17. So If You're Gay.... Who Proposes?

This is an age old question... one that people have been trying to figure out for forever. So, here with me today are the amazing humans, Kat and Diana who share their own proposal stories and how they navigated that time of their life as a lgbtq+ couple.

The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic

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Transcript

0:41

All right. Clearly beloved, welcome back to this week's episode. This week I have with me one of my upcoming couples this year, and I'm so excited. These two are like we, we did their engagement photos this winter and it was so fun. Like you two are just really great to hang out with. Thank you for being here. I'd love if you two could both introduce yourself and your pronouns and any important identities you'd like to share. Yeah. Thank you. Um, I'm Diana, uh, I go she, her pronouns, um, lesbian was how I identify. I'm Kat and she, her as well as lesbian. We love hanging out lesbians. Just a group of lesbians sometimes. I'm like, I'm so glad you're gay. Yeah. Yesterday you said, I said that yesterday. Say that at least you just like forget sometimes. Oh yeah. I said that's one of the reasons that I was attracted to you. At first. It was a big, a big reason why I thought this would work. That does happen to me, like individually sometimes, like I'll be like cooking or something and I'm like, my God, I'm gay. Oh yeah. I love it. Well, I know most people here today will be listening, but these two are seriously so cute. I don't mean to embarrass you guys, but you're just like so cute. So I'm hoping you could help everyone hear how cute you are by how you. Yeah. Uh, you know, the good old fashioned, uh, dating app we met on her, which is a lesbian dating app. I don't know everyone's used that, but lesbian dating app, we met on that, um, in November of 2020. And I, uh, admittedly tricked cats because I was living in Rochester and, uh, Kat was in Minneapolis and I was up here for, it was right after Thanksgiving. I was visiting a friend and her husband, we had like a little Thanksgiving and was doing some swiping, and my radius was much, uh, my radius wouldn't have reached Rochester. That's why she said she tricked me. Yeah. She was, she was here and we started chatting because she was, she was within my radius. Yeah. And Kat, I guess, decided I was worth it to keep talking too. And, uh, Yeah, we didn't actually end up meeting until after Christmas, December 28th, 2020. So we had, because I was, well, I am still I guess, a nurse and covid, everything like that. I was going home for Christmas and I was doing a strict two week quarantine before going to see my, visit, my family for Christmas and stuff. And Kat was super sweet to understand that and be patient. So we, we talked. A month before we met, maybe even a little more than a month before we met, then we met. She couldn't get rid of me. I made her meet me outside because Oh yeah, I, you know, we weren't going anywhere still at that point. So yeah, we weren't going public places. It was freezing. And I made her meet me outside before I invited her to my house. I had to make sure she wasn't a crazy person first. So that many Haha falls. Yes. Yeah. Freezing pool in this most beautiful girl in the whole white world just walked up to me with a chai tea latte and. I'm gonna cry, but I was gone. That was it. Oh, I knew. And then we had a seven hour date. Yeah. I left and I was ready to call my friends and say, I met the girl I'm gonna marry. And after like the second or third date, I like had to struggle not to tell her I loved her every time we left each other, cuz I was like, I just knew. Knew that was it. You were. And now here we are. I'm gonna cry also, I dunno if I knew that last part about Yeah, you like knowing right away. That's beautiful. Oh yeah. I knew right away my friends were all made fun of me. They're like, Diana, you need to celebr the breaks like gal. But you're also like, have you ever met a lesbian? Exactly. I'm like, come on guys. You know what a U-haul is. It's, you know how this. But we actually waited a year to move in together, so we were, we were good. So, and were you doing like, I guess, quote unquote long distance that whole time? Yeah. Or, okay. We were about like an hour and a half apart from year to Rochester, and I luckily worked 12 hour shifts and like three days a week, two to three days a week. So usually I would come up here if I wasn't working, or Cat works from home, so she would come. And like work from my place and stuff like that. But yeah, it was fun. A lot of, a lot of good, uh, podcast listening and, uh, music back and forth. Not too many scary rides, but yeah, we were glad to not be, uh, long distance when, when she moved in. For sure. Yeah, for sure. Oh yeah, for sure. And now you two are on a podcast, so it's like a circle feels soul full circle. Oh my gosh. Wow. And now for those who don't know, they're getting married this summer. Super exciting. Yeah. Two months from, uh, yesterday. Yeah. 17th. June. June 17th. 17th. Ah. Oh my gosh. We have the most amazing photographer in the world, so, oh, okay. I'm gonna edit that out for sure. It's true, it's true. Oh, thanks. Thanks. Of course. Um, okay. That was super great info. I'm curious if you two have had a favorite date thus far, or if there's any, like, you're still really dreaming about doing together. Yeah, I think we'd probably say the same date. Um, we were, we took a trip to Portland. Uh, for Diana's birthday, the first birthday that we of hers that we spent together. Mm-hmm. And we, um, we had rented this place just on the coast, um, I kind of Arch Cape. Arch Cape. Yeah. Like that, that area. And, uh, we just took wine to the beach and sat on the beach and just hung out. And it was like, Calm and beautiful and just us, and it really just felt like a space we, we keep Dr. I would say we keep dreaming about going there and like spending the summer together there and well, let's just get a place for a month. Not that we can do that, but we're like, let's just get a place for a month and be on the coast. The Oregon coast we just is. The most beautiful place in the world, I think. But yeah, just being on the beach together and seriously nobody around and we're both very much water people that a big space of water. I mean if there's a body of water, cats getting in the body of water, but it's if big space of water just makes us feel so like calm and at peace. And it was just so romantic and perfect to be sitting on the beach up against a log. Drinking wine, eating some cheese. That was perfect. Perfect, perfect. And we try to make that a thing we do whenever we travel to like find a little place to go, take some wine, see be, buy some water and just hang out. Just relax. Yeah. That's always the best part of any of our trips. That is, that's the best. That's so sweet. Okay. I'm making a note to myself that on your wedding day, I should just have some like wave sounds downloaded onto my phone. So like if I'm like sensing you two are stressed, I can just be like, wait, just wait. Relax. I got, I got this. Honestly, probably work almost and honestly you could go for a month. I feel like anything, anything is possible. Yeah. Honestly, I probably could with my dad now. Yeah. And you work from home. I would love that. Let's go. Let's go. Let's do it. Manifesting it for you too. Thank you. Maybe next year when we don't have a wedding and then Yeah. True. All of those, all those things. Do you have any plans for like a honeymoon or, yeah, yeah. We're, uh, looking to Thailand in October, hopefully doing a little bit of the, the beachy scene. We'll fly in the Bangkok and. You know, eat all the good, all the good foods, and then head to head to some beach and islands. Yeah. With some wine and cheese. Exactly. Exactly. Buy some water. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly, that's all we want. That's amazing. Oh, can't wait to see photos from that. I know. I can't wait. I'm so excited. It's a good best. Yeah. Great. Hopefully I don't get food poisoning. Don't even say that. Don't even say that. Yeah. He had a delay reaction from that knock on. Oh. Oh crap. Not, oh, that's, Well, thank you too for sharing more about you two. Um, obviously it's just like a small sliver of your story. Um, but I really wanted to invite you two here today because I remember back when we first chatted, like hearing you two both talk about, well, now I feel like I'm giving a spoiler alert even though. I like, it's obvious that you two are getting married, but hearing you two talk about your proposals will say that. Um, it just really stuck out to me and they were super sweet and, um, I think even today, surprisingly, there's a lot of confusion about. Like proposals within the LGBTQ community. Like I still have people like asking me like, like how do you decide who proposes? Like who even does that? You know? So, um, yeah. I just thought it could be really cool to hear your perspective and. Hopefully help people understand a little bit. So a little bit of a trick question, but who, who proposes in a queer relationship? It's a great question. I dunno if anyone really knows. Perfect. I, I think it's totally up to the couple. You know, I think that a lot of, uh, heterosexual couples might just assume that it would be the person who looks a little bit more. The guy in the relationship or, uh, that's like, I think that there's a perception there, but I think going into it, we, we both knew that we both wanted to propose. Like I always wanted to propose to someone my entire life, even before I knew I was gay. I was like, well, why can't I be the one to propose? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Uh, and I would watch proposal videos in college and I, I just, I think it just depends on the relationship. Like, you know, Who, whoever wants to. Yeah, definitely. And that's, I always thought about my proposal and stuff too. I mean, I, I always was like, oh, like I just, I can't wait for that day that I just get to do that. And so we both knew and we, I mean it, when we got engaged, it wasn't a surprise to either of us. It was definitely something that we communicated about a lot, and we both knew that we wanted to both do that for each other. Just because it's a special moment and we wanted each other to each have it too. Even outside of just wanting to do it yourself. I think it was important that we both felt that special moment and like had those words and that affection coming from each of us for the other groups. Yeah. I mean you even just touched on something great of like, yeah, it, it's just always felt. Uneven, right. Because like yeah, like if the guy does it and he never gets asked back, like that's just so weird to me. Like, oh yeah. Doesn't have to wear a ring is, doesn't have the same, like, it's just, it's so different. Like what if they wanna experience it? So yeah. It's very special to have someone like proclaim their love for you. Yeah. Outside of when you're getting married, you know? So it's a really special moment that. It's nice that we, we both got to experience that. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And speaking of special moments, would you two mind sharing how you both did it? Yeah. Yeah. So I, I knew, I knew how I wanted to, but I didn't know when I would. Um, and we had had plans a weekend and the plans fell through and I was like, I'm gonna put it into play. I. This day is gonna happen. Um, and I wanted to organically take us to all of our favorite spots in all of our kind of, not favorite, but like a lot of our big moments. Um, so I started the day we, I was like, maybe we should go to breakfast. Like we have this brand new free day. Let's go to breakfast. Let's ride our bikes. So we went to. A local place, um, hot plate and had breakfast. And then we rode our bikes and on the way back we went to, um, OMAS Beach, where, um, on my birthday was the first time I had said, I love you to Diana. She wanted to pop it much sooner, but um, so that was the first time we like, said we loved each other, and so we just went and spent some time. And, you know, the whole day I'm like carrying around the ring with me and like looking at it in my backpack and like looking at her and just thinking about what I wanna say. And, um, then we went to, I was like, you know what? We should get some ice cream. Doesn't that sound like, what would a day be like without ice cream? So we went to, to Dairy Queen because it was right across from Mini Haha Falls where we met like, well, we're here. Why don't we walk over to the. And at that point I could tell that Diana's starting to like catch on that, you know what might be happening because she hadn't gotten ready that day and she's like, oh my God, I looked terrible. Like yeah, like nervous. Cuz we had taken ho gear dog with us and he was like shadowing over her. Yeah. I had him in my lap and I had like my hair in a messy bun and glasses on and my shirt was covered in. And I was like, oh my God, I hope she doesn't propose right now at Nu Falls with all these people around and then people are gonna take pictures of us and I'm gonna be looking like a, in a weirdo. I don't know my best. I had also, I was like, you know, maybe we should go to dinner tonight. She's like, yeah, that sounds good. And then I said, well, good cuz I already made reservations so. And I'm like, let's go get a drink before. Um, yeah, that sounds good. Great. Cuz I made reservations so we went to the place where I had asked her to be my girlfriend, um, at uh, The norseman for drinks and we had time between then and dinner. So we went over to the stone arch bridge. I thought we could add that into like our special places. Um, and I asked her on the bridge and it was like right at the golden hour. Perfect lady. I'd like to act like I planned that, but I was just perfect. Um, and then we were walking back to the car to go to dinner and my car was getting towed, so it was like absolutely up in the air. Perfect. I'm like, no. Oh my God, you just got proposed. Don't do this. Yeah. Did they stop or down for$200 or what? Whatever it was. It was some crazy amount of money just to drop it back down. I mean, it was my fault for parking where I did, we did park illegal for sure. Yeah. In touch. Like we knew. We knew we did that, but Oh, for sure, for sure. But still, why would you do that? But we were like, we're gonna be here for like 15 minutes. Like it's fine. And then we went to the bungalow club for dinner. That's one of our, uh, great date night spots too. So yeah, it's like our special, we always go there for like special, yeah, for special occasions and stuff. And I didn't, like, I was catching on that. It was probably happening, but I didn't think that she had my ring yet, so I was like, mm-hmm. I don't know. And it's really not super out of the blue for you to be like, Hey, I met a, I made a reservation. Like, do you wanna go to dinner tonight? Or whatever. Like for you to randomly do that, really either of us to randomly. Hey, I made a reservation, like let's have a date night, whatever. So I was like, oh, yeah. And I didn't know where we were going to dinner. Once we got, once we were going to Norseman, and I was like, oh, like that's interesting. We're going to all of our places today. And I was like, right. I was like, then I was like, oh wait, that makes that, I, I get that. But then I didn't think, I also didn't think you were proposing on Stone Arch because you, you had the ring just. Free balling in your pocket. And I had no idea that, cause I was like, she doesn't have a ring box or anything and she doesn't have anything to carry it in. So like there's no way, she just has it by itself in her pocket. And she didn't, but this, oh my gosh, that's actually, that's what I was thinking about the whole first half. I was like, if I was biking with a ring in my backpack, I would be, Oh my God. It fell out, didn't it even? Yeah. Yeah. Well then I was paranoid cuz we're like on the edge of the bridge, like standing up cuz it's like kind of a little step up and we're standing there and like I'm just wanted to like grab it from her immediately. Cause I was terrified. I was gonna like, someone's gonna bump us or she was gonna like, it was just gonna drop or something and I'm like, put it on my finger before anything happens. I'm scared. But it was. That's all part of the plan. Just to add some excitement. Yeah. To the proposal, you know? Exactly, exactly. Yeah, it was perfect. It was super sweet. Yeah. The little tiny pocket in your pants. It's for your engagement ring. That's what, wow. They think of everything. Why wasn't that? I think pretty sure. Oh my gosh. That's great. And obviously you said. I did. Yeah. I didn't, I don't, did I say yes? I think I did. I'm said yes. I mean, I know now, but I just, I don't remember, I guess what I said in the moment, but yeah. Okay. Cause there are, there are those videos where like the person like getting proposed to, well actually just say nothing. They'll just be like, yeah. Oh my gosh. And then the other person's like, are, are you saying Yes? Come on on. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure I. But yeah, it was great. It was a perfect day. Yeah, it was a perfect day. Oh, that is really sweet. Yeah. So, yeah, your turn. Diana, what what'd it look like for you? Mine was not quite as elaborate, but I, I knew I wanted, well, I always pictured it. I always wanted something like very low-key. I'm somebody that hates, Attention. I don't, and Kat was really good at, like, she didn't get down on her knee and like make it this big thing, so nobody around us realized it was going on when we were at Stone Arch because I, that was the last thing I wanted was people to like be all coming over like, oh my God, congratulations. Like blah, blah, blah. That just makes me very uncomfortable and mm-hmm. Anxious, having a lot of attention on me. And so I always knew I wanted something very low key and just kind of like just us and, mm. Special. And so that's kind of, we almost the same thing. We like woke up one morning and I was like, oh, like we should go and get some breakfast over. We have a bakery down the street from our house that's, we just love going there and getting donuts and croissants and they're actually gonna have donuts at our wedding and stuff because we just, it's like a special place for us that we love going to. And so we. We're like, oh, let's go get donuts and wa We drove there, right? Mm-hmm. We drove there and then I was like, oh, we should just go have a little picnic on the beach at a comas. Which again, that's where we like where cats said she loved me for the first time and I reciprocated and uh, um, so we just went and it was a beautiful morning and we had a little picnic and just sat out there and were eating donuts and probably had coffee and hanging out and. And I had a little pocket or the ring in my pocket and kept, kept getting distracted by random things. She was like, look, showing me haircuts and stuff she wanted to get, and I was like, Trying to wait for a good segue to be like, yeah, so I mean, I even said like a couple times I was like, oh, like this place, like you know this special place. You're like, yeah, so it's like haircut, what do you think about this one? Like, oh my gosh, like, and I was waiting too, for there not to be, because people kept like walking by and stuff. And again, like I said, I didn't want a bunch of attention, so I was like waiting for no one to be around and. Was able to stop and confess my love and pull out the ring. And she didn't. We went, I don't know if this, if this is, I shouldn't say this right now, but we went and looked at rings together. Hmm. But she didn't know, I didn't know what she had ended up picking. Yeah. She didn't know what I ended up picking for her. So, or even that I had gotten it yet. Did you? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I mean, that was a surprise and it was just, I mean, yeah, I was getting distracted, but it was also like she said, it was very much like us and our kind of mourning. Yeah. And it was just such a nice moment and um, yeah, it's just a really great space for us. Yeah, for sure. I just wanted, I don't know, it's like something, I wanted it to be something that you want to, like those moments that you wanna share forever, like those moments to be their most special moments. Like waking up in bed together and like just sitting on the beach and doing these relaxing moments that like, we're gonna do that forever. Yeah. Like that. I wanted it to be something that isn't just like this once in a lifetime thing that were this big random thing. Like I wanted it to be part of those small moments that end up being like the big moments that that's kind of what was important to me in that, that times, that's why I did that there. Yeah. Yeah, that's so true. Like I hear a lot of couples say that their favorite moments are actually like the everyday things and, and stuff like that. So I love that you both incorporated that into your proposals. Yeah. So what did you end up saying? Yeah, yeah. So like, speaking of undercuts, um, I really, I really love you. Like, like come on, this is this place, right? Like, isn't it so special here? But you started to catch on. Eventually I got, and then you were like, oh shoot, I should stop showing you pictures of haircuts I want. So I was able to segue in and make it a little more smooth. Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's so sweet. Hashtag goals right there. For sure. Yeah. So I know you two kind of already talked about this earlier when you both said that you've always dreamed about proposing. Um, but I'm curious if like, once you two entered this relationship and were kind of in like adults and like in the reality that a lot of what we see is more like straight kind of proposals where it's a guy doing it and things like that. Did you ever. Struggle with that? Or like struggle, struggle navigating even like how to do it or anything like that? Or were you kind of just like, no, I think the only thing that I struggled with was I'm a very logistical person, so thinking about. Getting the ring and I, I wanted to get the ring that she wanted, but I also didn't wanna lose the, I thought that if I didn't pick it myself, that it would like lose the romance around it. So I guess the only thing that I, it's not necessarily related to, um, you know, being worried about the, the roles of it all, but, um, I think that it was more so. The process of it. And, and it didn't take away the, the romance of it. It was like really fun to go and talk about those things. And I didn't know what I wanted at all, and I ended up with a ring that I didn't even expect at all. So that, that process was a lot of fun and like brought us closer together and just brought, made more space to have conversations so that we were comfortable with. From the beginning, you know? Yeah. I think that was like a big thing. I mean, we both are huge and I mean, I think everybody should be like with communication and stuff, so I mean we, we talked about this a lot. Like this was never a surprise that either, I mean, we knew that this is where this was heading and what we wanted. We like talked about that opt-in and stuff and yeah, that was mean. It was important. I shouldn't say important I guess, but I wanted to go and look at rings together just. I kind of knew what I wanted, but I'd never put an engagement ring. Not, I don't know what it was gonna look like on me. I didn't know if that is really what I wanted, and if I would see something different, that would be the thing I wanted. And for Cat, I'm like, I have no idea what you want. And she couldn't really decide what you wanted either, or like you couldn't think of what you wanted. There wasn't really anything that was just, you know, you go look on a random website that you were like, oh, I like, So it was important for us to go together and it was being so fun cuz we would just plan a full date day around it and go look at rings and then go get some drinks and like have dinner reservations. And then it was like just so fun to sit there and over drinks and be talking about it and, and then we'd start talking about like our wedding and what we wanted and all that. So it was just fun. To do that stuff together. Did you think you were gonna beat me to the proposal? I wanted to try to, but I figured you would. But I thought it was like, because I think that it, I mean talking about in the roles and stuff of it all, I think that you, I think we both expected you to propose first, and so that I was kind of like, oh, I kind of wanna do it first so that it's the unexpected, like I wanted to surprise you first. We jumped right on it. So yeah. How long was it in between both of yours? I don't remember. They were both in September, weren't they? It was like three weeks. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think they were both in September. Mm-hmm. I don't know. Yeah, it was about three weeks. Okay, so not a long time. Yeah. And just curious what, what makes you say that you. Both expected Kat to be first? I don't know. I think it just, like in our, I don't know. I'm not sure if it, and this is an interesting conversation because I am more like, uh, I don't know if you, I'm more mask presenting, I would say. Mm-hmm. So maybe that's a little bit it. I, I'm also older, so that could be a little bit it, um, But I guess I'm not really sure. Maybe I just, I think everyone else, yeah, I think people, everyone else expected it because of those things. I think because you're older and stuff is more so I think than you being like more mask presenting. The way to present is more so like what the heteronormative world would probably expect to be the person that would ask first. Sure. But like in our relationship, that isn't necessarily the way. Yeah, but it just seemed, it just seemed logical. I don't know why it seemed logical for you to propose first. Yeah. I dunno. Sometimes it's just a feeling sometimes, you know? Yeah. Like it just seemed like totally like, yeah, that like would make sense. And I don't know. I wanted it to be different though. But I mean, I'm not mad. I'm not mad at how it happens, but I just thought it, I think you would've been more surprised if I'd done it first. Yeah. I would've been that. I think that's more so what it is. I think you figured you were gonna do it first, and so I figured that and then you would've been way too surprised if I would've done it before you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I feel like you two just touched on so many important things, cuz I think the beauty of it all is like, Because we're a part of this community, there's no one right way to do it. Yeah. Like one person can do it, both people can do it. Like you can do it multiple times. Like there's just, it's so much more open and Exactly. Just like you said, you can do like what feels right to you. Yeah. I just think, I think that's so beautiful. Thank you. And I think everybody. Feel like they can do that too. Yeah. Like I'm very thankful that I'm in this community and that we, the traditions don't necessarily, whether it's good or bad. The, the traditional sense to go about things isn't as easy for our community, but it also opens up a lot of doors to do whatever we want too. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And I appreciate even what you brought up. Yourself too, Kat, of just like, people might have expected that because of how I present. And that's just like an ongoing thing that we're always trying to address, right? It doesn't matter how you identify or how you present, like, you know, you're just whatever you wanna be. So I'm really glad you said that too. Um, Yeah. So I'm curious now that you two are like clearly pros, you're such pros. Um, if there were people listening here who are maybe kind of in that season of like, yeah, we're, we're getting pretty serious thinking about popping the question, but maybe they haven't necessarily, like seeing people that look like them go through this or something. Um, what would, what would you say to them? Yeah, I think one like communication is, like I said earlier, I mean that's huge in talking with each other and kind of figuring out, Hey, is this something we're ready for? First of all, like kind of what to expect because there's an engagement, but at the end of that and there's a wedding, but the end of that, there's a marriage, which I think most people want to be forever. You know, nobody goes into marriage not wanting it to be forever, and so you have to realistically have those conversations of what does that look like? Um, and, you know, not, and I think media, I mean stuff like this, you know, having podcasts, TV shows, all that kind of stuff that you can see yourself in other people is so huge and important. And I think nowadays there's a lot of good information and stuff out there. There's a lot of good media that you can seek out if, you know, you're trying to figure those things out. Uh, and just being able to see yourself in other people helps kind of guide. And make you feel more comfortable in that. If that's something that you're like, oh, this makes me a little uncomfortable, because I don't know anyone else that's like this. And we're lucky to have a huge community around us of like, we have a lot of queer friends and that's a huge part of our group of friends really. And but there's a lot of people that don't have that. And if you don't have that, I'm sure it is intimidating not knowing how that works and stuff. And I'll say it was. Portions, and it wasn't just, I guess not just the proposal, but going into, you know, going and ring shopping or what you do leading up to a proposal or the things after the proposal. Um, I've been pleasantly surprised at how comfortable I feel in all of those spaces. I thought that it was gonna be, You know, going into a ring shop as two women searching for engagement rings together. Um, I thought that we were going to be, I guess I didn't know what to expect. You never know who is gonna be the person like helping you in those situations. Wow. And I feel like we had Good, yeah. Good. Like, Experiences all around, like I was really nervous going and searching for a suit for my, for our wedding and it was a really good experience for me. I mean, I obviously did a lot of research, but, um, I think that it's scary going into it because of the enno unknown, but I think that there's more people out there that are akay with helping us through the process as well. It's a very, I don't know. The process has been nicer than I expected it to be. Yeah, I mean that was something though that we did do, to be honest, which I guess is probably good advice. When we looked up like lgbtq plus friendly ring stores, and I mean, we look at that stuff and for your suit and stuff, I mean, we looked at that and there's a lot of good information and stuff out there, and most places kind of have information on that and you know, Go in when you make your appointments and you say, you know, you put in your names and stuff, so people kind of realize, hopefully before you get there that you don't just show up and they have a surprise look like, oh, well, where's the other one? Or whatever. Like that luckily never happened for us, I don't think. Anywhere we went. Yeah, maybe. But yeah, I mean, I think that that is something that's important is doing some research just to make it a little bit more comfortable, which you shouldn't have to do and stuff. If you're nervous about that, there is good information out there to kind of help prevent those moments. Cuz I think that that can completely ruin a journey. Not ruin the marriage and stuff, but like ruin those moments when you're going and you're just wanting to have this sweet moment of looking at rings and you go and they're like, Well, I'm not gonna help you. Yeah. Like mm-hmm. They're, you guys shouldn't be getting married. I mean, that would completely crush us. Like that would've been terrible. So, I mean, I think, you know, it's, that's something that's important just to make sure that you're going into safe environments and stuff, that you're gonna be with people that are supporting you and not against you. Yeah. No, I think that's huge. And I mean, yeah, that's honestly why we're chatting about this too, right. Is hopefully, You know, the right people find this too. Um, and that's great that you two have had such a great experience so far. We love to hear that. Yeah. Um, and it kind of sounds like, Diana, you were saying maybe part, or do you think part of the conversation is asking each other, like who wants to propose or do you think that's still. I think that left mystery. Yeah, I mean, I think both. I think that it kind of happens organically when you're talking about it. I mean, when you're saying, let's go look at rings. I mean, I guess, I don't know if we ever had, like we, we've talked about it before. It was early, early on and we were like, oh, I think I would be the one to ask. And we were like, I don't know. I always thought I would be so, and it was more playful at that time, but I think it gave us enough of like, oh yeah, we both do wanna ask. Yeah. And then when going to look at rings and stuff, I think it's. If we're both looking at rings that if I'm gonna buy you a ring, I'm gonna propose to you with it. I'm not gonna just be like, well, here your ring came in today. Here you go. You know? So I think, I mean that too, and stuff kind of happens that we're like, oh yeah, we're both looking at this. We both wanted to have a ring and stuff, and yeah. So, yeah, I mean, I think it kind have more organically, but yeah, I guess we prob we did joke about it, I mean, like five months into a day, but we all, we, we both are wearing our rings now as they're our engagement rings, you know, like mm-hmm. It's not like I'm, it's not like I'm, you know, like a, I think a lot of men don't put on a ring until their wedding day. Yeah. Um, so it's kind of nice that we're both wearing our rings. Yeah. We both get. Yeah, I agree. I have like always said that it's weird, I'm not gonna lie. Yeah. I didn't have to wear one. I know. I, I honestly am really hoping that our community kinda rubs off on the straight community in that way because I just think it should be, it's just more equal that way. Yeah. You know, they're both, yeah. So, yeah. That totally makes sense is, do you think there's anything else you would want to share, like about the proposal process or anything like that? I don't know. It's fun. Yeah. Yay. It was, it was a fun time. I mean, it's just, and we were like kind of secretive of, not secretive, like we weren't hiding it, but we were like, oh, we wanna just like keep this between us. And I think that that's special too. Like, As, as soon as we got engaged, we were telling people, but just the going ring shopping and stuff, I don't think we told anybody we were doing that. Yeah. So people, everyone was like surprised but not, I mean, people knew that it was coming. They didn't, they were asking, they were like, so what's going? Like, but we weren't telling people what, yeah. That we were actively go like rolling towards that. So I think that's something that's fun. I mean, obviously everyone has their own things, but I think it was really fun for us to kind of have that secret. During that time when we were planning it, no, not planning our proposals, but planning our rings and stuff like that, but so that was fun. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. I actually really like that cuz I think. I mean, when you were talking about your stories, it was very, like you were saying, a just us experience. It was very about you too. And I do think that the more people you tell, the more you allow kind of outside influences to be like, oh, maybe like maybe that's not a good idea or something. So I actually, I love that. Yeah, I think that's great. That's exactly why I think it was, part of it is we just like didn't want any outside influence. No, you need to do this bigger thing. You need to do this thing or you need to do. Mm-hmm. Like this is what, this is what you're supposed to do or whatever. So it's nice. Yeah. Having that just be between us and doing it on our own. Yeah. Yeah. I liked that. It's so cute. So I mean, like, I have to ask, how excited are you for your wedding day? I mean, so excited. I can't wait. Yeah. It feels people acute, like, are you stressed or anything? I'm like, I'm, there's like very small stressors, but I'm not stressed. I don't understand the feeling of cold feet Right now. Everybody talks about cold feet and I really don't, I haven't had that feeling at all. I'm just, I'm excited to, to marry this person. Me too. With these like really sweet friends that they were asking us about, they're like, are you guys getting nervous? Are you getting anxious? And. Not at all. Like not about the wedding. I mean, there's like random little things that need to get done, but I'm not anxious at all about the wedding day. Like once the day comes, I'm just like gonna be so excited I think, and nothing else is really gonna matter. Like what the flowers look like, what that looks like, it's, I don't really care. And we have these like sweet friends we're like, well, yeah, of course not. You guys are just naturals. And that, which was like the sweetest compliment ever. And I do just feel that way. I just think that it's feels so natural and bright that I can't imagine. Being worried about that day. Yeah. Or like worried about the wedding. So we're very excited. Yeah, we're very excited. We're very, very excited. Oh my gosh. I just, I want everyone to hear what you just said because that's like, that's the energy that you should have, you know, like, 10 years from now. Yeah. You're not gonna care about the flowers, but you are gonna care that you had fun with your person and I know you too, will. So that's, oh my gosh. It's gonna be a good day. Yeah, it's gonna be a good day. Yeah. Uh, well thank you too for sharing. I know we just talked about your proposal for like an hour. You're probably like, okay, let me not share that story again for a minute. But thank you so much. Um. I'd love to kinda end just on, well, not that this whole conversation hasn't been fun, but on sort of a, just a fun little note. Yeah. Um, what would each of your favorite ways to spend a day be? Actually, good question. Um, you know, I, I love a slow wake up, um, making breakfast together. What? No, I'm just sick. Uh, probably a, a, a walk with Hoy, our dog and, um, going to some body of water and hanging out. But I also do love to do at least one productive thing a day. So I would wanna do one productive thing and then go to the fun things. Um, I was, but really just hanging out and then probably going some, going to dinner somewhere Nice. At the end of the. I was gonna say, yours was gonna be a slow wake up, eat breakfast outside. Yep. And then mosy in the garden for a while. Yep. Love it. I think that's really your, yeah, it's, it's hard to say that one. It's not real screen yet, but I mean, mine's pretty similar, like kind of the same thing, like a slow wake up, lay in bed, don't have to rush to get out of bed, just. Talk in bed in the morning and make breakfast together, sit outside and eat breakfast. That's perfect when it gets nice out. And I like a slower day than Kat. I don't need to have any productive moments. I'd be good with that. And then go to a brewery, have a couple beers. Yeah, go somewhere for dinner. Awesome. Yeah, a good, slow, relaxed day without having like, Not having to be anywhere at a certain time. Yep. You two are making me feel like we're the same people. Cause I would do all of that for sure. Perfect, perfect. Yes. Love it. Um, okay. I'm really curious if you two remember like who or what was your gay awakening? Yes. Oh, yes. I was, uh, a big fan of Angelina Jelly. I was, uh, part of the fan club. Mm-hmm. And I received a signed eight by 10 of hers, and I shut out. I just thought that it was a normal thing to like really love an actress and. Welcome back. Looking back, she was my gay awakening, I mean, yeah. Mm-hmm. More than like her. I wish that I had that picture still. Yeah, I know how you don't. Mine was, mine's like kind of silly, but it's kind of talking about earlier, like seeing yourself in media. I always like had this feeling and stuff like that, but Grey's Anatomy, Kelly in Arizona, they really just showed me, showed me it could be possible, have a family, have a wife, all that stuff. And then when they broke up, they ruined the shell and I'll never watch it again. But spoiler, if people don't know that, Oh my gosh. That's crazy. Yeah. My, I haven't seen it, but my partner's a big fan and Oh yeah. She, she told me about that scandal too, so, oh yeah. No, Cali, Arizona, man. I was like, hell yeah. I mean, Cali mostly. That was a hell. Yeah. But can we flip the question? What was your day awakening? Oh, yeah. I, I always have a tough time with this, but I feel. The first time I really started thinking about it was, um, she go from kid possible. She was just like, so cool. And I was like, whoa, do I wanna be her or be with her? Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Whoops. So, Okay. Last, last lining round question. What is both of your favorite colors of the rainbow? Green? Wait, did you say blue? I said blue. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Blue and green. Blue and green. Green. Oh, oh, I was thinking like water. Sometimes a little bluer. Sometimes it's a little greener. You guys are water people. Nature, just green nature. Yeah. Grass green. Trees green. Gimme some green. Perfect. Yeah. Right there with you. Yeah. Awesome. Well, thank you so much Kat and Diana. You two are the best. I love hanging out with you too. Um, and yeah, everyone listening, circle back June 17th. See, see pictures of their wedding? You won't wanna miss it. Yes. Sorry. You can hear our dog working, but we are so excited. We can't wait to have you there. Seriously. Yes, it's gonna be the best. Thank you so much. Yeah. All right. Clearly, beloved, we will see you here next week.