SEND Parenting Podcast
Welcome to the Send Parenting Podcast. I'm your neurodiverse host, Dr Olivia Kessel, and, more importantly, I am a mother to my wonderfully neurodivergent daughter, Alexandra, who really inspired this podcast.
As a veteran in navigating the world of neurodiversity, I have uncovered a wealth of misinformation, alongside many answers and solutions that were never taught to me in medical school or in any of the parenting handbooks.
Each week on this podcast, I will be bringing the experts to your ears to empower you on your parenting crusade.
SEND Parenting Podcast
Caregivers self-care guide with Eleonora Magri, founder of Inclusi
Dr. Olivia Kessel explores the essential yet often overlooked topic of caregiver self-care with behavior analyst Eleanor Magri, revealing how nurturing ourselves is not selfish but necessary for effectively supporting our neurodivergent children.
• Neurodiversity family specialist Eleanor Magri introduces the concept of holistic support that includes caring for the caregiver
• Parents often feel guilty prioritizing their needs, viewing self-care as selfish rather than necessary
• Simple sensory self-care strategies like spending time in a darkened room or using calming sounds can regulate the nervous system
• Building sustainable self-care habits by "stacking" them with existing routines (like adding a breathing exercise before brushing teeth)
• A case study demonstrating how parental self-regulation led to improved communication and fewer crises with a neurodivergent adult daughter
• The importance of creating awareness about burnout symptoms and recognizing when intervention is needed
• Understanding that between two hard paths, consistent self-care offers better long-term outcomes
• A free "Caregiver Balance Sheet" resource to help visualize time invested in children versus oneself
Join our private SEND Parenting WhatsApp community for support, insights and connections with like-minded parents who truly understand. The link is available in the show notes.
Click here for Free Caregiver Balance Sheet
www.inclusi.org/caregiverbalancesheet
www.sendparenting.com
Welcome to the Send Parenting Podcast. I'm your neurodiverse host, Dr Olivia Kessel, and, more importantly, I'm mother to my wonderfully neurodivergent daughter, Alexandra, who really inspired this podcast. As a veteran in navigating the world of neurodiversity in a UK education system, I've uncovered a wealth of misinformation, alongside many answers and solutions that were never taught to me in medical school or in any of the parenting handbooks. Each week on this podcast, I will be bringing the experts to your ears to empower you on your parenting crusade. If you're looking for a safe space to connect with other parents navigating their neurodiverse journey, our private WhatsApp community offers support, insights and real conversations with like-minded parents who truly understand. Join the conversation today. You can find the link in the show notes In this episode.
Speaker 1:As the Easter holidays have begun and routines are falling away, it can feel almost impossible to carve out space for ourselves. But the truth is caring for ourselves is not selfish. It's essential. Today I'm joined by Eleanor Magri, a board-certified behavior analyst who works closely with parents of neurodivergent children. Together we will explore how nurturing ourselves fuels our ability to support our children and why our well-being matters just as much as theirs.
Speaker 1:Join us for this great episode. So welcome Eleanor. It's such a pleasure to have you on the SEND Parenting Podcast today. You know I'm really looking forward to our discussion because we spend so much time, both in life and as topics for this podcast, talking about our neurodiverse children and what we can do to help them, how we can help them to succeed, and we often, or most of the time, forget about ourselves and we forget about how important it is actually to fuel ourselves, to be there for our children and to be the best caregiver or parent that we can be. So I'm really excited to unpick this topic with you today, because we don't talk about it very much, so welcome.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Well. Thank you so much for having me on the podcast. You know this is a true passion of mine. I've been working with neurodivers individuals and caregivers for a really long time and I have really realized that it is not a. It's an overlooked topic. We don't talk a lot about supporting our caregivers. The focus is mainly on the child and, yeah, we need to talk more about it Excellent.
Speaker 1:So tell us a little bit about your background. How did you get to?
Speaker 2:be interested in this and what is your background? So I've always been interested, you know, since very young, about you know psychology, and interested in why people do the things that they do, and I also knew that I wanted to work with children. I was lucky enough to be going to an elementary school that was very inclusive, and now, looking back, I realize that some of my classmates that I was paired with were probably neurodivergent and I just felt drawn to getting to know why they were doing the things that we're doing. And it was just a shared connection of inclusion, that it was mutual, and I carried along through my journey, and so that led me to again a kind of like education in psychology and then more specifically into behavior analysis, supporting neurodivergent individuals and their families in the homes. And there again I realized, yes, Let me just pause you there.
Speaker 1:For those of us who don't know what a behavior analyst is, can you explain just briefly what a behavior analyst is?
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely. So a behavior analyst? It's a person that specializes in analyzing behavior and improving those behaviors that might not be appropriate or inducive of quality of life, would say maladaptive behaviors, are, you know, experienced, and looking at what lagging skills there might be, what environmental factors we might be looking at that we can modify to again improve the quality of life and the well-being of that person. And so, thank you, yes, absolutely. And so applied behavior analysis is a huge field. It's not only a support system for neurodivergent individuals and their families, but that has been my specialty, and so I always looked at how can I improve the quality of life, how can I be of service?
Speaker 2:And I realized early on working with families in the home that again we were focusing on the child, and oftentimes even just a simple question of asking mom or dad, how are you doing? It created kind of an uncomfortable moment of I'm not expecting you to ask me how am I doing. Let's focus on my child and focus on this crisis and focus on this crisis. And so there was a need of a more holistic approach to change a little bit that lens if we wanted to really create a long lasting impact after the treatment was done or the professional were gone. So that kind of led me to a more holistic approach for supporting individuals and their families and really this piece of caring for the caregiver which have been my, my recent, you know, passion and focus, yeah, it's that integrated care.
Speaker 1:You know it's it's not looking at just the child in isolation and and you know it doesn't it's the whole family that kind of comes into it. So how have you, how have you changed the way you practice to bring the caregiver into what you do with the child? Tell us how it works.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it starts. It starts early, early on, immediately. I mean, I can give you, I think in more practical terms, an example of a family that I was called in again again.
Speaker 2:You know, to solve a crisis. You know my, my daughter, is experiencing these behaviors. They're impacting her safety, they're impacting the family safety, the well-being. And early on, as we structured our support, I really had to have some conversation with the parents that, although, yes, absolutely, we are going to target this crisis and support the individual, we need to create a system that can support that change. And so, as equally as we were working with the individual and having sessions, we were also meeting as a family together to work on those dynamics, and then also one-on-one with each of the parents, and so we quickly implemented the same self-regulation and strategies and learning how to monitor our emotions for the child. The same exact steps were implemented for the family as well. Of course, it was a big change for them.
Speaker 2:This family came to me that have tried it all you know a lot of, even from the medical approaches, from you know medicine right to yeah, all sorts of therapy, all sorts of counseling, and we're talking about an adult individual that came to my care and never in their treatment process they were exposed to some sort of a parent support, some piece that truly address the care of the parent. And so we structured some baby steps strategies, right. Of course it needs to be very individualized. It's just the same approach that we implement for the individual and this particular mom gravitated towards breathing, and that was a strategy that then we took care in during our sessions as well as we talked about how to decrease the crisis, some practical strategies.
Speaker 2:Then mom, in those one-on-one sessions with me, was also practicing the strategies in the moment and noticed, as we continue with consistency doing that more often, that her approach and her preparedness showing up to those crises, showing up to those difficult moments interacting with her daughter, she was sturdier, she was more prepared, she was able to model, being more regulated, and so then everything kind of started falling into alignment like a domino effect. Oftentimes, again, when we are overlooking the caring for the caregiver piece, we don't realize how this is really the foundation. And I tell parents, this is step one. If there is one strategy, one little things you can do today differently, forget about the other strategy. Just do this one first and then build upon the others.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know it's so interesting because in a lot of the people that I've spoken to on this podcast, actually addressing it with a parent can actually sometimes even without an intervention to the child, can have a knock-on effect. That is really beneficial because you get in this dynamic when you have a knock on effect. That is really beneficial because you, you get in this dynamic when you have a child that's struggling and acting out and you get into a kind of stress response, both of you, and it feeds off of each other and it, it escalates and then you have almost post-traumatic stress from it. So you go back into it and it almost becomes a routine. You know, you, you, you wait for it, it happens, and it happens and it, you know, and it plays out. You know and you both know your roles, so it's.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely. And you know I think it's a very difficult journey. I just empathize so much with the caregivers and families that you know they've kind of opened their homes right and their stories right. Sometimes it's very vulnerable, very difficult to share.
Speaker 1:It is kind of reframing it with families as well, because you spend so much time thinking about how can I help my child, what can I do for my child, and then to actually take a step back and say you know what? I also am responsible in this dynamic too, and I'm also. You know it's. They always say it takes two to tango. Do you know what I mean? And it does, and both with our relationship as a parent to our child as well. So it is a missing piece and that's why I particularly wanted to have you on the podcast, because we do have.
Speaker 1:You often feel powerless sometimes with your neurodiverse child and you feel powerless in terms of how to help them or what to do. But actually by realizing that you actually do have some power and you have quite a bit of influence in terms of what you can do in that dynamic. It's not easy and you do need support and I'm looking forward to talking to you about how you work with them and what type of strategies and how to develop those habits, because it's not easy and it's not simple, but the actual solutions are quite simple and it's changing kind of how you frame it in your mind and then it gives you a feeling of actually I'm not powerless in this situation and actually I can help more than I thought, and that's where kind of the magic happens.
Speaker 2:Absolutely yes, and that's exactly what I was trying to get to earlier, where when we spend a little bit of time with parents in these one-on-ones, we reinforce the fact that they're not alone, that we're there in this journey together and they can do it. And actually they're already doing a lot of taking care of their child, right, and so it's just a matter of guiding them through this journey of reframing. Looking at, you know, how can I shift that paradigm? You know, our culture and our society often kind of tells us that you know it's kind of a luxury to engage in self-care, and almost there is this misconception that you know I am almost selfish in taking care of myself, and so it's really guiding them to that first step of reframing. It's actually not a luxury, it's actually not selfish, it's a necessity. And how do we? How do we?
Speaker 1:do that, excellent. So what, what strategies you know if, if you were talking and I know it's hard, because, or I mean you can either give us general ones or maybe a case study that you have that then can be applied to other people who are listening today, in terms of what a caregiver can do in the here and now to help kind of uh them, um with their child and focusing on them, what, what would you recommend?
Speaker 2:yeah, so definitely a very, very simple but yet systematic step, right. So how do we shift this mindset right to promote, you know, this self care? So, obviously, recognizing some of the barriers, right, that parents face during this process? Right, a lot of time is lack of time, right, there is this guilt, there is this isolation, there is this lack of support. Again, this perception of focusing on oneself means I am almost neglecting my child.
Speaker 2:And you know, the first step is really creating this awareness, right, helping them recognize and define what is burnout in very specific almost symptoms. Step right, what does it look like in terms of sleep, in terms of my diet, in terms of my ability to react to a crisis or a trigger? Right, what are some things? What are my blind spots? Right, and once I'm able to guide them to that process of pausing right and taking the time to do that, then really step two it's the decision that I need to make in this moment. Right, I have two choices continue, kind of, on this path of burnout and then recognize some of the, unfortunately, very negative consequences, right, that can lead to that, some very, very severe in terms of health and also, unfortunately, in terms of the quality of care that we can offer to our loved ones, and I think that, as a caregiver, that's definitely something that is close to our heart. Right, we never want to neglect the care for our children, and so I think that's a very empowering step. It's like, oh okay, I can do something to improve the quality of my care.
Speaker 2:And so what's very interesting about human behavior, right, is that we will be quick to say between kind of like change or die, right in a very dreadful situation, let's say even to experiencing like a heart attack and surviving that. Right, if I have to say, well, you need to make this lifestyle changes, I will be quick to say, absolutely, I'm going to implement them today, and you could probably do that right, with that determination in the short term. But what the research shows us, right, in terms of looking at long term, if we don't have the right support system, we're going to quickly revert back to almost the same, as close to that very serious situation. And so, after we make that decision and recognizing that caregiving is hard, I have this choice of continuing into this very hard road or make a choice of doing something different. And what are the baby steps then?
Speaker 2:Looking at specific strategies, and that can be an overwhelming steps on its own right, Recognizing that the journey is very, very personal and very individualized, and choosing one simple, doable, achievable things that I can do. Ideally, would I love to do yoga every single day for an hour. That would be fantastic right, go and have coffee with my best friend for another hour every day?
Speaker 2:Absolutely Realistically. Be with my best friend for another hour every day Absolutely Realistically not doable, and a goal that is going to lead me to probably failure, right? So I need to choose one simple thing and I would say, stack it and pair it with the habit that you are already doing, embedded in your routine. That can be as simple as brushing teeth, right? So maybe right after before brushing teeth, picking that strategy that could be, again, easy for you to do and we can talk a little bit more some practical examples, I think that'd be great Cause.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know we're all like sitting there going. Well, what can I do before brushing my teeth? That would really refill my cup.
Speaker 2:You've got me thinking I'm like you thinking well, I'll introduce maybe something new, um to to your you know that you haven't heard before or maybe your audience haven't heard before um, that is called sensory self-care. Um, this is one of my favorite topics because it's kind of the backdoor, the shortcut to having your sensory system work for you and doing less. Right, because again, as we're talking about self-care and strategy, I'm also thinking another thing I got to do, right, add to my to-do list and again brings piles up to the sense of overwhel, of overwhelmment, right. So our sensory system, it's uh, it's wonderful.
Speaker 2:And if we are able to apply simple techniques and it could be just decreasing our visual, uh, environment, right, and so maybe putting a light that it's more soothing, or even just being in a black room for a moment, it can do with a timer, for example, just like a five minutes can really help our nervous system to regulate. And again, it sounds like a very simple, or maybe almost too simple, of the strategy. But if we're thinking about it as a small baby step and it's doable, and I can do it after brushing my teeth, especially when we are, you know, in the community or just even, you know, with our neurodivergent individual, you know, the environment can get quite overwhelming auditory wise right. So taking a time for a quiet moment, putting headphones, putting a calming music right Again, that's a little bit of a personal journey to understand and to learn a little bit of your preference and what, what is able to calm you down. I like that.
Speaker 1:So you're starting really small. So you're starting with very small.
Speaker 1:It's almost your first, like you know. For those who who drove manual cars back in the day, it's kind of like you're shifting the gear. You're not really, you're not pressing the foot on the pedal yet, You're just shifting the gear so that you can. You're opening yourself up to yes, I'm actually important, yes, I actually have to do something for myself and it's going to be small enough that it's not going to add pressure on me and I'm going to feel like a failure because I can't do the hour of yoga and I can't go meet my friend for an hour that I can't actually either listen to music for five minutes or sit in a lay in a darkened room.
Speaker 2:I'd probably fall asleep. That's okay. Set an alarm. I mean sleep, it's a big. It's a big overlooked right, like as caregivers we don't have. We don't get enough sleep. So that would be great if you could actually get it powered up.
Speaker 1:But it's that intention, isn't it?
Speaker 2:And then doing something that's doable, right Doable and consistently right, because that's really the key to the change of any behavior. And, again, it's not easy. But I have recognized, right, working with parents, that we need to set them up for success and if we're talking about strategy, they need to be baby steps, doable, and maybe some parents are more ready than others and so, absolutely, we can take 30 minutes three times a week to do and and perfect, and that's where we would start. But, yes, those would be the the, the three main, three main steps in terms of, in terms of strategies, and, very important, it's also having a support system right.
Speaker 1:That's what I was about to ask you actually right on track with me. Yeah, cause you said with a heart attack. If you don't have that support system, you go back to the fatty foods and whatever you were doing beforehand, the lack of exercise, because you know we forget things. That's the human mind. We wouldn't have more than one children if we remembered exactly how painful birth was and we revert back to what's comfortable and I think a lot of parents of neurodiverse children feel very alone. So your support system can become very I mean, I describe myself as a hermit actually, especially with COVID as well and everything you know and your life can become very closed because people might not understand your child, you might not fit into social circles anymore, your family members might not understand. So you can become very isolated or not share the things that you actually really need to share because you're embarrassed or you don't think people will understand. So your life becomes and that's not good for you, that's toxic for you really.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. And having these check ins as a very as a professional supporting families, as a professional supporting families are so important, so needed, and just in this equation right that you had mentioned earlier too, where you know, caring for the caregiver and caring for the child are these equation and it always needs to be balanced for it to work right. And so, just as I am spending time with the child and checking in how they're doing, is it working? What's not working, let's reevaluate, let's do the same for the caregiver and really empowering in that journey, and that really goes along into, you know, if we look at changing any behavior, those are the important steps that need to be in place in order to take place and in turning to be, to be sustainable long, long term. Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And then do you build on it, so as, as you work with your clients and as you, you know, as you move forward, do you build on these, these quick fixes, I mean, and how do you progress?
Speaker 2:Absolutely, again, very individualized journey, so I might stay with the family that is extremely overwhelmed, right, extremely, maybe in a crisis situation, maybe taking care of a couple of children, maybe a single parent, right, we might stay in this initial stage for a little bit longer than a family that perhaps you know there are two parents at home, right, there's maybe one child, maybe less intense needs, and then absolutely building, building in terms of time per strategy, right, so maybe we't only have our physical self-care, we have our emotional. Right, we have a social component to it, right, in terms of well-being, taking care and looking at our hobbies and things that inspire us, right, maybe our career right, and those are all things that, as human beings, we need to kind of like little cups, right, maybe our career right, and those are all things that, as human being, we need to kind of like little cups right, that we need to kind of keep feeding in order to really have and live a fulfilled life in terms of quality of life. Very, very individualized.
Speaker 1:But we got to tap in all those little buckets, right, little containers tapping all those little buckets right, little containers, and I can imagine that with a lot of parents looking after divergent kids, as I can say for myself, you look in some of those buckets and there's, you know, cobwebs in there and you know there's nothing in there. You know, because it all goes out the window to look after your child.
Speaker 2:Right, absolutely, and you know it's really interesting to guide them through kind of an assessment process of like, how are all those cups, in terms of time and energy, filled? If we're looking at the individual, right, how much they spend into ensuring that they have social connection, ensuring that maybe they have, you know, a work future right, Ensuring that all their appointments where their care providers and, you know, doctors are taken care of, and then we shift to looking at the same cups for the parents and absolutely, just like you mentioned, most of them are empty right.
Speaker 1:And that's a big aha moment.
Speaker 2:It's a big aha moment for parents and it's actually, you know, a little tool that I developed because, again, part of making a behavior shift right, creating a new habit, I got to have kind of like a little bit of a shock, a little bit of aha moment in realizing oh, this is happening right, because otherwise I'm going into automatic pilot, especially if I'm in a situation where I'm just in survival mode and overwhelmed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't see the wood for the trees. Yes, it's incredibly important. We've discussed how important it is. Could you share any case studies where you put this into place and what the outcome has been? You know what I mean how it's changed that family dynamic.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I will go back to this pretty, you know, crisis case that I was called into where, again, the parent had tried everything and I'm talking about, you know, an adult individual by now right, it's no longer a child. And so the family was even more isolated because they didn't even have any contact anymore with maybe the school right or maybe parents support groups in that sense, and so very much isolated, no contact with any of their relatives because, again, they don't understand that there is almost a guilt or shame type of layer. And so we started applying again this system of support and check-ins, working with the family one-on-one. At first it was very brief, because a lot of our time was spent into dealing with the crisis, but we ran a small little preference of all.
Speaker 2:Right, we're going to take two moments, put on something that you like to listen to. You're talking to me with the checking. Let's practice the breathing. Let's just do it, let's just stay with me. We're connecting, we're reinforcing those good habits and our conversations, in terms of our sessions and support in the family sessions, took a very I would just say even 180 degree change from where we spent our entire time working through meltdown, working through behavior, to slowly the family being able to see their daughter from her perspective, the difficulties that she was going through and how some of their approaches as parents because they were overwhelmed were impacting. So we would have, maybe some good days where mom was able to do some breathing and be able to stay more regulated and she would notice oh, I noticed my daughter is able to respond to me a little bit better. I was able to listen to her complaining about, you know, whatever situation and not get triggered, because it was the a thousand time that I heard that comment Right.
Speaker 1:Sorry, it's just resonating with me.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Sorry, it's just resonating with me.
Speaker 2:Right, and so, little by little, as as mom was trying, you know, the daughter is able to share, not only with the critical lens, some of the world that she sees right through, not only just a complaint, but is able to talk about it in a more neutral way. Mom and dad are also able to join her into those connections and experiences, and so it's no longer about the crisis but becomes just a connection moment. Mom and dad can be more present. We're expanding on those self-care strategies as well, and their quality of life has improved and they're no longer dealing with crisis every day. It's more sporadic. They're able to go places. They actually did a recent trip on their own where the daughter was able to. Again, she's an adult, so she's able to stay in a facility where she has her support system, and that was huge. That was probably the first time in a very long time they've been able to do it, and so that speaks to that consistency and that support and that is possible.
Speaker 2:Is it easy? It is not easy, absolutely not, right. But I think that the journey of staying in the overwhelmed place, it's also not easy, right. So that's what I'm trying to. The message that I'm trying to share Right With families is that between the two hearts, right One of it has the more more predictability for better outcomes.
Speaker 1:You know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. With one, with the other one, you're just going further and further into the tunnel. You're like burrowing down into the ground, you know, and it just becomes more. You know, the weight of the world just gets heavier and heavier. But what you're saying is with the other way is, although it's hard, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and there is the potential and the hope for change. And it starts with you.
Speaker 1:I was saying to my daughter actually yesterday she's got a friend that she's, you know, trying to counsel and it's. I was just like, oh, my goodness, where is this going? But I said to her you know, you can't change anyone, you can only change you and how you see a situation. And that story that you just gave us kind of illustrates that. It sounds to me like the parents and the daughter learned to communicate and understand each other's language and where the daughter was coming from by being able to get to a calmer place themselves, by using self-care strategies which took them away from being in the burning building scenario and instead allowed them to pause, listen and see it from their daughter's perspective, or where her, where her angst was coming from. That sounds good.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you. That, that was great yes.
Speaker 1:I'm listening, it's part of my job. I'm learning too. I mean it's it's it's so beneficial because you, you know it is. It is so hard and it is so easy to be in that crisis, fight or flight mode. You know, when you're dealing with one, two children, life, it is it's very easy not to stop. So I love the way that you have simplified it and made easy kind of quick fixes that you can start now and I'm sure all of my listeners would love to get in contact with you and have you support them and we're going to give all that information at the end here. But what can parents do that they could do right now? You know in their homes after listening to this podcast that they could do that could really help them, that you would recommend. What would be that your best quick fix, if there is such a thing?
Speaker 2:If there's such a thing, well, I think the message of caring for yourself as caregiver is not selfish as necessary. If you could just repeat that mantra throughout the day, multiple times a day, as you, you know just to absorb.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think that, again, we don't hear it enough, right? Not even sometimes, you know, like with our parents, you know we don't learn it as children, our society, right, if we go as a parent and we're you know we're pregnant, we don't hear it from our care professional that, oh, by the way, you know, make sure that as a parent, you're taking some time for yourself. So it's not selfish, it's necessary and it will really increase the quality of life overall for you. But ultimately and I know this as caregivers, they want to hear it right it will improve the quality of life and the relationship ultimately that you have with them, with your loved ones.
Speaker 1:And that's kind of the big motivator, isn't it? That's, that's that, sadly, that is the motivator, it's. I mean, you would think you'd want to do it for yourself, for yourself, but actually by being a parent and a caregiver you kind of, you have to become selfless and you put their needs before your own. So it's almost like it's a funny little quirk there that if you do it for them, then you'll do it. But if you were just doing it for you, you probably wouldn't do it, am I?
Speaker 2:correct Absolutely. And I would say, you know, we have to learn how to do the things that we would do for others, for ourselves, right, and it's so hard, so hard, but that's the, that's the, that's the mantra I'm trying to a little little habit there, I'm trying to install.
Speaker 1:There's an interesting thing that I learned in my corporate lifeline, which was you know, men are very good at negotiating for themselves and getting better deals with jobs and stuff like that. The advice for a woman was instead of you know, you're not good at negotiating for yourself, but if you go into a negotiation and you do it for your dog or for your daughter or for someone else, you become a much better negotiator. I was like you're kidding me. No, it's true. So basically, which, which, which is kind of what we're talking about now. If we do it for someone else, we will do it, which is a lovely quality to have, but you know, we have to tap in to make sure that it has the knock on effect of actually benefiting ourselves, which is what we need to do.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. And then I would. I would say, if I can just continue with like a couple, a couple of more things you know in terms of sensory self care, that's going to be your, your best friend, is going to be your, your quick shortcut, your, your back door. Especially right if, if, um, you know it, it's, it's going to help you, um, empower you and show you that that you're able to implement, even if it's just a two minutes little strategy and you're going to notice, um, a little bit better. It's not going to work overnight, but if you're consistent with that and tagging along with that, what we, what we shared earlier, to embed it, you know, put it next to something that you are already doing. Right, I'm just saying brushing teeth because that's, that's something that you know, most likely we will do at least a couple of times a day.
Speaker 1:My mother used to. She had to take her medication in the evening and she'd forget, so she taped it to her remote control because she knew she'd watch TV every night, so then she'd see her pill bottle there and take her medication.
Speaker 2:There, you go.
Speaker 1:That's the concept. Tag it to something that you already do.
Speaker 2:Exactly To create that new habit. There you go and not feeling enough. But whatever works for you in that moment, it's enough. And just by you know, even just listening right to this podcast, to me that checks the box of you know you did your little self-care for today in listening to something that hopefully gave you some right inspiration, something to think about and bring with you for that little change.
Speaker 1:And you can tag that with the irony, you can tag it with the cooking, you can tag it with a walk with a dog, you know, driving to pick up your kid from school. That's what I love about podcasts, because you can multitask with them and get that benefit. Yes, so now you have also told me that you have a free resource that you're going to offer my listeners. Can you tell us a little bit about this, and then I will include it in the show notes so that people can access it Alongside. I'll also have your contact details so they can reach out to you as well. But tell us about the free resource. Love a free resource.
Speaker 2:Yes, free resource, just a little bonus, right? We were talking about this little cups of you know time and energy, right, and this is a big aha moment for the caregivers that I worked with minute little assessment questionnaire that will guide you to identify how much time and energy you are dedicating and investing in your child. Assessing again, like how are their social life, you know, making sure that they have extracurriculum activities, making sure they have their doctor appointments, and then how much of that time and energy are you doing in regards to you as a parent? You know, in terms of what fills your cup, your appointments, your doctor appointment, your sleep, your diet. And so it's an online, quick, little free resource. You can find it at wwwinclusiorg forward slash caregiver balance sheet.
Speaker 1:Okay, and for all of those dyslexics out there or people who have forgotten already what you've just said, it will be in the show notes.
Speaker 2:Great. Thank you so much. The clickable link Very much needed. An easy link to to get to it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Excellent. Well, thank you so much. It has been an absolute pleasure having you on the podcast today, and I think this is such an important topic, and it's been lovely to think about ways to make it easy and also to reconfirm for all the parents out there that this is really important and it's something that we need to listen to and we need to focus on, not just for ourselves, but for our kids as well. Great.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for allowing me the opportunity.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening. Send Parenting Tribe. If you haven't already, please click on the link in the show notes to join us in the private Send Parenting WhatsApp community. It's been wonderful to be able to communicate with everyone in the community and for us to join together to help each other to navigate challenges and to also celebrate successes. Wishing you and your family a really good week ahead. You.