2 and a Possible

Used to be in English Honors: I know how to read a room

• Jimmy & Treble

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In this episode, the following topics are discussed in order

  • (0:40) Being too seen and the consequences of it 
    • People will get too comfortable with you but not know you fr 
  • (2:50) Getting other people's faces tattooed on you 
    • What if the person you get tatted turns out to be a P.O.S? 
    • Your body fluctuates that image my stretch or shrink
  • (7:30) Why do people feel the need to engage with stuff they hate?  
    • People will go out of their way to disagree with you 
    • Going out of your way to avoid living in an echo chamber is admirable 
  • (11:00) Sending a Happy Birthday text is the bare minimum 
    • You can schedule the message to be delivered later 
    • Saving contact bday in their name (pro-tip) 
    • Do women take birthdays more seriously than men? 
  • (13:50) People will show you who they are in your time of need 
    • Pride will cause you to suffer when you don't have to 
    • Peeping how people maneuver will help you be aware next time, and you can govern yourself accordingly 
    • Keeping that same energy is a way to dodge accountability /be shitty 
  • (18:30) No is a complete  sentence 
    • You don't owe people an explanation / people will weaponize the info you give them 
    • (19:00) Story about falling out as a result of talking too much yall be the judge 
    • Clear and concise communication will save you some headaches
  • (24:07) Pageants should not exist 
    • Going out of your way to meet a child isn't great optics 
    • A pageant can lead to you being  hypercritical of everything you do 
    • Lots of pageant contestants are forced into it 
    • What's an appropriate age to enter that lifestyle?
    • Modeling can be something you are prepared for, and you still be surprised with the results 
  • (31:00) Have beauty standards changed through time?
    • Are Beauty standards cyclical like fashion trends? 
  • (35:30) Read The Room for all that is good and holy (story time)  
    • (39:40) Should you lead with what makes you different when meeting new people? 
  • (41:10) Should you prioritize expressing your core beliefs or getting to know the other person when dating? And the pros and cons of both 
    • Is delaying certain convos a slippery slope? 
    • You want your partner to have your back in times of crisis / when facing adversity 
    • If you can't confide in your romantic partner, then who can you confide in? 
  • (48:04) Why do people insist on people who do not like them? 
    • Could you be in a relationship where you were entirely reliant upon your partner financially?  

Also bonus treat for making yall wait so long I'mma start linking the song the episode is titled after (breaking news in case you hadn't caught on yet all the Eps be song lyrics)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBEtnyz2efE

SPEAKER_00:

It's been a long time coming. Welcome back to the Two in a Possible podcast. We drop gems and spades. You already know who it is. I'm not going to lie. I was just going to act like nothing happened. Oh, my bad. Welcome to the Possible podcast. You know what I'm saying? We here, in here, like somewhere. You are so funny, dude. What's up with it? Ain't no elephant in the room. Yeah. All right, cool. We're going to get writing topics in? Yeah. All right, let me tell you about this. It's time for real topics. Why don't you say the intro again now? Welcome to the Two in a Possible podcast. We drop gems and spades. Bam. Jimbo? Let's go on and do it then. Boy, we swimming. All right. So, first thing, you know what I'm saying? There was an instance a while back, and we don't normally talk about, like, social media things, but it was an instance that was something we've discussed to some degree. Being too sane will get you in trouble. Oh, yeah. Saturation, for sure. No, no, no, no, no. What? Not in the saturation aspect. In terms of, like, attracting attention from people you don't need to know your move. Oh. Like, we've obviously seen it with, like, PNB block uh pb rock yeah that was rock yeah pb rock recipes and you know pop smoke something yeah i got you but there was an instance where this dude got popped in vegas because he was on live stream and his option knew where he was at i was like all right i mean i ain't gonna lie why Like, I mean, if you know niggas looking for you and they you on live, this is my literal where I am right now. Actually, I don't think he was live. I think he did. He was just in Vegas and the dude who popped him was live. His girl was live. Which is insane, but very incriminating. I don't know what you're talking about now. I haven't seen the video. But long story short, two dudes was heeding on the internet back and forth. He's like, I'm coming to your city this weekend. And thought Buddy wouldn't pull up on him. And Buddy pulled up on him. You know what I'm saying? Fired a couple shots. Kept him pushing. Crazy work. Crazy work. One, two scenes. Just stay out the way. Yeah. Everybody don't need to know your moves. Yeah. So what you mean is, okay, how do you feel about being away from a saturation standpoint now?

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

from a saturation standpoint i mean like i feel like i feel as if if you There is a way to be on the net too much though, right? For sure. That's what I'm asking. For sure. But being on the net too much removes the illusion of mystery and like makes people get too familiar with what you are. They feel like they know you even when they don't. Yeah. That's how you end up in situations where, you know what I'm saying, folks is calling you by names that shouldn't be called. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? A lot of people get super comfortable. Way too comfortable. Yeah. And then you're in awkward situations because you got to read enforced boundaries. Hell yeah. With people who think they know you. They're like, no, we gang. It's like, no, you're not gang. So I'm, I'm gonna go completely like left right here. There was a shorty at Publix who had a literal Lauryn Hill tattoo and it's literal the face of the shirt you have on right now. And it was on her arm. I didn't say, I didn't want to say anything to her. You feel me? Cause it's, it's kind of weird. You feel me? And I, what if I was wrong? But I kind of felt like I would know my fucking Lauryn Hill if I saw her. And I felt like that was Lauryn Hill. It was a pretty detailed tattoo, but how fucking corny is it? I like your tattoo. You feel me? So I didn't say nothing to her, but I thought that was pretty dope. I'm not a fan of getting... Maybe I'm a hater. We talked about tattoos a while back. You shouldn't get a significant other's tattoo. You wouldn't get a celebrity or artist or nothing? The face is crazy, though. The face is crazy. I think unless you literally say in my life. Like, I was suicidal. Young music helped me get through it. And even then, the face just feels weird. The face is crazy. Maybe this is, like, too heteronormative of me. Maybe it's too hyper-masculine and I need to get in somebody, get on the couch and talk to it about a therapist or whatever. But, like, I just feel like it's weird to get a dude tattooed on me, his face. And then, like, okay, there's women and, you know, non-binary people, sure. But it's also, like, it's still the face principle regardless of who it is. Like, it's like, I feel like you almost worshiping them at that point and it's kind of weird there's no way that that comes with good like good mojo whatever you want to call it it ain't even like the mojo because it's the thing people are people at the end of the day and like we've talked about separating the artists from the music and shit like that before but keep going if you if you uh This break is brought to you by thirst. Move on along. If you have somebody whose music helps save your life or whatever the case may be, or like, you know what I'm saying? Maybe you want$100,000 betting on DeMar DeRozan. I don't know. It don't matter. You're like, I got to get a tat to commemorate this. I get it. But how are you going to feel if like, let's just say you love Kid Cudi and then he comes out as like a child abuser and like a woman abuser, like just an overall piece of shit. And now you got a big-ass Kid Cudi tattoo on your chest, on your back, on your thigh, wherever you put it. Like, that's kind of crazy. And now you, like, do you have regrets? Like, think about it this way. It's a whole lot of Harry Potter fans in the world. And J.K. Rowling came out to be somebody who, like, they don't like. A lot of the general public don't like J.K. Rowling. So now you feel kind of dumb for having that inked on you? I'm all about people letting people do what the fuck they want to do. If you want to go type that shit up. Tap that shit up guy. Just don't be bitching about the fact you got to tie it on No, and I know we don't normally get in the pop culture, but the perfect example and we got it We got a dollar shelf and in the room here Drake Had that bond tattoo for ten years plus And like regardless how you feel about their relationship and how it doing them or not That's just a great example of why you get a tattoo with somebody and then y'all at odds and now you feel dumb. Yeah. Regardless of whether it's justified or not. So, I don't know. I feel like if I put somebody tattooed on me, they got to be dead. That book got to be closed. It got to be in memoriam. Like, I want you to live with me. I want you to live on with me. Even then though, I just, that's a lot. Face is crazy. I was saying name, birthday. Face is crazy. Because what if they They fuck up they face. I'm assuming you go into a quality tattoo artist. As a person wearing the tattoo, you go through weight changes yourself. Yeah, also true. Like, Lord forbid, you go on a bulk or a cut, or you have a thyroid issue, or you done put on a bunch of weight, or you on some steroids for medical reasons, and now you done put on some weight. Nah. But PGA, nah. Like, truly, like... Lord forbid you go get somebody face tag and your artists don't do a good job there. And now you got what's supposed to be somebody that look like much mouth or look like a Muppet or a kind of kid. Nah, that's bad. Yeah. I'm not feeling a tattoo shot either. Might as well double down on it. Um, Apologies, y'all. We haven't. We getting into it. Never mind. We backing on. That being said, I got a question for you. Why do people feel the need to engage with shit they hate? Like, we live in a rage-based society, and people fall for the trap time and time again. Yeah, I've always been on the thought of, like, sometimes you give it a little bit more attention if you talk about it, you feel me? So if you really didn't care that much, you wouldn't say nothing at all type deal. Exactly. That's how I feel. And, like, I've seen this in, like, very serious issues and very trivial things. I've seen people do this with shit like, why does ESPN always talk about the cowboy is in the Lakers, but they have the data that shows when they talk about other things, y'all tune out. So that's why they talk about it. But I've also seen this in an experience in my personal life where I may say something political, and then it's one person who go out of his way to slide up on anything political I say and be a contrarian. Even when I explicitly say, this ain't even a left or a right issue. This is a, I just want people to have more compassion. And they have my DM talking about some. What's not compassion? compassionate is, what? Where did you get this conclusion from? I said we should have more compassion. And you talk about, now you point a finger about something that wasn't even mentioned. It sounded like a personal vendetta towards you. The thing about it is, they be engaging with me about other stuff occasionally that's like, not necessarily positive, but like, don't have no malice behind it. Like, oh, I know you like cookies. Look at this recipe. Which is a crazy segue but yeah I got you I got you but it's like go out of their way and apparently go out of their way to do it with multiple people because somebody just slid up it was like I ain't gonna lie he be doing that to me too and like I had to block him da da da da so you just be on the internet waiting for somebody to say something you disagree with you got too much time that's why I had to find out as I got a noter like if you I don't know maybe you just want to on the other hand Seven billion people in this world, bro. You can't be that bothered by everybody else, though. At some point, everybody else got some kind of control. Yes, you can't be that bothered by everybody. My point is just that you're going out of your way to sign up on this stuff. If you are so passionate, why don't you just remove them from your life or from your feed? Is this a deliberate attempt to not have an echo chamber and not have a contrarian... Because that's respectable. That's actually very commendable. If you're going out of your way to not live in an echo chamber, which is very easy in this day and society, respectable. Yeah. But if it's, oh, no, I just like arguing or like I don't have any friends in real life. So, therefore, instead of, you know what I'm saying, engaging with people, I'm going to Twitter figure it. I'm going to DM you. I'm going to whatever. That's probably great. Yeah, I don't be, you know, you know, I don't get down like that. I don't be, you know, I say my little two piece and keep it moving. But I am open to intellectual other opinions, you feel me? But do it respectfully. I'm going to say something that I'm going to regret now, but we're going to put it on wax anyway. Well, fuck it. We got a society. Maybe I'm thinking too much. Maybe I got too much dip on my ship. You can disagree if you want. But sending somebody a happy birthday text message is really the bare minimum. And I'm going to tell you why. I recently discovered you can schedule that motherfucker like an email now. You could be like, on September 15th at 8 a.m., take so-and-so happy birthday in iMessages, and that mug will deliver September 18th at 8 a.m. Do you know how crazy that is? You ain't even got to remember it. You can remember it six months in advance. So, I saw on some business shit, I saw Floyd Mayweather, nigga, some of his contacts, he'll have have their birthday next to it. Hey, that's kind of fire. That's kind of fire. Every time you go to Texas. Okay. That's kind of fire. So let's just say if they, you know, you can advance yourself in the business world by doing that or even if it's not, if it's your real homie, you feel me? I think that's coming out outside too. But I was like, I want to hear it outside. These microphones that good? Hey, bro, we've been really impressed with our equipment quality these days. Look at that. I didn't know it was like that. Yeah. But yeah, what was we even talking about? Floyd Mayweather. But yeah, I think women take the birthday thing a lot more serious than men do.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I think I just got to a point where I like, if it's your birthday, I FaceTime you today. Well, I might not hit you the other day because everybody is probably hitting you the morning next day, though. I think it takes a very little amount of effort to reach out to somebody on their birthday. And... Like if there's somebody that's important to you, you can make them a priority. And I understand you might, my birthday doesn't necessarily mean that you having a good day or that you're on your phone. Like you still have your life to live, you feel me? But it's also like, try to make somebody a priority on their day. If they don't get no other, if you don't make them a priority the other days of the year, it would be nice to do. It's a nice gesture. And like, no big deal. But like, and to your point about women versus men, I think dudes give their friends a lot of benefit of the doubt. we should to some degree. Everybody deserves grace. But it's like, you're like, oh, he going to do something cool. I think women are like, I don't care that you're going to do something because it's my birthday. Like, you was going through something before my birthday, you're going to go through something after my birthday. But my birthday is still my birthday. And that's a valid, I can't be mad at that. Because you know what I'm saying? Because I got a partner and it's not to disrespect him or throw him under the mud. It's just to keep him to be. I got a partner who I had a situation where I was stuck in his city and I was expecting him to offer me residence on his couch. He didn't. And that kind of made me feel some type of way. Granted, the circumstances were not ideal for either of us in that moment, but I knew he had a couch. Right. And I'm in his city. Right. So like, even if you didn't mean it, you could offer, because my thing is like, when you at least ask if I'm cool. And when you, when you, uh, when you gonna need something, you gonna call me. So like, I feel like the one time I needed something in my life from you, you kind of let me down. So I've been looking at you a little different as after, after that guy on this show, we have talked about putting people in a position to figure out who the fuck they are. For sure. It's been a while, but yeah, for sure. I mean, I just, I still stand by that. I think like, would you have the, would you think that you would come to that same conclusion without this instance? That was my bigger point. No, but the other thing about it, for sure, you're right. But the other thing about it was, because, and this is maybe something I need to talk about, the therapy I just started recently, by the way, shout out, clap it up for mental health, y'all. Those aside though, um, Regardless of all that, it's just kind of like, to me, I pride myself on not needing nothing from nobody. You feel me? And I recognize that that's not always the healthiest mentality because sometimes I may suffer more than I need to because I'd rather get it myself. That's a word. Holy shit. You feel me? And that's something I'd be having to tell my people. Like, why suffer if you ain't got to? Like, there have been instances where it's like you went without something that you really, you knew people had. But I also recognize that sometimes you don't want to ask, you don't want to feel like a burden. But anyway, back to I don't ask this nigga for nothing. You know what I mean? Yeah, I didn't sleep on his couch. He didn't sleep on my couch type shit. But when I was sleeping on his couch, we was both in college. You feel me? So it's just a little different. Situations are complicated. And nonetheless, I wasn't trying to go on a slander campaign. It's just that I'm making a point, and this is, I guess, more granular, to how people maneuver in situations and show you who they are and then adjust and govern myself accordingly so that way I'm not in a position to disappoint myself a second time. As you need to be. I mean, some people need to, you need to find out whether people are people or whether they're friends and or acquaintances. Because they know, I mean, it didn't seem like it was big enough a deal for you to sever that relationship or no shit like that. But I would definitely, as we go forward from this instance, just know I feel some type of way. One, I know I feel some type of way, but two... I now know what to expect. Yeah, you feel me? If I'm ever in that situation, I know I don't need to call you. Yeah, for sure. You know what I'm saying? It's better I know now than later on. It's somebody right now in your phone who going to have a flat tire that's going to call you. Yeah. And one day, maybe you got a flat tire. And granted, you probably, you the type of nigga that can fix it yourself. You type, you can change, I can change a tire, and I'm not very handy. You know what I'm saying? It's not a huge, but the point of it is, there's going to be a point where you're in need, and now you know, if they don't come for you in your time of need, and they don't have a legitimate reason, then you kind of know, like, oh, I've been making you a priority, but you wouldn't make the smallest effort in my favor. Like, you know what I'm saying? So it's just something to peep, something to adjust on. You know, I don't like the phrase, and we've talked about this too, but circling back. I don't like the phrase, keep that same energy. I don't. Or imagine energy on God. Because I feel like it's a slippery slope. Yeah. And I feel like, you know, we've talked about this, but it's just like a way to dodge accountability or to be mean to people. Yeah. But regardless of all that, at the same time, if you see that the efforts aren't matched, maybe that'll give you an opportunity to put your efforts elsewhere. So you said accountability. If the situation was a rose or or if said person were to listen to this podcast and they were to bring this up to you, will you hold them accountable for that? For sure. Okay. For sure. I expect you to, I was just asking. No, this one, you got to hear from me because this is the thing.

UNKNOWN:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Once again, I didn't expect you to come through. In this world, no one owes you anything. No. And that's something I've been really good about lately. I'm really proud of myself. Clap it up for mental health, y'all. I'm really proud of myself. And you've been my friend for years, so this is something you probably have recognized. I often give explanations. Can we record today? Nah, we can't record because I got to do this, that, and the other. And while I pride myself on transparency. Everybody else don't. And people will weaponize that against you. So therefore, sometimes I'm just not getting comfortable with just saying no, period. And not no because, or no I can't, or no yada yada. Because sometimes it's just not worth the effort. And then people will weaponize it. I had an incident with one of my partners who I ain't going to say we fell out, but we hadn't spoken once. So we might as well have fell out if we hadn't fell out. Because I was going to DJ a function for him for the free off the strength. It was his full equipment though. You're going to bring both speakers. I was bringing everything and I was going to do it for the free. And like, he was like, nah, I'm going to pay you. I was like, nah, I'm doing it off the strength. Like, you know what I'm saying? Yo people, my people, you know what I'm saying? Just give me a plate and we Gucci. And I know you, that's a really good deal though. I know you're going to give me a plate regardless. Cause y'all are cooking. It's getting catered or whatever. You know what I'm saying? But he had asked me months in advance. I was like, yeah, I ain't got nothing going on that day. I don't got no wedding that weekend. And that was the only events that scheduled me that far in advance. It was like five, six months in advance. Cool. Four, five, let's go by here on the phone. She's like, pull up. I pull up. We're cool. We shoot the shit. I'm like, are y'all still having that little, that little thing going on? Y'all standing in a little situation. And he like, let me, I'll let you know. We having a planning meeting to confirm the final details, but it ain't official. So I keep it posted. We go by. In the time of that week, I discovered I wanted to go do something else out of town that same weekend. I was like, all right, cool. So long story short, I shoot Buddy a text. I'm like, hey bro, are y'all still having it? He said, yeah. I'm like, all right, cool. I said, I made a to you. I'm going to honor that commitment. And I know initially I said I was doing it for free. You said you was going to pay me. Well, I'm just letting you know, I expect whatever this money is because I'm honoring the commitment that I made to you and I'm sacrificing something else. So now I'm not getting paid for my services. I'm getting paid for my sacrifice. Does that make sense? Yeah. So I was like, look, I expect$200 point blank period for providing this sound for this event. Because instead of doing what I want to do, I'm honoring the commitment. Mind you, it's a month before the event. You're having this conversation a month before the event. Okay. After the initial A, can you do this in five, six months? Yes. Okay, cool. I'm going to get back with you. And then he got back with me. Then it was a, let me let you know. So this is after all that? Yes. Okay. And I got the text messages to prove it. And it's still a month before they- A whole month. Okay. Four whole weeks. Cool. Right? I'm like, hey, I've discovered this thing going on out of town. I would like to go to it, but I haven't bought no plane tickets to go to it. So let me know if y'all doing it or not, because I would like to go. He's like, are you trying to cancel? I was like, no, I'm honoring the commitment. I just want to know if it's to confirm. He said, it's confirmed. I said, okay, cool. I want$200 for it. He goes, so you charging me more because you want to do something else? I would have gave you a deposit. That was the issue. It was never money. That was the issue. I said, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's for keeping me from doing something else. I'm honored to come in. For anybody else, a month in advance. I feel like you could have got there if you would have worded it differently. Sure. But I also explained this too. And I realized my words may not have been carefully selected. And we can read the text messages and you can determine it for yourself, regardless of which. The point of the story was, and I explicitly said for anybody else, I would have canceled. A month early, you can find a DJ in a month. I said, I've taken gigs two, three days in advance. Sometimes same day of. I said, you can find another DJ. And mind you, the rate I was offering was still relatively cheap. You feel me? How many hours? It was probably going to be like four or five hours.$200 is a deal.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

But once again, I'm like, I'm still giving you a discount or whatever. But he was like, I thought more of you. And I thought we had a better relationship than you to try to tax me because, and I would have gave you a deposit. And I said, well, you let me know if you want me to come. He's like, don't worry about it. I said, all right, cool. So I went on my trip and came and pushed it. And that's not to disparage him or anything. The point I was saying was all of that could have been avoided. The whole situation could have been avoided if I just said no. But instead of saying no, it was no, I need X, Y, Z. And I've been doing a lot better about not telling people the reason for shit and just giving them the answer. Because sometimes the reason gets you into a can of worms that can spiral. And now you got a whole situation on your hands that could have been avoided if you just shut the fuck up. Ladies and gentlemen, this is called clear and concise communication. For sure. Point to A, B, communication. My homegirl said, brevity. You ever heard of brevity? I had to Google it. I'm going to Google it. But after we talk about brevity, we can switch gears if you want with other topics. But we've been on this one for a little minute. Brevity. She told me the is brevity. And I can't spell, so shout out to Google for correcting. Yeah. Actually, you said it. Brevity, by definition, concise and exact use of words in writing or speech. So, all right. That being said, let's switch gears. So, here's something. I don't think pageants should exist. I don't think it is. So didn't have Netflix had that, uh, that weird thing where they were doing like the beauty pageant. And then they had, um, they had, uh, basically little girls twerking gang on the damn, like trying out for like to some dance team or whatever the fuck. And they got cameraman in here. The, uh, the damn, the damn dance moms is in here and some more shit. So all these motherfucking grownups and no one, no one has an issue. No one, they end up canceling the show. I think it was like a year or two ago, but I don't even, I don't even understand how they got traction from the first place. Like what? Two things here. One, I also saw something similar where they had the little girl who was doing the trail ride dances. Yeah. And it was like having paid meet and greets where grown men could come hold her. Yeah. That's a little weird. You paid to hold a little girl. That you don't know. Excuse me. This ain't your niece. You came from out of town. I just understand that's what just happened. Her family facilitated pay. This is not literal prostitution. And to wrap it all up. I saw it on the internet. Yeah. It's a little weird. And these could have been very wholesome I mean, hell yeah. But the optics are not good. You wouldn't hear about me paying to go holding a little girl. That's interesting. Going out of your way to meet a celebrity that's a toddler is a little odd. That is fascinating. Because it's a child. It's literally a child. That is fascinating. I can understand if it's an adult. I can understand if he was paying for your shorty to go meet, your little kid to go meet. You feel me? That's not the kid. You know what I'm saying? You feel me? That does make sense. Because in their mind, that's their friend. You feel me? You know what I'm saying? If my kid wanted to meet Miss Rachel, that makes sense. if Miss Rachel wanted to be my kid, that ain't as bad because Miss Rachel is actually for the kids. Yeah. But if it was anybody else, it's a little hard. Yeah. I find that a little interesting. What was that? Oh, I thought you dropped your phone. Anyway, man, these mics are excellent. Boy, did they get a buff? I wasn't familiar with all that. There was an update on the microphones. They're clearly better than they used to be. Or maybe we adjusted some audio settings and we were and we'll have to do some troubleshooting. Anyway, back to the story. Pageants. Yeah. Psychologically, and I'm not super versed in it, I'm not super deep in the weeds, I ain't done too much reading, but you can't. You know anybody who do? I know some people who did, not currently active. Okay. Yeah. Psychologically, you have to have an incredible foundation to successfully get through the pageant life cycle without having some self-confidence issues because now you're hypercritical of everything you do, how you speak, how you talk, how you enunciate, your talents, your beauty, how you look in a bathing suit, whether or not you can tap dance, whether or not you, your hair is easily stylable, whether or not you could walk in heels. You also got into this and you were like, a lot of these kids didn't have a choice. A lot of them were volunteered into it. And I think the thing about it is, is it kind of makes sense from a parent perspective until you think about the actual reality. If it's, I want my child to be their best version of themselves, that is not Nothing to poo-poo on. That ain't nothing to be ashamed of. But what is to be ashamed of is now your child can't look at a bag of chips without feeling self-conscious. Or now your child... has a scripted answer for every question they'll ever be asked. And now your child has an eating disorder, or now your child has body dysmorphia, or now your child has all these various psychological issues that are directly rooted to them being hyper-criticized by a committee of adults repeatedly. Just pageants in general. I just feel like it's not a good place to put a child. I don't think it's a great place to put anyone in, but especially not a child. You can argue about a lot of things when it comes to children, too. I feel like children should be old enough to make their own choice on whether they want to do such a thing or not. What do you think is an appropriate age? It depends on your child's maturity. I'm going to be real. I think that would be for a woman to answer because I I don't know anything. I wouldn't know nothing about that, to be real. I don't even think I've ever been to a pageant, nigga. Clap it up for women, y'all. I don't know shit about shit. I don't know nothing about that. But you can argue like, okay, my barber, his son wanted to get into football, and he having a back and forth with his wife about how old he is to get in and tackle. You feel me? That's a real conversation. Now, at nine years old, I don't think you worried about no real really big hits, but you feel me? When we started talking about high school ball, we talking about some real, like these boys was really hitting. I don't even think, well, there's always one headhunter at that range. I think it's also just a volume thing. Like, can we limit these? Is it crucial to your development as a football player to be playing tackle at eight? Not really. Yeah. You can be playing flag and still getting your footwork still. You know what I mean? Learning your fundamentals. Yeah. But we also have plenty of football players who started playing in like high school. Mm-hmm. We're good. Shout out to Brandon. I think he made Allstate and he started as a freshman. You know what I'm saying? Kind of things like that. Anyway, long story short, pageant's kind of wild when you think about the psychology behind it and what you could be doing and the trauma you could be forming. You can argue about the same thing about models, too. I mean, even after the fact, around our age, you can still develop some of those things. But once you get to that age, as far as our age goes and you're a model now, I'm sure you've probably been in the game for a little bit. Not necessarily, but for sure. My thing to your point about the modeling aspect, even if you're fully cognitive and ready in that moment, like let's just say you're 17, you probably know right from wrong and know what you signed up for and know you're going to be getting looked at by thousands of people, maybe millions, right? Cool.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

There's still such a shock and awe to the editing that occurs. You could feel really good about how you look and then see what get published in that magazine, what makes Instagram, and be like, that don't look like me. That's not what I see when I see in the mirror. When I look in the mirror, that's not who I am. And now you're like, dang, do I need to strive towards that look? And then you think about how that affects all the other people seeing you. It's like, dang, she got no ways, literally no waste. And then it's like, Oh, I don't want to waste. I want to be a model too. Hot take. Do you think the, what we see as beauty from a digital standpoint has changed as we gone through time? I got this, that things because as I, When we were younger, we didn't see as many as bigger bone models. You feel me now? Shout out to the neck. Nowadays, you feel me, it's a little bit different. You think beauty standards have changed since we've. Yeah, that's societal. You think it's going to happen regardless? That's just how life progresses in my perspective. Like, you know, we went through a phase of skinny as possible was the prettiest woman. Then it was like, you know, J-Lo, Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, Big Buds. And, you know, then that led to BBLs. And then eventually the cycles don't refer back to whatever. And this is not to be funny when I say this, and I don't like this comparison, but I think it's similar. So I'm going to use it. I think it's cyclical. I think, you know what I'm saying? Back in the day, B and fat was seen as a sign of prosperity because it meant you had enough food to eat in abundance, like excess. It was like, oh, so it was like, it wasn't nothing to be ashamed about. I was like, nah, I got money. And, you know, fitness goals, whatever, things have changed. But then you look at it from a, the comparison I was going to make is fashion. A lot of what we wear is the opposite of what our parents wear. So you think about like when we was like early teens, the hottest thing out was skinny jeans. But you think about your parents is coming up in the 80s, 90s, it's the baggiest clothes possible. It's crisscross, it's, you know, and then you think about the early 2000s, XXL white tee on five foot five guys that weigh 145 pounds. So based on the information I've got for you, then you were going to revert back? For sure. I think it's a matter of time when the skinniest woman possible is going to be the epitome of beauty standards. So like, while, you know, being plus sized is like what's trending now, I think it's it's cyclical. This is deep. I think it's just like, you know, people's change. Cause this is the thing being the commodity is the commodity and that's cool. But like, it's always going to be one person. Like I want something different. And if that person is influential enough, people are going to emulate them. And then it's like a domino effect. And it may be a bunch of those difference makers. You know what I'm saying? It's like, uh, new balances are really, really popular right now. And you remember when we was a high New Balances was like barely tolerated. But like in middle school, you would get made fun of. And now it's like, dang. And not only is it New Balances, it's not like one style. It used to be like, you know what I'm saying? The one that looked like the Asics, you know what I mean? And now it's like the trainers, like the runners. And they look like the Balenciaga trainers. But you notice also the Balenciaga trainers ain't popular right now. But what is popular is like, like them Rick Owens boots shoe that look like a Chuck Taylor. It's literally like cyclical. So right now the inexpensive running shoe was popular. but the expensive casual shoe is popular. And those aren't necessarily correlated, but my point is it's cyclical, and I think beauty standards change with time. I think people's preferences change, and I think you like what you get less of. Ooh, that's a word. What? Because if it's an overabundance, and to your point, saturation, if it's like, oh, it's so many fat, so many women with fat asses, there's so much big butts. Yeah. And it ain't like... It's like, oh, you different. Oh, okay. Come here, Miss Unique. Like, you know what I'm saying? Especially if that woman confident in her uniqueness or was not the most popular thing. That's sexier than having a popular thing sometimes. It's like, oh, you proud. Ooh, yeah, rock it, girl. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you ever seen somebody in a trash fit but confident? You know, hey, he's styling that thing, I guess. Or her, whoever is like, hey, you like it, I love it. But if you can hold it, your head high when you're doing whatever it is that you're doing, that's going to get people to give you benefit of doubt. Yeah, I got you. I got you. You wrapped it up. Okay, I'm agreeing with you then. I'm in the car with you. Word, word, word. So I had a situation a few weeks back. Oh, man. Hutch was here, actually. We went downtown to this bar. And we was at this bar and there was this woman of Caucasian variety So one of our mutuals was like, she pretty. And then Hutch was like, yeah, she is pretty. And I ain't say nothing, but I was thinking she is pretty, but I left it alone. And then Hutch was just commenting, cause you know, he don't left here no more. He was just like, man, I thought this was a more upscale bar and she ain't hit a real casual. So he was just commenting on her fit. Like, oh, she real comfy. I'm like, yeah, it's kind of a mixed breed, but whatever. Shawty pulled up on us. Three, three, the three Negroes, not the three amigos, the three Negroes pulled up on us. Hey, I'm like, what's up? Somebody asked her where she from. I don't know who it was. She's like, I'm originally from Indiana. Yada, yada, yada. She's an Indian. There you go. You love that joke, nigga. She's an Indiana woman. Anyway, she's like, I'm originally from Indiana. I'm like, oh, so when did you move here? Like, was it for school, for work? You got family out here. Shawty's like, you're going to hate me. I'm like, what's up? I'm like, no, I live in a pretty safe space. Like, you know what I mean? She said, I want to move to a more red state. And I was like, oh. And I didn't say nothing. I was chilling. And then I caught eye contact with somebody and I made a face and she called me. Anyway, long story short. And here's the what. We talked to her for a couple more minutes and then she went about her business. But I just think people be either empathetic Antagonizing people are lacking situational awareness that put them in situations that are less than ideal. Just don't get me wrong. Not all black people are left-leaning. Not all black people are, you know what I'm saying, liberal. But... Why would you go up out of your way to run up on three white people you don't know and tell them you wanted to be in a more conservative area? Also, she didn't do no homework because the bar we were at was a woman-owned bar that's a queer safe space. And Huntsville is relatively progressive as a city. So I was like, did you do any research at all here? And we might need to edit this out. I mean, so after she said that to you, that was it? She didn't get no motion with nobody over there? She was like, see, he hates me because she saw me make a face. Oh, well. And I was like, oh, I hate you. And she was like, he's lying. Well, that's an interesting way to segue to yourself to, first of all, to segue yourself to a stranger. Secondly, to say that this is a reason why you moved here. Now, I'm not saying that's invalid for me to do with you. If you want to be in a more, a climate you're more comfortable in, that's very admirable. Thank you. I mean, if that's something that you, and the fact that you have the ability to do that because there's a lot of people who are stuck in their political situations in other countries that can't leave, which is a burglary. So cool.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I do find all this just very interesting. It was just weird. Because I was like, why would you go out of your way to volunteer this? Yeah. Like, by herself? She said she was by herself? She moved out by herself? She was on some weird stuff. She talked to everybody in that book. Oh, okay. Sounded like the drugs were starting. Possibly. But, like, we was trying to figure out if she was with somebody because she was talking to a dude more than everybody else. But then, like, it was weird because... I don't know what they situation was, but like truly. Something like this spot was mid. You talking about in terms of, like, the ratio or just what was going on? No, just the, I mean, like, just in general. Seemed like it wasn't popping. I can tell you the name of it if you want me to. No, that's cool. I'm cool going down to Osweil. I bet you are. I also bet you've been here once.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. I'll give you a little hint, and I bet you can guess. I think that deep. Okay. Moving on. Anyway, but needless to say, I just thought that was a little odd. I do think it's odd, too. I don't feel like I will put myself in a situation to lead with what makes us different. Yeah. Not that I'm ashamed of my differences. Okay. This is a good segue. Okay. Not that I'm ashamed of what makes me and you different or me and everybody else in the world. But when it's something that's potentially divisive and I'm trying to make friends, I don't know what her intention was. I truly don't. But assuming she was there non-maliciously, because I don't think she was there maliciously. Yeah. I don't think I would leave with something that's, you don't start with the controversial stuff. And I understand we put her on the spot. We asked her what she moved here for. I appreciate her honesty and her transparency there. But at the same time, Knowing your audience is important. And I ain't saying she should have had an answer pre-made up because maybe she wasn't expecting that conversation. But I feel like that was a very natural progression of a conversation. Hey, hey, how y'all doing? We good? What's your name? Oh, I'm so-and-so. Oh, where you from? Why'd you move here? That's a very logical next question. Is it not logical? No, you good. So, therefore, like... Did you just go out of your way to... Okay, so how do you feel? So how do you feel about when, and this is really big for women, which you have every right to, and that's something I do agree. How do you feel about, especially in that 80s thing, when people go straight for it, just to go ahead and get the answer on whether we on the same boat or not. You feel me? Instead of trying to get to know the person. before y'all align with each other's views and shit. I'm not mad at either approach, but I'm going to give two caveats. Okay. I think if you're going to rip the Band-Aid off, I think part of your, it shows you're intentional about who you're interacting with, which is respectable. And maybe you want to be more long-winded, more, you may want to be long-term dating, marriage. You're looking for very significant relationships and you don't even want to bother wasting that effort. As people, it's important to have your significant other to at least be, you feel me? Like-minded? Yeah. Similar values, at least. At least similar values. For sure. We're agreed. And I just had this conversation with my homegirl, but nonetheless, right? So I think if you're intentional about ripping that bandaid off and seeing if y'all have those major barriers to entry, respectable. I think if you're waiting, that's fine. Maybe you don't want to have the conversation within five minutes that means no writing. Maybe it's not even a first date conversation, which is fair. I don't think you should waste that person's time though. So how soon would you bring it up? The first date? It ain't even necessarily a first date thing. I think it's when it comes up, it comes up. Cool. But you don't go out of your way to avoid it. And or when you recognize an issue, you address it as soon as possible. Because it may be as simple as like you sent like a, let's just say an SNL skit or like a meme or something that had a little political commentary in it. they respond in a way you don't like, you might just want to ask for clarification. Like, is this not something you value or is this something you disagree with? And then you can go from there. But- I think shying away from the conversation, once it comes up, it shows a lot who you are. I think it does. But I think what's more interesting to me is I think that's the slippery slope. That's how people end up in relationships with people they aren't in alignment with politically or how you are. And then they're like, I like them too much. We're too in, we're in too deep. And now one of y'all is making accommodations or y'all live in a household where y'all just have a constant elephant in the room and y'all raising, potentially raising a child together that's confused. Okay. The original question, nigga, how do you feel about when people, do you feel as if, okay, so if a woman approached you as she already, you just gave us an answer how she approached you, you wouldn't really feel in there. And it seemed like in a spot like this she was a little she was casually dressing you was kind of cool you feel me from the get go but how do you feel as if if someone were to bring that to you and she was at least physically attractive. That girl was fine. She was an attractive woman. Things like that deal breaker for you, especially if someone, not necessarily how she views things, because I feel as if we probably get a little far here, but I feel as if it's not hard to be mingled with other people who have different views. Agreed, but especially in terms of romantic partner. And we, this is a great way to either wrap it up or will us to dance on this ice delicately in my mind. All right. Here's the thing, right? Whether or not you think it's cool to have friends of various demographics, not even demographics, that's the wrong word, various political ideologies, that's up to you. That's up to everybody for their conscience to clear up, right? That's a personal decision. But I think everybody, in theory, should want a safe space in their romantic partner because that's who you confide in most often. That's the person you expect to have your back at all times. And when there's a potential conflict there and it's rooted in belief, and not like very trivial, non-substantive conflict, now you're questioning who you confide in, who you trust. You're questioning their allyship towards you. Because now if, for example, right? This is a bad, and we may edit this out, but in theory, right? If I'm dating outside my race and then they don't believe in Black Lives Matter or something like that, that's directly related to black people. And then there's something that occurs, I don't know where you stand. I don't know if you gonna have my back. I think you just telling the story so you can get, so everybody can feel you. I don't think you was dancing on ice in there, but I feel like you just telling a story so people can feel you. I agree with you too, because I feel like it's important to know that before the situation arises. For sure. Because I don't want to get into a gunfight and find out you're a pacifist. And that's a bad, that's an analogy. But like my point is, I don't want to pressure to hit and find out you fold. I want to know where you stand a little before. Also, this is a good segue. Cause this is a conversation that Hutch put in the group chat. Shout out to Hutch. He used to provide a lot of content for us today. I might have to start him five hours on the cash of the apps. Uh, that being said, and this is actually what inspired, he was explaining to me that, uh, he was in a chat and he was saying that, uh, Some girl, essentially, and I'm forgetting because he'd been talking a lot lately. Some girl basically was like, I can't stand when a nigga confides in me or something, something, something else. He'd be vulnerable with me. Go man up. This is what it was. She said her dude was crying about something. He was like, I feel like that's a double standard. Women always want a vulnerable man until they get a vulnerable man. Also, if you can't confide in your girl who can you confide in like if you can't confide in your romantic partner and that's a very valid point if you can't be vulnerable with the person you're intimate with who on earth can you be vulnerable how much shit on earth some more I think it's actually inhumane to think that a regular person can't just have fucking emotions regardless of what they are yeah if knowing as men if we know that and I'm actually crying that means I didn't I asked from a male perspective it had to be something to actually get me there. You feel me? Whether you feel like it's valid or not, as me being a human being, that's how I feel. And this is my emotional reaction to what's happening. To say that To think somebody is less of who they are because of giving a natural emotion is kind of whack. Agreed. Yeah, it is a real whack. And obviously, it's a double standard, too. We know that you wouldn't feel that way if she was on the other foot. We expect you to be supported by that person. Do you even like this dude? Really? That's a segue in and of itself, though. Why do people be so insistent upon dating people that don't like them?

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

You want me to elaborate? Yeah. Or like somebody that hasn't proven that they actually like you themselves. I wouldn't even go in there, but they work too. They work too. I like that. But they prove time and time again in the way that they treat you that they don't like you. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You know, I was just three minutes late and they just left. Or, yeah, he doesn't open the door for me. And those are bad examples. But the point of it is, is the way they treat you, I'm not going to say it's inhumane. but it doesn't signify that they're actually invested in your emotional, your mental, physical wellbeing. And it's like, you just stick around because you're so attracted to them or because the sex is good, but they treat you like they don't like you. And we just be, we as a society are conditioned to just accept it. And I under, you know what I'm saying? People be in love with people that don't like them. This is sucks, but it's really bad for, stay at home moms and I this is pretty hot take but I think women should practice with discernment when they are announcing that they would love to be a stay at home mom or whatever or that's they quote unquote traditional shit because you gonna get hits hits as a man as a men that are only going to approach you or going to court you because they would like I mean they don't have like mama no more. You feel me? So I need my laundry done. I need my bed ready. And, you know, it'll take you eight, nine, ten years to realize that you really just got with me in the sense that I'm going to take care of you. Yep. Opposed to you. So do you actually even like me? Yep. So it's important. So I would just practice with discernment when you put your romantic partners or significant others, not necessarily to a test, but really pay attention now. Because the How your significant other shows how she cares for you may be different than, you feel me, because we two different people. And how y'all get down is different. I mean, how y'all get down is different than how we get down. I got a question for you. What up? Speaking of stay-at-home moms, could you be in a relationship where you weren't the breadwinner? Hell yeah. I'm going to fuck. So, oh, I'm getting there. I agree. And I think I could as well. However, I recognize a couple of things that you also are going to be like, yeah, that's very true. I think historically men have weaponized money and currency to make women docile and cool because they were dependent upon them. Yeah, I think it's also like a legal standpoint, too, because women have only had their rights, like what, the 70s? Yes. Or, you know, suffrage. Cool. But also in terms of like... some of these new niggas or whatever, it'll be one more like a very promising career. It's like, I want you to quit that job. I want you to quit that job. And I think it's partially because if they're the breadwinner, she doesn't have the assets to leave them as quickly. I think it's a control thing too. Doesn't have a community that isolates you from your community. And then to go a little further, it's kind of like a, you don't have the resources. So where are you going? You got to stay with me. You want me to stay with you? You want to eat? Yeah. You want to live with your mama? Yeah. Those are your options. Yeah. You want to live with me or your mama? And then when a lot of cases, you know, women have been away from the workforce for so long. The skills aren't there anymore. They've been left by the previous generations. And now here's a psych surgeon. Yeah. So I think knowing that, I don't think it's too many women trying to manipulate me with money. You feel me? And then if they are, okay, I guess I phrased the question badly. Yeah. Breadwinner, because you could still make bread and not be the breadwinner. Yeah. Would you be comfortable being totally reliant upon a woman for your financial and or your significant other, like for your well-being and all your needs? Nah, I wouldn't be okay with that. Is that due to a personal pride and like wanting to feel self-sufficient thing or a concern about being manipulated? Nah, well, I think it'd be situational. Am I just, I mean, am I injured so I can't fucking do it myself? If I'm 100%- That's strictly a, you ran up on, you coincidentally ran into Zendaya and she got money and she's like, y'all need to work. I got you. I'm cool. Because I want you to come to this red carpet and you got a meeting. Because like from a mental standpoint, I like to be, I have a progressive mental and I really want to just be doing something. So I don't think I could like, even like from like, I know a lot of people like fucking Hank, he can drive from here to fucking Texas. Okay. Well, red. Uh, Jimmy gonna take him a little snip, a little sleep or something in between there or something. I can't do it. I'm cool, homie. So that's just, I don't know. So any, almost anything after like four or five hours, I'm pretty much bored with it for real. So I kind of like try to make sure I do like different stuff. Yeah. This is why I try to chase two degrees instead of one. You feel me? So, um, yeah, but no, I was just curious if it was a, you feel like they're trying to take advantage of you. So where if it was just like, I just need something to keep me occupied slash I have to look at myself in the mirror and not be a freeloader. Yeah, I don't think even like from like a personal standpoint, I don't think I ever could be a freeloader. Now, it'd be different if I was like... Could you do it if you were a stay-at-home dad? I ain't got a problem being a stay-at-home dad. I ain't gonna lie. We're gonna have him in line for surely. He said we're running this like the Navy. Boy, we're gonna have him in line, but I wouldn't mind that. What did Denzel say? We'll be perfect. You drop a pass, you run a mile. Yeah, we're gonna We're going to be all right. We're going to be all right for sure. If I want to football, I'm going to put my foot up. And then you go on a mile. Well, you know, because at some point, kids got to go to school. So I can give me some little motion while they at school. What if you're homeschooled? I'm the damn teacher too, gang. Fuck. I was just asking hypothetically. Man, I don't. Do I ever get time without the fucking kids? Yeah. All right. All right.