EP 157:GCSE Choices, Neurodiversity, and the Bigger Picture

This week is a short solo half-term check-in.

It is GCSE options time in our house, and I know many of you are feeling the same fear.

In this episode, I talk about:

• The 30% executive function delay in ADHD and what that really means
 • Why GCSE choices can feel overwhelming for neurodivergent teens
 • How to choose subjects based on interest, not pressure
 • The bigger life picture beyond exams
 • Successful neurodivergent entrepreneurs including Jo Malone, Richard Branson and Ingvar Kamprad

GCSEs matter — but they are not destiny.

If you are sitting at the kitchen table staring at options forms, this episode is for you.

A calm reset for half term. 💛

Register for the ADHD Medications Unmasked Masterclass with Dr Giovani on Tuesday, February 17th @ 8 PM

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📩 Contact Me
If you would like to get in touch, you can email me directly at olivia.kessel@sendparenting.com

I would genuinely love to hear from you, especially about the topics you would like covered and the guests you would love to hear from in 2026.

Transcript

Welcome And Masterclass Invite

Dr Olivia 0:06

Welcome to the Send Parenting Podcast. I'm your neurodiverse host, Dr. Olivia Kessel, and more importantly, I'm mother to my wonderfully neurodivergent daughter, Alexandra, who really inspired this podcast. As a veteran in navigating the world of neurodiversity in a UK education system, I've uncovered a wealth of misinformation, alongside many answers and solutions that were never taught to me in medical school or in any of the parenting handbooks. Each week on this podcast, I will be bringing the experts to your ears to empower you on your parenting crusade. Hello and welcome back to the Send Parenting Podcast, this half-term holiday week. But before we dive in today, a quick reminder that tonight at 8 p.m., I'm going to be hosting ADHD Medication Masterclass with Dr. Giaroli. He's absolutely amazing and he's so knowledgeable. This is not about pushing medication, but it's also not about dismissing it either. It's about understanding how ADHD medication works in the brain, what side effects actually look like, and how sleep and appetite are monitored, how medication interacts with anxiety and autism, and how to ask the right questions of your prescriber. Balanced, calm, evidence-based. If you'd like to join us, the sign-up link is in the show notes. And if you can't make it live, register anyway and we'll send the replay. Now, let's talk about something that feels very present in my house right now. It's GCSE options time. And even as a doctor, even as someone who understands neurodiversity, I can feel the anxiety creeping in. Because GCSE's choices feel big. They feel permanent, they feel defining, they feel like doors are opening or closing. And when you're parenting a neurodiverse child, whether that be dyslexia, ADHD, autism, or combination, it can feel heavier. You might be asking, will they cope? I know I am. Will they keep up? Are they choosing something that's going to overwhelm them? Are we limiting their future before it's even begun? And underneath that all, there is fear. I know I have it. Fear that they're behind already, fear that they're not academic enough, fear that the system is not built for them, which is true. And if you're feeling this, you're not being dramatic. You're being a parent who cares. So let's just zoom out a moment. One of the most important things we understand about all neurodiversity is that executive functioning develops more slowly. Now in ADHD, they talk about this 30% delay compared to their peers. And that doesn't mean a lower intelligence, it doesn't mean lower potential. It means that a 15-year-old with ADHD may have the executive functioning of a 10 or 11-year-old in certain areas, such as planning, organization, time management, working memory, emotional regulation, all of the key ingredients that you need when taking a GCSE. So when schools are asking for GCSE's decisions when kids are 12, 13, 14, we need to sometimes remember we're asking our children to make long-term strategic decisions with a brain that is still developing in its regulatory systems. So that matters. It means indecision is not laziness, overwhelm is not defiance, and avoidance is often anxiety. And here's the hopeful part. Delay does not mean deficit. The brain is still developing, the trajectory is still unfolding. So now here is the pivot. Because while we talk about delay, we must also talk about design. Their brains are not broken versions of a neurotypical brain, they're just wired differently. And what they struggle with in structured academic systems often becomes their strengths in the adult world. So you know my experiences with ADHD brains, but let's think about this. So ADHD brains are built for big picture thinking. They're creative, they have a high risk tolerance. They don't, they're not, sorry, not high risk. They like high risk. They have fast ideas like popcorn popping in the head. Huge high-energy bursts. And when they find a topic that they're really interested in, they hyperfocus in a way that others can't. They have an amazing emotional intensity and a great capacity for innovation. None of these things are tested on the GCSE. In fact, they're not. But actually, all of those things are what makes leaders great. They're all traits that entrepreneurs use. They're all important in the creative industries. And they're all important for people who want to start up their own businesses. So let's look at some re real examples. So I had the pleasure of going and listening to Joe Malone speak. And, you know, what was super interesting is her teachers in school told her that she would amount to nothing. Okay? And that was kind of what education was telling her. And she left school actually with dyslexia at 15. And you know what? Was she amounting to nothing? No. She built a global fragrance empire. And she spoken openly at this talk about how her dyslexia made her think about doing things differently and made her creative and made her business instincts different than other people. So all of those were positives. Another one that I know a lot of us know about is Richard Branson. And, you know, he is speaks very openly that he left school at 16. He really struggled academically. He has dyslexia and ADHD traits. But you know what? He's built the Virgin Group into hundreds of companies. School was not where he's shown, but entrepreneurship definitely was. And you know what's super interesting about him is when Epstein tried to like, you know, get close to him, he investigated him and he cut all ties with him before anything was known. And I know that a lot of people out there didn't do that. So it kind of shows, wow, he could think out of the box and see people for who they were. Another one is Ingvar Komproad. And he is a guy who started IKEA. And he had dyslexia as well and ADHD traits, which he spoke about later in life. But his challenges with reading and writing influenced how he just designed IKEA, which I know I don't know about you, but I love going there. You know, simple product names, visual catalogs, flat pack systems, efficiency and accessibility. What school labeled as difficulty became design thinking. He built one of the most recognizable global brands in the world. GCSEs matter, but they're not destiny. They're stepping stones. They're not identity markers. They're A-level pivots for college roots, apprenticeships, university foundation years. There are other paths. There are entrepreneurial paths, there are creative industries, there's trades, there's digital careers that didn't even exist 10 years ago. So what does this mean for us as parents sitting in the kitchen table just freaking out? What it means for us is we've got to look at our kids and choose the subjects that spark interest. What are the subjects that drive our kids dopamine? What are the subjects that our kids are motivated for? Because those are the subjects that are going to drive performance. If a subject lights them up, then they're going to outperform expectations. If the subject drains them, no matter how much pressure you put on them, you're not going to create a sustainable success. And I'll be honest with you, I still feel the wobble. I still look at the forms and think, God, what if I get this wrong? But then I look at my daughter and I look at her creativity, her emotional debt, her humor, her resilience, her love of drama, her way of thinking that's entirely her own. And I have to remind myself, my job is not to engineer a perfect CV for her. My job is to protect her self-belief because self-belief will carry her further than GCSE grades ever could. So if you're in this season two, take a deep breath. Your child is not behind. Their brain is developing on its own timeline. Okay? Stop comparing them. 30% delay does not mean 30% less future. It just means 30% more originality. The education system measures one type of success. The real world, it rewards many. So if you'd like to support, you know, your child, and whether that's with medication, maybe, um I'm a huge supporter of it, and I think I can see the benefits in my child. Um, but tonight is our masterclass with Dr. Giaroli, and you know, he's gonna answer all of your questions. There's gonna be a QA as well. So click on the link in the show notes if you're interested in coming this evening, even if you just want the replay, because if I have your email, I can send it to you. Um, but the thing I love about him is he's based in research, he's calm, he's evidence-based, and he's got years and years of experience working as a clinical psychiatrist and prescribing, and you know, he's written books about it. He's an amazing, down-to-earth person. He actually explains it in a way that you can understand. So you don't have to navigate it alone, and it's worth listening to. I hope that you've enjoyed uh listening. You know, this is something that I'm going through right now, and I know a lot of my listeners are as well, so I wanted to share it with you. And if it's not right now in your future, you know, as you move towards it, just take some of the pressure off, take that foot off the pedal. You know, I'm sending a huge hug to all the parents who are like me, staring at these GCSE options and just wondering, you know, if their child will be okay. They will, I promise you, and so will you know.