Why Connecting With Another Medical Parent Can Change Everything

There’s a moment many medical parents know too well: the late-night scroll, the knot in your throat, the feeling that you need an answer and a hand to hold—right now. That’s where our story begins, with two moms, a Facebook group, a long hospital stay, and one honest message that turned fear into friendship.

Co-hosts and close friends, Ashlyn Thompson & Ashley Milbourne, talk about how relationships change when your child’s care gets complex, and why connecting with someone who has lived your kind of hard can be the difference between white-knuckling it and moving with steadier breath. You’ll hear how to use social groups without spiraling, how to spot the few voices you can trust, and when to mute notifications to protect your nervous system. We share the art of calibrated honesty—giving or asking for the right level of detail—and the relief that comes when someone gets your “memory anniversaries” without a long backstory.

This conversation goes beyond social media. We map practical paths to real connection through specialists’ nurses, child life teams, Parent to Parent networks, school resources, and quiet referrals that respect privacy and boundaries. We highlight why dads and male caregivers need their own lifelines, and offer simple scripts for reaching out when words are hard. Along the way we trade hard-won “cheat codes” for daily logistics, celebrate tiny wins with rituals that stick, and name the truth: support for you is support for your child, because a steadier parent advocates better.

If you’ve felt alone in the maze, we’re here to say you’re capable, you’re equipped, and you don’t have to do this by yourself. Listen for real talk, gentle structure, and the kind of friendship that holds both the fear and the fight. If this conversation resonates, share it with someone who needs a lifeline, subscribe for more, and leave a review to help other families find us. Your people are out there—let’s help you meet them.

Time Stamps: 

• 0:00 Welcome & Purpose Of The Show
• 1:40 Why Relationships Change With Medical Kids
• 4:55 Ashlyn And Ashley’s Origin Story
• 10:45 Honest Support Without Overwhelm
• 15:30 Using Social Groups Wisely
• 22:30 Boundaries, Needs, And Safe Friends
• 28:30 The Weight We Carry And Memory Dates
• 35:00 Beyond Social: Finding Real Connections

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Transcript

Welcome & Purpose Of The Show

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Whether you've just been blindsided by your child's diagnosis or you've been in the trenches of their complex medical needs for a while, Empowered by Hope, it's here for you. So we wish you didn't know this heartache. We're so glad you found us put together to walk this journey in hope.

Why Relationships Change With Medical Kids

SPEAKER_04 0:35

Hello everyone. Welcome to Empowered by Hope Podcast. It is your host, Ashlyn Thompson, and I am joined today by a fan favorite, the lovely Miss Ashley Milbourne. Ashley, who we have had on the podcast in previous episodes before, who you all have loved, which I know because of the number of downloads that are very, very high for anything with Ashley on them. They really are. And beyond loving her for her sweet Southern accent and her beautiful heart, Ashley is a wealth of knowledge for so many things when it comes to being a pediatric parent kung fu ninja. She's on our board now for Parent Empowerment Network, which we are in such a better place because of that for a lot of reasons. We really, truly are. Everybody on the board would be nodding their head yes, while Ashley is sheepishly shaking her head no. But let's get to the point. Why is Ashley on this particular episode today? We decided that February would be a great time to let's do a deep dive or deep-ish dive podcast style into relationships, period. Because relationships take on a whole new meaning and a whole other level of literal complexity when you are raising a child with medical challenges, whatever the circumstances be. What we know is that emotionally and mentally, if your child is struggling or requires medical intervention, you're affected. And when you're a parent and you love that child, you feel it in a way that only other parents who are experiencing that can really relate to. It was really obvious choice to me to ask Ashley to do this episode today because Ashley is my, oh, this is gonna be fun. My B-E-O-G. That means that that's fun. Future album. So my daughter, Emory, I've mentioned before about her medical condition, what she has, and Ashley's daughter. It's it's so funny, we can laugh about it now from a healthy place, have a lot of similarities, including they're both the second born and they were both born in the same year, and they both have red hair.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

The most important part, they're red heads.

SPEAKER_04 3:11

I wanted to have Ashley on here because it's really, really important to have a conversation with anybody listening on here that if you are somebody who maybe has not found a ton of friendships or maybe not even any friendships with somebody who shares the knowledge of the journey that you're on with your child. Doesn't have to be the same diagnosis or same exact circumstances, but you know, somebody within that medical journey as a parent, this episode is to really support you and encourage you not only the value of finding those people, but how you go about connecting with those people and just encouraging you and giving you hope that if you are somebody who's had trouble relating to others, you know, finding somebody who really clicks with you that you feel comfortable talking to, it's okay. That's so normal. You're not meant to, you know, there's not a ton of matching puzzle pieces in when it comes to these circumstances. It's deeply personal. Everybody handles it differently. But I really, really do believe, and I'll let Ashley weigh in if she holds the belief too, that there will be somebody out there that you can connect with that can be as much of a support system as frankly as you are to them. And so, Ashley, I'm gonna kick it over to you to say hi to all your adoring fans first and then take us down this friendship journey together.

Ashlyn And Ashley’s Origin Story

SPEAKER_01 4:48

Well, listen, I didn't know I had a fan following. You do. I am so I'm so honored to be here. I love being on the podcast and talking to you, obviously. So it's very funny. I don't make a lot of friends on social media or on Facebook, but that's how Ashlyn and I met. I know, right? You know, I guess, you know, just as a general, one really cool thing about what we're talking about today and like friendships with, you know, a shared diagnosis, or even if it's not the same diagnosis, just the medical complexity component. You don't have to be in the same state. We're hundreds and hundreds of miles apart. And it's so funny when I talk about, you know, my friend who's from the Midwest, and you know, I'm down here in the south. And it works because we have such a, I would maybe would you call it almost a trauma bond initially. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_04 5:37

Oh, it was for sure founded on the trauma. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Yeah, but it, you know, it has been a huge part of my journey with my daughter Marin, and just, you know, my perspective from all that too as a parent, sharing that with Ashlyn. So I believe you commented maybe first on the flatter extrophy Facebook group that we were both a member of. And I think I like I was in the hospital with my daughter. She'd had her very, very, very long surgery, plus some other ones. And I don't know what made me respond to Ashlyn, but it was just one of those things. I think it was meant to be. And I think that God knew we need each other at the time, but I, you know, had not been responding to a ton of stuff. I do more now, but I answered her question and that was it. I sent her a, I think I sent her a personal message, or you messaged me back and it started a conversation. And, you know, Ashlyn was, I think you had just found out about Ambri's diagnosis, right? Yes. And I had already had Marin, had the big surgery, was in the hospital recovering and all that good stuff. And she had some questions and I answered them, and it was kind of as simple as that. I was like, you know, this is kind of cool, like getting, you know, that first intro of getting to share a little bit about your experience and trying to help another parent. And then I kind of thought it would stop. I don't know what you thought, but I was just kind of like, oh, I'm answering a question, and that's it. And sometimes that's what it is, and that's great, and that's what you need. But I feel like we really clicked, and I feel like you were in a spot where you had so many questions and were scared, obviously. And I had already been through that initial phase. I was in a spot where, you know, I just lived through this like very long, very traumatic surgery. You know, our redheads like to hit weird, what do you call them? Like just random events that most not all the kids hit. They're not your typical situation for whatever classic bladder extrophy looks like. And so, you know, I had just kind of come off of that trauma. Marin was in a pretty stable spot at the time, and it ended up being so therapeutic for me to be able to talk to you about what we had been through and then to say, she's okay. She made it, you know, we had some really scary parts, but like she's okay. This has been super hard and like kind of the worst for what we had experienced so far in life, you know. And but guess what? She's gonna be okay. And it there was something about me recounting to you what we made it through that was so therapeutic for me. And then I think you getting information that you didn't have already was like so beneficial for you. So it kind of was the perfect timing and the perfect pairing. And I don't know, it was just such a blessing to both of us, which is really, really special and something that I won't forget, you know.

Honest Support Without Overwhelm

SPEAKER_04 8:24

I won't have to because we're still friends, but you're not putting this disclaimer out there. Yeah, not be forgotten. That's in the contract you signed, by the way, to be on the board. Yeah, I will do that. I forgot you slipped that in there. Just as a follow-up to that, I was actually, I didn't expect to because it's been over four years. It's been four uh five years. Yeah. It was in February, five years ago, that we first connected. And what I did was probably something that a lot of our listeners have done themselves or or some version of it, which is I found a Facebook group that was for parents, caregivers, patients of the condition that our daughters have. And I posted the same question that like a million other, you know, parents had posted previously. I wanted fresh input on it, and it was just it was basically an SOS. I am in the middle of a hurricane named, you know, diagnosis, and I'm reeling and absolutely terrified, but I had questions, and it was just that I just remember being in that place of thinking any information I could get my hands on might be enough of a of a raft to keep me afloat. And that's really normal. And you responded, Ashley, the thing that you said to me that I don't even have to go back and look. I have will never I know that I will never forget this, was you were the only person you sent me a message and you literally said, girl, like I'm in the hospital right now with my daughter. You know, we are weeks into this recovery and it still is hard as hell. But I have to tell you, these children, these girls are the most resilient, incredible people. And your daughter is going to be the exact same way. And again, it's gonna be so, so hard. But you are like you basically framed it, you were like, but you are in for, I'm just summing it up, you're in for the love story of your life because you're going to witness to the most incredible strength, and there's nothing like it. If you are somebody listening to this and you're somebody who's like, okay, how do I decide if somebody could be like that friend for me, right? Yeah. Honesty is really important when it comes to the hardship of things. Ashley, I'm kind of curious on your opinion. I don't know that you need to go too extensive detail when it comes to honesty, right? I think it's what's kind of your gauge on that because you were so good at that.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

I think it's the it depends relationship to relationship, probably. I feel like you kind of, or in my opinion, you know, it was super hard. And so I remember thinking like I'm gonna tell her this is really hard. But and you know, and then I think I started super generic like that with you. I love what you said. I do remember typing all of that because I still believe it to this day. I think I'm gonna be terrified of Maren when she's 15, but right now it's really awesome.

SPEAKER_04 11:49

You're lucky, you're not scared yet. I'm already taking it.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

No, I'm a little scared now too. I told her that the other day. Um, but you know, I I think you gauged the person and who you're talking to. And I, you know, there were some things you wanted like super specific details on, I remember, you know, and then some things like we're just kind of like, yeah, that wasn't fun, but it's about a week and then you're kind of through that part, you know? And so like I think you just it depends, but you're right in that and I would like to give a disclaimer too for all of our listeners today. I think you have to be really careful about the Facebook groups or the social media groups. Yeah. I think they're incredible, but I think that there are a lot of people out there that are terrified, which is probably where you are too, and they are posting, you know, these horrific stories and the worst of the worst, and they're in a really bad spot. So I think you have to be careful and and search those groups and be a part of those groups to get answers to your questions or to meet friends or people that you can talk to and relate to, but also don't let it put you in a place of like constant fear or things like that. You know, I think you really have to, if you're gonna get in those groups, which you you know are great for a lot of people, you have to know what to weed out and what to focus on. So I will preface that just because some of the postlight can be kind of terrifying or you know, just make you worry nonstop. But then there's a lot of stuff out there that's so beautiful and like seeing where kids are today 20 years later, and you know, like they're graduating college and have great jobs and they played all the sports that they wanted to play, which you know, all of these things can be concerns for parents for certain diagnoses. So I think that just know that first of all when you go into these groups as to like weed out what you want to get from it. But yeah, then I think you based on the person that you click with or that you message with, like kind of see what they're wanting and just try to show up for that and and do be honest. Like you can rose color it a little bit if you want to at first, but then if they want the truth, like give it to them because I think preparation is never a bad idea. At least that's how I work, right?

Using Social Groups Wisely

SPEAKER_04 14:00

Ashley, I'm really glad that you made a point of clarifying how to approach using social support groups, you know, for example, on Facebook, because meeting other pediatric parents or other families that are within the diagnosis or, you know, whatever it is you're facing, there's not, you know, any dance clubs or bars around the corner where these people just congregate as much more fun as that sounds like it would be. Um, but it's really important. It's a great place to utilize it to, yes, maybe get some answers to questions where you're looking for almost a poll response, if you will. You want to gather several experiences. People are usually more than happy to contribute, uh, which is great. But I found that those groups really worked best for me when I found my people in them, which it's it was ultimately very few, and not for lack of there being great people. Once I connected with Ashley, a couple other moms that I think I thrust upon Ashley for more support, because I was like, oh, I know this really wise sage of a mom who knows all. And I mean, but I remember that's really, you know, that's how it was at the time. I just kept considering you a black belt. I I think you may have been the one, or we talked about it, that when Emery was going into surgery, we had a conversation about I actually turned off my notifications and stopped looking at the group because all of a sudden it it was gonna, it was starting to run the risk of adding more anxiety than supportive information. And it was so much easier on my nervous system to have a source of comfort and confidence in Ashley. Not that Ashley was responsible for, you know, preparing me for every single thing, but I knew that I could go to you and ask you a question and that you were going to be honest with me. And I think it's important that, you know, we just talked a little bit ago about, you know, how honest should you be, or up front, you know, do you want to be when you're, you know, meeting somebody and talking to them. It's also really important for yourself to be really honest about what you need. You know, I am somebody who I fixate on the details and the depth because that gives me the illusion of feeling safe.

SPEAKER_02 16:32

Right.

SPEAKER_04 16:32

That you know, I'm like, okay, the more I know, the less I'm surprised by. You know, I I tell doctors and nurses that all the time. Look, tell me worst case scenario, but that is still within the norm. I'd rather know that it's going to be really, really awful for up to 10 days, and rather than freaking out that my child is doing something outside the norm. Right. Because you didn't prepare me that it could still look bad 10 days out of surgery. I think boundaries are something that it's really normal, will will help you understand, you know, am I aligned with this person? You know, is how does this friendship work for me? Because one of the things that's really special, you know, Ashley, I know I'm grateful for and it wasn't expected and I wasn't looking for it, is that I found you to be such a solid friend and confidant in more areas of my life than being a mom or a medical mom. You know, that's why we're doing the month of February on multiple types of relationships, because every relationship gets affected. You know, if you're in a marriage or a partnership, other caregivers, your other friends, you know, employers, all of those. And it continued, and it still is to this day. You're somebody who is a trusted source of experience that I can, I've always felt comfortable that I can share something that I'm trying to figure out. And you understand the lens and the filter process I have based on a lot of trauma and past experience with my daughter. Like you understand the things that I worry about that maybe others don't. You understand the things that set me off about somebody that most people would think, you know, take a pill. Like, you know, you and it there's a real safety net feeling there where I can process things with you. And I think that's almost maybe kind of been the superpower of a relationship is I don't feel like you've ever told me what to do, but you always help me unpack anything. And I and I hope that I've been able to, you know, at least do that for you some. Absolutely. Absolutely. And that's really what these friendships are, is just you don't go, you don't have to go through it alone. The emotional part of it.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Yeah, I think that, you know, I have a, I mean, we've talked about this and you do too. I have a killer support system at home. I have friends that love me so much and were so there for us, like especially when we were in like the thick of it with Marin and my parents and you know, cousins and aunts and uncles and all the things, and they're they were incredible during all of that. But there's something about, and we've talked about this, there's something about talking to someone who is living it and who's been there, and you know, it you really don't know until you've done it, like until you've watched your child suffer, unfortunately, you know, and and it looks a million different ways depending on diagnosis. And other parents that don't have medically complex kids, they've watched their kids suffer too. It's it's all a heartbreaking instance, but there was something like very therapeutic about talking to you about it because like you were doing the same thing I was doing, you know, or you were about to, and then eventually you were. And so it's just different. It's a different type of relationship that is so beneficial to anyone going through what we went through and what you know, other parents listening to this are probably going through or caregivers, you know. Being able to relate on that level is like I hate that you guys are in the club too, but you know, but like it's it's it's really special. It's really special.

SPEAKER_04 20:22

I want to point out why we are stressing uh the importance of having these type of friendships when possible, if at all possible. It's because uh it is very natural and unfortunately it's very common to make to feel very, very alone on this journey. We also tend to, at least speaking from the mom perspective, it's very common to just start throwing everything in the backpack, right? I'll do this, I'll do that, I'll do I'll do that, I I'll do this, this and that over and over until you know you look like a camel because the hump on your back is so overwhelming, you can barely get by, but by golly, you still keep going. And I I know one of the things that it took me a while to learn, and it takes a lot of reminders still, is that just because you have the ability doesn't mean you have capacity. Okay, those are two different things. And I have found that the only people who I seem to be able to take that feedback from to help me are those who I know can feel with me and not just for me, or who aren't just observing me from the outside. And when you have friends who understand the weight of just it's heavy at times. Even when things are really good, okay. I just want to say that things don't have to be hard medically in the moment for you to be weighed down.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

Yeah, sometimes that those are the moments where the the past hardness hits you or whatever it is, you know. I mean, it's absolutely hard.

Boundaries, Needs, And Safe Friends

SPEAKER_04 22:23

You know, the whole body keeps the score. You know, it's not everybody can handle a memory anniversary and support you the way that you need it. But a medical parent, you know, as somebody who's been on that road who knows what you're talking about, whoo, why am I feeling so stressed? Oh my goodness, like why is this week like got me all worked up? Oh, what do you know? It's three years almost to the day since Emery went in for surgery. Okay, well, that makes sense. Even though it's three years later, I don't have to apologize or explain myself. I know I can say that to you, Ashley. Yeah. And you're just like, oh yeah. Oh and you we just help carry it. That's that's all it is. That's why these these types of friendships, I mean, they're sacred, they are special, they are gifts, not because of what you do for each other, but it's because how you can exist with one another. Yeah. I think that really is what is why I'm always describing Ashley as magic and making her feel super uncomfortable with all the compliments. I know, I know. But honestly, it's just you realize how special that type of connection is that you don't have to explain yourself, you don't have to shape yourself differently. You can literally just exist, just be. Yeah. And it's it's held and it's respected and you're cared about and you're just loved through it.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

Yeah, it kind of feels different. I don't know if you guys have had the um blessing of having like an old friend, you know, someone you've been friends with for 20 years or whatever, and you can literally sit in the same room together, not say anything, and it like you get it, you're there, and you just are and you don't have to try. And there's something about a medical parent friendship or someone that you shared that situation with where it's kind of the same thing, it's just in a different way. It's like, you know what I've been through, I know what you've been through. Let's just say like I think pretty sure we've called each other just a cry before, you know, like and and enough said, you know, if like I just needed to get this out, like, can I just bent for a second or whatever? And it's like, I got you, I know exactly what you're feeling right now, you know, or I can I have had some kind of experience on my own where I can imagine, you know, and I think that that's something really special.

SPEAKER_04 24:59

Um so I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

And the one thing I wanted to say if I'm jumping off topic, sorry, but you know, social media and using those groups to find a friendship is a great place to start. But if that's not really your bag, one thing I would recommend is ask your doctor, ask your child specialist, or ask their pediatrician, do you know anybody else with this? And of course, if you're seeing a specialist, they, you know, typically would. I've had marin specialists, like the nurses there refer several families to me. And I adore it. I love talking to them because, you know, it's there, like I said, there's something very like special to me to share our story. And then also feel like, you know, you're helping someone else in the trenches of where you've been. And and then to get to know these other awesome kids is so fun, you know, like it's it's really special because they are fighters and warriors and they're special. And I don't know, it's been like really great, even though we're well, last year we weren't like out of the trenches. It comes in waves, as most of you probably know. But you know, it's there's something really cool about making those connections. And now Marin is five, and I let her talk to the other kids too. And like she even like made little videos to help one child, you know. It's like there's just something really cool to see it, you know. It started as like a parent thing, like me and you, but then it became like Marin and Emery. And it doesn't have to always do that, but all that to say, if the social media thing's not your friend, I got a little off topic. Ask your doctor, ask the nurses, like, hey, do you know any parents that would like probably talk to me? Because I'm just having like a really hard time, or I just want to pick somebody's brain. And I guarantee they probably have someone that they could ask, like, hey, is it okay if I let you talk to so and so? Or there may be parents kind of like me that I'll like blanket statement if you ever want to give my number, I'll do it. I don't care, you know? And that that's not for every parent by any means, not everybody's an open book, and you don't have to be. No. Which is kind of where Ashlyn was talking about earlier, but the boundaries, like set boundaries for yourself, like get what you need from that friendship or what you need from those relationships. But but ask your doctor. There's there's definitely other ways than social media to try to find those relationships and those connections.

The Weight We Carry And Memory Dates

SPEAKER_04 27:21

You can ask a church, you can ask an employer, you can go to your HR, and they're not going to be able to tell you who, but you might be surprised to learn that there's other people that you even work with who either have a child with could be a different diagnosis or have experience or a grandparent. But you could ask your HR person if they know of anybody, if they'd be willing to ask them, if they'd be open to talking with you so that way there's no pressure. But you'll be so surprised by how many people have actually been on this journey in some capacity. I'm still always surprised. Sometimes I've connected with parents who their kids were in the NICU 20 plus years ago, but their NICU journey was so intense and they never connected with anybody who had that experience or the hospital experience. And then we end up having this conversation that's like you can tell it's like a 20 plus year download. Yeah. And while it's helpful to me, but you can also see how helpful it is to them to actually process and unpack all of that. When you meet another medical parent who you connect with, it's like you get to, it's like a shortcut. You get to bypass the seven layers of bullshit that it usually takes, like start to getting to know somebody, and you get to just meet like heart to heart. You're like, hi, I'm gonna talk to you at a soul level because we've been through some real, you know, stuff. And uh we we can just like we don't have to mess with all the small talk, discomfort, annoying stuff to be like, am I feeling this? Am I not feeling that? Yeah. And uh, and sometimes these friends will come into your life like for a long time. Sometimes it's just through the most intense parts of your medical journey. Sometimes people will come in and out of your journey. But every time, you know, or anytime you can create a connection like this and add them to your what I call your support circle, I want you to think of this too. Like you alluded, you started to talk about it for you know, for Marin. Anytime we find somebody who can really support us, that's also lifting our child up.

SPEAKER_02 29:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:28

That is supporting them because the more supported we are, the more confidence that we have, which often comes borrowed from somebody else who can instill it in us. There were plenty of times that I would have to go to Ashley and say, I am scared out of my ever-living mind. What the hell am I doing? He said, You're doing the best you can, you're loving your kid, and no matter what, it's gonna be what it is, but you're gonna get through it.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Yep. That's right. That was it. There's no magic sauce for that. It's just No, you know, they aren't magic friendships, like Ashlyn said earlier. They're you're just there and yeah, and listening and listening with an ear that has some experience, you know? That's right.

SPEAKER_04 30:12

It's like a very, it's like a now. I'm going, I'm my ADHD just kicked in because now I'm like, what would you call it? What would you she saw it? Yeah. I'm like, okay, so a Somalier is somebody who has like an incredible palate for wine. So what would you call somebody who has an ear for drama? This is gonna keep me up tonight. And then I'm gonna be texting Ashley. My my wordles that are gonna come out of this are gonna be top nuts.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

Yeah, I definitely need to know what you come up with for that.

SPEAKER_04 30:42

Oh my goodness. Okay, so let's put this offer out there. We have, I know we do know of some resources. So, for example, if you have been listening to this and you're thinking, man, I I really would love to find somebody, but it has felt impossible. Parent to Parent is an excellent organization that you can look up. They have representatives that cover every state in America. And if they can't connect you to somebody in your state with your diagnosis with your child's diagnosis, they can either connect you to somebody regionally or they can connect you with somebody who, while it may not be the same circumstances, there's enough similarities that you would find common ground. And they are it's a really, really great way to link up with somebody and have them do more of the preliminary steps for it. Yes, exactly, do that part of it for you, the investigating and and get you connected. And same goes for any dads. This friendship conversation is not just for women, it is much more common for us to do this. But if you've been hearing this conversation and you're like, man, I got my girlfriends down, or I got my mom friends, you know, we we're rocking, and our our friendship is is like what we've been describing. That's awesome. Wonderful, keep it up. We want to hear from you. Actually, would love to see some pictures of you, share some pictures and stories of you with your your medical besties. But encourage your husbands, your, you know, whoever they are, any men that are involved in the caregiving, encourage them to seek their own friendships and connections because I will tell you it is a lot less common. This is just statistically speaking. I am not by any means like trying to summarize all men. It's just statistically, men do not engage in new friendships nearly as often as women are willing to in times of you know medical crises, especially with children. That's the realm that we're talking about today. And they need them. Okay. Y'all cannot just talk to each other about everything. Nobody can handle that. Nobody should handle that. But if you do not have any luck or you're not sure about parent-to-parent, please reach out to us. Send us a message through our social media, either Instagram or Facebook, or send an email or use our form on our website at Parent Empowerment Network. I promise we will respond and we will work on supporting you to find a way to connect with somebody. Absolutely. But I promise that they exist. Yes, ask your doctor, ask your nurses, ask child life specialists, ask resource teachers at schools, any of those things. It's just the more that we we band together, anytime we can bridge that emotional weight together or bear that weight, everybody's just better for it. And it also makes the celebrations of the wins so much sweeter.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

And really the best. I know. Um I don't know if you remember, but do you remember eating Oreos with one of our modern extra theme mom friends whenever you would have wins? Yeah, absolutely. She would text us the win, and that's how they celebrated, so we would get Oreos to do it. I was definitely helping to celebrate with them for that.

SPEAKER_04 33:59

Yes. I'm thinking we need to bring that back, actually. And how did you get away from that?

SPEAKER_01 34:04

Yeah, I know, right?

SPEAKER_04 34:06

Shout out to Georgia for the Oreos.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

Yes. I was just gonna say, you know, if you do reach out to those other professionals, like the nurses, who probably may be a little more helpful than the doctors, but I'm just saying that is a blanket statement for my personal experience, just because they know the families a little bit more. Or that's not even really true. They just might know who you would click more with. Anyways, even like school resource, all of those things, childlife specialists, they obviously can't just give you people's information. So let them get back to you and don't feel bad like following up and saying, hey, like I, you know, I know you're super busy, but were you able to find somebody, remind people because they don't mind helping for sure. And, you know, they I'm sure they would love to help and connect you, but definitely follow up, stay on top of it because it may take a reminder or two. So but I just wanted to encourage you to do that because it it can be game changing for your journey for sure.

SPEAKER_04 35:00

I can say with absolute certainty that both Emily and Ashley, because of your influence, I was able to be more the mom that I wanted to be for my kids through this journey than if I had gone through it alone. I'm not saying I wouldn't have been able to do it. Yeah, you would have because that's what you do, but but it was really, really nice to have shortcuts at time, cheat codes at time, and just somebody to hold my hand through the dang dark at times. Yeah. You know, because we always say we can't magic the hard away, we can't delete that as much as we wish we could. But we can make it more manageable when we do it together. We're not meant to do this alone, okay? None of us are, our kids certainly are. It's too much. Yeah, it's too much for anybody. We're too much human beings. We're all human beings. We have hearts that beat and blood that bleeds red. And beyond that, there's not there's no real superpowers beyond that that get that allow us to avoid these things, to avoid pain. But when you're not going through it alone, you talk about a different experience in front of the better.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

Yeah, and it's the emotional weight that you share. And then it's also the like, you know, trial and error things and the muddaying, daily things that you're doing that maybe someone else has a better idea or an easier way to do it, or an easier way to pack. And it's like those kind of things that really add up that is just nice to walk through it with somebody, you know.

SPEAKER_02 36:43

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 36:44

Like you said, cheat codes almost in some cases. Like it's, you know, it's beneficial for a lot of reasons.

SPEAKER_04 36:50

Being a medical friend does not mean like that's just your roots, okay? That's that's what the friendship is rooted in. And you get to start with stronger roots because, like I said, you got to skip past all the BS that we usually go through to connect with somebody. And it's it's the soul, you'll know your people. Just trust your gut. You'll know your people, you'll recognize them. And for whatever the season is, whether it, you know, it might be for a short time, it might be for the rest of your life. But I promise that it's so worth it to invest even just a little bit of energy in in finding those people. Or if you've had bad luck or you're feeling uncertain, I promise it is worth it. And also that there is no doubt somebody out there who is just waiting to find you as well to add to their life and feel better. And it's just it's a gift. It's a gift to all of us. Let's not do it alone. Rashley, you reminded us it's not a club anybody wants to be in, but man, once you're in it, you don't want to leave it.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

Yeah, exactly. You don't leave it, you know. It's no once you've lived it, you've lived it. And it's really special to get to you know, commiserate with others or share in that with others. So um keep trying. And like Ashley said, not everybody is gonna be your person, and that's fine. There's some people that you know, I'll message back on social media or parents I've talked to as a referral, and uh just as a parent, nothing professional, but you know, it's like we talk one time and that's it, and that's perfect, that's great. But then there's people like Ashlyn that you know you're stuck with for five years now.

SPEAKER_04 38:24

So if I keep picturing stage five cleaner from wedding, I would have it no other way, and I hope you wouldn't either. So No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. Okay, well, let's wrap this up with just a reminder that two things. One, if you're listening to this, I don't care when it is, please tag us in any pictures of you with your with your friends that you've you know accumulated on your pediatric medical journeys. Let's just let's celebrate together because it is such a gift. Friendship really, really is a gift. And it is a lot of times the oxygen in the rooms where there is none. It tips the scales in your favor every time you have those people that you can go to. And then please consider, you know, if you're looking for some help or you could use some support finding your people, start with us. Start with Parent Empowerment Network, reach out to us, comment on the podcast, even, just send us a note, something, and we will not give up. I promise. We will support you and we'll find you your friends or help you get on your path. And but just do it for yourself because you deserve it. Okay. There's there's nothing like it. And uh we're not supposed to do this alone.

SPEAKER_01 39:43

Absolutely. Well said, Ashline.

SPEAKER_04 39:45

Oh, thank you. And thank you so much, Ashley, for joining. I love you. Oh, I love you too. I cannot oh my gosh, anytime, yes. And stay tuned for 11 years from now when our girls are 16, we'll give updates.

SPEAKER_01 40:01

They probably will be pretty good. Yeah, they'll probably be pretty good updates. So you'll just definitely listen into that one.

SPEAKER_00 40:15

You are capable, you are equipped, and you are not alone. Together we can do hard things for our children.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

If this episode connected with you, more than five.