Live Your Extraordinary Life With Michelle Rios

You Built the Life — So Why Doesn't It Feel Like Yours? with Angie Leitnaker

• Michelle Rios

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Your brain can say “I’m ready,” but if your body doesn’t feel safe, it will quietly steer you back to the old familiar life. That’s why this conversation with Angie Leitnaker hit so deep for us. Angie is a coach, speaker, educator, and former first grade teacher who blends science, soul, and strategy, and she has a gift for making big personal development ideas feel simple enough to use today.

We dig into how authenticity gets buried early through conditioning, stored beliefs, and the subconscious “filing cabinets” we pick up from family, school, and culture. Angie shares how grief became her doorway into personal growth and why purpose isn’t something you “find,” it’s something you cultivate through what you live through. One definition we keep coming back to: purpose sits at the intersection of what breaks your heart most and what lights your soul on fire.

Then we connect manifestation, the law of attraction, and universal laws with nervous system regulation, somatics, EFT, and mindset work. If your affirmations feel fake, it may be because your physiology is calling BS. We talk about building a real energetic container, why “feeling is the secret,” and how shifting self-identity changes what you can hold, receive, and create. We also challenge the old programming that says it must be hard to be valid, and we close with a practical invitation to follow the next nudge even when you don’t know the how.

Subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, and if this helped you, share it with a friend and leave a quick rating and review. What’s one belief you’re ready to put “under new management”?

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SPEAKER_00

This episode of the Live Your Extraordinary Life podcast is brought to you by Transformational Coaching with Michelle Rios, created for high achievers just like you, who've checked all the boxes yet still wonder, is this really it? You've built success, but deep down you're craving more, more meaning, more freedom, more joy. You're ready for your next chapter. One that feels fully aligned, deeply fulfilling, and unapologetically yours. Through my transformational coaching, I'll help you break free from the patterns and beliefs keeping you stuck, clarify your vision for life and business in this next chapter of life, build unshakable confidence and self-trust, align your mindset, energy, and actions so success feels authentic and easeful, and create extraordinary results without sacrificing yourself along the way. If you're done playing small and you're ready to rise, visit Michelle RiosOfficial.com backslash coaching to learn more and apply. Your extraordinary life is waiting. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_02

It's oftentimes those squeezes that are actually the launch pad for what our purpose is. So, you know, people ask me all the time, like, how do I find my purpose? And I don't think purpose is something that we find. I think it's something that we cultivate and nurture through our life experiences. And I always say, it's to me, your purpose is the intersection of the thing that breaks your heart the most and the thing that lights your soul on fire.

What “Extraordinary” Actually Means

SPEAKER_01

So if you're ready to step off the sidelines and start creating a life you truly love, welcome. Your extraordinary life begins now. Welcome back to another episode of the Live Your Extraordinary Life podcast. I'm your host, Michelle Rios, and this week we are talking with my dear friend Angie Leitniker. And Angie just has, well, let me tell you, a multi-purpose background that you are gonna fall in love with. She is a coach, she's a speaker, an educator, and she's a global movement maker, and she's gonna tell us all about that. But she wants to help people really alchemize their limitations, master themselves, and create a life of freedom, fun, and deep fulfillment. She has over a decade of professional experience coaching, and she has a background that blends science, soul, and strategy. And she guides her clients of all ages to live authentically, wholeheartedly, and leave a legacy that they're proud of. With that, Angie, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you so much, Michelle. I love any excuse to hang out with you.

SPEAKER_01

Ah, same here. Okay, I have to start with where I start with all my guests, Angie. And that is, what does it mean to you to live your extraordinary life?

SPEAKER_02

I think for me, it is creating a life that's by design for you. So before you and I, you know, press record, we were even talking about how human design might integrate into that. And we were speaking about how so often we go through life using another person's blueprint on how we should live. So someone might say, block your calendar, do this, do this. And meanwhile, our soul's like, ah. And so I feel like it's really peeling back the layers of beliefs and stories and limitations to live a life that feels as good as it looks.

How We Lose Authenticity Early

SPEAKER_01

The stove tells so nicely. You're doing all the work for me here, Angie. We just did an episode that aired on the importance of authenticity and alignment and why it is that we often feel off. And I shared in that episode the fact that really starting around the age seven until midlife, I was really living out of alignment. And it wasn't that I didn't have an awakened moment. I had many, in fact. And I was definitely having moments of clarity, but I didn't yet have the courage to take the brave steps to follow what my soul was telling me. I went down a very traditional path, as you know, and rising up through the whole corporate arena and what have you. And I'm curious, you have this early childhood background, you were a school teacher for many, many years. Tell me about when all of this forms and when we start to lose our authenticity and get out of alignment.

Grief As The Turning Point

SPEAKER_02

Oh my goodness, Michelle, I could talk to you for five hours on this very topic. This is my greatest passion in life. So you're exactly right. Most of us, from the time we're really young, we start taking on other people's filing cabinets, if you will. So the filing cabinets of our families, the filing cabinets of our teachers. And we store those in our body, in our subconscious mind the majority of our lives. And so you're not unique to that, right? Where so many of us, we just don't even question why we do what we do. We just do it because that's the way it's always been done. And so by age seven or eight, most of our paradigms are created and the lid of our subconscious mind essentially goes on. And unless we go through some of these moments that you're speaking of, or unless we go have the courage to take the lid off of that subconscious mind, if you will, and sort through do I want to keep these beliefs? Do I want to keep these stories? Do I want to keep those narratives? That is the operating system for our entire lives. And so I actually found this work through deep grief. So I was a school teacher. I thought I was gonna teach till I was 105. I loved it so much. But in 2009, I lost a bunch of people in my family in a very short time. It started with my dad and then several family members. And through that time of like deep grief, I quickly realized that we as humans have very few tools on how to human. Like we learn reading, we learn writing, we learn arithmetic, we learn social, we learn all of these things, but we don't really learn how to human. What do you do with these emotions that you're experiencing? What even are they? We don't learn how to use our minds, any of the things. And so through that journey, I found personal development. And it was as if I literally, Michelle, I felt like I'd been sleepwalking through my whole life. Like very outside in living. Like if life circumstances blew the leaf happy, then I'd be happy. And if life circumstances blew the leaf not happy, I'd be not happy. Very outside, and I think most of us are very conditioned and programmed to live that way. And so I found this whole world of these mentors and teachers and guides and people who had lived the opposite recipe. They changed, they started living inside out, and their lives started to change. And I was like, wait a minute, and it'd be book after book after book. You and I share this in common. We both, you know, eat personal development for breakfast. And so it was like they weren't unique. Like these stories, these people were changing everything by changing the inside. And certainly not a linear journey, but it's been this evolution of peeling back the layers and going, wait a minute, what would happen if we didn't spend an entire lifetime, I say, with temporary amnesia of our inherent worthiness or inherent greatness, our inherent gifts are inherent inherent, meaning we were born with them. And for a period of time, we knew that we were this. And then through the filing cabinets, as I say, through the viruses in our brain or our stories or narratives, we bought into different beliefs. But what's so cool about this work is at any point in time, like I love your podcasts, right? Somebody could listen to this podcast today and today be like literally the first day of the rest of their lives. Under new management, the narratives could forever change. And so I just found a love for sharing the things I was learning. And that's just been the evolution to, you know, to Sherry.

SPEAKER_01

Tell me a little bit about your own journey. So I wasn't aware that you came to personal development through grief, but I do think, you know, we've talked about this before, that it's often in those moments of the dark night of the soul that we get pulled to our knees that we actually turn inward and start to question you know, is this all there is? Is there something more? Is there a different way? And that's when we start to remember that we inherently have worth and that we are spiritual beings on a human path and going through this. But tell me a little bit about your authenticity walk because you were, I would say, presumably happy teaching a first grade to these adorable, I think it's one of my favorite ages. Oh, it's the best age, yeah. Right? They're curious, they're hungry, they still love school.

SPEAKER_02

Like they love school, they think everything's fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I mean, they're just vivacious and so delicious age. But tell me a little bit about the path then for you, because I think we all go through those of us that have come over to personal development consumption before we teach. There is that path. So tell me a little bit about how you found this calling because you are very much on a mission to bring personal development, nervous system regulation, how to human to the littlest of humans.

Teaching Kids How To Human

SPEAKER_02

You know, life is so cool. And actually, you and I talked about this on my podcast too, because I think what we go through, we really do grow through. And I think each one of those experiences becomes a little cookie crumble that leads us to the next step, that leads us to the next step, that leads us to the next step. So for me, finding this whole world that I didn't know existed, I realized how ill-equipped I was as a teacher and how ill-equipped we are as humans. Here we're supposed to be the adults having all the answers. And suddenly it was super clear to me that I didn't. Like there were 72 hours, Michelle, where I was like, how do I get out of bed? Like I am so engulfed in grief. I don't have a tool. Like, what do I do? You know? Through that journey, I started to just try on for size things that I was learning. Like, okay, you read about Les Brown, let's try this on. You read from Wayne Dyer, let's try it on. You read from, and so what started to happen is I would literally wake up in the middle of the night. Again, I thought I was gonna teach for the rest of my life. It never one time crossed my mind that I wasn't gonna be a teacher, ever. And I started to wake up in the middle of the night. It would come to me that I wanted to be an empowerment coach. My husband wasn't even my husband at the time, but I one day I was like, Hank, I think I need to be an empowerment coach or something. And he's like, What's an empowerment coach? And I'm like, I have no idea. I Googled it, I couldn't find one, but like it was starting to wake me up. And, you know, they say that the calling keeps calling till you answer.

SPEAKER_01

Till you answer. That's right.

SPEAKER_02

I would just wake up in the middle of the night and I would do these meditations or whatever, and I would just start writing things and never once thought, like, I never thought about coaching up until this point. And so I had a girlfriend at the time that I was sharing these things with. We'd go on these hikes and I was teaching first grade, and she was working with people in hospice at the end of their lives. And so we were just sharing these things that we were learning. She was into personal development too. I was into personal development. And I remember this one day walking with her up the mountain, and I was like, oh my gosh, like the recipe is the same whether you are four or a hundred and four. Like these things that we were learning, she was talking about like applying it to people late in their lives, like at the end of their lives. And I was talking about how kids could apply these things, right? Like their thoughts become things and all of this stuff. And so I was like, hey, have you ever been to a retreat before? She's like, nope, have you? And I'm like, no, you want to host one? And she's like, sure. So we had a lake house at the time and we hosted a women's retreat, and I thought that'd be one and done. And people, everybody there said, When's your next one? I'd love to invite my sister, my whatever. And so I fell in love with holding these containers where people just transformed. They changed form. They came in one person with these beliefs, and all we were doing was sharing the things we were learning. And so I was as surprised as everybody else. Like, I'm like, oh my gosh, like people are changing. It works. It works. I was watching though, Michelle, so wild because we would play these activities, like, who are you? And they would say, like, I'm a mom, I'm a sister, like all these roles, all these paradigms, all these things that they like put on. And I could literally watch them share their stories of how they were children and had these dreams, these ambitions, these goals, these strengths, these entrepreneurial that like all these things they love to do. And I could watch how they'd go through this spell of life where they would forget. And all I could think of is what if we taught this to kids? Because they were all kids once that didn't have all these stories. What would happen if we taught it to kids that then they didn't have these stories? Anyway, that was sort of like the evolution. But with that, I think so often people go into personal development. Like once I get there, once I figure it all out, once everything works. And I think the goal is not to get to the point where everything in our life is rainbows and butterflies and wonderful, although it will be, the more that we align with our heart's desires, the more we get in alignment with our soul, the more we get in alignment with universal laws, the more, sure, life gets much more magical. But I think the real invitation is how can we create a container that when the storms of life come, the ship doesn't sink. And so there have been some squeezes since then in times in life where I got squeezed. And it was through that then it uncovered the next iteration or the next part of my passion. This whole passion for nervous system regulation came after I lost my mentor had passed away from suicide. And I was like, oh my gosh, like it's not enough to just know things mentally. We've got to teach people how to create a container. And so then I spent almost two years, not quite, knee deep in studying somatics and nervous system regulation, but it was from that squeeze. And so all of this to say, like, we all have these journeys, right? We all have these cookie crumbles of things where we get a test and then we dig deeper and we learn more, and then we go through life, and then that leaves the next clue. Then we can look back in retrospect and say that led to that, that led to that, that led to that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's spot on. And I think this is really important for everyone listening to just kind of think about in your own life those moments where there was great dissonance and there's friction and resistance because that's really important feedback. That's likely a space and a place that you need to examine and understand where it is that your authenticity and your alignment are actually not syncing up. More than likely, you are living one truth that is really not vibing with what your deepest desires really are. And that's the work. You know, the whole work that we're talking about here is being able to know it, what it is that you're here to do, what your purpose is. And we all have that, but that work starts with understanding what is it that I want? What is it that I want to do, have, and experience during this human life I have. And then how are my actions and my choices and my decisions on a daily basis supporting or negating that? And that's where you're gonna find the friction and where you're gonna find the rub. Angie's point, the more we can reconcile and align, the more you're gonna find you're at peace and that you are finding things go much easier. And that is that inside out approach to living.

SPEAKER_02

No, no, go ahead. I was just gonna say, you know, to that point, also, I think it's oftentimes those squeezes that are actually the launch pad for what our purpose is. So, you know, people ask me all the time, like, how do I find my purpose? And I don't think purpose is something that we find. I think it's something that we cultivate and nurture through our life experiences. And I always say it's to me, your purpose is the intersection of the thing that breaks your heart the most and the thing that lights your soul on fire. And there's this intersection. So it's like, what do you want to change about the world? What are your gifts and what are the things that you could talk about all day or do all day or whatever? Where that intersection is is often where our purpose lies. And a lot of times that comes from going through things that an old version of you grows through.

Nervous System And Manifestation

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think a hundred percent. You know, a lot of people, and we have this conversation a lot in the coaching space that it's often that that's caused you the most pain that becomes the jumping off point of what you came here to teach or what you came here to heal, what you came here to do, or evangelize, or whatever it is. But oftentimes we think, oh, once I get past that, I can figure out what it really is. No, it's usually that thing that you've been going through. And, you know, I think a lot of people say suffering through. The reality is it's through that story, through that experience that you have something then to share. It's always quite, I find ironic that the universe often finds our darkest points of our life or the hardest things that we've gone through become the things where purpose is often rooted. Because if you've gone through it or you've transformed through it or you've lived through it, then you're gonna be able to guide somebody else through it one way or another or teach about it. Let's talk a little bit about nervous system regulation because I do think you've done the somatic work, I think you've done EFT, if I'm not mistaken. Yes, you have, and NLP, and you and I love to talk about law of attraction and law of resonance and law of duality. And I think this audience in general is very primed to understanding manifestation. And yet, I think where a lot of us get stuck in manifestation, dissociating the fact that oftentimes our nervous system is not in the place to actually manifest, and that that which we want to experience, do, or have is at a frequency that we are not vibrating at in that moment. So let's talk a little bit about nervous system regulation and how it works with, for example, law of attraction and manifestation.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, for sure. I love to talk about this. And I like to make it really simple. I think probably the first grade teacher and me likes to 101 everything, but just from a very basic perspective, all of us, we all have a conscious mind and we all have a subconscious mind. There's nobody exempt from this. And our subconscious mind is our emotional mind. And so if we can think of it as like everything from our ears down is our subconscious mind. So if you've ever heard the saying like the body keeps score or feelings buried alive never die, what that means when I was talking about the filing cabinet, the filing cabinet is not in our brains. The filing cabinet is in our physiology, our emotional mind. So, what happens a lot of times with manifestation is we're attempting to use our 5% cognitive mind, our 5% thinking mind, our 5% conscious mind, when the law of vibration is the language of the universe. And we are energy. Everything in our life is energy. The mic is energy, the computer's energy, you are energy, I'm energy. We each have an energetic field. And so a lot of times what we're doing, well, first of all, we are always manifesting. I always think it's funny when people go, I'm manifesting today. I'm manifesting this. And I'm like, you legit are manifesting every single day of your life. You are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever not manifesting. We are energetic beings, and so we are always vibrating. It's a universal law. So to understand law of vibration, law of frequency, law of attraction is just like saying, I'm going to use the law of gravity today. It's like whether we understand gravity or not, like we don't get to choose whether or not we're going to use it today. So the law of gravity is always in effect, same as law of frequency, law of vibration, law of attraction. When we can create a container, so oftentimes what's happening is we're cognitively saying, I would like this, I desire this, which, hey, look, you're already winning because you're at least setting an intention. You're getting clarity out of contrast, the squeezes that we were just talking about actually creates clarity. So there's a law of duality. So the contrast actually helps us create clarity. That's good. You create clarity with your 5% conscious mind. But then the real invitation becomes okay, can you create an energetic container in your physiology that is going to be an alignment for the magnet that you are calling in? So let's say we don't feel safe in our body. Let's say we don't feel worthy, but we're calling in a romantic relationship, or we're calling in an amazing career or financial success. But down here we are resonating in our physiology of lack, not enough. Again, much of the belief systems and the thorns that were created when we were. Age seven and under. Okay. So we are vibrating on the frequency, oftentimes, of beliefs that were created before we even had a say in it. So now we're calling things in, but because the law of vibration is always in effect, the magnets have to match. And so when we're creating a physiology, it is creating safety. So this is what somatics says. It moves the energy. The biggest thing to understand about our subconscious mind or our emotional mind is emotion is energy and motion. It is meant to move. But since many of us were not taught this when we were very young, what we did was we suppressed, which is the exact opposite of express. So because we didn't express, we suppressed. And so all of these bottled up emotions stayed stored in our body. And so now as grown adults, we're saying, hey, I'd love to create this, I'd love to manifest this, I'd love to attract this. Now the real work is creating a physiology that can hold it. So often what happens is this is where self-sabotage comes in, right? Because we don't have that container. And so I feel like in the work of law of attraction and manifestation, this should be numero uno of things that we're working on is let's A start with our physiology, our beliefs, our programming, our paradigms, our emotions, creating a safety in there. And then let's add in the vision boards, and then let's add in the visualizations, and then let's add in all of the other practices that are really helpful.

SPEAKER_01

I think this is so critically important. And Andy, when you talk about creating a container, I think people outside of the personal development space often get tripped up when we talk about this. It's also very similar to saying being at the right frequency or being at the frequency or vibration of that which you wish to experience. If we're not in congruence with that, we're just not going to be a match. And you can't hold it, right? That's the reality. I think just trying to demystify this idea of the container we're creating. Talk a little bit more about that.

SPEAKER_02

To your point, I think this is what I did. So I'm speaking of me. So I learned about law of attraction and manifestation from a very conscious level. So I made the vision boards, I did the affirmations. And so let's just say that in your body, you don't feel worthy. You don't feel worthy of your dreams, of your desires on your heart. You don't feel safe to hold it. Let's say, okay, I see this in network marketing a lot. Somebody's like, I want to make it to the top of the company. It's like awesome. But they have all of these wonky, wobbly beliefs of I would let people down, I failed a million times, I tried it, didn't work, nobody would follow me. I'm not a leader. I hear that all the time. I'm like, okay, so you're asking to be a leader and make it to the top of the company, but you have a program that I wouldn't let people down. Do we see how when you're saying an affirmation, your subconscious, your container, your body, your emotional mind is calling BS on it. It's like pressing the BS button, BS, BS, BS. So you're saying something that is not in harmony with what it is that you're asking. So we do some somatics, we peel back the layers, we do some EFT, we rewrite the stories, we rewrite the narratives, we rewrite the nervous system blueprint, we create a sense of safety and I am a leader. You anchor into that. Then you add on the affirmations and you're not sending out two different signals. It's not like a waiter at the restaurant, you're like, I want, you know, tacos. No, no, no, I want steak. No, no, no, no, I want pizza. That's what we're doing oftentimes when we're asking for things that we don't feel in resonance with. And so the nervous system work is so important because then when we send a message, we place the order for what it is that we're seeking. We have an energy that will, because the language of life is energy, we are in an energy that is in resonance with the words that we're speaking, which are energy. It's all a vibrational match, right?

SPEAKER_01

It's so important. I want to stay on this point for a minute. If you are in the process of trying to make a change in your life, and what you're feeling on a physical level, on a physiological level, as Angie is talking about, is more lack or not worthy or what have you. And that isn't going to get you to where you need to be. The work that has to happen, even if in the beginning it feels a little uncomfortable, is to actually work the subconscious mind into getting to a better place. And I do think, again, we've talked about this before, the mind doesn't know when we're doing affirmations or that kind of work, whether we're lying to it or not. It'll believe what we tell it over and over again, which is why we get into these patterns in the first place. And some of the easiest work in shifting that frequency and vibration is simply talking as if that which you want to do, have or experience is already present in your life. And a lot of people miss this, but it is a very straightforward approach. And so we've done this over many, many years. We're very, very lucky that we ran into coaching. Gosh, my husband and I have been married 21 years now. So going back 20 years, we worked with a coach individually for me and then together as a couple. And I remember some of the early work around finances. And we were able to double and triple and quadruple our income after doing the work around, I am so grateful now that I have the financial abundance I need to feel safe and to proceed in life with all of our goals and you know, so on and so forth. And we kept doing that for a while before we actually put in the request for some of these financial jumps. And when we had been doing it so that we were really calming our nervous systems down and feeling confident, yeah, we're already in a good financial place. We already have everything we need, we're already able to do all the things we want to do. It's already here. Then when we put in the request for that, what we want to experience, it was almost like an automatic. Well, of course, it's already here. It's already part of your physiology. Your cells believe it. Deep resonance already. It wasn't that mismatch that often happens. Or like, oh, wouldn't it be nice? And you're in the space of wishful thinking. Again, it's a small thing, but don't underestimate the importance of something like this, of being able to really train your subconscious into feeling safe and being in a place of relaxing into that new frequency that you want to occupy.

SPEAKER_02

Well, and that's what's so cool about life and our hardware that we all have is you know, you can use your same imagination for things that I'm sure everybody's done this, right? You have one negative thought and you like you panic. But then the same imagination, the same thought energy can be used towards the things that light your soul on fire. You can imagine, we always say, what if in the right direction? You what if everything's working out? What if the better it gets, the better it gets? What if, what if the better we can use that same thought energy. And so, to your point, you're exactly right. If we could just understand that the I say the cheat code, but the code is that feeling is the secret. And so we don't ever want the things. We want the feelings that we think those things will bring. Well, what's so awesome about that is you don't need the things that feel feelings. And so you can literally start feeling those feelings now. So you want the financial freedom, what does that feel like in your body? You want the loving relationship, what does that feel like in your body? You want the healthy, vibrant energy, what does that feel like in your body? And you can use that same exact thought energy that you would use for fear, doubt, and worry. And you can channel it from love, joy, abundance, all the things. And so, again, putting yourself in that energetic vibration of feeling what it would feel like when it's already done.

SPEAKER_01

I love that. That is the cheat code. That is that is it. And you just gave you all the secret to the universe, guys. So, you know, it and it's true. If you were able to get yourself into that state of thinking so that you can feel on a cellular level, what is it like to feel fill in the blank financially free? I mean, my shoulders just relax telling you that, like just saying that out loud, because then there's no worry. Okay, so if I'm not worried because I'm financially free and I can do have and experience all that my heart's desires, then I can act on that space. And then you take that one step, which goes to that cookie crumble trail that we were creating, which leads to the next very intentional step you take. And I think it builds that confidence, right? As you go. And so then there you are. You're acting as if you're operating in that field of vibration, as if it's already here. So when you put that order in after doing this work, sitting with this work, I think we can collapse time here. This isn't something that you need to be doing for years before you look, weeks, days. I'm telling you, we've done this on many occasions, and everyone's always like, How did you make that happen? I was like, same way made the last thing happen, right? With great intention, and we're very careful about how we talk. I act from a place of gratitude, and we're always speaking in the present tense. I never say when, if, as soon as that happens. It that's like always in process of arriving. It's I'm so grateful now that it's here right now, and then you can kind of feel your way into that new vibration. And that's the cheat code. That's the cheat code for manifestation, everybody.

SPEAKER_02

Well, and from a quantum perspective, it is done. It really is. I always say it's anything that I request, I tell my husband it's in spiritual escrow. Like it is, it's already from a quantum perspective, there. It's just catching up into the 3D. So if you think about it, anything that was ever created was first created in thought energy. Everything, the house that you're living in, the office that you have, like every single thing was first thought energy. It was 5D, 4D, then 3D. And so just the same way with your dreams, all the things they're in spiritual escrow, they're in thought energy until they crystallize into the 3D plane. And so you're not just speaking these like I would throw words around like hotcakes. It's not that. You're literally creating it into the physical plane through your words, through your imagination, through your thought energy, through all of these modalities that you're utilizing. And so, you know, when you think of it that way, like the architect thought it before even putting it on paper. Your dreams are the same exact way. They are thought energy before they are made manifest in the 3D plane. And so it's very cool.

The House Story And Easy Flow

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I, you know, so many athletes use this. I'm a big New England Patriots, you know, historical fan, and then Tampa Bay because my number 12 Tom Brady played on it. But he talks about this. He watched every play before it happened in his mind, and he would play it over and over and over again, making the play, making the play. And then it happens, Eric, on the field. Like we experienced this with our house. We had been, you know, we live outside of Washington, DC in Northern Virginia, one of the most expensive markets in the country. And about 10 years ago or so, we started looking for a single family home. We had been living in a townhome, beautiful brick, three-level townhome where we were raising our son, and we wanted more space. And we started looking, and it was tough. It was not a great market. We saw probably a hundred homes, and we finally made an offer on one, and everything felt heavy. Everything felt stressful, everything felt very like didn't quite fit. It wasn't quite us. And we didn't quite understand how all of this worked yet. And so we were pushing our way through finding a house, and it literally felt like slugging our way through the experience. And lo and behold, we did find a house, we did put an offer on it, and at the 11th hour, it all fell apart because we couldn't hold it, it wasn't meant for us. Little did we know. We stopped, we put the whole process on hold for a year, a full year. We've gone through heartbreak on this process. It's exhausting, it's draining, we're done. And we took a break from it, and the interesting thing that happened is we just started to enjoy and be grateful for what we had. We still had our dreams, but we just let them be for a little bit. And we stayed in this place of fun. And lo and behold, just for fun, just for pretend, about a year later, not quite, maybe nine months later, we went out one Sunday. No stress about it. Let's not stress. We're just pretending. We bought the first house we saw in the just pretending mode. Brand new house was not even what we were thinking. We were thinking we were gonna have to renovate an older home. Brand new house, never been lived in. We were the first people to walk in, and my son walked in. He's like, I can see myself playing here. I can see our dogs in the yard. And I was like, I can see myself in this kitchen and buy this fireplace. We were just playing, and we walked out knowing it was out of our price range. And I said, What if we figured this out? What just I wasn't stressed about it, but I was just what if? And lo and behold, my husband said, You know what? Let's make some phone calls. We made some phone calls to our financial advisor who was like, guys, you can afford this. You were still thinking like it was two or three years ago when you started this process. You're in a different place now. You can totally afford this house. Go do it. And we did. And all of a sudden, we're in this house. It was easy, it required no stress at all. We were playing, we were literally running around playing in the house. Can you imagine like us holding our annual holiday party here, having our friends over? And now it's become the epicenter of where so many gatherings happened, just like we had pretended it could be. You and that easy.

SPEAKER_02

It's supposed to be that easy. Our human loves to kink the hose, doesn't it? It's like we love to insert all of this resistance, and that's the energy of attraction, right? The energy of play, the energy of joy. That's our innate, that's our natural energy. The other fear, the doubt, the worry, the frustration like that's all programming. That's all kinking the hose.

The Five Es Framework

SPEAKER_01

And so Yeah, just on that point, if you grew up, like I think many of you have, with this idea that in order for it to work, it must be hard. Let it go. It's time to let it go. You were today years old when you learned it's okay to let that go. It can be easy. And not only can it be easy, it should be easy. You should be in this flow state as you're doing it. And so many of us put the yoke on thinking it has to be hard to be valid. If it isn't hard, it isn't worth it. And these are old programming guys. I want to follow up because I know you have your five E's. Let's talk about the five E's and how they are the cheat code because it just builds on this conversation we've been having.

SPEAKER_02

So the first one is expanding awareness and the to what we were actually just talking about. I feel like so often we go through life like we are in this dense forest and we cannot see beyond it. It's like, Michelle, I'm just stuck. I can't see anywhere. And I always tell my clients, climb the tree. Like there's always a higher perspective. And perhaps you climb the tree and then you're like, oh my gosh, there's this beautiful clearing right to your right. Just climb over that one little bush and you'll see there's a beautiful clear path. And so there's always a higher perspective available a hundred percent of the time. 24-7, 365, there is a higher perspective. So expanding our awareness is first and foremost to realize, okay, my human might only see it this way, but I know that there's more. Second is to elevate our mindset. And I added a little another E in here with excavating our beliefs is the best way to elevate our mindset because so often we are attempting to build a home on a wobbly foundation in quicksand of old beliefs that are not going to align with that which we're seeking. And so elevating our mindset means, okay, let's start sorting through the filing cabinet. And I tell this story all the time. It's a silly analogy, but it's so true. Have you heard the roast story?

SPEAKER_01

No, tell me.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so there was this lady, I'll give it in a short version, but there is this lady who is making this roast for a big family gathering. And so she had this big huge pot and she chopped both ends off of the roast. And someone asked her, they're like, Hey, why do you chop both ends off of the roast? And she's like, Oh my gosh, I never questioned it. What my mom did. So they go to the mom and they're like, She's like, Mom, why do we chop both ends off the roast? I don't even know. And she's like, that's a great thought. I've never questioned it. It's because my mom did it. So they go to the mom, grandma and they're like, Grandma, why do you chop both ends off the roast? She's like, oh my gosh, like I've done it my whole life. I don't know. Like my mom did it. So they go to great grandma and they're like, Great grandma, why did you chop both ends off the roast? She's like, Oh, honey, because I only had a pot this big and it's the only way it fit. And so all these decades, they're wasting all of this delicious meat, and they never questioned why they did it because it's just the way it's always been done. And so for us, it's so true. So many times we're living lives that are from a pot in the Great Depression where that was all they had, or we have caveman beliefs just trying to keep us safe when we're in a whole new era, we're in a whole new life, we're in a whole new experience. We don't have to chop both ends off the roast. We have a big pot. And so I tell people like, let's start sorting through that filing cabinet. Which ones do you want to keep? Do you want to keep this belief or do you not want to keep this belief? And if you don't, would it now be a good time to restart? And that's why I love even just someone listening to a podcast. It could literally be like this. They could be listening to your podcast today and they're like, oh my gosh, awareness, expanding awareness, right? Elevating mindset. They excavate their old beliefs. I no longer want to operate like this anymore. Holidays are a perfect time. I've had so many talks with clients who are like, I go to 17 places because like it's all of these families, and I buy all this. I'm so stressed about buying. And I'm like, do you want to do it that way? And they're like, no. And I'm like, did it ever cross your mind that you don't have to do it the way it's always been done? Like you really don't. So then the third one is enhancing self-identity. So we will never outperform our own self-concept, our own self-identity. And this is why it's the middle E, because it is the center, it is the foundation of which everything else grows. If someone tells me anything that they want in their life, I first get to figure out, like for all of us, is there our self-concept a vibrational match to that? So you want really great friendships. Do you feel like you're a great friend? Do you feel like you can trust yourself to be a great friend? Do you want a great relationship? Do you feel like you're love already? Like, are you the magnetism for love? Like whatever it is. So understanding we'll never outperform our own self-identity is such a foundational piece.

SPEAKER_01

If you've never- That this one's huge, guys, because I think there are a lot of people who have grown up with the belief that you have to be very humble and modest, and that's fine, but you have to believe in yourself. And I think that there's this unwritten rule that somehow if you believe in yourself, you're being arrogant, or if you have a lot of strong confidence in yourself, somehow you're not being modest enough, or you're not being humble enough. And they are not one and of the same. They do not negate each other. There has to be a really strong foundation in what you're capable of, what's possible for you. And if that doesn't exist as a strong foundation, it is really going to prevent you from being able to move up and evolve the way you want to. And so that's a lot of people, a lot of the work is around self confidence and self-esteem and what people believe is possible because that's the wound, right? That's the early wound, or somebody said something or did something that made them doubt themselves. And it's been this perpetual issue for them that if only I had more. Confidence. If only I believed in myself more. You can't but believe in your unlimited nature and power because you are one with the source and you are part of the divine, and we are all interconnected, not just to each other, but to source. You are from the source. And so your unlimited nature is something that you have to start to really get comfortable with. That a lot of the feelings of inadequacy come from the mind, right? They're the lies that the mind tells us. The brain keeps us safe. And so it will lie to keep us small.

Identity Confidence And Old Programming

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you're so right. This is something that I have actively worked on, like with intention, you know, coming from a small town. I was a first grade teacher. My husband was a seventh-generation farmer. And both of our families, like, be humble, like, and so it was a real knockdown, drag out fight inside of me, you know, because there was this part of me that was like had these big dreams and these big aspirations, but I almost felt like I was selfish for pursuing them in some ways. I was like, I should just should, right? We should all over ourselves. I should just be a first grade teacher. I should just be happy with this. Should be grateful that I have this, right? Yeah, yeah. And so it was really a conflict for me for quite some time. After one of our big squeezes, my husband wanted to pursue the restaurant industry. And so he was like seventh generation farmer. Like, people don't understand giving that up. Like, they do not get that. And his soul was like, I really want to own my own restaurant. And so he pursued that. And we literally like packed our entire lives from Ohio up. We moved to Florida to pursue these dreams. And you have to come to peace with the fact that like not everybody's going to understand, and it's not their job too. So I mean, so like, why would you ever, you know, do that? And this is when the authenticity of like, you've got to have your inner North Star that's like, I'm going to stay true to me, to my visions, to my goal, to my dreams, knowing just what you said. It's not about me. It's all the people whose lives I can impact by staying true to that. Sure, I could have stayed in the old world and not listen to my inner knowingness. But again, that knock will keep knocking until you answer. And so the invitation is really to start listening to that and following when it says, go this way, do this, listen to this. And you've got to just trust that with every fiber of your being. And I really feel like God, universe, or spirit, when you start to listen, it's like, she's listening, keep going, like she's here for it, you know, and then you get the next one, and then you get the next one. And there's an amazing book called The Game of Life and How to Play It. And you really start to feel like I really feel like we are playing the most wondrous game here. And it's like you listen to that nudge, and then this happens, and then this encounter, and then this connection, and you explore it, and you get another nudge. You're like, I don't know where this is going, but let's follow it. And then you go to the and so you start to play the game of life that way, but it does ask you to stay true to yourself and just discover, uncover what your true identity is outside of the roles and the stories and the paradigms and the programs and the conditioning. I think I shared that with you, Michelle. Like the average kid by the time they are three years old has heard no 60,000 times. The inner critic has been created by the age four and five years old. We already have that. So if we imagine whoever's listening to this right now, you have had a story for that however many X amount of years that you've walked this planet where you've had that inner critic or you've heard no so many times and it became a program. But today can be the start of wait a minute under new management. Like we're not listening to those anymore. We're gonna create new. And then, you know, everything evolves from there. So identity is a huge part of the work.

SPEAKER_01

Identity is everything. It really is if you do not step into the identity of that which you want to experience to or have, it's not gonna happen. You have to really assume that identity before it even happens. It's that Wayne Dyer quote, the I'll believe it when I see it. Yeah, we used to say, I'll believe it when I see it. And he was like, Nope, you'll see it when you believe it. And I remember early when I picked up the book, it was pull your own strings. And I read it and I thought, Oh, there's an error. The editor, the publisher made an error in here, and nope, it was very deliberate. When you believe it feverently, like and deep in your bones, you're gonna see it, it's gonna start popping up for you. Life rises to meet you to the you know, equivalent of what your belief is. And I think that that's just so ingenious because it really turns that whole, I'll believe it when I see it, right on its head and allows us to step into this place of the quantum and recognizing that that which we want already wants us more than we want it. If we're gonna want it to do it.

SPEAKER_02

If it wasn't available, you wouldn't want it. There are some people they're like, I couldn't imagine wanting to start a podcast. And Michelle's like, I love doing podcasts. It's like that dream wouldn't have been on her heart unless it was for her. And so people ask, how do I know that something's for me? Well, is it a dream on your heart? Yes, okay, then pursue that because there are other people who could care less about personal development. Like, this is not their jam. For you and I, we're like, yeah, all of it, right? And so life is always leaving clues for you. What's pulling you forward? What lights you up? What do you want to do? And then again, believe that it's for you, or you would not have the nudge.

Follow The Nudge Not The How

SPEAKER_01

And it's really important because I think a lot of people get tripped up here, but I don't know how to do it. And we say this over and over again relax about the how, you just know what it is, and you follow the next concrete step. It didn't say that it was gonna happen in five minutes, it just said follow the next step and follow the next step and be true to that because it can happen quickly, but sometimes things have to align outside of you in order for it to happen. Just stick with it. You know, look, I was on a boat in the middle of the Agency when the call came. I knew I had it on my heart for a really long time that I wanted to do motivational speaking, I wanted to do more inspirational work. Coaching was there on the cusp, but not in the way it has all unfolded. So it was sort of in the background. But the call that I got in the middle of the Agene C on a family vacation was start a podcast. Here was the problem with that, guys. I hadn't listened to a podcast, let alone know how to do a podcast. But it kept coming back. It's time to learn how to do a podcast. It's time to go and do your own podcast. This is a platform, this is a place that you're gonna reach people. This is how it's gonna start. It's gonna start with a podcast. And I couldn't rest. I couldn't rest. And so then that became it. I started searching. I have to learn how to do a podcast. Funny enough, what shows up in my feed? Your turn to podcast. I guess I'm doing this course on podcasting. It felt like the most natural next thing, even though I did not know how. I didn't know any of the mechanics, the equipment, the technology. I didn't even know what I was doing. I just followed. I kept following, and the universe kept rising to meet me everywhere I went where I was like, I don't know how. Oh, well, I guess the universe will tell me if I don't know how. And that's what kept happening. The path kept being made. And so, you know, within six weeks of launching the podcast, we were in the top two percent. So I think it's just sort of that validation of you don't have to know the how. You don't even have to have all the courage yet to do all the steps because you don't even know what all the steps are for whatever it is fill in the blank that you want to experience or do. You just need to follow the calling and the universal take care of the rest.

SPEAKER_02

It's co-creation, co-creation. That is the co part of it, right? It's the ask, believe, take inspired action, receive, but there's like the part where that's the awareness, the the climb the tree. There's a higher perspective view that us humans don't always see. And so it's like that is where faith comes in. You trust that God, universe, source spirit knows the fastest, most direct, amazing route for you. So you get clear, you ask for what you want, you believe with every fiber of your being, including your identity, that it's happening. You take inspired action, those nudges that Michelle was talking about. And then the receptivity part of it is being willing to say this or something better. All right, show me what you got. Let's go. And a way will be made. Out of nothing and out of no way, a way will be made, right? That is the co-creation part. That is the faith. It's believing in the unseen and it's believing that it's already ordered and spiritual, and it's coming. It's just how, when, not your job.

Worthiness Closing And Where To Find Angie

SPEAKER_01

Exactly. Angie, I could sit here all day and continue this conversation hours into the night, but alas, we're gonna wrap here. Any last words for our listeners before we give it a we call it a day?

SPEAKER_02

I guess my biggest thing is believe that everything is divine and that you're listening to this for a reason. There's a million things you could be doing right now, but for whatever reason you listened to an hour episode here. And so follow whatever the next nudge tells you to do and just start playing in the game of life and know, like you know, like you know, all my clients say this and it we sound like a cult, but you're worthy because you're worthy because you're worthy because you are. And that has zero contingencies. You are worthy because you are born worthy. It's not contingent on any roles, any achievements, any anything. You're worthy because you're worthy because you're worthy because you are. And so if there is a dream on your heart, I invite you to start buying into the belief today that you are worthy of bringing that to life. And you just follow the little cookie crumbs and then come back and let us know what showed up for you and tell us the story in retrospect because we're excited to see you shine.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, a hundred percent. Angie, thank you so much. Let people know where they can find you.

SPEAKER_02

So you can just go to www.cape-global.com or Angie Lightnecker, L-E-I-T-N-A-K-E-R on Facebook. Send me a message, DM, I love it. And then I also have the How to Human podcast that we just recently rebranded, and Michelle was one of my first guests. So tune in to that.

Rate Review Share And Connect

SPEAKER_01

I'm very excited. We'll make sure to have all the links in the show notes as well. Angie, as always, it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you for spending your afternoon with me. Until next time, go and live your extraordinary life. Remember that extraordinary is not something you find, it's something you create. Until next time. Thank you for listening to today's episode. If you enjoyed this podcast episode, please take a moment to rate and review. If you have recommendations for future topics, please reach out to me at Michelle RiosOfficial.com. Lastly, please consider supporting this podcast by sharing it. Together we can reach, inspire, and positively impact more people. Thank you.

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Michelle Rios

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