Diagnosed late with Neurodiversity & Masking

At 53 years old, Dora got diagnosed with Dyslexia and Dyspraxia, both neurodiverse conditions. This masking is common among women or people of color because it is already hard enough getting work with these factors. To add neurodiversity, which is often misperceived as a disability would worsen the odds of getting a job. This mindset needs to change as companies need to understand that although some people learn differently, this doesn't make them less valuable.

An official assessment test was carried out to confirm Dora's dyspraxia/dyslexia and there was a lot of support in place to help her with her work, including a quiet room to work, a unique laptop, and software tailor-made for her neurodiversity, as well as extra time to complete her tests or exams. Oftentimes, neurodiverse people have to do more work to truly perform at their best but this is not a disability. Although the test was strenuous, it was worth it after all.

Oftentimes, neurodiverse people have to do more work to truly perform at their best but this is not a disability. Although the test was strenuous, it was worth it after all. She received the diagnosis with much calmness especially since she had some experience with my diagnosis as her daughter.

For people who suspect that they may have a form of neurodiversity, it is important to take the assessment to confirm and start getting access to tools that can help them perform optimally in all aspects of their lives. Because the tests may be expensive for adults, it is possible to speak to employers or general practitioners to help out with these tests. There is information for support on the UK government website for people who feel they may have neurodiversity.

Resources Mentioned
●      Apply for communication support at a job interview if you have a disability or health condition.
●      Learn more about a coup
●     

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Chapters

• 0:42 Meet today's guest Dora
• 2:34 About Dora's career up till retirement
• 7:21 How the military coup in Ghana shaped Dora's journey.
• 12:14 Combining a career with parenthood.
• 15:51 Dora's diagnosis with Dyslexia and Dyspraxia.
• 24:24 What would you say to people who think they have a neurodiverse condition?
• 26:13 Dora's quick round of questions.

Transcript

Sarah Olaifa: 0:00

Are You Ready? Ready? Ready, ready? Hello, and welcome to divine Enigma, a podcast about how to navigate through the complexities of the workplace as a modern day professional was also having a side hustle simultaneous me. My name is Sarah, your host for the podcast. And this is episode five of the show. This podcast will be available on all platforms, where you can find podcasts, including Spotify, and Apple podcast. Today's episode, we have a special guest on the show. And that guest is my mom. Hi, mom need to come close to the mic, ma'am. Hello,

Unknown: 0:51

Sarah. How are you today? Oh, I'm good. I'm good. And how was your week? Not too bad. Okay. Do you do anything good. This week, more just relaxed. So Mum says you're on the famous divine, divine Enigma pod podcast. Is there any thing you want to talk about in terms of what you're currently doing? What is your current situation? More loving moment? I've just retired. So I'm a lady of leisure. What do you normally do in your day to day, give us a typical day as a retired lady of leisure living in the UK level in London right now where you go to shops, or go for afternoon see? And lunch is that every day or that it's not typical day, but you do not have a typical day. But a typical day is mainly going to the shops and what kinds of shops, the supermarket or market or grocery shopping centres just to browse about. Okay. So you're on the neurodiversity podcast, this podcast talks about working as a professional in the neurodiversity space. And we're going to talk a little bit about your work in history. And a little bit about you, and neurodiversity. So let's give this give the audience a little bit of a picture mum about you know, where was your first job? You know, what did you do? How what was your career, like up to between when you started your first job to now that you're retired lady of Nisha? Well, my first job was a laptop, a lab technician, I was working in a shift lab. And I did that for about five years. And then I came to England, I was actually trading buying and selling. So what year did you come to England? Let's have been since 1978. And then you were just trading goods? What were you buying? clothes or fashion? Clothes. And then when you bought those clothes, you would go back to Ghana and sell there used to sell them as children. Okay, and you make quite a lot of money doing that. Oh, yes. Okay, so did and how long did you do that for? Oh, I did that for about three years. Because when I was working I was still doing during the during the holidays. So just let me explain to the audience basically, my mom was working as a lab technician. And then as I guess what we call side hustles. She was going to the UK you will go to Italy as well. Yeah, so the UK Italy and Wales as you go from Nigeria and Ivory Coast Nigeria. I've because any other countries you went to? Yeah. So she went to those countries, and then she would buy fashion goods. So clothes, yeah, jewellery and things like that. And then she'll come back to Ghana, and then she'll sell them at a profit. Yeah. And you make quite a lot of money was quite lucrative. And you did it. Whilst you're working as a lab technician, what are you doing, like on the weekends, your data or just during the time you took, actually, sometimes, um, I have a long weekend. And I just literally jumped on the plane and go quickly and come back. So you would say maybe picture this in your mind. Maybe you take a plane go on Friday, I guess. Fly to the UK I was in London, you would go to go to London and buy stuff from London. Were there particular places in London where you would buy these? These goods? Oh, yeah, I used to go to friends with back. Buy designer clothes. So when you went to where were you staying when you went to London would stay in a hotel where I used to stay. Friends, or sometimes I stay in a hotel. Okay. And then sometimes, depending on the time I come, there's one particular day I think it was. It was a Tuesday. And normally on Tuesday this way, once I reached a throne, Tuesday morning, I just said the two straight to Finsbury Park, care what I have to go and then go back to the airport and travel back to Ghana on the same day, the same day. Oh, wow. Live the scene, because it's a nice layout. Over for instance, live Ghana. And Monday, evening, rich a Tuesday morning. And then the same plane is going back Tuesday night. Okay, so then once I've got that I needed Yeah, I'll travel back to use our reach going up. Wednesday morning. Ah, and then I'll have a couple of days race. So that was so that was quite intense. Yeah. That was quite intense. Okay. Used to do that once a month. Okay. And you make? Yeah. Okay. You make quite a bit of money just by it. So that was that was in the late 70s. Mid 80s. And then what happened after that point? You said you did that for about three years. You said yeah, they had a military coup in Ghana. So you know, people couldn't go and come all the airports. They the basically the country was very, there was unrest. So nobody could do anything in the army. The army has taken over the country. Okay. Could you explain to the listeners what a coup is? Because some people might not understand when the military government takes over and topple the government, and then they go the start ruling the country. That's basically that's what outcome. What What, what are the implications of a coup d'etat mean? That what does that mean for the country in terms of is it like a war, but everything is like, they are dictating. So nobody can do anything? Because then go Gunson, everything, running routes everywhere. So, you know, that was why I decided to go back. So at the time, when all this was going on in Ghana, you are unknown Black Shadow trips, were buying and selling but you ended up staying in the year. Luckily, I was obviously a window. Okay, so what happened? Obviously, you were in the UK. What happened now that you're in the UK? Like, tell us give the listeners a little bit of a, like a taste of what was going on mum? Yeah, so I stayed open, things will come down. But it didn't. And then during that time, I Met Your Dad. So decided to settle down. So got married, that changed the cut and long story short, there was a lot of issues in Ghana, you decided to stay in the UK. My dad got married, had me and my younger brother, and the rest is history. So that was basically so we want to kind of skip over that bit. So you're now you've now had, let's say you've had me now you're married. So what were you doing then? How will you support was my dad supporting you? How are you supporting yourself and your daughter at the time which means when we were when I was really really young. So before you were born up, I'll just go jump execute from a company, you know, 70s 70s and coffees and helping with the lunches basically, I was catering assistant, okay. And then the company went bust. So I had when I went to train the same, okay, so, so it's quite key. So obviously when you are working for an organisation, you should you shouldn't put all your eggs One basket, essentially, you should always have a mindset of skill in trading, because if it got company, in my mom's case goes bust or they make you redundant, or whatever the case may be, and you're not skilled, you might be in a very difficult position in terms of getting employment. So as always, I think even myself, I think it's always important, it's important to even go on job interviews, even when you have a job because it actually, it trains you to be better. And you kind of have an idea what the market is like. So even if you say, I don't want the job, you've put yourself out there to kind of give you that ability to show that actually, you know, what, I if, if push come to shove, and this job doesn't work out, I know I can get in the job. So it's quite good to kind of get yourself in that mindset and be always constantly training. So I'll go and continue the story here. So I've trained, and then sitting here guilds, so one and two, and three, they will tell management. So good job, which paid better than when I was a teaching assistant. And then after that, even when I had few, I was still working. But then when I had zero, the childcare costs was two. So when I had Simon, he always taught this graffiti class, she calls me Sarah Simon, our we're both different sexes, but she we call it the diamonds, we call it the money check. 20. Kid, you probably confused all of us. Yeah, so I stopped. So I was doing, you know, agency work that night, working every single weekends. So I just good looking after you to meet all jobs here and there. And so you are old enough to be, you know, to look after yourself. So just to give you a little bit of background so that the listeners don't get too confused. I have a younger brother. He's a good Simon. And I'm older than my younger brother, obviously. So my mom had me first and then my brother. And then she was talking about how she juggled the I guess the Kappa is a complexity of being a parent, looking after myself and my younger brother, and an also trying to somehow have a career. So you would do different different jobs. I mean, you did lots of jobs mom, like I don't think people affected my mom's really understanding herself. She did a lot of things. That editor that was available, and she did it. There was even things that you did as like your own little business, that you used to make cakes, for wedding engagement parties, birthday parties, and then people would buy cakes from you. So that was something she did. What else might we do do? A party? Party's Bryson Yeah. Chicken. Yeah, I didn't know that. So all those little fingers were ways that my mom made money, not just relying on like an employer to give her paycheck but actually using the skills that she had already to enable her to make an income for her family. And these are the things that I guess a lot of us that come from the diaspora have parents who did so many different things just to go keep the household going? Because they want the opportunities. So non current? Hmm, yeah, that's true. So that was what I did. And then when you go older, I started suffering from osteoarthritis, Illini, Steph, I couldn't really do all those jobs. So I went into the office to become an admin administrator, because of the skills I had before. Yeah. So I worked in the office for another three or four years, and then a call made returning dogs. And then from there, I went into university to train us a social worker. So before we kind of get to that bit, Mum, how old were you when you were made redundant to the time that you stopped working to the point when you went to university? Oh, it was I was. I was 50 when I got made redundant. And when do you go uni to DC Casa de De La Salle one year access course. Okay. So I 51 D one. So, at 50. My mom would make redundant she'd let redundancy define her She decided actually, that's fine. Let me go in and be trained to do something else. You went to do an access course. I don't know if access courses are still around anymore but I'm not sure. But like she didn't access because the access court is normally for people who are going into adult further education. Is that right mom like that? Maybe you did your A Levels long term, a long time ago, like it's not really made for people who are just like coming out of college or uni, but it's more for people that have you know, life experience, experience of life, but they want to go to uni. So you did the access course. And then from the access course, you went on to go and do your degree in social work. So now you're doing a degree in social work. We want to move into the when you were diagnosed with a neurodiversity, so you're new or divergent, just like me, I'm neurodivergent. I have dyslexia and ADHD, so can you so in the second year of your studies, how old were you then? Oh, two, three. So at 53 Mum, my mum was diagnosed with what were you diagnosed with? Tell the listeners Oh Lexia. dyslexia and dyspraxia, dyspraxia, so dyslexia dyspraxia, which are both types of neuro diverse, diverse conditions. So imagine if you think about it all your life, you had this condition, you were more than you will, I guess, manage multiple priorities. So things like your family, your career, being a wife, being a mother, who does things you were trying to manage that. And underneath all of that you had dyslexia, and dyspraxia and didn't know you had these conditions. Or maybe you maybe didn't know, or maybe either something wasn't quite right. But you didn't know what the word was to explain what it was, well, I do struggle to do certain tasks. So probably, I thought, well, maybe that's how I'm made. So I just get on with it, or repeat it and go around around. So I've created my own coping mechanism. So a lot of people that don't know they have, like dyslexia, or a type of neurodiversity, that they kind of mask, I think that's a term in Moscow, and it just tried to fit in with like everyone else. And the groups of people that tend to mask quite often are are women, or people of colour black people, they tend to not get because if you go into an industry and already you've got a couple of things that are holding you back from being a woman is it's tough. Being Black is difficult. And then on top of that you have, you know, a disability that people classed as a disability. I don't I don't see neurodiversity as a form of disability. I feel it's a gift. But people just don't understand it. And they just see as the inconvenience. And I don't see that anyone would, neurodiversity should be seen as an inconvenience. It's just the way they learn them where their mind is correct is different from neurotypical people. And I think people need to change their mindset on how they view people that are neuro diverse. This is part of the reason why I'm doing this podcast, to get people to have that awareness that just because you learn differently, doesn't mean that you are less than or you are an inconvenience to an organisation or wherever you are, you bring a lot to the table. Yeah, so having that just just talking about your work history, Mum, actually, is a testimony to people that may have neurodiversity, and think that Oh, I can't do anything. But you are clearly someone who's shown evidence that despite the fact you've had dyslexia and not known you have dyslexia for up to three years of your life, and having a new and having dyspraxia, you still achieved quite a lot of things. You had a business, you did side hustles you had a family, you achieve so much, but if you put the disability first that people like to refer to it as people would have just bought a she can't achieve anything. So I think if you're listening out here and you have like a neuro diverse condition, just see that it's not something that you should be ashamed of. And this is something that you should see as a bad thing. It's actually something quite powerful to have and you can use it to your advantage and my mom's a testimony to that. But you were diagnosed at 53 with dyslexia and dyspraxia so when you got that diagnosis, if actually talk me through how you were diagnosed and what the process was and had had to after the whole process of being diagnosed? Oh, yeah, it was one of my colleagues dragged me down to the disability saints, and then they booked an assessment for me. So when there is, you were reluctant, you didn't learn football? Yeah. Well, I mean, I've lived with it all my life. So I didn't think it will be useful. So you cannot lose. So anyway, they did the results scheme. And they actually put a lot of support in place. So many things, I had access to a quiet room to my work. My day, I was given a laptop. It's adaptations actually tailor made for me. And the software was actually tailor made for me, I should say. He did talk about the actual test itself. I mean, I felt that dyslexia test so I got tired. Yes, what? A baby want to go through that. Two solid hours, or probably more, that you're going through different questions. Yes. I can't do this one. But yeah, it's up to them to it's like doing a mentor after breaks. And also, yeah, it's that it's like a mental mental Olympics that you're doing in your head is really, really tough. But they need to put you through these things so they can be sure that you have the disability. And when you did do it, did you not feel a sense of free? Oh, you didn't? Or how did you feel afterwards? I shouldn't be putting words in your mouth. But how did you feel after you knit now new? Ah, now I have dyslexia and I have dyspraxia does it did it go? Oh, it makes sense. So how did you feel afterwards? It made sense. Because I thought, because you had the if you if if I was diagnosed before you welled up feel differently, but because you've been through it, looking at all the reports came. I was okay with it. Yeah, so so I know what to expect. I had I told me mom that I'm going to have a dyslexia test is going to pay for me to get done. And this is the outcome. And I told you man, that was quite tough. But I told you that I felt good knowing that I had dyslexia because it meant that I got all the support I needed to struggle. Yeah. Because of the the first year I used to two instead of three hours study sometimes the whole week. I'm going over and over and over. Yeah. So what's the book? Did you what's the what did you get when you now found out that okay, you have dyslexia. As I said earlier, they provided me with love tool and installed the software, which actually met my needs. So that made life easier and I had extra time for the SS and the exam. So that actually that extra I think it was 20 minutes. They are an hour's work. So those 20 minutes I used to use it to read over my work. And that really improved my marks even though I was still doing quite well. But it got better. The only reason why I was doing well in with my assignments and all that I used to put a lot of time in a lot extra effort. You always find to do more when you have a disability or in a newer learning difference. I don't like this quite tiring. Yeah, I don't like different people who have neurodiverse conditions disabled because it's not the same thing if you just learned differently. Yeah, so I was a bit relaxed. You know, I still put in there for but I got it really it was just normal. So much. What would you say to people that get diagnosed late or who think they may have dyslexia? Oh anywhere diverse condition? Yeah, I think you should go and get themselves tested. And I mean, even if you invested in pay, I'll try and find the money somewhere out and get it done. Because tech is the best in the world bring to anybody. I mean, as an adult it I mean you do get a lot of help as a child, but as an adult is quite expensive right to get these psychotic tests done things like autism, dyslexia, they're very expensive. So if you can speak to your GP speak to your, you know, your general care professional, anybody that works in the educational system that you might be in even your employer may ask them if they can I help you find out if you, you may have a disability. I think some employers get grants for people who are dyslexic or have neurodiverse conditions, and they can make these adaptations in the work place for you. I will put information in the show notes of information that you can find on doc gawking UK, for people that building may have a disability that will give you a neurodiversity or a learning difference and support that's out there for you to get tested. Let's move on to the next part of the show. This is a safe place for project managers and professionals to give you the tools and how to navigate the complexity of being neurodiverse in the workplace. And this is the next part of the show. So mom, we're going to do a quick fire round. And I'm going to ask you a few questions and you're going to have to answer them with your chest with your heart. The birth response to the best. What is remote work, or working in the office? remote work. Sleeping in early mornings, early mornings, looking for BEST OFFERS or fine dining. Brian? Are you sure about that? Mom? Yes. But absolutely like cheap and cheerful saw you don't want to create a full price. Okay, so you go guys before you go fine dining on a cheap price on your own. Okay, being alone to reflect on your thoughts, or be my friends and family and feeding off their energy. Food, friends and family. Energy. Okay, so you like being around people? Okay, and the last one is football. I think there's a football game at the moment going on. I'm not into football. But anyway, or snooker at the moment, because football is on the watch. More than that. I understand how it goes. That's what I'm watching. Because God is playing that's why the world. Okay, cool. All right then. So we've come to the end of the show we talked about, well, we talked to my mom basically about her journey of her Korea be the mom being a wife, and navigating all those things. With that without even knowing that she had a neuro diverse condition which was to select Sierra and dyspraxia and it was really nice to have my mum come on the show today. So I really, I really hope you enjoyed this podcast a little different, not different, but it's like it's good for people to be interviewed and just to get like a feel of what it is really like to have a neuro diverse condition. So please follow me on all platforms, where podcasts are uploaded. Thank you for listening to define the next month. And if you've got to the end of the show, this is a safe place for project managers and professionals to give you the tools and how to navigate the complexity of being neurodiverse in the workplace. See you next week. CC by Monster