Episode 50
Content Warning: There are brief mentions of violence, murder, and suicide in this episode.
You're about to embark on a journey to the heart of eSwatini (formerly Swaziland) with our extraordinary guests, Francis and Nquobile to learn all about their dedication to improving lives some of the most impoverished areas of eSwatini. Despite the lack of resources and a struggling healthcare system, they continue to support disabled children, the elderly, and those who are hungry.
We talk about the varied nature of their work, doing what they must in lieu of a health system with resources: they even provide transport and wheelchairs, build houses, teach caring tips, and locate families for children who have been orphaned. We talk about the grim state of affairs in the work they do, but also the excellent work they do in helping the community towards self-sufficiency via the teaching of care giving at home, and linking orphans with the elderly of the community.
This episode is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and a call to action to lend a hand to those in need. Join us for this riveting conversation.
Want to donate to help Frances and Nqobile with their work? Here is our GoFundMe Link: https://gofund.me/b46f729d
www.sendparenting.com
Episode 50
Content Warning: There are brief mentions of violence, murder, and suicide in this episode.
You're about to embark on a journey to the heart of eSwatini (formerly Swaziland) with our extraordinary guests, Francis and Nquobile to learn all about their dedication to improving lives some of the most impoverished areas of eSwatini. Despite the lack of resources and a struggling healthcare system, they continue to support disabled children, the elderly, and those who are hungry.
We talk about the varied nature of their work, doing what they must in lieu of a health system with resources: they even provide transport and wheelchairs, build houses, teach caring tips, and locate families for children who have been orphaned. We talk about the grim state of affairs in the work they do, but also the excellent work they do in helping the community towards self-sufficiency via the teaching of care giving at home, and linking orphans with the elderly of the community.
This episode is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and a call to action to lend a hand to those in need. Join us for this riveting conversation.
Want to donate to help Frances and Nqobile with their work? Here is our GoFundMe Link: https://gofund.me/b46f729d
www.sendparenting.com
Welcome to the Send Parenting Podcast. I'm your neurodiverse host, dr Olivia Kessel, and, more importantly, I'm mother to my wonderfully neurodivergent daughter, alexandra, who really inspired this podcast. As a veteran in navigating the world of neurodiversity in a UK education system, I've uncovered a wealth of misinformation, alongside many answers and solutions that were never taught to me in medical school or in any of the parenting handbooks. Each week on this podcast, I will be bringing the experts to your ears to empower you on your parenting crusade. We are celebrating the 50th episode that's right 5-0 of the Send Parenting Podcast with over 10,000 downloads, and we're averaging about 400 downloads a week now. I want to give a big thank you to all of you who are listening and an even bigger thank you to all the guests who've come on the show and shared with us their knowledge and wisdom to support us on our journey with our wonderfully wired children. In honor of this milestone, I wanted to share with you a charity that is very close to my heart in Swaziland. For those of you who aren't familiar with Swaziland as a country, it's a small country with about 1.2 million people and it's kind of nestled between South Africa and Mozambique. It's where I lived and had Alexandra until we moved to the UK. My hope is that, after hearing their story and the wonderful work that they do, that you'll be inspired to donate and support their cause helping those in need. I set up a GoFundMe page that you can access in the podcast platform description or on our website at wwwsendparentingcom, or you can also see it on our social accounts at Send Parenting Podcast. As you join us in this episode, we will be journeying to the heart of Swaziland, where Francis and Nogule will make a profound difference in the lives of those who need it most, from their relentless efforts to support disabled children, elderly and those who are hungry in some of the most impoverished areas. Their dedication is a testament to the human spirit. They face immense hurdles, from scarcities of resource to harsh realities of a deteriorating healthcare system, yet they continue to forge ahead with unwavering determination.
Dr Olivia Kessel:Some of the stuff in this podcast might be hard to listen to, but I really recommend to listen. It's good sometimes to check how lucky we really are in the UK versus how it is in some other countries. Join me in this episode, our 50th episode of the Send Parenting Podcast. Also welcome Francis and Nogule to the Send Parenting Podcast. It is a real pleasure to have you on the show today.
Dr Olivia Kessel:All the way from Swaziland, which is a small country for my listeners, between Mozambique and South Africa, which is actually a kingdom. Actually, there is a king, the king of Swaziland. Today I've invited you on the show because I really want to share with our listeners the amazing outreach work you are doing in some of the most depraved areas of Swaziland and how you help individuals, orphans and elderly and others to feel supported and to get the help that they need, and the right kind of help that they need, by the efforts that you do. Maybe, francis, you could kick us off by saying describing a little bit about what you do, why did you start on this and how are you helping people in Swaziland?
Frances Takis :Welcome to everybody who's listening. We started because somebody came to me and said that their child was an orphan. They had an orphan that was a granny looking after an orphan and she had special needs. I went into the rural area to see what was going on. While I was there I realized that there was so much going on there that needed help. We started off there and then I met Mbile through Chizakera and I met her through looking after various people here in town. We've been working together in Imsynduza, which is a very poor area of Mbibon. Most of my work now is with Mbile in Imsynduza.
Dr Olivia Kessel:Nabila, can you tell us a little bit about the people that you care for in the community?
Nquolile Mavuso :Okay, briefly I could say that, because I asked somebody that has done care work in the United Kingdom and unfortunately I got deported because I couldn't get the right documents. So with that experience I brought it to Swazland. So I get employed by people who are affording to data, affording to care for their loved ones, palliative care and other things similar to nursing homes in the UK. But then when I met Francis, it was a different thing which I got interested in in charity work. So in my community that's where I'm soon as I is, and it's a congested place where there's a lot of poor people, we've got disabled people, we've got elderly people that are sick they are just okay but they are hungry and we've got some leaky ones, different tears, so they're not the same. Like we say, we deal with all ages actually that's what I can say. And with the special needs we found a very challenging thing because recently, like last month, we've been going to look commission with and Francis has been providing the transport, because there's no transport for disability in this country, so we were using Francis's Baki to take them at the back of the car in a mattress to reach a look commission, which look commission is an organization by the Americans so they provide wheelchairs. So when we ask for the wheelchairs we bring them back with the clients. Then they get the wheelchairs, then they can be able to use them. Some of the wheelchairs they have to be modified according to their disability, which is good in a way, but they are not similar like the one I've seen in the UK anyway, but they are trying their best to suit that particular client. And also the other thing we've noticed there's not much support in the government system for disability in this country. The money that they are getting it's like five pounds per month, not per month, it's three months, yeah, it's three months, five pounds for three months. So that money is less.
Nquolile Mavuso :So the families of the people with living with disability, it's very challenging because it's a life-changing or it's a long-term thing, I would say like that. So financially it's draining because they are from poor families so they find it difficult to care for them because there's no financial support. So even us, it's very challenging for us because we don't get much donors from outside, so we rely on locales, which is just not reaching that level. We think it's that cool, but it tries to that level. Whatever we get, we try to see what we can provide, especially with the NAPIS. Some of them they don't have NAPIS for the children and we have to get donations for NAPIS for the children and for food Because, as you know, that people living with disability, some of them, they have to have special food, so you need to provide for those foods.
Nquolile Mavuso :Sometimes we can't because we cannot afford food. It's only that time when we have the cash to fund them. But if we don't have the funds then it means they are stuck. But they are surviving because they've got the children or they've got that particular adult as a family member. So they have to cope one way or the other, whether they are poor or not. So we always try to see how we can help them and find help for them. And also we do get used clothes, donated clothes. We don't need new clothes, just used clothes. They do make a difference. Then we also assist whenever they are sick, especially with the ones with epileptic. Most of our clients are epileptic. So Francis is the one that when they need the medication because it's very expensive, because the medicine is like 60 pounds per medicine for the epileptic patient and the government doesn't provide that.
Dr Olivia Kessel:No, the government doesn't provide that no.
Nquolile Mavuso :They do provide that. But nowadays the health system has collapsed because there have been a lot of political unrest due to the medical, to the health system, that misuse of funds and so forth. So nothing is right at the health system at the moment. It's very bad. So most people they've been going to look commission where they provide for free, but people they don't reach there because it's far, so they don't have money for a bus fare, you see what I mean.
Nquolile Mavuso :And there's no transport that is transporting people for free to go and get their medicines. You see what I mean. So it's very challenging Because also with the disability clients, some of the children they've left school because the transport there's no like a proper transport to help these children to schools. So the families, they cannot afford the taxes that provide that provides for normal people to schools. And even the challenges the transport operators, they seem to discriminate these children. They say they can't cope with them. So the children end up not going to school because there's no transport that is suitable for them. So the normal children when they are mixed with the children with disability they find very awkward. So they ends up this disabled children not going to school for that reason. They are stigmatised here.
Dr Olivia Kessel:So it's a big challenge. When I lived in Swaziland, I remember even some parents didn't try and send their children to school because of the disabilities, because there's a cultural shame as well, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You almost have a double whammy. You have.
Nquolile Mavuso :There's one lady that we met recently. She the child, he's 18 years old but he looks like 10 or 11. So when she's a housekeeper, so she, they live just the 12 of them. Because their husband passed away so she only got that one child, a son, and the son can communicate. So she used to take the child to a disabled school, but then the child said, no, this school is not suitable for me because these other children they're making noise for me, but he's also disabled. So then she had to take the child to a normal school. So then the child had difficulties with the transport but he was learning. Then they had to change, but now he's at home, he's not schooling, so he lives by himself because when the mom is at work, so the mother has to lock the child in the house and goes to work and come back, but she lives the food at the side where the child can reach, and the child is now not mobilizing very well.
Nquolile Mavuso :So we got the wheelchair for him, I think two weeks ago, and the child wants to learn piano. So we said we're going to look for a donor for the piano. And it's very funny, very sweet, and we try to support the families as much as we could. But sometimes it's like now it's dry, now it's very dry, so it's very difficult because even when they're sick, you know some disabled children. They need some special doctors, of which in Switzerland you cannot afford a special doctor. It's very expensive to attend a special doctor because you got to go to these private clinics, which is for those who afford anyway. So, government, they don't do much for the disabled people.
Dr Olivia Kessel:They don't have a certain. There's not many local services in Switzerland. I mean, I know from my experience of my daughter who had cerebral palsy that I had to go to Johannesburg to get the right care for her. So there's so many layers of need there, with the most basic of them even being just food. And I know, frances, you have discussed with me one of your programs that you guys do, which is taking orphan children and pairing them up with the elderly, which in in Switzerland, south Africa, are known as GOGOs, which is like grandmother it's usually grandmother's, not grandfather's. Can you tell us a little bit about that and how you take two very kind of fringe populations and put them together and make some magic happen?
Frances Takis :Well, I'll give you one example. There was a man here with a family of five children. The youngest girl, who was nine, was abducted for Muti for medicine and they found her body not so far away. She died and they had taken her few parts of her body for medicine and the community blamed the father and said he sold her to get money. And he didn't. He loved his daughter so he committed suicide. He was upset about the community blaming him for the death of his daughter. So in the end two of he had the four children left two.
Frances Takis :We got into Bulimbu, which is a very big orphanage. They have about 600 children there. The other child was taken by the mother who'd actually neglected him, but they got hold of her. The fourth child was left on his own. He was 11 years old. So we built him a house and the family next door, the Gorgor, said she would keep an eye on him. So we built just one room for him, gave him a cell phone which he could charge with the son so the son of phone and this Gorgor has kept an eye on him ever since. That's been about eight years now. We've been looking after him. So he's finished school and he's at an electrical college now doing he wants to be an electrician and the Gorgor has been really good to him all the time. We've kept an eye on him. She's kept an eye on him and made sure that he's had food and been cooked, so it's a. The Swazi people, the women oh wonderful, when it comes to things like that.
Dr Olivia Kessel:It really is.
Frances Takis :So that's the kind of thing that we try and see him through, so that he can be self-sufficient at some stage as well, because that's very important.
Dr Olivia Kessel:It's an amazing story and from such a horrible beginning to now be going and getting a technical qualification that he can support himself is amazing that's. And in terms I mean, it sounds to me like you come into this communities and you do what is needed when is needed. Yeah, we do.
Nquolile Mavuso :Yeah, because we. It's the food, okay. There's soup kitchens. At the moment we're supplying six soup kitchens and we've got 53 individuals. So the 53 individuals is either the person is single or they are living as a group, but we supply the 53, it means one food hamper for a family, whether the person is one or two or there are many. So and then also, if we get the donated clothes, we also do the nappies disabled nappies for adults and babies, because so many some babies.
Nquolile Mavuso :We find that there's young people, young ladies. They've got babies they cannot afford to look after and for that the baby daddy they are in prison or they just deserted them. So we do support those young ladies and also we do help with our hospitals. When somebody needs to go to the hospital, we do that.
Nquolile Mavuso :We also try to look for donors for building houses for individuals, especially elderly people, disabled people, because, as you know, in Swaziland most of the people they are still living in stick and mud houses and there's no income at the moment. A lot of people that aren't employed, so it's difficult. So imagine a disabled person and then a person that is elderly and the income for elderly is very low in this country, so they cannot afford anything. So we try to support as much as we could. Francis is going to send you a picture of that one that somebody has donated to do just a one room for that elderly person and this person has been living in this house that is almost collapsing for many years and finally we did get someone to do that house for the elderly lady. So at the moment this week I think it's going to be finishing the one room and this one room it costs about 40,000 rent, which is almost like 3.5 pounds to do the one room 3,500 pounds.
Nquolile Mavuso :Just to do the one room, so not even a one bedroom house.
Dr Olivia Kessel:one room, just a one room one door, and is it built in the traditional way that you build?
Nquolile Mavuso :traditional houses or different blocks and cement and everything it's concrete Okay so it's a solid structure.
Nquolile Mavuso :So we're going to send you the picture of before and the one after so that you see that different. And we're going to send you a picture of one guy that is now living with disability due to injuries. He was stabbed several times 27 times. So now he's bound on a wheelchair and he was deserted by his family and he is just. That's why it's like we are taking everything for him, so we care for him for everything. So cause they just deserted him because of the way he is, so Francis managed to get he's the reason?
Dr Olivia Kessel:Yeah, is the reason they deserted him because they don't have the money to support him, or is that what? And with the gogos? Because it used to be that the gogos were the head of the family and the children and they would look after the younger children. How are these children? How are the gogos? How are these individuals getting separated from their family unit? Is it because of finances or death, or what's causing the separation of families? This?
Nquolile Mavuso :one. He's 27 years, this guy, and when he was stepped he was injured on the spinal cord. So with them, because they used, he was stepped by a knife, by a knife. Then we tried to take him for physiotherapy but nothing changed. To Chinese doctors with Francis, nothing has helped. They said he's not going to get better.
Nquolile Mavuso :So Francis managed to do a tour room, this time for him, which he has a shower and a bathroom. So the toilet is independent, so he's independent. But with other things like food, clothes, when he needs hospital it's up to Francis everything. So his mother is alive, the sister is a pastor's wife, but everybody deserted him. So we have to check on him every week just to see how he's is. And he's got a cell phone. So we keep calling him to find out how he is or if he has a problem he has to call us. So we also provide cell phones for the clients if we see this person is by or herself, so that he can be able to reach us whenever there's a need, even it's a day or night, whether it's elderly or it's just a young person, as long as the person can manage to use a cell phone to reach us.
Dr Olivia Kessel:That's amazing, and you guys are a team of two, or do you have other people that work and help you with all of these efforts that you're doing?
Nquolile Mavuso :No, I'm just a carer for the whole community.
Frances Takis :I work with La Bile and I'm a Sendoza, but there are four or five other areas that I work in as well, and I have one person in each of those areas who tells me what need there is, so that I can go there.
Dr Olivia Kessel:And they live locally in those communities, so they know who needs what and how you can help them.
Frances Takis :Yeah.
Dr Olivia Kessel:Well, you know, my hat goes off to both of you and to your helpers in the other regions, francis, because what would happen to these people without you? And I imagine that COVID has made things a lot worse, both with the health infrastructure and also with the unemployment? Absolutely.
Frances Takis :Yeah, but the big thing with La Bile the fact that she was trained overseas is wonderful because she can train people the gorgos, to look after those disabled children. So that's also a great help, because most of you can imagine trying to wash somebody's hair who's lying on the floor in a mud hut. It's extremely difficult. So La Bile can teach them how to do that, how to pick them up, everything and how to put in drips and all that sort of thing, because the hospital leaves that to sometimes. We had a 15-year-old mother who had a baby and she had on a permanent trip and she was having to change the drip all the time herself. So it's nice that La Bile has had that good training to be able to help those sort of people. There's not much help from the hospitals. No, if I was to tell you some of the stories, I don't think you'd actually believe them. There's no medicine if they have an operation. There's no painkillers after the operation. There's nothing.
Nquolile Mavuso :Nothing. You go to the theater. If you go to the hospital government hospital you go to buy. If you have to have an operation, you have to buy everything for yourself, even the anesthetic. You call what anesthetic? You buy it for yourself. Yes, you go to Babane clinic. They write their prescription and how much they have to get from the Babane clinic. Then you come back and bring it to the theater. You buy the bandages for yourself, everything cause, everything for the operation. Then you give it to the doctors, then they'll do the operation for you. That is what is happening currently.
Dr Olivia Kessel:So what happens to people who can't afford?
Nquolile Mavuso :all of that, then they just don't get the operation.
Dr Olivia Kessel:They die, they die.
Nquolile Mavuso :And this is the issue of these days, because these issues in parliament now also that then, because some business people they've been claimed that they are taking the medicines connected with people working in the Ministry of Health to supply pharmacists that are now businesses. So the things are taken from the government system to businesses outside which are individuals and outside government. So it's a lot of corruption, if I can put it that way.
Frances Takis :It has been exposed, so we're just hoping it's going to be addressed soon by the parliamentarians.
Dr Olivia Kessel:Well, it's changed so much from when I was working in healthcare in Mbobane with Dr Stevens and because it sounds like a totally different. It wasn't great then, but it was nowhere near what you guys are describing now.
Nquolile Mavuso :Yeah, because even the you know the emergency line cause, as is 977. It doesn't work here. It's just a number, you call for an ambulance, they don't come. So as we have decided with Francis that if I needed Someone to be taken to the hospital I call Francis if she's available. If she's not available, then she'll Advise me to get a taxi and then she'll send the money over and then we can take the patient to the hospital, buy food for that day and then take the person back again. So that's what we thought. That took who helped. So the money is working in different things. You see what I mean. I mean that's we find that the person is to be admitted. I've got to make sure the person how to follow up in the hospital, how the person is being treated.
Dr Olivia Kessel:It's a lot of work.
Dr Olivia Kessel:Yeah and that they've got the right care. It is a lot of work and I think that's, you know, one of the the reasons why I wanted to have you on the send parenting podcast, because you guys do a lot with a lot, very little resources, and I'm hoping that some of my listeners and audience who are Listening to this will be able to Dig into their pockets and hopefully contribute to help you guys in your efforts in Swaziland, because actually the pound and and you'll know, this nobile goes a long way in Swaziland versus what it does over here, so you get a lot of bang for your buck.
Nquolile Mavuso :So thank, you so much. We really appreciate that.
Frances Takis :Yeah, what I do have to add, is nobile, doesn't get paid, once said, for doing all this either.
Dr Olivia Kessel:Wow, you know, you know, you know. You know you were a loss to England and I'm so sad we deported you because you have a big heart but you were obviously meant for bigger things and to help Francis and to be on a different journey than Working in the UK and you've taken all those skills with you and there's a place for you in heaven. I know, because it's these. It sounds like these people have no one, no one else to turn to.
Frances Takis :I want to thank you both. She's very keen to try and get a job over this.
Nquolile Mavuso :I can do a lot of things there and bring back More things this site, because I know what I can change if I can manage to go to Europe again. So I'm working my way, but I don't know about Francis.
Dr Olivia Kessel:Well, you know, billy, you're gonna have to find your second in command then to start helping, you know, learn the ropes and and become your mini me in Swaziland before you fly the coop.
Dr Olivia Kessel:But I think your heart is there. Well, thank you both so much for coming on the San parenting podcast and sharing your stories with us, because you know, sometimes Especially you know in the UK, where we really do have life pretty good, but it is it is harder now for people with quality of life and stuff like that, and sometimes we get so mired in our own Misery or what's going wrong in our life that it's a very helpful to listen to how other people have it and what struggles they are having and you realize, wow, actually we have it pretty good over here and we have a lot of resources that aren't available in other countries. So I think it's a it's a sense check to some, to myself and to others out there, and I will Be putting details on how people can donate on the podcast and on my website as well, and, you know, I hope that we can provide you guys with some of the the fuel For all of the great work that you're doing in Swaziland. So thank you both for coming.
Nquolile Mavuso :Thank you so much. Yeah, I hope our message it's gonna reach out to so many people and for people to understand that when, where you are, you guys, we are very lucky to have a wonderful life, whereas where we are, we wish people they could be on the same path as you, especially those who have vulnerable, because we wish we can do more for them, but it's, we are only limited.
Nquolile Mavuso :So at least people to appreciate on what they have, because definitely some people that are very lucky in the world. So people, whatever they have, they should hold it in both hands Because that it shows that God is on their side when, as other people, they need the same God.
Dr Olivia Kessel:Yeah, those are great words to end on. Thank you, nabila. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening Send parenting tribe and if you've been inspired by Francis and Nabila's efforts to make a difference in Swaziland, please donate. Even a pound will make a difference. This is especially true because of the exchange rate. One pound is 23 Lillangheni, which is the Swaziland currency, although probably pronounced very differently in Swaziland. Five pounds is a 113 Lillangheni. To put it in perspective, with one pound you could almost buy two loaves of bread in Swaziland. I've set up a go fund me page in the podcast description which has a link to it. I'll also have that link on our website at SEND parenting calm and our social pages on Facebook and Instagram at send parenting podcast. I'm hoping to raise 500 pounds, but really every little bit will help. Thank you in advance for any Contribution you're able to make it this time, wishing you and your family a loving week ahead.