Robot P***y Ft. DeLaw

Dinner plans, testosterone, and the future of sex toys we talk about it all as we 
 reminisce about the dial-up internet era, job applications, and Black Planet.

Transcript

Dinner Plans and TV Spoilers

Speaker 1 0:00

I told you I'd do some strengths and change for her. I put some hot sauce on her toes, look at them off a little bit.

Speaker 2 0:09

I ain't doing no hot sauce I don't need anything that's going on fucking. Maybe some mumbo sauce Nah well, sweet and sour. Maybe I don't need nothing that's going to be causing fucking problems for me. Or acid reflux Go acid reflux and shit like that, because I'm a guy like an old man right now. I don't know.

Speaker 1 0:29

You know it to me how you owe.

Speaker 2 0:32

I mean, I don't shit like acid reflux is fucking with me. So I'm old, I'm a little old, I am.

Speaker 1 0:40

I guess I am fucking old.

Speaker 2 0:46

Everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the important of us podcast, where I am fucking old and after Valentine's Day. Yeah, always we got a deal on here.

Speaker 1 1:01

Yeah, you got a deal on here and I finally hit the sweet spot on the mic.

Speaker 2 1:07

He's been saying this joke this is the third time, but it's first time getting it off on the podcast as we're recording. Hey, sweet spot on the mic. Hey, you know what? Hopefully, never mind, hopefully, everybody is listening out there. You know, she found a sweet spot on your mic, maybe.

Speaker 1 1:29

I don't know.

Speaker 2 1:30

No, I don't want to know. I'm just hoping that you know. Whoever it is, they found a sweet spot on your mic. They're Mike. No comment.

Speaker 1 1:40

Yeah, please don't. I'm only here, so I don't get fined. Pretty much, yeah, first I'm trying to figure out what we're going to eat for dinner. I want to take her out somewhere.

Speaker 2 1:58

I wanted to do that and I'm not. So right now we've got beef and you know it was crazy. She's out and shopping and shit my wife, so chances are she's going to eat without me. I had crushed the whole cauliflower pizza earlier today and some got some beef and broccoli in the crock pot.

Speaker 1 2:16

So I'm going to go with a cauliflower pizza.

Speaker 2 2:19

It's just a. It's not bread, it's called. I don't know how to do it, but I don't want to.

Speaker 1 2:26

So, okay.

Speaker 2 2:28

So when you get caught, yeah, when you hear that, you're probably thinking like yo, it's just nothing but cauliflower. But no, that is not the case. Somehow they make the dough, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 2:41

They have the cauliflower crust, my pizza.

Speaker 2 2:45

Yeah, right, couldn't tell the difference. Right, fuck that pizza.

Speaker 1 2:50

Fuck that pizza. Can you taste the difference?

Speaker 2 2:53

No, I cannot tell the difference. I fucked that pizza up. I love pizzas. I've been looking for a way to like continue to eat pizza.

Speaker 1 3:01

That with the vegan cheese. Yeah, pizza today, then With cauliflower. Now I'm trying to wait on you.

Speaker 2 3:12

I'm trying to wait for you. I know you're as recorded. I want to talk about myself. She ain't just she ain't just.

Speaker 1 3:19

She need to see what's happening.

Speaker 2 3:21

She need to see what's happening and we can't watch while we're doing this Cause. Then we're here the whole episode Exactly.

Speaker 1 3:30

She knew what she was. She came in the house like I'm going to make sure this nigga be like damn, I got a cold, I got a cold, I got a cold, I got a cold, I got a cold. Damn, I got a cold.

Speaker 2 3:43

I got a cold.

Speaker 1 3:44

Yes, he died on the show, yeah.

Speaker 2 3:47

They said it was like a bus accident. Yeah, all right, so I'm going to have to bleep all that out, but yeah.

Speaker 1 3:54

Just make sure you put in the very beginning, there are some spoilers. For something that we not even I mean, I mean I mean for all 200,. You know, listeners we got right now. Oh, you know. You know, I've been watching. I've been watching Wu Tang, you know.

Speaker 2 4:16

I have not watched the single episode of that. I've been watching it.

Speaker 1 4:20

The wife been watching um new Amsterdam. What is new Amsterdam? Again? The little hospitals, jane.

Speaker 2 4:28

I'm not watching that. It was like ER or something like that. Yeah, nah, I'm good it's out of those shows. I haven't watched BNM people, but I hear that shit like that. Yeah, we've been pushing or P value or P value having watched none of that shit, either P value or P value. Oh, I don't know, I don't watch it.

Speaker 1 4:57

So you're saying you're going to watch BNM without me? Is that what you're saying? Oh my Lord.

Speaker 2 5:05

She's saying get off your jokes fast, Get you record for an hour times. That's all you got. She's going now she came in, already she came in.

Speaker 1 5:14

She's like. I know he's going to be recording. That means I can sit up, because you know we used to record on Sunday.

Speaker 2 5:24

So, true, true, true.

Speaker 1 5:27

It's all good, she just going. She's going to wake up tomorrow and be like so you know, I need to rewatch BMS to make me try to feel special.

Speaker 2 5:36

We can rewatch tonight.

Speaker 1 5:38

Where you want to get food from. We want to get food from. So pretty much, you're eating dinner tonight. Got it All right? Watch the show until you finish recording. Oh my Lord, oh you and me, I'm going to want to watch the show and eat some good food.

Speaker 2 5:54

So she's fucking up. You know I can get us to stay here Dinner from somewhere.

Speaker 1 6:00

you know I'm saying I ain't saying, I know, now we sound rich. Now we sound rich Speaking of rich mind. Well, first of all, our pizza.

Speaker 2 6:12

Internet Explorer, well, but Internet Explorer, hey, they, they, they, they going away with it, they going away with it.

Speaker 1 6:21

Wow, yes, so hey, you know.

Speaker 2 6:22

I'm going to watch the show tonight. They're going away with it. Yes, so edge all the way RP to Internet Explorer. I used to watch porn on you via dial up. You got me through college and helped me fill out job applications, except for the time where I had to fill one off a family dollar up the street from my mom's house and I sold his BBW with no bra on. I also went through a line of 15 people wrong. Oh, that's true. I salute you. You got me through some of the hardest times.

Speaker 1 7:02

I mean, I guess it is what. I guess it is what it is.

Speaker 2 7:07

Yeah, my nephew ain't going to know what the fuck Internet Explorer is. I'm like do you know what I had to deal with? Repairs and shit like that? Yeah, when I was trying to update my black planet, we black people had their own social media website. Not like this.

Speaker 1 7:34

Everybody was on there, man, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 7:39

It was a joint for a brief moment I don't know if it's still around, but the joint called the cookout and you got to answer some questions to be a part of the black and social media situation.

Speaker 1 7:52

Is it like that episode of Atlanta where, in order to get the scholarship, you had to answer the questions from that guy that's dead now? What's his name? Kevin?

Speaker 2 8:00

Sam.

Speaker 1 8:01

Kevin Sam. No, it was something.

Speaker 2 8:04

So kind of because I tried it and I must have answered something wrong, because I didn't understand it. And the thing said based off your answers to these questions, you are not black enough. No, it's a, you are dusty, wow. And it said try. It said something, something, something. I forget what it said after that because they called me dusty.

Speaker 1 8:25

I was like man fuck that place.

Speaker 2 8:26

I was like, fuck, that, I can't get it.

Speaker 1 8:28

I can't get it. I was like fuck it.

Speaker 2 8:29

Because I'm dusty. I was like, I was like fuck it. I'm like fuck it, I'm not on social media like that. Anyway, I just wanted to try that shit out. Right, right, right, ben you my experience, bring back black planet. I keep saying shit like that. I want that shit still.

Speaker 1 8:47

Not bringing back black planet.

Speaker 2 8:49

I'm about her. You know what Fuck that? Let's see if I'm not having even typed this URL in before in like years, but I'm not.

Speaker 1 8:55

I haven't typed that URL in since I was in fucking 10th grade. Let's see. Yes, I was right when my space was taken over the world is yours.

Speaker 2 9:06

Black planet signed up. Join black planet today.

Speaker 1 9:10

I should see if I hit login.

Speaker 2 9:12

I don't have a.

Speaker 1 9:13

I can see if my login is still active. I tell you like this.

Speaker 2 9:19

I tell you like this it don't look crazy. And they got to act.

Speaker 1 9:23

Wow, so I guess black planet is coming back. I might have to get back on that. Motherfucker, you've been on black planet, right, it's not. Black planet was when I was in college. That was the shit. And yeah, I never opened up a page.

Speaker 2 9:38

I'm signing up right now. What about a mask bucket, fuck it.

Speaker 1 9:43

Just Facebook.

Speaker 2 9:48

I just hit to it. Oh shit, what's my photo?

Speaker 1 9:55

Black planet used to be the place back in the book. I guess for you was college meal, was like 10th grade, so it was like oh, this is now.

Speaker 2 10:05

I am not giving my real name.

Speaker 1 10:10

You know the trust. Well, I like, I like black planet. It was cool. Thanks for going I just I didn't have enough time or interest in it.

Speaker 2 10:25

I barely got an interest for Instagram and all another shit.

Speaker 1 10:28

I only got on it because the girl I was dating at the time was like you should get on it, and so I got on it. That's how I got on.

Speaker 2 10:35

Facebook.

Speaker 1 10:36

Yeah, I was really like not trying to get on Facebook and Somebody was like, look, I'm going to set you up an account and then I'd stay. I was like, well, I'm already here now.

Speaker 2 10:52

White space is not allowed. What? Oh? Okay, yeah, they gonna send me a verification code up. This shit might be legit. What Black Planet, don't do this shit to me. What they say you dusty? Nah, for some reason I'll need the typing in the damn code. And what am I Hold on? Okay, boom, I must have the brain lapse or something. Putting typing five numbers Weird.

Speaker 1 11:31

Why that's doing this thing.

Discussion on Bidets and Valentine's Day

Speaker 2 11:33

Speaking of fucking rich, we were talking about winning the lottery before Valentine's Day and shit like that. I ain't put up a day on there. I need to be rich. I don't need to be rich to have a good day. But I think once I get that money, it will make a. It will give me a reason to actually install one. Yeah, I, and then you know me, dan me came across this article about reasons why. But day is good for your ass. How the fuck is the code wrong? Just recent to goddamn email the fuck Black Planet, which I don't know me. What are y'all doing to me? You all triggered me by making me talk about something I ain't wanna talk about.

Speaker 1 12:23

It's not my fault. They called you Dusty.

Speaker 2 12:26

They fucking did call me Dusty. Yo, I can't create an account.

Speaker 1 12:29

You gotta tell me when I'm from Ashley to Clancy, to the long time ago.

Speaker 2 12:33

I cannot create an account. What the fuck am I missing here? Enter below to verify your email. I verified the bitch.

Speaker 1 12:49

I ain't gonna hold you. I kinda do wanna stake now I do too. I mean it might be going to Outback.

Speaker 2 12:58

I ain't gonna say stake, but you know, I fucked this experiment. I do this shit later, even if I might not even want to just fuck it. It's not gonna go through now. Then I am holding out of this shit, ben you. I was looking at the shit Top 5 Reasons, or the Benefits of a Day. One of the motherfuckers said Protect your prostate. I was like I know they fucking lie. Then it was like oh, it won't cure prostate cancer, but it will keep bacteria out of there. I'm like huh. I was like but I didn't get that part. I'm like yo. Basically they were saying we'll protect from prostitutes and shit like that.

Speaker 1 13:41

Prostitutes. Yeah, that's your prostate.

Speaker 2 13:46

Because I thought, if a day was only supposed to be like a squirt word on your butthole and then you know you wipe dry shit. Now is it going all that stuff inside there Like a super so good. Like how's that? I don't know How's that work Like, would it be? Like, oh, now my prostate's good. Like, come on now.

Speaker 1 14:07

Were they saying you got squirt. What did you ask to keep your prostate from inflating?

Speaker 2 14:11

Listen it says. The International Journal of Antimarch Antimarch, my bio agent, says in a study that using a bidet can safeguard you from prostate infection.

Speaker 2 14:24

I don't know what I'm a stream of water from the bidet leads to a deeper cleaning that will help reduce infection risk. So my whole thing is and I'm not, and I could be ignorant in this, in this statement that I want to make as long as you, as you ain't tearing asshole tissue or asked tissue, then you shouldn't have that problem. But I can see who might have that problem. Or if you got hemorrhoids, I guess I don't know.

Speaker 2 14:55

Yeah, hemorrhoids Any go. Yeah, yeah, day, all day. But yeah, protect your prostate, treat uncomfortable conditions. Hemorrhoids Now get relief from jock itch and I'm like yo. Can you aim that nozzle to squirt on your balls Like what's going on?

Speaker 1 15:18

I don't know. I don't even know what a bidet is. I'm just nodding my head like I know what you're talking about.

Speaker 2 15:24

So in a very lame and stern, there's a pipe, there's a nozzle. Water comes out of water so it goes through. Pipe shoots out a nozzle onto your butt.

Speaker 1 15:40

Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 15:45

Now no fancy joints what I'm expensive joints. Water, just shoot out the damn bowl Super soga style, so you get a.

Speaker 1 15:53

So pretty much it's a thing that super soaks water into your ass. Got it? Yes, all right, so that's a bidet, yeah.

Speaker 2 16:03

So that's what I should have said. So if I have one, the lottery, I'm going to get a bidet, but the bidet has like six functions, but they all for my wife and not for me. Yeah, all right. So let me get this. Just to warm it, just to warm it up. There's massage for the, the love button that she Massage. No, I don't fucking know.

Speaker 1 16:32

So my Valentine's was pretty good, so you know I went ahead, we went, we went and got some food from this time place. You know they have some candles lit for us and everything, but I think it was for everyone that was there anyway.

Speaker 2 16:47

You said for y'all like yeah, I was VIP and shit, this miss walkthrough. I had on my Versace house coat because I ain't feel like changing. I had the slippers on because I ain't like changing.

Speaker 1 17:00

I was like I'm just going to get some of that. And then we just came home and chill, you know. Watch some TV, you know, have some drinks, you know, you know. You know puff, puff pass, you know, keep the shit rocking. I got you. You know we do what we do. I got you.

Speaker 2 17:16

I was just chill like that too. We ain't got no restaurant but we ate, Well shit. Crazy thing is she had made lamb and shit like that. But that day was so crazy for me I worked at Right. I ate a kind of eight leaps, so it was just kind of like I mean, you know, I wasn't hungry, so she cooked, she ate a little bit. We watched something and I don't remember what it was.

Speaker 1 17:42

Yeah, and this was the same day that I found out that Abbott Elementary had came back on. Came back for two more episodes because I thought they had went out for the season.

Speaker 1 17:51

Yeah, okay, I thought they were out for the rest of the season because because they didn't put no episodes up for like a couple weeks, so I was like I guess they done, but then they did episode 14 and 15. Okay so, yeah, so I watched, we watched those two. Well, we watched the first one and then we watched the other one, like today. So that was been, I've been.

Speaker 2 18:19

I have not been watching any of the Abbott episodes, so I need to get back on that.

Speaker 1 18:26

I've been elementary. That episode was kind of funny. I ain't gonna go over there, but I'm not going to tell you what happened, please don't. I won't spoil it for you, please don't. Yeah, we did that. Um, lay in the bed. Lay in the bed. Yeah, keep it. I got you. I ain't do no tricks.

Speaker 2 18:50

My wrist was hurting so I couldn't do any special tricks, but your wrist was hurting, so no backhand springs, I got you Go back Hand springs.

Speaker 1 19:02

No backhand yeah.

Speaker 2 19:07

That should sound all cool when people be saying shit like that. But how the fuck are you doing a backhand spring on the dick, Like how do you do that? And just gently slide yourself down on that shit as a woman, Because I've heard dumb shit like that before, Like all this weird and possible shit that they say they could do or they done and it's this and that I'm like what I find it's fine. Sometimes they're like oh yeah, I do this stuff right now and I do this and that.

Speaker 2 19:34

This play shit is real, because I've had that done.

Speaker 1 19:37

I'm saying like they say they do it, and when it's time to put them, in the play oh yeah, that.

Speaker 2 19:42

I'm not in the mood to do all that, but you never in the mood to do yeah, you never in the mood to do all that. So I'm just more inclined to think that you don't know how to do it, right.

Speaker 1 19:52

Or that you just can't do it on the, you can't do that on the dick.

Speaker 2 19:57

She can't do it at all. I'm going to say that that's. That's what that sounds like. She can't do it at all.

Speaker 1 20:06

But I do change it. You can't do it what it did. You can't do it like that, what it did.

Speaker 2 20:12

Oh, they say they had us out of. What is that shit called?

Speaker 1 20:17

I'm used to yeah, I still fuck him like I used to.

Speaker 2 20:22

I'm trying to think of the God damn it. I know there was a new Orleans for that shit, but I'm trying to think of the fucking original song. Is that the term of my time? I know it's juvenile. No, it's not. It's not. You know, big time is right what it's the original song.

Speaker 1 20:43

Oh what. You see, I believe, so which one Do not?

Speaker 2 20:49

show. I think it was big time. Yeah, no, it's many fresh. Yeah, I don't know the many fresh Still putting in work on the NPC.

Speaker 1 21:02

Man. He first is many fresh. Is that guy man?

Speaker 2 21:05

Many fresh boy boy bounce to the, to the masses and take back that as of this, forever A classic.

Speaker 1 21:15

Yeah.

Speaker 2 21:15

Everybody talk about you now, but let's talk about the guy that fucking created the goddamn song I mean the instrumental for that and he motherfucking fresh.

Speaker 1 21:26

Man, he first had a decent verse in that. I ain't gonna hold you.

Speaker 2 21:30

He had. I'm not gonna say he had the best verse, but I feel that kind of lonely. I feel, like whenever, when that part came everybody.

Speaker 1 21:42

Everybody knew many fresh is very. Because you couldn't understand what you were saying.

Speaker 2 21:46

I understood what you were saying. It was real simple. But when that part came on, that's when girls started working the hardest.

Speaker 1 21:52

They started working the hardest on that wall. Why you on there? You gonna get some burn down here, yeah.

Speaker 2 22:01

Oh, my fucking cash money. Yo, if I go back in time I want to relive the cash money years, Really.

Speaker 1 22:10

They were so years.

Speaker 2 22:11

Yeah, as a youth and I'm just mainly talking about the school dances, all the back, that ass of school dances and middle school, all that shit. Matter of fact, fuck reliving the cash money years. I want to go back to each time I was in the club and back that. Oh, my childhood.

Speaker 1 22:42

Casemoney, taking over for the nine to the 2000.

Speaker 2 22:46

Fuck, yeah, fuck, yeah. Yeah. Man, valentine's Day was chill, after Valentine's Day was chill, and then we show I ain't really like I told you before, I was able to cash in points and I was not a head over the head as far as what I had to provide to show my love this one day of the year, even though I show it every day of the year.

Speaker 1 23:13

And you know, you know that don't matter to them, Don't shit matter.

Speaker 2 23:17

It's like I need to feel every other bitch is feeling special. I need to feel special too and I'm like motherfucker you got. You was for this special yesterday to do for yesterday, last month, when your birthday. Why this day? Because the bitches can't feel better. That's how I see it, Nah. That's how I see it.

Speaker 1 23:35

She give you more than just pussy.

Speaker 2 23:39

I mean, yeah, I got a gift.

Speaker 1 23:42

Yeah, other than pussy, yeah, I feel okay, I'm making sure I got to my wife. I said it's a fair exchange out here, like if you can, if you can just get pussy for balance, I think I can just give the man, that's what the work I ain't about.

Speaker 2 24:01

Against all that shit. I'm out again, so that's it. Yo listen, remember we was talking about you and alcohol and shit and a white who was like you was like you act like a baby and I was like do you act? Bitch pretty. And she said she ain't say yeah, but she was kind of a little new year. Yeah, I came across this article that say males go through menopause.

Speaker 1 24:31

Males don't go through no damn menopause.

Speaker 2 24:32

So it's not called menopause, it's probably called woman pause. I mean it is called menopause but it's called a angiopause and I didn't know this. And it's a natural transition and when testosterone levels gradually decrease in older men.

Speaker 1 24:48

Increase or increase.

Speaker 2 24:50

Why would it increase? Come on.

Speaker 1 24:52

I'm just hoping I can continue to increase my testosterone.

Speaker 2 24:54

I already told, listen, I told all the homies I'm like yo when that maybe at 40 on the, on the dot, I am starting to take testosterone, fuck all that, there's no way, there's no way.

Speaker 1 25:06

But basically you know, see more than before I heard that I take it that should be having me revved up.

Speaker 2 25:19

No, I get that so, but naturally it's just going to. It's going to decrease anyway. Right, you is not going to, might not decrease by as much. Why are you taking a CMOS and shit like that? But that's what your body is supposed to do Supposed to naturally decrease.

Speaker 1 25:34

So first my body conspires to kill me, then conspires to make sure I never have sex again.

Speaker 2 25:39

Oh shit is that? That's it. So basically, when I was reading this article was more or less like saying like sometimes that shit leads to basically leads to like marital issues like anger anxiety and yeah, I'm angry because my testosterone alone, my sex drive, is low but you don't know why you're testosterone and I mean you don't.

Speaker 2 26:00

You don't know why. That's long story short. That's just scary, that's just scary, that's just scary. This is the take care of me fucking year, so I'm already looking at it. I ain't looking into it now, but I got a ways, ways to go. But shit that's on the motherfucking list. The boy start or your boy hit 40 testosterone all the way, getting into some type of not therapy, but just make sure that shit stays at a level right, whatever level that is. I don't really know too much about it, but that is my fucking plan. I don't want to be video here.

Speaker 1 26:41

That's why I've been trying to work out and hopefully the blood flow will keep my testosterone up and all that lifted and losing weight Maybe, but I guess it's going is another inevitable but it's going to is just, it's going to still go lose it.

Speaker 2 26:56

Yeah, you still go lose it. So it's kind of like an even to lift weights.

Speaker 1 27:00

It's just kind of like doing this for nothing.

Speaker 2 27:02

You ain't doing it for nothing. Get them levels up and figure out a plan with you and your doctor and that's the reason why you see so many fit fucking 50 year olds or the men or whatever like they be jacked and I'm like how the fuck, because that's not natural.

Speaker 1 27:20

Oh, so they're taking testosterone pills.

Sexual Health and Practices Discussion

Speaker 2 27:21

Yes, and most of them take another stuff. You think the rock is not taking testosterone and other things. You think he's naturally doing that. I was hoping he was. No, there's no fucking way. He's huge. You think all he's doing is taking in protein and lifting weights. That's all you think, you know, and maybe some creatine. Okay, and that's all you think you know Like, well, fuck it, I'm definitely taking that shit. That's just like a like why not? If it's going to have, if I'm going to have a better quality of life, why?

Speaker 1 28:00

not take that shit.

Speaker 2 28:03

Yeah, Now steroids is where I stop it. I'm like I don't mind doing that, but yeah that's awesome. Oh, fuck yeah.

Speaker 1 28:10

Somebody just said that creatine, the new creatine starting to have testosterone booster in it.

Speaker 2 28:18

I the rock ain't taking just that. Come on now.

Speaker 1 28:21

Hey look the rocks I don't need.

Speaker 2 28:26

Yo, listen, I don't think he just taking the street testosterone. I think it's some asiation. That motherfucker, it's a bunch of other shit. There's no way. Maybe, maybe not, I know maybe. There's no fucking way. Listen, the LeBron could spend $2 million on his body and he a basketball player in the rock making millions of dollars. A movie you tell me Probably got a team of doctors working on him.

Speaker 1 28:53

Yeah, because I was looking at some old videos of the rock and how small he was and looking at so how he get bigger as he get older.

Speaker 2 28:59

I thought I'm getting that you don't get bigger as you get older.

Speaker 1 29:03

Oh man.

Speaker 2 29:05

Huge and I'm not hating, I'm just saying I want to not be on the rock status when I'm at that age. I look crazy working my nine to five, that huge and you can't sit at my desk and shit Like I'm not doing that. But Right, Fuck that Testosterone all the fucking way. So yeah, I'm not gonna say that. So, speaking of testosterone, right, One of my homies was like oh, if you don't have sexes off, then that a bullshit testosterone to us. A you know, fuck out of here.

Speaker 2 29:52

That's a damn lie I was like get the fuck out of here. He was like nah, it's called semen retention. I was like no it needs to come out.

Speaker 1 30:01

It needs to come out because that's semen. That's old semen. You need fresh semen.

Speaker 2 30:08

I was like. I was like yo, fuck out of here. He was like nah, if you just he's like. They said not mass. He was like not being me or you know fucking your girl not coming. I'm like not coming, like I'm not going to knock. He was like what are you saying right now? Like we had this whole debate.

Speaker 2 30:27

He's my fuck even told me one time he was like yo, that's why they tell you not to get. This is a whole nother story, his ass. That's why they tell you not to give blood right after you have sex because of come is blood. And I was like no, the fuck is not. That was his words. I said come is made out of you know, I guess from blood or some shit like that.

Speaker 2 30:48

But he was adamant that cum was blood. That's why the doctors tell you not to when you give blood. It shouldn't be right after sex. I said no, they tell you that just because your blood has a fucking STD in it. They don't want you fucking giving blood Blood. I was like that's why the same motherfucker semen retention and some more shit. I'm like dog, not retaining anything. It's a deluded just no way, no way. I don't even see how. It was a crazy argument, because I don't even see how retaining something if testosterone is there, if testosterone is there to help build your semen and shit like that and to give you the sex drive out more of it.

Speaker 1 31:37

You know, even you're not boosting it, you know dog.

Speaker 2 31:40

I've tried that where I was just like what is the word? So I tried a different way of pregame one time, right where I would like I would like wash some porn and I'm like, yeah, be no, but I don't finish what, listen, no, in another day. I'm gonna tell you why. In another day, because I'm petty, and I'm gonna tell you why.

Speaker 2 32:10

Okay, it starts off with this girl being very, very disrespectful with her skills, with her mouth and other things. So I was like you know what? I'm busing all over her face the next time I see her. So it was a lot of watching porn, not doing nothing, being off, not doing nothing for like two, three days. Next time I seen her, she threw up on me I did a good job. Yes, because it was a mouthful with dick and how to come. I was like yo, wow, yeah. And it was like a reverse break because it was kind of like God damn, you got so much out of me. But it was more or less like bitch, stop talking to me that way. So you tell me how the fuck is that increased, that it doesn't, like you said, doesn't increase in it.

Speaker 1 33:06

It increases how much semen coming out, but it's about it. Yeah, I mean, that's really just about it.

Speaker 2 33:14

Could you ever try to do that just for like self study? I don't know Like I did, like I was just trying to see if I can.

Speaker 1 33:24

I would never do that. My wife would allow me to do that because she's like, um, yeah, I need, I need, I need what. I can't fake it.

Speaker 2 33:39

I've never tried to fake anything a day in my goddamn life. It's impossible. I've been that lucky that every experience that I've had almost every experience that I've had has been a good experience, and even when it was a bad experience, I just had to think about another good experience. I know that sounds fucked up, but I supposedly women do it Well women.

Speaker 1 34:01

See, women can fake cause they don't have no projectile coming out. I can fake too. Yeah, I can fake too.

Speaker 2 34:09

The only thing you can't fake is head.

Speaker 1 34:12

Yeah, cause it's going straight.

Speaker 2 34:16

And if you're wearing a car, like I said to you before, if you're wearing a car and doing it, that ain't a motherfucker. You should be in your dick. Suck from it. If you think you have to do that, so that's just me.

Speaker 2 34:25

Yeah, that's the only time you can't fake this shit. And the other thing is like oh yeah, run to the bathroom, take the car Right. Oh man, somebody posted fucking Justin's juice, this movie, Black History Month, the first black man to gain national attention for line on white folks, and it's just this picture right here.

Speaker 1 34:52

Oh yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 34:55

He said don't white folk beat his ass, that's right, I almost forgot about this shit, and that's how forgettable it was. No, that's how stupid it was. Yeah, that's who. It was dumb as shit. Ah, damn, people were so gung-ho about it too. I was like, oh shit, ain't sounding right, but that's besides. I might get to that shit, but you think of some people. So, post-violence on the day, right, I've been hearing stories, not hearing stories, but you know, yeah, I've been hearing stories and stuff like oh yeah, man, I bought some toys in the bedroom with me and my husband and this, this and that. Well, he bought me this and we tried it out, maricopa.

Speaker 1 35:39

Maricopa of course.

Speaker 2 35:42

Right, right, right. Could you do that? Like yo, I want to play some 2K. I got you the rose, you know, and whenever I can, I don't know, I don't know if I could do that.

Speaker 1 35:58

I don't want her having more fun with that than me.

Speaker 2 36:05

Nah, I get that.

Speaker 1 36:06

It's one thing if she's just getting herself warmed up.

Speaker 2 36:11

She ain't listen. This is yeah, that's true, but I don't trust no woman to stop her just getting warmed up. Warmed up could be she busting off too before she gets to you and I don't like, I don't appreciate that. Me personally. I need all of them.

Speaker 1 36:28

Yeah, I mean, yeah, nah, nah, if she does it and I don't know, that's one thing. But me, if I, if I say, go ahead and bring this thing in so I can you know, play 2K then. But you know, if she was doing it and give me at the same time bye, play 2K.

Speaker 2 36:58

See, okay, I like where you're going. I like where you're going, I like where you're going, I like where you're going.

Speaker 1 37:06

Like I thought, I really thought about what I said, like I don't know.

Speaker 2 37:10

So okay, I can do that. Only because it's more or less like okay, I have done, never before I've done it too. The only thing I don't appreciate is when they get too into it and there's like, nah, it's just a big exactly Now, it's just a dick in their mouth and you like what are you doing? You start doing this like smack your dick in the mouth, like, like moving in the rush Like what are you doing?

Speaker 1 37:38

You're supposed to be doing what you're doing, and then it's just like, nah, she got stuck.

Speaker 2 37:44

And I'm like, come on, I've done that, I've done that. And in situations like that, that's why you tell your wife or your girl we like yo, can you please buy me? You say, you know, after that situation, after that session, the next day you say can you please buy me a banana cleaner or a quote unquote fruit cleaner? And she's gonna be like, yeah, give me out. She will be like, yeah, I get you that, send me the link. You send me the link and she thinks it's a fruit cleaner, banana cleaner.

Speaker 2 38:23

But it's really a pocket pussy. It's more than a pocket pussy, motherfucker. It is like a, it's like a robotic vagina. You actually stick that shit on the wall and fuck the wall. I'm gonna go ahead and send you a picture and then I'm gonna show you this video and just make sure Mrs Swift doesn't see it, because when you ask for this fucking banana cleaner, you buy a bunch of bananas. You like we, you know, I've found all the bananas just be dirty and I need to clean them. And uh, yeah, so let me share my screen. Let me share my screen, let's see, yeah, you got to show your screen.

Speaker 2 39:14

So this is the automatic banana cleaning tool for men.

Speaker 1 39:23

Wow, that is a banana cleaner.

Speaker 2 39:26

Yes, and when we go on to read the reviews, I'm gonna leave that name on the long ones. Let's take a look at these reviews.

Speaker 1 39:42

So is it really made for cleaning?

Speaker 2 39:45

Let's take a look at these reviews. Not enough power to clean the larger size bananas. Weak motor that was that was. That was February 15th. February 15th this year. Charge the item Until light turn blue, tries using it and quits 15 to 30 seconds into cleaning the banana. Would not recommend this product. Wow, these all guys.

Speaker 2 40:15

He's all guys was too tight and didn't have enough power to move back and forth. In my banana it's six and a half inches. My wife could still put her mouth on the tip of it. That's what he said on a fucking review on this website the motor is weak and will not move. It will probably say it's for safety, but it's useless. Don't listen to social media. This is a Chinese game Too noisy, not enough for movement. Feels good, but not good enough.

Speaker 1 40:52

So this line even he ain't even sugarcoated.

Speaker 2 40:56

I stuck my dick in it.

Speaker 1 40:57

It ain't work. He didn't disguise it like it was.

Speaker 2 41:05

Garbage for what it costs. I could have hired someone to clean my banana. I broke it, broke it broke. It broke after just five uses. The motor is built for power and size Seizes up too much. Too much resistance is applied. Some other guy just OK, not what's listed. Yeah, I'm waiting for girls.

Speaker 1 41:30

A woman to say doesn't clean bananas.

Speaker 2 41:32

Yeah, I'm waiting for none of the guys in this bitch thinking they did this shit.

Speaker 1 41:39

Hold up, oh my Wait, is someone putting a banana in it?

Speaker 2 41:45

Listen, hold up. You know what, you know how like I bet you they are. Let me see some. Look at this. Everybody out there.

Speaker 1 41:56

Extra one for a banana Banana cleaner. It's a Senator Ling for a banana cleaner.

Speaker 2 42:03

Hey, don't get the Chinese knockoff. I don't fucking know. The crazy thing is, this is the reason why it's always don't work. For guys it works when you're alone, but only women. Toy works when you're someone else.

Speaker 1 42:24

Yeah but yeah.

Speaker 2 42:24

I don't think they only, but they were working with someone else and they're right. God's ways don't, unless your girl eating butter. So I don't know. You know that shit, which I am not.

Speaker 1 42:35

Or it's been performing the toy with you, so you get no if you're picking that banana cleaner.

Speaker 2 42:40

What is she doing? Oh she's sucking on it. She's sucking on the tip.

Speaker 2 42:43

But that dude say it's like broke. What she was like was doing that. Yo, that's some mean, that that's a mean that I need to see the date on it. That might have been Valentine's Day. Right, man put his meat in there and his girl was sucking the tip. I might have to revisit this. I mean, that's just like yo remember back in the back of the day yeah, I must say back in the day, back in the day from me. I thought I was doing something. We would get that that vibrate and ring with the car. You know they came with the Trojan. I think Slatter bitch on, you never do that. No K, why you never do that.

Speaker 2 43:29

No, not the judge. You know it's like the vibrate ring, like put the condom on, Put the ring on.

Speaker 1 43:34

Someone wanted to try it, but never did and I wasn't too interested in trying it. So, but then, that's just stupid. Then with me and my wife got together, I was kind of interested in trying it, that shit was stupid to me.

Speaker 2 43:48

The one time I've tried it or two times I tried it I just ended up being a fucking, a life size, fucking vibrator. I'm like I can't even stroke the shit the way I want to. She's like nah, right there. I'm like bitch, I have to go off. I'm not doing this.

Speaker 1 44:06

So she gets the penetration and she gets the vibration but I'm like, you're not.

Speaker 2 44:10

I'm not, you're not, because she seized up on me. It was more or less like a chain.

Speaker 1 44:14

Don't move, don't move Right.

Speaker 2 44:18

And I'm like I'm not doing anything. So no, I'm not doing anything.

Speaker 1 44:25

Whole lot of self-loving going on after Valentine's Day, I suppose.

Speaker 2 44:28

Yo just send your, just send your wife to the legacy. What'd she say?

Speaker 1 44:33

She's going to look at me like I'm crazy.

Speaker 2 44:35

No, I mean you ain't got to say you like it, just for you wanted just send her to the legacy. She said right, I do that shit, I'm like go get it.

Speaker 1 44:46

Yeah, that's not a useful tool.

Speaker 2 44:48

Say that I'm like it's not what this is for. It looks like a whole useful tool, okay.

Speaker 1 44:58

So why do women not have to sugar cool with they got from with the sex toys, but ours is all well, I don't know.

Speaker 1 45:09

I did. Oh, I had to go down the fucking Eastern shores today. What? Drop off some stuff to a to today, dss, oh, that is a long ass drive. Yeah, two and a half hours one way, two and a half hours the other way, and your day was done. My day was done, shit, my day was done Like I like, after all that driving, sure, ain't no way I was coming back. And then he didn't want me to still work and my boss was like don't, don't even come back in the building, don't even tell us when you got back.

Speaker 2 45:58

Just go back, just go home and I'll see you on Tuesday, like because at that point it's just like I drove and then I'm just going to sit at the office for what Four more hours and then go to fuck home. Shit, that depends on when you actually started driving. You start driving as soon as you got there. You got to start driving, so I got to work.

Speaker 1 46:27

Yeah, as soon as I got the work started driving, we would have got down there at 11 o'clock but the dude was like, yeah, I need to stop and get a coffee real quick, right you know. But we were right down the street from where we were dropping it off at, stopping stuff off at, but he was like, yeah, I need to go to the bathroom and get me a coffee. So we had to stop and do that and then we got there, then we went to cook out the cook out on it.

Speaker 2 46:56

Oh, yeah, yeah. When the cook overrated.

Speaker 1 47:01

I'm not going to say it was overrated, but I'm going to say, for their prices, their portion sizes were their prices. What, what did you just say? Their portion sizes were their prices, pretty much so like.

Speaker 2 47:16

Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 47:17

You know how like they, everyone's like. Oh yeah, it's not expensive and everything. You got the Cajun fries inside, but you got like I guess I always assume they please like that, give you a lot of fries or whatever.

Speaker 2 47:30

No, it's like five guys, man. Five guys are just like if it getting the cup, it getting the cup, that's all it is. But I ain't never been to that spot, I never been to Houston.

Speaker 1 47:46

I was like this is my first time at Eastern shores too, like. And then the dude was like yeah, man, he's like the lorry, we, we, we, breaking you in a day. He's like we're breaking you in a day You're going to drive a whole trip. I was like what? What You're not even going to put the driving with me. He's like, nope, I'm here for support. I was like yo come on.

Speaker 2 48:12

Badder than me.

Speaker 1 48:14

He's like I'm just here. I'm here for support and backup in case you need me, but if you don't need me, you drive a D lorry.

Speaker 2 48:22

So y'all had to unload the truck. It was like it was just one pelican. He's doing that shit himself. There's no way, no fucking way. I used to show like the fourth county in Maryland.

Speaker 1 48:41

I don't know, but as far as fuck, I did nothing less than 80 getting down there in the state, nothing less than the state vehicle. At one point I hit 90. He had to say, hey, you got to slow down. So I'm like what you mean? I'm trying to get down there.

Speaker 2 48:57

Right Time be fucking around back in the south south of the south south of Merlin, merlin, yeah.

Speaker 1 49:07

I ain't see no black people when I was down there, so I knew we was. We weren't in the right territory.

Speaker 2 49:11

There's black people there, there's not a lot, but I ain't see any. The only niggas I saw was me and him. Yeah, she like. That scares me. I don't want no motherfucking time problems at all.

Speaker 1 49:25

I ain't even see no light skin niggas. You know what I'm saying? No problems, I don't want to look, I don't want. No problem, let's hear it. We eat this food and get that. Get out of here, man.

Speaker 2 49:38

We eat nesha in the car. Fuck that we eat it. You take your food to the car room. Since I'm driving anyway, I'm leaving now, right? Fuck all that shit. Put your sandwich in your lap, put your fucking fries. Move a fuck, let's go. I hate road trips for that, I ain't gonna say for that very fucking reason, but I just hate them shits in general, even though it's not really a road trip, right?

Speaker 1 50:08

Not really a road trip, but it's. It's one hell of a ride. You consider Virginia Beach a road trip and that's a day trip, but not a working trip. Road trips you gotta be, yeah.

Speaker 2 50:19

I was blessed Eight hours plus, yeah, yeah, anytime. Living up here, like any time, like going down, like to Atlanta, georgia or Florida or something like that. Getting out of Virginia was like be fucking worse. It just seems like you just never get out of VA. Be driving for fucking three fucking hours. Are we fucking at Richmond yet Shit.

Speaker 1 50:46

Yeah, that's true, getting out of VA is tough. Was that like at least six hours trying to get out of VA?

Speaker 2 50:51

I think it's been no Well, maybe four or five. No Four or five?

Speaker 1 50:55

No, by the time you get out of that, jay. Nah, not no two Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 51:01

That's one hour Two and a half.

Speaker 1 51:03

Because just get to the border in North Carolina is at least four.

Speaker 2 51:06

No, it's not. It is Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 51:09

Unless I'm tripping.

Speaker 2 51:13

To get to no, because when I well, nah, you're not tripping, I'm gonna say at least two and a half three.

Speaker 2 51:20

About three, three and a half, so I can get, so I can no, you can push it to the full, because when I was working at Manassas, I used to have to go to Richmond sometimes, like all the time, and that was like an hour and a half from Manassas, not an hour. Yeah, close to like two hours from Manassas. So, and that was me going 70 all the way down that motherfucker, and then that border. Once you get to Richmond, you know North Carolina, right, good, at that point, yeah, that's right. Listen, it's a double standard, that's all it is. They can get distracted or whatever. Have you got to? We got to eat that shit. But the minute we got that, that robot puts you on our, on our dick and we like push her head back, like nah, let the fucking robot finish. They going to be mad, yeah, and we fucking mad. So, mm-hmm, it happens no it doesn't Because.

Speaker 2 52:16

I don't know nothing about that. I ain't even about to entice myself with some shit like that. Yo just think, like with the like with the, the robots that Elon Musk trying to build and shit like that, and somebody builds like a sex bot, that that's just think that they pussy with the robot. Just think that they pussy work like that. The sex bot work like that. Are you really fucking a regular person out of that?

Speaker 1 52:39

Now you're going to go straight to the, to the robot pussy.

Speaker 2 52:43

So what do you think in the future There'll be, you know how, like couples have their own pets, like the husband might have his dog, the wife might have her dog or cat or whatever. Have you things like? All right? So since I can't be out here in these streets, I'm going to order the fuck bot 9000. You want to have your own fuck bot now? Fuck bot 9000. So when I want some alone time, you know, you see a tie on the door and you stay downstairs.

Speaker 1 53:17

Man, you're going to put a town on my word.

Speaker 2 53:20

Why not? It's my alone time. You know what's crazy. That could be the norm in the future and women will still be mad at you for spending more time with the fuck bot. They heard. I'm serious. I'm serious when you don't do that, when me and her I mean. That's the point. That is the point, and I know another episode for the West podcast and thank you guys for tuning in Next time.