The Dave Crenshaw Success Show

The Adaptive Athlete, Carter Arey - Team USA athlete and Adaptive Golfer

• Dave Crenshaw • Season 3 • Episode 17

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Hear the story of how Carter Arey turned the obstacle of losing a leg into motivation and professional opportunity. His perseverance, natural athleticism, and positive mindset pushed him to overcome challenges throughout his career. In this episode, you’ll learn the rituals and techniques Carter used to succeed as an adaptive athlete and how he balanced a demanding schedule with his family life. Listen to his story and choose which action will serve you best today.


Action Principles 


Pick one to do this week: 


  1. Push yourself to be the best. Don’t get outworked by someone else simple because you’re not giving your maximum effort. ACTION: Ask yourself what you can change to be the best at what you do and do it. 
  2. Be adaptive. Things don’t always work out the way you planned it. Adapt to the situation without losing momentum. ACTION: Brainstorm solutions instead of giving up.
  3. Seek therapy. Support is a valuable tool, whether things are going bad or good. It can help guide you in the right direction. ACTION: Consider whether incorporating therapy into your routine would be helpful.
  4. Focus on nutrition. Your health affects your ability to be productive. Take care of your mind and body for optimal success. ACTION: Commit to enjoying one healthier meal per day to work towards a better nutritional diet. 



Guest Resources


Learn more about Carter Arey by following him on Instagram or visiting CarterArey.com.


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Time Management Fundamentals


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Thanks to Dave Crenshaw's partnership with Microsoft and LinkedIn Learning, you can get free access to his full course, Time Management Fundamentals, at DaveGift.com.

Dave Crenshaw develops productive leaders in Fortune 500 companies, universities, and organizations of every size. He has appeared in Time magazine, USA Today, FastCompany, and the BBC News. His courses on LinkedIn Learning have been viewed tens of millions of times. His five books have been published in eight languages, the most popular of which is The Myth of Multitasking—a time management bestseller. As an author, speaker, and online instructor, Dave has transformed the lives and careers of hundreds of thousands around the world. DaveCrenshaw.com

Dave Crenshaw:

What was it like to win that gold medal at the America's Cup?

Carter Arey:

I don't see I had the flu that night. No. Oh

Dave Crenshaw:

my goodness. In this episode, you'll get to know Carter Arey, the adaptive athlete, and you'll hear the story of how he turned the obstacle of missing one leg into motivation and professional opportunity. I'm Dave Crenshaw, and this is my success Show. Welcome back friends to the Dave Crenshaw Success Show. This is where I speak to some of the most successful people in my life's journey. And I'm looking for principles of success to help both you and my family in case it's your first time here. I'm a best selling author. I speak around the world to Fortune 500 companies. And I've taught millions of people how to be successful through my online courses, in particular on LinkedIn learning. With this show, I wanted to create something lasting I want to help my family succeed. But as I was creating this project, I thought you'd also enjoy learning along with them. So during the show, I interviewed people who have achieved multifaceted success in many areas of their life, not just career or financial success. So they spend time with their family, they have fun. And what I want to find are universal principles of success that you can use right now in your life. And by the way, if you think of someone who might make a great guest, send us that suggestion to guests at Dave crenshaw.com. And we'll take a look at them. So as you listen to today's episode, look for something you can do look for an action you can take today, this week to make my guests success story, a part of your success story. And today's guest is remarkable. Carter Arie is a Team USA athlete and adaptive golfer. He started his athletic career by joining the men's wheelchair basketball team at the University of Missouri. He then earned a spot on Team USA where he helped his team win the 2013 America's Cup gold medal. After retiring from basketball, Carter discovered his passion for adaptive golf and now competes in tournaments across the country. Carter is also an avid supporter of the Shriners Hospital, and the adaptive community. And when he's not out on the course, he enjoys spending time with his wife and two children in Columbia, Missouri. Carter, thank you so much for being on the show. It's an honor to have you here. Thank you, man. Yeah. And I was fascinated by your story and how you've carved out a place for yourself as an athlete, and also achieve balanced success with your family. So I want to dive into all of that. So I like to ask every guest this question. And the question is, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Carter Arey:

Yeah, I've actually asked my mom the same question of, What do you like, what was I into? And her two things are the Weather Channel? First thing out of the bedroom, I'd walk into the living room turn on The Weather Channel, and also that I was obsessed with the Olympics. Obsessed with Team USA, I thought it was the coolest thing in the world, which is interesting to say the least. And

Dave Crenshaw:

you were born with a physical disadvantage. Is that correct?

Carter Arey:

I was Yeah. My situation is that my right femur was shorter than my left femur. And so they could either lengthen that femur bone, or they could take off the right foot and throw a prosthetic leg on me. And my parents made that decision. I can't now that I have kids, I'm not sure I can make that decision. It gets tougher the older I get, but they ended up just taking taking the foot off and thrown a fake leg on me. Yeah,

Dave Crenshaw:

that would be an extremely difficult decision for parents to make. And you're not old enough to fully appreciate the long term ramification of that, how old were you when that procedure occurred?

Carter Arey:

was for a trainers Hospital in St. Louis.

Dave Crenshaw:

So you're obsessed with the Olympics, yet you're missing part of your leg? So how were you at a young age when you were starting to form opinions about what we were going to do in the future? How were you reconciling the two didn't

Carter Arey:

see myself as the kid with the fake leg, I suppose. I don't have much of an ego on me. But I was the best athlete in the school in the class always. We didn't really look at adaptive sports because we had traveled basketball, travel baseball, and I was excelling at all all the all the levels. So it wasn't something that ever crossed my mind as maybe this is a disability.

Dave Crenshaw:

That's really interesting. Did you ever encounter any obstacles in sports? Anyone that was saying, well, he should be in a different classification because of this.

Carter Arey:

No, I was in high school other than basketball practice in high school and do Getting the ball to the left and the defender stepped on my foot in my leg came off. Thankfully, that wasn't a practice and not not a game. But other than that, I don't really remember any, any, any conversations about it. What's your best ball came in a really cool spot in my life. But it was something where Wheelchair Basketball is a profession was was a thing, and still is for a lot of people.

Dave Crenshaw:

And I want to talk to you about the wheelchair basketball because that's that's really an interesting part of your story. I want to pause for a second before we go into that and just sort of ask about mentors or leaders or people who had an influence on you at a young age. Is there someone that that stands out in your mind as someone who had an impact in your future, but you just didn't know it at the time?

Carter Arey:

Yeah, no, not really. I didn't I didn't have anybody that looked like me, Dave, like, No one looked like me. So I had no one to look up to. So it was one of those things where I was creating my own path, I was trailblazing being the only person who looked like me excelling the way I did. And it was lonely at times, and weird. Lots of big emotions in the age range of 12 to 16. With a disability.

Dave Crenshaw:

What decorated were we talking about here when you were growing up at that age? Early 1000s. Okay, so it seems like over the last 10 to 20 years, the awareness, and the promotion of having success in the adaptive community has really increased. So at that time, was it not quite there yet? You weren't getting that kind of support?

Carter Arey:

Yeah, there was no support. There wasn't any commercials. You know, there was no posters, which is really cool to come back. Years later, with being that person for others, speaking to the younger generation about things, and I would love to be that role model, I would love to say, Hey, you look like me.

Dave Crenshaw:

Here's what I did. Go break my record. But I never had that. So that takes a lot of personal persistence. To do that, when you're not seeing those mentors, when you're not seeing those examples. Was there a framework? Was there a philosophy? Was there something that you were using to keep you moving forward, in spite of not having those examples? I'm extremely

Carter Arey:

competitive with everything. But someone said, Hey, someone at work do today. And that sunk and hard. And after I heard that, it was one of the things that never got out of my head. It was a constant reminder of Hey, someone don't let anybody work at outwork you today. And it was years of that of grinding, just beating myself into the ground. Not letting anybody outwork me. So yeah, well, that's,

Dave Crenshaw:

I mean, that's a great philosophy to think, Hey, I'm never gonna let anyone do that to me again. And I think that's a perspective that's valuable for a lot of people. And that's part of what we're doing here. Carter's, we're looking for principles that someone can use to make their life successful. And I think that's a great one. So where did wheelchair basketball come into your life? Like, talk to me about the beginning of that where you became aware of it where someone recruited you into it?

Carter Arey:

Yeah, that was all same hour. So I went to community college here in town. And to get the best pickup basketball games, I would often borrow my roommates, University of Missouri student card so I can get into the Rec Center to play pick up basketball because that's where the best basketball players were. And one day I was playing and the University of Missouri wheelchair basketball team, while the head coach saw me with a prosthetic leg playing basketball and he ran down there. He's like, Hey, you're thinking about Sitting in Chair and doing that? I was like, no, he's like, you want to? I was like, kinda because that looks that looks

Dave Crenshaw:

was that offensive at all to you like, Well, why would I want to sit down? I've been doing it standing up like

Carter Arey:

0% I was I've always seen life in the framework of opportunities. Everything's an opportunity. I'd never I just never gotten hit in the face with such a massive opportunity. But I sat in the chair and threw up some shots. He rebounded for me, a couple of players came around. And that's how I learned about what's your basketball?

Dave Crenshaw:

Interesting. And were you in a you weren't in a wheelchair

Carter Arey:

now? Right? No, never been in what's your I mean, post surgeries. I've been in plenty normal wheelchairs, but never a sport wheelchair with a cambered wheels and some built for speed and strength.

Dave Crenshaw:

You know what, that gives me a moment to pause here because this is a phrase that I know is used now, but personally, I don't have a lot of familiarity with it. Talk to me about the word adaptive, because that seems like that applies here. Like you were adapting to a different situation. What does that word mean to you? Yeah,

Carter Arey:

I've had to adapt to something different throughout my life. I like that. Like my disability I have. I have a pretty easy Dave. I'm just missing a foot but But adaptive sport, in essence is to allow everybody to compete. I don't need much to compete, put me in some standard, it's probably going to work. But with any type of adaptive sports, there's tools and there's equipment and there's things to build that that company is built around disabilities, and different levels of abilities. So it's all encompassing of any type of person. It's why I love wheelchair basketball. It's why I love all depth sports, what's why I love golf, there's different classifications of what's going on with a disability, but it's it's adapting the game to that person.

Dave Crenshaw:

And what I'm sensing from this is there's an opportunity for everyone, which I think is a great message, not just in sport, but in general. Right. Okay, so talk to me a little bit about your wheelchair basketball career.

Carter Arey:

What's your basketball, the first day came into my life. Like I it was a lightning strike. It was, it took me out of going to a community college and working at Domino's, to go into a dream school playing a scholarship sport. And I was all of a sudden on an equal playing field. It was hey, this is what this is the direction I'm going in. I'm cutting everything else off that wasn't a part of this. And that's what I did. Once he told me that Team USA is on the on in the realm of possibilities and traveling the world and the world possibility he was like, this is way too. There's weird it was like everything I've ever wanted was all of a sudden possible. And so I didn't need any more motivation. I'm very self motivated. But also when I have these long term dreams that are just going to take work now to get I can work. You know, I can outwork anybody to get a dream. And I'm very goal driven. And all of a sudden, I had goals of hey, let's let's set some records. Let's win some championships. Let's get that Team USA, Jersey, let's travel all that stuff. Just let's get after it.

Dave Crenshaw:

I love that it wasn't that you didn't have the ability you just didn't know of an opportunity. Then once you saw that opportunity, once they gave it to you, you just went after it like a lightning bolt. That's really spectacular. You did that. So how did you transition from being on the college team to being playing for team USA?

Carter Arey:

Yeah, it was unique, for sure. It was it was it was a obviously a full time student athlete at Mizzou and full class schedule, practice, schedule, all that stuff. But, I mean, you get invited to tryouts, you don't sign up. And it said, you know, Olympic Training Center basketball is housed out of Colorado Springs. And so I got an email saying I've been invited. And this is only after two years playing the sport. But luckily, I just killed myself for two years trying to, for example, get faster in the chair, get better just catching up. Because all of this, my college teammates have been playing for years. And now I'm got an invite to go to Colorado Springs Olympic Training Center. Me and my family, we couldn't be more excited. But all that was happening during finals, all those you know, travel and travel and come back. And then you have a zoo practice that next Thursday, you're going to have Colorado Springs, so it became a bit of a juggling situation. So

Dave Crenshaw:

I want to talk about that for just a moment. My wife was a collegiate athlete as well, she was a swimmer. And I know that that's one of the challenges that athletes face is there's that juggling of, you're not going to most people don't make a lot of money in sports. It's very difficult to do. So you're juggling another job. And in your case, you're juggling educational responsibilities. And still now, right? You're juggling both you're juggling a day job plus while you're pursuing golf, right. So talk to us a little bit about what that process is that you use to juggle these things. Basically, I'm asking about, what's your time management, like Carter?

Carter Arey:

Yeah, time management is something you learn. I think people are born with certain characteristics, but time management, you got to figure out what works for you. Mine is based around prioritizing what's most important. When I was in college, my priorities are much different than they were now at that point it was food and sleep when I had time. If I had all my essentials knocked out meaning schoolwork and practice and lifting and food. I mean, when do I go to sleep? Very different right now two kids as much as I would like more sleep. I don't know. Kids priority was my son's about turn three. Jack and my daughter's four and a half.

Dave Crenshaw:

All right. Yeah. So you're right in the in the thick of it. Well, yeah, I remember that. Well. Now my youngest is 11. My oldest is 18. But yeah, that's that's a really demanding time, especially from a time management perspective. Maybe that's a good place to to jump and say where did your Where did your wife come into the picture was that in college was that a little bit later? That

Carter Arey:

was after college that was after basketball entirely. actually needed a fourth person, my dad and my brother and myself had a golf scramble that we needed a fourth. I knew Laura played in college. And girls are very valuable in golf scrambles because their tee box, especially if they're good, right, you got you got an advantage on every tee box. So

Dave Crenshaw:

can you explain that for just a second? For someone who is not familiar with golf? What does that mean? Does that mean they're an advantage on it? That's yeah, so

Carter Arey:

women's tee boxes are are normally so many yards different than the back tee markers of events, per se. And if they're a good golfer, like my wife, their drives their tee shot will will always end up past the farthest hitter as far as the men tee boxes go.

Dave Crenshaw:

So so maybe they're they're being given a little bit too much of an advantage event. Hey,

Carter Arey:

that's a that's a argument that I'm willing to back.

Dave Crenshaw:

Yeah. Okay. I

Carter Arey:

know that. It was. I think it was our first text message me asking, Hey, are you available on this day? We'd love we're going to play golf at a scramble. I know you played would love to have you? And luckily she said yes.

Dave Crenshaw:

That's great. Okay. So before we go past it too far. What was it like to win that gold medal at the America's Cup? Yeah.

Carter Arey:

I honestly had the flu that night. No, oh, my goodness. So it wasn't that it was a mixed thing of being very excited. But then after the celebrations going back to the bathroom, and you know, thrown out basically, but it was a it was cool. It was in South America was in Bogota, Colombia. That was my first international trip. As far as sports goes, it was really cool to, to wear that jersey in a national in an international setting. And that's for sure, hitting the national anthem. There's not me feelings that match up to that.

Dave Crenshaw:

That's pretty cool. And I also so you played in spite of the fact that you had the flu.

Carter Arey:

I did. I was not allowed. I was not about to not play in that game. I didn't get many minutes. But I would definitely wanted to be able to tell the kids and why. So I was playing in a play that I played in a gold medal game.

Dave Crenshaw:

I want to go back to that concept of the fact that when you're an athlete, there's there's another aspect of your life that you still need to juggle. Right. So for your day job for that career, what is it that you? You do currently?

Carter Arey:

Yeah, so I work for in the mortgage industry, and I'm responsible for the growth of the company. So whether it be acquiring new teams or or new mortgage professionals, I started those conversations off and ham to the stage of, you know, run through performance or getting them on board. So right now we're based on the East Coast, and we're growing west. So that's a not 24/7 job. But it's it's pretty, pretty constant. Yeah. And I saw you're a national manager for that, as well, right? Yep. Okay,

Dave Crenshaw:

so speaking about that career, because another thing that I really admire, again, referring to my wife, because I have that background of living with someone who is in college athletics. What I admire is there are many principles that she learned from being in a team sport from being an athlete who drives yourself or pushes hard. What are some principles that you have learned from sports that are applicable? In your case? The mortgage industry? Yeah, it's a lot of

Carter Arey:

doing little things right? And doing them right? All the time. I'm a big believer in two things, I guess, one, if you put in the work, you have a chance to succeed. Second thing is, you're at least going to be well prepared. And so you have nothing to look back on and not be proud of yourself for so the behind the scenes is the most important part of being an athlete. And that's true about being a business professional as well.

Dave Crenshaw:

You mentioned the little things that you need to do all the time. What are the little things that you do on a regular basis that prepare you for your career in golfing? And what are the little things that you do that prepare yourself for your career in the mortgage industry?

Carter Arey:

Yeah, I love things I'm doing for my golf career right now are practicing, there's not a lot of downtime. So when the kids go down for the night, eight o'clock, whatever time it is, I'm heading to the gym and or the simulator and practicing to get home around 10 3011 at night. And in between that. I'm not doing that that night, and I'm studying the course that I'm about to play and visualizing. I work with a company called helium, a visual visualization, virtual reality based company. It's something my

Dave Crenshaw:

practice I was going to ask you about that because I just saw that on your Instagram. Yeah.

Carter Arey:

It's very cool, how putting that headset on and takes you to a different place and allows you to quote unquote, maybe meditate or focus on your breathing It is a tool, it is literally a piece of equipment that I can put on my face. And it works. Like sometimes with meditation or breathing exercises, your, you know, sit on the couch or sitting wherever they want to want to do that type of thing. And you have distractions, but you put the headset on, you knock it out in 15 minutes, and you're back on your day. So it's it's a very valuable tool in what I do. But that's definitely within the realm of the little things that I'm doing. Yeah,

Dave Crenshaw:

that I think I think many people are familiar with that concept of visualization is helpful for success. And yet, we don't typically do that in our day to day work. And maybe we should, right, exactly. Okay, so that those the little things that you're doing with golf, what are the little things that you're doing, maybe with your career, or maybe not just your career, but just your life in general,

Carter Arey:

I've come to the realization of, you know, family comes first, you sleep better at night, you can continue building relationships with your spouse, you're building relationships with your kids, there's so many little things that go into that happening. For example, like, let's keep the house clean. You know, let's let's put our beds together, let's make sure we have a living environment that's comfortable that we don't have chores, looking at it or face all day long. So having a happy home and a happy relationship at home is allows you to fully dive into something else with two feet, because then you're not looking back and thinking it doesn't feel like you're juggling all of a sudden, right because you've knocked out one and you can dive into the next one full fledge. So that's why I can go practice at night after the kids go down. My wife is sacrificing a ton of one on one time, but I mean, she's a former athlete, too, she gets that as necessary. But also, if we had a bad relationship, that wouldn't be possible, right? Because then you need you things to fix, you know, on the, on the homefront. So it's the trickle down effect that's massive, as long as you got your things straight at home, and you put your ego to the side and you really dive in as a part of the family then kind of takes care of itself. Oh, that's so true. I

Dave Crenshaw:

so I have a book Carter called the power of having fun. And one of the things that I mentioned in that is there have been studies that support what's called a work home resources model. And that's a really fancy way of saying, when you feel that things are well taken care of at home, you perform better at work. And when you feel that things are well taken care of at work, you're happier and perform better at home. So there is that relationship between the two where they're feeding each other. And if they are in balance, not necessarily in time, but where you're taking care of what needs to be taken care of. You're better equipped to succeed with both.

Carter Arey:

Yeah, I believe in that. It's cool to know that there's actually a study on that. It makes a lot of sense. It's very true. Okay, so

Dave Crenshaw:

let's go back to the golf a little bit. Where did that first come in? And in particular, where did it first start to become a professional opportunity for you?

Carter Arey:

Yeah, golf wasn't really, once I was done basketball. And I retired, I submitted the paperwork for that I was pretty much down to sports. I was cool with being done sports, whereas my life didn't watch it didn't play it. All good. Did my thing made my run at it right? But Lauren, I really bonded through golf. It was a time where we'd like to go on dates to the golf course. Now, she was much better than me. And I didn't know what I was doing. It was just like a reoccurring place for us was the golf course. It was part of our foundation. And still it's still there's more probably it's it is more now than it ever has been because we're growing with the professional route. But it really took off, gotten to this stage of being something that we really wanted to go after. Once we saw the adaptive us adaptive open on the Golf Channel. Use adaptive open is USGA is major championship, I basically saw these guys on TV with the fake legs or, you know, missing an arm or something like that. I was like, what, what is that? Similar to wheelchair basketball, I knew nothing about it. And all of a sudden, I'm looking into something that I hadn't knew nothing about. That could be a level playing field equal playing field. And I looked at as like, I, I could do that. Like, how do I do that? So we just basically started googling it, figure out what it took to make one of those tournaments. And that was two years ago. I took the golf course Laura helped me figure out golf, what works in a golf swing, what it should look like what feel like what's important. And I've put in two years of work to kind of get to the stage a map.

Dave Crenshaw:

So this leads to something I've seen and then also a question. I saw a post that you just put up on Instagram recently about how many I think it's eight foot putts you can make in a row. So you miss Yeah, was the numbers like 34 or something like that? Yeah,

Carter Arey:

it wasn't quite I didn't. I didn't set a record but I tried. But

Dave Crenshaw:

it was still impressive. And more importantly, it was entertaining, right to watch that how you put that together? So the first is that that highlights that you practice what you preach about practice, right? You are putting in that work, because you don't get to that level of consistency without a lot of reps, but also highlights, social media, and how you and your wife are using social media effectively. Can you talk a little bit about how you learned to do that? Because I feel like when I look at your Instagram posts in particular, they're all really well done. They're really well thought out. And they're interesting. Where did you acquire that skill?

Carter Arey:

Yeah, no, thank you for saying that. It's, you know, social media is super important. My wife is extremely good. She runs a marketing marketing agency. And part of her marketing agency is, yeah, is managing socials, its its partnerships, it's working on the marketing for her clients. She's a one stop shop for anything that company wants. So she has some background in it. And I have an interest in it. I mean, I would love for a 1215 year old kid, whatever that's that has some type of disability, to see me perform something on the golf course that makes them want to do it. I mean, if I had to do social media for the next five years to accomplish that, then my job is done. That's a driving force for me. I wanted that for me when I didn't have that. And so it's, it's filling a void that I wish I would have had. There's nothing cooler than the world not having something. And for me to fill a void for that person that's making the world a better place. It just is.

Dave Crenshaw:

So in your social media, I see that you talk about your wife as a as your caddy. Right? Clearly, she's much more than your caddy because she's managing your social media as well. But I like that that story. How does that work? And what I'm, in particular, asking is my background as a business coach, I've worked with lots of couples. And often, not always, often, when couples work together in the same business, it sometimes doesn't work out, there's conflict, there's butting of heads, and it can have a negative impact on the relationship. So what do you to do to keep things positive? When maybe there are disagreements? Yeah,

Carter Arey:

it's a new dynamic for us in the last year and a half. And what it all comes down to is communication. It's knowing how to communicate, you have to grow as a person. Always. And I feel like Laura and I have a common goal. And we both understand that we have the same common goal, we've communicated that we have the same common goal. And so if one of us is feeling something, and we don't communicate it, then that just just it just grows and becomes negative. So so the root of it all, and having a dynamic and healthy relationship is communication. That's what we lean on daily, hourly, by the minute, just clear communication.

Dave Crenshaw:

Is that something that you're both naturally good at? Or is that something that you've learned that you've developed as a skill?

Carter Arey:

It is a develop learned skill? For myself? Specifically? You know, first personal growth is very important. I didn't I didn't realize, realize it. I always heard it and understood it was part of life, until I realized that realize that I needed to grow in a certain area. kind of took to it, but she hadn't naturally. So I was one playing catch up on that one.

Dave Crenshaw:

And did you learn from her or were there books or something that you studied to improve on that? Were How did you develop that skill?

Carter Arey:

Man, it was, it was therapy based. You know, I'm not a big reader. Didn't come from that. I did listen to plenty of podcasts on it, but it is the skill and learning that skill came from a therapist. And you know, I can't recommend individual or couples therapy more for anybody. Whether things be going great for you or not so great. It's just my belief, and I'm going to every month and everything's great my life. I mean, I'm at a 10 out of 10 Man, and I will never give up those appointments. Yes, for the rest of my life. I don't know why I wouldn't. I don't know. Why wouldn't. Yeah,

Dave Crenshaw:

that I'm so glad that you're talking about that. And so glad that you're talking about how you're doing it, even when things are good. And I'm in the same camp Carter. I'm a huge advocate for it. I use therapy. I have a wonderful therapist and I work with him all the time. And I really hope that people listening to this will say, you know But maybe I can benefit from it not because things are bad, but because I want to improve and get better. So thank you for sharing that example, with us. So, just two more questions I want to cover. Because we could talk for a long time, I really appreciate you sharing your wisdom with us. Sponsorships, you mentioned helium before, and it'd be great if you mentioned a couple of other sponsors. But that is a massive turning point for the athletes that I've interviewed, having that support our friend, Ben may 4, right getting on the north face. These kinds of sponsorships really fuel your ability to get better and better and grow in your career. How did you get those first few sponsors? Yeah, sponsorships

Carter Arey:

is a major piece to it. The first couple sponsorships only happen. Because of having a my wife, putting together professional media kit and reaching out to people that we might have been a match for. We didn't know people were looking for me. But we're gonna see if they were. And it just took a lot of a lot of work. My wife put hours into this. More than that, it just is something where we focused on, hey, let's do this professionally, let's do this. Right. And, you know, that's what we did, to kind of hold on to it. So now I got a list of companies that that I align with, and they align with me. And it's something that we're just teaming up on for a long term situation and kind of get after it this year. That's

Dave Crenshaw:

beautiful. I love it. Because it didn't just fall in your lap, there was a plan, there was a strategy, you went out and pursued them, you also were thinking about what would be good sponsors. And I think there are lots of lessons that someone listening to that can can apply to their life, don't just wait for someone to come give you a pot of money, you need to go pursue it and get it. So thank you for sharing that example. Yeah,

Carter Arey:

I just goes back to opportunity. Like if there's no opportunity to hit you, in the face, go find some, like literally just go turn over rocks. Make it fun,

Dave Crenshaw:

make it you know, see what's out there. Yeah, and it also sounds like and this is something I can relate to your wife has had a tremendous impact in not just your personal life, of course and your family, but your career. Right. It sounds like you would not be in the place that you are without her wisdom and her guidance.

Carter Arey:

No, not at all she is she's pushed me I've pushed her. But as far as, it's not like she's sitting here telling me to grow or telling me to grow in a certain certain area. I've done the athlete life, right. And so when it comes back to doing the golf world, I enjoy the relationship with my wife, and golf and caddy player and manager player. It is dynamic. It elevates our relationship to another level, it is just so you know, it's just really, really fun. And really, it's really special. Both of us are very, very lucky to have it and have this relationship work.

Dave Crenshaw:

Yeah, it's wonderful to see and to hear. Thank you for that example. Okay, last question. Carter, where do you see yourself in the next five years? What's your vision for your five year future?

Carter Arey:

If I can figure out a way to do exactly this life for five years, I think it'd be a win. We're we're tickled with how healthy everything is right now, in the balance that we've achieved. The kids a little bit older will be great, maybe more consistent. sleep schedules and, and moods, right. But as far as, as far as golf goes, it's something where, you know, I want to be that guy, I want to win the trophies. You know, I want to spread the sport and awareness as much as I can. And I think the guy holding the trophy is more able to do that than anybody else.

Dave Crenshaw:

I love it. And I really do get the sense. We're just at the beginning of that. And I'll be really excited to see that and definitely paying attention to your social media and following us we see that progress. Okay, so Carter, at the end of every interview that I do for the show, I like to summarize action items. My background as a coach, as an educator, is that while education is great, and hearing one of these stories is great, the most important thing is that someone does something about it, as you said they do the little things. So what I'm going to do is suggest three action items, something someone can do today or this week, not a month from now, not a year from now, but right now, so that they can make your success story a part of their success story. I'll share those three and then I'd like you to chime in with one at the end to wrap things up. Sound good? Perfect. Okay, so I'm going to start with one of the first motivators that Carter had in his life was that concept of you got outworked and the idea of not letting anyone else outwork you. So someone lives into this, you can think about what you're pursuing in your career and ask yourself, am I letting someone outwork me? And if so, what do I need to change so that I'm working harder. So I'm the one who's doing the most work so that I can be the most successful at it. So just consider if you can do a little bit more work in the career that you're in right now. The second one, and this is just sort of a general concept, but I think it can still be applied is to be adaptive. And we look at the adaptive community. And we say, well, that applies to Carter, because he's missing a foot. But it applies to all of us in in different ways. There are things that we want to do, but maybe we're not 100% equipped or considered to be ready for it yet. If we ask ourselves, How can I adapt the situation to my needs? How can I make this work, we can find solutions. So just ask yourself, what do I need to do to be a little bit more adaptable to achieve the goal that I'm trying to achieve? And then I just I really want to highlight again, Carter's talking about the value of therapy, and how that's been essential to his success, especially in his marriage, books, communication with others. Therapy is not just for when things are bad. Things can be going good, that can be going great. But if you have that therapy, to lean on, and someone that you trust and work with, things can always get better, you can always improve. So consider, if therapy's for you, or maybe you did it in the past, maybe it's time to go back? Or maybe it's time to find someone new, whatever it is, just think how can I make therapy a more influential part of my life? Okay, Carter, those are my three, what's one that you would add that someone can do this week?

Carter Arey:

Honestly, my nutrition is a big part of living a healthy life. For me, specifically, you know, I'm watching what I'm putting on my body. It's super important to you. And I've been there, everybody's been there. But if I'm having a bunch of soda, and whatever, cutting those out, just give it a week, and just see how you feel. If you have if you have is something that couldn't go back on, it's super important to performing and literally every part of your life, it's waking up with a different type of energy. So I guess my mom, one point is nutrition matters. Just as much as anything else. At the end of the day. Yeah. And

Dave Crenshaw:

you can make one small improvement to it. Like you said, maybe you cut out sugary drinks. I know for me, Carter, that was a big one. Just stopping drinking soda, I probably dropped like five pounds instantly from that. So yeah, just making one small improvement and letting it work through your system a little bit. I love it. That's a fantastic piece of advice that anyone can apply. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us, Carter, if someone wants to follow you, and support you with your career, where's the best place for them to go?

Carter Arey:

We were super active on Instagram. That's our social platform of choice. It's at Carter airy, just like it sounds. Yeah, super interactive on there. And we have fun with it. It's it's a good way to you know, just connect with people. We enjoy it.

Dave Crenshaw:

Yeah, I'll recommend it. I've spent some time on your Instagram account. I love it. It's also a great example of how to do it right as we've learned from your wife. So just to be clear for my audience, that C A R T E R, A R E y. That's your Instagram handle. I really appreciate the chance to get to know you, Carter and you spending your time with us. Thank you so much. Yeah,

Carter Arey:

thank you, Dave. This is awesome. Pleasure to meet you as well. Yeah,

Dave Crenshaw:

really enjoyed it. And thank you everyone for listening. Remember, it's not just about what you heard. It's about what you do. So choose one thing that you can do this week, and you'll make Carter success story, a part of your success story. Thank you for listening.

Darci Crenshaw:

You've been listening to the Dave Crenshaw success show hosted by my dad, Dave Crenshaw, and produce find valuable incorporated research in assistant production by Victoria Bidez Sound Editing by Nick rights. Voiceover by me Darci Crenshaw, and the music is by Ryan brainy via pond five licensing. Please subscribe to the Dave Pinto success show on Apple podcasts, Spotify, wherever you like to get your podcasts. If you have a suggestion for someone my dad might like to interview, please send it to guests at Dave crenshaw.com and please don't forget to leave us a five star review. See you next time.

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