paying attention to the details. Because it's beautiful. And I, you know, for us, I know we still have a lot of struggles in in different areas. But for single moms that are watching you right now, sure, you know, they have single moms have so many questions.

SPEAKER_00 47:50

Right. Because they're a backbound.

SPEAKER_01 47:55

This is true. They are backbound. But one of the things that's been standing out lately, they're not blaming themselves for anything. You know, and I've I know that is kind of like big and I'm not trying to open no can of worms.

SPEAKER_00 48:12

Can of worms was open. Keep going. It was open, you opened it.

SPEAKER_01 48:17

So because sometimes and and this we've seen where if a woman is broken from a relationship, right? She never really fully heals before she goes into another relationship.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

Right. I think if a person is broken from a relationship, because what's happening, and I think this this happens with with men, women, whatever you know, it's I know it's cliche now, but hurt people hurt people. Hurt people hurt people. And so I think women carry the load of that hurt.

SPEAKER_01 48:58

Right.

SPEAKER_00 48:58

Men mass the hurt.

SPEAKER_01 49:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:00

And it comes out in different ways. But they they they're still hurt.

SPEAKER_01 49:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:04

Like men get just as hurt, they get just as brokenhearted from from right. This is true. Y'all might not sit and cry.

SPEAKER_01 49:11

Oh, right.

SPEAKER_00 49:12

Heartbroke. Oh, yeah. Fully, fully, fully broken. Or or have the regrets that, man, maybe I let that person go. Right. Who was the right person, right? And so I I do, I think, for single people.

SPEAKER_04 49:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:28

That's why I think you gotta know who you are and whose you are. It it really does. I know I keep bringing it back.

SPEAKER_01 49:35

Yes, yes. But that's big though.

SPEAKER_00 49:37

It's big. You know who you are and whose you are.

SPEAKER_01 49:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:41

And like because I had the privilege, I told you my biggest flex were my parents.

SPEAKER_04 49:47

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 49:48

We have a lot, but but because of that, I was able to avoid lots of things. And I was always of the opinion, yeah, I didn't even date people who weren't on my standard to marry.

SPEAKER_02 49:59

Come on.

SPEAKER_00 50:01

It was it was it was it was wasting my time and I would be wasting your time.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

Oh, that is so important, right? Oh, you gotta say that again.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

I wouldn't date people that weren't marriage material.

SPEAKER_01 50:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 50:13

And and honestly, everyone who I've ever I mean, they're doing good. They're members of society, they're doing their thing.

SPEAKER_02 50:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:21

Like they may not have been for me, but good people. Like, man, wow.

SPEAKER_01 50:27

I gotta bring you back on the show.

SPEAKER_00 50:30

Now I love talking relationships, and let me tell you why. Because so, one thing that I have always known, I have always, always known. Yes, I knew that I wanted to be a a wife, a doctor, and a mother in that order.

SPEAKER_01 50:45

From an early years.

SPEAKER_00 50:48

I've always known that. And and I've been okay with that. Some people don't want to.

SPEAKER_01 50:51

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 50:52

And that's okay. Because it's a lot of people they don't, they don't want to, they honestly don't want to be married.

SPEAKER_04 50:57

Right.

SPEAKER_00 50:57

They really don't want to have kids. Like they just don't want that. And that's cool.

SPEAKER_04 51:01

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 51:02

But this is what I've wanted.

SPEAKER_04 51:05

Right.

SPEAKER_00 51:05

This is what I've wanted. So if I knew that I wanted these things, right? Why am I messing that up?

SPEAKER_01 51:11

Right. And you know the crazy thing, the people that choose to not want that, they then get jealous of what you got going on and and and mad.

SPEAKER_00 51:20

Right. And and and and that don't bother me because don't bother you. It's like never bother me a bit.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

This is good. I I love that about you. And for individuals that are saying, well, how does she manage the home front work, all these things you do?

SPEAKER_00 51:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:41

And in my head, I kind of know some of what you're gonna say, but I want you to tell.

SPEAKER_00 51:44

Oh, really? Do you know because I don't know what I'm about to say. That's funny. I it is I I'm not gonna say that it's easy, but you just do it.

SPEAKER_04 51:55

Right.

SPEAKER_00 51:55

Right? And and when my kids were very little, like they're kind of early a tween and a teenager. That's what I have right now. Boy and a girl.

SPEAKER_02 52:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:07

And when they were younger, it it actually helped that the hospital where I worked had a daycare associated with it.

SPEAKER_01 52:14

Beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 52:15

Honestly, that was that was my saving grace because the daycare never closed. It never closed, the hours were late.

SPEAKER_04 52:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 52:24

And my husband and I just worked it out. Now, the thing that really helped, because I've never had a nanny.

SPEAKER_04 52:29

Right.

SPEAKER_00 52:30

My husband and I always it's weird, but like sometimes we would lead at different times.

SPEAKER_02 52:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 52:39

And it was kind of like an unspoken.

SPEAKER_02 52:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 52:41

It was an unspoken thing. There were some times when I was like, oh, you know what? He was doing his thing right now.

SPEAKER_02 52:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:46

So it's gonna be up to me. I know if something, if the kids have a fever, it's on me.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:52

And then there were times when I was, especially like recently, I'm building up a new practice. I started a new practice.

SPEAKER_04 52:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:59

And I had all kinds of meetings, and it was just like an extra full-time job.

SPEAKER_04 53:04

Right.

SPEAKER_00 53:05

He he was like, he he he handled it. It was it was just like he would give me a rundown of what was going on. So there was never any jealousy when like I like that.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

Do you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 53:18

It's like it's it's your turn to shine.

SPEAKER_01 53:20

Yeah, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 53:21

And and I'm gonna sit down for a little bit, yeah, and you do your thing.

SPEAKER_04 53:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:25

And and now, you know, the kids are pretty self-sufficient.

SPEAKER_04 53:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:29

But also, I also believe that kids should fit into your life.

SPEAKER_01 53:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 53:33

And not the other way around.

SPEAKER_01 53:34

This is true. This is very true. Right.

SPEAKER_00 53:36

I see some people running around like, oh, it's it's they nap time or is that look, you gotta go somewhere, you take them with you, and they gotta figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 53:44

You know, I gotta say, but and this is why I said, like, I I feel like I I know some of what you're gonna say. I'm glad you involved your husband there. Because I was like, if you don't put your husband in there somewhere, then I'm like, okay, well, I'm off a little bit right now. But I figured with the type of you choose.

SPEAKER_00 54:04

No, he does his thing. Like he, I mean, not beautiful. I mean, at one point he was homeschooling the kids. Like, he is come on, man. Y'all not ready.

SPEAKER_01 54:15

Respect, bruv. Yeah, not ready.

SPEAKER_00 54:17

Like, no, he is. He he is he's a rock.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

I love that. I love that. And we we gotta meet, I gotta meet him at some point. You gotta meet the other Dr.

SPEAKER_00 54:25

Lamar.

SPEAKER_01 54:26

I gotta meet at him at some point. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:28

We met in medical school.

SPEAKER_01 54:29

Yes. In medical school. That's what I told you. Yeah, we met in medical school.

SPEAKER_00 54:33

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:35

I mean that's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 54:37

I didn't think I was gonna marry a doctor, though. Lord have mercy. But look at you.

SPEAKER_01 54:40

You did that.

SPEAKER_00 54:41

But you know what? It was where it was supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

Yeah, it was supposed to be that.

SPEAKER_00 54:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:45

Yeah, and you did that. I gotta tell you, I am really blown away by this this this show that they just there's still so many stuff that we haven't even tapped on. I know. We're we're because we're in the closing phase right now. Oh, look at that.

SPEAKER_00 54:59

We just got started.

SPEAKER_01 55:02

We really did. We haven't even so definitely gotta bring you back on the show. And I'm just gonna be like, when you're available again.

SPEAKER_00 55:11

Yeah, you may need to bring the other half.

SPEAKER_01 55:13

Yes, I would love that. Tell him, please, tell him. Listen, come hang out. Listen, guys, I know I've short chained you guys a little bit, but listen, I'm bringing her back, and her husband would be back with her. But for anyone right now that wanna, like let's say they wanted to know if you're taking new patients, is that possible?

SPEAKER_00 55:35

Oh, absolutely. So I I am in I am a blood doctor and a cancer doctor. I'm located in Naples on Goodlitt Frank Road. The name of our practice is Florida Oncology and Hematology. And if I can be helpful, I'm happy to I'm I'm happy to see you.

SPEAKER_01 55:53

Wow, you guys heard it. Plug in. This is beautiful. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 55:59

Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_01 56:00

Oh my goodness. You were amazing. Listen, guys, until our next episode where we have another decorative guest right here at the Ask Club. Thank you.