Body Confidence and Breaking Societal Norms: The Power of Loving Yourself with Danielle LaRose

Listen in to today's episode as I interview Danielle LaRose, a Body Confidence Coach, Wellness Strategist, author, speaker and personal hype girl, who is on a mission to empower women and girls to look in the mirror and loves who they see. We discuss building confidence, shifting your mindset, and living authentically without worrying about society's opinion.

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Transcript

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Difference in society, like and understand it. But also, I did go through a lot of those things myself to, like, get to this point of like, okay, this is why, because I don't want another girl to have that procedure to get rid of her cellular because she thinks it's bad when all it is is just how our cells are formed in our skin. Like, that's it, yeah. So I just don't want another girl to like feel the way that I thought about myself. Yeah, so when it comes to you working with women, and I, we have a lot to cover, and I There's so much I want to talk to you about. So when it comes to working with women, do you think people, do they come to you saying, I know I have body image issues, or do they come most people just think, I just need to lose weight. And why is that? Yeah, I would say that most people don't realize that they have body image issues because we believe that it's normal and natural. Yeah, the sad part is that it actually is right, like majority of people do have body image issues, but we just take it as you know, I'm just supposed to hate my legs. I'm just supposed to want to be smaller. I'm just like, this is a normal thought, and it and it shouldn't be. It doesn't have to be. So I do think that most people come and they want to lose weight, but really, what they really want, though, is not to lose they do want to lose weight, but what they really want is to feel better. They really want to have more energy. They really want to be able to make choices and not be overwhelmed and stressed and, you know, still enjoy life like that's what they really want. We've been sold this idea. And the reason why they come with this mindset is because we've been sold this idea that the only way, if you watch any commercial where it's like, lose weight, you know, it's like people running on the beach, and they're like, sky diving. It's like you can live this great life if you just shrink yourself. Yeah. And actually, the research shows complete opposite, that losing weight does not is not equal to a better, positive body image. It's actually the opposite. When you start making changes, all you want to do is keep making changes to how you look because you haven't solved the issue that's in your mind about your body well. And you see this too, and all those crazy reality shows when people, like, get addicted to plastic surgery and stuff like that, like, it's never enough. It's never enough until they literally don't even look like anything like themselves. And it's really sad because, you know, we're all beautiful, and we all have so much to bring, and we're so focused on changing all these things that we're not really using the gifts that we were given. And I think that's really sad. And we have so many gifts, we have so many gifts that we could be sharing with the world. And you know, I've even seen this and talked to people about showing up on social media and getting on video, right? Like, I don't like the way I look, and I'm like, and, you know, I'm a I love filters. Not gonna I'm not gonna lie, I love a good filter. But some people use these filters on Tiktok that it's like, okay, that's not just, that's like, you're giving yourself bigger lips, way better eyelashes than you could get from the salon. Like, I don't even like, this is nothing like you, right? And so we it's just so available. And so many are doing it because that's way they think they're supposed to look or that that's what people want to see on them. Yeah. And I think you would agree with, like, I when it comes to visibility, I remember went to, I was in the airport waiting for a family. I saw a woman that had, like, millions of followers, and I was like, That can't be her, but I'm pretty sure that. But that can't be her, because she looked completely opposite, like, not opposite, like she still had blonde hair, like I could, so I could pick pieces apart, but I was like, You look so like this version of you could probably be my best friend, and we could hang out and chill on TV and Netflix and chill, yeah, like the version I see of you on social is like, not that. And so I think that's it. That's a disservice to humans and also for her business. I mean, you can, I guess, speak on this, right, like, for her business, that like you're not showing up authentically as yourself. So I do meet you in person. I'm confused, and yeah, I feel like I've been lied to. Yeah, exactly. And I think too this is interesting, because I was thinking about this as I was coming up with questions for our conversation. Like so much of what you do for women, I also talk about, right? So authenticity, for example, the more authentic you are, the more you're going to attract your real people, right? So how do you specifically define someone being authentic to this themselves, and why do you feel like it's so essential and helping them build their confidence? Yeah. I mean, here's the thing, confidence. Like, the definition of confidence is a trust and belief in yourself. That's whole self confidence, right? But general comments, is a trust and belief in someone something. But if we're talking about for ourselves, right? Like, that's how I apply it is. It's a trust and belief in yourself. If you are not being authentic to yourself and how you show up, then you're breaking the trust and belief with yourself, because what I'm saying is how I am isn't good enough, right? Like, I'm using those filters that make you look like a completely different person. Like, then that's me literally saying that how I actually look is not good enough. And so it's just sending signals to my brain that I have to change something, or I have to appear different for other people. And I think a lot of people think confidence and authenticity is that you have to be like, in your face, bright colors, pink hair, crazy sparkles. And if that's you and that's authentic, like you do you, right? Like that, you should do that, yeah? But especially when it comes like, you like, visibility marketing, a lot of people feel like they have to be over the top to get seen, to be recognized, to, you know, like, feel like they're an expert and they'll stand out. And while, yes, we want to stand out, like, if that's not you, then again, you're just breaking that trust with yourself, and so then you're just pushing your confidence down even further. And how are you ever going to build a successful business or life, or, you know, wellness, if you are just breaking yourself every single day by saying that you're not good enough the way that you are? Yeah, and again, but I will say I don't think that a lot of people know who the authentic them this? Yeah, I think people take a second to say, who am I? What are my values? What are my strengths? What's important to me, what's important to my mom and Susie and my partner and whoever? But like, what's actually important to me? And how am I making the choices that are right for me, not for everyone else, and not what I've been sold by society and social media and all the things like actually making choices for me? Yeah, and conditioned, because I think there's a lot of people that are conditioned to think things and and also, what was our mom like? What was our mom saying to herself? What was she doing right? Was she on the scale every single day worried about weight? And, you know, that's just one thing. You know, trust me, I got a lot of issues. I've probably, you know, done other things in my child, but that's one thing that I've never really like. I'm not a scale person. I don't even know if my skills work, to be honest with you, I mean, self and I go the doctor, but it's like, I really don't, it's not, it's not a priority, right? And so I can definitely say I think that has helped in my household, because there's never been a priority. But going back to being authentic, this is a great example, and many of you can probably relate to this. So when Tiktok first came on the scene, Crissy was taking dance classes to learn how to dance on Tiktok, whereas Danielle, it is so authentic. It's in her blood, like I just saw her doing tap lessons again, like it's so in her blood to dance. It is not in this person's blood to dance, and I'll never forget working two hours, two hours on a routine for a 10, maybe 15 second clip, and it still sucked, because it wasn't my thing. And I was like, why are you doing this? Like, if I want to do like this, like, that's fine. That's about the biggest, the best my dancing gets, unless I'm drinking, and then I am the best dancer on the dance floor, but when I am just like on Tiktok, like nobody really is coming to Tiktok to see me dance, it's just the truth, that's not what I do. But Danielle, it is so authentic and in her blood to dance and move right? And so that was just a funny thing that, just as an example, if you are not a dancer, don't try to go. I can dance right, which I don't feel like it's nowhere near as dancing as it used to be. But back in the day, that's what I was trying to do, because everybody was dancing. Yeah, no, I'm frustrated because it's not as dancing. And I'm like, well, where all my dance friends at? And why am I seeing people talking? I want to be dancing. Maybe it's a dance and talk kind of thing you can just, you know, move it and give your message. Faculty for talent, I will work on that. Crissy Bucha, I hear you. No, I love it. And like you said, Though I wanted to just touch on that real quick about what you said about, like, the scale in moms, and that's the thing. Like, I just hope that people, when they hear my message that, like, I'm not, like, could talk a lot about moms and like, Hey, you're the biggest impact on your daughter's body image. And that's based on, like, it's based on research. Like that is factual, yeah. So I don't want that to stress people out, though, right? Like, that is an exciting thing, because you have the opportunity to say, I'm going to do things different. Yeah, and it doesn't start with you telling your daughter what's new. And you don't have to be the body image expert to help her. All you have to do is get support for you. Like change helping you. Change your mindset, how you talk about food, how you talk about fitness, how you approach wellness, and all the things in your body like that will that creates Crissy ripple effect, right ripple effect, and that trickles down and makes a bigger impact. And what recent I wanted to share this because I just learned this recent research actually has even shown that girls who are learning about body image and having positive body image actually also helps their mother have a more positive body image, even if they started with a negative one. So that's the beautiful thing. Is then if we're both working together of increasing and helping us like love and appreciate our bodies, then we're fully going to both work whoever, like the women and girls in our lives, we're just going to keep elevating because we're going to say, I'm not going to talk about my body like that, I'm not going to let you talk about your body like that, and so we're going to do things different. And so I just think that's really exciting. So I've always heard this, and maybe you have research to back this up, but I've always heard that kids don't do what we say. They do what they see us doing. Is that true? I would I mean, I can't say like, because I don't have children on my own, and I don't know research about all children, like, of all aspects, but with body image, it definitely is, um, no matter, like, if a girl goes and gets mentorship from someone else, but she goes home and her mom is talking about calories at dinner, or she sees the fin again, I'm not just going to keep blaming mom, she's the commercial about take this shot to lose weight. She's getting the messages over and over and over again that the most important thing about her is her body. She's seeing people like the filters on social media. She's seeing people do different things. And so yes, she is going to do what you do, not what you say to do, because think about it, if I'm standing in a mirror and I'm like, Oh my gosh, I can't stand that. And then I look at you, Crissy, and I'm like, Crissy, love your body. It's beautiful, exactly as it is, like, and I truly believe that I still hurt myself, because that's how we operate. Like she like, you just heard me say that to myself. So all you're going to be thinking is, okay, well, if you think sometimes your body, like, what's wrong with mine? Then, yeah, right, regardless of what I say to you. So yes, everything is we have to be the example of what we want other people to do, just like, you know. So even with friends, you know, not talking about our bodies, right? I don't I try not to show up now and say, I'm sorry for how I look. Why am I apologizing for my existence? Right? I'm here. You didn't show up today to hang out with me, Crissy, because I was gonna look fancy and beautiful. You asked me to have a conversation with you. You cared about what I was gonna say. Yeah, thought about I was gonna look and so the same goes with our friends and our family and different people. So we get to stop calling attention to I apologize. Well, apologizing in general, but apologizing for how I look or when we're eating dinner, pointing out, oh, I probably shouldn't order that nobody cares at the dinner table. They're enjoying their food. Enjoy your food. Stop talking, yeah. Like, just eat. Yeah. So it's just those little things that can make a bigger impact, because if you decide not to partake in those conversations, the people that are around you are gonna be like, well, we don't talk about that, like, especially around Danielle or around whoever, like, yeah, those are important conversations to have. Yeah, it's kind of, it's a great example of this is, like, if you don't want to gossip, like, walking away when people start gossiping. Like, you know, I was not involved in this conversation. And also, you know, I think as women, we find ourselves talking about, maybe not people that we know, but like, what's on TV? Oh, she's gained weight, oh, she looks different, oh, what's wrong with her face? She's she's aged right? And so we see ourselves saying these things all the time, and it's like, I've even, like, caught myself, like, oh, wait, you know, and I talk about this a lot in business, because, like, if you're, if you're talking about, I would never pay that, okay, never charge that, because somebody's going to say that about you, too. It's so much a mirror, right? Everything we do, even in the body image and health and fitness side of things, it's such a mirror. It's like, what are you saying? Watch what you're saying. Remember who you're saying and around and who is going to pick that up. And you know, the thing is, is that our brains believe, no matter what you're talking about, our brains believe the things that we say. So if we say that about somebody else, and then we end up eventually like, doing said thing or looking like said thing, then we're going to have that same thought process on ourselves, right? Or we're going to start to hide, because we assume I said that about somebody, so everybody's going to be saying that about me. And we come up with these whole stories, and then nobody's happy. Nobody's happy. You know, I saw you shared Pamela Anderson, the last person in the world we would have thought, who would be Aging Gracefully, right? Not worried about makeup. She went to, I think it was an award show, a red carpet show with no makeup on, and it was like that own, that like, own, that like, this is Pamela Anderson that wore the red bathing suit Baywatch, right? It was Baywatch, and was running with the perfect body, you know, and all these things. And she is showing up so real today. And then we can also look at, I feel like another person who's really real in their body size is Lizzo, and I know she's working on losing weight now, but she's always been very, very confident in who she is. And so the thing is, and I think this is what you're saying, and you can rip on this little bit more, is we get to love and appreciate our bodies at whatever age, at whatever size that they are, and know that we can still be a work in progress at the same time. Yes, because if we here's the thing, if we are so obsessed, here's Yes, I don't want you to okay, how do I say I just the words body confidence, because I am not as much as the body positive like, that's not my mindset. Because to me, again, everyone is different, so everyone gets to choose, like, what labels they feel like represent them. But body positive, to me means that I am positive about my body and I just love it all the time, and that's just that, like, just deal with it, like, that's just how it is, and that's great. And I know that's not the whole premise behind body positivity. It's an important movement and all about, you know, inclusion in all different things. So it's important. But for me, I like to say body confidence, because I don't always feel positive about my body. And so when I say I need to be I want to be confident in my body. I want to be confident in the choices that I make for my body. And here's the thing, all these things sound great, right? Love Your Body, appreciate your body, all of that, but like and I can sit and motivate and talk and say, don't say this. Do say this, whatever. At the end of the day, the whole point of this is not even about your body. It's about the fact that women we know spend way more time thinking about their body and how to change it than most other things. And I don't know about you, but there are more important things in my life than just how I look. Right? Yeah, the business that I want to build, the people that I want to help, my family, my friends, my career, like all of these important pieces, but when we do the research, we know that women are spending a significant amount of time thinking about their bodies. We're thinking about our bodies and how to change them. What are we not thinking about what are we not spending time on? And so that's where I'm like I want. I truly believe this, that if you shift your body image and have a more positive body image and learn how to make fitness and food fit part of your life and help you live a great life, then everything else in your life will significantly and drastically improve, because we're taking the time away from focusing and stressing over here and putting it on other things that are actually more important. So that's the real that's the real goal. And with the Pamela Anderson, I love it, and I think it is and also it also is a representation, because people are posting it right and saying, like, Oh, this is so brave and so bold. Why is it brave and bold for a woman just to show up as she is? Yeah, I don't say that about minute. What was last time a man showed up? We were like, well, he's so brave. Like, Good job, dude. We don't he just shows up. And we're like, oh, he's great. He's whatever. And it's about the words that he's about to win the women on the red carpet. It's about how they showed up and how they looked. And then we're like, wow. And it is brave and it is inspiring, because it tells us what Pamela Anderson can do it, then I can do it right? Maybe I love car migrates. Maybe I don't need to wear the makeup if I want to cool. But, you know, so I just think it's also important that we stop and, like, we always question, like, why are we thinking this? Why are we seeing this? Why are we doing this right? And then just make a little shift in our mind, of like, okay, here's why, or here's what I think, or here's why I could shift. So, yeah, I don't know. And I think it's fun when you, like, talk about some of the stuff too, because I think of your program iconic, right? And so, like, I even have my bracelet here, my iconic bracelet, just like, remind me, because when you are showing up on social and just trying to real life, just trying to be yourself and and create the business that you want like you do have to step into that iconic version of yourself that you always talk about, and that can be very challenging, especially as women, because we, we don't want to boast, and we don't want to be like, here I am. I'm an expert, right? I even said that word today because I was like, I get to Oh, Crissy would tell me to own that. I get to see that right, and I get to show up as an iconic version of myself. And sometimes that means showing up without makeup, and sometimes that means showing up all done up and whatever is right for me. But yeah, I just, I think they definitely all obviously go together with visibility and iconic and branding and all the things, yes, absolutely, absolutely. So let's shift gears for a second, because you've had a really busy you have written a book, you have designed a girl empowerment coloring book, you have ran the 75 day healthy program a couple times, and I really want to just talk about, like, why are these things so important to you, and why did you create them? Like, what was the person creating them? Again? Everything comes down to we get to live in a world where women and girls live in the mirror and love who they see, right? And so with 75 day healthy, it's a challenge. It's a program that says F, the other programs that tell you that it has to be hard, yeah, right. Like at the programs that say that you have to do x, y and z to be successful, to be fit, to be healthy, right? They're not promoting health. And so when we really think about, what does health mean, what does wellness mean, we have to we have to shift, and we have to do something different. And so played on that and said, we're going to do we're going to do things different, we're going to simplify it, we're going to make it fun. And with a girl coloring book, again, it's all just about like, let's share this message. You know, in the coloring book, you know, there's a couple pages that are about these, and I love that my muscles are strong, and it shows girls like skating and rock climbing, and, you know, because, again, we have to send the message that our bodies do incredible things, and that's what we get to focus on, and that's what we get to celebrate, is what our bodies do. Because my body was not put on this earth to be pretty, like I make it pretty, but my body was not put here for that purpose. My body was put on this earth to do something impact, to live a great life, to have fun. And so we get to show girls how to do that from a very young age. So they say, you know, one of we had a girl empowerment event workshop, and, you know, one of the girls said, I did a video like, what did you learn today? You know, when I was like, I learned about my body power. I'm like those words, right? But it's like she learned about how to be powerful in her body, not how to change her body, not how to eat more vegetables, but like, how to actually feel powerful in her body. And that that's why I created all the things. So along with those things, how do you see your work, like, really evolving over the next five years? Oh, five years. You got it? Gosh, that's a long I feel like that's a long time. Like what's happening. That means we get to dream big, and we think big, like stages and more books? Yeah, no. I mean, that's, that's really what it is. Um, I've had a signature program in my mind of taking people through the power method of how to actually, actually, again, a lot of things that we see on social are very fluffy, right? Love yourself. And here's how to love yourself. Write some gratitude. I love gratitude, okay? But, like, it's various surface level. So when you do research based activities and you have the actions that are actually backed by science, you're going to shift your life. And so I have this program in mind. So there's that, yes, speaking on stages. I want to be on college, especially college campus stages, talking to girls, sororities, women in general, work, running workshops for kids about body image and being powerful in their bodies, writing, writing the books of how to turn up your positive body image and turn down all the BS that's out in the world. So yeah, it's just for me, it is getting the message out, and with the mission of hearing more people say, because of you, I am confident that I am a girl who have a more positive body image than me, like that's what I want to hear. So whether that means I speak on stages, I I get to get really visible on social media, and blowing up on Tiktok and all the things to spread that message. Because again, Crissy, you'll say that. I'm sure you would say this. You know, we often think, Oh, I have to speak on the stage, or I have to get on that podcast, or I have to do that stage that's called social media, and many of us don't use it because we're like, I need the book, I need the stage. I need that. Like our message. My message gets to be louder in those free spaces where it can be shared. Yes, yes, that's where my mind went. I love it. I which leads into my next question, how has visibility, supported you to really make a bigger impact and get your word out and your message out into the world. Yeah, I mean, obviously the more people that hear the message, the bigger impact you're having, the more you know, obviously your business is going to grow, and people are going to support your programs and do things like that, and you're going to get those messages of, you helped me. You changed my way. Um, you know, I'm going to so I'm going to kind of go a different route. Okay? And that for me visibility, and I shared this with you before that, when I choose to be visible when I show up, when I'm making the videos, and I'm going live and I'm doing the things, it instills a passion. Like, right now, Crissy, I'm like, sweating. I'm like, Oh my God. Like, I feel like I'm doing a whole workout right now because, like, like, My blood is boiling thinking about all the problems that I want to solve, yeah, getting really excited, getting really energized about, like, Oh my gosh. Like, why am I standing here? Like I need to go out right now and make it different, like I need to go do something. And so I think a lot of times visibility, we think of like the end result of building business, making money, doing those things. For me, a lot of it is when I choose to be visible, and I get to choose it more that it instills, like, more of a passion and a fire in me that makes me want to do more, that makes me want to show up more, that makes me like to and get excited about creating programs and helping more people. And so for me, it's a lot of like that, fun and stuff. Of that's not the payoff. That's like, financial, but it's that for me, is like, the exciting part. Like, give me two hours to make 24 tiktoks and post them. Like, I'm like, in heaven. Like, oh my gosh. Like, I'm so excited, right? Yeah, not just sitting by myself, just thinking, Bucha, right? Yeah. That's what visibility, I think, does the most for me. So it's really your and a wave an outlet for conviction and your passion for what you do. Yes, yeah. Why do I feel like I just talked for 10 minutes for no reason, and Crissy just had like, the most concise like, here's what it is. That's why I love working with I do send you text voice messages and be like, so what? Actually what you're saying is, oh, okay, I didn't know that. But I mean, yeah, sure, the beauty of having a coach to, like, help me bring it in. I love it. I love it. So we have a program coming up, speaking of visibility, called become the visible CEO, because I believe that we all can make our mark. We are not one of many. We are a category of one, and that's the one thing that I want to help everybody understand, that getting visible isn't just about showing up and recording a video. It's so much more than that. And so we're going to talk during this free program that we're doing next week. And if anyone was on the fence, about, would you say to them? Well, my first thought is, it's free. So like, what fence are we worried about? There's not a fence. Like, yeah, so there's that. But I would also say that, let's listen I talked about the iconic program. I know this is going to be a little different, yeah, but almost every program that you have done, I listen to and re listen to and re listen to, and I get something different every time. And it just like having you in my ear, which is what this program, it's free, but if we're going to have you in everyone's ear, of like, this is why, this is what you get to do, yeah. And so I think that's like, for me, that's the most powerful piece of it is just having Crissy in my ear to do, like, what you just did, and be like, This is what you actually mean. You're right. So it's just, I think that's what I would say, is there's no offense, so it's free. So like, just walk through the door, I guess, nope. Like, decide that you're actually going to listen and participate and do the things, because it actually will pay off. And I think a lot of us get skeptical about, especially free things. Like, we get skeptical like, is this actually going to change my life? Is this actually going to impact my business? And I can say with 150% guarantee, like, you can come hunt me down if, like, this doesn't actually happen for you. But like, I guarantee you that if you participate in this, like you will have a positive impact, like in your business, or really just even in your life. So that's what I would say. I love it. I love it. So there is a link in the comments. If there's not, there will be and you can up free. It's completely free, no strings attached. You can't upgrade to other things, though, I will say that, but it is free. It is a free program. And before we go, I have one more question that I want to ask, because I think it's an important question, and that is, if you could leave like one lasting message for women or girls about confidence and self love, what would it be? Um, just say that. I've kind of already said this before, but you are not put on this earth to be pretty for other humans. You are put on this earth for a purpose, and your body is the least interesting thing about you, what are your strengths? What is your purpose? What are your passions? Let's focus on those and remember that you are powerful, and you get to stand in your power and pursue the things that are actually important to you. That'd be it. I love it. I love it. How can people connect with you. And how can they work with you everywhere, the Tiktok, Facebook, wherever, wherever you hang out on social media, home girl, I will, I will be there, and I will show up more for you, and, and, yeah, just reach out. And then pretty powerful girl com, or whatever it just find me on social media, but they can work with you one on one, and you have other programs as well. Correct? Oh, that's what you were getting at. Yes, yes, one on one, coaching, confident, AF accelerator, course. Pretty powerful. Girl coloring book, if you run your life that you want to empower. And obviously the books and things are all there. So yeah, yay. Thank you so much for agreeing to do this interview with me and spending some time with me and my audience. And I'm super excited make sure you connect with Danielle. I will drop all of her information so you can connect with her as well and reach out to her like again, whether you know you have body image issues or you don't, and you're just like, I feel more confident. I really just want to get healthy, like, reach out to her, because she is such an amazing the thing we talked about enough was her hype girl, like she is the best hype girl, like she will hype you and help you feel like you can do anything and that and help you instill that inside of yourself, which I think is one of the most amazing things. So thank you so much for showing and by the way, we just recorded that you said you were going to show up more, so we have that recorded on here, so we'll replay that for you in our telegram thread. All right. Well, thanks again, and we will be back with more interviews this week. And thank you, Danielle and I appreciate you. Okay, okay, is your drink still hot? Yeah, perfect temperature. I could chug it now I was going to say yeah, I usually have to wait like 30 minutes. Yeah, alright, cool. That was good. Thank you. That was really.