[00:00:00] Sheri: Hey, friends. Before we jump into today's episode, I wanted to make sure you knew some exciting news. The 2023 Winter/Spring Discovering Your Calling group program is now open for registration. Yes! Yay! I have been waiting for this, and I know some of you have been as well. So if you're ready to go from the 'ugh' of 2022 that may have left you feeling burnt out, and confused and perhaps even a little depressed, step into 2023 with me and get some excitement and hope back in your life. And you're looking for, as one of my clients said, ‘’A comfortable and collaborative space for discovery and learning. The Discovering Your Calling program is for you." So in 90 days, in my exclusive program, I'll help you uncover your god given superpowers. You'll get clarity on your true calling, you'll regain your confidence and create a life that's filled with purpose, fulfillment and joy.

[00:01:04] Sheri: So if that all sounds exciting to you, then I want to invite you to hop on a 15-minute call with me to just learn more, get all of your questions answered with no pressure to join. Now, on the other hand, if you know you're ready to join, you've been patiently waiting for this to begin, then just email me for the details. But here's the deal, space is going to be limited to just 12 women, 40 and over. Sorry guys, this one's for the ladies. We do get started the third week of January, so get your call booked and let's see if this is the right fit for you.

[00:01:42] Sheri: Welcome to the Discovering Your Calling Podcast. I'm your host, Sheri Miter. I'm here to help you unleash your strengths and get clarity on your calling. I believe when you find your purpose in life, fulfillment, joy and success will follow. If you're ready, pop in those earbuds, hit that follow button and join me on this journey toward Discovering Your Calling.

[00:02:11] Sheri: In an interview with Forbes Magazine, Stedman Graham, author of ‘Identity: Your Passport to Success,’ was asked what identity meant to him. His reply was, ‘’Identity is about positive traits. It also can be negative traits. It's a combination of things that you do. It's your talents, it's your strengths, it's your passions, it's what you love, it's what you care about.’’

[00:02:35] Sheri: What we try to do is teach people how to develop a positive identity of themselves so that they can self-actualize their potential as a human being. I love his definition of identity because too often, our identity gets wrapped up in our career and our title more than who we are at the core. And if we base our entire identity on a title, what happens when we lose that title? Or when that title is no longer serving us? Or what happens when we have tied our self-worth to that title? And I've noticed that when we see ourselves based on a title, it can keep us stuck and not ready to step into our true calling. And I want to help you break through some of those mindsets today and give you some tips to create your identity based on who you are at the core, no matter what career or title you currently hold. 

[00:03:40] Sheri:  Because here's the thing, on the Discovering Your Calling Podcast, I want to help you not just discover, but actually own your true calling. Because after all, if all I'm doing is sharing some great, inspiring interviews on the show but you're sitting there listening, and you have this thought that is holding you back and keeping you from moving forward, then I feel like I failed. And I failed you because I want to ensure that in between those true calling stories, we take the time to break through some of the thoughts that could keep you from living up to your full potential. So that's why we're going to share some of these messages. Is that a deal? All right, so deal, right?

[00:04:33] Sheri: Yeah, because my husband... here's the thing, my husband kept saying, "You just got to do all the interviews. They're just so inspiring." And I totally agree. They are very inspiring, and I hope you do feel motivated after hearing them. But again, if there's some little thought that you're sitting there thinking, "Yeah, but you don't know my story," or, "That's great for them, but what about this?" Then you're not going to reach that full potential. So let's break through some of those thoughts that might be holding you back and keeping you stuck so you can be free to find your true calling and step into it.

[00:05:13] Sheri: And I've noticed that there are really three ways that our perceived identity can keep us stuck if they are tied to a title or our career that we've had. So the first one is, actually, let me backup. What we're going to do today... So what I'm going to do today, we're going to break through those three ways that I see that happening out there in the world and I've met people and I've felt it myself. And then I'm going to leave you with some tips so that you can be more in alignment at your core with who you are. And as Stedman said, "Really live it based on your strengths and your passions instead of tying your identity to a career title."

[00:05:58] Sheri: All right, so the first one. The first one is that I call it the ‘I'm just a.’ It's when we don't think that we are worthy of serving a greater purpose because we are ‘just a mom, just a teacher, just a caretaker,’ you know what I mean? Fill in the blank ‘just a,’ and maybe you've identified yourself in that way that, "Well, I'm just a...  so who am I to go out there and share something with the world? I don't have any talents and skills to share with others. This is all I've known. This is what I've been doing my entire life." I'm ‘just a.’ And I don't know what that ‘just a’ is for you, but here's what I do know, that no matter what you've been doing for the last 10, 15, 20, 30, 40 years, you have skills, you have talents, and you have gifts that you've been using to do that job well. And you can share those same skills, talents, gifts with the world in a different way.

[00:06:59] Sheri: Or maybe it's time to explore something totally new and different. Maybe you have gifts and talents that have been dormant for the past 10, 20, 30, 40 years, and it's time to maybe take that CliftonStrengths assessment if you haven't done that yet and see what talent themes you have that you forgot are inside of you.

[00:07:21] Sheri: So maybe you've been a stay at home mom for the past 20 years. You've raised your kids to the best of your ability, and now they're out on their own, you do what you're supposed to do as a parent. Our job is to raise them up and then let them free to fly. And you're wondering now, because you were just a mom for the last 20 years. How do you even start to develop any other gifts to share with others? So that's where you want to stop and discover is like, ‘’Okay, what have I used in order to do my job well as a mom?’’

[00:07:53] Sheri: And as I mentioned, take that CliftonStrengths assessment so you can rediscover those gifts and talents that have been buried inside of you because you are never ‘just a’. Never ever. I don't care what position you've had, you're never ‘just a.’ You are meant for more. And those past titles, they always bring with them pieces of who you are as a human, as a person, your skills, your gifts that can be used and shared.

[00:08:22] Sheri: Okay, that second perception that some people might have is the, ‘but I'm a.’ And this is kind of other extreme that keeps people stuck is the, ‘’but I'm a lawyer, I'm a doctor, I'm the vice president, I'm an executive, I'm a director, I'm a chief.’’ And we got so tied up or we get so tied up in the prestigious titles that we have rightfully earned that we worry so much about what others will think if we step away from this title to pursue our true calling.

[00:08:59] Sheri: And here's the thing. Some people will question it, and some will think you are crazy if you step away from something that you've worked so hard to earn. But others will be truly inspired. And in fact, if you didn't listen to it yet, go back and catch the interview I did one recently with Hannah Meza-Irvine, and hear how her leaving her position as a lawyer turned out. It even surprised her. And honestly, when she shared it with me, it moved me to tears.

[00:09:34] Sheri: But the bottom line is it's your life, and only you and God know your true purpose. So are you holding on to a title that is no longer serving you because you're too concerned about what other people will think? Is it time to just let it go and move into where you really want to be?

[00:09:57] Sheri: Okay, so we had the ‘I'm just a,’ we had the ‘but I'm a,' what about the ‘who am I?’ And this is a season... this is the type that almost a lot of us will end up going through at some point in our lives. And in this last situation, we're going to cover what happens when we lose a title that has become our identity for the last 20, 30, 40 years and we just feel lost. Again, I call this the ‘who am I?’ season.

[00:10:29] Sheri: And sometimes that happens by choice, from a retirement, or maybe from an unexpected layoff or company downsize. But there's this period of like, "Wait a minute, who the heck am I now? I'm not a director anymore. I'm not a chief anymore. Who am I?" And if we've been so wrapped up and have our identity wrapped up in our career, we will go through this period of basically mourning, something that has been lost.

[00:11:02] Sheri: Again, whether we chose to step away from it or it was taken away from us. And you know, I just watched my husband go through this. He just retired in the fall from being a firefighter for 36 years, and it was his calling. And let me tell you, he felt very lost the first probably, month after retiring. And that was actually one of the reasons why I decided to do this episode on identity and losing it because we had a lot of conversations about just wondering who he was now. If he wasn't a firefighter anymore, who was he?

[00:11:40] Sheri: And I remember feeling that way myself when I chose to retire as a Mary Kay sales director like, ‘’Who am I now? Who are my friends? What am I supposed to be doing day to day?’’ All these things that we've known for a long time suddenly aren't there anymore. And it really is an identity shift. And I don't know if I want to call it an identity crisis, because it doesn't have to turn into a crisis. We can let it, if we want to, it can turn into a crisis and go into major depression about it, but I don't think we have to. I think it is allowing yourself to mourn that loss because it is a loss, but then it's picking yourself up after a short time frame and realizing that who you once were. Again, you can take some of those skills and gifts and use those towards something new and exciting.

[00:12:30] Sheri: So for my husband, he did have that period of mourning, but now he realizes that he's just a retired firefighter. I shouldn't say 'just a', because I don't mean it in that way that we talked about before, but he's now a retired firefighter. And those are the people who we enjoy spending the most time with now are the people who are retired, the people that he worked with once. And he's also looking forward to taking his leadership skills that he learned as a battalion chief on the fire department and sharing them in a whole new way. So he's excited about his future now.

[00:13:01] Sheri: And if this is you, and I know there's a lot of you out there like this because many of you were forced or chose to retire over the last couple of years of 2020, 2021, 2022 through this whole COVID thing, and allow yourself if you haven't yet. Spend a little bit of time mourning because it is, as I said, a loss. But then start to look for ways that you can take all of your years of experience and reinvent yourself.

[00:13:30] Sheri: Okay, some key takeaways. If you're feeling like one of these three, that's where you are. And maybe that's what's keeping you stuck and keeping you from moving forward to really discover your calling. Here are some key takeaways I want you to take hold of right now so that you can break through those beliefs and move into your, ‘’what's next’’ and find that true calling.

[00:13:54] Sheri: First thing is, number one, your title doesn't define who you are. Yes, it's a piece of who you are in a season, but it's only a piece, a very small piece, really. Number two, if you only base your identity on outside sources like careers or titles or what other people perceive you to be, it will shift and it'll shift based on different seasons. So hold on to that belief very loosely. Or better yet, release it all together, because when we base things on outside sources, that's where we can get confused and muddy and scared to let it go because we're worried too much about what other people think. Instead, step into number three, look inward to find your true identity.

[00:14:48] Sheri: As Stedman mentioned, ‘’Make it about your strengths and your passions.’’  And if you haven't done it yet, take that CliftonStrengths assessment to find your strengths. And if you did take the CliftonStrengths assessment, maybe this is a good time to pull it out and review it. Remind yourself how powerful you really are at your core. This is also a great time.

[00:15:10] Sheri: Number four, jot down your core beliefs and values. What makes you fulfilled and joyful? What do you want people to remember about you? Think on those things. Make it inward, not outward for your true identity.

[00:15:28] Sheri: And the last thing I'll leave you with, if your title was taken away from you, who are you at your core? This is your true identity. And when you realize that your identity comes from within, it will set you up to be free to explore what is next for you, what is your true calling and get ready for a greater purpose to be revealed when you open up and you just let it happen.

[00:16:01] Sheri: So my friends, as always, I am here to help you discover your true calling. And as I shared, I want to make sure that we crush any beliefs that you're holding on to that might be keeping you stuck from stepping into that beautiful place in life. So let me know. Did we just crush some beliefs that you've been holding on to? Or let me know, too. What are the other beliefs that are keeping you from stepping into your purpose? Because I'll do a podcast about that, and we'll help crush those beliefs so that we can all live in our purpose, in our calling, in what God designed us to do and be and change the world.

[00:16:50] Sheri: All right, as always, thanks for listening to this podcast. If you found it helpful, let me know. And do me a favor, share it with a couple of friends. Who else do you think would benefit from listening to this episode?

[00:17:07] Sheri: Thank you friends for spending this time with me. My hope is something you heard today inspires you to take action towards Discovering Your Calling. But before you sign off, just two more quick things. One, if you found value and enjoyed this episode, can you do me a huge favor and leave a review? Or share this with a friend? Help us grow the podcast to make a bigger impact on the world.

[00:17:28] Sheri: And second of all, if you haven't yet, don't forget to check the show notes to grab your Five to Thrive guide. It's my gift to you. It's a guide to help you intentionally invest in your natural talents so you can turn them into strengths. Think of it as your personal navigational guide on your journey to a fulfilling life. And until next episode, remember, you've been created to live a life of fulfillment, purpose, success, and joy.