Live Your Extraordinary Life With Michelle Rios
For anyone ready to expand into their fullest, boldest, most authentic life. A show about aligned success, soulful growth, and stepping into the life you were meant to live.
Maybe you’ve spent years on the sidelines playing small.
Maybe you’ve done everything you were “supposed” to do — the career, the family, the stability — and achieved more than most, yet deep down, something still feels off.
Maybe you climbed to the top of the ladder only to realize it was leaning against the wrong wall.
Maybe you've built a life through grit, ambition, and sheer willpower… but you're quietly wondering, “Is this it? Is it too late to want something more aligned — more authentic?”
Here’s the truth:
It’s not too late.
You're not behind.
And you’re not done — not by a long shot.
Hosted by transformational coach, motivational speaker, author, and former executive leader Michelle Rios, who spent 25+ years advising CEOs, shaping global brands, and rising to the highest levels of leadership before reinventing her own life, The Live Your Extraordinary Life Podcast is your catalyst for reimagining what’s possible — and pursuing big, aligned goals with clarity, courage, and purpose.
Here, “living your extraordinary life” means creating success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
It’s about authenticity — choosing goals and dreams that align with who you truly are and what you deeply want.
It’s about shifting your energetic frequency so the life you’re building feels meaningful, expansive, and magnetic.
It’s about ambition with intention, success with soul, and growth that feels good — because when your energy is aligned, you attract more of who you truly are.
Each episode blends personal stories with neuroscience-backed insight, spiritual wisdom, and practical tools to help you:
· break free from the patterns and identities that keep you small
· trust yourself again — and move from clarity, not fear
· release the guilt or shame of “starting over” at any age
· reconnect with your purpose, intuition, and your highest potential
· build confidence from the inside out
· rewrite the stories that are holding you back
· shift your energy into alignment so your life begins to rise up and meet you
· and take courageous, intentional steps toward the life you actually want
Through reflective solo episodes and candid conversations with experts, thought leaders, healers, and everyday people who rebuilt and elevated their lives at every age and stage, this show helps you move from contemplation to courageous, aligned action.
Whether you’re a high achiever craving deeper meaning or someone who’s held yourself back for years, this is your invitation to rise — not by hustling harder, but by stepping into your most authentic self.
Your past is not a life sentence.
Your age is not a deadline.
And your extraordinary life is not a someday dream — it begins right now.
Pick yourself up.
Dust yourself off.
And let’s get moving.
Michelle will walk with you every step of the way
ABOUT THE HOST:
Michelle Rios is a transformational coach, motivational speaker, author, and former corporate executive who spent 25+ years advising CEOs and shaping global brands. She blends intuitive insight, neuroscience-backed principles, and energetic alignment to help high achievers create lives that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside.
Live Your Extraordinary Life With Michelle Rios
Unleash Your Inner Charisma with Brett McDermott
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WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:
- New Course Alert - Extraordinary Wealth: Mastering the Art of Selling With Soul: https://michellerios.mykajabi.com/Extraordinary-Wealth-Selling-With-Soul
- Book: https://michelleriosofficial.com/book. (Coming in early 2026. Join the Waitlist)
- The Energetic Blueprint for Financial Freedom (Free Audio): https://michellerios.mykajabi.com/extraordinary-wealth-the-energetic-blueprint
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- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michelle.c.rios
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- Website: https://michelleriosofficial.com
Living an Extraordinary Life With Charisma
Speaker 1You cannot show up with charisma , with magnetism , to a moment that you're not even present to . We're never going to be our most nimble within a conversation if we're not totally present to the person in front of us who's speaking to us . So we need to always .
Speaker 2Hi , I'm Michelle Rios , host of the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast . This podcast is built on the premise that life is meant to be joyful , but far too often we settle for less . So if you've ever thought that something is missing from your life , that you were meant for more , or you simply want to experience more joy in the everyday , then this podcast is for you . Each week , I'll bring you captivating personal stories , transformative life lessons and juicy conversations on living life to the fullest , with the hope to inspire you to create a life you love on your terms , with authenticity , purpose and connection . Together , we'll explore what it means to live an extraordinary life , the things that hold us back and the steps we all can take to start living our best lives . So come along for the journey . It's never too late to get started , and the world needs your light .
Speaker 3Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast . I'm your host , michelle Rios , and today I am thrilled to have with me a dear friend , brett McDermott . Brett , who happens to be the host of the Persistence Playbook podcast , himself is also known as the Charisma Hacker , so we're going to talk all things charisma today , which I'm so excited about because I think it's important , but I also love the interplay with authenticity . So Brett is also a communications expert . He teaches individuals how to bring their innate charisma to the surface , and his journey began with a passion for helping people to express themselves more confidently . So , without further ado , brett , welcome to the show .
Speaker 1All right , Michelle , I'm excited to be here . I appreciate the kind words . That was a hell of an intro . I'm pumped up . Let's go so excited All right .
Speaker 3So first of all , I just have to start with the question I ask all of my guests , which is Brett McDermott what does it mean to you to live your extraordinary life ?
Speaker 1It's a great question , right , and I think it probably gets a variety of answers from a variety of people . So if I were to answer that question as authentically as I , can , you know , what does it mean to live my extraordinary life ? I would have to say it means to go for that dream in your heart and , whatever that is , to really go after it . And I think most of us know what that dream is , even if we've buried it for years and years and avoided it because we're scared of failing Finding the courage today to put aside 20 minutes and start taking some micro steps towards that dream , because we don't want to be 90 years old and , god willing , we get that far , looking back on our life and thinking what if , what if I went for it ? To me , that is what it's all about .
Speaker 3I love that answer . Yeah , I mean . Regret is a terrible thing to have to end your life with , for sure , and I really do think . The more I've had time to marinate on this topic , one of the things that really comes to light for me is the fact that our dreams are more than likely the DNA coding of what we came here to do , right , as spiritual beings having a human experience , and yet we think somehow , on some level , it's selfish to pursue those . We should be practical , pragmatic , do the more responsible thing . Why follow our dreams when we might fail ?
Speaker 3And yet I actually think a lot of us who allow ourselves that space whenever that happens in your lifetime , realize oh my gosh , I've been putting off the thing that I was meant to do in this lifetime and that when you step into it , the path appears and doesn't mean it's going to be an easy path , but you really start to feel like , oh yeah , this is my calling , this is what I was meant to do , and you start to see it in little ways Like you'll get a text . Wow , what you said really impacted me , really had me think , or you have no idea that that really encouraged me , or whatever . The thing is Right . But I really do believe that those dreams that a lot of us kind of packed down and buried are really what we're here to do in this lifetime . So I love that answer and it resonates so deeply with me .
Speaker 1Yeah , I appreciate that and you know , I think you're a great case of that right . You had an incredibly successful career . You didn't have to go on this new voyage of thought leadership and coaching and podcasting , but you had a dream in your heart and you said you know what , I'm going after it and maybe I'll make it and maybe I won't , but the important thing is is I'm going to do my best and you are making it happen . God bless you , but you're going after it . And I think it just goes to show that , even if we're having really a lot of success in one area of our lives , it doesn't mean we can't try something else .
Speaker 1We don't have to give up that first part of our lives . Let's just take some micro steps in that other direction and let's see how it feels .
Speaker 3A hundred percent . A hundred percent . All right , my friend , let's delve into this whole charisma hacking . The title charisma hacker is such a captivating one . Can you share with me the story behind it and what inspired you to focus on helping others tap into their charisma ?
Speaker 1For sure , and I know a lot of people kind of gravitate towards that name and I don't know if I have a great story behind the name , other than I just thought it was kind of catchy really . But truthfully , I think that when you're hacking into anything , it means that you are building a skill set within that realm . And I do think that charisma is a set of skills . It's not one skill , it's a variety of skills , and if you kind of concentrate on building all of these little skills one by one , eventually you can be what people know as a charismatic person . And I would say that my journey that led me towards teaching charisma really kind of dates back all the way to the book that's kind of over my left shoulder , which you may or not be able to see , and it's how to win friends and influence people . And I would say if there was a book in my life that had the biggest impact on me , it was certainly that
Unleashing the Power of Charisma
Speaker 1one .
Speaker 3Just for our listeners , real quick . So that's a Dale Carnegie book . It's a classic . If you haven't read it , do yourself a favor , go on Amazon and pick up a copy .
Speaker 1How to Win Friends and Influence how to win and influence people , and influence people , dale Carnegie .
Speaker 3So , and this goes back to , I want to say , the 1930s , right ? It's a classic , it's been around for a really long time .
Speaker 1Came out around the same time as like Think and Grow Rich . I feel like those are the two OG personal development books that you hear of over and over again , and there's a reason that they've both been in publication for almost 100 years no-transcript .
Speaker 3It's really important to kind of break through . What does it mean to be charismatic ? What is charisma and why do we need it ?
Speaker 1For sure . Yeah , and charisma , I think , when you boil it down , is the ability to impact the people around you , hopefully in a positive way . It's the ability to lead people . It's people wanting to be led by you . It's the ability to connect . It's people wanting to be around you . And I think , if we were to break it down into three pillars , I think this is a really valuable way to look at charisma . Break it down into three pillars , I think this is a really valuable way to look at charisma .
Speaker 1You need to show power . People need to think that you have the power to move mountains , that you could be an asset to them if needed . You need to show warmth . Warmth is pillar number two . People not only need to know that you have power , but that you want to use that power for good , that you genuinely want to help people . And then the third pillar of charisma is presence . You not only need to be powerful , you not only need to be warm , but you need to be present to the current moment . People need to feel that you're actually there with them on a second to second basis , that you're not lost in your thoughts or thinking about what you're going to do next Tuesday . So I would say those are kind of your three main pillars . Within those pillars there are micro skills that you need to hit on , but I'd say power , presence , warmth , that is your charisma formula .
Speaker 3All right , I'm going to throw you a curveball that I know you can handle , but I think it's important for us to just kind of go through this .
Speaker 3There are a lot of very charismatic people that aren't necessarily good guys out there . So one of the things I think you got to think about and I'm saying this as an open conversation is how do we ensure that charisma really is used for good , Because we even think about it from I'm not super religious , but even biblical references saying if Satan is one of the most charismatic fellas you're ever going to come across and it comes in disguises , right that you get pulled and led astray . I've met many , many charismatic businessmen that actually had ulterior motives that weren't really genuine or sincere , because they wanted to win the deal or what have you . So how do we ensure that charisma and the way we think about it , with leaders that we think about with integrity , like maybe Barack Obama or politics aside , but folks that we think of as being integrity-led individuals that have had it ? How do we ensure that charisma is used for good ? Because I do think it's a seductive skill that could be used either way , right ?
Speaker 1I think it is , and I think that's certainly an interesting question , probably one I haven't answered too many times , but I certainly appreciate the authentic question here , michelle , and I think if I were just to be totally honest with you it's going to be tough for us to make sure that people are always using this skill for good purposes .
Speaker 1I think human beings , for the most part , are good , but we've all got a little bit of evil on us , and some of us have more evil than others that are going to try and do things in a backhanded way , that are not trying to help the people in front of them .
Speaker 1So I do think , though , that when you're with someone over a period of time and I think people can fake it for short spurts of time , especially the warmth one People can fake that warmth for small periods of time and make you think that they've got your best interests in mind , when maybe they really don't at all . But I do think , over the long term , if you're spending days with this person and long periods of time with this person , that you're only going to be able to fake that warmth part of the equation for so long before people are going to start to pick up on your real intentions . So I do think eventually the cream rises to the top and we are able to perceive who's trying to help us and who's actually trying to hurt us . I think when you're meeting a salesperson for the first time in a car dealership , it's going to be tough to tell .
Speaker 1I don't think we're going to be able to tell , especially if that guy's really got his game going and he's got great eye contact and great verbal pauses , he's got a genuine smile . If he doesn't have your best interest in mind , sometimes we're going to wind up paying a little bit more for that car than we really should . But I do think Fair enough . But I do think over the long haul All of us are going to be much better suited actually with people's real best interests in mind , because eventually they're going to be able to pick up on it if we don't .
Speaker 3Yeah , I think there is something that's very felt when you're around people with genuine charisma . You feel that warmth and that presence . And , as somebody who teaches sales , one of the things I talk about is you go into sales if you're a genuine person who wants to do good in the world , with the idea of serving . So when you're coming at it from a service perspective and you're dialing into your natural charisma because I do think people don't often realize , even if they aren't the most naturally overt extroverted individual , there's charisma in there that needs to be drawn out . So let's talk a little bit about this , because I do want to get around this idea of is charisma innate ? Is it something we need to learn , or is it something that we can learn and is it something that we can improve ? It's certainly something that we can learn , and is it ?
Speaker 1something that we can improve . It's certainly something that we can learn and definitely something that we can improve . I agree with what you said . I think everyone's kind of got their own brand of charisma . It doesn't mean you have to be the Rock or Oprah Winfrey or Jimmy Fallon . Your charisma could be that you're a really incredible listener and that you're a great question asker and you're just incredibly present in the situation . It doesn't mean you have to tell stories like Robin Williams . Everyone's got their own little version of charisma and I do think it's innate and we've got to find that natural charisma inside of us and eventually , if we can hit on all these little micro skills , it'll come to the surface . So I do know that it is teachable .
Speaker 1If you look at some great speakers in the past , they weren't always the picture of charisma . Look at Steve Jobs , for instance . If you study some of his early keynote speeches like way back in the day when he first got on stage and started speaking about Apple products he is not charismatic , he is awkward , he does not command the room . He really is just not anything that you would picture as charisma . But , of course , fast forward and he dazzled audiences . He was one of the most charismatic keynote speakers of all time . That's because he worked on all these little micro skills from beginning to end and he made himself into a charismatic personality . So , for sure , there's plenty of examples out there where people have built up their charisma muscles and it's because they've kind of just broken it down and they've worked his philosophy on what mattered , and I think that that made him even more irresistible and charismatic , and so if anybody's not read some of his work toward the end , please go and check that out .
Speaker 3It's fantastic . All right , let's talk about the role of authenticity and charisma , because I do think that they boost each other in ways . Because you don't want to come across as ingenuine or faking it , you want to have this genuineness to your charisma . Talk a little bit more about what you think the relationship between authenticity and charisma is .
Speaker 1I think if we just go to a dinner party or we go to a networking event and we set like a micro goal in the back of our head , or maybe we write it in a notepad and it just says be authentic , be yourself the entire time , then that in itself is going to help us feel more comfortable and bring some of these charismatic qualities to the surface .
Speaker 1And I think the word authenticity gets thrown around a lot and sometimes we don't even really know what it means anymore because we use it so
Mastering Authenticity and Charismatic Presence
Speaker 1much . But to me , I think authenticity just means tell the truth . When someone asks you a question about your life , answer it in the most honest way you can , and don't try and turn the volume up on your success or sound cooler than you actually are . Try and turn the volume up on your success or sound cooler than you actually are . Be vulnerable with people you know , and if someone asks you how is that project going and you're actually feeling a lot of resistance towards it and maybe you're not as far as you'd like to be on that project , tell them be honest , be genuine , and that's the type of thing that makes people sit forward in their seat and actually pay attention .
Speaker 3Yeah , people want genuineness , people want to be told the truth , and I do think there's something about leaning into the you-est part of you , right , like that you really know yourself so well that you don't feel like you need a mask in order to poke through social situations , that you can just be like yeah , I am who , I am showing up the best way I can most days . You know , it was really funny . I'm going to go back to the dinner party networking event , because I go to a lot , and I was at one this summer in California and someone said hey , michelle , you know you have a book coming out . How's it coming ? And I was just sat there and I started laughing out loud .
Speaker 3What does that mean ? I said I am struggling right now . This summer I got so far and then I got stuck . I hit a wall and they're just looking at me eyes as big as saucers , like holy cow . She's telling us everything . I said , yeah , I mean I'm not worried , it's going to get done because that's who I am and I'm just very perseverant . But , man , it's been to get done because that's who .
Speaker 1I am and .
Speaker 3I'm just very perseverant . But man , it's been a monkey on my back this week and deep forward . It's like that was the talk of the night , like Michelle's having a rough go . I said I'm going to be fine guys , but like honest , in this moment , not feeling really great about it , I'm going to have another glass of wine . Maybe I'll get some inspiration from this evening . Yep , or a shit act .
Speaker 1Sure , but that's the sort of thing that you know makes people feel more comfortable talking about their lives in an honest way , and then we're having a real exchange where we're actually talking about our lives as they are , not the way they're projected on Instagram , and that's just going to make for much more valuable and interesting conversations overall .
Speaker 3Much more relatable . All right , let's talk about those micro habits or micro activities and actions we can take to really bolster our charisma .
Speaker 1Sure , sure , and I kind of , like I said , we've got those three areas of charisma . I usually like to start with presence and I think most people , especially guys , they want to start with power , you know , and sometimes the women that I coach want to start with warmth . But I'm like we really kind of got to back the truck up and we got to start with presence , because presence , to me , is the bedrock that you build this entire charisma on . This entire charisma mansion is built on the foundation of presence , because you cannot show up with charisma , with magnetism , to a moment that you're not even present to . We're never going to be our most nimble within a conversation if we're not totally present to the person in front of us who's speaking to us . So we need to always start with presence , and I think that presence is just paying attention to what's happening around us on a moment by moment basis . When someone's talking to us , it's doing our best to focus on their message before preparing our own statement , and that's a tough thing .
Speaker 3That's a tough thing for all of us to do Active listening versus preparing to respond .
Speaker 1Yeah , active listening , right , and I think that there are a few things that we can do to just be more present in our daily interactions . And I'd say the first thing is , whether we're with people or not , just pay attention to the feelings , the sensations , the sounds around you . Maybe it's the car horns behind you , maybe it's the sound of your feet hitting the sidewalk . The more present we can just be to the noise that's actually happening in our life , the more present we're going to be able to be in our interactions as well . Second thing that we can do to just be more present in our interactions is if we're in a conversation and our mind starts wandering . We're thinking about what we're doing for lunch . We're thinking about why our last Instagram reel only got 200 plays . We're thinking about what we're doing for lunch . We're thinking about why our last Instagram reel only got 200 plays . We're not focusing on the person in front of us .
Speaker 1It can help a lot to anchor ourself in a mindful breath . Just take one breath in and out of your nostrils , feel that breath for everything that it is , and then check yourself right back into the moment , and a lot of times that's all it takes and then you'll be right back into that person's message . And then you'll be right back into that person's message . And then number three and I just think it's so obvious it still has to be talked about it's daily meditation . I mean , daily meditation to me is just the absolute key to staying present in every area of your life . And the science says it takes about two months of 10 minute daily meditation for that prefrontal cortex imaging in your brain to actually appear more dense . So there is science behind this whole meditation thing . I mean , it's not just magic hocus , pocus , mumbo jumbo . If you meditate for 10 minutes a day , focus on your breath , for two months you will start to see tangible differences in how you show up to your life and especially to how you show up to your personal interactions .
Speaker 3Spoiler alert . At the end of almost every one of the chapters that are focused on the principles that I teach in my book that's coming out in the spring , I talk about what are the ways to apply that particular principle , and I was talking with a publisher who said you know , you repeat meditation 10 minutes a day every day , preferably in the morning if possible almost on every one of your principles . And I said , yeah , it's that important . She's like we should probably just preface this with there's going to be some repetition . How do you apply this principle ? Well , first of all , 10 minutes of meditation . I don't care if you're just sitting there for the first several weeks of your life . 10 minutes is to create that expansion and space to contemplate a new chapter , a new reality , a new vision for your life , and it's the bedrock of a lot of the things I teach . So I'm right there with you 100% If you really want to change your life , spend 10 minutes a day , quiet introspection . It's amazing what it can do .
Speaker 1It works and it's just going to help you in so many ways . It can help you focus on the things that really matter for longer periods of time . It's going to help you to resist the urge to eat that Oreo cookie at the end of the night that you know that you really don't need . It's going to help you make better decisions . I mean , you can go right down the list 10 minutes of meditation is probably the best ROI you can get on just about anything in your life for that short of a period of time .
Speaker 3Weird , just didn't think on today . You never know what's going to happen and I am pleasantly surprised that we both are at that same takeaway . All right , let's talk a little bit about , just in terms of body language and presence , tone of voice and the connection with charisma , because I do know that that we have very similar backgrounds , because I know you have a background in communications . I ran a PR agency for 25 years , so being in front of people and giving speeches and talks and influencing people was part of the job , and I know that intonation really plays heavily in capturing people's attention and bringing them on a journey . So talk a little bit about how you work with people on things like tone and body language .
Speaker 1For sure . And I'd say a lot of tone , body language , inflection , it kind of speaks towards the power pillar of the entire charisma triangle . There , you know , we've covered presence . We're kind of moving on to power
Enhancing Communication Skills for Success
Speaker 1now . So I'd say when I work with people , usually one of the first nonverbal cues that I'll kind of teach them to ingrain in their habits is good posture . And I just think that if we kind of concentrate on our posture for a few days in a row and just make that the focal point of what we're trying to do from a communication aspect , we're just going to feel more confident in every situation . We're going to get more done . Our entire life is going to be transformed by like five degrees if we just concentrate on good posture .
Speaker 1And to me good posture was explained best to myself by Tony Robbins a long time ago I went to one of his conferences and you know he's a house on fire for like eight hours a day . Anyone who hasn't seen Tony get out there and see that guy while he's still doing it because he's a force of nature . And he talked about nonverbal communication for one of his segments and he spoke about posture and he said that good posture is pretty simple . What you want to envision is a string ever so slightly pulling your chest out and up . Relax your shoulders and just envision there's a string attached to the center of your chest that's just ever so slightly pulling it outwards and upwards . That doesn't mean you're puffing your chest out like a rooster . That doesn't mean you're holding your arms out to your side like a Hulk Hogan action figure . It just means your chest is ever so slightly out and up , your shoulders are relaxed , and that is what relaxed confidence looks like and that's what it feels like . So I'd say , from a nonverbal perspective , good posture at the number one thing that we can work on .
Speaker 1As far as tonality goes , there's certainly a few things that we could talk about here . I think one thing that's always worth talking about is most people just speak a little too quickly , and I think a lot of people that are in leadership positions , or maybe they're aspiring to be a leader , could do well to slow their speech down by a few degrees . And it's going to sound slow to you internally . It's not going to sound slow to the listener , it's just going to sound slow to you .
Speaker 1But the beauty of slowing down your speech , inserting some pauses in your speech here and there is that it makes you sound more confident , more in control , and it also gives your brain a little bit of time to catch up to your mouth and you're just going to wind up saying more relevant , interesting things . If you just slow the speed down a little bit . I'm not saying you got to be like the guy from Ferris Bueller , bueller , bueller . We don't want to be that guy because it's still 2024 and we got stuff to do but just occasionally , slow your tempo down a little bit and I think you'll see people react to you in a completely different way .
Speaker 3I think there is something very commanding about slowing your speech down . It forces the listener to also lean in when you slow down , and it's emphasis . I use it all the time . When I want to emphasize something , I slow right down and you add some pauses too right .
Speaker 1I think the power of the pause cannot be overstated . I think it was famous piano player Arthur Scannable said the notes I handle no different than anybody else . It's the pauses between the notes is where the art resides , and I think that's true for communication too . If we feel enough confidence to pause once in a while maybe it's at the end of a statement , maybe it's the middle of a sentence we're going to project that confidence that we know people are not going to interrupt us because what we're saying is important enough .
Speaker 3A hundred percent , and this also goes into writing . I would say one of the things that I've come to really believe is where does the comma go ? Someone says I was writing today . Well , I put a comma in in the morning and we removed it later in the day because we realized we didn't need that particular pause . But it all goes back to say where you put the emphasis is really important all goes back to say where you put the emphasis is really important 100% , 100% .
Speaker 1So I do think the pause , the slowing down of the speech are just two things that people can kind of think of at their next networking event , their next dinner party . I think it's important too that when you're practicing these skills , don't try and do them all at once . Don't try and go to a party and be great at eye contact and be great at verbal pauses and be more present . Just practice one at a time , you know , and layer these skills as time goes on .
Speaker 3Okay , I'm very curious if you have a story of transformation that maybe you can share on how charisma changed the game for somebody . Certainly , I think the Steve Jobs example is a great one , but I wonder if maybe someone you've coached , or maybe even in your own life , if there's a story that you can share of how charisma really changed the game of their business or the impact they were having or on their relationships . I'd love for a real life example if you have one .
Speaker 1Of course plenty , I'd say . The first one that comes to mind is a client that I worked with recently and he was in sales and he just wasn't hitting his numbers the way that he thought that he should , and we kind of broke down his communication process . And usually just from talking to someone for a half hour I can pick out a couple of things that they should kind of work on immediately just to foster a better connection with the people around them , you know , with their clients and family members .
Mastering Charisma Through Effective Communication
Speaker 1And there was one thing that I noticed right off the bat with him was that the second I stopped speaking he was boom . He was already had like rocket ship coming off his back and he was ready to talk and tell a story and tell me what was on his mind . And and I could tell that there was like so little of a break between me speaking and him speaking and he was consistently stepping on my sentences as well . I could tell he wasn't actually listening to anything I was saying , right , like maybe he was listening to the first 25 percent of my statement , but by the end he totally lost me and he'd already formulated this super cool thing that he was going to say right back at me and I kind of brought that to his attention and I think it hurt a little bit at first and I think he was kind of in denial saying , no , I'm listening , I'm also just preparing my statement at the same time and I was like it's just kind of not how it works right . We don't really have the ability to fully listen to someone while formulating a response in our head at the same time .
Speaker 1So I taught him a little tactic that I think has really helped his overall communication and his ability to connect with those around him . I said , when someone's speaking to you , pause before you respond . It doesn't mean you have to pause for three seconds , but give it a beat , give it a second , give it a half a second , give it a little bit of time for their statement to land on you . Let them fully finish their statement , let them land the plane and then give it a second . Let your face react first . If it makes you happy , smile , then speak . If it makes you concerned , ruffle your brow and then speak .
Speaker 1Give your mind a little bit of time to catch up to your mouth and also let the person in front of you fully finish their statement . Because , let me tell you , there's so few people in their life that actually let them do that that they will appreciate that on a level that you can't fully comprehend . So let people land their statement , pause , react with your face and then respond verbally , and I think it took about three weeks before he started seeing a tangible difference in his business . His clients felt listened to , he in turn was making much more relevant responses because he was actually listening to the initial statement and it's just been a game changer for his business . Those are the types of things that make me do this work , because I really just think most of us we've got good intentions , we want what's best for the person in front of us . We just don't always know how to listen .
Speaker 3I think you're spot on with that . I mean , communication is an important part of just living a human life , and the better you can master your communication skills overall , the better you're going to do in life in general . I think that that's just the bottom line there . Let's talk about individuals who may be more shy or introverted . You might feel a little apprehensive about being magnetic and being more charismatic . What advice would you give to them about bringing forth this more magnetic quality of charisma and still feeling authentic to who they are ?
Speaker 1sure , and I think that for someone who is maybe a little more introverted and they're like there's no way anyone's ever going to look at me and say magnetic or think charismatic , like I'm not the rock , I'm not oprah winfrey , that's just not who I am . And I I try to explain to them that they've got their own unique brand of charisma . It's within them , it's always been there and we just need to bring it to the surface . And it's not going to be like the Rock , it's not going to be like Jimmy Fallon , it's going to be your own unique charisma that people enjoy and they want to be around and they want to be led by . And we've got to just kind of clear out the clutter and bring that to the surface .
Speaker 1And the way that we clear out that clutter is by breaking it down step by step , reverse engineer it . It's not one skill , it's not two skills , it's a series of skills . It's eye contact , it's verbal pauses , it's great listening skills , it's staying present , and we don't try and do all these at once . For a lot of my clients I'll break it down , we'll work on presence for a week , two or three and then we'll move on to the next skill , and that's kind of how you got to look at this communication thing , this charisma game .
Speaker 1It's a long haul process and you're never going to be perfect . Sometimes you're going to go to an event and you're going to flub your speech or you're going to tell a story that bombs welcome to life . That's just how it is . But if you're very introverted and you're struggling with this idea of being a charismatic personality , it's just important to realize that there have been people in your shoes before who have done it and they have ascended to their most charismatic self because they broke it down and they worked on it skill by skill by skill . And at the end of the day , if you break it down and you just knock those skills down like dominoes , a year from now , two years from now , you can just be showing up like a totally different person in social settings .
Speaker 3I love that . All right , this is a more thoughtful question . So if you had to distill your philosophy around charisma into like one core principle or mantra , what would it be ? How would you sum this up for somebody from a philosophical standpoint , how you look at it as being so central to the work you do and helping people be more impactful in their lives .
Speaker 1I would say if you have a mission in your heart , if you've got a vision in your mind , if you've got something important that you want to do with your life , then charisma is going to be a key part of that formula . And if you don't work on this muscle and you don't train this skill , your level of impact will meet a ceiling , and I wouldn't want that for anybody .
Speaker 3I love that . All right , my friend , let's talk a little bit about what's coming up for you on your journey as the Charisma Hacker and your coaching . What are you working on right now ?
Speaker 1Sure , I appreciate the question . I'd say you know we're releasing a course soon . It's called Charisma 25 , and it's basically 25 days to a more charismatic self and kind of what I've been talking about on this podcast is we just kind of break it down day by day , skill by skill . What you should be working on today , tomorrow , the next day . I'll always recommend that someone goes through the course a few times . You're not going to come out the other end as charismatic as Jimmy Fallon , but if you do follow the steps and you do commit to this program over the course of a month , you will be a more charismatic self , so very passionate about the course that we've got coming out and working on a keynote speech that we're going to be given next year all over the country and beyond . That Persistence Playbook is a big time passion of mine and we release an episode every week and absolutely love doing that , just like yourself , hira , on your Extraordinary Life .
Speaker 3The Persistence Playbook is a great podcast , and I had the pleasure of being on it not too long ago earlier in the year , though and I really enjoyed it and I have it on follow . I subscribed . It's a great show and I love that . Your episodes are roughly around 30 , 35 minutes . They're easily digestible , so I highly recommend that , if anyone's looking for a new podcast to add to their playlist , to go ahead and put Brett's in the queue Persistence Playbook so where else can listeners find you , brett ?
Speaker 1Sure Well , persistence Playbook definitely the number one spot if you want new Brett stuff every single week on your phone . And the other place to go would be at the Brett McDermott on Instagram where we are usually posting , you know , two to three videos a week right now . We'll probably scale that up in 2025. , but I'd say Persistence Playbook at the Brett McDermott Best two places to find me .
Speaker 3Yeah , what people may not know is that Brett is a dad to a toddler and a newborn , so he's got a lot on his plate beyond the expansion of his business realm . So we'll give you the leeway of two to three videos a week before you start scaling up to two or three videos a day .
Speaker 1Oh , I appreciate that . Yeah , definitely two to three videos a day . When you've got a two-year-old and a six-month-old I'm sure there's someone out there doing it More power to them , because that's pretty impressive they're going live changing diapers or something . Right right .
Speaker 3Well , congratulations again on your expanding family and on the work you're doing . It's really important and I'm so grateful that you had time to come on the show and talk more about it and help our listeners really take a step back and think about how they're showing up and if their charisma is really all volume up or if they could dial in a little bit more , and I wish you all the best , my friend .
Speaker 1Thanks , Michelle had a lot of fun .
Speaker 3All right , until next time , everyone , go and live your extraordinary life .
Speaker 2Thank you for listening to today's episode . If you enjoyed this podcast episode , please take a moment to rate and review . If you have recommendations for future topics , please reach out to me at michelleriosofficialcom . Lastly , please consider supporting this podcast by sharing it . Together , we can reach , inspire and positively impact more people . Thank you .
