What Happens When What a Mentor Tells You Doesn't Feel Aligned? [321]

Discernment. A word that I honestly had no idea what it meant 2 years ago. But also a word that I exercised my right and implemented before I knew there was an actual word for it.

Should  you always listen to what your coach or mentor says? Listen to find out.

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Transcript

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Let's talk about discernment. So, about a year and a half ago, someone who is a coach and a mentor, not my specific coach and mentor, but they were a guest on a call suggested that no one knew what my inner circle what the word visible meant. And so that I should change the name. Now, this is a multi millionaire mentor. And all signs point to when somebody says something like that to you, and they have made X amount of millions of dollars, you should listen to them. And at the time, I was very conflicted, because my heart said absolutely do not change this do not change this do not change, your program is called visible do not change it. And it was really hard for me. Because on one hand, this was not my specific mentor was just a guest mentor. And, but I do respect what they've done in the industry. And so it was very hard for me to not change the name. And but my heart deep down inside said no way, I don't want to do this, I don't feel like doing this. I don't, it doesn't feel aligned. And I remember reaching out to a friend of

mine, my 5: 1:38

30am accountability partner. And it's funny because I told her about this today. And I said, I just want to thank you again for like, confirming that I did not need to change the name of my program. And she said You already knew. But when I mentioned to her, this person said I should change the name of my program because nobody understands what it means. And she goes, I don't care if anybody understands what it means or not. She goes in a year, two years, Chrissy, everybody's going to want that name. And I'll never forget her saying that to me. And I was like, You're right. You know, I started using the word visibility and call myself the visibility Queen back in 2018. I'm not saying that people didn't use it before then. But for the most part, it was not as widely used as it is today, right now and 2023. And I remember I remember like, feeling, again, just conflicted. But I had made my decision. And I was good with my decision. And I and I respected what that mentor said. And I said to myself, you know, I hope this was the right decision to not change it. Because it just doesn't feel aligned for me to change it. Like, it took me it wasn't like an like an immediate I knew this was the name. I want to be clear, because I was coming up with different names. And then I landed on it. And then it was like nothing else compared kind of like, you know, naming your kid right? Like, once you come up with a name. For the most part, some of us, we know that it's just the name and there's nothing, nothing else. i When my son was born, we actually had two names. We had Zane, we had Gabe, and we weren't sure. And we were we loved both of them. But as soon as he was born, he looked like insane. And we both agreed. And so it was an easy, yes, after that point. But you just know, right? You just know. And so the reason I'm telling you this is because today in 2023 People screenshot and send me messages all the time about if you've noticed in the past, and the past like three or four months, I would say Facebook specifically has been saying you've increased your visibility for X days in a row, right? And so people either screenshot or they tag me, they either message me or tag me to show me their visibility. And he was just like, you know, it's so funny that when this was mentioned to me, like nobody understands what that means, what what is visible, like, what does that mean? And now everybody knows what that means. But why I'm telling you this is because when you have a mentor, even if one of my program members is listening, this is it doesn't matter if it's me or somebody else. I'm just going to call myself out right now. If you know in your heart of hearts in your soul, deep down in your soul, that what a mentor me or anybody else tells you is not aligned. Don't Don't do it. Don't do it. And the same token when I joined my first mastermind, my mentor told me, I wouldn't say she told me she suggested that I do something. And I in at the time, Chrissy fashion was like, I can handle it, I don't need to make my life easier. This is gonna work, I can do this. She told me to combine, I had two Facebook pages. And she said, I will combine those I would not, it's gonna be a lot of work. And you can talk to the two different ideal pupils in the same page. And I was like, No, that's okay. I'm just going to do it, it'll be fine. Nine months later, I realized it was not fine. It always did one way better than the other. And so I ended up combining them, and merging the pages, which you can do on Facebook. But again, it was still discernment. I thought I knew better and realize that I did it. Right. So we always have the option to use discernment, when we are being mentored. I think discernment gets to be used a lot more when you have multiple mentors, because it's really hard to do everything at the same time, right? Like, if you have one mentor saying I would do this program, you have another mentor saying I would do relaunch this and you can't, you can. But for the most part, most of us can't do all of that at one time, we would need to like okay, look at a calendar, when am I going to launch this? When am I going to relaunch this? Like, what is this look like? Right? It's the same thing. When I had three or four mentors at a time, and they were all doing challenges. And I thought, I love to win. I love to compete. I'm totally doing them all. And two and a half weeks in, I think there were both like month long challenges two and a half weeks in, I'm so burnout, that has to stop. And I literally just stopped all of them. Because I just couldn't keep up. hindsight, I should have picked one that felt really aligned. And I should have went without one challenge and said no to the rest. Because it's really hard to get to one challenge much less for, right. So it's just, I want you to understand there's a thing called discernment. And at the end of the day, your coach or mentor can give you advice. They can give you guidance, but it is totally up to you to what advice you're accepting what advice you're listening to, and what advice you are going to implement and take action on. And if it's all good advice, and you want to do it all. My suggestion is it's the same thing when you go to a conference, right? It's really hard to walk away from a conference and be like I'm doing all this starting Monday, you would burn out right? So my advice is write it all down, circle the thing that's the priority, and then come back to the others and implement them next. Discernment is a great word. Discernment is a great word to live by. Your mentor, your mastermind, your inner circle, they know you, but at the end of the day, they don't know you better than yourself. They don't know your goals and dreams better than you do. So remember that. And although I would not be where I am, without the mentorship and the coaching, and the one on one love and guidance that I have gotten. I also wouldn't be where I am without using discernment in the process. A coach or a mentor and inner circle mastermind or 1,000% worth it I would not be here. But again, discernment. Discernment. Discernment. Use it wisely. Listen wisely. Take guidance wisely. Take mentorship and coaching wisely, and use discernment whenever necessary.