22. What it Looks Like to Have Pride Year Round - For Allies and the LGBTQ+ Community

June is such an amazing time to celebrate our community- but it shouldn't be the only time. We want to celebrate our love stories year round!
This episode gives tips to both allies and vendors as well as directly to the LGBTQ+ community on how we can make Pride a year round experience, not confined to June alone.
Resources:
Dancing with Her- LGBTQ wedding planning and vendors
The Equally Wed Inclusivity Training Courses

The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic

Homebody Candles MN
Homebody MN are made by a local, trans-owned small business and makes candles for your wedding!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Transcript

0:41

Clearly beloved, welcome back to this week's episode. I am so glad that we are gathered here today, all hanging out together. My name is Anna. I use she her pronouns, and I am the owner of Wildly Connected Photography. If this is your first time joining us today, this podcast is everything to do with queer weddings, from vendors to couples and helping them plan their day. So as June is wrapping up, which we all know is Pride month, happy pride, I think that we've kind of been hit with yet another wave of only seeing I. People or companies celebrate and show pride during this month. It's definitely something that I've seen even in the wedding industry, you know, for me, as someone who specializes in queer weddings, somehow I have gotten a huge spike of people tagging me in my photos, you know, other businesses and things where they might not normally. And so, I wanted to kind of come at it of the angle and say the opposite. That pride is all year long. And don't get me wrong, like I love Pride Month. It is, it's so amazing and so special to be able to have this time to, to celebrate, to feel proud, to just be able to love out loud. Totally. And I actually got to be a part of the Twin Cities pride this year. And yeah, that is something I'll never forget. It's truly just such an amazing feeling to be in community with such a large nber of people who you know are safe and have the same shared experiences like. It is. It's truly amazing and I really am grateful that we have this month. So it's not at all about that, but more just to say that I think it's something that we can be doing all year long. And since this podcast is dedicated to both allies and vendors and also directly to the lgbtq plus community, I wanted to talk about both sides a little bit. So, Starting out with our allies and our wedding vendors here who want to be better and want their businesses to be better. This is a very common theme on this podcast, and I will never not talk about this, but L LGBTQ love is something that you have to share about all year long. It is not something that you can share about just in the month of June. You have to make it normalized and not tokenized. It's, it's just gotta be like, for many of you, I know you have, you know, social media planning calendars, or some of you might even have someone dedicated just to running your social media. And so make sure that those kinds of love stories. Are being posted year round and in regular cadence with all of your other couples. Like don't just share the handful of queer couples you had and just dp them all out in June. Like yeah, it is amazing and great to share those couples and you know, if you are like a venue or space that I. That allows those kinds of couples see. Married there. Thank you. However, you know, it's just not a great feeling to feel that I. You only wanna show our faces in this month, you know, I get it. Share the extra love. It is pride month. It is about celebrating us. Totally makes sense. And at the same time, we want to see that you are putting in the work and the thought and the love all year round. So just find ways to make sure that even beyond social media, you have. Evergreen content on your website or other platforms that are up year round, you know, like, go crazy. Make one of your banner images on your website, a queer couple. Like, just make sure that it's not just tokenizing nber two, as allies and wedding vendors who want to make the industry a better place, keep having conversations with people. honestly, I think that sometimes we have to acknowledge that when folks like us from the community try to have conversations with folks outside of the community, it's not always well received or well taken because they think we have an agenda and. All of the things, and so for you, if you have friends or family members who are asking questions or maybe saying some things that are a little bit questionable, like please be having those conversations with them. I know firsthand that they are not fun. They're not fun conversations. And yet, like we really rely on your help to have those conversations where we can't or don't want to honestly. and so please year round, like take, take pride in our community by having those hard conversations and to kind of follow up with that. especially for. People in, in businesses who are wanting to be a safe space, who are wanting to be inclusive and do the work, like keep learning and keep investing in education. there is a lot of educators out there. There's also a lot of platforms there, and especially wedding specific platforms who have guides and courses on how to be more inclusive. And I can link those in the show notes. But it's out there, like the knowledge and the resources are out there. And so please keep taking the time year round to be learning, to ask questions, to invest in education, especially if you are a sort of business that has a team or a staff like. That's so important to be having conversations and making sure that your staff is all on the same page. You know? And that is part of why I have this podcast, is to make sure that we are keeping this learning and growth journey all year long because it's so important. And you know, I'm learning things all the time too, about my community, about other communities like. It is just really important to keep that mindset and to keep prioritizing a growth mindset and investing in education. And fourthly also kind of related, is look at your circles and look at your preferred vendors list. Who is on them, who's on your staff, who are in your circles like, Truly. I know it might be tough, but like objectively look at them and be like, do these people have inclusive values? Are they going to be kind? Does my staff all look the exact same? Could I invite someone else on? And especially for those preferred vendors, Liz. Do you have a queer vendor on there? Do you have a vendor on there that's from a different cultural background, like, or does that list kind of all look the same? You know, have the same athe aesthetics, have the same backgrounds, and I know that might be kind of difficult and challenging to. Maybe take a few people off or have hard conversations with your staff. But I do think that pride doesn't always look like happiness and a big festival, but that part of pride sometimes is hard conversations and it's looking at what you're currently doing and seeing how you can change that for the better. Like that is part of keeping. The attitude of pride up all year long. just making sure that on your vendor's list, in your circles, in your staff, you have people that reflect other kinds of love stories. And that's also a really awesome thing for you as an ally or vendor as well, just to be around those people, to be in those spaces, to be even just getting to be in their room with them and, and listening to them and learning from them, like it's a great opportunity for you as well. So just to recap one, please keep sharing things year round, make it normalized. Not tokenize. Two, please keep having hard conversations with your friends, your family, with staff, with vendors, all of the things. Nber three, please keep learning, investing in education, and doing that year round, not just in June. There's lots of great res resources out there. And nber four, look at who's in your circles. Look at who's on your staff. Please, take a good look at who's on your preferred vendors list and really think about expanding that to include more people who reflect more kinds of love stories back to the kinds of couples that you're trying to invite into your spaces. Now onto our LGBTQ plus community. I don't know. I, I, I can't believe that I'm the only one in feeling that this is sort of a new concept to be celebrating pride year round as someone who grew up in an extremely conservative evangelical Christian background who was essentially told to be the one to go to pride and pray for people and. Hate on them instead of love on them. It's a very new concept to me and I think that everybody in the community, regardless of what your journey has looked like, has probably some things to work through. And so I think it's really, really important for us to find ways to celebrate pride year round and to also, Not get used to the idea that the month of June is our only month. Like we deserve to exist and feel loved and feel proud year round, just like any other community does. And so the first thing I wanna say is, yeah, please keep sharing your love year round. don't be ashamed to share that you got ice cream with your partner on a Tuesday. Or, I don't know, maybe you moved apartments or something like that. Like keep celebrating those little wins and sharing those moments of your love story year round. Just reminding yourself, reminding the world that you are worthy of having an amazing love story just like the rest of the world. And please with all of these things, take them with a grain of salt. You know, as someone who was in the closet for a very long time, I, I do understand that the things that I'm saying can't always be done safely. And so if that's you, if you're not out yet, or are only out to a select few, and these things don't feel safe to you, I. Please just listen and take them with a grain of salt. I want your safety to be priority, and my wish is that one day, like all of these things will be safe for you to do and to love out loud. And secondly, I do think that unfortunately in some ways that advocacy does fall on us as well. But it's a really cool aspect to think that year round we can be fighting to make the lives of our, of our neighbors and fellow community members better. And that's pride, if I ever did see it, is feeling so sure and confident and proud of who we are, that we are gonna keep having hard conversations, going to rallies, signing petitions, all of the things. And I think that looks totally different for every person. And so just figuring out what that looks like for you, whether it is, you know, going to a rally or whether it's advocating online, whatever it might be, I think it's a great way for us to continue to show that pride and strength in our community. Nber three having pride year round looks like finding ways to celebrate and be proud of you by yourself. Just you without your partner if you have one. Like I think being a part of this community, as I mentioned earlier, we've all had to go through things. Whether it was I. You know, fighting for safety, just to be able to come out fighting for your identity, whether it's, you know, the weird looks that we probably all get on a daily basis. The judgmental stares, the comments, the, here have the Bible, all of the things like. It's tough. It is not easy. Existing in this world, sometimes loving who we love and being who we are. And so you can be like the most proud person in the world and sometimes those things just chip at you just a little bit every day. And so please like find ways to celebrate you like. Take yourself on a date, do something that you love. Acknowledge how far you have come and how far you'll continue to go. Being yourself, I think that's super important to, yeah, maybe it's like keeping a journal of like a little, when you had, or a moment you felt really proud of yourself, or a moment you had gender euphoria or, you know, I. Flirted with a new person, like whatever it might be. Just acknowledging that you have come so far and you're doing amazing. I think that's really, really important to do that year round and to not let that be defined by just, excuse me, one month of celebrating. So, yeah, take yourself on a date, keep a journal. Just make sure that you celebrate yourself and also in that time to be finding rest as well. You know, as I just said, that it can be super exhausting, a little bit mentally taxing, sometimes existing in this world as folks in this community, and so please, Find that balance of finding rest and taking care of yourself. Stepping back from doing the work of educating and advocating like we do have to sometimes on a daily basis, and that might look like taking a break from social media or the news and just like finding some peace. You know, it's been a really tough year with such a huge spike in anti LGBTQ plus and anti-trans laws popping up everywhere, and that that can be exhausting and also really have an impact on you. And so I highly encourage you to find rest, to take a break, to step away from the news so that you can find that confidence in yourself, find that peace, and be ready to. Come back and, and join and fighting against that when you're ready. And lastly, I think that for the LGBTQ plus community, celebrating pride around also looks like being in community. I know I just got done saying, find time by yourself. But honestly, finding people to connect with and to be in community with. With the LGBTQ plus community, it's so powerful and so healing. I mean, like I said, being at Pride surrounded by so many folks from the community, it was insanely powerful knowing that there are that many of us and that we are willing to show up and have fun and show up for each other, like it is the greatest form of protest in loving and uniting with our community. So I highly, highly encourage you to be with people that look like you, that love, like you, that have the same experiences as you. Like it is just such an amazing feeling and it is a great way to celebrate our, the community as a whole is by finding community in our own lives, and really showing that. Yeah, we're not going anywhere. We're, we're building communities and they're loving and healthy and vibrant communities and they're also just fun. I mean, come on, we're fun. We're pretty fun people. So if that's something that you're still struggling to find, like please reach out. I'd be happy to try to connect you to Facebook groups or, you know, things like that because I. Community is so powerful. Everyone deserves to have it. Everyone deserves to have that love and support. And so I really encourage you to make a practice out of intentionally spending time with people, specifically from your community. and as always, my dms are always open, so come say hi. Have a little community with me. Yeah, just to recap, for the lgbtq plus community celebrating pride year round looks like keep sharing your love year round. You are not confined to just the month of June. Share it year round. Share. Share your love. Share the small wins. Share all the little things safely, please. And two, continue to advocate for our community, for, the other folks in the community in whatever way that looks like for you. Three is, is finding rest and also finding ways to celebrate you uniquely you, and how far you've come and how far you will continue to go. Being. Being the person that you are. And lastly, be in community with other people from the queer community. Super powerful and healing. And it's a just such a beautiful way to show protests in uniting with other people in our community. So that is everything I have for you today. So, Yes, happy pride month. But please, please, please take all of these things. Take this love. Take this joy that has been received this month and just carry it with you the rest of the year. And vendors. Please keep learning. Please keep supporting us. Please join in celebration of our love with us year round, so clearly, beloved. Thank you for gathering with me here today, and I will see you all very soon.