Manifest with Kelly Pender

Imagine a life where you're not only aligned with your soul's purpose but you have the ability to manifest anything you truly desire.  Does this sound more like fantasy than reality to you? If so, then time to tune into this week's episode of the Live Your Extraordinary Life Podcast as I'm joined by my guest, Kelly Pender, a spiritual manifestation coach and host of the wildly popular Badass Babe Oracle podcast. Kelly  not only demystifies manifestation, but walks us through how to manifest in the most simplest of terms.

Imagine, if you will, what it would look actually feel like to have the job, the family, the wealth, or whatever it is that you want to experience. Can you close your eyes and actually feel the emotions associated with that experience? Kelly explains that visualization alone is not sufficient and how tapping into that emotional state and getting into the exact energetic vibration of that which we want to experience  - and staying in that energetic frequency - is the key to manifestation.

We examine how our thoughts and beliefs  - some inherited from our family or society - seep into our ability to manifest desires.  Tune in and find out how manifestation is the portal to stepping into your own extraordinary life.

Connect with Kelly:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/the_badassbabe?igsh=a2MyNmQxMDE2Zzdw
Website: https://kellypender.com/
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/badass-babe-oracle/id1523703137

Connect with Michelle Rios:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.rios.official/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/michelle.c.rios
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3ahwTlqiLU&list=PL-ltQ6Xzo-Ong4AXHstWTyHhvic536OuO
Website: https://michelleriosofficial.com

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Awareness is everything. Awareness is the key to your transformation. Awareness is the key to your manifestations, because when you become aware is when you can shift. When you become aware is when you can take back control. And so many of us feel like we are not good at manifestation or it's not working because we feel out of control.

Speaker 2: 0:25

Hi, I'm Michelle Rios, host of the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast. This podcast is built on the premise that life is meant to be joyful, but far too often we settle for less. So if you've ever thought that something is missing from your life, that you were meant for more, or you simply want to experience more joy in the everyday, then this podcast is for you. Each week, I'll bring you captivating personal stories, transformative life lessons and juicy conversations on living life to the fullest, with the hope to inspire you to create a life you love on your terms, with authenticity, purpose and connection. Together, we'll explore what it means to live an extraordinary life, the things that hold us back and the steps we all can take to start living our best lives. So come along for the journey. It's never too late to get started, and the world needs your light.

Speaker 2: 1:32

Hello everybody, and welcome to the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast. I'm your host, michelle Rios, and I am so excited about my guest today. Her name is Telly Pender, she is a spiritual manifestation coach and she is the host of the Badass Babe Oracle podcast. I cannot wait for you to get to know her a little bit better Without further ado. Kelly, welcome to the show.

Speaker 1: 1:58

Yay, Michelle. Thank you so much for having me. This is going to be so much fun.

Speaker 2: 2:02

It is All right. Let's start off with the first question, and that is what does it mean to you, telly Pender, to live your extraordinary life?

Speaker 1: 2:11

I love this question. So for me it's living life, for me, like for my soul, and what I came here to do and what I came here to create and express and just be with the world. That feels really expansive and extraordinary, right Like prioritizing yourself, feeling effing good, and then everything else just comes into alignment. Everything else flows in your life, your relationships, your business, everything yeah.

Speaker 2: 2:43

I love that. I love the element, Kelly. All right, so we have an audience, sort of a mixed audience, but broadly speaking we're talking men and women, professionals, a lot of corporate folks that may not really understand what a spiritual manifestation coach is. Talk to us a little bit about what it is you do.

Speaker 1: 3:07

I love this. So I work with women to allow them to really uncover what they came here to do, to give, to share with the world, right Like AKA, stepping into who the F you are and who you came here to be, and aligning to your sole purpose. And so, for those who are new to that term sole purpose it's like what does that mean? Because I already have a job, I already have a career, I'm a mother, I'm a father, I'm a wife, like whatever, and that's wonderful, that is great. It's going beyond that where. It's going beyond the labels, it's going beyond the identity of what we know, what we were taught, what we were conditioned to believe, and it's really allowing yourself to journey back home, to your soul, right Like coming back to what lights you up, how you feel good, and coming back to and this is a really big question it's like what do I actually desire for myself in my life? What's my biggest desire?

Speaker 2: 4:14

We talk a lot about. Everyone already knows what it is. Their purpose is. They just haven't necessarily uncovered it right, like part of our job, if you will here and I use that word somewhat loosely but is to uncover what our purpose is and that's coded deep within our soul. So let's talk specifically manifestation, because I love the term. I think it invokes a lot of meaning for a lot of different folks. What does manifestation mean to you?

Speaker 1: 4:48

Yes.

Speaker 1: 4:49

So let me just start by saying I've been in this manifestation self-development world for like 10 to 12 years now, and when I first came in to learning about manifestation and I'm just saying this to validate anyone who has any feelings on this it felt very hard. It felt like it was a whole entire other nine to five job to manifest, and so I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to tap into the manifestation world because it felt like it was adding more to my plate, adding more to my to-do list, and I felt like I was going to do it wrong. So why even try? All right, and so I'm sharing that with anyone who has those thoughts, who has some feelings. And so once I really tapped into understanding manifestation, it's actually really effing easy, and what I do in my work is I teach it in a way where it's simple and where it's fun, not where it feels heavy, not where it feels hard, not where it feels like another effing job. And so, to me, manifesting is just allowing yourself to come into alignment, which we can talk about them, really uncovering your unique alignment, tapping into the truth of who you are right, and it's seeing beyond the physical realm. It's seeing beyond your current reality, so where we are right now, in your current reality, a lot of us can see okay, I don't have the money that I want yet, I don't have the job that I want yet, I don't have the family that I want yet.

Speaker 1: 6:24

And then a lot of us live there in our current reality, feeling stuck and feeling very separate from our desires and from our manifestations. Right, and a lot of us live in that energetic frequency of it's not here yet, so it's not working. It hasn't appeared my way yet, so it's not possible, it's not coming. And so that, to me, is the old way of being, the old way of running your life. And so, knowing where you currently are and where you desire to go, instead of seeing it which is manifesting, instead of seeing it as this hard, heavy thing that's separate from you, it's like how can I bridge the gap to easily bring my manifestations into my current reality?

Speaker 1: 7:12

Let me just simply tap into the energetic frequency of my manifestation. Let me allow myself to come into the feeling of what would it feel like if I already had the job? What would it feel like if I already had the family? What would it feel like if I already had the money. When you uncover the emotion behind it and tap into that, is when you start to come into the energetic frequency of your vibration, when you focus on the unlimited possibilities, the unlimited possibilities, the unlimited potential, the emotion of your desire is when you can easily bring it into your current reality. But we're so used to and conditioned to be like. What I see in my current reality is what's happening. This is the truth, there is nothing more, and so this is all there is for me, which our energetic frequency goes into lack.

Speaker 2: 8:10

I'm likely going to date myself by saying this reference, and I'm going to go anyway because it's helpful for me. I remember listening to Wayne Dyer way back in the day. I'm going back 20-something years. So he had a book that came out that said you'll see it when you believe it. And for a minute I thought that title must be wrong because it's I'll believe it when I see it. Right, that's the saying, that was the whole plan, words of understanding, manifestation and manifesting your destiny, which he was, of course, one of the pioneers around talking about the energetic world, and it was a first. I must conceive and think of it in my mind, then I must feel and then I can have. And so why don't we break it down for folks that might not be as familiar, who might be thinking well, do I just sit there and think at thoughts and feel what it's going to feel like, and then it's all going to come to me. Let's talk about what manifestation is and what manifestation isn't.

Speaker 1: 9:15

Yes, I love this. So one thing I share a lot is I feel that the whole high vibe like become high vibe, raise your vibration and then you can manifest your desires. I think that's BS and I also do not believe that you need to be more positive in order to manifest your desires.

Speaker 2: 9:40

Hold on. We're going to stop here for a minute because this is going to shake some people's foundation here, so we're going to hold there for a minute. Why don't we think that we need to raise our vibration and order to manifest? Because if that's possible, man, when I'm in a bad mood, what else am I manifesting? Ooh, maybe you're going to let me in on manifesting things I don't want.

Speaker 1: 10:03

So this is what we tend to do. We'll be scrolling on Pinterest and we'll see this pin that's like raise your vibration and you'll become a millionaire. I don't know, I'm just making something up, but we see that and it catches our attention, and so we're like I need to raise my vibration, I need to think more positive, pull in more positive thoughts, right. And so I like to think of that as having this unstable foundation, because when we're manifesting, we want to build this really solid, stable foundation that holds us so that we can hold more, aka expanding your capacity of receiving. And so when we have this unstable foundation, I think of it metaphorically as this wound and we're just slapping a band-aid on it, just being like let me just think more positive, even though right now I feel really low, I feel really unworthy, I feel unvalued, I feel purposeless, I feel useless. But let me just ignore that. Slap a band-aid on this wound and just try to be high vibe and show up with this fake energy of like I feel good, but really you don't feel good and really your energetic frequency is communicating to the universe. I don't believe it's possible. I'm living in this state of lack of scarcity, of not enough of nothing's working for me, of it hasn't happened yet, so it's not gonna happen.

Speaker 1: 11:36

And so that, to me, is the old way of manifesting being high vibe, just trying to be more positive, slapping a band-aid on it. And then, you see, I feel like I'm doing all of these things, all of these methods to manifest. It's not working. I'm not seeing my manifestations, I'm not feeling that much better. And then what happens? We feel stuck. And then we continue to go back to our old ways of being, our old habits, our old beliefs, being in our comfort zone. And then, all of a sudden, you're like I'm in the same exact spot that I was one year ago, three years ago, five years ago. What is happening? Why can't I break free? So let's break this down.

Speaker 2: 12:20

It's not free about frequency. What is the real impetus? Because I know energetics is an important part of your work. If I want to manifest the best version of my life, film play whatever that means for you. If I want to do that, walk me through the steps. If it's not about raising the vibration, or is it about raising the vibration but you need to heal before it's really going to be effective, I'd love to kind of better understand the nuance.

Speaker 1: 12:51

Yes, I love this. So the easiest way to start because I know that I weaved in there right, like your energetic foundation. So the easiest way to start is just to check in, notice how you are viewing life, right, because we can view life through a few different lenses, but the most common ones are you're either viewing life through oh my God, there's so much available to me, there's so much unlimited abundance, unlimited wealth, unlimited love, happiness, joy. I'm going to choose to view my life through that lens of Anything could happen at any given moment. I trust that.

Speaker 1: 13:37

I know that I'm solid in me which we'll talk about in a second, or you can view life, which most of us have and most of us are becoming aware of, it's not here yet. It's not working. I don't have the money, I don't have the relationship. I just wanna have this job. I don't like the house that I'm living in, I don't like the car that I'm driving, I don't like the clothes that I'm wearing. I don't have enough. I don't feel enough, I don't feel worthy. I don't think this is ever gonna happen to me or for me.

Speaker 1: 14:06

So you get to start there and see where am I viewing life? Am I viewing it from a state, a foundation of lack, of scarcity or not enough? Or am I choosing this as a choice, and I didn't know. I had a choice in this which was like a big game changer for me, when you become aware of how you're viewing life, either from the foundation of lack, scarcity, not enough, or you get to choose to view it from holy shit. Literally anything can happen to me. I can create anything because I am the one in control. I am the one who can pool in my desires, my manifestations.

Speaker 1: 14:46

I just didn't know that, I didn't know that it was up to me, I thought that it was all by luck. I thought it was all by chance, I thought it was all by, like, that's great if it happens to you, but it's never gonna happen to me, right? So you get to check in number one how are you viewing life? What direction are you leaning in your foundation when you see, wow, yeah, I view things through the lens of lack in a lot of different ways, and it can show up in sneaky, sneaky, sneaky ways that we don't even know. Right, maybe you receive a random bill in the mail and you just feel yourself being like how am I gonna pay this? I don't have the money, I don't know, and you feel yourself going back to lack. Right, you have a choice it is very relatable.

Speaker 2: 15:31

But let's stop there for a minute because I do think like in my mind and correct me if I'm wrong on this what you've just explained feels like the choice to view the world as limitless possibilities or from a place of scarcity and lack. To me, I would have equated that before this conversation, as I'm operating from a positive outlook and a more higher vibration state of being, versus that lower state of vibration or being and a place of lack or scarcity. So help me understand the nuance, because there's probably gray areas that I'm not understanding from you yet.

Speaker 1: 16:16

Yes, so we'll go back to the getting a random bill in the mail. You could start your morning and be like, oh my God, I'm just feeling good, I'm deciding to feel good, I'm being high five, my energy's up, yeah, yeah, yeah, here we go, I'm focusing on the positive, and then you could get that bill in the mail and how you are reacting to this bill. Right, Notice how you're reacting to your external circumstances. If you feel yourself immediately going into lack, going into scarcity, going into not enough, you still have that underlying energetic frequency of lack and scarcity that hasn't been addressed yet, that hasn't been cleaned up yet.

Speaker 1: 17:00

And a lot of that has to do with these negative emotions that we feel towards money, negative emotions that we feel towards abundance. And it's almost like if you're not addressing those emotions that you feel around money and around abundance, they just become unprocessed, right, and then that energy compounds and again it goes back to the bandaid thing. You can slap a high vibe on, you can slap a positive thought on, but if you have those negative emotions around your desires and you actually don't feel safe, having holding and receiving more that high vibe, that positive thoughts and positive mindset, isn't actually going to do very much because we're not getting to the root. We're not uncovering the root problem, the root emotions around your desires that's actually preventing you from having what it is that you most desire for yourself. Does that make?

Speaker 2: 18:02

sense. It makes sense, but I kind of go, let's dig in, because this is kind of the meat and the potatoes around manifesting. I'm rolling up my sleeves here because at the end of the day, choosing to be in that space or state of hey bump in the road, I got an unexpected bill, but I know that that's gonna all work out because I'm in the fields of limitless possibilities. Would you still call that a high vibration state? To me that's a true vibration state when you can get hit with some negativity, because my experience around this, being what it is mine only is when I have tried to think positive thoughts and will my way to get stuff doesn't work. But when I put myself in a state of higher vibration, which means to me there's really two emotions that are playing the world, it's like state of love or it's a state of fear, and love is a range of emotions that fit into the bucket, that are more what we would call on the positive angle or side of things, and fear has a few things like frustration and lack of trust, all of those things. It doesn't have to necessarily be fear, could be frustration, could be anger. It can show up in different ways, but ultimately it's sort of in the love camp or the fear camp, right, you kind of either see the world as limitless possibilities I can operate from here or I'm not really in that solid of foundation.

Speaker 2: 19:39

I can be there, things are going well, but the unexpected bill comes in or bad news strikes or God knows, or anything that's happening in the world that kind of brings down, I would say, vibration, brings down your vibration, and you got to find a way to step back and recalibrate, because it is really difficult to. First of all, everyone feels the energy right, I talk a lot about this as well, like even my dog. My dog is very aware of my state of being. He's a great one to check in with. He knows when I'm in a good space and when I'm not, and he's very concerned when I'm not, and that all goes to my mind. But I would have called it and this is where I really wanna kind of dig in with you, tally my frequency, my energetic frequency, and I get the idea of like, are you really steadfast, are you choosing to be in that? But my understanding is that you're like it's beyond that. So help me understand a little bit more.

Speaker 1: 20:41

So how you were saying the unexpected build that comes in the mail, and you're like before, I would be like let me change my vibration, even though I don't know how I'm gonna handle this. But then, the way you said, I came into a state where I know that this is all going to work out for me, it's all going to be handled and taken care of. Even the way that you said that I can feel your energy backing that. I can feel that your beliefs are backing that and that's that strong, solid foundation because you actually believe it. Right. That's the frequency of trust, of certainty, of I know it's all going to work out for me. I don't know how, I have no effing idea how, but I know it's all going to work out for me, right. The way that you come into that, your energy is backing it, your belief systems are backing it. The high vibe is just slapping the bandaid on, acting like I know it's all going to work out, but you don't actually believe it and your energy isn't behind it.

Speaker 2: 21:48

Okay. So I'll give you an example from my real life. The last few weeks have actually been really weighing on my soul. I still think, with all the events of the world, it's hard to really be, I think, in that state of up, higher vibration on a consistent basis when there are so many heavy things happening in the world and you see just a lot of terrible things unfolding everywhere. And my home state of Maine had a mass shooting right after the war in Israel broke out and the atrocities there. So there's just a lot of heaviness and I find myself in a state of contemplation, not really worried about it.

Speaker 2: 22:29

I sort of see it as the moment in the season to sort of go further inward and, quite frankly, shore up my foundation, because my reaction to these things that are happening I can't fix them and I can't solve for them in a reactive state Again, I'm going to go back to frequency.

Speaker 2: 22:52

I can, focusing on my own well-being, raise my light, my peace, my ability to control what I can control, and that is my decision on how I'm going to try to contribute to the betterment of what's happening around me by taking care of me, really checking my heart space, with my soul. Now my vibration probably isn't as high as it would be if I'm on vacation and enjoying family time, but I'm still feeling pretty solid in my knowing it's all ultimately going to be okay. This is a moment in time that feels heavy, but things are unfolding. My best contribution is to take care of myself so that I can be a light for those that might need more light in their lives. Again it goes back to, I would say my vibration probably isn't as high, but it's still in a positive state. Overall. It's a little bit more introverted, I think. Probably in the state there's a more contemplation and there's an active stepping back and stepping inward.

Speaker 2: 24:13

Tell me about what happens the ability to manifest even in that state, for you because that's been a question on my mind as I sort of pull my energy inward, take care of my own heart, my own soul. What is the manifestation ability from that state of being?

Speaker 1: 24:34

I love this. This is very real and what happens to a lot of us on a daily basis, if not multiple times. Today, let me just start by saying, because something's coming through that I want to share. Let me just start by saying I don't even subscribe to the word high vibe. That's not even in my vocabulary. Because when I was being like I need to be high vibe in order to manifest, that was me telling myself. I can't feel sad, I can't feel angry, I can't feel my feelings, because it's going to eff up this vibration that I need to manifest.

Speaker 2: 25:08

All of that is like no, I totally get where you're coming from.

Speaker 1: 25:14

We think that, as you're sharing that, I love how you said. Coming back to you, this is what wants to be channeled through right now for those who are listening as well. Why can't you give yourself permission to feel the heaviness of the world, to feel what's going on? Why can't you give yourself permission to feel really effing angry, really sad, really hurt, really confused, bitter, right Resentful? Why can't you give yourself permission to feel those feelings? Because so many times we tell ourselves that we're wrong and we tell ourselves, if I give myself permission to feel these feelings, I'm going to stay there, it's going to take over and it's going to be a part of who I become, and then I won't be able to manifest, then I won't be able to be more positive, then I won't be able to keep my head above water and either for my family. None of that was true. That was just a meaning we placed behind feeling your feelings and emotions.

Speaker 1: 26:18

My advice to you is things are going on. Things in life happen. When you give yourself permission to feel all of your feelings, all of your emotions, knowing that you're not going to live there, it's just temporary. It's just temporary to feel those feelings and emotions. The second you create the space to feel them, whether that's for 30 seconds, whether that's for 30 minutes, whether that's for a full effing day. The second you give yourself permission to feel your feelings and emotions, your body accepts them, your body can process them and then you can move forward.

Speaker 1: 26:56

We tend to think and when I say move forward, I mean, like you said, recalibrate and then come back into feeling good, pooling in those feelings of feeling good. This is where we tend to get confused, because we're like I need to be high vibe, I can't be sad, I can't be angry, it's going to eff with my manifestations. No, it doesn't. If you have a very solid foundation of, I know, trust and believe that everything is working out for me, I know trust and believe of the unlimited possibilities and potential coming my way. I am certain in that. If you are just certain in knowing that your manifestations are on their way to you, if you are certain in knowing it's all working out for you, then you can have your feelings, you can have your emotions.

Speaker 2: 27:45

Yeah, this is the way I look at it, because I've gone through a lot. I don't have a problem with feeling feelings. I feel like it's an important part of life to experience them, express them, but I also think it's important to release them. I think what's happening is there are a lot of people, whether we talk about the war in Israel, whether Gaza with Israel, whether we talk about what's happening with mass shootings and gun violence, they just stay in that space for a really long time and they soak in it. I think it's important for us to be able to express our disappointment, our fear, our anger, our frustration, our sadness, our grief, our worry, but also find ways to release it. I do think that part of there's countless things like if you don't say you're with this group or you don't stand with that group, and I found that to be incredibly divisive. For me, it was expressing the sadness, the grief, the frustration, the worry, letting that go and coming back inward, because there are so many people stuck in those emotions. They're living it morning, noon and night, morning noon and night, morning noon and night. My feeling is we don't help anybody not ourselves, not the world, certainly not anybody that's suffering right now to stay in the state of suffering with them. I think that part of releasing it and everybody's going to do it differently right. For me, I think, it's a quieter contemplative time. There's a better lot of silence than perhaps I'm used to as I process my thoughts and feelings on a lot of things that are happening. But I do think it is really important to find the ways to channel or release them in some ways as we go on, because that's where I see a lot of people stuck. It's just so painful to watch and for them to stay there. Right, they don't get out of that state.

Speaker 2: 29:56

Let's talk about manifestation during these heavy times, because we're going into a new season, we're going into the colder season, we're going into the winter, we're going into almost, I feel like my body's in this rhythm, with a more contemplative season of life for all of us too. Right, without a certain. What winter is? It gives us an opportunity. Just like the leaves fall off the trees and the flowers are not blooming, we all go into this hibernation state, necessarily, but this state of renewal, right, because we need to rest, we need to contemplate, we need to refuel, nourish all those things before the next season of blossom and prospering and spring or what have you Tell me a little bit about how you see that, how manifestation works while we're going through this state of wintering? What do you refer to? The state of wintering in your own life?

Speaker 1: 30:57

I love that you said this, because I was just sharing this with my Badass Babe community. Was it yesterday? Or Halloween? Because it's Halloween and sovereign, which is like the witch's new year, and I was like you guys.

Speaker 1: 31:09

This is such a powerful time because we are actually releasing old ways of being, patterns, habits, stories, belief systems that aren't supporting us to go into the winter season, to go into our portal of transformation. So that's what I was calling it the other day with them, because I like to think of it as, when you're manifesting, you are either knowingly or unknowingly planning the seeds to your desires, right? And so a lot of us think like and this is a programmed and conditioned belief but a lot of us think, okay, when I go into the winter season, I'm feeling more tired, I'm feeling like my body wants to rest more, I'm feeling like I want to hibernate, I feel like I literally just want to wrap a cozy blanket around me, lay on the couch and just nap, or like binge watch shows or read a book, and so it's warm again. Yes, yes, exactly. And so that's a part of the process, that's a part of the cycle, and I have fought that for so long because of the conditioned belief. I need to do more in order to receive more. I need to do more work towards my desire in order for it to manifest than you don't.

Speaker 1: 32:27

Right, you actually get to do less because in this portal of transformation, you get to come back into alignment with you. You get to rest, you get to nourish yourself, right, and it's almost like that restoration period where you get to reattune, you get to just be, and just being is tapping into your feminine flow, right, tapping into your femininity, your side of receiving that so many of us fight because we're like no, I need to do, do, do, do, do in order to make this happen. And it's like this is your time to come back into balance and to open up your side, your channel of receiving right, Knowing and believing. Wow, I get to focus on resting. I get to focus on nourishing, rebalancing myself, realigning, knowing and believing.

Speaker 1: 33:24

The seeds to my manifestations are already planted, they're already on their way to me. I get to just be in this winter month. I get to hibernate. I'm in the portal of transformation. I mean you can manifest at any given moment, but once springtime comes, I'm ready to receive because I built that foundation energetically, emotionally, physically, spiritually. I'm ready because I prioritize myself right. I don't need to do more in order to receive more.

Speaker 2: 33:56

And just for our audience, if it gets really important. When we talk about the masculine energy and the divine feminine energy, we all have it. It's not something only can have. In fact, there are a lot of women who don't tap into their divine feminine because we're so used to showing up with more masculine energy and what Kelly explained is the do do, do state. So, just to make sure everyone is clear, we all have both male and female energies that we are able to tap into. It's just that there's not always awareness that they are both. One is more of an active doing and the male, masculine energy, and one is more of a state of receiving and the divine feminine. So let's talk a little bit about that, because I think a lot of people and I certainly was one of these folks for a long time Winter season was often equated with seasonal mood disorder.

Speaker 2: 34:52

There's less light or less active, sometimes we feel more blue, and I think seasonal mood disorder or effective disorder, I think, is the actual name for it it can impact a lot of people. How can we look at winter, this potential hibernation period, or as a period of restoration and allow whatever happens to come in? Because I think for sure I thought it would exercise light therapy supplements. How can I not get to this place where, quite frankly, I just felt out of tune with where I wanted to be when it gets colder and darker and we don't have exposure to as much light?

Speaker 1: 35:37

Yeah. So I think that this is a really nice opportunity for you, for this winter season, for the listeners, to be like how would I desire this winter season portal to be for me? Let me create a new definition around it. Let me create a new decision around it, because I know in the past, I placed meanings around this winter season as feeling alone, feeling isolated, feeling like I want to do more, but I can't leave the house because of snow, it's cold, whatever, I don't see as many people, and, although that can be true, that's not the truth. That's just how I was viewing it and how I was defining this winter season.

Speaker 1: 36:24

So this is an opportunity for you to be like how would I like to decide and define how this winter season can feel for me, and I want it to be in a really new way. That's going to feel out of your comfort zone. That's going to be tapping into your feminine energy. That's going to be tapping into. Wow, I get to create a new definition around rest, where before I made rest mean that I wasn't doing enough, that I was unproductive, that I wasn't being in my purpose, that I wasn't being in alignment and that I wasn't being useful. How would you like to define a new definition around rest and receiving in this winter season?

Speaker 2: 37:05

I think that's so important because let's just not put a fine point on it here. To put a fine point on it, let's say a lot of people would equate it with being lazy. Yes, I'm being lazy, yes, I'm not doing enough, I'm not productive. And I do think that is a really important conversation of there is a time and a season for doing and there is a time and a season for receiving, and it's not to say well, it can't happen at the same time in the same season, but I do like the idea of this wintering time as being a time of more rest.

Speaker 2: 37:42

Just like nature goes cycles the leaves are falling off the trees, new buds have not yet formed, the animals a lot of them who do hibernate. This is the time for it, and it is just generally less active time for nature itself. Right, you don't see? And yet, under the surface, so much is actually happening, and that's, I think, a really interesting conversation for us. How can we be in our divine, feminine energy in this wintering season? And while we may be quote unquote doing less, there's a lot happening under the surface to set us up for bringing into our lives those things that we want to experience.

Speaker 1: 38:30

Yeah, and you get to create a new meaning around it, right? Do I want to continue to view rest as lazy or do I want to choose to see rest as an opportunity to receive, an opportunity to realign, an opportunity to rebalance, to nourish myself, mind, body and soul? You're the one who gets to choose that meaning around it.

Speaker 2: 38:52

I'm very curious because we talk about the importance of stories, right, the stories we tell ourselves? Or what shape our lives? For sure, far not, and we are relational beings on this journey. We connect via stories. So the stories we tell ourselves, about what we're doing or not doing, what's happening or not happening, what we see or know, all of these things shape our level of expectation, they shape the level of how we show up our moods, they shape our energy field, they shape everything. And so talk to me about how one, if maybe they're in a place of I'll believe it when I see it, can start to shift the story to be in a place where I believe it, and so I'm going to start to see it and bring it in.

Speaker 1: 39:49

Yeah. So that thought of I'll believe it when I see it. Is that working for you? Does that feel good for you? Right, like that's where you need to start. And so, when it comes to coming back into control of your life and being the creator of your own life it is so important to become aware of, do I actually even believe that? Or have I just been choosing to carry that belief from my parents, from my grandparents, from my aunts and uncles, applying it to my life? Do I even believe that? And so this is an opportunity for you. When you want to shift any type of shift in your life, but especially in manifesting and self-development, you get to become really effing curious Notice your thoughts, notice your beliefs and question them. So many times we just carry them with us for years and years, decades and decades, and we never even stop to ask ourselves do I believe this or is this working?

Speaker 2: 40:55

for me.

Speaker 1: 40:56

Because right now, you may be asking yourself or reflecting on no, actually, that thought of I'll believe it when I see it isn't working for me, because I haven't seen it yet and I'm maybe in the same place that I was one five, 10, 20, 30 years ago. So would you like to choose something different for yourself? Would you like to choose new beliefs for yourself? And so you get to just question everything. When you question everything, when you get curious, is when you take back control. And I always say this awareness is everything. Awareness is the key to your transformation. Awareness is the key to your manifestations, because when you become aware is when you can shift. When you become aware is when you can take back control. And so many of us feel like we are not good at manifestation or it's not working because we feel out of control. Right, we feel out of control.

Speaker 2: 41:57

We feel out of control because we put a time limit on manifestation, because I would say look, let's say, for example, someone says okay, I'm willing to let go of that limiting belief, I am part of the creation process, I am able to manifest and what is in my heart is possible. And they stay in that state. And they stay in that state, and they stay in that state and it doesn't come. I often think is it right around the corner? But let's just say what could be happening for that person.

Speaker 2: 42:32

There's this wonderful I think it was like a New Yorker cartoon where the guy was in the cave in the gold mine and he's like packing away, trying to get to the treasure that's buried deep in the cave right, and he's going in and like years go by nothing, and he finally this is like I'm defeated, I'm out, I'm done, I've spent 20 years of my life digging for the treasure and see him walking away. The cartoon flips back to the picture and it shows like less than a millimeter to the other side and there's the treasure. And it just felt very metaphoric for life in general. Where we put the energy out, we have our intention, we seem very clear on what we want to bring about but it's not coming. Maybe the phrase is fast enough. What do you say to people who experience that frustration of I'm trying, I believed it, I was there but it didn't come. I was in that state for a long time. So, in the blank, love, money, the baby, the house, whatever all the things? Yes, oh I love that.

Speaker 1: 43:39

So there's a lot of things that are coming through for that. Where I like to start is so many of us are, like, so focused on the time, and when we're so focused on the timeline and we see the time passed, we then again make that mean something about us it's taking too long, it's not going to happen, and we focus on that. But what's really important here is that so many of us truthfully believe that when we receive our desire, our manifestation, the money, the baby, the house, the relationship, we truthfully believe that once we receive it, then we will feel happy, then we will feel successful, then we'll feel complete, whole, whatever feeling that you're searching for and we let that be the leading energy and because we're seeking and searching that feeling that we believe that the manifestation is going to provide us. That's why it feels like you're just seeking, searching, waiting for so long. And so let me ask you, what if it had nothing to do with the time and it was like, could I decide to feel what I've been searching from this manifestation in the here and now? Can I decide to feel happy now, to feel successful now, to feel abundant now, to feel joyful now, regardless of the thing that I've been so badly desiring. Can I feel that now? And you get to ask yourself yes or no? And that's what brings you back into control and into the Creator.

Speaker 1: 45:14

Because let me tell you, if you are waiting for money to come your way, to feel happy, to feel successful, to feel complete, it could take as long as it needs to be You're going to get the money. It's going to come regardless, like you are an infinite being with unlimited possibilities. It's going to f-income. When it comes, you're not going to feel what you've been seeking to feel. You're going to get it and just be like I feel the same. On to the next thing. What else can I manifest now? And so what you're really seeking is the emotion behind it, is the feeling behind it.

Speaker 2: 45:46

So let's go into two different directions, because I can imagine there are some people going well, but what about my uncle, my grandparents, that never got to that place that they always wanted? What was happening then? If we can all manifest, is it? They just didn't believe it. They weren't in the right frame of mind. If it's not about being in a high-vibes state, if it's really about being in this, knowing, but it never came. I'm going to give you a good example for my grandmother.

Speaker 2: 46:19

My grandmother was a fantastic manifestor, but she never manifested money. She never happened, but she's the wealthiest person in the room and let me just say, like 93 years old. At her funeral I went to give the eulogy. I go to stand up at the lectern in front of all these people, and then I was thinking who are these people? All her friends are gone. Who are these people?

Speaker 2: 46:45

And what my grandmother had done is not educated. She was a seamstress for many years. A lot of loss in her life lost a daughter to Dupferia, a son in the Korean War. A lot of travesty, a lot of atrocity. Bad things happen and yet my grandmother was in the state of perpetual well-being. She became cancer at a time when nobody did it was the 70s Got sick and died. Then, like that's what happened. She had advanced ovarian cancer and survived it. My grandmother never spoke an ill word about anyone, which I've not always sort of fascinated me, but I came to realize like she was the wealthiest woman in the room here.

Speaker 2: 47:25

I was super educated, crushing it in the corporate world, doing all the things and the feelings of belonging, because I do think that that's largely what we all are seeking, right. We want to feel connected, we want to feel like we belong, we want to feel loved. All of those things that I was searching for through those other things that I was told. If you get these things, then you'll actually feel happy. My grandmother had, without having any of the things, and she was so happy, she enjoyed life. She was the Smell, the Roses kind of person and people showed up. People showed up for her funeral to honor her because of the way she made them feel and I had to believe.

Speaker 2: 48:12

The lesson was for me. I'm sure that a lot of people had lessons that day, but the lesson for me was you've been seeking out there all of these things. She had it in here all alone. Yes, ooh, so do you if you tap into it? Right, I just thought they're going. I mean, I thought I was going to have it all together and I was cool, calm, collected. I'm a public speaker, I can handle this, and I was this openly weeping guy. Oh my God, forget my talking points. My grandmother was the worst person in the world. She had nothing and she had everything.

Speaker 1: 48:51

Yes, oh, I love her. And when you said she enjoyed life right, think about it right now. How many of us actually give ourselves permission to enjoy life?

Speaker 2: 49:04

We delay joy. I think that's an unfortunate reality of modern society. We delay joy for vacations and weekends and after work time. The biggest compliment my 16-year-old has ever given me is you act like a kid. You don't act your age I'm hardly can't. I'm going. Thank you, because when I was a kid I was too much of a grown-up. I grew up too fast. So this is like acting like a kid.

Speaker 1: 49:30

I'm having so much more fun yes.

Speaker 1: 49:33

I love that. It's so true. And so many of us don't allow ourselves to enjoy life because we don't think that's enough, right? Because we're like I can only enjoy my life if my manifestations are here. If everything I desire is here, then I can enjoy my life. Why can't you enjoy your life in the here and now and let that be enough? When you let that be enough, that energetic frequency is communicating to the universe, like I feel, f in good, solid now, in the here and now, that's the energy that compounds, that's the energy that accrues, right, that's the energy that pulls in your manifestations. But a lot of us don't allow ourselves.

Speaker 2: 50:15

I would say that's the vibration Everybody's like I want some of whatever she's having. Yeah, because it happens, mm-hmm, it's happened to me. We'll use somebody else as an example where people will say why is it so easy for her? She doesn't do anything, she barely does anything. And I'm breaking my back over here I'm working so hard where I've been seeking whatever phone the blank and she just and things just happen for her all the time. I don't get it, and I was definitely culpable of saying that at a younger age. And it fascinates me now, at this stage where I'm like, oh, it's not by accident, folks, this is not luck, this is like this person being and their being and being very relaxed in their being and being, content in their being, and they are open. They are open to what can happen.

Speaker 1: 51:11

Yes, love that Been there. Understand that A lot of us have. And one thing that's really important is that when you see someone who has what it is that you desire, can you celebrate them, because if not, and if you're like F them, it's so easy for them. I feel resentful, I feel bitter, I feel not enough.

Speaker 1: 51:30

You are programming and telling your subconscious it's not safe for you to have that same desire, because you're going to feel that way when you receive a desire. You're going to feel bitter, resentful, not enough, right, and there's all these sneaky ways that we're telling our subconscious. It's not safe to have the thing that I want. I need to protect myself and keep myself exactly where I am. So the universe works in really funny ways. When you see, you'll notice like you're manifesting maybe a promotion at work, and you'll notice your coworker got it out of nowhere. That's the universe showing you that it's possible, that it can happen. And so you get to either be like oh my God, that's amazing, it's possible, it happened to them. Like that means it can happen for me, or it can be like F her so easy for her. I'm so resentful, I'm so bitter.

Speaker 2: 52:23

Or it happened for her and therefore it can't happen for me because it's a limit. Yeah, it can only happen for one, and she's the one that got it, or he's the one that got it, so it's not available to me. Yeah, that happens, but the universe is showing you it is possible.

Speaker 1: 52:37

It's happening literally right next to you, like your coworker in the seat next to you. That means that it's circling around you. It's so close to you, so you can have it too. Let's talk spirituality.

Speaker 2: 52:48

I subscribe and I'm very curious about your thoughts on this that we are spiritual beings. That's what we are, and that we happen to be on a human journey and, at the end of the day, the part of us, the part of me, the part of you that is eternal, that consciousness, if you will, that sort of always is felt the same. Maybe it aged at some point, but I always say I feel like a constant 27 year old. Maybe I got a little more grown up as I went, but I don't know what the aging process. My body might feel it, but my soul doesn't quite know what that means. I have not had with my actual biological age by far and there's this sense of timelessness right to my being.

Speaker 2: 53:30

Tell me about your spiritual journey, tell me about what spirituality means to you, for me, I will tell you I was race Catholic. I'm not practicing right now, although I believe in a lot of the tenets of faith, but I am a real, strong believer in the importance of being connected deeply with your spirit or your soul and that so much of the malcontent or discontentment of the world is because we're so disconnected from our being, from our spirituality, that we do not even know how to connect deeply into ourselves and we are operating from this headspace and what we see and what we understand through these eyes only yes, so I love that I was also race Catholic and I feel like, depending on your upbringing, it can feel very like there's only one way to be spiritual, and for me that was going to church on Sundays and worshiping God.

Speaker 1: 54:32

That's all I knew. And so once I started to uncover I think when I was nine I got into spell books and I was doing spells outside in nature and I was like this is really fun, but then shut that down because that's not spiritual. That's not what I was learned to be like, connected to source. Okay, and you'll notice on your path, there's so many things that came your way, that piqued your interest, that were like energetic breadcrumbs to connecting to your soul, to connecting to your purpose, that we just shut down and that we chose to not follow because we were taught there's only one way to be spiritual, depending on your family. For me it was Catholic, going to church, and so, as I was on my journey, oracle cards came my way, crystals came my way, yoga teacher training came my way, like more and more portals began to open up, leading me on the path back home to my soul, and then I finally just tuned into.

Speaker 1: 55:33

What was I so afraid of? What was I so scared of. What was I so afraid of? Following Right, because people pull in that term woo-woo. I do not subscribe to woo-woo, I do not believe in that. I think that that term, depending on how it's used, just continues to further like shut your soul down, dim your light.

Speaker 2: 55:54

It distance us from things that we don't understand. If we don't understand it, we sort of like call it woo-woo because it feels uncomfortable or mysterious.

Speaker 1: 56:04

Yes, exactly, or weird or whatever, I'm gonna be made fun of. So, like, let me just not do that. And so I finally tapped into. Just like you said, we're all innately spiritual. Yeah, because we all have souls, we all have a spirit. So you are spiritual and you chose this lifetime, you chose this human form, you chose this body, this environment that you are in right now, in the here and now, and so this is what I believe Every single thing that comes your way is just an opportunity to connect and come into alignment with your soul, with your purpose, with your mission, with your gifts, with your wisdom that only you possess right.

Speaker 1: 56:49

And so I love to talk about spiritual awakenings, and spiritual awakenings to me are just like a little knock-knock hello, let's do a check-in. Because spiritual awakenings are for you, your soul, to come back into alignment, to connect back home to you as we are living and leading this human life, getting stuck up in logic, like you said, stuck up in our minds, following what we think we should do with our lives, following what others are doing with their lives, living completely out of alignment or living life for others. And so spirituality isn't woo-woo, it's not one wire of the highway. It's whatever feels good for you and giving yourself permission to follow your spiritual curiosities, because those energetic breadcrumbs are going to lead you on the path back home to your soul and into alignment with your soul purpose. And that gets to be fun. It doesn't have to feel scary, heavy, hard. It gets to be fun.

Speaker 2: 57:53

You know it's interesting because I grew up with very young parents and one of the interesting things everybody's parents get it wrong on some level. But one thing my dad got right and I love him to pieces for it was you're forgetting who you really are. When I would feel lost, particularly in my 20s, which I think is usually a time of a lot of spiritual awakening, and the worlds don't really make sense because you're like but this is what I've been told and what I've been taught, and then this is what's actually coming up for me and they don't match. And he was saying he's forgotten who you really are. And I remember going. You know, do you spout, mum? And who I really am? What do you mean? And it was always about you know.

Speaker 2: 58:35

When we were little, we grew up in the woods. We grew up with a lot of trees around us. We used to sit next to the Rumblebank and talk to the trees and that felt very real, as little kids like we would talk to the trees. There are the forest people, as we would call them, and it didn't occur to us, you're in play mode, but we felt like they talked to us and it was not that they talked out loud, but that there was some sort of message that was coming up for us internally. As we played in the forest, as we fought off the imaginary, dragons and the trees were there to support us and to ward off the evil troll kingdom or whatever. We were making up that day. But we played in that space and the imaginary was very real for us and we just kind of went back and forth but you code switched and as soon as you walk through the door, at the end of the day of playing, you shut it down and it only became real again when you went back into the woods and we played those times Quite frankly, my kid grows growing up in Washington DC and suburbs and there isn't as much connection to nature like there was for us growing up, where you just spent the whole day outside, the whole day jumping over the river and climbing the riverbank and climbing trees and hiding in the woods because it felt and was safer back then.

Speaker 2: 59:53

Right, but it was such a natural thing to do. If you were a kid, at least nobody laughed at you that you were talking to the tree, because they were talking to the brook and they were talking to the rocks and we all did those things right.

Speaker 2: 1:00:06

But you shut it down around the adults. You'd go back home. There was time was called, you'd go and you're like you code switched. That's something we talk about only when we're out there, or you don't even talk about it. It's just loved it, yep exactly.

Speaker 1: 1:00:20

It's so true. I love that. We used to play in the woods too and it was awesome. And it's interesting how we shut it down to protect ourselves. We shut it down to keep ourselves safe, right, because we don't want to be made fun of, we don't want to be called weird, we don't want to be bullied, we don't want to be shamed and for most of us as kids, you don't really think like the word weird doesn't exist. Bullying doesn't exist until it does exist, until it does happen.

Speaker 1: 1:00:51

And the moment you're just like being yourself and just being your beautiful, authentic self and someone shuts you down, someone name calls you. We're like I can't do that. It's not safe. And for most of us, we've carried that from childhood into this adult life, still not allowing ourselves to tap into our spirituality and tap into the truth of who we are, because we're protecting ourselves, right, and it's like what if there was nothing to protect yourself from? What if you were the only one holding yourself back from exploring who you truly are and who your soul is? And the gifts, the wisdom, the magic that you came here to share and create with the world? Like what if you allowed them to come through?

Speaker 2: 1:01:36

Bring us home on alignment. What are things that people can do if they're feel disconnected in this world, If they're feeling out of alignment, which it's an easy thing to know. When you feel out of alignment because you feel that resistance, you feel that anger, do you not feel inner peace? So what are some things that you can share on the best ways to get back into alignment?

Speaker 1: 1:02:03

for people. Yep, so I'm going to keep it really simple, because simplicity is powerful. So, whenever you're feeling out of alignment, whenever you're feeling like it's not working, whenever you're seeking external validation from others and you're just not feeling solid and good and trustworthy in yourself, you're going to feel that energetically, emotionally, spiritually and physically, Just like you said. It's like ugh, that resistance, so you get to just come into for 30 seconds in your car, in your room, in the shower. Just be like what would make me feel good right now? What would make me feel good? Maybe it's just closing my eyes for 30 seconds and just breathing, placing my hands over my heart. Maybe I want to go buy myself a fun coffee at Starbucks because that brings me joy. I don't know why, but it does. Maybe I just want to quit, go, stand outside and feel the sun on my face, even if it's freezing, Like what would make me feel good right now? What would make me feel good? Let it be simple, let it be easy.

Speaker 1: 1:03:08

And if you're like I don't know, I don't know what makes me feel good, All right. What are you grateful for right now? Are you grateful for your family? Are you grateful for the ability to breathe right now, that you're alive, that you're safe. So it's like either what would make me feel good right now, what does make me feel good right now, or what am I grateful for right now. And I know that's so easy and that's so simple, but also it's really easy to get stuck in feeling out of alignment and living and operating that way. Just take a moment for you. Take a moment for yourself. You don't have to show up for anyone else. You're energetically not available for anyone else. Put yourself on mind, body, soul. Do not disturb. For 30 seconds, for 30 minutes, what would feel really good for you?

Speaker 2: 1:03:59

Right, I love. I think we over complicate these things, right, like we go on. It's somewhat innocent, like we just desperately want to go on the search for the deep meaning and the connection. And the reality is you don't need to go far, you need to go inward, yes, and so I love the simplicity of the advice. I really do, because I think going to what brings you joy is to me, one of the tenets of living an extraordinary life, because in your joy you find purpose, you find what is your soul calling.

Speaker 2: 1:04:34

And so often we've equated joy with like a pleasure, and pleasure is not something I mean. I go back to my New England roots, right, like we work hard, and pleasure is something that's enjoyed on Saturday nights. And let's confuse it. You're not supposed to enjoy work, work is supposed to be hard. And so I always say what brings you joy, find ways to do more of those things that bring you joy, because in that state of joy you connect purpose, you connect to the reason why you're here, and that's part of our work that we need to do. And then gratitude to me is just put the fine point on really being in that state of receptivity. When you're in state of gratitude. It's sort of as a magnifier. Yes.

Speaker 1: 1:05:23

Oh, I love everything that you just said. Yeah, and just a reminder letting feeling good to be enough period. It gets to be that simple.

Speaker 2: 1:05:34

Kelly. There's nothing more to add to that one. That's a beautiful way to end our conversation today. I just want to thank you again for coming on the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast. Thank you for sharing wisdom. Thank you for sharing your gifts. Tell people how they can find you.

Speaker 1: 1:05:50

Yes, thank you so much for having me. This was so fun. So you can come into my world on Instagram. That's where I mainly hang out at the underscore Badass Babe, my website thebadassbabecom or kellypendercom, and I have my own podcast called the Badass Babe Oracle.

Speaker 2: 1:06:08

It's a great show. That's how I found Kelly and I am so grateful for you coming on and playing with me today. I love the conversation, I love your flexibility and adaptability as we kind of explore these themes together for the audience, and I hope you come back again real soon.

Speaker 1: 1:06:27

Yes, Thank you so much. This was so much fun.

Speaker 2: 1:06:31

Wonderful. Until next time, live your Extraordinary Life. Thank you for listening to today's episode. If you enjoyed this podcast episode, please take a moment to rate and review. If you have recommendations for future topics, please reach out to me at michellereosofficialcom. Lastly, please consider supporting this podcast by sharing it. Together, we can reach, inspire and positively impact more people. Thank you.