Ep 14 - Monkey See, Monkey Do Write the Works of Shakespeare

We genuinely won the lottery.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Mountains Don't Like Baseball, Episode 14.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

I thought you were bursting. Wait, Cameron, could you tell could you give me a heads up when you start recording? Heads up. So episode 14, it's been a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

It has, it has. And I'll tell you why.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Glenn will tell you why. Oh, uh, we haven't wanted to.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Well, uh that okay, that's been partially true.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

I have just wanted to spend my time doing other things. Yeah, yeah. I there was also a week where I was on vacation. There was a week where Cameron had a big event happening. Um you'll never guess what it is. You'll never know.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

I'll talk about it immediately. One of the things it was actually very recent. This morning I made biscuits and gravy. The thing is, I didn't have any milk. I had buttermilk, didn't have regular milk. And so I'm like, okay, let me let me look up a recipe for buttermilk biscuits instead of my normal milk biscuits. And I find this Southern Living recipe for buttermilk biscuits, which is you would think like the pinnacle recipe of business. I've I I make them up the way that they say to make them, and then I realize, well, shoot, if I don't have any milk, how am I gonna make gravy? I'm not making buttermilk gravy. So I had to stop and go to the store and buy gravy or buy milk anyway. Because then it was stupid that I even made the buttermilk biscuit. But fine. So I cook up the biscuits, I start cooking up the gravy, and I'm looking at the biscuits in the oven, they look like shit. They just look bad. I mean, they look malformed, not rising, crispy on the outside, doughy. Profiling. It's bad. I so I I finish the gravy, gravy's phenomenal, as usual. Pull out the biscuits, and the biscuits are they're they're like crackers. Oh, dope, hard tech. Yeah, I mean, it tasted better than hard tech, but I truly wasn't that much different. So I'm sure I did something wrong at some point, but I don't know what it was.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

The first creator of Lumba spread from Lord of the Rings. Yeah. Also, I have a I have a confession. You've never had B and G. Well, I have had B and G. It's just been like B D'd. No, I I wouldn't know shit about B and G and Dave. My B D. B D. Um, I don't know the difference between buttermilk and milk. I know there is. Don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

Fat content.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

It's it's a good thing that I'm not gonna be informed either. It's fat content. Milk is a s Wait, hold on.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

But oh no, I I have it, I have it.

SPEAKER_02 3:01

Whatever when you have cream, you have cream and you beat it, and the cream separates, it separates into curves.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Is the cream not the effect of the beating?

SPEAKER_03 3:15

No, like you would start like it was a sex joke.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

So you get the you get the I love taking the wind out of your sails as soon as you start talking. You get the butter comes out, and then the thing that the buttermilk is sitting in is the whey. Or the the buttermilk. So there's it goes into butter and buttermilk. And it has it's got fat stuffs, it's got acid stuffs.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

I I assume it's like and yes, buttermilk is a thicker, tangier, cultured dairy product with lower fat and higher acidity compared to regular milk. Okay, okay. Um which is why like it's so important that people say when you're frying chicken, put it in buttermilk so the enzymes can get into the meat.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

Yeah, yeah, because that the acid in there. Buttermilk you can do chicken in. Pickle juice you can do chicken in. You could do it in water with like a little bit of lemon juice. Just any any acid like that will be fine.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

Wait, if you do pickle juice, is it gonna make it pickle chicken?

SPEAKER_02 4:23

Dude, well, first of all, you wouldn't know this, but Chick-fil-A marinates their chicken in pickle juice, and like their which is basically flavored vinegar. Yeah, that's true, and it's gas. I recently I had uh a friend of mine give me a jar of pickles, and he was like, Here, uh, have this as a present for a big event that you had recently, which was making biscuits and gravy. He was he was talking, yeah, I was about to gotta and I said, uh, oh, thank you. You know, where were these from? And he's like, Oh, they're they're homemade. I was like, Oh, you made pickles? He was like, No, no, it was like this um like my grandfather, like grandfather-in-law, some some some older family character.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Second cousin, twice removed type shit. Yeah, what's that actually mean? I don't know. What twice removed? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

It has to do with your position on the family chart.

SPEAKER_00 5:21

Dude, my position is liberal.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

Okay, let me all right here.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

Cameron, I need you to know that what you just said is nothing. All right, Glenn. It has to do with shut shut shut up. How it has to do with your relation to the party. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:39

Assume you have a child and one of your siblings has a child.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Those children are each other's cousin. Right? Correct. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

Now, your child compared to any of your um relatives, like brother. Your your um This is excellent comment.

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Compared to your cousin, your child compared to your cousin is a cousin once removed. Your child compared to your parents' cousins are twice removed. Okay. You see, like it it's like cousins.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

Being removed from the family tree. No, no, that's that's RAB type shit. I just want to say that's the second type shit mentioned in this episode already. It's been was that the other one? What did I say?

SPEAKER_02 6:46

We should gaslight you and say it was.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

No, it was last.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

Uh wait, I had oh no, the pickle thing, right? So I he gave me these pickles. They are these homemade pickles. They're really good pickles. I would they're in a mason jar because he made them at home, and I said, Oh, do you want me to, you know, return the mason jar when I finish the pickles? And he was like, Oh no, he just fell down a flight of stairs and he'll never walk again. I was like, Jesus Christ. Thanks for the pickles.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

Like, dude, you got Gary's last batch of pickles.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

I guess. It was just a crazy like he didn't even phase, like it was nothing.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

Dude, Gary's silly dillies are going out of business now. He can't do it anymore.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

Alright, now we've woven this thread. Watch me pull it tight. All right. I used these pickles, took the pickle juice, made chicken sandwiches. Sure. I made these chicken sandwiches as a dinner for myself and my fiance. Whoa, fiance! Because the big event recently was that I proposed and she said yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Dude, Cameron girlfriend deniers have a brand new uh conspiracy theory. I'm so glad that it was on was it on the pod or was it just episode one? It was episode one where you dropped the news and Wes and I went, uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

Yeah, because you were like, by the way, my totally real girlfriend.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Yeah, like that.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

Random it like a normal person. So it only took me 13 episodes to lock it down.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

My girlfriend from a different school. He who is last shall be first, and he who is first shall be last.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Yeah, what's your uh what's your wedding date, by the way? December 12th, 1212, 26. When's yours? Dumbass. February 27th, 2027. And I just want to say, I had previously made a joke about Cameron being the last of the game, first of the finish line. And when he told us he was engaged, I asked him, how much did that statement play a role in you deciding the date of the wedding? And he said, not a small amount.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

I mean, it's I think it's so sick that I'm getting married. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Yeah. Very happy for you both. Yeah, I'm happy for me, man. Yeah, and you guys put a lot of responsibility on me because I'm your best man. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

But let me I'll I think I've Glenn, did I ask you to be best man yet?

SPEAKER_00 9:26

Okay, what you did was you went hey, be my man type shit. Third time. Verbatim.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

Okay, what you said. Both of you will be my best men. What if I say no? Two of them. You can't. You don't have the minerals. Damn.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

My sodium bicarbonate.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

No, you make his ass in the oven. Uh yeah, no. So y'all, if you're interested in being best men, you are my best men.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Crazy to wait to actually properly ask us on the pod. Yeah, I really didn't a month now. Whatn't planned? Because be my man type shit. My first gut reaction was, yeah, this is probably uh this is probably uh best man type shit. And uh then later I was like questioning myself. I was like, does he mean groomsman type shit? Or best man type shit, you know? So okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

When Kristen and I had we had locked down the venue, and it's like, okay, now we have that, so we need to figure out guest list for catering stuff, which means figuring out exactly like who all's in the bridal party and family and like and everything, right? So we settled on we each have 11 people. So that is psychotic. Any any trash talking that I did about big wedding party, forget about it. Because I understand how.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

And Mason had 13. Oh, and that's just inordinately more than your 12. We kept our zins on us, though, so it's all straight.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Uh okay, so the the way that it goes is like, you know, I say, okay, I've got six, right? Whatever. And then she'd be like, mm, well, but if I was gonna do six, I'd have to do eight, because uh the one person I'd add oh is it. Well, but then she well, then she says that, and I'm like, ooh, but eight, eight doesn't work for me. I would have to do nine because then one more person I would add would have to be a pair of people. Like, okay, well, if you, you know, and it just builds like that. Eleven is the perfect number that we came to.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

So eleven is a very good number. Not for a wedding, but just as a number, it's pretty great.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

I love it on the multiplication table. It was real easy to memorize.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

It is hype that there will be 25, potentially 27 people up there because I know that there's like she's got a junior bridesmaid, which I don't know if she what now? Bridesmaid that's too young to be a bridesmaid, a junior bridesmaid. They have I have no idea if that means that there's 12.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

Wait, can we end the bird for meaning? Let's get a uh let's get a senior flower girl in there. And this is Mildred.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Um I don't oh, right, okay, so we we figure out who our our wedding party is gonna be. And Kristen's putting together all of these boxes with like cute packing material and handwritten notes and handcrafted like sunglasses with pearl bedazzlement and purses with a custom embroidered letter. It's like it just so much stuff, and she's like, I'm hand delivering these to all of my all of my bridesmaids.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

Dude, you're not getting shit like that from me. Why not? Y'all y'all are getting a thing. You you will get a thing. No, then a pair of things.

SPEAKER_03 13:18

The thing is what'd I tell you? Socks. Nah no, I didn't tell you. Oh, out the window. Those, uh yeah, you can keep the socks, but the socks are that's actually I guess there's three things.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

Not including the pair is a pair, but it doesn't matter because I'm not talking about any of them now, so I can't it's not an interesting interesting. Uh the thing is, when like that's how she asked people to be her bridesmaids.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

The way that I asked all of my groomsmen, called them on the phone, said, Hey, you want to be you were like, you literally were like, be my man, and we're like, what the fuck are you talking about? Be your man.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

Say groomsman type shit. And then I added them all to a Discord server called groomsman type shit.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

Nine.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

Nine.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

Nine type shit so far.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

Well, that's that's not fair. That's a part of the that's that's in the story. That's not fair. It's in the definition. It's not flavor I added. I'm quoting it, I'm quoting it.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Um, yeah, so I there's a little bit of a I've been so behind. I texted Colin and Mason today to ask them. And they both went, yeah. That's it. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I was like, oh, before I make a Grimson group chat, I should probably ask them first.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Dude, I do I kind of feel bad for immediately dunking on the group chat you made by putting in a picture that's completely unhelpful and starting a train of that.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

My uh the one other person in there you guys don't know is currently in El Salvador, and I kind of feel bad for her. She's on vacation. Tell her to deporte it. I figured. Tell her to get Rago Garcia, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Is he still there? Uh what is it? Papoosa. I think that's I think it's papusa, right?

SPEAKER_00 15:15

The food? We're coming up with new names for it now, huh?

SPEAKER_01 15:17

I think papusa is the El Salvadorian three white right pronounced foreign words.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

Or shoot mid or here we fucking go.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

Just a glimpse into how Chinese he's becoming. How joon?

SPEAKER_02 15:33

Wait, what is it? How how zhongbu.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

Wait, you should ask the chat the question you asked me the other day. Dude, I wish I if I knew it off rip, that'd be sick, but I was reading. You don't know it off rip?

SPEAKER_01 15:48

Oh, it was so long. Uh you member every country, but not the geopolitical state of Israel and China.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Okay. To tell that story, talk about what we did the other day.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

Oh, yeah, we were real busy for 12 hours of our live cramming for uh our friends. Uh one of our friends hosted a show match of the game League of Legends between his friend group and our friend group, which he's the bridge sort of between. Um, Cameron and I were the casters. Glenn was a player. Um, and it was a lot of fun. We had a good time. There's no VOD, you can't watch it. Uh you had to be there. Fly high. You had to be there.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

If you know, you know, and no one else knows. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

Um, but it's a lot of fun. It was funny, like, pull in like 20 viewers for most of it as well.

SPEAKER_02 16:42

Really? I guess. I mean, if everyone in the event was tuned in but had it muted. I don't know. I didn't look at the viewership, I have no idea. And I there's no way to now. So uh no, it was so sick, actually. Um, I really hate that y'all didn't get to see the actual like casting bit of it during the game and see like the production stuff that we were doing to like yeah, try to make it cool and and you know, be engaged with Chad and whatever we could do. But uh it was awesome. Uh it was a really, really cool experience. I think I learned a lot about production and like how to actually put on stuff like that. So I'm really looking forward to doing another one.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Yeah, that was like find a different platform. I gotta find a different platform to do it on. It was so rough on Discord.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

Yeah, that was like one of my first like tournament type experiences, and it was super fun. Yeah, yeah, and uh we won, baby. That is true. Hashtag the seedlings take all.

SPEAKER_02 17:45

It was it was two teams, it was the barnyard and the seedlings, and the host of the event, Orange, he was in the barnyard. Uh he and his team won the first game. And it I mean it was pretty close. Like the it could have gone either way, uh just depends on like what champions you have, what whatever. So by the end, game decided. But uh they won the first game, seedlings came back, back-to-back wins, and the third game, it was like stomp. It was crazy. I mean, it's kind of mad. Yeah, it's hard to commentate. Yeah, four aces is crazy. Four complete squad wipes. Uh it's hard to commentate a stomp like that because you don't want to be, you're not trying to be biased. Well, and you're not trying to like make anybody look terrible. Right. So we we kept saying stuff like um, you know, oh, they've got an advantage now, but you never know in a game like this. You know, sometimes you see uh crazy comebacks at the end, you know, if they focus really good on defense and objectives, maybe they can pull something out here, and then it would just be the next team fight was an eight. Just like, ah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

Right. But I did think it was really cool because there was like between so there's five people per team, right? So ten people total. Across the ten people, there was like a huge variety in the amount of games played and time invested in the game, so like all different ranks, all different skill sets, etc. Um, and it I feel like it shook out to be like pretty even, yeah, team-wise, because game two was like it was a closer yeah, game two could have gone either way.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Game one and game two both were like the same, they could have gone either way, it just happened to go the way it did for whatever reason. Yeah, game three wasn't close, and I think that that was mostly um champion advantage.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Champion advantage and Barnyard lost a lot of steam after the first couple of like important losses, like losing environment objectives, yeah, stuff like that. And then they just lost a lot of steam. And by the way, uh Orange was pointing out to me post the game that Rob was such a high level that nobody on Barnyard could physically hurt him. Oh, yeah, not much of an advantage, yeah. Just no shot that they were gonna come back. They got snowballed a little bit too hard, and then it was curtains. Yeah. But I will say watching watching your friends play is a lot of fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

Um, so you know, we did it with uh League of Legends, but we've been doing like we've been talking about doing with other games and other formats, but still having it be kind of like the event production being put on and streaming it, and this time recording it to make YouTube videos.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

I I'd really do hope that we follow through on that stuff and do some more events because I think we've we have enough hype drummed up to want to, even if it's like just for our sakes, like it was a ton of fun, I feel like for everybody.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

I agree. And I don't know, I I feel like for our group, it's really easy to say, like, okay, we can have a Friday or a Saturday, as long as you know a week ahead, like that could be fun we can schedule around. I have no idea about the other friend group, so what they're like.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Yeah, the impression I got was that the multiple of them are like on not fixed schedules. Like it's one of those where it's like, okay, I'm finding out this week what days I'm working on.

SPEAKER_02 21:13

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Which that makes it hard.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Yeah. Um okay, so here's the thing. We haven't done an episode in so long that we have a lot of like catch-up stuff to do. We have a topics channel where we put in stuff to talk about. We've been doing this for you know a month without recording one. So we have a lot of backlog stuff. I want to do one backlog thing that goes back to New Year's. Jesus. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

What is that?

SPEAKER_02 21:47

That's a a lot of ticket. Oh, that was okay. So here's the thing.

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Are those even still valid? Uh surely they don't expire, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:58

Yeah, they do.

SPEAKER_03 22:01

Surely they do expire. No, no, no, no. There's nothing on here. So it would say it on the front.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

No, not. It's okay. What? Cameron did not pass his perception check and did not notice that there was fine print.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

There's not. There's not even fine print. It's medium print. It's like 12 point. Okay, so we're here anyway. Here's the thing. Each one of you have one of these. So I'm gonna scratch them and I'm gonna tell you if you win a million bucks.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

Oh boy, word.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

Like, oh that's a loss.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

We'll oh, can we pick which scratcher we get?

SPEAKER_02 22:45

Like, can you have them both up and then uh yeah, and if you disagree, like if you both want the same one, then you can I don't have a I'm gonna use an easter egg to scratch.

SPEAKER_03 22:57

Dude, use your tooth.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

Alright, Jimi Hendrix. Here are your two scratchers. I I'll say the only difference between these two, one is actually there's three of them. You could choose between the three. One of these is Christians.

SPEAKER_03 23:12

Uh you can have 12, 14, or 15. You can pick up. I want 15. Perfect.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

Okay.

unknown 23:21

That's great.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

Okay. So the way you do scratchers is the first thing you do, there they have like Wait, I want 15. Okay, you can have 12.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

I'm at 12.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

The way it works, there's like the line that has the numbers you want to hit, and then the grid of numbers where you check to see if you've got any of the numbers you want to hit. The first thing you do is you check the numbers you want to hit. I've never done a scratch off. This is so hard to do with a plastic egg. I have to go, I'll be back. I have to get metal to entertain the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

What what do you how much do you how much money do you if you were gonna make money, how much would you make? Yeah, do you think how how many money are you gonna get? Yeah, this is the same vein as if your bank account was your phone number, how much money would you have? If you had the same amount of dollars as your social security number, how many dollars would you have? That's a lot, that's a lot of numbers. Hold on, that would be like the 10 10 millions? Uh three two. Three, two, four. Yeah, three, two, okay, so it is nine. So wait. So that's ten. Ten, right? No, no, that's nine. Um, and so that's that oh, that's hundred millions, okay. So how many hundreds of millions would you get if you uh if you had the same amount of dollars as your social security number? Fun fact, I can look up where you were born, the state you were born, dude. I hit a flow state in the middle while you were gone, Cameron.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Have you ever had a have you ever had a dream where all right, you could do anything.

SPEAKER_02 25:15

Wes, you're up first as 12 is the number closest to one.

SPEAKER_03 25:23

Glenn, you're up first.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

Good to know you know how to count.

SPEAKER_02 25:30

The numbers that you want to hit are 23, 28, uh-huh, 45, and 46. Dude, this is just like in lost.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

Can you pan down?

SPEAKER_02 25:41

Oh, like 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. No, I will not be panning down. I can show it. Show us your penis. There you go. There's your numbers. So I'm gonna scratch them. See, and I'll call them out as I scratch them so you know what's going on.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

37, 38, 12. Okay, I'm not doing that. 24. You just cheer on every single one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 41. 20. 42.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

Earthquake hitting the ground in Mississippi.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

35, 26, 27, 50. Spreading. 44, 39, 45!

SPEAKER_03 26:32

Wait. Look.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

You want this 45. Yeah. And there it is, 45.

SPEAKER_03 26:45

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

So now you you have a winner, which is awesome. Uh now I scratch the money amount, and we'll see what you won. The match any of your numbers to any of the four serial numbers to win the prize shown for that number. Get jumbo and win five times the prize.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

I don't think you have jumbo. Surely jumbo is hitting all of the numbers. Maybe.

SPEAKER_02 27:14

I don't know. Right. Who might say? Alright. The amount of money that you have won is a ticket. Oh. Ticket means you would get another one for free. That's the very one's gonna be the million millions one. Surely. So I get to uh send that back to Rob. Rob, I'll I'll send you the details for this. Well, you think me sending the podcast the details for this has caused a problem?

SPEAKER_01 27:46

I thought you had to turn in the actual podcast.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

Oh, you do. That is true. Uh well, sometime I'll give them to US because you're in Tennessee, so you can catch these. I can't do them here. It's mistake. Congratulations on a win. That's exciting.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

Yippee. Welly. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I might buy more. I love Rogers, actually.

SPEAKER_02 28:11

16, 33, 40, and 43. 12, 37, 24, 38, 45, 14, 29, 31, 11, 30. 18, 41, 28, 26, 42.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

Nice. No, if you get none, that means you get the jumbo. That's true. And I get to wipe my ass on the ticket. If you get none of them, you get the jumbo lose, and then you have to give them all of your money. What can I write them a check for $93?

SPEAKER_02 29:02

Alright, well, that is finally wrapping up the lotto tickets that I've had sitting on my desk for months.

SPEAKER_03 29:13

Enjoy, Rob.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

How the like serrated part of a butter knife, how good do you think that would be for exfoliating?

SPEAKER_02 29:22

Genuinely, just found out it's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 29:24

Like, this feels cool. I'm wondering like I'm gonna hit my heel with that and see if I can grind it down, make it a normal size.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

I'm not gonna lie, it's not doing nothing. It's not as good as the cheese grater, but dude, I love the cheese grater.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

It's disgusting, but I do love it. It's horrible, but man, my heels are smaller.

SPEAKER_02 29:52

I did recently go for a pedicure. It was the first time I'd ever gotten the old dogs checked out. And I loved it. I had a great time. It felt so good.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

I I believe I would have a good time. This is where you get that Mandarin from, ain't it?

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Shaolong Bao. You're gonna walk in and they're gonna be like, we're from Vietnam. We speak English.

SPEAKER_02 30:22

So whenever I was there, they were speaking Mandarin, which I do know because they did say Shaolong Bao, which is Chinese food.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

It doesn't mean Chinese food, it's literally the they could be speaking it any other language then and just be referring to the Chinese food. Nah, it wouldn't happen. Because then it would have been like Yo amo me.

SPEAKER_02 30:49

Me Gusta Shaolang Mao. Like it would have been so obvious that they were switching to it. Yo amo me? I do. I love me. Yes. I was gonna say yo amo some kind of food, and then it just didn't happen.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

Dude, you know what yo amo? Yo amo scaring my fiance. And so I do this uh semi-regularly. I'm a I'm a bit of a chatterbox when I'm asleep. Um, I do some puffin' and puffin as well as blowing the house down. Do you wait, do you're a sleep talker? I do sometimes, yeah. Like talk talk or like mutter. Both. But anyway, I scared the shit out of Rachel the other night because uh apparently I was like rustling around, and then she like thought I was awake and was kind of like listening, and then I went and she thought I was gonna like dying or something. And uh there have been times where I've like muttered something and she goes, What?

SPEAKER_01 31:56

And I go roll over the mouth, dude. That would piss me off so badly.

SPEAKER_02 32:06

Like is just a mischievous guy, I think, in general, and loves just being that little hot teey gremlin.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

The fact that you're doing that in your sleep unconsciously is so awesome. I think that is just my purest self. Like hearing about that when I wake up is so exciting to me every single time. There was also there was also one night where uh Rachel like nudged me because I was snoring and she went, you're snoring. And I went, you know, no, you're snoring. We went back and forth a couple of times.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

I do I know that I like sometimes I'll s not snore, but like what's the thing where like you don't breathe? Yes, sometimes I will apnea and I will like and wake up.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

Dude, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 33:03

I don't think I snore until then. I think I just like breathe. Is it snoring what causes it? Well, I think it's because I'm not breathing. Maybe it's some stuffed up nose, but like I don't fight through it.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

I just don't I think I think the the stopping breathing is what sleep nap apnea is, like not because of snoring or anything. Right.

SPEAKER_02 33:24

And I I I think it is most commonly when I'm trying to sleep on my back. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

That tracks. I thought it was the apt I thought like people because like sleep apnea, I don't know like a lot about it, but I do know that like heavier people when they sleep on their back, like it's not I'm not saying this is but like their chest is so heavy on their lungs that it their lungs struggle to expand to the full volume while you're asleep. Uh genuinely. No, that's so you genuinely slowly asphyxiate, but then your body's like, whoa, we gotta wake up! We don't have oxygen in our blood, and then you're back to life.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

Uh that makes sense because of how much milk I drink, and my bones are so strong and heavy and dense that it would weigh down my lungs.

SPEAKER_00 34:16

You could even call them dead weight.

SPEAKER_02 34:20

But would I would I? I was thinking about B and G recently. It's biscuits and gravy. Right. It's biscuit. To make a biscuit, you put flour. Put butter. Yeah, you wouldn't know. Yeah, I wouldn't have flour. It's a wheat product. Uh it's flour, butter, and then milk. Right? Gravy is butter, then flour, then milk. These two things taste different. And you take one and you put it on the other, and I think it's crazy. It's just it's literally bread dipped in liquid bread, and then you drink milk also on top of it. I don't know, man. I don't know. How does it all taste different?

SPEAKER_03 35:08

I know it all makes me stronger, but how does it all taste different? I have a question.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

Why is B and G being mentioned so much in this episode? Because I just ate it. Dude, this I feel the exact same in my body and soul as when Mason talks about pipes. And I need you to know that.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

That's soul.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

I'll never talk about it again. I'm exaggerating a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

Cameron, when you make your biscuits, do you freeze your butter and then grate it into the flour?

SPEAKER_02 35:45

I did recently for this recipe, I chose to grate the butter without freezing, and that worked fine. I didn't think it was necessary to freeze the butter. Uh because it's still, as long as you're going straight into the flour, it it works the same. But I truly, the best biscuits I've ever made was just cutting it in with a two knives.

SPEAKER_04 36:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

It was this recipe here that it was the first one that I'd heard say freeze the butter. And I'm like, I'm not freezing it, but I'll try the grating. And of course the biscuits turned out like trash, but I don't think that was the fault of the grating.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

That's so weird. Dude, I am itching to talk about my bike ride today. I would love to hear about your bike ride today. Okay, so first off, I'm proud of myself for doing 26 miles fasted and with no music. Um that's casual marathon. How are you awake? Have you eaten since then? Yes, I I have I've eaten, taken vitamins, and then taken caffeine. Okay. Um like a little bit of caffeine. But anyway, okay. I was worried I was gonna be bored on this ride. Um, but no, that was not the case. So there's a couple of characters I want to mention who I encountered on my journey. Um, so I will be honest, when I started, I was like looking straight up at the wall, and I was like, it felt like shit. I was tired, I slept poorly, and I was like really regretting eating a bunch of carbs, like bad carbs. Like I could have had rice, but I had a whole pizza and uh a lesson learned. But anyway, what got me through that wall? I'm riding my bike on the right side of this trail. There's a there's an Indian gentleman helmet on on a bike, comes and normally like when you're doing activity and like somebody's like coming this way, you give them a smile, and you usually share the same like this sucks, but I love it smile. Yeah, with each other. This this man on this bike, he's like super happy to see me. Like, he hasn't seen me for 25 years, and I'm his son, and he's just like so energetic and happy. And I'm like, okay, that boom, wall blow. Like, how can you be upset watching that? I was like, okay, my whole mood like elevated, and then I keep going. So then I encounter the second character. This dude, okay, ball cap, sunglasses, okay, no shirt, little sling bag, like trunks, yeah, barefoot. I feel like I see that guy every day. Okay. So immediately from the way he's walking, I'm like, this guy's high. I can like he's he's walking like he's trying not to look high. And I like smile at him as I pass, and he looks at me like this.

SPEAKER_00 38:31

Dude, he knows something you don't.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

I keep going, and I passed him originally, like so. Like I, you know, I pass him, say on your left, whatever. And then on the trail, it goes over a river. And so, anyway, I get to the end of my trail, come back. He's soaking wet now, like dripping walking. Same thing happens again. Um it's the same look. So, okay, so I turn off onto a different trail because I realized the distance I originally intended to go was not accurate, and I had to add more miles to reach my goal. You want to see that fucking guy again? So I cut off. Oh, just wait, we do see him again. Um, so I cut off onto this other trail um that's adjacent. It's like they connected the two. This trail is so cool, by the way. You're on like elevated concrete riding through the forest, you go over a wolf river a bunch, it's super dumb. Um, I was like, this is awesome. And so I turn on this trail and I hear on your left, and then I get I'm already like going at a pretty decent pace. I get fucking dusted by an ancient man in full chartreuse on the on a cycle. And I mean, his pace doesn't drop at all. He's going like double my speed, weaving in and out through this trail uphill, and I disappears from view. I don't see him again. So I follow this trail for a little while. I get to like a trailhead, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go ahead and turn around here uh because this will definitely like get my goal. And I haven't eaten, I don't know where I am. I didn't plan to come out here, so I need to like come back with roots in my mind. So I turn around, go back. This motherfucker completed the loop that I didn't do and passes me again. Dude, he's on the track mania grindset, still like just fucking flying, and he's like on your left, and I'm like, I'm feeling like Falcon and Captain America, and I'm just like, I so he says that again, and I'm like, I say out loud, I'm like, dude, you're a beast, and you know, he's just like riding his bike, he's in head, he just goes, dude, that guy's so cool. Awesome. I wish I could beat him. I was like, I see my future and it is bright. So then I'm on my way back to the original trail I was on to go home or to get back to the car. And lo and fucking behold, this guy tripping on LSP, yeah, is walking down again. And I'm trying to realize his face is just permalocked like this. And I'm like, I'm trying to nod, and he's just like, there's nobody home.

SPEAKER_00 41:08

Like ready for a camera at any time. That dude stays moging.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

Oh my god, it was so funny. Oh, and I gotta say, I I saved a oh, I didn't save a turtle, but I did help a turtle cross the cross the track. That's how yeah. An eastern box turtle, they're really pretty. Um, I it aggravates me to no end. A trail is normally like wingspan, right? It's like not very big. Yeah, so it blows my mind, a very popular trail where I live, and it's like, I'm gonna get a stroller and my whole family, and we're gonna walk three wide down this trail and never move. Oh and then I'm like on your left, and it's like we're cutting it fucking close. And I'm not even going fast. I slow down, trying to be respectful. No, it's it's so awful. And it's like, do you guys not have courtesy anymore? It's like responsibility.

SPEAKER_02 42:04

Let me ask. Presumably they were walking, were they walking the did they see you or were you behind them?

SPEAKER_01 42:10

It both cases. So there's been like uh from behind, I understand. Yeah, I would say like those people, you know, that you'll be looking people in the eye and they will get over at the last second. Or when you're behind them and you give them like I give like a what 20, 30 foot warning verbally before I come close to them so that they know that I'm there. Yeah, right. It's always this reaction. Whoa! And I'm like, hey, you had ample warning, I'm not a quiet person.

SPEAKER_02 42:43

Do you have a bell?

SPEAKER_01 42:45

Oh no, but I might get one.

SPEAKER_02 42:47

Yeah, I wonder, because like I feel like the bike bell is one of the most like it cuts through a lot and it is so recognizable that is a bicycle, and it is right behind me.

SPEAKER_01 42:57

Yeah, so and another interesting thing. I didn't really think about this at all, but this the trail I ride takes you right by a prison, like right by a jail, county jail. Help them out. Okay. Um take my bike. This was something I found remarkable. The entire time I'm riding this, the only time I smelled drugs was by the prison. And I'm like, what are they doing in there? How can they get it in there?

SPEAKER_02 43:27

Like, I mean, you know, if you're already in, might as well. As far as like how to get him in, it's gotta be like prison wallet. That's what I'm thinking. I because I doubt that they're doing the whole like I baked a cake for an inmate. Oh, yeah, yeah. Never mind that it's a hotel where they're yeah. Yeah, I feel like uh a lot of butt drugs.

SPEAKER_01 43:53

Yeah. Super dope. I it's uh I love in case. Encountering like those random encounters that you just have when you go out in the wild and do stuff with just total people you'll never see again, but they're you're gonna remember them for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_02 44:11

I had two uh two pleasant encounters today. When I was making biscuits and gravy, and I realized that I didn't have any milk. I found okay, well, I have to go to the store to pick up some milk. So I go to Kroger, go inside, and I'm shopping around, and I get my milk and stuff, but it's like okay, while I'm here, might as well get other stuff. And so I'm going down the aisle to get uh these uh y'all know like the Boston Market frozen meals. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:41

Oh, I mean, I thought you meant like Boston Market the food is like brick and mortar food establishment, because that's also but I guess they have a line of frozen stuff. Yeah, maybe it's the same brand. I I'm not sure. Like Wendy's makes canned chili now. Yeah, their chili's gas. It's so good. It's not uncommon for people to just dump that in the crock pot and then take it to a chili comp.

SPEAKER_02 45:00

Like it's fucking we do chili day every year at work. Last year or the year before, someone did the Wendy's chili, and it was like second place. Like it was beloved. Um no, uh, so I'm I'm walking down that aisle. The same aisle that has the frozen meals for one is the same aisle that has beer. And as I was walking down, there was a guy who was sitting there, like really like looking at this like studious, hella studious. And I walk past him and I see what he's looking at, and it's like, oh, there's a pilsner there though. Like, oh excuse me, man. I I really just cut right in front of him, grab it, and I'm just that that was gonna be the end of the interaction. And he was like, Hey bro, what you know about a dark IPA? And I have never heard those words put together in that order, because I don't know that dark is like a classification of IPA that exists at a store, like like as like a flavor profile, like oh like that's a dark one, like Guinness, but you but you wouldn't call Guinness like a dark lager, you know what I mean? Like it's yeah, it is what it is, and then whatever, right? So he's like, What do you know about a dark IPA? And I'm like, why? What even for? He's like, Well, my my wife really needs a a dark IPA, and so I'm like, okay, look, man, I I don't think that's a thing, but what I can tell you, you know, like this brand, that brand, that brand, like these are good, they're great IPAs. I think literally just talking about color. I think that one's the darkest. Go nuts. And that's uh I think that's gonna be it. I see him later in the store.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

Oh, okay. And then that was it. Oh. That's funny. I really appreciate the uh the research and the polling he was doing to try and get his wife like what she wanted. Yeah. I I think I think that's actually sweet. I agree. That's funny to go about it that way, though.

SPEAKER_02 47:10

And he trusted my opinion too, because I the the one that I grabbed in front of him was for a local brewery around here called Fertile Grounds. Uh, I picked up their pilsners because I really like it. Uh, one of the ones that I recommended to him was another one by the same company. And uh I didn't actually see what he picked up because he was still standing there kind of like looking at it and thinking about it. But later, he actually ended up being behind me in line, and I just like kind of caught a cheeky glance, and he picked up the other fertile grounds one. So, like he really believed in my opinion. Right. Um my second interaction has to do with the Boston market meals for one, frozen meals. Alright, yeah, yeah. I was buying some, and the cashier was like, Hey, bro, you like those more than the banquet meals? And I said, Yes. That was it.

SPEAKER_00 48:00

Dude, that's so sick. Did you see them later in the store?

SPEAKER_02 48:04

Yeah, they worked there. Wait, wait, that was the checkout experience, and then I left. You didn't circle back, didn't go back. I did uh in my mind, I envisioned a scenario in which he asked, and I'm not kidding. This is not a bit for the podcast. I this is true. I got home and I was envisioning a scenario where he was like, What are you doing? And I was gonna be like, Oh, I'm going home to make biscuits and gravy. And then he was like, Damn, I could go for biscuits and gravy. And then I was like, I'll bring you some biscuits and gravy to Kroger. You just wanted to cook for somebody. I don't know why. I had this genuinely, I thought, like, oh man, and that would have been so cool. I'd have made that guy's day bringing him biscuits and gravy, and then I made bad biscuits, and I would have been ashamed to bring him to him, but you know, you could have ruined his day by bringing him biscuits and gravy though.

SPEAKER_00 48:57

In my fantasy, I made really good biscuits. I uh I heard you had a uh run-in with between your butthole and your pants.

SPEAKER_01 49:12

I was really hoping we wouldn't talk about it because I don't want to talk about it anymore. I want to hear about it, bro. No, you don't. It's like there's no story here, it's just an event. Yeah, I get home, I sit down, I'm like, I kind of got a fart. It's not. It's wet, it's hot, and it's running. And speaking of, I start running to the bathroom and I immediately throw, okay, get butt naked in the kitchen, throw my clothes in the washer, and then haul ass and shit to the shower. And then your dad just sees a blur as you blitz past his room. Oh, thank God he wasn't home. Uh yeah, and then so I'm like, nothing feels wrong until this moment that I this happens, and then it's like then your stomach's like, okay, yeah, we're actually surprised, bitch. And then I'm like, okay, you know, maybe it's just a one thing, maybe I had a bit of dodgy food, right? Yeah, this plagues me uh for the next like couple of days where it's just like stomach bug, you feel fine, but you know that if you what feels like it's about to happen might not happen, yeah. And every time you try to trust it, you're wrong. Traitorous. This is funny.

SPEAKER_02 50:24

I was just talking to my picklebow friends like a couple of weeks ago about how everybody at some point has shit themselves. And if anybody says that they have not, and we're talking about like not as a kid. Like as a grown up, yeah. As a grown up, everybody at some point has shit themselves, and if they say that they have not, they are genuinely lying because everybody's done. Swear everyone's done.

SPEAKER_01 50:42

Yeah, it's like um what our Mason's dad used to say there are two types of people in the world people who masturbate and liars.

SPEAKER_02 50:52

Yeah, that's about right.

SPEAKER_01 50:54

That guy needs a platform. I don't think he does.

SPEAKER_02 50:57

I disagree, I hard disagree.

SPEAKER_01 51:00

Good thing all these platforms are free online, and he could just go to one if you wanted. Yeah, his wild oats meaning his opinions on the internet. I do what he's gotta be on Facebook posted stuff, right?

SPEAKER_02 51:11

I don't think he is. No, I'm not on there. I don't know. I when genuinely is it just Instagram now? Is that or are people still using X?

SPEAKER_00 51:22

Yeah. I mean, if you're a porn bot, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:27

So like for the most of the stuff, it's all Instagram now, right? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 51:31

Glenn, Glenn is the biggest klutz on the planet. Dude, I got my arms are too long for my body and my leg, my I have too much limb.

SPEAKER_02 51:40

For anybody who thinks that was a jump cut, it wasn't. Glenn just smashed his fingers silently in his desk in his chair. Oh. Uh right. Okay, sorry. Anyway, so I it's all Instagram, right?

SPEAKER_01 51:55

I mean, yeah, yeah. I think honestly, I believe it's all just one big circle. So, like, I think everything gets reposted to everywhere the same day, and I think that it genuinely doesn't matter. Like, I don't think it's all Instagram. I mean, that might have the most traffic, but there's like everybody's using everything nowadays. So it okay. And by the way, like Meta, I don't know, like I can't remember their umbrella off the top of my head of what they have their fingers in.

SPEAKER_00 52:25

They do and Instagram and Facebook and so I mean it's the same soup wherever you go, it's just reheated. And even if it's not verbatim, it's the same trash. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, consume content.

SPEAKER_02 52:43

Get off the internet.

SPEAKER_00 52:44

Except ours, except ours, download it and then get off the internet, and then come back and I don't know, probably.

SPEAKER_01 52:51

Download the next one. I'm super happy you brought this up because I've just been noticing a lot. Like, uh, the only uh actually, oh I I'm on Reddit just because the it's actually like a fast way to get local happenings and other um things. So, but it's like if you there's still some subreddits that like you automatically are subscribed to whenever you make an account that are like to me, it's just like okay, and I this is gonna sound like really whack, but like there's a subreddit called 2x chromosomes for women to post about like you know the struggles, you know, sisterly bonding womanhood together. Great, all for that. But that subreddit is just like a man looked at me in the gym, and I could tell he was about to do some bad things to me. And then everybody in the comments is like, oh my gosh, call the police, shoot him dead, hang him, kill him. He's a dirty piece of shit. And I'm like, hey, this is just an echo chamber based on something that somebody could have posted that you have no idea if it actually happened, and it's people just love to parrot the same shit to each other. Yeah, oh, it's so aggravate. It is on on all sides. Like there would just be yeah, and like you can go anywhere, it's not just that community, like it's everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 54:09

Yeah, yeah, it just media has become so hyper specialized to cater to exactly what you want and what your interests are, right? And so you will usually find yourself in a place with people that just agree with you.

SPEAKER_01 54:24

Yeah, because why would you spend your time somewhere where there you know there's discourse happening?

SPEAKER_02 54:30

I have I think an ahead of its time controversial opinion. Hot A. I think the internet is doing bad stuff to people.

SPEAKER_00 54:44

Fuck, it's genius, dude, and no one's talking about it either.

SPEAKER_02 54:49

Weird that no one's talking about it, but normalized talking about it. I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_01 54:54

Something seems off these. Well, yeah, it's it's almost like humans were definitely designed to sit on their ass all day looking at a screen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:04

I feel like um aside from like online gaming or you know being in a thing like Discord just to be able to talk to people that don't live here, for the most part, like I I've been really trying to just get off the internet as much as I can. Because it it's just and I I've never really been a social media guy, so it's not really that big of a change.

SPEAKER_01 55:25

But just in general, like I think it's so funny because like we are the outliers, right? Because I don't know about you, Glenn. I think you're still pretty uh are you you are acting like you're probably more active than all of us.

SPEAKER_00 55:37

Yeah, I'm fairly plugged in, but a lot of it is an effort to stay like informed, yeah, which I'll say is just debilitating.

SPEAKER_01 55:47

Yeah, because what you're staying informed on new shooting, people died, bombs dropping, world's ending. Yeah, it's it's macro dosing misery.

SPEAKER_02 55:59

If there's some news I really need to know, someone's gonna be knocking on my door to tell me so it's I hear the sirens, yeah. It'll be alright.

SPEAKER_01 56:10

Well, yeah, it just makes me think of that like somebody who's like, this is a model of what humans are gonna look like in what, like 40 years or whatever, and it's like it looks like Minecraft Steve. It literally looks like the people from Wally, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:24

Which I just I don't see that being the case. Yeah, it's like it no, it's actually just like the infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters over infinite time produce all the work of Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_01 56:39

This is how I would describe the product. Wait, what do you mean though they don't? They don't, they won't do it. You think your feeble brain can understand infinity?

SPEAKER_02 56:46

I think I can. And I think here's what's gonna happen: you have infinite monkeys, and they're just typing randomly. They're never produced in Shakespeare. They're gonna hit A a bunch and then throw shit at each other. They're not like I understand the idea of this like the infinity thing, like eventually everything will happen or whatever kind of thing. But I think whenever you talk about that particular example, infinite monkeys, infinite typewriters produce all the work of Shakespeare. No, because they're gonna throw random letters in. There's gonna be an infinite number of versions of that are close, maybe, but they're never doing it, they're just never doing it, and that's I stand by that.

SPEAKER_00 57:22

I disagree. Because the thing that jumps to mind is our Bitcoin episode where you have a ton of uh formulas running to determine the next hash. And essentially all languages is just a string of letters, you know? And there's since there's a finite number of letters, there's a finite number of combinations. Um and even though it's obviously a lot grander scale than figuring out a hash than Bitcoin. I mean, we're we are talking about infinity. So there's gonna be the ones that throw shit, and there's gonna be the ones that get their their money up.

SPEAKER_01 58:08

Yeah, there's gonna be like the bathing ape ones, and there's gonna be like the lazy one, the lazy ape ones working, and they're not gonna work too hard.

SPEAKER_02 58:16

And there's gonna be 20% of the apes are writing 80% of a Shakespeare. That's funny. Uh but like okay, but but but in that in that hash example, you're not working towards a specific thing, you're working towards creating a string of numbers that matches the guidelines for what can be considered a valid hash. You're not looking for a specific number. The thing with the monkeys, what they will do is they will produce an infinite amount of poetry, I'm sure. Some of it will be good, some of it will be derivative. They will do this, and they'll maybe they'll say some phrases that are from Shakespeare. But I'm saying to produce specifically all of the works of Shakespeare, kind of a monkey's gonna do the same thing forever. I don't think a monkey is gonna be like, well, let me try a new combination of stuff. How do you know that? Because it's a monkey, but it's an infinite amount of monkeys, girls!

SPEAKER_00 59:11

Infinite amount of monkeys. I mean, you put the stupidest person on the planet in a room. I think guy does it. Who?

SPEAKER_02 59:21

I'm in a room. Like, I think if you have infinite humans, yeah. If you have infinite humans at infinite typewriters, and they don't have to know Shakespeare, but I'm saying humans would look at that task differently. They have infinite time writing on a typewriter. They would they would do they would do other stuff. I don't think a monkey would. I don't think he's got I don't think he's got it in him.

SPEAKER_00 59:41

Do you think they I mean, I don't even think they need to have the capacity to learn.

SPEAKER_01 59:46

If they like like You sound like one of the elites talking about the youth of today.

unknown 59:52

Like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 59:54

So following this hypothetical of their typing on infinite typewriters, if we're excusing the fact, like in infinity, there will be an infinite number that will be typing on the typewriters, not just throwing shit and stuff. So we have to just dismiss the whole they're kind of like it.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:10

Yeah, fair enough, fair enough.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:11

Um, how I don't understand how you can rationalize that they will come up with other works of poetry, some of which is derivative, and some of which is I just thought that was really funny to say and like as a critique of their poetry.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:28

Uh it's not quite Shakespeare. I'm talking about randomness because I think if you had infinite monkeys holding an infinite number of bowls of bouncy balls and dropping that on typewriter, that would probably produce Shakespeare eventually. But the thing about monkey is that it's not perfectly like random typing on stuff. Monkeys are so dumb, they are not gonna sit there and like type out they're gonna not typing Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:59

You know what I mean? Here, okay. I want to add something to this that is not like this is more philosophical than it is logical. Okay. I want to believe they'll do it because it would be dope if they did it. Like, I there is a small possibility, and I get what you're saying, right? Yeah, yeah, because monkey's gonna be bang, bang, bang, bang. It's not even gonna, it's just gonna like and fucking start falling.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:26

But they don't do it, they don't know the thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:28

I want their I want it to, I want it to happen, and there's a small chance it can happen, and I like the desire, like it could happen. You can't deny that it happened. Is the idea so is it borderline impossible? Absolutely. And according to Google AI, the pinnacle of knowledge and wisdom, the infinite monkey theorem suggests that monkeys typing randomly for an infinite amount of time could produce Shakespeare. New research confirms it is practically impossible. First question what research? You don't have access to infinite monkeys.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:56

Wait, yeah, one monkey given 10 years. My primary source for everything agrees with me. Okay, I had I had a brain blast. So to say that monkeys would not produce the work of Shakespeare in given infinite time and infinite monkeys, that if you flip it around, the only way they could what are they building typewriters now? Yeah, yeah. The only way they could infinitely, like over the course of infinity, avoid typing the works of Shakespeare is by knowing the works of Shakespeare and intentionally avoiding it.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:34

No, no, no, no. Okay, hold on, hold on. Let me let me ask one one clarifying question because this would change how I feel about it. Is the idea that every key pressed by every monkey is like is every key pressed by every monkey understood sequentially across all monkeys, such that monkey 10 presses F, monkey a hundred million presses O, and then monkey one presses R, and they did it at like the exact amount of time that okay, we got an UF and an O and an R, and that was the order in which those were typed across those monkeys. We have the word four, and that is one word of all of Shakespeare's work. Or are we suggesting that one monkey goes on a generational run? And solo dolo focuses up the whole trillion chance to write the whole works of one monkey. That's what we're talking about. Well, presumably infinite monkeys. The I if the idea of the theory is infinite monkeys would do it once, presumably infinite monkeys would do it in an infinite amount of time.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:46

So here, the probability problem, a 2024 study by the Sydney based by Sydney-based researchers determined the time it would take to replicate Shakespeare by the monkeys is longer than the lifespan of our universe.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:02

Oh well, yeah, but it's infinite. It's still within the bounds of infinity. Yeah, right. We're also devolving into a semantics argument.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:10

This is just funny because it's really annoying because it's gonna make Cameron sound super sound in argument. Experimental reality. In 2003, researchers gave a computer to six monkeys. They mostly typed the letter S and then destroyed the people.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:32

Dude, that's awesome. Yeah, you're right. Damn. Indisputable evidence, empirical evidence that six monkeys can never produce the work of Shakespeare. What about seven though? Has anyone tried seven?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:53

I'm just saying that's seven monkeys are thinker. And by the way, my Google search was can monkeys write poetry.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:03

Uh no, I I do understand like what they're getting at by infinity and randomness. And if it was actually random, I wouldn't have a problem with saying yes. It's the fact that it's monkeys that I have a problem with. I I don't think any monkey is locking in long enough to randomly press like they'll they'll throw a fist in there on the keyboard, and then there's no combination of letters that a fist on the keyboard will produce that is a word, and it's certainly not in the works of Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:29

Okay, so first of all, if we're gonna step into the semantics semantics aspect of this, uh huh, I do think by saying produce the works of Shakespeare, it means as a collective, they would do that. So there's not just one guy going on a generational run.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:42

Um I would I I don't know if they wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:45

I would love to see it though.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:46

Yeah, we could split it up between like letters or whatever. It's like some combination forms the works of Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:52

Um, and obviously that's a much higher probability than one guy going on a run.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:56

Yeah. Um, and that I do believe that they would do.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:00

Yeah. But if I to say that monkeys would do it with less probability than sheer randomness, how can you like how does that how is that an argument but like a monkey's arbitrary decision making is somehow less random than random in my mind? Yeah. Yes. Because that also implies intent.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:26

Let me let me steel man the monkey typewriter argument. And just zoom out and talk about infinity. Yeah, if you have infinite monkeys, right? And infinite monkeys look at the keyboard and infinite monkeys press a key. Infinite monkeys will decide to smash the keyboard. Infinite monkeys will not decide to smash the keyboard.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:44

And if you keep following that train of logic for every letter, you counterpoint. No, they won't. Dude, and you're right.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:53

They're just not doing it. So anyway, I think um I think we all agree that they're not doing it, and that is where we are ending today's episode.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:06

Episode 14. When the monkeys rise up, we will be on their side.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:11

Caesar from Planet of the Apes. I'm gonna look at Caesar and go, I believe you could do it. Rise of the Planet of Shakespeare. It's shall I compare thee?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:23

We were almost there. We almost had it.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:26

We almost had the entirety of the works of Shakespeare, but you fucked up your run.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:30

Imagine being the guy that has to just watch for an infinite amount of time and finally clock. They did it! They they got it.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:38

The PB tracker. That's purgatory. That is actually the place you wait while you perform sentence to hell.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:45

I'd sooner be at Purgatory.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:47

Uh well, anyway, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening to or watching. We love our audio listeners. Mountains Don't Like Baseball Podcast. Recent sponsor of an event that doesn't exist anywhere on the internet. But we do have ads. Don't look for it. We do have ads. That is true. We do have ads. And we're gonna roll them. We're gonna roll them. Not right now, but you know, they'll be on the YouTube channel. Go go watch ads for fun.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:15

That's what everyone loves doing. Alright. Bye. Bye.