Empowered by Hope
You want the best possible quality of life for your child regardless of diagnosis or prognosis. Raising a child with medical complexities is often lonely, scary and overwhelming. Join two parents of amazing children with rare medical complexities, Emily K. Whiting and Ashlyn Thompson, to get help and grow with them into empowered advocates for our kids. Here you’ll find a community of support, encouragement, education and resources, equipping you to navigate your child’s medical complexities with hope. To get more personal support, connect with us directly at www.ParentEmpowermentNetwork.org.
Empowered by Hope
Smash A Plate, Not Your Nervous System
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New year energy can feel fraudulent when you’re parenting through hospital stays, procedures, and constant logistics. We’re trading perfection for something truer: a simple ritual to release what hurts and a short list of keepers that actually help us breathe, love, and carry on. No grand resolutions, no reinvention—just small, honest choices that hold up under real life.
We start with a plate-smashing ritual—yes, really—to mark what we’re done carrying: self-depletion, people-pleasing, and the belief that unconditional love demands self-abandonment. Then we move to what stays. Laughter on purpose, curated so it finds us even on hard days. Childlike wonder that turns clouds, stars, and tiny flowers into quick routes back to calm. Ten minutes of morning prayer for alignment when the schedule is anything but predictable. Deep breathing to reset a nervous system trained by years of fight-or-flight. A phone in the “peace and presence” basket so feeding, rocking, and bedtime become connection instead of multitasking. And self-advocacy—asking for what we need from care teams and our circle without apology.
Along the way we reframe mistakes with grace. You can name a misstep and still honor your heart. Own it, repair, and try again. That stance—gentle and steady—makes space for gratitude to grow, even in grief. We talk practical tools for caregivers of medically complex kids, from boundary-setting to micro-rest, and how to build a more regulated baseline without pretending life is easy. This is trauma-aware, faith-rooted, and deeply human.
If this conversation gave you breath or language for your own reset, follow and share it with another caregiver who needs hope. Subscribe, leave a review, and email us your “leave behind” and “keepers”—we’d love to hear what goes on your plate and what you’ll carry forward.
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Whether you've just been blindsided by your child's diagnosis or you've been in the trenches of their complex medical needs for a while, Empowered by Hope is here for you. Though we wish you didn't know this heartache. We're so glad you found us. So together we can walk this journey in hope.
SPEAKER_03:We've been absent a bit from the world of podcasting in terms of new episodes, though our fantastic social media and communications person, shout out to Kelsey, has been sharing a lot of our earlier recorded podcasts that we realized just didn't frankly get the love or the attention they deserved simply because Emily and I had no idea what we were doing for the longest time. And I still say that could fall somewhat under debatable, but uh the beauty of that is I think that's just acceptance of being humans and it being okay that we don't have it all together all the time. And so with us officially officially launching this 2026 new era, new season, we're going to be embarking in with Empowered by Hope, brought to you by Parent Empowerment Network. Just a little reminder. Emily and I decided it is a perfect way to start the year, which we don't use the word perfect very often, to start it off with reflecting a bit about 2025, but we're gonna come at it from this angle, and we invite you to do this with us. Like we really, really invite you, encourage you to consider doing this, okay? We're gonna talk about what are we saying maybe three things each approximately that we are leaving behind in 2025, okay? And then we're going to round it out with what are three things we are carrying forward from 2025 into 2026, because we're kind of doing our own rework on, you know, the whole resolution thing. I think that's kind of been out of style for a while, from what I understand from the younger kids, because I have to officially say that it feels like now. It ripes 37. Right. Uh huh. And uh Emily is younger than I am, so you can say your age if you like. Hardly. 35. There we go. We're out in the open now. We're expecting it. And it's wonderful. Wonderful. Yes. It is. So there's been like the resolution thing, is what I remember forever, which was, you know, go to the gym every day because that was feasible. Um, you know, basically become a whole new person every year felt like the gist of it for a long time. Yeah, I don't resolution. No, well, no. Uh-uh. I mean, I I'm curious how many people ever actually completed. I'm sure plenty did complete resolutions. I'm not one of them, and I'm okay with that now. But uh the other trend I know uh what uh was popular, I I can't speak to if it is popular. Uh it shifted to picking a word for the year, something to focus on, right? And um, like I would hear people pick a word for their uh their personal lives, um, and also maybe pick a word for their family to focus on, which I thought that was pretty cool. That was great. Usually lasted about seven days for me on average, sometimes a little longer. Um yeah, so my mom and sister came to me with this really, really cool tradition. I say tradition because others have done it elsewhere for a long time, apparently, and it really fit my need for somatic input. And that the the thing is what you do, right? So the thing that you do is you take a glass plate and you write on this plate what you are leaving behind. You are done carrying it, you are going to move forward and release whatever that that weight was, that negativity, that whatever you want to call it, folks. And then the fun part is you go outside, oh wait, back up a step, put it inside a bag, okay, or maybe get a big uh a box and you're gonna take this plate outside and you are going to smash it. I say the bag or the box so that way you don't end up and don't do just a plastic bag because if you smash it with as much vigor as I did, you're gonna be cleaning glass up for a few days. I did this, we did this for New Year's Eve. Oh, I have a video, I'll share it.
SPEAKER_01:You're gonna need to share that when you post this podcast. Yes.
SPEAKER_03:And and here's the thing: what I realized is I am not only saving this for New Year's Eve. Okay, you can, we all have the right to decide at any moment in our lives and to decide over and over again about the things that we want to leave behind. It's just a beautiful, but very uh meaningful way of acknowledging: okay, there is something that is not working for me. I am aware of it. I'm not gonna judge myself, I'm not gonna punish myself, I'm not gonna resign myself to this way of living. I'm going to intentionally release it from myself. Go smash a plate, uh, or go write it on a piece of paper and and burn it or shred it or you know, whatever you want to do. Um, but get rid of it. Okay, I'm dying. I felt like Thor. I felt like Thor. Like I need to know Thor.
SPEAKER_01:If you're willing to share, what were your three things you wrote?
SPEAKER_03:I need to know. Okay. Well, I mean, well, I mean, I would so I just put you remember, Murcia. She did. Well, oh no. So uh I'm focusing on three things for this podcast, and you're gonna focus on your three things for this podcast. But but in all fairness, what I wrote on my plate is because I realized there is no plate big enough currently to hold all the things I am feeling at this moment I want to leave behind. So what I did instead was I wrote around the outside of the plate, I am leaving behind all the things that no longer serve me, are not positive and healthy for me or my family. And and then I said, Dear God, please let that cover it all. No, no accidental like um ambiguity that like you know creates a loophole for something to sneak through.
SPEAKER_01:That is so amazing. I love it. I can't wait to watch this video.
SPEAKER_03:It's short and it's funny, and it's so me because you can see my face instantly go, I knew I was gonna shatter it everywhere because my mom and my son, Cole, did one too. And of course, theirs was very like neat and replaced. And I don't know. I mean, theirs stayed within their bag. Mine like there was hardly any bag left by the time. And this was with one just solid. That's why I said I felt like Thor, like the thunder or the the hammer thing. Um, forgive me, Marvel Universe. I I really do love the movies. I just can't ever remember names of anything important. I'm no smacks the hammer, holy cow, that's what I felt like the force I brought down on those things I was leaving behind. So since I started with that, I want to hand it over to you, Emily, with a small uh small note for all of us. The reason that we are having this conversation today is not to, it is actually done intentionally to help you understand that there are things that you can let go of that are not yours to continue shouldering, carrying, you know, suffocating under that you do have some control. I'm not talking about situations, right? We there are so many factors that we cannot control. But there are some things that Emily and I will share through example that I that we both hope will just frankly create a little bit more space for you to take a breath today. Okay. And when we talk about what we're carrying forward, we're doing that to pay homage, to honor that you, no matter who you are, I am confident and every one of us did some really, really special things. And it doesn't have to be something that gets an award or other people know about. Okay, so we'll dive into that next. But first, Emily, I'm curious. Did my plate smashing story bring some some clear thoughts to mind about ooh, I am leaving this behind? And I'm scratching out your ability to say what I wrote on my plate. Get specific.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I got specific things. Well, this is really fun. I love this, Ashlyn. And um, I did not, just for all of you listening, come to this podcast with three things in mind. However, in the last two seconds, I just got a three thing. Um, so okay, it's actually very it's a lot easier for me to look ahead and say what I um what did you what was the phrase you used?
SPEAKER_03:What you're carrying forward. So honoring what you did well or what worked well in 2025 and building on it or at least carrying it through.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. It's easier for me to think of that than it is for me to think backwards, but I have plenty of things when I think backwards. Um, so just for a little bit of background, I think it might be important to um explain. I don't know, for some of you who are new to the podcast, new to us, or maybe, you know, we've been taking a little bit of a break. So um I had my sixth baby this year. Um, we have lost two of them, and so we have four with us. And um we un very unfortunately lost our sister-in-law this year. And uh Charlotte, my daughter, who's eight, has had over 25 procedures. I don't know how many were this year. I've lost count. Uh, we were gonna build a house this year on land that we bought, and after a five-year search to buy a home and couldn't find one, and then we ended up selling that land and bought a complete fixer upper that we are going to have to gut, which has been a very fun process, by the way.
SPEAKER_03:Um and you can smash stuff over there to let it go.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, literally start from the ground up. I mean, we have to dig out the basement first, like that's the level of remodel we're talking about here. So that was 2025. Um, oh, and also running parent empowerment network and growing it to be a sustainable nonprofit so that it can move on for years to come, which is so amazing. Um, and so anyway, that was 2025. It was intense. Uh, but every year I would say since Charlotte was born, so that was eight years ago, has been very intense because you lay your medical needs on top of anything and it just amplifies everything. As everyone listening to this knows. So I would say the three things I'm leaving behind the best word for this one is self-depletion. And here's what I mean. Um I and I I'm gonna say this and it's gonna sound like tooting my own horn, but it's not, it's just accurate. I am a um I am a server. I serve and I want to give, and it's what gives me life, and it's it's the call of my life to give and to give and to give. But I um and what I mean by that is like, you know, parent empowerment network, empowered by hope, taking care of the four children, husband, the house, blah, blah, blah, the all that stuff. And that's all very good, but I will do it to the point where there's literally nothing left of me. And um, so self-depletion, I'm leaving that behind. I'm still going to, of course, carry forward all the service, but it has to be with a certain uh balance of also remembering that mama needs to eat, mama needs to sleep, mama needs water, mama needs to look a walk on our own. Yeah, exactly. So self-depletion, I'm leaving that behind. Now, I will say, I'm saying, you know, like any resolution, it's gonna be a lifelong journey, really learning how to leave self-depletion behind because it's it's what I do. But absolutely, um, awareness is the start, right? So we're aware at January 2026. Um the second thing I'm gonna leave behind, and again, this is going to be a lifelong process because it's just so core to who I am, but is this need to satisfy and make everybody else happy? Um I my like biggest fear in life is letting other people down. And of course I never want to do that, but I also can't live in that space because it's um it's not my it's not my weight to carry. And so uh that needs to, and I started the work of leaving that behind last year, and it's going to take the next 70 years to get it right, but it's gonna be it's gonna be fun. Anywho's uh and then the next thing, and this is actually kind of a fun one, I think. I have always um thought that to serve God and to really live out my faith, my Christian faith to the best of my ability, I need to do big things, right? So I've been a public speaker and I wrote a book and I this and I that, and that's all that's all good. That's all good. But this year I am leaving behind this thought that like to serve him you have to do big things. And I'm going to start doing the little way. Like, I'm gonna serve him by sitting down on the floor and playing Uno with my kids because that's what they want right now. Or recognizing that serving him is filling that durable medical equipment order today, or serving him is sitting down and having a cup of coffee and letting my butt be still for five minutes before I go change that diaper. You know? Um it's not in doing big things, and the big things are good, and you know, there might be another season in life where God calls me to do big things, but right now the season he's calling me to is the little way, the very small things, the sweeping the floor, the cleaning up the latest vomit, the filling up that filling that script, all that stuff. So those are mine, they're big, they're big goals, but we're leaving behind self-depletion, we're leaving behind satisfying everyone, and we're leaving behind the the need to do big things.
SPEAKER_03:How about you, Ashlyn? Yes, yes, okay, beautiful. Thank you. All right, so number one, I am leaving behind staying in a state of being my own worst critic. So most people who are who are who know me closely know that I am next level fan of the show Ted Lasso. I am currently watching the entire first three seasons for the fifth time because it's Oh my goodness. Yes, I've never, I mean, it's like I I think about all the parents losing their mind to Baby Shark over and over. This is my adult self-soothing, you know, comforting show. And it I highly recommend if you have not watched it yet, to let it enter your life and work its magic. But I had this really big aha moment watching it for the fourth time through. Yes, earlier. Love it, towards the end of 2025, and there is this scene where there's a lot of Ted Lasso fans, so I feel comfortable saying names. So there is this scene where the team captain, whose name is Isaac, hears a fan call, use a very derogatory, very, very cruel word at the team. And it's it's technically this person is supposed to be a home fan of their team. And it's not that they're not used to hearing things like this, but the derogatory term that's used is very uh triggering for him because of something he has recently learned about a teammate, and it's a secret that he's keeping for this teammate, so it's weighing on him, and he's trying to protect his teammate, but he's very conflicted. Point is Isaac, instead of heading to the locker room with the rest of the team, jumps up into the stands and goes up to the quote unquote fan and literally like you know, grabs the guy by the shirt and he's ready to take him out. It is extreme, it is not professional in the least. And so then the character Roy Kent, played by Brett Goldstein, is one of the coaches. You know, he's running up there, you know, trying to get them to get Isaac to come back down. And there's this moment that I finally caught watching it the fourth time through, is there's this little pause where Roy Kent's character looks at the fan, who, of course, is throwing a fit, like, what the heck is wrong with that guy? Get him out of here. And he's watching Isaac storm off, and he immediately turns to security and says, Throw that man out of here, doesn't ask any questions, and then after that, he Roy Kent has to do the media after the match. And of course, everybody wants to talk right about Isaac and you know, straight to what are the penalties going to be, you know, uh what what's the punishment essentially going to be? And he cuts them off very quickly and very calmly. What he gets to is this realization that it was a realization for me that it's something that I don't do for myself. And what he does for Isaac is he says, look, Isaac knows what he did was wrong. I have no idea what caused him to do it, and we all agree it was absolutely not okay what he did. But I know Isaac's heart, I know who that man is, so that tells me that whatever happened that caused him to do that, his heart. Heart was really hurting, and he had a heck of a reason to take him completely out of character to do that. And I'm sharing this story with you. I'm going in detail, I'll be shorter with my other two. But in that moment, when I was watching this the fourth time through, I I it was kind of like a pause, like a pause moment in my mind, which Emily knows doesn't happen very often. And it was this realization of Roy Kent giving his friend the absolute benefit of the doubt with no evidence, no conversations, nothing needed. He just knows this man. He knows that he trusts who he is, that he is a friend, that he is a good person. He knows this is out of character. And therefore, even though the action was wrong, the trigger must have been really, really powerful to get him to do that. Maybe ever.
SPEAKER_01:You do for everyone else, though. I'll say that.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. 100%. And that is why, and that realization was okay. I am no longer accepting normalizing being my own worst critic. And instead, I am working towards developing my inner critic to be replaced by apparently that side of Roy Kent, because Roy Kent is really aggressive and intense. All right. The second one is I am leaving behind the belief that self-sacrifice, I'm talking total self-sacrifice. Self-depletion. Yes. Yeah. Well, but self-sacrifice is the equivalence of unconditional love. I have lived that way, thinking that it is my job. Let me digest what you just said. Say that again. Self-sacrifice equaling unconditional love. Correct. I'm moving forward, letting that belief go that if I love like my children or my family or my friends unconditionally, like that true love means being willing to totally sacrifice myself. But by totally sacrificing myself, what's left of me? And do I ever expect that of them? No. It is depletion, yes, but it's also self-abandonment. It's trying to be what I think they need to be because I think that's love rather than knowing that I am love. You know, I as I am, who I am, honoring that. And so again, this is developmental. So, but that is what I am leaving behind. And then the third thing I am leaving behind is normalizing absolute nervous system overload. I am tired of I am I'm not pointing fingers at anybody, anything in the world. I am just going to keep this solo focused. I cannot handle any longer living in a way to try to justify feeling constantly tired, on edge, uh uncomfortable, anxious, jittery, stressed, all those nerd all those things that are a direct in-your-face mirror of your nervous system's, you know, levels. And I just kind of hit this wall this year, which needed to happen, which was I don't want these years that I have with my children while they're young. I'm so I feel so sad thinking about the best version of me they get is the one that is so overfried that I'm just trying to survive. I want to enjoy these ages with them. I want them to enjoy me. And I do believe they, I am confident that they do. You know, that probably goes back a bit to the whole being my own worst critic. But it's not so much anymore about how they feel about me. It's about how I feel about myself and my ability to be in the moment and actually enjoy being a parent.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So those are my three that I am wanting to leave behind. I'm just like envisioning flicking each of them off of a wall into the abyss. It's kind of a satisfaction little exercise there. That's amazing. Um, yes. So, all right, I like that. Let's move forward because life is always moving forward, folks. You can try to sit still and resist it and try to tell yourself that you can just sit and pause, but you're either going forward or you're going backward, in my opinion. And that doesn't mean you have to move forward in progress, right? You don't, life is anything but linear. However, you do have to set your sights somewhere. And rear view mirror is not where we recommend staying.
SPEAKER_01:It's fun to look for a little while and then off we go. Yeah, we need to use the case.
SPEAKER_03:So where are you going, Axel? Right. Well, tell us. I take it you want me to go first. I do. Okay. So where I'm going first, these are these are things that I am carrying forward with me because I am able to honor these are things that worked for me in 2025 that I want to continue to do or build on, or you know, just I'm holding on to these. Okay. Love it. So one second half of the year 2025, I began, thanks to my mom, intentionally including comedy in my life on a regular, weekly, often daily basis. And by that, I'm talking about I went through my social media and I cleared all the people who I am so happy they're out there doing their great thing and rocking it. But frankly, all I could see was my own self-judgment when I looked at their their profiles, and that's not on them, that's just for me. And I started adding instead a bunch of comedians, and I have to tell you that it has made my life uh better, it really has. And I have started instead of just looking for a TV show to turn on at night, I will look up a comedian's uh special that was recorded at some point and watch a full show and just laugh. Oh my gosh, it is oxygen, okay? And it doesn't matter, the most awful, hard, heartbreaking things can be going on. And I swear laughter has this ability to like it's like a cat. It can fit into spaces that nobody else seems to be able to get through, right? And it comes in and it's like it just breathes, not the cat, the laughter, breathes oxygen into the mental confinement, the isolation that your reality has, you know, essentially locked you up in. So laughing on purpose and creating it, it's and creating opportunities to include it has been really powerful. And I am not letting that go. I am love that. That's amazing. I am keeping that one for life.
SPEAKER_01:I am known to be someone who once I get going, I just start crying laughing like obnoxiously. Probably because I'm so starved for laughter.
SPEAKER_03:It's true, it's something that we need, and it's something we how how many episodes do you think? Maybe it's easiest to just say probably all of our episodes at some point. We have talked about the fact that being a human, that living life is full of dual dualities or um things being you know simultaneous. We carry multitudes of truths at the same time. We are not hardwired to only feel and think one thing, right? Right. Because things need done, kids need things, you need things, the body needs things, friends need things, life needs things. It's never like, okay, we're gonna pause everything going around you, and you can only think about like finding your zen right now. We're gonna let you heal. Everything else is gonna pause, the world is gonna stop turning while you reclaim your zen if you ever had it. Right. So, yes, all right, so comedy, humor. Next thing that I found myself doing in 2025. I think this was just a gift from God, gift from my angels, the universe, is I noticed myself. Uh, it happened, it started really when I took the kids to South Carolina for for the month of June. And I think being in nature really helped. Being on the water helped because we were on a large, beautiful lake. I like renewed this sense of absolute wonder, is the only thing I can think to name it, for things like clouds. I became obsessed with watching the clouds and like literally delighting in different clouds and how beautiful they looked against the blue skies or even the gray skies. It didn't matter. And um, I started when I came back to Indiana uh after the kids would go to sleep, and um, you know, always somebody else was at the house. I started going for walks in a neighborhood where it's safe late, late at night. And there would be like nobody out, the stars and the moon. Oh my gosh, it this the quiet around. And I have even been doing it in the extreme cold, which is good for my nervous system. I can feel it, but I literally my whole face like when you know when your whole face smiles, not like a platitude, you're not like, oh yeah, that's nice. No, you're like you're smiling from within. I feel that now because now that I've normalized that, I actually look for that. Like, yeah, it's building a habit of being excited of what am I gonna see? This whole moon with the seven sisters star things around it. Oh my gosh, like incredible. Like I'm getting chills thinking about how amazing it's been to see.
SPEAKER_01:So you're opening your heart up to beauty, and that's amazing.
SPEAKER_03:Well, right, and it's everywhere. I mean, it really is. And then let's see, um, the third thing that I am taking away.
SPEAKER_01:I'm just gonna say, everybody who's listening right now, their heart's like singing and yearning towards what you just said.
SPEAKER_03:Anyway, well, I hope so. And I mean, like and I encourage you, like, aside from this leaving behind and carrying forward conversation, just ask yourself, when's the last time, or what is something that pulled you into a state of wonder, like a child, right? And like now, like I get when I see like really tiny flowers, I'm like, wow, look how tiny that thing is. It's like a full flower, but it's so tiny. And Emory and I have so much fun with that. Cole loves the moon and stars with me. Um Emery's coming around to it too. And uh it's just to be in awe of something that is so normal is a really, really special gift, and it makes it so much easier to realize or to recognize hope and miracles all around instead of that being something you're seeking. All right, last thing that forward woo! Yes, last thing that I am carrying forward is I am carrying forward advocating for myself. That is something that I didn't realize how little I was doing until I could no longer ignore how little I was doing it through a lot of different things that came up in life. But once I started to do that towards the the later part of 2025, I started to recognize that I don't want to live life apologizing for myself all of the time. Or, you know, downsizing myself, dismissing myself instead of embracing life as development, right? Like, and so by advocating for myself, it's not just in my health, which is a part of what I'm carrying forward, but advocating for what I need to set myself up for to be successful, what I know will set me up to feel good in myself and to put my best foot forward with the skills and the gifts that I have naturally. And so, yeah, that's what I am moving forward. I am carrying with me. It began this past year, and I'm recognizing it, and that baby is in the in the backpack.
SPEAKER_01:I love it, and here you go. That's awesome. Thank you for sharing. You're welcome. Amazing, amazing. All right, Emily, you wanna wrap you wanna bring us home. What are your three? My three. Okay, the first one is super um simple. That's why I love it. Uh, I am going to carry forward with me and get way better at breathing. Yep, there you go. That's it.
SPEAKER_03:All right, folks, I'm editing for her. She's allowed to carry forward focusing on breathing. She is not allowed to use the term getting better at it.
SPEAKER_01:No, I'm for real. I need to get better at it. And here's why. Six months ago, ish, I don't know, roughly, I distinctly remember halfway through the day, I'm running kids to school. I'm, you know, work doing work emails, I'm trying to clean, I'm doing the diapers, I'm nursing, I'm blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, answering work calls, doing medical calls, running to the hospital with Charlotte, whatever. Not just hearing it. Yeah, that's like a normal day, right? Okay, in the back of my mind, I am like trying to take a deep breath because I can feel myself, you know, being air hungry. I learned that term this week, and it's so accurate. Being air hungry, trying to take a deep breath. And then literally, I had the thought go through my head, it is so annoying that I have to take the time to breathe. I had that thought. Okay, and that thought was so profound because it stopped me in my tracks at how ridiculous that thought was, and also how little I was stopping to do something as simple as breathing. And I have been really on this kick, and it also doesn't help that I started a new medication that the side effect makes you feel like you're air hungry. So that's fun. But anyway, um, but this happened long before the medication. Um, I literally I am confident I will become a better mom, I will become a better wife, I will become a better me by just taking a few minutes to breathe. And how many times do we tell our kids when they're all upset about something to take some deep breaths? But do I do it? No. I don't even do it when I'm just like, you know, trying to do the dishes, whatever. So anyway, I'm gonna focus on breathing. And honestly, I think if all I did in 2026 for moving forward and improvement was really get better at taking deep breaths throughout the day, I would have a much better year. So that's that's it's big. Um, but it was such an aha moment when I had that thought. Like I needed to have that thought to smack me across the face of how we're yeah, that is really that's a confrontational thought right there.
SPEAKER_03:That's not one that you can just laugh off. Or if you do, please don't.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and it I think it really stemmed, like I think when you are in, and here's where it's kind of fun to look back. Like, so when we were in the NICU with Charlotte, and it was a life and death situation for months on end, right? Um really years on end, but specifically months on end. You really do get to the you're in survival mode for a very long time, and it is hard to learn how to get out of survival mode. It is real, especially when you keep getting plunged back into it with more surgeries and more issues. And that's gonna be learned, right?
SPEAKER_03:We talked, I was talking about nervous system earlier. Is it's one thing to mentally accept you know, that you are out of a state that requires survival or fight or flight, but the nervous system, when that becomes normalized, you have to denormalize that with intention. Yeah, you can't just expect it to just shut off.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So that's uh 2025 was the beginning of that. 2026 is gonna be a lot of work on that. Um, I what I have done really well for a long time, off and on, not always, but in different seasons of life, is to have my God time in the morning, which is like 10 minutes, sometimes five, sometimes 20 if I get really lucky. Um, and sometimes it's like 6 a.m. before the kids wake up, sometimes it's like 10 a.m. once they're all finally settled into an activity and diapers are changed and everybody's fed and off to school and whatever. Um, but I am going to really work on trying hard to prioritize that time every single day, or at least six out of seven days, um, because it radically improves my days when I spend just 10 minutes with Jesus. Um makes a massive difference. Beautiful. And then the other thing I'm gonna one thing I did really well in 2025 and I am excited to get better at in 2026 is to put the phone down. Ah, that's a good one. Put it down. I made a basket, I made a label on a basket that says the peace and presence basket.
unknown:And
SPEAKER_01:That's where the phone goes when I'm not gonna use it. So um so yeah, I am really working on like when I go to put the baby to bed and I'm nursing her, I used to use that time to answer emails on my phone or order the diapers or place the next DME order or whatever. And that's all good. Like you gotta get that stuff done and you have to find windows to do it. But I'm really trying to like the phone doesn't even go with me upstairs because I'm gonna sit there, I'm gonna rock that baby and I'm gonna watch her nurse and I'm just gonna soak her up, you know? So yeah, the phone um is gonna be much less in my life moving forward. I'm so pumped about it.
SPEAKER_03:Amen. I love that. I really, really, really, really do love that's such a good one.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, mine are pretty simple. I mean, like, I just need to breathe. I need 10 minutes with Jesus, and the phone needs to not be on my being at all times.
SPEAKER_03:But isn't simple what we have talked about over and over is really what matters most? Like this, the the the simple, the small, the quote unquote small things, those are the foundational things. Those are the things that actually those are what come together to offer solid ground, right? And you know, this I can't tell you how many times I have lived my life in this perpetual chase of reinvention. Like, if I can just, you know, implement all of these things that I've pinned onto this beautiful Pinterest board from all these people who obviously know how to live life better than I do, cleaner than I do, more efficient, more, you know, better parent, better nutrition, all those things. If I could just, you know, do all of these things, then I can have peace and joy and fulfillment, you know. But at the end of the day, I don't know, even with all the things we've talked about, the theme for all of this, what I hope people are able to pull with us here as we wrap up, it's gratitude, right? All of these things that we talked about carrying forward is it's they're all really building on more opportunities for gratitude, and not in a you must be thankful for. No, as in a gratitude is that other type of oxygen that can come in, right? Like when I was talking about laughter, uh, grace, you know, assuming your best intentions, even when you make the wrong choice or you blow up and you yell at your kids, even though you swore yesterday you were not gonna be a parent who yells at your kids anymore because you know it doesn't work and you feel terrible and they feel small, and it's this terrible cycle, but then you do it again, and yet maybe the way we start to change that is not changing the action, but changing how we feel about ourselves for doing it in the first place, yeah. And and recognizing that nervous system is working so hard to keep everybody safe, and especially trying to keep me safe, and I feel like our kids are such an extension of us, yep, that it makes sense that they get our biggest reactions too. And so if you can just stop, you know, for just even a micro moment to take that breath hear Roy Kent in your head that look, it may not be right what you did, but it's it's it's understandable that you got triggered. Own it, apologize, and try again. Yep. That's it. That's it, folks. That's literally all you need to do to have a sweet, wonderful, easygoing 2026. Easy going. It's not gonna be easy going. No, I need to be able to do it. Absolutely not, right? Absolutely not. There's that was just meant to be a little bit of a ha ha moment, and Emily caught it very quick. The point is, is it's not about easy going through things don't have to be better, right? The the thing is, is listening to this is look, whatever your circumstances are, this is real talk. Yeah, Emily and I are no stranger to life or death situations. Yep, whether with children or other loved ones, and we're both very familiar with situations that did result in the loss and death and and significant suffering.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Oh, no strangers.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. No. But what we hope that we can be a voice of, a reminder of, always gently and consistently, is that it's not up, it's not dependent on you controlling life to have a good life. Okay. Your peace is not something you have to earn or purchase. It's not inner calm is not something that you have to obtain by you know climbing the top of whatever mountain in some far-off land. Although that sounds pretty nice right now, actually. But those are all things that you have access to within. And when you can't find them within, that's why you go to your support circle, your support system, and that's a really great place to help you find those things again. It's okay to lean on somebody else to help you find the grace that you're struggling to give yourself. Because I guarantee whoever gets to give you that grace, it's a gift for them, and they're probably going to need that from you someday, too. So we just want to be that voice, that reminder that look, just give it your best, whatever your best looks like that day. Don't don't hold it against anything else, anybody else, absolutely nobody else. No comparison games here. Just give it your best. And remember at your core, you're just operating from love, loving your kid fiercely, okay? And you really just can't be that bad a person if you're loving your kids fiercely, okay? You really can't be doing that badly.
SPEAKER_01:We hope that this episode has um, if you were putting us up on a pedestal thinking we got it all together, well, there you go. No, we don't. Um I think when people have an online presence, it can automatically feel like we have it all together, you know? So there you go. We're very real. And um smash that on a plate. Yeah, smash that on a plate. And I just am very excited for, I'm really excited for what is to come with Empowered by Hope this year. I'm really excited for the support that is going to pour out from this podcast and from Parent Empowerment Network. And so we hope you stay tuned. Um, we would love to hear from you if anything we said really resonated with you. If you have any thoughts, we want you to comment. We want you to um, you can email us at contact at parent empowerment network.org or you can um leave a review on Empowered by Hope Podcast. You can comment on any of our social posts. We want to hear from you um anything that you tick away from this episode and what you're gonna write on your plate. So, with that, my friends, we love you all. We are praying for you, and um, we are excited for 2026 with you.
SPEAKER_00:You are capable, you are equipped, and you are not alone. Together, we can do hard things for our children.
SPEAKER_02:If this episode connected with you and you want to hear more, be sure to hit the subscribe button.
SPEAKER_00:We would also love to learn about your personal journey and how we can support you. Reach out to us at contact at CharlotteCokeFoundation.org. And last but not least if you know someone who can benefit from this podcast, please.
