Alright folks! Who's ready for some change to make 2024 weddings even better and more inclusive!?
There are just some things in our industry that while, aren't necessarily intended to be harmful, end up perpetuating stereotypes and trying to make couples fit into boxes. So I hope you'll join me with an open mind and you're listening ears! :)
ALSO! I want to hear the story of YOUR LOVE! I'm calling all queer and lgbtqia2s+ couples to come on the podcast to share your experiences for other couples to relate to and for all of us to learn from!
Please DM me on Insta @wildlyconnectedphoto
OR
email me at hello@wildlyconnectedphotography.com
Cheers my Queers!
The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic
Alright folks! Who's ready for some change to make 2024 weddings even better and more inclusive!?
There are just some things in our industry that while, aren't necessarily intended to be harmful, end up perpetuating stereotypes and trying to make couples fit into boxes. So I hope you'll join me with an open mind and you're listening ears! :)
ALSO! I want to hear the story of YOUR LOVE! I'm calling all queer and lgbtqia2s+ couples to come on the podcast to share your experiences for other couples to relate to and for all of us to learn from!
Please DM me on Insta @wildlyconnectedphoto
OR
email me at hello@wildlyconnectedphotography.com
Cheers my Queers!
The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic
Weirdly beloved. Welcome back to this week's episode at, uh, emphasis on the welcome bag, because it has been. A minute. I am truly so sorry about that. I did not intend to end up taking a several month break from the podcast. However, this is my first year having a podcast and it also happens to be like the first year that I've just had my busiest wedding season yet. And so do you know. We're uh, we're learning. We're getting more prepared for, for upcoming things and learning to plan more ahead. But here we are. I'm super excited to just dive right back into the podcast. Super exciting things. Coming ahead. Marcus more solo episodes. All the good things. So. I figured I could start with just a quick little life update since it's been, like I said, a hot minute. So, yeah, it's just been crazy. Um, this past September. Aye. Transitioned. I hit my one year mark of having wildly connected. Um, and it's just been such a cool, amazing full year. Like I never thought that I'd be here getting to work with so many awesome queer couples. Just a year and to kind of niching down into that. And speaking of niching down. Kind of continuing on that journey and going to be. Focusing a lot more on doing elopements, which I'm so stoked about. Um, But super excited. So for all of the, all of the weddings I have coming up. Um, and super excited that I have a team that's gonna keep supporting me with that. So, Um, you know, Also just like a crazy busy season, so many awesome weddings, so many good memories. Captured and experienced, Got to go to Mexico. I was in Montana. I was also in Arizona, just. All over. You all are just the coolest. And also I did happen to get engaged just a couple of weeks ago, which is super exciting. I just, wow. Yeah. I'm the happiest. And also just excited that I get to really kind of connect with more couples. In the season of life and kinda be able to be on the other side of it and really see what you all are experiencing. So that's my life. As per usual, I love connecting with all of you that, that listen here. So feel free to. Share your own little life date, life updates with me in my Instagram DMS I'm at while they connected photo. If you would like to connect there? I would love to say hi. So. I figured. Since this is the first episode back in a while. I really just wanted to start out with something good. I mean, all the podcasts are good in my humble opinion, but we're just going to jump right in with. Durham Loro, please. Things that I would like to see. Stop. In 20, 24, I mean, preferably the rest of this year as well, but like, Th these are just things I need to stop in 2024. So. If this is the only part that you listened to then great, because I think that this is like the biggest takeaway. From. The whole of this podcast. And honestly, like a lot of my podcasts. Okay, so put your listening ears on. We need to stop talking about only brides and making the entire wedding industries. So hyper-focused on brides. And. I know you might be like a little bit confused, but like, trust me if you like start paying attention to it. It's everywhere. Like. I'm in continuing education spaces. I'm listening to business podcasts in this space. I'm talking to people. I'm talking to vendors. I'm. You know, looking at Pinterest reading, Instagram, captions, like legitimately everywhere is this idea of like brides this bride, that this is what brides want. This is what brides do. Are you a 2020 for bride? Then do this, like it's, it is such a majority of the focus of the wedding industry space. And the more that I've noticed it, the more that I just see it everywhere all the time. And it irks me, it irks me so much because. That like. I know that there might be some people who at first are kind of like, I don't understand what the problem is. But the problem is. First of all. I think that it comes with this really like heteronormative assumption. That when a couple gets engaged, there's a one man and there's one rumen and the woman immediately enters bride mode and she does all the planning and it's all like her vision and what she wants. And she's the extra one and this and that. And. Even just the general assumption that it's a bride and groom. Getting married. Which is just not always the case. Like there's not always a bride. In couples getting married. So, yes, of course. First of all, like it might be two grooms getting married, like we're neither of them identify as a bride. But there can also be people who just like. That term doesn't feel right to them. Like. Even for me in my partner. I don't think either of us really. Feel like we want to go walking around town, being like, Ooh, are the breads. Like it just. It doesn't feel like us. It doesn't feel like a label that. We're really excited about. Now, like what I get offended about it? No, definitely not. Um, But. I I, yeah, it's just not everybody identifies with that. And if you do. And if you are queer and you identify that way. Amazing. That is so great. Like. There's nothing wrong with it at all. It's just that I think. Like I said so much of the wedding industry. Is so hyper-focused on like, Marketing to brides and some of those stereotypes that like, Are marketed to brides. Which that's a whole other thing, like. We never know, especially until we ask how someone, you know, relates or identifies to. So like, there could be a more masculine presenting queer woman. Who still wants to use the word bride. But then it's like automatically, if that's the case. Like she doesn't fit into any of these marketing stereotypes that we see in magazines and billboards in ads and the way that people talk about brides and the assumption that brides are only allowed to wear long white floofy dresses. And. Then that just kind of leaves them out, which was really sad. I just, it feels like people need to. Have that box. Like if there's a wedding, there has to be Bri. And then, okay, great. That's what we're gonna, that's who we're going to be communicating with primarily like that's whose vision we're focusing on. Like. And it almost like breaks people's brain. If there isn't a bride, like who do we focus on? How, who is this? David? Bow like it is. I have legitimately seen like, People's brains break. When you say there's not a bride involved, cause they're just like. Who's doing the planning then, or like, Who's like getting all the attention that day. Like you can see the gears turning. Um, And I think that that's just like such a common thing. That happens as people want to, even if there is. Again, I'm just using. Queer women as an example, because that's where my brain's at. But if there's a, a queer woman, couple. Maybe one of them happens to be more masculine presenting. Maybe one of them happens to be more feminine presenting. Like the automatic assumption is still that the feminine presenting one. Is the like top tier bride. That that is still where all the attention is going. And that's, who's doing all the planning. Like people are looking to put couples. And people into boxes so that they know how to treat them. And of course, like I've been guilty of this. I know that I'm like, it's a natural thing for your brain to kind of want to understand. But I think that we just need to go into next year with less assumptions and more open-mindedness like, Every couple is so different. And especially as vendors and as people, allies, friends, family that want to support like the other. LGBTQ plus people in our life. Like I think if we can just go into it. With so many less assumptions. Just having a curiosity, nature, asking the couple of questions. And. Honestly, just like letting them run the show as it should be anyway, without any sort of assumptions, like. Great love that. Yeah, I just, I hope that that can be. The trend for 2024, because. It's such a beautiful thing about working with so many queer couples is that I get to see how all of them do things so uniquely and so differently with an each of their respective relationships. Um, You know, like people are out there breaking stereotypes all the time. Like maybe the more masculine quote unquote bride is doing the planning like Jose. Yay. We love that. Like, Let's just kind of enter into 2024 with. My trying to work on not having those assumptions. And trying to act actively be aware of not putting couples. Into boxes. All of this too, is, is not to say that if there is a queer couple who falls into some of these. You know, general stereotypes or. If you want to. You know, if, if some of the quote-unquote more traditional. Like roles and expectation, like still happened to apply in your relationship. And that's what feels true and genuine and authentic to you. Like, that's great. Like I'm not saying. That if you identify as a bride that like. You can't subscribe to the traditional bride things and be excited and love all the attention and all of this and that, like, if that feels like you, that's amazing, like. There's nothing wrong with still. You know, taking part in some of the quote, unquote, more traditional things. It's just that. I don't want that to be the automatic assumption because when we make assumptions like that, it leaves so many people. Out. And I just think that's so sad. So, yeah, for 2024. Let's stop all this BrightTALK and I promise you if you are like listening for it and are like, even just slightly more aware of it now, like. You'll start to see it. Like you will start to see. The ads, the marketing, the billboards, the. Use of the word bride. When talking about anything generally for, um, weddings, venues, vendors, like who is the bride, whereas the bride brides want this. Like, I just, I promise you. And I hope that it starts to make you feel a little bit weird too. Another thing along similar lines. Is just that. I'm not getting. Drop any names here, but there has been at least three to four weddings and just this season alone, like not even. Counting previous years, but just this 20, 23 year, I have been at three to four weddings. Where people, guests, vendors. Oh, my God. It's so sad. Like thinking about all of these stories that are like burned into my brain. It's so sad, but I can hear them saying bride and groom. Like they just say it. And sometimes they don't even realize that they said it like a lot of times people will like, kind of do that. Oh, uh, I mean the couple. Like, but sometimes they just straight up don't realize that they've just said it. And it's so. I get it. I understand that that's, it's kind of like a reflex for people to do. And also I think that we can be working to be better. And I think that a big part of this is just around like, Sort of like the scripts and templates that people use around weddings. You know, I know that a lot of DJs have like notes written out. Um, and maybe they're pulling from a template that has bride and groom written on it. And so it kind of just happens or. I don't know, even planners that have bride and groom getting pictures at blah, blah, blah. Like. I think that there are steps that we can take to help support us and not making those slip ups because. It's just not, it's just not a great look. And I don't think that. The couple's appreciate it. And yeah, maybe there's been a time or two where they haven't heard it, but trust me a lot of times they hear it and they're just like, All right. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. That just happened on our wedding day. So. I love to see in 2024 that we just kind of stop. With those slip ups and. Take active steps to sort of be taking that out of wedding day. Scripts. Um, of course in previous episodes, I talk all about taking bride and groom and all of that heteronormative sort of stuff. Off as much as like. Decorations and stuff like that as possible. But I think this particular one just applies to like, A lot of it happens with DJs because they do have microphone for a good majority of the ninth, but it also happens with guests too. Right? Like I've seen it happen during speeches and toasts for people just like. Literally, it just falls out of their mouth. And so I think just continuing to practice using gender neutral things, or just trying to have more awareness. And the last thing that I wanted to touch on. That also goes hand in hand with the idea of just going into 2024 with a more curious open-minded attitude is just sort of. Assumptions about like how couples will act or present or what they will wear on their day. I think there's still like, Even if a vendor is like, Super excited and has like experience working with, for example. Yeah, like a. Where there's two grooms getting married. Like there's still assumptions there about like, okay, well let's do groom. So they're both gonna wear this kind of Sue and they're both gonna want boot nears. And they're probably not going to want like hair and makeup or anything, like. That's just not true, like that does not apply. You know, I photographed a couple. It was two rooms. This past year that one of them had a bouquet. Like freak. Yeah, that's awesome. Like, I think it's just such a cool and easy transition to like, Instead of be making those kinds of assumptions, be like, what do you want to have on your day? Like, I'm just going to let you run the show. Um, I also did one. The summer where one of the grooms was wearing a suit, but then eventually switched into wearing like a jumpsuit. Like that's amazing. There's also a grooms who are like more drawn to wearing. Dresses or things that have a more like femme. Kind of energy, like. We just. We can assume, especially based on like what we see their presentation has. Like, I also see a lot of. Masculine presenting queer women rocking dresses. Like it just is like, just. Flat the couple around the show. Try again, to in 2024, come in with just such a curiosity about all of the couples. Asking questions. Like, it's just such a more beautiful experience when you can try to let go of how things are done. And I get it. Like I do also understand as a wedding vendor who has a lot of couples who you're working with. That there's something to be sad about, like having a workflow and being able to sort of expect what's going to happen on a day. Like, I understand that there's something there. And also I think that we can still like have more. More open-ended questions and our conversations. And start putting workflows in place that allow us to still. Serve the couple. Well, I'm not making those assumptions and letting that kind of ruin our whole workflow. And what am I going to do if I. If I thought I was going to only be making boot nears, but I have to make a bow K now or that sort of thing. So. Again, I think that the overall takeaway here is that. The things that I love to see staff in 20, 24 have a lot of to do about just like following. The traditional cadence of straight weddings and. Trying to make people fit into those boxes. Whether it's by, you know, trying to figure out who's the bride or saying things like congrats to the bride and groom or. Getting confused when someone in the couple doesn't want what we traditionally expect, like let's leave that behind in 2023. And let's approach 2024 with just like a new mindset, a new curiosity. And I think. I think it will be in a pretty good spot. So. Thank you for listening. I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you get excited for the next episode. Which is going to cover all of the trends and things that I'd love to see more of in 20, 24 or things that we should start doing. So before I sign off here. I would just like to share one last thing, which is that the clearly beloved podcast is looking for more queer couples to share their love stories. Throughout the rest of this year. And then two next year. I'm going to be putting more queer love stories into the rotation of this podcast, because I think that there's something so beautiful and honestly healing, just learning about other people's stories, experiences. Maybe you can connect and relate to what some people have experienced and even learn things from their experiences. So. If you and your boo would like to be on the podcast. Please send me a DM on Instagram at wildly connected photo. Or please send me an email expressing your interest. And you can email me@helloatwildlyconnectedphotography.com. This will all be in the show notes, but I'm super excited to hear more of everybody's love story is. Ah, I just love, love. And that is all I have for you. This. Episode. I hope you all are having an amazing day or evening, or whenever you're listening to this and I can't wait to catch you. And the next episode.