Live Your Extraordinary Life With Michelle Rios

The Seven Spiritual Questions for Leading a Meaningful Life with Marni Battista

• Michelle Rios

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What happens when the foundation upon which you've built your entire life suddenly breaks? For Marnie Batista it took a near-crippling ski accident—with seven fractures in her sacrum—to recognize that she'd been chasing external markers of success that could never truly satisfy her soul.

During nine weeks of forced immobility, she confronted the question that would transform her life: "If I'm not doing, then who am I?" This profound awakening led to the development of her revolutionary framework, the Seven Spiritual Questions for Leading a Meaningful Life, which forms the heart of her new book.

Marnie reveals how our attachment to outcomes and expectations creates unnecessary suffering. She shares a transformative story about a music festival experience where letting go of control completely shifted the energy and unlocked joy that would have otherwise been missed. This lesson applies universally—when we don't get what we want, or get what we don't want, how we respond determines the quality of our lives.

At the core of authentic living is distinguishing between what Marnie calls our "shopping cart" (achievements, titles, possessions) and our true soul essence. Through her concept of the "soul map," she offers a practical way to identify what naturally energizes you, the conditions under which you thrive, and your core motivations. When your life aligns with this map, existence flows with remarkable ease.

For busy professionals who believe they don't have time for spiritual practices, Marnie introduces the accessible "four-way check"—a simple daily conversation with your intellect, body, emotions, and inner wisdom that takes just minutes but yields profound insights. As many executives discover, the badge of honor of an overscheduled calendar is actually "pumping the brakes and gas at the same time."

Whether you're questioning your career path, feeling unfulfilled despite outward success, or simply sensing there's more to life, Marnie's insights offer a roadmap to greater meaning, purpose, and joy. Take the first step by visiting RadicalLivingChallenge.com to discover your own hidden blocks to fulfillment and begin designing a life that truly resonates with your soul.

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Speaker 1:

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Speaker 2:

That's extraordinarywealthco when we don't get what we want or we get what we don't want, how we react to that really is the quality of our life, and really learning that lesson can change your life in so many ways and actually improve not only your personal relationships but your business relationships. The kinds of money you make, impact you make.

Speaker 1:

Hi, I'm Michelle Rios, host of the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast. This podcast is built on the premise that life is meant to be joyful, but far too often we settle for less. So if you've ever thought that something is missing from your life, that you were meant for more, or you simply want to experience more joy in the everyday, then this podcast is for you. Each week, I'll bring you captivating personal stories, transformative life lessons and juicy conversations on living life to the fullest, with the hope to inspire you to create a life you love on your terms, with authenticity, purpose and connection. Together, we'll explore what it means to live an extraordinary life, the things that hold us back and the steps we all can take to start living our best lives. So come along for the journey. It's never too late to get started, and the world needs your light. Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast.

Speaker 1:

I'm your host, michelle Rios, and today I am so thrilled to be able to introduce you to who has become now a dear friend of mine, mark Batista. Marnie is an entrepreneur, she's an author, she's a transformational life design specialist, she's a podcast host and she's a radical truth seeker. She happens to be the founder of Dating with Dignity and the Institute for Living Courageously, organizations that are dedicated to empowering women to create fulfilling intimate relationships and meaningful lives. Marty's latest book, your Radical Living Challenge Seven Questions for Leading a Meaningful Life offers a unique blend of both spiritual wisdom and practical exercises designed to help individuals just like you redefine to success and reignite passion in their lives. Her work has been featured in publications as vast as the LA Times and the New Yorker, and she's appeared on multiple programs, including the Dr Phil Show On Air with Ryan Seacrest and Home and Family TV. I am thrilled to present to you my dear friend, marnie Batista. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 2:

Marnie, such a nice, heartfelt welcome, so thank you.

Speaker 1:

I am just so happy that we had the opportunity to sit back, now that your book is out there, now that you've had the opportunity to launch and it's breathing, it's going and doing its thing in the world to just kind of sit back and have some reflective time together on this journey and what this book is doing out in the world. So thank you for taking the time to do that. I'm so happy to do it. Let's start with the first question. Okay, what does it mean to you, marnie Batista, to live your extraordinary life?

Speaker 2:

So I love the question because I was just actually thinking about this and talking about it with my husband last night because in the last five years, since COVID, since I had my ski accident, which was sort of like the impetus for my own sort of wake up call I've really been committed to living a life that is extraordinary and for me that means fully expanded version of myself, so that my life actually allows me to express myself and gives me challenges and adventures and fun and everything right that is actually set up to allow me to be even more of who I am and to question those things.

Speaker 2:

I would say in all that is then to design every single part of my life with intention to not ever be on autopilot. My husband said last night sometimes I fantasize like if we would have never left Los Angeles, like we just have this house and we wouldn't have to always decide what are we doing next, what are we doing next? And I said, yeah, that is the often not talked about flip side of freedom is taking personal responsibility for the choices that you're going to make. And I wrote a piece yesterday about the grief for the version of us that kind of thrived with structure, that just did what she was told, that could hustle 100 million miles an hour and not like give a thought about it, right, like there was a comfort and safety in that when you decide to be extraordinary, there comes great responsibility with that freedom.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that is so true. I love how you talk about the idea of being so intentional about different aspects of your life, because that's what draws up the authenticity, that's what actually allows the alignment to unfold. Otherwise, you are on autopilot and, let's be honest, there are times when there is a tremendous amount of freedom in not having to think about that.

Speaker 2:

A hundred percent.

Speaker 1:

And yeah, that's also the very thing that stifles us from that next leveling up. So I appreciate that, yeah.

Speaker 2:

I mean, I think we're all conditioned to be uncomfortable with change. Especially the older we get, we become more attached to what is, and because we can't predict our happiness as humans, it takes a decision and a commitment to live an extraordinary life. My husband said, like at the end of your life, what are the experiences you want to say you had? What kind of life did you say you wanted to live? And I was like, yeah, like I'm thinking about that and all the decisions that we make, and so everything is intentional.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that. All right, let's dive into the book. Okay, what motivated you to write your radical living challenge and how does it reflect your personal journey? Because I know a little bit of this backstory, but I would love for our audience to hear it from you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So what motivated me? I mean, it was sort of like everything happened that pointed in that direction. But I did have this near crippling ski accident. Just weeks before everyone was hoarding toilet paper 2020.

Speaker 2:

And I was in bed for about nine weeks, unable to literally do anything, while everybody was cleaning vegetables in my kitchen, and I had this profound awareness that if I'm not doing, then who am I? And when the doctor said you're healed according to the scans and the x-rays and I still was walking with tremendous pain that I was terrified. It was going to be lifetime chronic pain. I was like what else is going on? And that required deeper reflection and some process to kind of uncover that. And what I realized was that I had broken seven places in my sacrum, which is the foundation of your physical self, because the foundation on which I had built my life no longer served me and so I had to break that in order to rebuild.

Speaker 2:

And I wrote the book because there was no map. I couldn't find a roadmap online, other coaches I couldn't find anyone or any how to figure out. Well, if I'm not this, then what do I do? I just didn't know how to get there. I just knew that I couldn't keep doing what I was doing, and so, in my own journey of figuring that out, I came up with my own system and framework that ultimately became the book, and in the book I tell the story of my own journey and my own reinvention, in each chapter through an adventure. My husband and I went on living in an RV full time.

Speaker 1:

I love it. Let's get into that a little bit. I want to talk about the seven spiritual questions because I think that as the framework of your book, they're so beautiful, first of all in helping and inviting the reader to really examine their life more closely.

Speaker 2:

Can you elaborate on the seven spiritual questions that you talk about in the book and the significance in leading a meaningful life was that, in that moment of near paralysis, that if I aspired to the traditional metrics of success, it became really clear to me that I would never be satisfied. Because if you're using the more more as your metric more money, more cars, more status, more clothes, more trips, more right Like that's infinite and there's never enough and it just hit me like I will never be satisfied. At the same time, my dad had died a year before and in the last day of his life he was mumbling about credit cards and just like desperate to get into his email, like half unconscious, like trying to get that password. He got locked out. He's like mumbling about. You know, it was just like a lot Right, and I had this. I was so sad, but there's a like a put a pin in it moment where I was like is this what I want to be thinking about? Like at the end of my life. I was like, uh, no, you know.

Speaker 2:

And then I kind of went about the grieving process and about six months later I was sitting at a sermon and I heard the spiritual leader talking about this story in the ancient text, about you go to the pearly gates and you're asked these seven questions Did you lead a meaningful life? And I immediately was like, did my dad? And then I realized, oh, you know, one finger pointing out, three fingers pointing back at you, and I was like, wait, am I? And then that's when it hit me that, oh my gosh, the more framework, the more paradigm is never fulfilling, never meaningful, you're never arrived. It's all outside of our control.

Speaker 2:

And these seven questions, I love them because give me a project, right, like I felt like they, because they were internal, they're about the relationship you have with yourself, that that was something that I could do and that I could find meaning in every step, and that there is no final answer in this journey of spirituality and meaning. And that seemed like resonant, like wait, this is kind of how I want to flip the switch. And so I dove into studying them and then I was like wait, everyone needs to know about this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Give us a flavor. What are some of the questions? We don't have to get them all. We want to go and get the book and we'll have links to the book and we'll talk about where they can get it later. But give us a little bit of flavor for some of the really perfect.

Speaker 2:

So I think let's see, I always like to start with the one that was in the ancient text. It was the first question and I universalized and modernized all of them right for our time. But in the ancient text it was were you honest with money? And when I set about to do this research I was like, well, that's really interesting. I mean, this is like pre-Ten Commandment vibes Were you honest with money, what? And so what I learned was that this was the first question at the pearly gates, because the thought was that if you were honest about money, which is everyone's very attached to and self centered around if you were honest about money, then you'd probably be honest in your life. And I thought, well, that's really interesting.

Speaker 2:

And then I started to really look at like honesty overall and I thought, well, most people learn about honesty with others Generally. You know, most people are familiar with the Ten Commandments, right, we try to be an integrity. And I thought what nobody's really talking about is are you honest with yourself? And so that question were you honest with yourself? And the idea of radical honesty is a really important question because when they interview people, at the end of life people have a lot of regrets for what they didn't say, what they didn't do, what they didn't let go of, what they didn't go for Right. Those are the regrets that people have, and I think a lot of that comes from avoiding the truth and trying to navigate around it rather than in it, and that, to me, is a really, really important question, because self-honesty allows us to reveal what's really holding us back, to have difficult conversations, to stop doing what it is that isn't aligned and to start doing the things that we're afraid of. So to me, it's a really beautiful guardrail.

Speaker 1:

Well, and you just hit on something that I want to stay with for a minute, because I think why so many people get stuck and not really being honest with themselves isn't because they don't know. It's because they don't trust what's coming up to be valid, or they don't believe that they are worth pursuing their own dreams, that they have some self-worth issues that are really deeply holding them from moving forward, and or they really are questioning that. What's coming up for them, what we would say you know your truth, what's bubbling up naturally for them like that doesn't make sense. That's not what I was told. Where's that coming from? And they negate their own internal wisdom.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So I think what is cool about this question is that it does require us to learn some new skills, right? And so one of those, and I teach you and talk about it in the book, because everyone asked me this question how do I know if this is? I just wrote a sub stack, a post about it. How do I know if this is what I'm supposed to do or if this is just the inner critic, right? How do I trust myself?

Speaker 2:

And so the concept I want to kind of introduce to your audience is this idea of resonance and dissonance and that, as a soul, we're kind of stitched to our physical self. When we come in and when things are really resonant at a soul level, those stitches between our physical self and our soul are just seamless. And what happens through our experiences when things are dissonant, little knots and tangles end up happening and we feel that, like it, just something just doesn't feel right. And what most people do is they avoid, like I don't know what, what to do, I don't know what's true or not true, so I'll just kind of suck it up for another six months or not deal with it, or hope it works out, or see if something else outside of me changes, and then all of that mental gymnastics and avoiding right pulls the knots tighter and tighter until we're in so much pain or the universe delivers us something that forces us to untangle those knots.

Speaker 2:

So the way that you can be honest is you can start to recognize with very simple things at the beginning of, like, what is resonant, what feels like a full body, yes, and what feels a little dissonant, and then keep it really simple at the beginning. You know, like, go to the restaurant and look at the menu instead of saying what do I want, look at it and be like what feels, like soul, like energetically aligned for me today, you know, and sometimes it might be like cheesy nachos, you know, with lots of stuff on them. You know, might not be a salad, right, and that right there is like, oh wow, what's really going on here? Is there a rule about salad? I talked about this to so many women and they're like oh well, I always look around and see what the other ladies are ordering, you know, right.

Speaker 1:

It's a guilt thing, it's a guilt shame all wrapped up in one, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So it's like such a great place to practice being like what's resonant. You know that one bite of the dessert usually feels pretty resonant, and we know when we have like 20 of them, it starts to feel dissonant, right, and so I always use food as a great example, because it's just so simple. It's something we do every day, but once we start to learn, or like hanging out with someone that you really love, that's really easy and fun and you're like oh, that felt really resonant. So I teach you that in the book so that you can start to understand. When are you pulling those knots tighter? And then the other question we can talk about is like well then, how do I start to like it's like jewelry? How do I start to untangle those knots?

Speaker 1:

that are really really tied up. I love it. All right, let's talk about stories, because you share a lot of personal stories in this book. Could you share one that was particularly transformative for you with the audience?

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh, there's so many. I think my favorite story from the book, when my husband and I first decided to kind of experiment with leaving Los Angeles and living in an RV full time, we rented. Well, first we rented a Sprinter van for two weeks and we loved it west coast of the country for like eight weeks and one of those things that we did was we went to this music festival In that music festival. It was amazing. It was the first time I'd ever done anything like this, especially with my husband. We were, like you know, making out like teenagers. It was like it was like a peak moment, right. So when we got the RV and we went on our year long adventure, we decided to commit to that. We went back and I realized that I had all these expectations and attachments of what it should be like because that was perfect and that was the. That was like the ultimate experience romance, fun, playful. It was like the first time, right. And we get there this year it's like 103 degrees in the shade. Uh, if you've ever, I'm curious, which music festival were you? Oh, it's called. It's called watershed. Okay, okay, it's in Eastern Washington. It's a country music festival.

Speaker 2:

And we get there we're traveling with our two cats. If you know anything about RVs, like even with air conditioning they really only can cool like 10 degrees less than the temperature. And so the minute we start driving there, my husband, who's a little OCD, starts freaking out, worrying, anxious. What are we going to do? You know you can't run generators there. It's like too loud with the cats Like, and he was just so angsty and like unhappy and in my brain I was like be like you were last year, this is supposed to be fun. You know, like I was just so attached to that and I also realized a pattern maybe some of you can relate where I was like I literally do everything I can to try and make my husband happy so he can be who I want him to be, and I don't like it when he's uncomfortable. So what do I do? I start jumping in with solutions and, okay, what do we do? And he's just like stop it.

Speaker 2:

And so I have this like moment of self-awareness around not needing to control, awareness around not needing to control, not needing to fix, letting go of my attachments and my expectations to allow this experience to be what it was meant to be, and practice all of these questions, like in one moment. They all kind of came together and I just remember and I wrote about the moment. But I just shifted the energy and I was just like let's blow up the baby pool. Like there's a whole thing where you bring a baby pool and you fill it with water and like people are just chilling in their baby pools when it's really hot out. It's so fun. And so I was like, hey, let's do that. And I just shifted the energy and I went and I just filled it up and we were just and it shifted and I realized, wow, like I get to create, like the energy, I can set the energy by how I respond to situations and when I'm aware of my own patterns, then so much possibility.

Speaker 2:

And the first year I saw Tim McGraw if anyone knows that song, live like you're dying, right, and the whole idea is like you know, you just live your life full out. And that was the moment where I was like you know what I need to live like I'm dying, like I need to have like my time, I need to let this go, I need to just be here for myself. And it was a huge, huge moment and we ended up having a great time because I didn't need to control the entire thing and make it be what I wanted it to be, because that's not life, but oh, I'm so good at it. That was like a life lesson to get in again.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I'm just for all our listeners out there. I just sit for a moment with this because it certainly resonates with me. How often have we gone into situations that are maybe repeat deja vu moments and we go in with the same expectations that it will be what it was before, and then, when it doesn't, you're let down or you feel disappointment or you think something is wrong or fill in the blank. And yet if we just hold off on giving it or judging it based on what our previous experience was, you open up a whole realm of possibilities for it to be different, new and equally good in a different way.

Speaker 2:

Totally and I realized I do this not in repeat experiences, but on any, whether it's a conversation with a potential client, how I want my book launch to go, how I want my kids to be, you know how I want, like the first. You know when you drop your kid off at college, we have these rules of how we think things should go and write this down. When we don't get what we want or we get what we don't want, how we react to that really is the quality of our life and really learning that lesson can change your life in so many ways and actually improve not only your personal relationships but your business relationships. The kinds of money you make impact you make right Because you're really being there for it and you're able to be creative and you're able to be who you really are. So it's a huge question to really dive into because if you're practicing that and that's the area of your focus, you can really expand in that way because it's in your control.

Speaker 1:

I love that. All right, let's connect to coaching. How does your radical living challenge align with the work that you do at the Institute for Living Courageously and Dating with Dignity? Tell me about your overall philosophy and how this all aligns.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so when I started coaching 16 years ago, I had gotten divorced and I was trying to figure out how do you date with your dignity intact. And I worked on that for five years and I solved the puzzle as much as I could and met my husband, who I'm married to now, and I wanted to write a book about dating and it all like came together and I was like the way that I teach the dating piece is that you fall in love with yourself and then you find someone to love, right? So it's an inside out job and most people do the other way, like they just want to know the strategy.

Speaker 1:

And they want that person to validate them so they don't have to worry about loving them.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, it's a huge piece and it's so vague, like loving yourself. What does that mean? So I really help clients do that and what I noticed over, you know, working and having my business, for you know, at that time, like 12, 13 years, I had clients that stayed with me for three, four, five, seven, eight years, right, I helped them meet their dude and then they realized, when they love themselves, right, that their whole life was built based on this desire to prove their worth because someone told them they should. It was reaction to a divorce or a loss, and they were like, wait a minute, I want my whole life to be soul aligned. And so they would stay with me and I would help them live this life. And what they all would say is wow, this is beyond what I could have dreamed of. So when I was in that business, after 12 or 13 years, I knew that what I did was so much more than dating and I started to resent my business because it was limiting me. And you know you have to do marketing. We all have to market, right, and you know we all have to give them what they want or sell them what they want, but give them what they need.

Speaker 2:

I was on TikTok, michelle, and I was getting all these followers. I was talking about dating and I just was like I literally dislike all of you, like all the comments. And I was like and I said to this colleague of mine like I think I need to break up with my business, like I just don't want to talk about this anymore. And he said, well, do you love your business anymore? And I was like no, but I think I could suck it up for like three more years. And he was like that is not a Marnie thing to say. And then I went to my coach and he was like what is the soul of your business? And I was like, oh, it's really living life on your own terms, beyond what you can imagine, and doing it in a way that doesn't blow it up and that basically that soul.

Speaker 2:

When I started to explore that, the idea for the book came. I pivoted my brand. That was like three years ago and I've just it's like again. I lived in a 40 foot RV. It's like a you know, a rockstar bus, it's huge. So you don't do a hairpin turn, you turn it slowly. So for the last few years I've just been like turning this thing around. I still totally do dating and I love helping people with dating. I can do it with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back, because it's really is easy when you have the process. But now when people come to me, they know that this is like, this is soul work, this is deep work, like we're going to do the inside work, and so those clients like are, it's so fun, it's so yummy. I help people with life design. I help people be leaders in their business. So now I have to just really be all of who I am in my business.

Speaker 1:

I love that. All right, let's talk about the role of spirituality. We haven't delved too deeply in there, but I would like to talk about how incorporating spirituality into the daily life contributes to personal transformation and how you experienced in your own life.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I just talked to someone who said you know, like I'm so sick of trying to strive for this divine connection and like why can't I just be? And I was like I totally get it, because when we think about spirituality or meditation or any of those things as like a to-do thing to get an outcome, it does just become a task. Right? You're like I have to meditate because if I meditate I'll make more money, like no so. And in the book one of the questions is like did you live a spiritual life? Mostly, did you make time to listen, to study, to learn, to ask yourself questions? And that is what I think a spiritual life really is and how you do that is a 100% based on your unique soul map. Like that is yours to figure out and is a fun adventure. You get to choose your own adventure in spirituality.

Speaker 2:

And I think that people get really tied up when they think they have to meditate for 20 minutes or sit cross-legged or light a candle or chant an um or do breath work or do this that it just becomes like so overwhelming. And so when that question was created in ancient times it really was about did you set aside for learning? That's really it. And learning is like the inward learning, like learning about yourself. What do you want? What do you think? When I talk to leaders, I tell them this is like basically the meeting you have with yourself. Like how can you go around every day and like tell people what to do and make big decisions and lead other meetings if you're actually not even having a meeting with you?

Speaker 1:

Well, so I'm very curious, and we may or may not be on the same page with this, but how do you feel when I say something like spiritual? We're spiritual beings having a human existence.

Speaker 2:

I totally agree. I just want people who don't get that to understand that they can access this wisdom they have inside of them in a way that works for them, because I think a lot of people get turned off or they have a lot of limiting beliefs or rules that meditation doesn't work for me. I'm not woo woo, that's you know. I'm an engineer. I don't operate that way and I'm just here to say are you creating time to get quiet, to listen to the voice inside, to get to know what feels resonant and dissonant? Ultimately, a lot of people end up connecting into something bigger, and I don't need you to. I just am telling you that if you live a life where you don't even have five minutes to be with yourself and say how am I doing today, that's a reason why you need to take five minutes and say how am I doing today, and I teach a process in the book. I'll just go over really quickly, because it's like listening for dummies, so to speak. I call it the four-way check. You can close your eyes, you can keep them open. The only reason why we want you to close your eyes is to not be distracted, but if it works for you to like look down and just find a point on the floor and just stay focused on that. That works too. And you're just going to check in with your intellect, your brain. Hey, intellect, what's going on today? Now, when I do this, my intellect is like girlfriend, there's a list, do this, do that. And I'm like whoa, and sometimes I'm like no-transcript, can you do that thing? That this been on my mind, like, can you please do that, follow through, make it happen, yeah. And I'm like okay, cool. And then my that part of my brain just goes and then I go okay, body, what's going on for you? Right, what do you need? Oh, my God, you know you ate like a lot yesterday. Can you just like move a little more, can you? I just really need you to go to bed. You're having a dialogue, what do you need? And then you ask your emotional self, like how am I feeling? Like, am I sad, am I angry, am I tired? Am I pissed off at my husband? But just ignoring him, like, okay, well, what do you need? Honestly, I just need to relax. Maybe I need to take off early and like watch a silly rom-com and watch cat videos? Okay, great. And then, finally, you ask your inner wisdom. You could call it your spiritual self, you could call it your higher self. It's just that part of you, that is your truth, and you just go.

Speaker 2:

Any messages for me today. Imagine the pink memo sheet. You know, oh, what's the memo? You got this. Just relax, I'm going to be okay. I do that in the shower. I can do that while I'm driving. I can do that while I'm laying in bed. It's so basic. I teach you that in the book and it is when I have clients do that for like seven days in a row, like literally everything changes.

Speaker 1:

I love that and you know this is such an important point. You do not need to do all the things in order to access that part of you. I think that simple advice around making time to be with yourself, whether that's alone in your room, on a walk in nature, in your car just take the time. And I do believe breathing of some sort is good, because I spend most of our time holding our breath.

Speaker 2:

Definitely breathe.

Speaker 1:

Definitely breathe I can tell you, having had the ability to study and learn many different methods, from yoga to meditation to Reiki, the simple part of just being with yourself is the most important part.

Speaker 2:

A hundred percent and most executives will say I don't even have time to think Well, how can you have your best ideas if you're so busy doing you literally can't. I'll be meditating. Sometimes I'll get like the best idea I just drops in and I go back and I'm like that was amazing, right. So it might be while you're working out. It might be going for a walk without your ear pods in. It might be just sit while you're waiting in your car wash and put your phone away and just be, just be.

Speaker 1:

I have the best, probably the most influential mentor very high up in my career. I thought by the time I got to the C-suite that I really wasn't going to have any time. I had the best, probably the most influential mentor very high up in my career. I thought by the time I got to the C-suite that I really wasn't going to have any time to run a company globally. It was a lot going on and he said whoa, nellie?

Speaker 1:

First of all, if you aren't blocking off time in that calendar where nobody else is scheduling you, not your assistant, not other people in the company that's for you to think how can you lead?

Speaker 1:

You can't. It was revolutionary for me because as you kind of grow up in a career, or particularly in the corporate environment, but really any organization or business, you tend to think well, I don't have any time, my time is somebody else's time, that's what I'm getting paid for. As you start out and then as you move up, the idea really is, the more responsibility you have, the more free time you need to just be, because you cannot lead people from a place of chaos, from a place of busyness, from a place of lack of clarity, which was, quite honestly, all those previous experiences as well, as I was doing, I was doing it without a lot of clarity and when I got to that higher level in the C-suite for him to actually give me the permission to say no, no, your time needs to be blocked out for you every day. You need time for you so that you can be for everyone else. Do not forget that.

Speaker 2:

A hundred percent. And when I work with executives, and the first thing they do and they're like look at my calendar, like it's like a badge of honor, look at this thing, look at all the colors, you know, like I don't even have time to take a shower or eat lunch and I'm like, okay, exactly. And so you are so wise and that is so true, and if that is you and you're listening, I hope you feel called out. You are pumping the brakes and the gas at the same time.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely word in this whole business, and yet it is so important. Let's talk about how individuals can maintain this thing we call authenticity while still seeking meaningful connections in today's modern world.

Speaker 2:

Well, I do not like the word authentic because I think it is overused and I think that we think our authenticity is authentic, but actually it's a lot of ego. Right, like, oh, my authentic self, I call it the shopping cart. You know, like you have this imagine you're in the shop, the Costco of life, and you believe that the authentic you has a lot of different items that you've pulled on the shelf right and it's like you're a nice car and your job title and what a good daughter you are and a great mother and there's all these rules, and you've got the shopping cart. And I realized this when I was in bed for nine weeks is that I had none of the shopping cart items. I couldn't do any of those things. And so that's when I was like, oh well, what is the authentic me? And I realized that the authentic me was based on all that stuff. So I sort of go to the. For me, the next level of that is what is actually your soul, that I mean, you just hit the nail on the head.

Speaker 1:

Actually, that to me, what is your soul? Who are you? Your most authentic being is who you are at your spiritual base.

Speaker 2:

Yes, right, and so, and so I always like, when I were with a client, I'm like, okay, we're emptying out the shopping cart and we're like, oh my God, look at all these rules, you know, look at all these things. And so one of the things that I talk about in the book is what I call your soul map, and that is really important because of the shopping cart, because of the identity, because of whatever we think our authenticity is. It's really great to actually understand that for a lot of us, the life that we're living, and you have this experience when you're in the C-suite and doing all this stuff, there was a version of you that thought that was going to be the end-all, be-all, that that was going to make you happy, that checking that box would be like, Michelle, is it, this, is it right? And then we wake up and we don't feel fulfilled, happy, we don't like it and we feel so much guilt and shame because this is what we worked so hard for and this was supposed to make us happy and what's wrong with us and all of those things.

Speaker 2:

So one of the first things to really excavate is really understanding at a soul level, what are you today? What do you love? What do you love to do at a micro level, like the most granular level, that feels effortless, it feels like it's in flow. You're highly engaged. How do you best carry those things out? What are the conditions? What are the conditions? What are the environments? Where do you thrive? And then what are your core motivations? And I walk people through that in the book and when you get this soul map, I do this with leaders, executives all the time and they do it and they're like, oh God, no wonder I don't like what I'm doing at my job right now.

Speaker 1:

Lack of alignment, yeah.

Speaker 2:

I don't do that. I also did this with a client. I like this Right.

Speaker 1:

But then you look at the actions and how they live and they're like oh wait, I'm not doing any of the things I say I like.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. And then I also had a client and this is really interesting too and, I think, helpful, so I'll share. It is part of like her angst was her regret that she should have been a doctor. She had a fantasy that like, instead of being like a executive in a consulting company, that she should have been a doctor and that she failed right. So we did the soul map, we worked through it and I was like where is doctor in this? I was like I literally I'm like looking at the whiteboard, i'm'm like where is this? She's like there's nothing in it. She's like, I mean, I like puzzles and I like spreadsheets and I like doing that, but it's really more like the creative. And it just hit her and it was like, oh my God, like cause her parents told her like you know, you shouldn't be a doctor, you don't want that life, you're not good at it. And she always felt like she failed.

Speaker 2:

And when she looked at her soul map she was like number one. Now I know exactly why I don't like my job right now, because I'm not doing any of the things that fill me up. Also, where did I get the doctor thing? And so when you ask the question, what is your authenticity Like? It's your soul map. And then I want my wish for everyone who's listening or reads the book is that then you start designing your life, your work, your relationships, every area, your money to be an expression of that soul map. So what you do is in flow and ease, how you best carry it out, flow and ease and your core motivations flow and ease. And when that lines up, then life feels pretty freaking awesome.

Speaker 1:

Well, Marnie, we're going to end right there because that's a mic drop moment for you. Please tell everyone where they can find you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so you can go to RadicalLivingChallengecom, and it's the two L's RadicalLivingChallengecom, you can find out about me, you can get the book and I have a quiz called Decode your Destiny, and it will actually help you uncover the hidden blocks that are keeping you from living a fulfilling and meaningful life, and what shifts you need to make to start getting there and start heading in that direction.

Speaker 1:

Okay, marnie, thank you so much for coming on the show. It's always an enlightening experience to spend time with you, listen to your stories, your experiences. Thank you so much for sharing all of this of yourself and for all our listeners. I really encourage you to go and look up Marnie's new book. It's your Radical Living Challenge Seven Questions for Leading a Meaningful Life. We'll make sure we have the link in the show notes and until next time, go and live your extraordinary life. Thank you for listening to today's episode. If you enjoyed this podcast episode, please take a moment to rate and review. If you have recommendations for future topics, please reach out to me at michelleriosofficialcom. Lastly, please consider supporting this podcast by sharing it. Together, we can reach, inspire and positively impact more people. Thank you.

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Michelle Rios

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