This week on the Live Your Extraordinary Life Podcast, we welcome our good friend and coach, mentor and speaker, Neal Phalora, back to the show to discuss all things wealth and abundance. Neal is a luminary in the realm of human potential and neuroscience and together we explore true wealth - a concept that includes, but goes far beyond, the accumulation of money to include happiness, health, worthiness, confidence, love, spiritual nourishment, and positive relationships. We reveal the practices that take us beyond the autopilot of daily life and into the driver's seat of intentional living, where true wealth vibrates at a frequency all its own.
As we navigate our financial landscapes, Neil and I share our own transformations — from being penny-wise to recognizing money as a valuable ally. We dissect the inherited money stories that shape our financial worldviews and the illusion that an overflowing bank account signifies true wealth. Our exchange is a treasure trove of insights, from breaking past self-imposed barriers to understanding that financial freedom is more about mindset than the numbers in one's bank account. It's an invitation to rewrite your money story and step into a life of abundance.
In the realm of authenticity and personal transformation, we discuss the power and perils of adopting alter egos, the necessity of knowing your 'why,' and the journey from fear-driven success to prioritizing self-investment. I share my transition to a growth mindset and the pivotal realization that sometimes, to scale new heights, we must slow down and invest in ourselves. This episode is more than a conversation; it's a guide for those ready to shift their mindset and create a wealth of possibilities, in every sense of the word. Join us as we journey toward an extraordinary life, rich in depth, purpose, and prosperity.
Connect with Neal:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/nealphalora/
Website: https://www.thebrainwarrior.com/
Connect with Michelle Rios:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.rios.official/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/michelle.c.rios
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3ahwTlqiLU&list=PL-ltQ6Xzo-Ong4AXHstWTyHhvic536OuO
Website: https://michelleriosofficial.com
This week on the Live Your Extraordinary Life Podcast, we welcome our good friend and coach, mentor and speaker, Neal Phalora, back to the show to discuss all things wealth and abundance. Neal is a luminary in the realm of human potential and neuroscience and together we explore true wealth - a concept that includes, but goes far beyond, the accumulation of money to include happiness, health, worthiness, confidence, love, spiritual nourishment, and positive relationships. We reveal the practices that take us beyond the autopilot of daily life and into the driver's seat of intentional living, where true wealth vibrates at a frequency all its own.
As we navigate our financial landscapes, Neil and I share our own transformations — from being penny-wise to recognizing money as a valuable ally. We dissect the inherited money stories that shape our financial worldviews and the illusion that an overflowing bank account signifies true wealth. Our exchange is a treasure trove of insights, from breaking past self-imposed barriers to understanding that financial freedom is more about mindset than the numbers in one's bank account. It's an invitation to rewrite your money story and step into a life of abundance.
In the realm of authenticity and personal transformation, we discuss the power and perils of adopting alter egos, the necessity of knowing your 'why,' and the journey from fear-driven success to prioritizing self-investment. I share my transition to a growth mindset and the pivotal realization that sometimes, to scale new heights, we must slow down and invest in ourselves. This episode is more than a conversation; it's a guide for those ready to shift their mindset and create a wealth of possibilities, in every sense of the word. Join us as we journey toward an extraordinary life, rich in depth, purpose, and prosperity.
Connect with Neal:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/nealphalora/
Website: https://www.thebrainwarrior.com/
Connect with Michelle Rios:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.rios.official/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/michelle.c.rios
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3ahwTlqiLU&list=PL-ltQ6Xzo-Ong4AXHstWTyHhvic536OuO
Website: https://michelleriosofficial.com
I want freedom that money gives to seeking the iconic version of what money is. I'm like I don't care what it looks like on the surface anymore. I've done that, had nice things. I want the freedom that it gives.
Speaker 2:Hi, I'm Michelle Rios, host of the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast. This podcast is built on the premise that life is meant to be joyful, but far too often we settle for less. So if you've ever thought that something is missing from your life, that you were meant for more, or you simply want to experience more joy in the everyday, then this podcast is for you. Each week, I'll bring you captivating personal stories, transformative life lessons and juicy conversations on living life to the fullest, with the hope to inspire you to create a life you love on your terms, with authenticity, purpose and connection. Together, we'll explore what it means to live an extraordinary life, the things that hold us back and the steps we all can take to start living our best lives. So come along for the journey. It's never too late to get started and the world needs your light.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life. I am your host, michelle Rios, and I am thrilled to introduce you to my friend, neil Fallora. Neil has been on the show before. He was on back in 2023. He is a coach, he is a mentor to entrepreneurs, he's a speaker. He also happens to be an expert on all things human potential and neuroscience. So we're going to delve into a lot of that conversation today, and I am just thrilled that he was able to join me. So without further ado, neil, welcome to the show.
Speaker 1:I feel very welcome. Any time to hang out with you is a good time, my friend.
Speaker 2:Excellent. All right, neil, we're going to start where I start all my shows, and that is with what does it mean to you, neil Fallora, to live your extraordinary life?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so somebody recently in my world that isn't doing very well, and somebody said about that personally, said well, I don't know if he wants to die, but I'm not sure if he wants to live. And so for me it's like so much of us are just in that zombie state, that place where we just are barely existing. We don't want to die, but we're not sure if we want to live and living my best life is getting in that present moment, everything that I'm doing, the pain, the joy, the suffering, the boredom, all of those things, making sure I'm here and present with it, because if I don't, I just lose out on those moments.
Speaker 2:Oh, I hear you. I talk a lot about this idea of a lot of people are doing well, but they're kind of on autopilot. They're not intentional about what they're doing on a day-to-day basis. They've got a routine. It could be incredibly busy, but they're not thinking about where they're focusing their energy, they're just it's going in the direction of what do they say? The squeaky wheel gets the grease wherever the loudest call is coming from, and usually that's work, your job or what have you, and then your family, your kids, if you should be married and have some, and then there's nothing left over in the tank. So I hear you loud and clear, this idea of just being lit from the inside and alive and present in this moment. It's a privilege because a lot of people don't understand that that is where the extraordinary happens, not necessarily on a yacht in the Mediterranean. Not that will fault anybody for wanting that.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, no, one of my best memories ever was being a charting in the most in Greece and having to cook fresh seafood. But you're right, and recently, I think, people become their own prisoner in this process. They don't know how to let themselves out. I think that's one of the secrets of high achieving people. I think that most people don't know, right, or when you have any kind of thing, that you're just living in one modality for, whether it's even if you're immensely successful or immensely wealthy, you can be your own captor and you don't know how to unlock yourself and let yourself out of prison.
Speaker 2:Yeah for sure, All right. Speaking of which, why don't we delve in? I really want to get your perspective on a topic that's near and dear to both our hearts, and that is true wealth. Why don't you set this context for our listeners today and tell us what you believe true wealth is?
Speaker 1:Yeah, true wealth is this total, holistic wealth. Sometimes I would even refer it to as wealth consciousness. I like to think about it as a wealth matrix, because a matrix is a living entity. It comprises many points, all of which need to be connected and balanced to really be holistic. That is living happy, living in joy, living in the moments. It's good health, it's worthiness, it's confidence. It's free from the negative talk inside and all the torsion that we have externally as well. It's like how can we create a wealth consciousness that aligns us? A lot of people, when they are holding that ladder, they're down and stuck. They're down and feared, they're down and scared. For me, that highest vibration is more like you get a line, you get an action right. From that action you ground down into your intuition. From that intuition you rise up into your authenticity. That really is the frequency where you get to wealth.
Speaker 2:Well, you and I work with high achievers, whether they're leaders or entrepreneurs. We're not talking about the average person. We're talking about people who are already seekers of more. Our listeners are those people. They are high achievers. A lot of them have been incredibly successful in their careers. Some of them have made bank. They're doing very well. What I want to talk about is going deeper. If everybody's on this search, for I think the primary things are wealth, health and happiness this combination of the trifecta the things that matter most to people. When we talk about the financial piece of this, the actual money, consciousness of this, can we even detach it from the health and happiness equation, or are they all intermingled?
Speaker 1:I think they're all intermingled. The thing that I really love that I'm no longer afraid to say is I love the idea of money and revenue. I love it, I think it's fantastic, but you know what it really showed me? It showed me the relationship that I have with myself. People either love it or they poo poo it, or they say it's the root of evil. It's none of those things. Whether you have a lot of it or you have none of it, or you have it and you can't hold onto it, all of it is a reflection of the relationship that we have with ourselves and the value that, how we understand value, how we create value, how do we place value, how we see ourselves as valuable All of those are mirror images and that's why I say yes, they're absolutely connected and it's a great reflection.
Speaker 2:You know, it's interesting because, going into that conversation that you just opened the door to, which is our money beliefs. For me, growing up in a small town with very young parents they were teenagers when they got married they didn't have a lot of money, money was tight, and so I have had a lot of time of the course of my life to reflect on how my own money beliefs were first inherited and then later challenged and, I'm grateful to say, now completely evolved. But early on the conversation was just that money's the root of all evil. Money doesn't grow on trees.
Speaker 2:What do you think I made out of money? It was all scarcity mindset and almost like there was a virtue to having nothing, which, let me tell you, there's no virtue in having nothing. I think to your point, I've really come into this place where money is a resource, money is a means to an end. It really doesn't have its own independent energy. It has the energy we give it. Give me your thoughts on money beliefs, maybe your own family belief systems that you inherited and that so many of us, as we grow up, just inherit.
Speaker 1:This is why I love being on your show, because you asked like really, this is everything to me, and it's ironic that almost six or seven years ago I gave a money mindset talk about this thing in a high level, mastermind, and now you're talking about wealth all the time. It's full circle moment. But for me no joke, michelle, my dad might have had two doctor degrees, but he came from the base of him lands, literally from a dirt full of farm. True story I'm riding down on a motorcycle with my dad. We're doing like 35 miles per hour and my dad stops and pulls over and makes me run across a divided highway because he saw a quarter that he wants me to pick up. We picked through trash, right, because my dad, and so Richard Kiyosaki Bain he was poor dad and I have done so much better than my parents.
Speaker 1:But it has been a struggle to come out of certain things a mindset of money, and let me just ask the listeners why do? They? Did a survey of 12,000 millionaires, ceo, and 95% of them still felt unwealthy, uncertain about their financial future, right? 70% of people who live in a lottery go bankrupt. So we know that your money story comes from your family, your friends and your community and you can have an infinite. I know people. I live in that kind of neighborhood and there's still people who are worried I know them personally if there's going to be food on the table. When they grew up there was no food and they can't get out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, look, I'll be the first to say I quickly, upon leaving the house and graduating from college, started to earn a really healthy salary and my money mindset had not caught up to where my actual earning had been and I didn't allow myself a lot of what I considered luxuries, out of fear that I might run out. And it got to a point this is a bit of a money confession here that my husband and I were sitting down with a financial advisor. Now I'm going to be honest. My son was only about three or four at the time, so we're talking about 13, 14 years ago and he said, Michelle, I have never met somebody as successful as you who spends as little as you do.
Speaker 2:And I remember thinking, well, that's a good thing, I'm living below my means and that is such a comfortable space for someone like me to be. And he said no, you don't grow money that way. It's almost like you're hiding it under the mattress. You need to enjoy money, so go on the trip. I know you love to travel. When was the last time you did that? And, honestly, had been over a decade since we had really done anything interesting and exciting on the travel front and that sort of opened the door and gave me permission to recognize. Actually, the more I use it, the more it comes to me. The less afraid of money I am, the more money wants to be around me, the more I attract in. So how about you? What was your experience and where was your transition and pivotal moment?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so good, and I see this. Let's just call a spade a spade here. This might ruffle a few feathers, but just because you have a lot of money does not mean you're wealthy. I would venture to say that most people who have a lot of money aren't wealthy. In fact they aren't. I'll just be transparent as well. First time I stayed in a hotel was when I was 20 years old, because we went camping. We had a couch and a porch for patio furniture. We were four, but my dad just didn't believe in doing anything unless it was completely functional. You didn't buy it, you didn't use it, you didn't eat it unless it just served a function.
Speaker 2:He's very frugal. But just for our listeners, your dad's originally from India, correct? Yes, but you grew up in Indiana.
Speaker 1:Correct.
Speaker 2:Okay, so setting the stage for small town America.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my dad was a turbine. My dad wore a turbine in an Indian family in the Midwest, in the middle of the auto manufacturing town, where everybody earned almost two or three times we did. You know, working in a factory, right. So it was very confusing for me as a kid, my dad having two doctor's degrees, like what is going on. But yeah, for me we just didn't do so much that when I got out of college I just went and started doing everything. I got myself into some debt, I got racked up some credit cards and things my early 20s, right, and I was like, what am I doing? And so I re-foiled from that and after that I really got my money situation straight.
Speaker 1:But I'll tell you where was the big breakthrough for me? I changed a job for the status, I chased a job for the multi-six figures and I had a small sales team. I did all the things and my big money revolution was a lot of money. But I'm not happy. I finally got the thing that everybody the golden handcuffs, all the things, the European vacations on the back end of my grips and I'm just like it was a big realization. I'm like money is so much more than this. And I saw my friends who did things differently, but they were investing their money differently. Right, they were having a different money experience. I'm like I want freedom that money gives to seeking the iconic version of what money is. I'm like I don't care what it looks like on the surface anymore. I've done that, had nice things. I want the freedom that it gives.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you mentioned something you weren't happy. You experienced the golden handcuffs. How would you also probably argue you weren't at your healthiest either, were you?
Speaker 1:Oh, I mean, this is the other thing is that wealth is absolutely health as well. I had probably 70, 75 more pounds on me. I had probably safety plus symptoms. I was working with gut doctors and people in Brazil and I spent a couple of hundred thousand dollars on my health trying to figure out all these issues symptoms. I was miserable. I wasn't healthy at all. I'm the healthiest I've ever been in my life, now that I'm living a different version of wealth. So you're right, I was not healthy mentally or physically.
Speaker 2:All right. So let's break this down for our listeners who are interested in really breaking these limiting beliefs that we inherit around money. I'm sure there are going to be some folks out there that still have these beliefs and they're probably directing a lot of their steps unconsciously. But if we're honest, what are the questions individuals need to ask themselves and how can they begin to break free from these limiting beliefs?
Speaker 1:And when you say limiting beliefs, what do you mean? Limiting beliefs around what?
Speaker 2:Around money, so specifically the money scarcity mindset. Like money doesn't grow on trees, money's tight money is the root of all evil. All of these things that give us a negative connotation or a scarcity-based mindset around money.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's really really easy to say. It's not always easy to execute, but it's simple. What you need to do when you think about your own money is most people aren't clear on why they want the money or why they want the things. They're motivated for all the wrong reasons. So you start delving into your and start uncovering your actual why. What you'll understand is that most people's chase money is around things that other people told them. Their formal beliefs around money have nothing to do with them deeply, or why they want it right. They've not sketched it out. They're running after the iconic version of that, and that's always defeating. Because you know what, if you're trying to look like you have money and to keep up with other images of money in your mind, your brain will always give you the next thing. We all know this right. I know very wealthy people and it's never enough until you are. So I approach limiting beliefs a little differently in this area. My primary intent until you can feel like you're enough, your money conversation will never be.
Speaker 2:So what are some things individuals can be doing to maybe level set this idea of worthiness and being enough, in order to then have a healthier relationship with what we're calling wealth?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So people always confuse the fact that like, well, if I feel okay with where I'm at, then I won't be a hustler, I won't be able to grind, I won't want the next thing. I call BS on that completely. My version of that is that for me, my wealth consciousness I know what I have Like I live a really good life and I can be honest, I belly ache sometimes because I think I should have more or want more, be in a different place in the back. For me, it's really about if I can really understand and appreciate what I have now I can receive more.
Speaker 1:The second part of that is, I believe, is an identity shift. Most people's hands are full of the past and they want to receive something new. So they're saying up here internally, michelle, pointing to my head, that I want something more. But the history of what's happened which is below the neck of their body is just all about the past. And unless you can shift out of the things that have happened to you in the past which means releasing those things you're going to just keep recreating the same stuff over.
Speaker 2:Let's talk about that. So the disconnect between the mind and the body. Are we getting into this whole realm of neuroscience and somatic release? Tell me more, neil. Let's go there.
Speaker 1:So 80% of your mind is below your neck, right For most people who are walking around, you know this. All of us experience this. Go to your parents' house, go to your work environment, show up at a meeting, go to a party where you experience life is below the neck, and so the idea is that the memorization of the patterns of who you are is really rooted in your body. You can feel the tension. Another question if you smile for 20 seconds, you release formulas that make you feel better. You didn't do anything different, right? If you stand in a power pose, you feel better. Let me give you one better. If you hug somebody for three minutes, it can be as powerful as taking vitamin C or flutia. So we cannot deny that our body keeps score and that in the process of creating wealth and creating different lives, we're conscious about what the somatic and the body has stored. We're missing out. Our pure will will never overwrite the history. It's laying deep in your nervous system. We don't experience the world. We experience the current version of our nervous system.
Speaker 2:Ooh, that's deep. Okay, let's go through that again. We don't experience the world as it is. We experience the world as our nervous system is the state it's currently in Correct.
Speaker 1:Wow. That's why people say it's not my thing, but I call it. I say it a little bit different. Your nervous system will align to what's familiar, but not what's just the link. Your nervous system will align to what's a familiar hell, not the unfamiliar heaven. That's why when people get bypass surgery, 90% of them go back to eating their lifestyle. Not that they're bad people. They're trying to do it by just mental sheer, will and force. It doesn't work.
Speaker 2:Incredible. Okay, so what two or three things that people could be thinking about doing to improve their relationship with money? What are some simple things that you advise your clients? In terms of just level setting, we're talking 101 here 101 is very easy.
Speaker 1:It's a principle adigato. This is actually from Ken Honda's work money inflow, outflow. People are okay with getting money, but they're not okay with letting go. If you want money, that's just how people lose. 2 million in the next year, make three. We're all just like pissed off at them, like hell. Right. It's because when you spend money, it should be thank you and when money comes in, it should be thank you as well.
Speaker 1:I saw this in business development all the time. I'll give you a simple example. I have a great passion. I want to change the world. I have some great idea. I'm a business owner, founder, right, I go into it with heart, with my mind, and because I'm inflow, because of that authentic place where I can access wealth, things come easily. Personally, my best revenue month was in that space. But then, as soon as the money comes, you can see it, the butthole's hurting, the negative pressure floods in, right, you see it the way, all of a sudden, even if these small companies, everybody's trying to divide up the kingdom. What's my percentage? What am I going to get? And now we're playing to win? But how not to lose something that I think I have? And when you contract like that? What can you let flow into your life when you're in contract state? Nothing.
Speaker 2:Right Nothing. And money has to flow. Money has to flow in, money has to flow out.
Speaker 1:Yes, inflow and outflow, arigato. Thank you, thank you universe, thank you God. Whatever your language is, I don't give a damn to think. Be thankful when it comes in and when it flows out, because if you're unable to let go, there is no opportunity for something to come.
Speaker 2:Let's talk about authenticity and wealth. Authenticity is probably one of my favorite subjects and I know a lot of people aren't sitting around going I need to be more authentic, but we're going to break it down on why it is so important to know who you are and to know what you want in order to attract, build, cultivate, foster true wealth. Tell me about your perspective on the topic and that connection between authenticity and true wealth.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I would say it's the place in which it actually makes you wealthy right, having true authenticity. But let's define authenticity a little bit, because people get it twisted. Authenticity isn't your license to be an asshole, right? Oh, I can just go around and say whatever I want.
Speaker 2:I quote unquote be myself, whatever that means.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and people just roll it up, or it's the people pleasers, which I'm one of those. It's the people pleasers moment and I don't do this where they're going to say something that really isn't authentic. They're like well, I'm just going to be really authentic today. I didn't have $100,000 a month, I only made 75. I mean, that's not anything authentic either, but when you see that done right that people are calling that authenticity.
Speaker 2:And let's be honest, they do that because everyone desperately wants to belong and fit in.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I get it and it's okay. We're human beings. I've done some of all of those versions of that. I'm mad enough to be able to admit that in some variation. But authenticity is being able to get in touch with your desires and your intuition and being able to express those desires in some avatar. People think it's inauthentic if you become Sasha Fierce or Black Momma because I'm not being really me. No, authenticity is understanding the root of your desires and your talents and your intuition and expressing those in some avatar. Because we're not discovering ourselves, we're creating ourselves, and authenticity allows you, gives you the energy to create the next version of you. A lot of people are like, well, he's not being authentic or she's not being authentic because they're doing this or that. That's not really them. It's not about who you really are. It's about getting into the root of your desires and your intuition and using those to create the next thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for me I would even go a step further, beyond desire. It's really understanding who you are at a spiritual level as a starting point, really getting in touch with that, and then the expression of that can evolve over time. For sure, for those who may be a little unsure of what you mean by the expression of avatar, explain what you mean on getting in touch with that desire and that expression through an avatar.
Speaker 1:Michelle said it right it is getting in touch with who you are. Well, why I went away from that definition is so many people have so much trouble and what they're trying to do is they're trying to discover it, not create it. There are certain things that are uniquely us, but they're such a heavy mantle of. I've got to find my purpose and my ultimate. I've done a lot of different things, a lot of different kinds of careers, and those have all been expressions of my desires and my intuition. What I mean by the avatar is that we all need to create some all for ego that we want to step into. We need to be more being fake. It just means that we're using our authenticity to feed into some version of ourselves that we want to brew up. I always love using that example.
Speaker 1:Sasha fears Beyonce wasn't a performer, she wasn't. In Todd Herman's book Alter Ego you can read about he coached Kobe Bryant. They came up with Black Mamba, but it's a version of themselves that they are stepping into. And this gets into the quantum mechanics of abundance, because now you set a frequency. Fourth, that you are looking to align yourself with because, look, your past is also an avatar and that's what people keep going back to and they keep aligning themselves to that frequency and going. I don't know why the hell I can't produce different results. It's also an avatar and people say well, that's not really being you, it's just a verdict.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it really hits home for me because I often talk about it. Took me to about my mid to late twenties to kind of have that first awakening where I realized I was wearing all of these I'll call them masks because that's how I understood them and that I was underneath. The true me was so buried deep below all of these roles that I played as a daughter first daughter, oldest, sibling first to go to college. You can fill in the blank high achiever, all of these things, but that who I was as an individual I didn't really allow to come to the surface and I think this happens for a lot of us until I found myself in a really dark place where I had become so disconnected with who I really am at my essence, because those roles that I played took on a life of their own that was not connected to desire, that did not have a valid why. I didn't question them, I just did them and at some point it catches up with you. What is your experience been around that?
Speaker 1:A hundred percent. I mean we get this term that might be used in some circles. We get this cognitive dissonance where we're like we feel one way internally but we're trying to be something else on the surface. Then we lose our identity in that. But it kind of goes back to Napoleon Hill's book I think it's called Conversations with the Devil and the construct that I love out of that is constantly asking ourselves what are we doing and why are we doing it? Because what happens to people in the pursuit of wealth is that they get lost in the drift. They don't know what they're doing, why they're doing it. They are on autopilot.
Speaker 1:I recently had a friend who was asking me through a hundred million dollar business and I was consulting with him, helping him, asked him a question. I was like you have a fifteen million dollar business and a sixty million. I've been a small part of those as well when he was doing them. What is this going to give you? What are you seeking? What experience are you trying to create by buying this business? I said I'm not telling you not to buy the business. What I'm telling you is that you need to know your why so clearly? Because you're out of place now with a fifteen million dollar business and a sixteen million dollar business At the new hundred million dollar business. If you're not clear, it's also not going to be enough. We do everything for the experience.
Speaker 1:I know that one of the big gaps in what people are doing is that we are experiential human beings. There is no thinking without feeling. Feeling is four times more powerful. We buy on feeling and justify the logic. That's okay. If you want something, go for it, but be clear and be constantly clarifying along the way, doing the work, why you're doing what you're doing. Don't let it fool you back. You might discover along the way that your why is not powerful enough and you may need to abandon it. Still, go for it. Make quick decisions, make messy actions, make a person who is clarifying and asking those questions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, being able to let go when you realize if it's not a good fit to be able to let go. So many of us get married to the well. I'm so invested in this now because I pursued or I've spent a certain amount of time doing this. At the end of the day, it's sort of like being in a marriage, this empty and hollow. If there's nothing coming of it and you can't resuscitate it, why are you in it still? And I think that this often happens with careers, this happens with academic pursuits, that we feel that there has been a certain amount of time or money invested and so, even if it's not bringing us to where we want to be, we're so reluctant to let it go. It goes back to your point of the familiar outweighs the unfamiliar when making decisions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, If people confuse those, they're the same thing. Even Tom Millieu, I sat in the cap to kneecap. He told me $400 million did not solve any of his problems and did not do anything for him. And he said you have to live from so some it and life is a game of neuroscience and people don't know the work and they explode. Yeah, that was his exact answer.
Speaker 2:So, neil, let's talk about upleveling, because a lot of people are doing really well, but they want to get to the next level, and I specifically want to get into the whole realm of energy, and I recall something that you wrote not too long ago that said people don't buy what you know. They buy who you are, and specifically your energy and your vibration. Can you explain what you mean by that?
Speaker 1:Absolutely so. We've all had that experience where you connect with somebody at a party or you're at some business event and the person is so dynamic, you don't even care what they do, you just want to be a part of their world. Where you're sitting and you're seeing somebody at a party and there's just something about somebody's energy across from you like I need to know that person. So that is the upleveling that we're talking about. That's where you go from a business owner to somebody who can take themselves out of the business because you're attracting what you want in your business in terms of clients and results. That's the level You're attracting the kind of people that work with you. Those things are flowing. That is attracting who you are.
Speaker 2:I love that. Okay, so when a lot of people, a lot of us I'll include myself into this equation worked really hard, hustle and grinded our way to a certain level. But at some point it's really hard to continue to just hustle and grind your way to more, financially and otherwise, because either there's only so many hours in the day or you start to burn out. Things start to come apart at the seams. Let's talk about the most effective way to level up.
Speaker 1:So let's first take people on the lineage, because what happens is think about a small business. I solve this all the time. They would scale to a certain point and they would get there and their revenue was much better, but their operations were still a small business operation. So, yes, they're doing okay. Yes, they're making revenue. Yes, hey, they're living better lives on the surface, but internally it's a shit show because they've got all these old processes, all of the old mindset, small company mindset. They're doing things taped together and hacked together and that is very much how people level themselves.
Speaker 1:We grind and we push and let's just be honest with you, when we get to that place, we don't want to do more work. We're like I'd bust in my butt to get here. I'm not going to sit down and do a whole bunch of work. I just want to sit back and go and get my shrimp cocktail and drink my martini at the bar. I like hang out and get my $65 door dash meal and pay $18 which I did one time just to get someone to bring me a cheesecake. Right, I've embarrassed to say that, which is stupid, and because I deserve it. It's the same thing that parents go in. Just listen to me, you need to do what I say because I've paid the price, but you're not doing the work so that you can be sustainable at that level, and that requires a different level of work. Sustainability is different than who got you there. The person who got you there is the hustle and the grind. That is not the person who can live there as a sustainable person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would even go so far to say that my early success was derived out of fear. I was able to push myself to new heights out of fear, a failure, fear of letting people down, fear of not becoming who I was always meant to be. Then there needed to be a fundamental shift for me to go any further. That got me to a certain level, but then I was stuck and everything I had done before was no longer working. A few days later I figured it out. It was many years later, after being stuck for a period of time, that I realized it required a whole new Michelle to show up on the scene, and it was actually counterintuitive.
Speaker 2:Instead of the hustle and grind, instead of investing in the business more than I already had, I started investing more in myself. I started investing more in my mindset. I started investing more in my personal development. I would get these comments like I don't understand how you're doing so well and you're not working harder than I am, or you're even not working as hard as I am and you're cool as a cucumber. What's going on? It's not fair. That would come from colleagues and I'd be like I'm sorry. I figured it out, I'm leaning into joy. I am taking better care of myself because I'm the asset. Once I figured that out that I was no longer literally driving myself into the ground to get what I needed out of myself, that I was investing in order to elevate myself, it was a complete meteoric rise. It was a quantum shift for me, almost in no time.
Speaker 1:Let's think about that even for a second. If everybody around you is hustling, if everybody around you is struggling, even if all those people are doing well, they're really pushing hard do you feel like that you can separate yourself from the herd and do something different? Most of us don't, and we're the frequency that we feel frequently and that gets entrained in us in our nervous system and that gets entrained in us on a spiritual level. Then we feel unable to effectuate, to get ourselves off the rails and keep running that train at that speed. It becomes virtually impossible. That's what institutionalization is. We become institutionalized because we can't separate from it. If everybody around you is struggling, what's the first thing that happens when you start living a better life and your friends aren't? They like torches for you, man, they're coming for you.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, they don't think you're working hard enough. You're taking it easy. You're not in the trenches. Somehow you're not delivering, even if your numbers show otherwise.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when I was in the corporate environment even at the executive level, it's like, oh, it must be nice to take a vacation day you were persecuted for resting or whatever else Having them for a minute. You were ever caught meditating or putting your head down for a few minutes or something like that. You were recouped. That was like a carnival sin. We have to understand where this dog might come from and how enshrined it is in us. You sucked about people by who you are. If you can't separate yourself from the frequency that you sell frequently, you can never change that frequency right. And so the slowdown at some point in success, the slowdown is the catch-up. You have to start slowing it because you can never get downloads and intuition and awareness and authenticity and breakneck speeds, because cortisol in fight-or-flight doesn't lend ourselves to new information and new ways of being. It's just like even at the multi-billion-dollar level it can still be. How could I survive?
Speaker 2:So I heard this story. It's actually a Simon Sinek story, so bear with me if you already know it. I just want to share it with everyone because it's a great analogy. He talks about two lumberjacks go into the woods and they both go at the same time and spend equal amounts of time chopping wood and, except for, one, of the lumberjacks, leaves the woods every day for one hour, disappears, but he's actually cutting more wood than the other one. So, finally, the first lumberjack is I just need to have to know where do you go when you disappear every day? And how is it that you're chopping more wood even though you're working less than I am? And he says oh, I go home and I sharpen my axe.
Speaker 1:I love that, and what's your take on that, michelle?
Speaker 2:For me, as somebody who's always been in professional services, you need to rest, you need to sharpen your tool and if you are your tool which I would argue most of us in personal development or professional services we are our tool. We need to take care of ourselves, we need to invest in ourselves, whatever that looks like for you. If that's, go work out, go for a walk, take a break, change the rhythm. This constant push, push, push, grind, grind, grind. There's this season for it, don't get me wrong, but it's not sustainable on an ongoing basis.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I'll tell you what it's not. It's what I did this morning. The kids were at home and my wife and I were like let's go grab some breakfast. And we went to a couple different places to get the things we want. And what did Neil do? Work on his phone.
Speaker 1:Why was it the problem? Like I'll get some stuff done and then about halfway through it I was like this is not enjoyable. I'm like I haven't been present with any of this right, but it's that sharpening of the axe. It's like being able to step away. But here's the other thing that I think that people in wealth don't understand. We need the construction. We are frequency. There is no endless hustle. Yes, we can all agree to it mentally, but emotionally we can't let go of the fact that we just need to grind, grind, grind. But I'll tell you, if you can contract as voraciously as you expand and you can be so purposeful in your contraction, just like the Lumberjack, your next expansion can be way more than anybody who's constantly hustling, because when you come to rest, you come to center. So it's not how fast can I react, it's how quickly I can come to center.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that the key to that, though, is you have to believe it fervently, because you can go through the process of saying I'm going to take the time to rest, but if you do not believe that that actually is what's going to be the secret sauce for you, if you feel guilt about it, if you feel nervous, it's not going to work.
Speaker 1:I hope everybody heard what Michelle said there. So I'll just say this the belief is the placebo. In drug trials, a third of people get better on the placebo, sometimes more, sometimes it's half. It's the belief. That's the placebo, and if you don't have that, you're right. No amount of matter of resting whatever else or doing whatever you think. We're so concerned with that in this society where everything is data and ones and zeros they're like. Is it proven? Is there a study? Is there a video on that? I'll just tell you, mostly it doesn't matter, but it does matter, like you said, michelle, if you believe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, anecdotally, it's a night and day experience for me to be able to say look, I grew up in New England and it's probably not unlike your small Midwestern town where modesty is considered a virtue, and it's almost like the. I didn't take any time off, I worked so hard and I barely slept last night, like somehow that's going to be perceived as harder working and therefore more virtuous and therefore you belong more, you'll be more lovable, fill in the blank, whatever that is that we're all reaching for when we throw out those things. Like I didn't sleep all night. I was up all night working on that project and I know we're all guilty of that.
Speaker 2:But at the same time, I've just gotten to this point where I genuinely will say things like I am taking a break, I'm going to go focus on whatever it is I need to focus on and I'm going to let all the other things sit on the back burner so that I can be my best in this scenario. And I know that's what I need to do and I'm unabashed about it. And it's really interesting. Some of the people that will say aren't you worried that you're not getting enough done on this and that I'm like no, because time is a construct that is manmade and all in good time, and I'm going through this experience, as you're going through your experience, and I'm choosing each day to remind myself that this is intended to be a joyous experience. We can say it's a benevolent universe or a hostile universe, but the choice is ours right to decide.
Speaker 1:Right, and I love that you say that. I mean, that is one of the principles of NLP and good neuroscience. Right Is to if you're going to do something, let's just think about it. When an athlete gets on the starting line, they don't go in up there and get on the blocks. If they're running a race, they go. Okay, guess I got to race this race today. I don't know, not really feeling it right.
Speaker 1:There's a reason that all really serious athletes have a mental performance coach, because that is easily half to three-fourths of the battle.
Speaker 1:So if you're going to take a break, you putting yourself somatically, your body, in the state of relaxation, you saying it out loud and then you feeling the feelings of what it is to relax is the mental and emotional sparsing muscle that you need. Even the somatics is called pendiculation. People do stronger release therapy by putting themselves into a contractive state and then opening their body up and they pendiculate like a pendulum between those two states and they teach their body Just like if you grip your hands, like you're listening to me. If you just grip your hands really, really tight and then release, and grip your hands really tight and release, your body will start to learn the difference and practice those states, and that's what we need to do when we take a break. That's why rituals are so important in our society Historically. We need to enrich people in Asian societies, when the meditation was sounded, bringing it back out because you need to chew the second half of your mice that are going to go. Oh yeah, dude, it's time to break.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we have evidence that this works in multitudes of places. But I always love to say let's look at some of the most visionary people of the modern era, like Steve Jobs, who unfortunately is no longer with us. He became very ritualized about his reading, his meditation, the amount of time he spent really reflecting versus just doing and, by the way, he had a performance coach.
Speaker 1:Yes, we're filling our own cup here a little bit, but you know what I counted the other day? I think I've had easily 20 plus coaches. I have three right now. One of my friends said that's paying the dummy tax. Right, because if I spend my life focusing on perceptions it's faulty. But I'm paying for perspective, because people just talk me out of oh, I can't get to this level of my business. I get somebody who's done it, who can talk me and walk me through it. It shortcuts that process Not just weeks but my years.
Speaker 2:Right and challenging you when you present an idea or notion that's somehow stopping you from progressing, because normally it's not external forces that impede our path, it's our own mental blocks, our own mental barriers.
Speaker 1:That's really all there is, and it's the same thing as trip for wealth as well. Right, Regardless of money to be wealthy, you can be wealthy with barely enough covering your bills. And I'm not suggesting by anyone is that I consider level of wealth like just covering your bills. But I'm saying, even if you won't listen to this episode and you're in transition and you're somebody who had a lot of money but you're a strap right now, you still got to be that wealthy person because that's the avatar that's going to create that next level. But if you have those limiting beliefs, guess what you're going to attract. I've done it. My biggest revenue months where I was living the bandwidth of all my values in every area of my life Physical, my mental, how I was being a parent I was unstoppable. I don't mean even to flex here, but it was. It felt like this is just too easy. And then the next month, when the frequency goes down, it's like man, this is so hard, why is this such a grind? It's annoying to say it's that simple, but it is.
Speaker 2:It's simple, but it's not easy. I mean, that's the bottom line, right, and we know that Right All. Right now let's land the plane. What are two or three practices that you participated in on a daily or regular basis that you recommend to others, to our listeners here right now, to create the right ecosystem for wealth generation?
Speaker 1:Yes. So one is simple, but most people aren't doing it correctly. It's gratitude. I'll tell you. What the difference maker in the gratitude is is that it needs to be a mental, visual, emotional thing. It can't be just like I'm thankful for my car and my kids. It is projecting it into your mind's eye and it's feeling the receptive nature of gratitude. So sometimes I see every amazing person that's ever come into my life and I just have them give me a hug and I give them a hug back and I work through that.
Speaker 1:What you're doing for all of you guys who are still thinking this is poo poo is you're increasing your heart magnetic signature. We can show this. You're increasing your HRV. Your heart is beating in multiple periods and that's the magnetic center of your body. You're changing what you attract. So we know this now. We knew this 5,000, 6,000 years ago. In the end, the Chinese culture's already knew this, but somehow we people need to tell you this stuff or everything, but it's true.
Speaker 1:The second thing that I would say in the wealth equation is this is one thing I've been doing lately Put yourself in the place to experience yourself as wealthy. Put yourself in that frame. I recently went shop for a car. Could I buy it right now? Yes, is it a smart decision for me right now to put that much money into it? No, I regularly do things where I go out. Sometimes I've gone out and went to an open house with a multi-multi-million dollar hold. Right, I don't even know if I want that shell.
Speaker 1:To be honest and fine, I want to be in the venue giving myself experience. So many people are going. You know what. When I finally make it, I'll go look at it. I'm saying no, if you want a four-carat dive in your ring, go to your drawer and ask them to bring out the four-carat ring and try it on. Have the experience ahead of it give you and record that in your mind and then keep revisiting. Be greedy in what you want in that sense, not greedy like you're being an asshole. Be greedy and be okay.
Speaker 2:Well, and I think it's about understanding that you're already worthy for whatever it is that you desire. There doesn't need to be something more that you do in order for you to earn worthiness. It might not be the right timing for whatever that is in your life, but the worthiness is inherent and I think that that's something we need to get really comfortable with. I have really come to the other side of saying I am worthy of all the things, because I spent so much time in my younger years feeling like I was never enough and it was never going to reach a place where I felt like I was enough. And I'm trying to think of when the actual light bulb went off for me of realizing what it's inherent.
Speaker 2:It probably took the 10th reading of Wayne Dyer's literature around. Your worth is inherent in your being, not in your doing, and I remember the first time I read that I was like well, that's nice. And then it took several other readings before it really clicked for me of like, oh wait, that's the starting point. It has to be the starting point, not the place you get to eventually after you do a certain amount of things to earn your worth. Your worth is there because the fact that you exist, you're worthy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we couldn't have planned this better. But my third point, which dovetails beautifully to what you just said as I say this myself all the time and I teach my clients this I have enough and I can create. I have enough and I create more, and I just ground down into the frequency of being abundant now and creating more abundance later. So I don't even like the idea of more. It's just I have enough and I can create more. Right? It's like why not have it abundant in both areas of your life? Because if you're poor right now, in your head it's all that's going to happen in the future.
Speaker 2:Yeah, neil, thank you so much for coming on the show. I always love our conversations. They're always insightful, they're always engaging. It's so much fun for me and I know our audience really appreciates your insight. Thank you, love. All right, until next time, everyone, go and live your extraordinary life. Thank you for listening to today's episode. If you enjoyed this podcast episode, please take a moment to rate and review. If you have recommendations for future topics, please reach out to me at michellereosofficialcom. Lastly, please consider supporting this podcast by sharing it. Together, we can reach, inspire and positively impact more people. Thank you.