Live Your Extraordinary Life With Michelle Rios

La Dolce Vita: A Midlife Reinvention Story with Paola Versano

• Michelle Rios

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She had the résumé that’s supposed to quiet the questions: CEO success, a long marriage, two kids, a beautiful life in the US. And yet Paula Verzano still felt the thing so many high-achieving women rarely admit out loud: life looked great, but it didn’t feel fully aligned or fully alive.

Michelle Rios sits down with Paula to unpack the exact moment that “Is this really it?” became impossible to ignore and what it took to choose reinvention at midlife. Paula shares how her Italian American upbringing shaped her ambition and self-sacrifice, why she decided to prioritize herself for the first time, and what “going all in” actually meant: divorce, leaving a multimillion-dollar business, and moving to Italy alone to pursue citizenship and a new chapter. Then COVID hit and everything got harder. You’ll hear the practical reality behind the dream, including fear, logistics, loneliness, bureaucracy, and the deep inner knowing that kept her moving anyway.

We also dig into what the Dolce Vita lifestyle really is and what it isn’t. Paula explains why her Italy retreats for women are intentionally not tourist trips, how beauty and presence can become a catalyst for clarity, and why re-entry support is where lasting change happens. The conversation touches self-love and self-worth, the cultural patterns that teach women to put themselves last, and the “hard mirror” effect when your courage makes other people uncomfortable.

If you’re navigating midlife transitions, craving aligned success, or considering a bold life redesign, this one will give you language, perspective, and real-world insight. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs permission, and leave a review so more women can find these stories.

WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Coaching Message And Invitation

SPEAKER_01

This episode of the Live Your Extraordinary Life Podcast is brought to you by Transformational Coaching with Michelle Rios, created for high achievers just like you, who've checked all the boxes yet still wonder, is this really it? You've built success, but deep down you're craving more, more meaning, more freedom, more joy. You're ready for your next chapter. One that feels fully aligned, deeply fulfilling, and unapologetically yours. Through my transformational coaching, I'll help you break free from the patterns and beliefs keeping you stuck, clarify your vision for life and business in this next chapter of life, build unshakable confidence and self-trust, align your mindset, energy, and actions so success feels authentic and easeful, and create extraordinary results without sacrificing yourself along the way. If you're done playing small and you're ready to rise, visit Michelle RiosOfficial.com backslash coaching to learn more and apply. Your extraordinary life is waiting. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_00

It's so much better to rebuild from a place of beauty than a place of breakdown. You know, I could have very easily said, I'm breaking down my life here, and I'm gonna just pull up my boots and grin and bear it and just, you know, work through the hardness. And instead I said, okay, I'm gonna break this down, but I'm gonna rebuild it in a place that energizes me, that inspires me, that makes me feel alive. Because I think it's gonna work out a lot better for me if I put myself in that situation.

SPEAKER_02

There comes a moment when you realize that the next chapter won't write itself. So if you're ready to step off the sidelines and start creating a life you truly love, welcome. Your extraordinary life begins now.

Meet Paula And The Big Leap

SPEAKER_02

Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Live Your Extraordinary Life Podcast. I'm your host, Michelle Rios. And today I am thrilled to introduce to you Paula Verzano. Now, Paula spent decades achieving at the highest levels of business. She built and led a multi-million dollar architectural metalwork company as CEO and created what most would consider a very extraordinary life. But beneath the accomplishments, she felt what most high achieving women quietly experience. Life looked good on paper, but it didn't feel fully aligned. So at age 50, Paula made a bold and deeply personal decision. She left her life in the US and moved to Italy by herself, not to escape her life, but to intentionally design one that reflected who she was becoming. Today she is founder of Paula in Italy and the creator of Design Your Dolce Vita Lifestyle, where she hosts immersive retreats for women in Italy and guides high-achieving women to reconnect with beauty, presence, joy, and alignment. Paula, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00

Hi, Michelle. How are you? Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_02

I am so excited for this conversation. I am so excited to delve in. So let's just go ahead and get started. So you had built a really successful life here on the East Coast. You have two kids, you were married, it's a successful company. I think from the outset, a lot of people would say, Paula, you've got everything. It's all going great. But something wasn't aligned. Tell me more about that moment of like realizing this is not it.

SPEAKER_00

So,

When Success Stops Feeling Alive

SPEAKER_00

you know, I grew up in the US and my parents were immigrants from Italy. So, you know, being first generation, first child born to two Italian immigrants, the pressure to perform was always very, very high. After all, they had left everything they knew for a better life for their family. So I grew up with that mindset: work, career, income, drive, success. And I had built my life around checking all the boxes. Had a very successful career, graduated with honors, married, beautiful children, nice house, great career. Um, success was what it looked like from the outside. And I do have to say, Michelle, I wasn't unhappy. I was happy in my life. It was a very good life when you looked at it from the outside externally. But I wasn't feeling fully alive. I wasn't feeling aligned with what excited me. I was working, checking the boxes, doing everything I needed to do for my family, but I realized I wasn't doing what I needed to do for myself. And that's when I started to realize I don't know if this is how I want my story to end one day. So raising children, you know, you don't really have time to think a lot about that. You're focused, your go, go, go, you know, being a working mom with the successful business, with children, and everything that comes along with that. I really would say that I had feelings of what it could look like, but they were suppressed. You know, there wasn't time to think about what could be because there were so many demands on me in that moment. But when life starts to get a little quieter and the children start to go off to college, and you know, you realize soon you're gonna be hitting 50, and it might not be exactly what you were hoping it was gonna be like. Then that little voice inside of you starts to get louder and louder and louder. And for me, you know, it really was, it wasn't a harsh moment, it wasn't a specific thing, but it was just a knowing that became stronger. And I realized I couldn't ignore it. I would be doing myself and my family an injustice if I kept ignoring it, because it was taking its toll. Over time, it it eventually does take its toll. So, right before my 50th birthday, I decided it was time to make a very bold move and make some really big life decisions, which were terrifying in the moment. But what scared me even more was not pursuing what I wanted to pursue and not doing

Midlife Transitions And Reinvention Choices

SPEAKER_00

it.

SPEAKER_02

Let's stop here for a minute because I think what happens with so many of us in midlife is we come across all of these transitions somewhat at once, right? Like the kids leave the house. So you're starting to recognize that your role as a parent, your motherhood role in particular, is shifting. They don't need us as much. So we're renegotiating, like, well, who am I without these kids right under my feet anymore?

SPEAKER_00

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

And I've already achieved a certain level of success. Could you do more? Sure, but to what end? And you're sitting here going, okay, I'm I'm gonna guess you were somewhere around the 20-year mark or so in the marriage, right?

SPEAKER_00

23.

SPEAKER_02

23 years. I I get that. I mean, that resonates so much. And we're also going through our own physical changes as we age. So it's like all of these transitions, probably what you are experiencing is something that happens to most of us. But here's where I think it's unique. Not everyone who's facing down all of these transitions has the courage to say, I'm gonna reinvent. Like, not just a little bit, but like a lot. And that's where I'm fascinated because I I think look, a lot of people are like, like, I've been in this marriage for 20 years, we're now it's all laid bare, right? We're alone in a quieter house, now what? And that gets to be like, do I want to walk away from that? Do I want to start over? And not only did you make the decision that you wanted to experience something different, but you went through the divorce, the kids left the house, and then you left the country during COVID of all times.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

There's got to be, I mean, I'm I'm gonna guess dollars for donuts. There had to be those moments where we're like, what the heck am I doing? This is terrifying.

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely. You know, a lot of people, like you mentioned, feel what's next. You know, is my marriage really aligned with where I see myself in the next 20 years? Is my career exactly what I want? So people can make those individual changes. I threw it all up in the air. And for me, it was an all or nothing. I grew up in Italy during the summers of my life because of my family still brought us back every summer. So Italy was always a big part of me, the dolce vita lifestyle, the Italian culture, that was really always part of my upbringing. And I will say that that's where I felt more alive when I was in Italy, when I was living this lifestyle, even as a little girl. And my dream was always to have a house here one day, you know, the typical American-Italian dream. I'll have a vacation home in Italy. But in order to get from where I was point A to point B, having a home in Italy, at that specific moment in my life, right around my 50-year mark, I realized the plan that I had made for myself wasn't going to happen. It wasn't going to be a smooth transition to an Italian retirement home. And that's when I really started questioning everything. And I decided it might was going to be all in or not do it. So if I was going to be all in, what did that mean? That meant moving to Italy, getting my citizenship, purchasing a home, starting a business, and designing my dolce vita life where I was prioritized as the center. And that was a new thought for me

Going All In On Italy

SPEAKER_00

because I never prioritized myself as the center of my life. And I think a lot of women can relate to that. I prioritize my children, I prioritize my marriage, I prioritize my parents, friends, career. I never prioritized myself. So when I started to ask myself, what does that look like? It was an all-in or nothing. Now, COVID was the part that I wasn't expecting. A global pandemic, it kind of threw a wrench into my plans.

SPEAKER_02

Because you decided to do this before the pandemic.

SPEAKER_00

It was right before. Yeah, it was a little before COVID

Solo Trip And Permission To Dream

SPEAKER_00

started. So I went on a trip to Italy by myself. It was the first time I did not take a business trip or a trip with my family. It was my first stepping out alone trip to Italy where I spent a week and I just kind of gave myself permission to explore what it could be. What could this next chapter look like for me? I was not in the place I usually go to in Italy. I was in a place where no one knew me, no one had any expectations from me. I didn't have any roles or responsibilities. I could just prioritize myself that week. And I did. And once I gave myself permission to do that, because no one was going to give it to me, I had to give it to myself. Once I gave myself permission to explore how this can work, I wouldn't say a clear path, but clarity started to form. So I came back from that trip and I decided to start my citizenship process because I figured that was step one. That would allow me to stay in Italy for however long I wanted to stay. There were no restrictions. And shortly after I started that process, submitted the paperwork, had my date at the consulate in the US, and then COVID happened.

COVID Derails The Plan Then Opens It

SPEAKER_00

And the entire world shut down. Italy was one of the first hard-hit countries. And I just found myself grieving my dream. I said, oh my goodness, I just started to put this plan in action. And now this everything was shut down. What's going to happen? But there is a knowing in you when you're doing something that feels so right that not even a global pandemic will stop you. So I remember waking up one day and I said, no, this is not going to be the end of this motion, this plan that I've put in motion. So I called my immigration attorney and I'm like, Nick, how do we do this differently? Because I can't wait three years. If I have to sit here wondering when the country will open back up again, when the consulate will open back up again, my dream is just going to die. And this part of me is going to die with it. And God bless him. He is a very resourceful attorney. I have recommended him to so many people. If there is a way to make it happen, he will. And he did. He said, You can go to Italy. You would have to go now, and you can apply for your citizenship in Italy. But that means you may be stuck there for a minimum of three months, possibly longer, because we don't know when it will open up, shut down again. Italy was much more severe than the US with restrictions. And it means that you are going to have to figure out a way to get there because you may be blocked at the airport. So I was like, okay, well, let's give it a shot. And I packed up, I told my children they were supportive and afraid, to be quite honest. I mean, most people we knew were afraid to go to the supermarket during that time. And schools were shut down, you know, gloves, masks, everything. And here was their mother getting on a 777 to fly across the ocean to Italy, not exactly sure when she was going to come back. So that was big.

SPEAKER_02

That was very And let's just qualify for the listeners that at this point the kids are already college age.

SPEAKER_00

One was in college, yeah. And the other one was getting ready to go to college in a year. So she was already getting ready to look at some schools. They were kind of settled, but obviously not quite settled yet. And then their lives were up in the air too during COVID because it was, you know, a lot of online everyone, everything was different during that time. But, you know, the end of the day, I went and I was one of seven people on a Boeing 777 going into the country with a million COVID tests before, during, after, you name it. I landed, I had my appointment at the Italian comune, they call it, the town hall, to start my citizenship process. And then I would have to go into quarantine for two weeks and then wait. And I was lucky enough to find a furnished apartment that would allow my citizenship application to move forward. There was a lot of rules and bureaucracy that I had to follow. But everything aligned miraculously. Everything aligned. And looking back, I don't know how it all aligned because it was a lot of moving pieces that had to come together. But they did. And within I would say about 45 days, I had approval because they weren't very busy. There was no one flying into Italy to claim. Yeah, right. No, then I was prioritized. Now it will probably take you years, but I was prioritized and uh received my citizenship, my my residency, then citizenship and then passport. And from that, I was able to go back into the US and start to dismantle my life and start to rebuild it here in Italy.

Citizenship Fast Track And Rebuilding Abroad

SPEAKER_02

So for their listeners, uh, tell us a little bit about the decisions were so bold. There's one after another, but there's a decision that says this marriage isn't working anymore for me. And you had to resolve that. You had to walk away from a business that you had built together, correct? Exactly.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And is that business still exist? Did you guys say that?

SPEAKER_00

The business, the business does still exist. My ex-husband runs it and my son works there with him. But it was a business that, you know, we started with our wedding money, our wedding present money, you know. So it was really, you know, something that we grew together. And, you know, not only was the it was the marriage, it was starting over in a new career in a new country with no network, just the expat move alone, moving to Italy, is a very humbling experience. You feel like a child again. So you have to learn everything in a language that isn't your mother tongue. There's processes that are very different when you're living here than what you experience as a tourist here. So even for me who spoke Italian, it was a very, very humbling experience. And then it was the finding what does my career look like now? Is this idea of creating these experiences where I can bring women to Italy to step out of their day-to-day routine, out of their day-to-day life, to get clarity around what it is they really want out of life. Is that even feasible? Is that even a thing? I

Starting Over With No Network

SPEAKER_00

had no idea. I really had no idea. I just knew that I wish it had existed for me. I wish that container had existed for me. And the more I talked to people, the more I realized my feelings were not isolated. You know, the more I shared my story, the more I realized other women were feeling many of the same things and didn't know where to turn.

SPEAKER_02

What do you think has created this shift? Because this is not the same thing our grandmothers went through or our daughters, right? No. There was no sense like you hit 50 and you ex life, you let your you explode your life up. You just blow it up and start over. There's not there was nothing like that. In fact, I think like we all grew up with the same mentality of like you you start a company or you enter a company and you stay until retirement and then then you travel, right?

SPEAKER_00

And then you travel. Right. And then when you're old and everyone is where they're supposed to be, everything is taken care of. You've done everything right, then you can. Yes, I certainly grew up with that, and even more so from the Italian culture. Like women do not give themselves, at least the Italian-American culture, women do not give themselves that permission. No one gives them that permission. You know, their role, and in the mentality where I grew up, the role was, you know, the mom of the family was to take care of everyone else. So what made that change happen? I feel that my parents made such a huge step themselves in coming to the US to build a better life for their children, their grandchildren. And they did. And had I settled, I would have been doing them a disservice. I would have been doing the sacrifices that generations before me made a disservice. So I kind of took that as my freedom, if you will, as my obligation to not just past generations, but also to my daughter and future generations. You don't have to settle for the expectations that others put on you. Freedom of choice is the most important gift that I think we can give anyone. And I took freedom of choice on my own. And in doing so, I became a model for my daughter and other young women of what you can do uh with your life. It's not easy. It will be extremely scary, it is extremely risky, but it's certainly very, very possible. It's certainly very possible.

SPEAKER_02

Let's talk about the entrepreneurial journey

Why Women Are Rewriting The Script

SPEAKER_02

because I think most people have a very well kind of one of two views of it. Either one, it's idyllic and you're you have total freedom and over your time. But they don't actually understand the realities of like what goes on and quite quite frankly, how lonely it can get when you're doing it. Or they're like, There's no way, like it's too risky. Like, why would I even put myself in that situation? I've worked so hard, achieved so much. I'm in a great spot. You could have probably, you know, I'm I'm making this up, but you had done so well in your business that even through divorce, you could have said, I want to walk away.

SPEAKER_00

But I want to get a differ sure, stay in the US, just get a different job, maybe move to a different house, and that would have been fine. But that wasn't what my Inner self was asking for. It was still a betrayal of what I felt I

Entrepreneurship At 50 And Real Risk

SPEAKER_00

needed to do. I don't know why some people have this in them, but it's that voice. And some people can't ignore it for comfort. They will ignore it for stability. They will ignore it for safety. They'll they'll settle. And that's perfectly fine if you're okay with that. But when you feel in your in your soul that you are settling and doing a disservice to yourself, there's just something that propels you forward. So the entrepreneurial journey for me was in my genes. I mean, my parents left Italy with into the unknown. My dad was a tailor from the age of 11, started his own tailor business in the U.S., was very successful. I think every close family member that I have is an entrepreneur at some level. So I think it was in my DNA. I was an entrepreneur before I started the business with my husband when I got married. Very young in my career, I owned a marketing company for a short time. And then we started on this entrepreneurial journey together. So for me, it was the next step. I couldn't imagine going to work for someone else and fulfilling someone else's dream. I wanted to fulfill my own dream, right, wrong, or successful or not, I wanted to give it a shot. I also knew that if I failed miserably, at least I could have said I tried and didn't leave any stone unturned. And that was important to me.

SPEAKER_02

I think, yeah, you get to this certain point. And I know not everybody has gotten here yet, but there does come a point in time where the call of regret or the possibilities of regret far outweighs the risk. And you're like, I'm gonna try.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna give it a hundred percent. I'm not gonna leave any stone unturned. I'm going to give it my best and let the universe take it from there. But I will tell you, starting over as an entrepreneur in 50, it creates its own set of limiting beliefs, you know, and and for me, even with my entrepreneurial background, I was like, wait a minute, am I insane here? I am going to another country to try and start a business where my audience is across the ocean. So for me to get in front of them, what is that going to look like? You know, is Zoom going to be enough? I'm leaving an industry where it was very male-dominated. I was in engineering, architecture, and construction. And now I'm serving women. That's completely different. And I'm doing it in another country where I'm living out of an apartment and my kitchen table is my office. That's how I started this. So there was a lot of moments where I'm like, entrepreneurial spirit is one thing, but is this insanity? But you know, Michelle, I really believe that when it's meant for you, it will happen. My first year of hosting these experiences in Italy, I had four groups that came. I did not know one woman in those groups prior to her meeting me in Italy. They came out of nowhere. They came from networking events I didn't even know existed. They came from word of mouth of people that I had no idea were sharing my names, my name in those rooms. So they just appeared. And they've appeared again for this year, and they're already appearing again for 2027. So when it's right, it works. I honestly believe

How Paula In Italy Becomes Real

SPEAKER_00

that.

SPEAKER_02

Tell me about the moment that you really came up with the idea for Paula in Italy because I think it's such a beautiful concept. I mean, Italy is probably my favorite country on the planet. I've been there many times myself. I used to live in Spain. I just love everything about that lifestyle. And so I think it's it's a brilliant concept. But what really created that for you? Were you at home here in the US and thinking this is what I want to do? Or did you get to Italy and then figure out what the next step was going to be?

SPEAKER_00

So there were really three things that made me decide or opened my eyes to this possibility. And I didn't know how they would come together. The first was I knew that I was not alone. There were other women experiencing the same questions that I was experiencing during that time. And yes, you can go to therapy, and yes, you can have coaches to help you through it, but there's something about stepping out and stepping away from the everyday, from what you're used to, that no amount of therapy, no amount of coaching, no amount of anything can really give you until you're in a different place. And Italy is such a beautiful place. The Italian lifestyle is such an intentional, slower, aligned lifestyle where people here, yes, they do work, they work very hard, but they live even harder. So, you know, those things were going on in my mind. I always loved them. I always wanted to share that. And then there was the experience that I had for myself when I came over here and the clarity and the courage that that brought to me. That and I mentioned this earlier. I wish I had my type of container, my type of experience that I now offer that was available to me. I had no idea something like that would even exist. And then there is the thing that I always like to say it's so much better to rebuild from a place of beauty than a place of breakdown. You know, I could have very easily said, I'm breaking down my life here, and I'm gonna just pull up my boots and grin and bear it and just, you know, work through the hardness. And instead I said, okay, I'm gonna break this down, but I'm gonna rebuild it in a place that energizes me, that inspires me, that makes me feel alive. Because I think it's gonna work out a lot better for me if I put myself in that situation. So those were the three things that were really driving me, but how did I bring it all together? It started with a friend of mine who said, I want to do what you did because I'm going through some things and I just need to get out. And she was my very first one-on-one VIP client. She came here for four days and we worked together through some experiences where she was prioritized. It included fashion, food, just the entire Dolce Vizza lifestyle. We did a photo shoot together. She had never really liked to take pictures of herself before. It was all very intentional. She was prioritized the entire time we were together. And when our time concluded, she said, I don't know exactly what the plan is, but I know what I need to do when I go back to start making some changes. And she said, You are really on to

Retreats That Are Not Tourist Trips

SPEAKER_00

something. And I said, Okay, I just got my proof of concept. I didn't know if I would, I didn't know how I could create it, but her name was Elaine. Elaine gave me my proof of concept. And then from there I started to build. I said, Okay, if women do want this experience, want to have this time away, want this container where they're giving themselves permission, what should that look like? I immediately knew it was not a tourist trip. So, you know, those people who wanted to come and say, okay, I want to see 10 cities in seven days, that is not what I do. I intentionally bring them to a region of Italy, the Piedmont region of Italy and the city of Torino specifically, because it is off the beaten path. It is the true Italian lifestyle, the true dolce vita, not on any other tourist itinerary. And I immerse them into this lifestyle from the minute they arrive to the moment they land. Everything is very Italian, not designed for tourists. Every experience is a very high-touch experience where they're prioritized and it's done in a way that is joyful and makes them feel alive. It's not rushed, it's not checking off boxes, it's not a million selfies, it's not the typical tourist trip in any way, shape, or form. It's really an immersive experience where they're allowed to explore, they're given permission, they're giving themselves permission to explore what is working and what's not working. And it doesn't mean they have to throw their lives up in the air like I did and rebuild and move to Italy. Although I do get a lot of questions about how can

Re Entry Support That Makes Change Stick

SPEAKER_00

they move to Italy, at least for you know, three to six months a year. But it's really about what's aligned and what isn't aligned. And the most important thing I share with them and I support them when they're here is once you go home, once you re-enter, that is the most critical part of your journey. Because we've all taken the trip, we've all felt wonderful. And then within five to seven days at most, being back into our routine, our life swallows us up again. And we forget all of those things we said we were going to do, change, become, put in motion while we were away. So one of the elements of this experience is re-entry support because that's where it can go or not go. And what I tell my clients who join me is as soon as you get home, I ask you to put one thing in motion every single day for the first week. And by that point, they've already taken seven, five to seven, maybe sometimes more specific actions to start to explore what their idea, what their change, whatever is motivating them, can start to look like. And that is usually enough of moving the needle to bring them to the next step. And then oftentimes I work with them for a few months after that to also create a plan around what that action needs to keep looking like to bring what they were hoping to do to a reality.

SPEAKER_02

So you're the catalyst. The trip is the catalyst.

SPEAKER_00

The trip is the catalyst. It's the catalyst and the container

Space Away Creates A New Identity

SPEAKER_00

because the container is the space where no one asks anything of them. And a lot of times they tell me, I've never had an experience like this. I just show up, everything is done for me, and I can just enjoy be and give myself permission to think about what I want to do.

SPEAKER_02

This is such a phenomenal synchronicity for me because for about, I would say, the last 15 years, COVID withstanding and notwithstanding, we did something very similar in the sense that we had kind of figured out that our hectic lifestyle here in the US was not conducive to creating the space we needed to kind of figure out for both me and my husband and kind of our family at large what we wanted. And it was just too big and it was too loud, and we had these demanding carriers. And it just we went from you know, having a toddler where we'd go locally or nearby or maybe Maine or Florida for vacation to like we just didn't need to get away, far away. And so we started going to Europe, and that's really where it started. And I would say it's it's so interesting that we're having this conversation because Italy was the first time when we took our son to Italy, he was very young for the first time. And I was like, nobody knows us here, right? Nobody has my phone number here, nobody can call me on cell here, and we can be anybody, like we can just allow ourselves the mental space to imagine who we want to be. We don't have to walk around with the identities that we currently have back in our lifestyle that we've taken a break from, and we can just give ourselves that permission to dream.

SPEAKER_00

The permission, right?

SPEAKER_02

So that became an annual thing for us. We went on our dream vacation. So wherever we were, it was to spend at least 10 to 14 days holding off on that identity that we had back home and allowing ourselves space to breathe, like what snacks, what's new, what's coming up. And you know, I always say you don't have to go away, but man, there is something so magical magical.

SPEAKER_00

It's magical and powerful to go away.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, is it just really get far away from your current life so that you can really like just insulate yourself for a while and be whomever. And I always say it's so funny, no matter how old I am in my mind, I'm somewhere around 27. So right. And you just feel so much more vital. And like fully alive is a concept that I've explored significantly because I think that that's really the missing thing, right? Like it is people have successful lives, they they've accomplished things, but do they feel fully alive? And most people are like, not really, you know. I guess they're a moment.

SPEAKER_00

I think the majority of the majority of people, if they're going to be honest, probably not.

SPEAKER_02

That's the I mean, that's the exciting thing about the show is to be able to connect with somebody that's going through or has been through some sort of metamorphosis or reinvention where you're like, How are you feeling on the other side? It's not like life's super easy every day, but there's this aliveness that didn't exist previously, where you're like, nope, just going through the motions. And I think to some extent,

Self Love As The Foundation

SPEAKER_02

if we're honest with ourselves, there's that building concept of when we're younger and we're just walking through our lives, building from somebody else's concept of what success looks like, because we don't have our own framework yet. So we need to get out there and experience it. But you get kind of far down the road and you realize like, I didn't really choose a lot of the things I'm doing with intention. I've sort of stumbled into it, or I just went through with whatever the belief system my family had was, or what was conventionally acceptable in society at that time that I started it. And you're like, I'm in the muck of like raising kids and building the business and living life, and it doesn't afford for a lot of space. But I think what's really unique, and I'm so grateful we get to experience it in our generation. Because I do think our generation, Gen X in particular, gets a bad rap of like having followed in the footsteps of another person. I'm like, we're doing something very different. We are getting to that place of midlife where there is a little bit more space to think, and we're being incredibly intentional about what's next. We're not just saying, yeah, I'm just gonna keep dialing it in for another 15 years and then we'll see what happens. We're like, no, I'm willing to take the risk. Risk exactly all of it, risk all of it, and starting over because the idea of sleepwalking on autopilot through the next 15 years is actually more terrifying than the risks I'm looking at.

SPEAKER_00

It absolutely is. It absolutely is. And that for me was what propelled me forward during COVID, during the family situation, during starting a new career from zero practically. That's what propelled me forward because I just knew it would be beautiful when I got to the other side. And I have to say, sitting here now in the farmhouse that I bought two years ago, renovating it, hosting my, you know, design your dolce vita lifestyle retreats, it is absolutely beautiful. And, you know, I'm four years into this now, I'm 54 years old. I feel like I'm 25 again. And I did not feel that good in my 30s and 40s. So it's almost like a rebirth. Um, people look at me and they will say, you know, you don't even look like yourself anymore. And I think that's the most beautiful compliment. You know, I yes, I have more wrinkles. Yes, I am aging. But when they say, You look so happy, that is the most beautiful compliment I think anyone can ever give me because I am. Was it easy? No. Is it beautifully aligned now? Yes. Is it perfect every day? No. But that's where you get to work on it and just keep going forward with it. And it propels you.

SPEAKER_02

I really am curious about your thoughts on this. What role did self-worth and self-love play in this experience and journey for you?

SPEAKER_00

Okay, that's a really interesting question because I did not even know what self-love was. Like, what is this thing? I love my children, I love my husband, I love my parents, I love my friends. But self-love, like, who has time for that? What even is that? That is a selfish thing, you know. We don't as I you don't love yourself. That's very vain. However, I believe self-love is the love that I believe if you don't have self-love, you can't fully love everyone else in your life. When I started to understand that I needed to love myself and I was worthy of giving, I gave to my children every opportunity that I could give them, but I wasn't giving them to myself. So why was I not worthy of every opportunity, of every happiness, of every exploration of an idea? I would certainly encourage them and do everything I could for them. Why wasn't I doing it for myself? When I started to understand that self-love is the foundation of all love. And when you feel worthy, you love yourself, you will see your relationships evolve and grow. I was a good mom. I'm an even better mom now because I'm coming to them from a place of self-love, not just giving love to my children or to others. So, you know, self-love is crucial. If you don't feel you deserve it, if you don't feel you're worthy of living a fully aligned, joyful, beautiful life that energizes you and makes you feel so good every day, you're not fully showing up for those you do love. So I think it's the foundation of it. But many, like, you know, I had my mom had no idea what the word self-love was when I tried to talk to her about it. She was like, What are you talking about? I had no idea what it was. She didn't teach it to me. Her mother had no idea what it was, and she didn't teach it to her. But because I feel it and I live it, I can teach it to my daughter. What changed for us?

SPEAKER_02

What changed for us? Because I think this is the nail, yeah, the the hitting the nail on the head is something fundamentally changed for us that makes this possible. And I don't think like everybody in our generation is there yet, by any stretch of imagination. Otherwise, you would have no new clients and you keep getting new clients. And I keep getting new clients. It's coming from everywhere. That's very hands. You know, there's there's this awakening that's been happening, that's currently happening, hopefully will continue to happen. That perhaps the way things have always been done, I don't regret the history. Like no, not at all. Or you don't either. Very, very grateful because if we hadn't gone through it, what we went through, we wouldn't be successful at this stage of the game. I think it taught us so much. It gave us confidence to try new things and to be bold and to do new things. But what do you think happened? What is this awakening that made it impossible for you, for me, for other women that are choosing this big midlife reinvention even possible?

SPEAKER_00

You know, that that's a very interesting question. And I'm sure there is a lot of psychology behind the study of our society and what that could what could be the impetus for that. But from my personal experience, the one thing that I see different in previous generations is the betting on yourself. I had a

Envy, Fallout, And Hard Mirrors

SPEAKER_00

very successful career. And I knew that if I could do that, I had the skills. So I needed to trust myself and not a structure that was put in place for me or even a structure that I created. I knew that I was capable. And I think it was a confidence that comes from checking all those boxes, doing all those things, and being successful. If I could apply it there, I could certainly apply the same skills, the same techniques, the same intelligence, the same drive to what excited me. And I think we are a lot more courageous now than we were many, you know, generations ago, even a generation ago. Did people think I was crazy? Absolutely. Did they think, you know, I was going through a midlife crisis? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02

Even in your friend group, or only one. Oh, yes, especially.

SPEAKER_00

No, no, even in my friend group, yeah. I mean, I was the woman that. Threw everything up in the air and moved to Italy with two kids in the US to walk away from a multi-million dollar business to start something that she didn't even know was a thing. So yeah, there was definitely the she is off her rocker. She is a mid-life crisis. There is a menopausal shift going on in her that's very severe.

SPEAKER_02

But I bet you, I'm gonna just go out on a limb here. I bet you there was some envy. There was envy.

SPEAKER_00

There was envy. And you realize that when the people who you think were close to you start to fall away when they start seeing your success. And they fell away like flies. I mean, I can honestly say there's probably two people that have from my US circle that have remained close and supportive of me in this transition, and countless others have fallen away. And I do believe, and it's not envy in a negative way. It's I wish I could do it and she's doing it, and it's bothering me that I can't. So I need to remove myself because it's making me uncomfortable. Her courage, her audacity to do it is making me uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02

It's a hard mirror. I remember telling a really close colleague in the company I was working that I was resigning, that I had made the decision. I'd already talked to the founder and CEO that these were my plans. I was starting a podcast, I was writing a book, I was starting a coaching practice. I had all these things, and she just looked at me and the tears started to come down. And I was like, this is not the reaction I was expecting. I thought she was gonna be excited for me, right? Exactly. And so then my brain went to, well, she thinks she's gonna be left with the back. We were both carrying a lot of responsibility in this company. We're at the top. And I was like, look, I'm not gonna leave you in the lurch, we're gonna find the right person to replace me. It's gonna take some time, but I'm not leaving right away. And she's like, crying because you're leaving. And then I was really confused. I was like, she's not sleeping. And she doesn't, it's not because I'm leaving. And she goes, Don't you think I wish I was that brave?

SPEAKER_00

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly. That I mean, that was such a poignant moment for me of realizing, wow, this may not be something everybody is able to be excited about for me, and that's okay. But we may be exposing this level of fear that so many people have about the potential for reinvention. It's much easier to close that door than stay safe to fear than face to fear of what would be required to go through it. Because man, I I think you could talk to this as well. It really does strip you down to to a bare naked state of being.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, it is a very humbling experience. I had no idea.

SPEAKER_02

I had no idea you're in the middle of now of what I would call the renaissance moment, right? Like you have the beautiful farmhouse in a beautiful part of Italy. You've found love again. Yes, your business is thriving. So I'm so excited for you because these are the success stories we all need in order to keep going, to realize that look, it is super scary to make the shift, but it will be worth it if you don't give up. If you don't give up, but don't think it's going to be eating gelato

The Real Work Behind Dolce Vita

SPEAKER_02

every day.

SPEAKER_00

Like no, and you know, that's so funny you said that because when I talk to women about designing your Dolce Vita lifestyle, they're like, Oh, we're gonna be sipping proseccos along the beach and sitting in the piazza having a cappuccino. I'm like, yes, we will, but that's not what this lifestyle is. This lifestyle is a very successful lifestyle. It can bring you tremendous success, it can bring you tremendous achievement, but it's in a it's done in a way where you are not all consumed. It's not punishing, it's not racing, it's not fast, it's intentional, it's deep, it's immersive, it's aligned, and it is experienced. Life here is experienced. I work probably more hours, if you will, in a day here than I ever did running my company in the US.

SPEAKER_02

First of all, thank you for admitting that. Because it's important for people to recognize this easy, but absolutely.

SPEAKER_00

And it's and you know, in the beginning, there was very little income. I had one client who came in. So, you know, then I had to wait a whole other year cycle to get the next groups in. So, yeah, it was not, it's it's not this leisurely walk. I can do anything I want in my day. I have all this free time. You know, you see them on Instagram. I work two hours a day and I make $10,000 a day. You know, like, no, that's not how it works.

SPEAKER_02

Um with your team of 20 pumping out $10 worth of adds. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00

Like if you scroll through and block it because it there's they're very, very upsetting messages, um, unrealistic messages. But when uh you know, we go back to what we said earlier. When you're feeling alive, when you love the direction your life is going, when it's joyful, even the difficult moments are joyful because organizing these trips and all the logistics and all the experience, it is not easy. There's a million things that outside of my control that can go wrong. But it's done from a place of inspiration, from a place of beauty, from a place of it's going to work out. I have faith it's going to work out. And there is, it takes away the heaviness. Life here and doing the work I do doesn't have the heavy feeling that it had in the US. And that's just because I feel it's coming from a place of alignment, it's coming from my soul, it's coming from a passion, it's coming from a place of service. And so, you know, when all of that aligns and you're seeing that, yeah, it was really hard. I did some crazy things during COVID, but I did it. Look at where I am. Look at the things I've built. Is there still a lot to do? There's always a lot to do when you're an entrepreneur. There's always a to-do list, you're never finished, you're always creating and evolving. But I did it. And if I can certainly do it, then

Ambition, Clarity, And No Regrets

SPEAKER_00

you can do it as well.

SPEAKER_02

Well, and I think that this is it's so important for people to realize, because I don't think this is initially what's viewed, that when you make these kind of reinvention decisions, when you go through this entire blow up your conventional life to really pursue the Dolce Vita, um, that you're actually more ambitious than you were previously. Absolutely. A lot of people think it's like, oh, she just couldn't take it. It got to be too much, and she couldn't hack it. So she went off to go do something else. I got that a lot. You know, I was in like very traditional corporate America, uh PR agency world, very, very fast paced and very demanding. And then I said, I'm walking away and I'm starting this, this, and this. And they were like, and there was a there was a storyline was she's just exhausted. Yeah. And I was like, you know, she's burned out. She's burned out. And I said, look, that I certainly have experienced burnout in my lifetime and all of those things, but much earlier, right? When my kid was younger, little, right, much harder, balancing, and there was no balance, the work and the travel and all the things that were happening, and just feeling too pulled in too many different directions. When I left, it wasn't because of burnout, it was because I had clarity.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

Very different. And I said, I have a whole new set of goals I want to achieve. And if I don't achieve these, I don't feel that I'm gonna really look back on my life and say it was extraordinary. I'm gonna be like, I I settled and I don't want that. Right.

SPEAKER_00

And you didn't want that. And that's usually the fear that propels you to do this. You know, I didn't, I wanted in a very similar situation. I wanted to say I tried. I wanted to say I tried. I left no stone unturned. I used every resource I possibly had. I overcame every obstacle like COVID that was thrown my way, but I tried. So good, bad, or successful or not, I can say I tried. And when you put that kind of energy behind any idea, Michelle, I mean, you know as well as I do. If there's an obstacle, you find a way around it. You're motivated, you're willing, you're creative, you know, your brain works for solutions instead of, oh, this is heavy again. So it's it's just coming from a very, very different place.

Defining An Extraordinary Life

SPEAKER_02

Well, Paula, I am so excited. I'm really just uh very grateful to have met you and to have you come in and have conversation like this with me and our audience. And I'm so excited to hear what's next for Paula in Italy. We, of course, are going to include uh links to how people can find you on Instagram and also to your Dolce Vita retreats, which are super exciting, and I will be uh circulating amongst my group of friends. But I want to ask you one more question because I think this is really kind of the heart of everything. What does it mean to you to live your extraordinary life?

SPEAKER_00

That's a really very, very good question. Living my extraordinary life to me means following the dream that I had in my mind since I was a little girl and evolving that to a point where first it started off as the house in Italy, as a little girl, I wanted to live in Italy, but turning that into my life, not just a piece of it, but an all-encompassing part of my life. So my extraordinary life is my dolce vita lifestyle. It's embracing this lifestyle on every aspect with love, with my career and what I choose to do every day with circles of friends and how I choose to live and embrace this lifestyle from the mundane of going to the medicato every morning to buy my groceries to running my business out of Italy and and and bringing women here to experience it. So for me, it's the all-inclusiveness of this lifestyle. It's not work and play and social and family, it's all together as one. And that's what I think makes it so beautiful for me here.

SPEAKER_02

I love it. It's so much of your being, not just your doing.

SPEAKER_00

Right, exactly. It's part of me in every aspect.

SPEAKER_02

I love that. Well, Paula, thank you so much for joining me today.

SPEAKER_00

Michelle, thank you so much for this opportunity. It was great to talk with you.

SPEAKER_02

All right, everyone, until next time, go and live your extraordinary life.

Closing And Listener Requests

SPEAKER_02

Thank you for listening to today's episode. If you enjoyed this podcast episode, please take a moment to rate and review. If you have recommendations for future topics, please reach out to me at Michelle RiosOfficial.com. Lastly, please consider supporting this podcast by sharing it. Together, we can reach, inspire, and positively impact more people. Thank you.

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Michelle Rios

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