From Paralyzing Indecisiveness to Quick Decisions That Most Don't Understand [407]

How many times have you grappled with a decision, unsure of which path to take? If you've found yourself in this situation, this episode will resonate with you. We discuss how developing confidence and decisiveness is a journey - one that involves being true to oneself and knowing what you truly want. It's not an overnight process, but with the right guidance, you can make strides. We also shed light on the process of outgrowing mentors, which many view as a daunting phase, whereas we see it as a beautiful part of growth. Listen in to gain insights on how to work on these aspects and stay true to your growth journey.

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Transcript

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The Evolution of Coaching and Mentorship

Speaker 1 0:00

There are times when I do not wanna think . Do you feel me on this ? Like I don't wanna think about anything , I don't wanna make decisions , like I'm just like over it , my brain is exhausted and I just want somebody to tell me what to do . I remember you I used to say this a lot , especially to mentors like can you please just tell me what to do ? Can you please just tell me what to do ? Can you please just tell me what to do ? And I honestly didn't know better at the time , and I don't think that there's anything wrong necessarily with asking a mentor or coach to tell you what to do . However , then I got to know other mentors and coaches that were in a different , we'll say , community than I was used to , and no one would tell me what to do , and I will call this the .

Speaker 1 1:01

My kid never had to study in high school because everything was so easy for him . So when he got to college he had no idea how to study . He was actually , we would say , what's the ? I don't even know what's the word . I don't know if I wanna say handicap , but it was almost like he was so used to being successful with no studying . He never had to actually learn the skill , and so when I first met coaches who would not give me the freaking answer , I was so frustrated , Like I just want you to tell me what to do . I just want you to tell me what to do . What should I do ? And it's funny because I actually listened to a training not long ago and the coach even said what the better question is . What would you do in this situation ? And I was like , oh , that reframe , that's so good , that's totally a different perspective , right . But also In the aspect of Koz is not telling me what to do . When I wanted them to tell me what to do , I had to use my thinking cap a little bit more and when I started doing it , when I first started doing this , it's major resistance , major resistance . And what happened was I actually started to come to things on my own and I started having more a ha's on my own , which is probably why I now move so fast . I am no longer decisive and , yeah , but I didn't know how to come up with those answers on my own .

Speaker 1 2:46

I had coaches Mentoring me , right and and truly like Coaching , which is so funny because I'm doing this coaching certification program now and it's like you don't have all the answers and I'm like what ? This is totally opposite , like I always know all the answers . No , you don't know all the answers , your client has all the answers . And so this , this whole reframing Now there are two different things . If I'm a mentor , I'm a coach . It's two different responses , right , but depending on which one I'm doing , some I do have the answer and some I'm not allowed to have the answer because that would be doing my client into service . So it's been a real interesting Certification process because I never realized the , the difference in the coaches that I've had and the way that they have taught me in the past 24 months to think on my own , to come up with the answer on my own , and I can't remember exactly . I'll have to like Really come back and talk to you guys about this on the podcast .

Speaker 1 3:53

But there is something that when you come up with an answer on your own , that something that happens inside of your brain and it might be a dopamine hit , but it is different and it lands different than somebody that gives you the answers . And so one of the things in this lot of the things in this coaching program is really like what are the questions I ask , as a coach right , to get my Person that I'm working with to identify , and and what are the Methodologies that I use and what are the systems that I like ? There's so many different things , but it's like , how do I phrase it ? Because every human is different , right , every person is different , and so I get to use these questions and these frameworks and these systems to get the Person on the other end right to come up with the answer For the problem that they're having , so that they actually have their own breakthrough . And it's not me , and I think that's a really , really beautiful thing .

Speaker 1 4:56

And again , I had no idea that this was an evolution that I had even went through with my coaches and mentors until recently , going through all this training . Okay , now I understand why they would never tell me what to do . Now I understand why . It's just the growth and it's just like I wanted higher . I Hate saying higher levels because I don't believe that there's levels . I'm trying to think the better word for this . We'll see higher frequency coaches that are just different than what I had had before . And they called me up right , they really stretched my belief system , they really stretched my growth . They really stretched what I thought I was capable of and I do believe wholeheartedly like me two years ago would not have been as decisive as I am today .

Developing Confidence and Decisiveness

Speaker 1 5:47

I was so indecisive , chrissy , and I think the more that we learn about ourselves and the more the growth that we do and sometimes we don't even realize all of that growth that has happened but the more that I grow I think I will make faster decisions Because it just it just comes to me so naturally now . But I mean , this has been like two years , two and a half years , in the making . That's gotten me to where I'm at right . And so if you're like it takes me forever to make a decision , that's not gonna happen overnight . It , I think , it comes with a lot of right Having a mentor or coach whatever you're gonna call them , like helping you come to answers on your own , but also the confidence in yourself and being your word to yourself and believing in yourself .

Speaker 1 6:33

I think all of that comes into the into play too , and also knowing what you want . I Don't know if two and a half years ago I knew exactly what I wanted . I had a lot of ideas rolling around in my head , but I don't know if I knew exactly what I wanted . So if you feel like you Are one of those people that just wants Somebody to tell you what to do , what if we reframe that ? And what if we started telling ourselves what to do ? Or what if we found a mentor or a coach that helped us come to these realizations on our own , so that we literally continue to keep growing ?

Speaker 1 7:14

Right , we're not given the answers all the time , or we're not . It's not like we never have to study , so it's easy , right , and then we get to college or we leave that mentor and we don't know what to do . You're not meant to be with a mentor forever , and I'll never forget when my one of my first mentors said that to me . She goes I don't want you with me forever , like , I want you to grow and evolve and I want you to move on . And I was like that's the most beautiful thing . And she goes that's what I'm here preparing you for . However , I'm not gonna stop growing , and if you want to stay with me forever , that's great . However , if you outgrow what I'm teaching , that's okay too , and that's a beautiful evolution to be in . So Are you indecisive or are you decisive and how can you work on that ? And and how can you work on your confidence and your growth and the being word to yourself and knowing exactly what you want to get there ?