The Leader Mentality
The Leader Mentality
Pizza, Peers, And Purpose
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We sit down with Eden to unpack how a simple pizza meetup can change the landscape for young adults with disabilities, from isolation to community, from coping to confidence. We share practical ways leaders can remove barriers and build teams where everyone thrives.
• why local support vanishes after school for many young adults with disabilities
• how a peer-led pizza meetup creates real connection and networking
• what stereotypes get wrong about autism and disability
• why “high functioning” and “low functioning” labels harm
• constructive coping strategies that beat destructive shortcuts
• strength-based coaching for self-advocacy and career readiness
• the social model of disability and workplace design
• leadership practices for clarity, feedback and universal design
• event details, RSVP info and age range
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Welcome to the Leader Mentality Show with Rob Clemens. We are here with a special show today, right in sunny Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. If you're listening, I don't know if you're listening to this on a recording or if you're listening right after we put it live, but this is sort of January at Myrtle Beach, and I gotta tell you, January at Myrtle Beach is a nice place to be. It's uh it's not hot yet, it's still it's kind of warming up a little bit. We got a little seasonality going. So anyway, beautiful day. But as always, with the Leader Mentality show, I want to bring value to people because we as human beings are people designed to uplift others. I truly believe that. I believe every time you see a catastrophic event across the country, if when a hurricane hits, when flooding happens, when uh disasters happen, I see the people of this country giving out quickly to go help. I mean, people are willing to donate time and money, and it tells me that as human beings, we are an uplifting people and we want to help others. And today I want to bring a person on the show who is has a mission to do just that. Uh he has a foundation uh that is actually uh specifically doing I'm gonna let him talk about it when I introduce him on the on the show here in a minute. But his name is Eden Alan, and he has been in a uh system. He is a former shunce up Coastal Carolina grad, so we always love them, but we'll get to that in his background. Eden, welcome to the show, my friend. What's up, man? Hey, doing well, doing well, you know. You're hitting the social networks. I've seen you out there, I've heard you're uh what doing your BI groups and just getting out and raising awareness. But for the people who don't know you, let's talk about what you're raising awareness for.
SPEAKER_00:Sure. So recently I decided to start organize an event right now called a well, it doesn't have a specific title to it, it's called a casual pizza meetup. And basically, I'm organizing a meetup where young adults with disabilities get to meet up in like a little pizza place to talk, peer networking, and build some community. Because a lot of times, uh a lot of complaints I hear like there isn't really a lot of young people around this area, and there isn't a lot of support out there for young adults with disabilities specifically. So I decided, like, you don't want, I want to make my own, my own bloody club. So that's why I did it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Right on, right. So let me ask you about the uh casual pizza meetup. And yeah, and again, this one is gonna be on uh this this Saturday.
SPEAKER_00:Uh January 24th.
SPEAKER_03:January 24th, and uh, and it's gonna be over here at uh uh Casual Pizza. Where do they uh go to uh attend this event at?
SPEAKER_00:Oh sure, they they they are they RSVP me to add my email or the text number that's on it. Okay. So they can do email me at at Eden E D N at Coastal Compass Coaching.com. And it's gonna be at, funny enough, one of my father's pizza restaurants, which a little fun fact, my family owns five pizza restaurants, so not to not to brag too much.
SPEAKER_03:Hey, I love a good pizza. Now that's a whole other story.
SPEAKER_00:But I'll tell you this is at 2702 North Kings Highway. That's where the location will be.
SPEAKER_03:Very cool, very cool. And if you want to get with uh Edin about that, it's Edin at coastalcompasscoaching.com. Uh, I guess you can also call at 843-501-2962. Yeah. Um, and if you want to get involved with that, now let's talk about this, right? Yeah. Um, this is a current event that you're working on, right? I think I you have a passion for this, and I appreciate it. We're gonna get into your background in a bit. Yeah but are there many events for people uh of this nature, or did you do this specifically because you're not seeing enough events for people? I am not seeing enough.
SPEAKER_00:I'm not seeing enough. I'm gonna be real with you. I mean, um it's just the problem is that in Hori County specifically, there isn't a lot of support out there after high school for young adults with disabilities like myself. I mean, there's stuff for kids with disabilities, like you might see like APA therapy or whatever, or you might see like seniors with disabilities. But for a lot of us, after we're done in high school or we get our diploma, it's like, okay, what next? And on site, and honestly, there are times where um there are times where we feel segregated from the community in the sense where um we don't know how to integrate the community, we don't know how to network, the times where we're just confused on where to start. We're even just afraid to make that first step to make those connections. Yeah. So well, I mean, uh, that's a lot of things a lot of people face already, whether we have a disability or not. But think of it as more like an amplification if you are a person with disability. Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, well, no, that's a great point. You know, I think we uh any human being, sometimes you feel alone and you feel like maybe you're the only one going through something, and there's a power in knowing that you're not the only one. And there's a power in being able to share your stories with others who can actually receive that and say, Yes, I've been through that. Maybe sometimes you get a great tip from somebody. You know, hey, I I feel this some way. Hey, look, when I feel like that, I do this, and it's a great way for people to uh maybe better themselves and better others.
SPEAKER_00:Or simply just give me advice and say, like, hey, I don't know how to study properly. And I might be like, okay, maybe just instead of like crunching to study, like doing like two hours straight of studying, you can just do to study for 15 minutes, take a break, and go back to like that type of to sell. Yeah, really like this type of event, it's just more like a networking group and peer support because I didn't want to because a lot of times I see some events are like it's for people with disabilities, but you can tell that it's mostly for like for kids and parents. And I wanted to change that narrative, be like, no, this event is not for parents. I respect you guys, but this is one where I want to put people with disabilities at the forefront.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, 100%. Well, let's let's talk about what you mean when you say people with disabilities. You know, if there's somebody listening to this, and or or if you have a family member, a friend, somebody that you think can take advantage of this, who is this person? When you mention disabilities, there's all sorts of disabilities. Is this for everybody with a disability or is there a specific uh idea here?
SPEAKER_00:So I'll start with something interesting. I'll get to that question. It's like according to the World Health Organization, at least 20% of the population or 20% have at least a significant disability. And that doesn't count for those who are not diagnosed, or say, those who have not been diagnosed yet. Yeah. And even then, that gives you like a little bit of a picture of how diverse the disability community is because you have people who are deaf, um, blind, or low-seeing, also autistic, intellect disability, dyslexia, um, physical disabilities, or even like temporary disabilities like breaking your arm one day, or those with PTSD, depression. It's a very, very big community. Yeah. It's very diverse, and that's what I love about it. So when I say people with disabilities, I really mean people with disabilities of all kinds. Because during my time in advocacy, and I'll get to that soon later on the show, but basically I have worked with people who were blind or low vision. I work with people who have who use service dogs. I also had many autistic friends in the community, and also those who are also have AHD, which by the way, being both autistic and AHD is quite a funny combo. It's quite a funny combo.
SPEAKER_03:I feel like there's some kind of a story here, I know. So let me ask you this, and so to go back to 20%.
SPEAKER_00:You said people that there's about 20% of the population has some sort of that's what that at least 20 20% of coin, the World Health Organization organization has at least a significant disability. But of course, it's like that doesn't just that doesn't really include all types of disabilities and mentions significant disabilities. Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_03:Well, exactly. I mean the number probably bitch larger if we were to take uh all kinds of levels of of things. But yeah, but to go back to your point, you're standing in a room right now, you might be at a at an office right now with 20 people around you, and there's a fair chance that somewhere around, you know, at 20 people, four of them have some kind of a significant disability, and I think that's important.
SPEAKER_00:Or even just or even just they say being autistic, EHD, or anything like that. In fact, um, in this office, I'm willing to bet at least money. Well, not too much money. I don't want that. I'm not bet to be I don't know. We love betting on the show. No, I'm just saying. No, no, no, no. I to be clear, I don't gamble. Don't gamble is a bad habit. It's a bad habit.
SPEAKER_03:That's a pro tip. Anyway, all right.
SPEAKER_00:But yeah, I'd be willing to bet in this building there's at least one person who has a disability but is not a parent. Because not all disabilities are visible. Like, for example, arthritis. You can't really see arthritis until someone tells you. Sure. Unlike, say, like if someone breaks an arm one day, you'll be able to see it. Or times where someone has a chronic illness, you wouldn't even know anyway. Right. So a lot of times we think about people with disabilities, we tend to have a little bit of a bad habit of focusing more on people with physical disabilities. Yeah. Like when I say disability, you might think like wheelchair or the guy with like the white cane, like trying to go from the neighborhood, or even like a guy with a service animal. But it's like, well, I mean, I mean, look at this way. The time, the amount of times I tell people that I'm autistic, they're like, oh, you don't look autistic. At first, I always those type of reactions, I'm like, we're out. It's like, what do you mean I don't look autistic? Yeah, but what does it look like? What does that look like? Like, are you thinking like Rain Man Autistic? Like, what are you talking about?
SPEAKER_03:Right, right, right. No, I mean, I it's it's a valid point, but uh it and I think this gets back to where you're going with this, Adam. You're trying to create an awareness of look, you know, if you're thinking that a person who's autistic is I and and and I mean, you know, whatever stereotypes you created in your head based on a movie or something that you've seen, um, it may not be correct at all, and uh is likely not correct. So you're trying to bring awareness.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and most of the time, at least 90% of it is just incorrect. Yeah. Because not everyone is like, especially for I can only speak for me in the autistic community. I can only speak for that group, but I can tell you that not everyone, I know it's surprising, not everyone is a savant, not everyone wears grass glasses, not everyone looks white, like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. We're not like that. And some of us, not everyone likes dinosaurs.
SPEAKER_03:You know what's funny when you say that? The truth of the matter is, is there's a beauty in mainstream media and that you bring awareness to things, but sometimes you bring like too much specific awareness to a specific level of something. So uh like use the reference of Rain Man, and you know, of course, we have listeners of the show who wouldn't even know what the reference is. Yeah, they're you know if you're 25 or under, you probably are having a hard time with that. But the idea is Rain Man, you know, Dustin Hoffman played the role. And great actor. Yeah, brilliant actor, and it's a brilliant movie. But his uh one of his things he could do in that movie is he could count very quickly, and he was a very good uh mathematician to an expert savant level. Yeah. And so people probably have drawn the correlation of, hey, you're autistic, man, you must be really good with math. And you're saying no, that's not.
SPEAKER_00:I despise math. Sure, sure. Like that's a reason why I went for my master's communication focusing on on qualitative data rather than quantitative data. Yeah. Because I hate math. I don't mind doing surveys or doing that type of research, but for me, I think I didn't do my degree just to do um a lot of math. Yeah, I didn't I like I hate math.
SPEAKER_03:Well, let's go into something then. I w I want to go back a step. So this is to to anybody that hears this that feels they have a disability, yeah, that would like to be a part of this. And I think that's a great thing. So we're gonna make that shout out. Come on out on January 24th, and you know how to reach them. Uh call 843-501-2962 and uh get involved and and find some fellowship. And when we talk about something, yeah, and we talk about sometimes coping mechanisms. I think we all need this. Look, if you're listening to the show, you're a manager, you're a person striving to be your best, you're a person who's in a leadership position, sometimes we need coping mechanisms. Yeah. Let me explain what I mean. I'm gonna give you one right now. Here, I I heard this. I'm no I'm no you know clinical psychologist, but sometimes people said you you start to feel stressed.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Uh you you might be about to go on stage and do a uh some kind of a presentation, you're feeling very nervous about it. There is a trick you can do with your breathing, and it and it's like this, and I'm gonna kind of I'm gonna kind of show you how it's supposed to be. It's one deep, deep, deep breath, one more short breath when you think you can't suck it anymore, followed by a slow release. So it would look sort of like this would be now I what I've done is I have created something to kind of ease my mind a little bit. So it's a long, deep inhale, a short inhale. You're gonna suck in just a little bit more and then let it out. It's amazing how it can kind of calm your mind. And now, I'm just using example. Yes, there can be many tricks that people have for ways to cope.
SPEAKER_00:There are a lot of ways. And also I like to mention real quick is that like I said, the pizza, um, the casual pizza me up is not just for I want to make it clear is that it's for young adults like myself, like professionals, so it'd also be a good network opportunity for you guys. And I already have a few RSVPs already, so I would love to have you guys come over and just network and be with our peers like yourself.
SPEAKER_03:I I love that. Uh ages are 18 to 35. So when he talks young people, you're, you know, hey, look, young is a state of mind, but also specifically he's looking for 18 to 35.
SPEAKER_00:You sound young to me.
SPEAKER_03:So but but it's important because it you do want to kind of have some kind of a group that you can say, hey, look, we're in similar age range. And that goes back to your point. There are uh a lot of support for people who are in school, uh, you know, high school and younger that might have that, or people who are at a certain age, but maybe this is a group that you feel a little like you're not getting that kind of fellowship that you need, and at least a great opportunity.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I love that. But anyway, let me go back to the coping thing you mentioned. Yeah. So there's a lot of ways to cope, and the issue is what I find with parents, and this leads to and and don't worry, it leads to answering your question. I always like make a little like a like make a little like a spire web of ideas, and they all somehow connect with each other, and you're like, how do they connect? I'm like, hold your thoughts. Yeah, right, yeah. Let me cook for a second. Yeah. So basically, why I find that on average, a lot of parents, and for parents who are listening, I would really suggest listening to this. A lot of parents fall into the trap of telling their child who have a disability that they do not have a disability.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Because the reason is, and this also leads to the coping net mechanism, is that the problem is, if you keep on telling your child they don't have a disability, and I know you say this with good intention, but you think like you don't want them to think that they're less than or not capable. But let me tell you why you're probably doing more harm than good. I think the f the first reason I can tell you is that for me, because I was not told, and I'm not trying to go that far ahead, but because I was not told that I had this ability for a long time, I always thought I felt like I was the outlier of a group. I felt like an outcast, I felt like I was weird and I didn't know why I felt weird. But when I found out I was autistic, I was like, oh, I'm not weird. And there's people like me out there, so I'm not weird. And the second and probably also another very important reason, is that when it comes to coping magazine, the problem is for if you don't the problem is that people with disabilities, particularly those who are autistic and have different needs, where it'd be like say social sensory needs or vice versa, you if you don't tell them they have a disability, they're not gonna know how to deal with those sensory issues. Because they're just gonna be like gonna try to overpower it or try to say, what's the saying? Like trying to muscle through it or like reinforce it. Yeah, power through it. Yes. And the p problem is, and there's stories I hear where there are there were autistic people who didn't know they're autistic and they felt like they were not social enough. So what they do as a coping mechanism, they were drinking copious amounts of alcohol to try to get that buzz and try to be more social. But the problem is, as you and I both know, alcoholism is a very bad coping mechanism. Yeah. Whereas if he knew he was autistic, and that's when he was saying the story, there was a book I was reading called Unmasking Autism. And in that story, he mentioned that once he found he was autistic, he decided to explore a more healthier coping mechanism that isn't just alcohol. So by knowing that you're autistic, you will actually know what coping mechan coping mechanisms actually work for you rather than trying to go for coping mechanisms that are that do not work with you, like alcoholism.
SPEAKER_03:Interesting. I like it. I I really appreciate that you mentioned and you said let him cook. Boy, you just cooked something big there. And I say that because a coping mechanism can be good or bad. Yeah. And and you gotta make sure that, you know, like as you said, some people might use a coping mechanism as some kind of a mind-altering substance. We don't need that. In fact, it's better to accept something that you that you have, but then find ways to uh maximally and effectively uh deal with that item and and maybe even make it a strength of yours in some way.
SPEAKER_00:Right. Like for example, I have an autistic friend in Charleston, and for him, one of the ways he de-stressed himself after a party is not through alcoholism, it's just having like a day off tomorrow and just relaxing in his blanket in bed and just watch TV. Yeah. Because that's a way healthier coping that mechanism than than drinking alcohol to hopefully get that buzz to be social.
SPEAKER_03:I I like that. You know, you're talking about a constructive coping mechanism versus a destructive coping mechanism. Maybe we could kind of call it like that. Well, Eddie, I appreciate it, man, and I hope that everybody gets a chance to come out and uh take part in that. 18 to 35 year olds that have disability, and uh, I think this is gonna be a great event. Tell me a little bit about your company. So you so you own Coastal Compass Coaching.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Uh tell me a little bit about what you guys do. Sure. So it's funny you said guys because there's only one person in it, me. But I'll give you the summary of it. So basically why I always tell people about what my company is is that my company is a type of service that I wish I had when I was much younger. Like during college or high school. And the reason being is that my coaching service involves providing tailored one-on-one support to young adults and teenagers with disabilities with their self-advocacy, career readiness, and their independent living skills. I also very much focus on disability from a strength-based point of view rather than from a weakness-based point of view. So I focus more on how we take advantage of your strengths rather than say, like, assume me from weakness. Like, for example, when someone tells me like they love, like, this is like a little funny example, they tell me like all this stuff about Star Wars, they go talk all this stuff about the lore and all that. And I'm like, you know, you do a very good job of deconstructing the information, and you're very good at telling people and teaching people about these new concepts. You could be in some sort of teaching position, like that type of thing. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, okay, okay, yeah, you're very good at deconstructing information, and that's a very valuable skill for any leader to be able to deconstruct information. Agreed. So that's one example. I also do, and this is just for me in general, outside of my company. I follow the independent living philosophy, which is a disability concept that was first founded during the 1970s during the civil rights movement, where the philosophy based the idea that people with disabilities are not only not only want to be integrated into the community, but also we're the best experts in our own needs. So we know that we want to be social, we want to date, we want to have jobs, we know we're capable. It's just society have these barriers in place, and we want to make decisions that is based on what we want bar rather than someone else making decisions for us. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me. Um So I tried to really try to drill that in for. My clients is that like you are capable, and for you and me, society has always told like these negative images, or even just like telling us that we have people with disabilities are either um, I wouldn't say like very directly, but implied where people with disabilities won't be able to find work, people with disabilities may not be able to find love, or people with disabilities just don't have a lot of great ambition. But for me, I'm like, nah, screw that. We do have ambition, we do want to communicate, and most importantly, we want to integrate. We want to be in the same spaces as you guys.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. Uh so if if somebody were to come to you and they said, Hey, look, uh, you know, I need some help, you would say, What are what are some of the most common things that you think uh that you're able to help people with? Like i if you have one, you know, it's like let me let me set the stage for that question. So I own a company that does home building, um large remodeling and real estate. Okay. Um but if you said, What's the most common things you're doing? I'm like, look, porch enclosures are very popular right now. Everybody wants to be outdoors. So what would you say are some of the most popular things, not popular, but some of the most common things you're doing?
SPEAKER_00:Right. My business was open early on during around July 6th. So I'm still trying to slowly build up awareness of my community. But I will say the most common thing is my coaching. In particular, what I noticed recently is that a lot of potential clients or consultations or some clients, I noticed they need they needed a lot of support in their self-advocacy. So what I do is that usually in these types of what would say these consultation calls, I get an idea on who they are, how I feel, on what should we prioritize. Always give them like a little questionnaire to see what they want to prioritize. Yeah. And most of the time, it's usually self-advocacy. So what it looks like in practice is that I might I would create like a lesson plan for like say for the 8th session or 16th session, depending on what package they want to do. And it will focus, some of it might focus on, say, try to reframe your language and how you call yourself. Like, for example, um like some people with disabilities, and I was guilty of this dude, where every time I talk about myself, it was always with a but. So, like, I'm I mean, I'm good, but I don't think I'm smart, or I'm great, but I'm awkward. Sure. Always with a butt. So I always so one of those sessions might focus on trying to reframe that and try to avoid that and try to think about more like say, if you're being called stubborn, for example, reframe that by being persistent. So or being like, say, instead of being weird, call yourself unique. Right. It's a it's a positive mindset.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, and and it's and it's very much geared on on what you're putting into your mind. Is it am I putting negative in or am I putting positive in?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and you want to try to separate a thought from action. Yeah. Because the thing is about anxiety or just any indecision. Both of those sectors have one thing in common is that they're afraid of action. So the point thing remember is that nothing is going to be clean and everything's going to messy. Like things are going to be messy, getting a job is going messy. So I always tell people you have to embrace the mess if you want to engage with the world, because the world is a messy place. And I really want to emphasize that there's nothing wrong with you. And honestly, the idea of normal or normality does not apply in my circle or within my coaching practices because I don't believe in normal. Yeah, I believe in people.
SPEAKER_03:I think it's fair to say that uh everybody's unique in their own way. And I I'll go this far. I'll I'll just say that yeah, uh it's natural for people to sometimes feel like you're the only one who is like something. That's where we start the show at. But when you when you can open up your doors and say, oh, there's there's a lot of people that might feel like I do, and here's the most beautiful part. Sometimes it's good to hear from those people, and sometimes it's good to not be around everybody. You know, that you've got to have a good healthy collection because in the mixes of people and discussion, you you learn great things about people along the way. So very cool. Uh Ed, and how uh did you get into this? You know, I I I believe, like we said, Coastal Carolina shots up always. Um, but tell me a little bit about your background and just how you got here to to starting Coastal Compass coaching.
SPEAKER_00:Oh man, I mean, do you want the SparkNote version of it?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, well, probably uh probably for the show purposes, yes.
SPEAKER_00:Uh not the novel, the Cliff Notes, yes. Okay, so basically, I was a young boy when I was born in the hospital. Actually, wait, let me let me fast forward. He's gonna go way back. I'm gonna go way back, way back, back when I loved dinosaurs, which I still do, by the way. That's the only stereotype that applies to me.
SPEAKER_03:The the the the best dinosaur out there is what? Uh T-Rex?
SPEAKER_00:Uh it's actually the Thresosaurus. Oh, okay. It's basically a dinosaur. It's probably you're I'm not sure what Jurassic World World movie it was in, but it's basically like this Jurassic era dinosaur where it's a herbivore, but it had like these big long claws that if it were like it went from here to there. Okay. Like very big long claws, even though it's it's a herbivore.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. Yeah, that which is kind of odd, yeah. Yeah, okay, I got you.
SPEAKER_00:Basically, it was it it was like a it's like a Wolverine dinosaur. Sure, sure. Yeah, I mean, alright. So uh, but but yeah, so let me fast forward. Yeah. So basically, um I graduated from Murray Beach High School and it was during around that time, even before that, where I never knew I was autistic or even had a disability whatsoever. So throughout most of my life, I didn't really have a lot of friends. My only best friend at the time was my father, which he still is, obviously. Yeah, for sure. It's just that I just didn't really have a lot of peers or friends who were not only like me, but also I just had a hard time of integrating with the other kids. Because I felt like they were more normal than me. And after I graduated from high school, I went to Wory, Georgetown Tech to get my associates. I went to Coastal Carolina. By the way, every time Tilmation. Yeah, always. By the way, every time I mention Coastal Carolina, you're gonna see this. Yeah. So I went to Coastal Carolina to do my bachelor's in communication. And it was during that time when I discovered I was autistic because I went through my 504 IEP plan in like this little um orange, what do you call it? Um, I'm I'm blanking out like this, where you where you have like this little blinder, like this orange blinder, you put paper inside of it, and like this little metal, um does it have a name? Like you know what I'm talking about. Like you put you put the documents inside this thing and you close it. Okay. And you do it like this.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, I got no, I know what you're talking about, though. Yeah, it's a file of some sort.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I don't even know they have a name. But anyway, I digress. The point is that I looked for it and mentioned all these things about Asperger syndrome, mentioned about my IQ score, and I was like, what the hell is this? And I went went online to look it up, and all this stuff it was talking about online, talking about how Asperger was like a condition, a disease, and all that. So all like this bad stuff. So it made me think like I was sick or something. But I went to my old special education teacher, and she told me how I forgot most of the conversation I had with her, but I do remember her saying something like this where no matter what, Adam, you will always be Eden. And for me, I decided to play catch up and learn about my disability, who I am, it just really kind of like reinvented myself a little bit, and I became more of a social butterfly, I became more engaged with my professors, the other students, and whatnot. So I will say learning that I had I had a disability greatly boosted my confidence. Oh yeah. And after I was done with Coastal, I decided I went to Clemson University. By the way, if you have any tiger reps in the show, anyone, any tigers? Plenty of Tigers fans out there. I know a couple listening, yeah. Yeah, and by the way, sorry, Game Cox. Sorry, Game Cox. And um so I went to get my master's in communication at Clemson, and that's when I really went on full gears with the disability advocacy. So that's when I did some disability workshops about how to be inclusive for students with disabilities in the classroom. I also was working in a nonprofit called Able at C, which was a disability-led nonprofit which focused on helping young adults and teenagers with disabilities with their self-advocacy skills and independent living skills, and also just generally advocating for disability rights in the state of South Carolina. Okay. And so I did my masters, I did all this advocacy work, and oh man, I always tell people, and even then I forgot one thing is that I also was a graduate teaching assistant, which meant that I taught classes as well, and I did a lot of public speaking touring, and those classes were all about, well, public plus public speaking. I did the project-based portion of the course. So you notice how I was juggling a lot, but I was a bad juggler. So I went through a lot of stress, I had like a little nervous breakdown, I needed therapy, which by the way, everyone needs therapy. So I always recommend getting a therapist. Sure. And yeah, it was a a rough time in my life, especially near to the finish line, as it were. And after I was done with my masters, I was greatly relieved because that meant when things might start to look up. Well, not quite. It's basically I went through job searching for almost two years. Like I went through a bunch of interviews, I tailored my resumes, I tried to go through mock interviews with some of my friends before the job. I bring my notes during interviews as well to try to be prepared. But all this time, I always felt like I was looked over or I felt like they weren't really taking, they weren't, they didn't really like I was basically getting ghosted all the time when I asked for P feedback and didn't receive feedback. When I tried to follow up, being like, hey, um, you have any updates about the status of my application? Like short polite emails. Sure. But I never heard back from those as well. In fact, you know what's funny? Some of the applications that I applied for, I kept on hearing back of their status seven or eight months after the fact. Wow. So I'm like, okay, yeah, yeah, good to know that I didn't got the job after eight months. Yeah, right, right, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I was hanging on for that eight months. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I was waiting on my eight months just for you guys. But yeah, and also it just really hurt where Son and Wood, there was one time where, and I'm gonna fast track it through my company for a second, where basically one of them when I, after I did the interview that I felt I did good on, I got a call from one of one of the hiring managers where they were like, oh, um, I want to let you know they didn't got the job because we found a better candidate. And I was a little bit, a little bit wimplash a little bit because I was like, What do you mean a better candidate? I didn't say that, but I was like, Yeah. So you're so like you say it's an age-old question.
SPEAKER_03:When somebody doesn't pick you, you're you're you're going, well, what does that mean? And and I think there's a whole thing I would say to leaders in that situation of how you should present that in a way that is constructive, not in a way that's potentially destructive and and almost human.
SPEAKER_00:Which is very destructive. And also it's just bad HR practice to tell someone that we found someone better than you. Yeah. That just that's very, that's very, that's unprofessional. I'm just gonna say that. And after all those times, I decided to be like, you know what? Screw this. I decided to try to make my own job security, but I felt like, I mean, you probably know Einstein's quote where if you're doing the same thing over and over again, well, not much is gonna really change. So I wanted to try something different, and honestly, also because I'm in my 20s, like I want to take risks, but I feel like during your 20s, you're you should always take risk in your when you're in your 20s. That's what I feel like. And I decided that this is a risk I want to take. I want to own my own business, I want to be an entrepreneur, I want to know what's it like to be an entrepreneur. And I decided to do so. Like I had help from my father, and that's the thing as well. I give advice to people, is like, if you want to start your own business, you gotta do it. Like you can't just be like a wanter where you're just like going through all these YouTube videos or just looking at articles about starting your own business. You have to do it. Because there's nothing, there's nothing like quite like owning your business versus say researching about having your own business. And also you don't have to be alone to do it. Like you always have your support network, like your family. Like maybe they know like a good lawyer can help you out with opening an LLC. Maybe like say an accountant that you trust, or maybe like say um family and friends who can refer you to clients. Really, uh uh having your own small business does not mean you have to do this alone. Like you have to also keep in mind that you have a support network out there that if you ask for help, I'm sure they're more than willing to help you out. So that's always been my thing so far during these past few months, is really is trying to tap into my community, let them know that I exist, tell them how I do these workshops, I want to work with them, I want to see how we can best help each other in community. Like I'm very I'm a very community-oriented person, so anything I can do where I can try to build community, like with this event, yeah, like this event, for example, or it's just seen like how I can refer you to this person who might be a better fit to your services, like a therapist or something. And to be clear, Coastal Compass Coaching does not provide therapeutic services. I have to mention that. Yeah, yeah, I got you. I got you.
SPEAKER_03:No, that's fair. It's kind of uh we got about five minutes left, and let's talk about some of the things that Yeah, I know, I know, right. Uh so it's surprising that we uh had a lot to talk about today. Um, but let's talk about some things that you think are good awareness for uh the disability community a little bit, and and just things that uh advice for listeners and people who want to be helpful and constructive and and maybe even just open up your your your recognition of things. So uh I'll kind of open up the floor to you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, generally generally speaking, some of my advice I want to offer is more focused on shifting the mindset and also switching from how you look at disability. So, for example, the first tip I always give to people is understand that disability, like the word disability, is neither good nor bad. It just is because disability is a natural part of the human experience, and eventually people will experience it at some point. I mean, I'm sure you've broken an arm at some point, and I'm sure at some point you might have depression, or at some point um all of us already beat you to the race. Like for me, I'm autistic. I was I was like that since I was born. And so naturally, and also it just comes with aging because at some point as you age, your body is gonna have a disability at some point. It's not an if, it's a when. So when you look at this booty as just is, you realize that, well, there's nothing really wrong with being disabled because at the end of the day, it just is. Yeah, that's part of our experience. And then another thing, and this is more focused on autism specifically, but please move away from terms like high functioning and low functioning. The reason being because those terms in the autistic community, we don't like those, and also we feel they're inaccurate because high functioning implies that we're normal, or because we fit what we what you perceive to be normal society-wise, even though we might have RSD going on that you don't see. Low functioning, I you might think, suggests the person with low functioning might be incapable, even though the person who who's quote unquote low functioning might be able to live on their own. Maybe need some maybe maybe they might need some supervision, but they can like cook or do some basic house chores, something like that. Yeah. Yeah, so that's why I want you to shift the mind, shift it from because overall there are at the end of the day, people who are autistic are just autistic at the end of the day. And some people may have more support needs than others, but we're still autistic at the end of the day, and there's no high functioning or low functioning to it.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, okay, gotcha.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and also another thing as well, is try to read books and memoirs written by people with disabilities because if you want to shift how you look at people with disabilities, you have to you have to read and be exposed to all types of stories from people with disabilities. I'm talking about people with depression, wheelchairs, because it's a very diverse community, as you can imagine. And some of the things I always like start off is something like, say, like disability visibility, first-person stories from the 21st century. That book is basically a collection of small stories and biographies from many types of people with disabilities. And then there's like demystifying disability, which basically kind of like a like if you're new to understanding disability as both a culture and also how like say um how to talk about disability or how to interact with it, it's a good starting point. Yeah, so that's great. So that's one. The other thing as well is that you have to shift your understanding of disability from a purely medical model to a social one. And the reason being because in America we have this habit, it's been like this since God, since the first since the country was first created, we tend to look at disability as something more from a medical point of view, rather than thinking, like, you know what? Maybe what was more disabling is not so much the disability itself, but also the environmental barriers. Like, like for example, if someone were in wheelchair trying to get into a building, but they can't because of stairs, what's more disabling? The wheelchair? Or the fact the building doesn't have stairs that allow you to get in. Because for a lot of people with wheelchairs, they actually find, I don't again, I don't speak that for that community, but people with wheelchairs, they like their wheelchairs because it gives them the freedom to do what they want that they weren't able to do before without the wheelchair. For sure. So you have to look at disability from not just from a medical point of view, but also from a social lens. And once you do, you realize that there probably is a lot of inaccessibility in the workplace that prevents your employees to do the best they can. Like, say, like not providing, like if you're like a meeting, not providing people with this, not providing people with, say, like a summary of what the meeting would be about, accommodate them in terms like say, like maybe like with the light or fluorescent lysine, or even like the sounds or like sensory. Like for me, for example, my sensory issue is smell. So that means that if there's like a lot of strong smells in the environment, I get like a little bit of headaches. Okay, yeah. So something to be conscientious about because once you eliminate those barriers, disability doesn't really become disabling in that point.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, understood, understood. Well, that's good. So that's four good tips uh that I think people may not have thought about. And they are uh kind of misconceptions that some people have uh in the way that they approach these things. So I I do understand what you mean by the social side.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, one quick thing as well, and this is going back to shifting your understanding from disability from a period medical one to a social one, is that this thing for managers and team leaders, for people who are autistic like myself, we do have trouble on understanding or know about social norms and unwritten social norms in the building or in the workplace. So I think it's always a good idea to try to during the onboarding process is to make sure you let them know about what are some social norms and standards like. And also, maybe also for once per week, and this is something my one of my managers did when I used to work there. I think he they met he met with me at least once a week to give me positive feedback, specific feedback to help me think about how to improve myself. Because if you don't tell me anything or don't tell me how to improve myself, then I don't know how.
SPEAKER_03:So you know, there's a there's an interesting thing, and I think this is a great place for us to kind of uh uh maybe wrap the show up and and it's in that um you know you're mentioning this on a disability level, but I think great uh leadership, yeah, not just great management, but great leadership uh comes with things like constructive feedback. Yeah. And when I say constructive, I I mean that uh firmly. With somebody's best interest in mind, how can you give them some constructive feedback so they can be successful in their environment? I think giving people a quality environment to work in in general. You know, if I've set you up without the tools you need to succeed, I'm failing you. I think some sort of continuous feedback is very important. I think that we as managers so often we're like, hey, I gave them orientation, I told them what I wanted, and then you know, maybe you don't talk again for the rest of the year and you think it's enough to do it. We do need to tell people, look, it's like a roadmap to success. If I see you go in the wrong direction, I want to give you a chance to get back in and order. So I think some of the things you're saying, they're just great leadership principles in general.
SPEAKER_00:They're just good principles in general. That's why I mentioned this specifically for leaders and team manager, is that all the things I tell you today, you'll realize everyone benefits from it at the end of the day. Like everyone benefits from saying from getting like a summary of what the meeting would be about. Everyone benefits from constructive feedback, everyone benefits of it. That's how that's why we call it universal design.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, for sure. Oh, universal. Hey, look, I'm in the building game, and there is something called universal design and building, which is very much about making a house accessible for all people. And by the way, man, I could do a whole show on universal design.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I can. I can do I can do universal design too.
SPEAKER_03:Because the idea is when we're talking about universal design, we're saying not only is it good for you and your family, but it's good for other people that in your family may eventually uh end up having some sort of disability. Right. And so therefore you're making a more marketable product and say, hey, uh, but but we can't get off on that tangent today. Edin, I appreciate you being on the show. The name of his company is Coastal Compass Coaching. Yep. Um, and uh once again, come on out and see him. It's on January 24th. Uh, what are the time frames of that again for the uh the meeting?
SPEAKER_00:Sure. January 24th, it's on Saturday, uh-huh and it's going to be at 12 o'clock p.m. 12 o'clock? Yeah. And uh is there any cost to it? No. The only thing you have to do is like you might you have to pay for food and drinks. Yeah, for sure. I might be able to, no promises. I might be able to get like a large cheese pizza, maybe, but no promises, no promises.
SPEAKER_03:No promises, but there could be a free cheese pizza in it.
SPEAKER_00:Basically, yeah, all right. Yeah, so all you need to do is just show up, yeah, and I'll give you like a little name tag and all that. And yeah, I already have a lot, I already have a few RSVPs, like I said, so I know there are gonna be people coming. So I'd love to see you guys come on board as well and not only just meet your meet peers like you, but also build network. Yeah, because this is a good opportunity for that.
SPEAKER_03:Always network, always be networking. It's a big key in success in a business. Edin, thank you for being on the show. Yeah, nice to meet you. And uh, for those who are listening today, we do appreciate all of our viewers. Thank you for listening to the Leader Mentality Show. Make sure you like and share us on your social media of preference. Uh, check out Edin and his company. Very good things going on. We look forward to you guys going out and inspiring others always. Do your best to lift up your fellow men, and uh hopefully that helps you today. And for all you listening, we'll see y'all next time on the Leader Mentality show with Rob Clemens. And shots up.
