Live Your Extraordinary Life With Michelle Rios

Alignment & Self-Mastery: Are You Walking Your Talk?

• Michelle Rios

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In this solo episode of Live Your Extraordinary Life, host Michelle Rios pulls no punches. She’s asking the hard questions—and inviting you to do the same. Are your daily choices aligned with the life you say you want? Or is there a quiet, widening gap between your words and your actions?

Fresh off the road from retreats, keynotes, and writing, Michelle returns with a fire-lit conversation on the power of alignment and the underestimated discipline of self-mastery. She breaks down why most people—yes, even high achievers—are living out of sync with their desires, and how that disconnect erodes self-trust, fuels burnout, and keeps you stuck in cycles of “trying” instead of becoming.

Expect real talk, neuroscience-backed insights, and a powerful 5-question Alignment Audit to help you reclaim your clarity, recalibrate your habits, and start living in radical integrity with your truth. Whether you’re building a business, calling in love, or seeking more freedom, this episode will challenge you to stop just talking the talk—and start walking it.

If you're ready to collapse timelines and become the version of you who already has the life you crave, this one's a must-listen.

WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast. I'm your host, michelle Rios, and I am thrilled to be with you today. We are diving in deep on a topic that's near and dear to my heart, and that is alignment in self-mastery. The bottom line is are you walking your talk? Okay, why are we talking about this? A lot of you who follow the show are going to know I took a little bit of a hiatus for a few weeks.

Speaker 1:

I've been on the road and doing some writing and some speaking, and I've been at a retreat, and now I'm back and what I am seeing relative to alignment is really eyeopening, and I say that not only of those that you know, the people I meet out and about, but also what's happened in my own life. Right, let's be honest. We all say we want to succeed and we want to be at the top of our game, whether it's business, a career or a healthy body, or finding the love of our lives or friends that feed our soul or the wealth that really creates freedom. But here's the million dollar question Are your actions actually in alignment with the life you say you want? Because here's a truth most people don't want to hear. You don't get what you want. You get what you commit to, what you do day in and day out, how you live your life. And when your actions contradict your desires, you're not just delaying success, you're actually eroding self-trust. So this episode is all about alignment, real alignment and self-mastery, that secret that bridges the gap between ambition and reality. And here's the honest to God's truth Most people are out of alignment. What they say they want and how they actually live their lives are two totally different universes. And if you're listening to this podcast, I already know you're a high achiever. I know you're driven, I know you've got big goals. But I also know that even high achievers fall into this trap saying one thing thing but doing another, wanting results but avoiding the mirror that shows the gap between who you say you are and how you actually show up. Even I fall down here. But this episode it's not about judgment. It's about the hard truths that are going to set you free if you're willing to hear them. So buckle up and let's dive in, all right.

Speaker 1:

So are you out of alignment? How do we know? If we took a look at your last seven days, your calendar, your bank statement, your screen time, your habits, your conversations, would we see someone becoming who they say they want to be? Because your life is always showing you what you're actually committed to, not what you hope for, not what you intend to do what you actually do. Let me give you some real world examples.

Speaker 1:

So say you want to build a million dollar business, or even a six figure business, but you're not even putting in 90 minutes of focused work each day. Or you say you want to find love, maybe even start a family, but you're still entertaining emotionally unavailable people. Or worse, you're still not emotionally available yourself. Or you say you want to get into shape, but the last three times you promised yourself you'd start on Monday, you didn't. Or you want to grow your network, but you're actually way too busy for real connection. That's distraction. That's not alignment, it's avoidance, and we're all culpable of this. You're not alone If this is something that you're experiencing. Believe me, most people are out of alignment, but the life you want requires a version of you that shows up before the results appear.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about misalignment, because misalignment creates more than disappointment it creates mental chaos. If we take a look at neuroscience and psychology for a moment, we know that our brains crave coherence, which is when your beliefs, your values and your actions all line up, and when they don't, you experience something called cognitive dissonance. That's internal friction, and it causes stress, self-doubt and even procrastination. It actually creates two major issues it goes back to, it erodes your self-trust and it guarantees that you stay stuck in place while convincing yourself. You're trying. Research shows that cognitive dissonance causes anxiety, procrastination and burnout anxiety, procrastination and burnout. So when you say you value health but you don't prioritize sleep or hydration or movement, that disconnect. It creates the mental stress we're talking about, even if you're not aware of it, and the prefrontal cortex, the decision-making center of your brain, gets fatigued by repeated misalignment. You're literally making it harder to make good decisions when you're living out of sync with your values. According to a study in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, people who are in a constant states of misalignment with their goals are also significantly more likely to self-sabotage, avoid accountability, numb out with distractions and feel burned out, even when they're not doing that much. Translation misalignment isn't just a personal problem, it's a performance problem and it's not all emotional, it's neurological. And the more you stay out of alignment, the more fatigued your decision-making brain becomes, and the more you stay out of alignment, the more fatigued your decision-making brain becomes. Self-mastery is what restores your clarity and conviction.

Speaker 1:

Okay, let's talk about the illusion of effort, right? We need to debunk a major myth right now being busy does not mean you're in alignment. Far from it. You can fill your day with 37 tasks and still be completely off track. Ask me. I know a study by a Harvard Business Review found that up to 80% think about that. 80% of the average workday is spent on low value activities meetings, admin, responding to things that feel urgent but actually aren't important and aren't going to help you achieve your goals.

Speaker 1:

So you may feel like you're putting in the work, but the real question is are you moving the needle in the direction of your true desires? If you want to grow a brand, for example, are you building assets or are you just consuming content? If you want to change your life, are you investing your time in strategy and action or are you staying struck? If you want to change your life, are you investing your time in strategy and taking action or are you staying stuck in strategy consumption? There's a difference between activity and effectiveness, between looking productive and actually being productive, and alignment lives in that gap. All right.

Speaker 1:

So self-mastery isn't sexy, but it works. Most people want freedom, right, but they don't want the discipline that's needed to create it. And here's the paradox Freedom is the byproduct of self-mastery. When you master your choices, your focus, your energy, you don't need motivation. You move from a place of intention. Angela Duckworth, the author of Grit, found that long-term discipline is a much stronger predictor of success than IQ, talent or even passion. Angela Duckworth, the author of Grit, found that long-term discipline is actually a stronger predictor of success than IQ, talent or even passion. Self-mastery means doing what it needs. Self-mastery means doing what needs to be done, even when you don't feel like it. In fact, especially when you don't feel like it, you're not waiting to become disciplined. You decide to act in alignment again and again until you are that person.

Speaker 1:

Okay, here comes the truth. It's time for a personal alignment audit. I want you to grab something to write with or you can use your phone, but grab a journal, a piece of paper or your notes in your phone and I want you to ask yourself the following questions what do I say I want? Okay, I'll repeat that. What do I say I want? Number two what actions do I take consistently? What is it that I do day in and day out, and do they support what I say I want? Number three where's the gap? Number four what's the story I'm telling myself about why I'm not doing what I need to do to get what I say I want? What's that story I'm telling myself about why I'm not doing it? And number five who would I need to become to close that gap? Now, if you need to take a few minutes, go ahead, stop, pause the episode and answer these questions as honestly as you can.

Speaker 1:

This is going to give you a much more accurate assessment about whether or not you're living in alignment. And let me be clear Alignment is not just about what you do. It's about who you become through what you do, and there's no need to be perfect. It's about being congruent, showing up in integrity with your own desires. People think alignment means doing more, but often it means doing differently. So saying no when you always say yes, slowing down when you're addicted to speed, or choosing discomfort today for growth tomorrow. Because nothing drains your power more than saying what you want Okay. Because nothing drains your power more than saying you want one thing and yet doing another, because nothing drains your power more than saying you want one thing and yet doing another. Okay, so let's talk habits. Self mastery is the bridge between your potential and your reality. Again, it's not about being perfect, it's about being in charge of yourself, your thoughts, your energy and your habits. So you want to know what alignment looks like in action.

Speaker 1:

Here are habits of people who walk their talk. Number one they have a morning practice that sets their intention. Daily Studies actually show that people who start their day with intention are 87% more likely to follow through. I like my odds. Morning practices are game changers. Number two people who have habits that align their walk with their talk guard their energy like it's currency, because it is because not everything or everyone deserves your energy or attention. Remember that. Number three they keep their promises. They follow through period. If they say they're going to do something, they do it Even when no one is watching. Number four they say no with confidence. Alignment requires boundaries. Number five they check in with themselves regularly.

Speaker 1:

Alignment isn't a one-time thing, it's a daily recalibration. And lastly, they don't let the hard moments take them out. Sometimes you're going to fall flat on your face when it comes to alignment. It just happens. But when that happens, you need to adjust, recommit to your goals and then just keep going, pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get back on the horse. Self-mastery, again, is not about control. It's about consistently acting in service of your higher self.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so you've done that alignment audit. If you find that there's a gap between where you are and where you want to be, that's a message. The gap is showing you where you're out of integrity with yourself. And the bridge that's the decision to do something different, to live different, to embody the person who already has the life you want. You don't have to earn alignment, you just have to choose it. So here's my challenge to you If you're out of alignment, don't shame yourself. Reclaim yourself, recommit to your truth, to your goals, recommit to your vision and back it up with action. Look at the next 30 days and ask what would it look like if my actions reflected radical alignment with what I say I want? Alignment with what I say I want Now? Go do that, be that version of you now, because alignment is how you collapse timelines. It's how you go from stuck to striving to unstoppable and thriving. And it all starts with this. Walk your talk, own your energy, master yourself. That's the path to getting everything you say you want.

Speaker 1:

I want to thank you for spending this time with me in this episode. It's such an important one. We all need that reminder. We all need that holding up of the mirror to assess whether or not we're living in alignment. So if this episode hit you in the gut or lit a fire under you, please share it. It's the best way we can reach more people who need to hear this message. And lastly, if you haven't already, I would really appreciate if you could subscribe, rate and review the show on Apple podcasts or iTunes or wherever you're getting your podcast. Thank you again for joining me. It's been an absolute pleasure to be on this journey with you. Until next time, go and live your extraordinary life. Go and live your extraordinary life. Oh my God, you are kidding me right?

People on this episode

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Michelle Rios

Host