Strangers in the Alps: A Movie Podcast
Four friends are forced to seek shelter in an abandoned cabin in the alps when their road trip is unexpectedly cut short. To stave off cabin fever, they’re slashing through a pile of VHS tapes left behind. Tune in every Thursday as they argue, discuss, and enlighten each other on the movies waiting within the tapes in this podcast mysteriously set up and left behind by someone…or something…The fireplace is lit, the tv is on, and the slashing has just begun!
Strangers in the Alps: A Movie Podcast
S03E18 - Thir13en Ghosts
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Grab your goggles and brush up on your evil squiggly lines cause the Strangers are going on a house tour and you're coming with! Join them as they discuss 2001's William Castle remake "Thir13en Ghosts" starring Tony Shalhoub, Shannon Elizabeth, Matthew Lilard, F. Murray Abraham, and Embeth Davidtz!
Thir13en Ghosts is available to stream on Tubi!
Arthur and his two children, Kathy and Bobby, inherit his Uncle Cyrus's estate: a glass house that serves as a prison to 12 ghosts.
#ghosts #film #reviews #commentary #movies #strangersinthealps #satellite12 #moviepodcast #thirteenghosts #thir13enghosts #cultclassic #tonyshalhoub #matthewlilard #shannonelizabeth #williamcastle
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And welcome to another episode of Strangers in the Alps, a movie podcast, where every week we discuss movies in a fun, glorious, witty, in-depth, challenging ramble. I'm Dan. That's Travis. I'm Sam. Yeah, Frank. And that's Frank.
SPEAKER_03Can I say we need to do end-of-the-year compilation of every time you yell at Travis during a countdown?
SPEAKER_04I would love that. So, Travis, what movie did we watch this week? Can you read it off the back of your VHS? Yes. So wow, he's actually ready.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. He's actually ready because we had a technical.
SPEAKER_01Dan didn't want to turn on his phone again. It's called um 13 Ghosts from 2001. Oh, for God's sake.
SPEAKER_04Can you read the Yes? Because you said it is not called 13 Ghosts. First of all, read the thing, then we'll then we'll discuss where it's actually.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you're gonna love this.
SPEAKER_03We'll spend this first line. We'll spend 30 minutes time with a title. I promise you that.
SPEAKER_01If you thought, if you thought you've heard Dan go on some rants, wait until you hear after this one. Oh boy. A state of the art remake.
SPEAKER_03Remake?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's just a remake. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. So what do the things in the early 2000s? Just breathing first, breathing first. A state-of-the-art remake of the classic William Castle horror film. That's debatable. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_04I would say classics debatable.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I I think it was more William Castle's whole shtick, but I'll go after I'll go there about a family that inherits a spectacular. This is wrong. Spectacular old house? Nah, I wouldn't say that. Spectacular old house from an eccentric uncle. There's just one problem. The house seems to have a dangerous agenda all its own. Trapped in their new home by a by strangely shifting walls, the family encounters powerful and vengeful entities that threaten to annihilate anyone in their path. Wow, okay.
SPEAKER_04That's pretty aggressive. I would say that's accurate. Halfway through, that got accurate. It got kind of on track. It got on track.
SPEAKER_00What's up with all these uh Willem Castle remakes and houses? I mean, they're all about houses. House of Wax, House on Haunted Hill. Um era where they want to do all of the houses.
SPEAKER_04That's a Doctor TV show. It was a second year story.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so what?
SPEAKER_03Weren't they doing like all these houses remake and stuff like that? Well, no, I just had to.
SPEAKER_00House at the end of the street?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, I think it was on the left. I think it was two different things. I think it was you had Our House. No, I don't know.
SPEAKER_04It was a very, very nice house. I don't know. Two cats in the yard. In the middle of the street. Our house.
SPEAKER_00That's not where you put a house.
SPEAKER_01And I don't know what started it, but I just remember in like the early two well, you had two trends in early 2000s. You had them just decided to remake all of William Castle's movies. But it was interesting because they remade them, but Gayer. Way gayer. Um I because I feel like William Castle's whole thing was he did like smell ovision, like, oh, put on your 3D glasses. Because that was the whole thing. So the whole so you know how in this movie, Sam, they have the glasses to be able to see the ghosts. So when the m this movie, the original one, came out in the 60s, the whole gimmick was you went to the movie and they gave you like special pairs of glasses that you would have to put on to see the ghosts. So I feel like 13 glasses. Yeah, so it's so I feel like one for every ghost.
SPEAKER_04You did she change your glasses while you're watching the movie.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, the trade. It was it was like a trade funny. It was like a trading card thing. You had to trade with people. Who has 13? I mean, we can talk about it, but that's the thing. It's like it's like more about it.
SPEAKER_04No, yeah, I don't want to do a whole William Castle thing.
SPEAKER_01No, I'm just saying it's like I feel like I get it. You know who he is. They didn't know it's like they introduced the glasses, but I'm like, there's really no nothing to do with the movie we watched.
SPEAKER_04No, it will not be a good one. Okay, can I just stop you in your tracks? Yes. With all the people. Yeah, I've seen it before. Okay. How freaking crazy and funny was that?
SPEAKER_01Oh, it was amazing.
SPEAKER_04Because you're watching a movie going, are you kidding me? Like it was so goofy. Like everything about it was goofy. Like William Castle, you can't be serious. Like when he gets up and he's like the skeleton of smoking a cigarette. I mean, you're just sitting there going, no.
SPEAKER_00The film you're about to see.
SPEAKER_04You know he's goofy.
SPEAKER_03That goofed me out. That's right.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but and like I said, but that was the whole thing where it was like that was this whole game.
SPEAKER_04But I'm not sure this was supposed to be scary. I'm talking about the original. Was that supposed to be scary? Yes. Really? Um or just kind of goofy scary.
SPEAKER_01I think it was more like a I think it was more like a, hey, like, you know when you go like with your kids when you go trick-or-treating, you kind of have the house that's kind of scary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just seemed like it was one of those where it's like, it's a little scary, but I think it was like, hey, bring out your family for like a spooky. I think it was more like a spooky movie.
SPEAKER_04Like a good drive-in movie. Um okay, pre-thoughts. I'll start. Never heard of the movie?
SPEAKER_01Really?
SPEAKER_04Couldn't find it. Why couldn't I find it, Travis? Why couldn't I find this movie anywhere so I could watch it?
SPEAKER_01Because Dave. Can't you tell me?
SPEAKER_04I have the 13 ghosts. I'll give you two spelling ideas. One, three ghosts, T H I R T E E E N. Oh. Ghosts. Those are the only two ideas I have. And neither one of them produced 13 ghosts. Oh, numerical one, three ghosts. Anywhere. Gotcha. And then what did I find out, Travis?
SPEAKER_01Because you spelled it wrong.
SPEAKER_04And how did I spell it wrong? How's it spelled?
SPEAKER_01T H I R 13 E N. Which makes sense.
SPEAKER_04Can you please pronounce that for me in your best? Thir T ther therapy. Yeah, no one can do it. Third, no, we got it. No, it's a good thing. It's 13 and ghost.
SPEAKER_03Thur13 E ghost.
SPEAKER_01Thur13 ghosts. Well, my thing is if you're gonna do 13 like this, do 3T each. I r one three.
SPEAKER_03Okay, but hold on. I just later. Wait, hold on. This is like what, 2001, right? Yes. MySpace. Hello. That's MySpace where things they just add numbers to words.
SPEAKER_01So Dan R. So I told Dan, oh, who spelled it wrong. And I said, you have to put it that. And then I said it came out in the early 2000s. They thought it was the cool way to spell it. And then Dan, you said, I already hate this movie.
SPEAKER_04True. Right away I went. Okay. If that's how you're spelling your movie, I already hate you. Because that is so stupid.
SPEAKER_00Now get ready for the character arc of the year, cuz.
SPEAKER_03What if Battle Royale had 1-3 battle royal?
SPEAKER_01No, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_03It's 11. B A 11. B-A-11.
SPEAKER_04Battle Royale with cheese. So bad. And then the spelling is so bad. Like, why are you making it work? I can't make it work. You're making it hard for me to find your movie. That is ridiculous. The true with the fans.
SPEAKER_00It's the gimmick of this m remake. See, you know, like the original gimmick of the glass clued me in.
SPEAKER_04So I couldn't find it. Dan, I know you're not like a go for this movie.
SPEAKER_01Dan, spoiler alert. The title isn't that the way that the the way the title spelled is not the worst thing about this movie.
SPEAKER_03I think it's the precursor to how you would feel about the movie, which I feel like I know how you feel.
SPEAKER_04I'm not gonna comment on that because we have a whole podcast. I don't know. Yeah. So that was my pre-thought was I didn't know the movie. Go ahead, Travis.
SPEAKER_01So I was telling you. You must have the timer to know how long it's gonna take. I was it's gonna take me 13 minutes.
SPEAKER_03Hold on.
SPEAKER_01Do you know what I was gonna do? Do you know what I was gonna do, but then I didn't want to do it because Dan would have Dan would have punched me. Travis, do your point. I may still punch you. I was gonna have it because I had it ready for the card. I'm running the clock. I had the backstory for every single one of the 12 ghosts. And I was gonna go over. Tattooed on his back. Travis, this is part of your pre-thoughts too.
SPEAKER_04Can you not do that and just tell us your pre-thoughts?
SPEAKER_01So my pre-thoughts were when this movie was coming out, this, you know, like I said, this was before internet trailers. So you just saw TV spots or you saw the trailer in theaters. This movie on the playground, you could have thought like this was like The Exorcist. Yeah. Like this one was, are you kidding me? You're watching that? You're insane. It was you were the one of the more extreme kids if you watch this movie. This was like, most kids were like, I don't want anything to do with this. Too scary. Okay. So I this was considered but I ended up seeing it. Interesting. So that's what piqued my interest. So I actually ended up, I didn't see it in theaters, but I watched I rented it at Blockbuster when it came out. Okay. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03One minute and two seconds, guys.
SPEAKER_00Not bad. Not bad. Let's see if we can beat it next week. Sam, free thoughts?
SPEAKER_03Like he's taking too long. Frank. Wow, stopping a woman from talking. Um It's not his first time. I was when this movie came out, I was in my like, oh, I'm afraid of horror movies, so I couldn't watch trailers or anything. So I knew about it, just never plan on watching it. And I wouldn't watch it if it's what's not for this podcast.
SPEAKER_01This first time. Because you thought it would have been too scary, you just had no interest. I had no interest.
SPEAKER_03I don't think I like horror movies from like the 2000s.
SPEAKER_00A first timer like me. Frank? You never forget your first um you said it. Um, like Travis, I remember this movie having like a reputation and uh being considered Ooh, that's that's pretty hardcore, bro.
SPEAKER_04And uh so interesting.
SPEAKER_00I think when I finally started dipping into like horror movies, it it took me a second to get to this one. Uh just because I knew the like I remembered, oh, you know, this one's this one's a serious one. Um so when I finally watched it, I was like, oh, okay. That's it. Yeah, that's so interesting. That is so interesting.
SPEAKER_03I I do I I would have shit my pants if I had seen this when it first came out. I would have shit my pants.
SPEAKER_01You shit your pants now Dan, I think it's because and it's very present when you watch this movie now, is this movie, the way it's shot and edited in the sound design, that was the trend in the 2000s. It was really loud, yeah, two second shots, jump scares, up the screen, jump scares, and I mean, like I said, like now when we watch it, now when we watch it, you're like, this movie is horribly edited. But like I I'm not jumping to the end. But I'm just saying, but I think it's I said some will say. I don't disagree with you. I'm just not jumping to the end. I think that was the trend then, so I think that's why when I watched it then, when I was younger, it seemed way more extreme. Like, I think especially because you filled in some gaps. Well, yeah, especially too, like you know the ghost, the jackal, the one with the cage on the head? Yeah, I remember the coolest one for sure. Remember the jackal seeming like it was the jackal was all over the place, and the places and the scenes being very prolonged.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Other than the scene with Shannon Elizabeth, which is the longest one. So then when watching it this time, I'm like, the ghosts aren't really in the movie that long. No.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01At all.
SPEAKER_03How many times have you seen it?
SPEAKER_01Um, in its entirety, I can't say, but no more than like three times. Okay. Okay. Because I watched it. That's the thing, is because I watched it when it first came out. I think I watched it again sometime between 10 to 15 years ago. And then I maybe watch and then I watched it this week for the. Oh, so it's been a long time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Okay. What about you, Frank?
SPEAKER_00I've seen a little more than three times, maybe like five or six.
SPEAKER_03Like, what's the distance between now and last time?
SPEAKER_00Uh, it's every couple years. I don't watch it that often, but every once in a while I do get like a nostalgia.
SPEAKER_04A little itching. Yeah, like itching for some uh forget parts of it. And I'm like, I'll watch it again. Ghosts.
SPEAKER_01But I think we don't know how to pronounce this movie. Thur1 teen eat and ghosts. I think a little bit too, is because you know how we always third one three ean ghosts.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Did you ever see like a movie when you were a kid and you really liked it, but you're like, hey, kid version of kid version of me would really like this movie. Yes. But now that that's why I think I kind of stopped watching this, because I think it's, you know, as I got older, I'm like, you know what? I think this movie very much feels like a time capsule of early 2000s horror movies, and it just really reeks the oh yeah, that was a like a blockbuster rental kind of movie.
SPEAKER_03So I to go off on a tangent, what would be your movie that you loved then but would not dare watch it now in fear of it ruining your experience back then?
SPEAKER_04Unfortunately, I did watch it and it did run it. What was it? I talked about before. Anzio, the New World War II movie. Do you have any other ones? Um I think after that I just didn't re-watch those movies that I had a great memory of. I mean, there was a movie when I was a little kid. I think it's called Fifty Four Days and a war movie. And uh I loved it, but I refuse to watch it again. In fact, I've read about it, and it's supposed to be awful. So wow. I can't I'll try to look at the title.
SPEAKER_01Frown Heston was in movies that you saw as a kid, but you know it's not gonna Well, I know Spawn was probably one of them, but No, I I still love that movie.
SPEAKER_00It's terrible, but I enjoy it for itself.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'm saying like along the lines of that, like movies that you know, you're like, hey, I loved it when I was a kid, but I'm you kinda wanna watch it now.
SPEAKER_03You don't want to watch it now because you're afraid it's gonna ruin what you had. Small Soldiers is a big one for me.
SPEAKER_01I won't watch that movie again. I heard it holds up. I I've been too afraid.
SPEAKER_04Really? Yeah. I couldn't stand that movie. Well, that's because you're old. Because I was an adult when I saw it.
SPEAKER_01Okay, what's the movie that you picked? He was Tommy Lee Jones' age when it came out, so.
SPEAKER_00Um I'm trying to think that uh there's been a couple of movies that we've seen that have kind of gone down for me in terms of like the nostalgia. Um I don't know, there's not really a lot right now that I can think of. Some of the ones that we already covered have been like like if I hadn't seen the if I hadn't had the habit of watching them consistently, I think two would have been like the crow and the craft.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But they hold up for me personally.
SPEAKER_04The crow's gotten better for me. Can we just stop for a second? Because I feel like we need to kind of walk through the plot a little bit for our listeners. Because I don't think that that description you read did not do good. If you can do it like 30 seconds, I don't think it needs more than 30 seconds. No, no, I can do it. But I think we need to understand why this happens, why they go to the house, what happens when they get to the house.
SPEAKER_01Okay, I can explain it very fast.
SPEAKER_04Or do the setup as well.
SPEAKER_01So movie opens in a kind of junkyard, like car graveyard, and there's very loud noises, and you kind of see this. Well, that's the whole movie. Yeah, and you see this tractor kind of lifting down this glass cage. You're doing shot for shop. No, I'm not, because then I'm expecting because that's gonna come back. So then, and then you hear people, and then you hear uh Matthew Lillard's like, oh, we have one ghost or something, then that's it, I'm done. And then you see Spooky Car pull up. Whoa! And then uh Uncle gets out, but you don't know who's the uncle then.
SPEAKER_04Spooky car from the haunted mansion.
SPEAKER_01Yes, it's so stupid. It's so stupid and out of face. So that comes out, and you know what, you know what other movie that actor's in, right?
SPEAKER_03This is gonna take 30 seconds.
SPEAKER_01Are we talking about F. Murray Abraham?
SPEAKER_04Yes. Well, he won Best Actor. Oh, he did for this film. For Amadeus. Oh, I know he was in the world. I was actually that too, I guess.
SPEAKER_01He was in MidiQuest, he's the writer. Oh, okay, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_04So he's actually a really great actor, which I found shocking.
SPEAKER_01So he shows up and then he gets in an argument with Matthew Lillard. They're basically you find out they're trying to catch- Why do I know who Matthew Lillard is? Because he wasn't Scream.
SPEAKER_00He was still in like half of the movies that we've got. Yeah, he's been in a cover.
SPEAKER_01So basically, you kind of find out they're like capturing this ghost, and then what right, but then you only hear the ghost, but you can't see it. So then people start putting on these glasses, they can now see the ghost. People die, they capture the ghost. Not as many as and then you find out, oh my god, the uncle's dead too. So then now it cuts to Tony Shaloub. Uh huh. It cuts to Tony Shaloub. Tony Shaloub is looking out his window, and as he's looking out of his window, you kind of hear no, you're really going shotgun.
SPEAKER_03I'm not going for shotgun.
SPEAKER_04We go forward to show Tony Shalou. Okay, Sam, explain it. We find the cup on the table. Lovely family. Then we find the city. That's exactly what I was explaining. Tony, we're literally going to do the panning shot around the room. Yeah, we don't need that. And then the sheet died. She had she was in a horrible fire. She died. Now they're not doing very well. All of a sudden, like a lawyer shows up, says, Hey, you've inherited a house from your uncle. Oh my god, we're gonna be great now. Let's go see the house. They go see the house. By the way, that's F. Marie Abraham, the crazy guy at the beginning. It's his house. They get there, they see the house. Oh my god, this looks amazing. Mark Lillard is there. That's not his name.
SPEAKER_05Matthew.
SPEAKER_04That's the one thing he part of my language fucking cares. Okay, okay. I'm gonna call you, I'm gonna call you uh I'm gonna call you call me whatever you want. I don't care. Just call me. Just don't call me during the house. The listeners don't even care. But anyway, so Matthew or Mark, I'm sorry. Matthew. Doesn't matter. Is it Matthew or Mark? I'm not gonna tell you.
SPEAKER_03Matthew. Thank you.
SPEAKER_04So Matthew Lillard's there pretending like he's the uh electrician. But here's my thing. That didn't last long. I walk up, I see that house, I'm back in my car driving. Think that's all right, that's in my notes. I don't care what my life's like, I am not walking in the house.
SPEAKER_00This place is amazing.
SPEAKER_04There's no what is all this freaking writing on the windows?
SPEAKER_00I'm done with all the writing in the windows. I'm done. Can I say, even before then, though, the random lawyer pops up and is like weird. Ignore ignore the satanic wallpaper on my computer. Watch this video. Yeah. Did you you guys notice that wallpaper, right? Yep.
SPEAKER_04Nothing weird here. Keep on pushing. Hey, hang on a second. Is Matthew Luther the one goes, oh my parents are gonna be so upset with me? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_00So we we've literally so anyway, um, what were you saying about you can pick up? No.
SPEAKER_04So now we're in your house and all this crazy stuff happens. I can't remember exactly was it the lawyer goes down to the baby. He's describing this movie very fast and he picks up the money? Because basically they're looking around the house. It's really cool.
SPEAKER_03Something got tricked. Right, he picks up a suitcase, something triggers. Yeah. Yes.
SPEAKER_04And then it so obviously F. Marie Abraham set him up for that to trick the house, and all the walls start closing. Which, by the way, goes on for a half an hour or more. The whole wall. I don't get it. But anyway, whatever. It's Miss On scene. It's missing something. They are now The Sun goes missing. Right, but Lillard What happens? It trips him into telling Shalub what's actually going on.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_04No, that's not it. What is it, Travis?
SPEAKER_01Um he goes down in the basement because he's looking for the generator, and then he he because he is able to sense ghosts in the paranormal. He finds out he finds out that the ghosts are downstairs, so he notes out and says, You all should leave too. And then Tony Shalub's like, you're crazy, and then the lawyer starts saying, Oh, yeah, this guy's been harassed in my office since the uncle died. Don't listen to him.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03And then same, same.
SPEAKER_04I mean, then I mean shit happens and then shit stuff happens since they all split. I know, but the thing is the lawyer split. As far as plot goes, honestly. It's pretty simple. From that point forward, it's really just there's no plot. Disbelief, disbelief, walls are closing, people are getting separated, disbelief. I mean, come on, Tony. At what point are you gonna catch up with the rest of us? Yeah. Just start believing what's going on. You know what?
SPEAKER_01You know what this feel you know what like the next forty, thirty minutes feels like? It feels like you're in horror nights and you're in a maze, and you're like looking at the screen. And it's like a pre-show showing you what happened. You're in the line? You're in the line for the ride at like a theme park. I've never done that, but that's that makes sense to me. Yes. There's no plot.
SPEAKER_04I'm in line for the uh Indiana Jones or Indiana Jones or something. Or what was the one Back to the Future?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's what it that's what it just feels like you're in a pre-show for a ride.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I would love a 13 Ghost Maze.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that would be great. And that's what I just felt the entire time. I'm like, this would be cool as a maze, and that's all it feels like. It's like almost someone videoing through a maze because there's not a whole lot going on. And then why do they have to have the glasses?
SPEAKER_04To help people that aren't because psychic. Is that a holdover from the original film?
SPEAKER_01Because yes, because well, because in the origin that's the thing. It's like I feel like, but you I feel like they should have done something a little more. I mean, I feel like maybe if they would have made this movie ten years later, it would have been oh when the cat exactly.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It was 3D not a thing back then?
SPEAKER_01Like, no, no, no, no, no. When did it actually start? Well, 3D had common trends, but that was not a 3D.
SPEAKER_04They were handing to the audience. Well, I didn't know.
SPEAKER_00They're literally handing glasses to the audience.
SPEAKER_01It was like an optical illusion.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it was an optical illusion that was similar to like 3D. Um the ghosts were the ghosts were kind of able to be seen without the glasses, but you needed the glasses to actually see them. And uh to enhance it, maybe?
SPEAKER_01Yes. I think it was something like like it was probably like an optical trick, like in uh it was probably what it was. It was probably the glasses and applied a filter that you were able to see more. That's what it had to have been.
SPEAKER_00So it says the filmed elements on the of the actors and the sets, um, except the ghost, had a blue filter applied, yeah, while the ghost elements had a red filter and were superimposed over the frame. So um, okay, so it said unlike with early 3D glasses having one eye red and the other cyanor blue, the illusional device required viewers to look through a single color with both eyes. Uh, looking through the red filter intensified the image of the ghosts, while the blue filter removed them. So it's kind of like 3D, but like just with one eye. Which, I mean, fair. Yeah but also annoying. I hate red and red and blue 3D.
SPEAKER_01But while they're also running through the house, see, this is something that I think should have been shown later in the movie. Because I feel like it would have, like, especially maybe during the climax, was I didn't like that the mom being a ghost was revealed, like it's like the first ghost they see in the movie. Well, when they're in the house, it's one of the first ones when the kid sees the son. Yeah, I I feel like that was something that could have been explained a little later. And then I don't know, because to me I'm like, okay, well, like, that's kind of one of your twists right there. Because then they try to set it up later, it's like, oh, Tony Shaloub, you're gonna be the 13 ghosts, but it's like Congratulations, you're the 13 ghosts.
SPEAKER_03Congratulations, Captain.
SPEAKER_01It just it didn't it didn't do any of it. Like, why explain that the mom that early that she's a ghost in the house? I I agree. I I I have no like I really like Tony Tony Shaloub. I think he's a really good actor. This is the Halloween episode of Monk.
SPEAKER_04But I really found I don't know why. I found this casting so weird.
SPEAKER_00I think it's weird because the type of movie it is. I think he's giving it his all. I think it's a lot of people.
SPEAKER_04I don't think he's giving weird on it. It was just weird.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01No, I I think where it worked the best was probably in the first act of the movie. Like to me, yeah, it was believable when he was like I really struggling death and mourning. And that opening shot, I think it worked really well. The one where it was him, like I like it where it's him like does the turn, and then you hear them all, and then it cuts to the past due bills. I thought that was cool. I thought that whole shot was great.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I think where it starts with them really happy and the kids playing outside, and then just pans all the way around the house, and everything just gets worse and worse and worse, and then you get all the way around, and then there you are where you are now. That was a really very well thought out shot. And it was very creative because it accomplished a lot.
SPEAKER_01And that's what I'm saying. It accomplished so much. It it it it gave you all the exposition you needed in the movie, kind of without showing you much, and it was just done in one shot. I agree. They didn't have to cut around, and then I even like to say it was them in the small apartment, he trips over the scooter, but like I thought that was great. I even liked the scene when they were in the house and the lawyer was like, Oh, come with me to go sign some paperwork, and then Tony Shalub's like, hey, I didn't want to say this in front of the kids because they're excited. I'm only a math teacher, I can't afford any of this. Right.
SPEAKER_03So why wouldn't he say that when he was at the apartment, you know?
SPEAKER_01Because I don't think he had known, like seen he didn't know really.
SPEAKER_04He didn't know what they were stepping into. But oddly, they're still looking at this house like it's amazing. Like the daughter going to the bed. I'm like, I'm not going to this house. No. That house is a little too creepy.
SPEAKER_03Even without the Latinx.
SPEAKER_01I would say now, even if I saw that all it's like these weird industrial like steel beams with the glass. I'm sorry, Merv for thought is I don't need to see people, I don't need I don't need people to see me use in the restroom. Yeah, you're just sitting there with the newspaper or like reading a book.
SPEAKER_04Well they even commented on it. Like uh I think Tony Shalou had a line to him about like about the glass or something. I'm not going in that house either. Yeah, so that was that was bizarre.
SPEAKER_03What I noticed halfway through is 80% of this movie fucking slow-mo.
SPEAKER_04I did not like the camera work at all. No.
SPEAKER_03At first, okay, slow-mo, great.
SPEAKER_04But then it was like, I didn't like the slow mo, like the speed up, and like any of it.
SPEAKER_03And I I get it using the speed up for like ghosts, but it again it's and the two second shots and cuts, and just okay.
SPEAKER_00Well, I'm gonna fight you on that, Dan, because I thought that was really cool.
SPEAKER_03What, the slow-mo or the back screen?
SPEAKER_00Uh, the the the quick cuts between the same scene with the ghost and the same scene without the ghost. Oh, actually, I thought it was done really, really well. Yeah, could it be like I need to get the perspective? Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04What are you getting? Like I wouldn't I wouldn't have minded if it was done sparingly. Uh huh. It was done all the time.
SPEAKER_03But I feel like this movie had to rely on the jump scares.
SPEAKER_04And I didn't think there was one single jump. No, and that's but I feel like that kind of worked as a jump scare. But the cuts between.
SPEAKER_03Not now, but again.
SPEAKER_04Well, but we're talking about we're talking about now I can't speak 12-year-old me because I didn't see the movie. Well, I can listen, Dan. Little Dan. I found the movie. Yeah, I think because they just kept repeating the same thing over and over again. Repetitive? I felt like that was something else.
SPEAKER_01They ran out of plot. I'm gonna take a look at it. Was there a plot? Yeah. I'm gonna take a page.
SPEAKER_04Not once you got in the house.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna take a page from Dan's book. Thank you. Okay. So here's the thing. We always Dan always brings up and we talk about how you never see the shark until the end, right? Yeah, which works for this one. But for me, it was like you see so little the ghost and the whole thing with them not being able to see them, they don't do anything with that. The only scene that it's used, and it can be kind of creepy, is the scene where Tony Shaloub is with his daughter, uh Molly Shannon, and she gets attacked by the jackal, and he doesn't know what's going on. He just see her get lifted up and they take her out. I'm like, that's cool. But literally, then every other time, every other time it shows the ghost, it's just quick two-second shots. That's it.
SPEAKER_03I have a problem with that shot. When she was getting tackled by the jackal, a close-up of her getting her shirt fucking torn and then seeing her boobs. I'm like, really?
SPEAKER_00In slow motion, I think I think I I think I missed that. It's because the jackal naked went like ghosts with the fake boobs. They were waterlogged boobs. They weren't fake, okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00What was the ghost name? What was the ghost name? The wounded princess or some shit. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Is there really a name for each ghost? Yeah, there is, yeah.
SPEAKER_01There was a name and a huge backstory for every single ghost.
SPEAKER_04Well, and I'd like to get into that at some point, but we'll wait for just a moment. I actually kind of liked her getting attacked. I never fully, and I figured I would say this out loud, so you guys will explain it. Uh-huh. I never fully understood why the ghost some ghosts were actually getting a hold of you and tearing you apart, and other ghosts were just doing stuff that didn't work.
SPEAKER_01They kind of explain it a little bit.
SPEAKER_04Okay, good.
SPEAKER_01Because, so here's the thing it's a character we forgot to bring up. So in the opening, when they're at the car junkyard, there's two ghost activists there that are like free the ghost. And then, spoiler, um, the girl, you find out she's actually it which makes no sense. That must have happened after that. Is working with the uncle the entire time. That had to happen after that. But point is she brings up when she's talking when she randomly, oh, I crawled through an opening in the house. But anyways, such a game.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01But when I jumped in, it's never gonna happen again.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. But what we saw her somewhere earlier in the house. I never no, she was going through her house.
SPEAKER_03Oh, is that her house? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But point is, is she explains like the wife is right? She's one of the ghosts in the house. Yes. That I think it's literally them just going around capturing these ghosts while some of them are violent, as in like the jackal, and then you kind of have that like guy, the big strong buff one. Yeah. Yeah, with the nails in them, and then he was cool. And then you have the one that looks like a straight up Scooby-doo old man ghost, the one that kills Matthew Lillard. Oh, yeah, yeah. And crushes him. The juggernaut? Yeah, the juggernaut. It's it's I feel like we remember him. I remember that dude. And then you have like the nigga. I feel like that's the thing. It's like I feel like half the ghosts are like violent, and the other ones are just these doomed souls that got trapped, but they they're not they're not irritated in any way. So they're like, we don't want to hurt you. We're just we're just here. Yeah, we're just here. Yeah, so Dan, I think that's the explanation. Like I said, there's not a whole lot. Like, I'm gonna be honest right now. Maybe I missed it. Someone please explain it to me. You saw it three times. We had explained. What was the uncle's plan?
SPEAKER_03To get all thirteen ghosts.
SPEAKER_04I'm about to fucking say it. Well, they explain it. I didn't I don't get it.
SPEAKER_03If I remember correctly, it's to dominate something or to power.
SPEAKER_04What power? I don't know. That's what I'm saying is control hell. Because you even have the idea She explains it very briefly.
SPEAKER_01But her, it's like she's like, oh, yeah, you're trying to.
SPEAKER_03What's the reason? Why do they why do you want 13 ghosts?
SPEAKER_00Um So it's got something to do with like knowledge and power and stuff. Uh so um the 13 ghosts are meant to like power the house itself, which is said to be a machine designed by the devil.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's all they said.
SPEAKER_00And powered by goose. I think I mean that's the one. Yes, they say that's the thing. The line is literally this house was it's designed by the devil and powered by ghosts.
SPEAKER_01Because sorry, there, real quick. Go ahead, yeah, energy bunny. They explain when you think the activist is good and act just in the beginning, what the set when they're at the car cemetery is they say, she goes, Oh, you're trying to get these 13 ghosts. You'll never be able to, you'll never, and then they cut her off, and I'm like, what is this? What is it?
SPEAKER_04You didn't tell them about the 13th ghosts. What is the movie we saw with the box? Hell Hellraiser?
SPEAKER_01No. Was it the was it the Hellraiser, the the one from 2020? Yes, it was.
SPEAKER_04This sort of reminded me of that same kind of concept. Well, because it almost same kind of this is a way cheaper version, but still it's this idea we gotta have all these things happen. Well, no, no, no, no, no. See, no, but I mean you have that whole thing where if we get all this stuff to happen, then this is what's gonna result.
SPEAKER_01This one's just a less kinky version of that. But yes.
SPEAKER_04Well, this is all overall just a super. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Did you look at Jackal? My God. But Dan, I I see what you mean in the sense where it's like almost like the whole like aesthetic of it, but storyline, I don't know. No, not storyline. I don't know. I agree with that. If someone is listening to this and they can explain it, please. Please, it's it's I'm sorry. I'm trying to figure it out. I don't know what the ultimate I don't know what's gonna be.
SPEAKER_04Has anybody seen the original? No. No. I'd be very curious to know what that storyline was in terms of like how that played out. Was there any similarity to it's the same, it looks like more than it looks really good, more nude to see.
SPEAKER_01Because I like how they have the one ghost in the original in the trailer where it's like, and this ghost is able to talk through other people. That's just the character talking, and I'm like, Okay. But um, I'm sorry, I don't want to, I don't want to keep sound like I'm just bashing this movie. But I obviously can tell I have big then don't I have big problems, but another thing, like I said, I don't know if it's me nitpicking that I didn't care about, that I didn't care story-wise, was so we know Matthew Lillard has these like visions. Matthew, Matthew. So if you t so if he touches you, me Mark. If he touches you and you touch him, then she's very happy. You see ghost. Yes, besides that, you see ghost and I'm speaking for everyone. You see ghost and other things is himself included.
SPEAKER_04Is but I thought that was also very like No no no.
SPEAKER_01It's I don't have an issue with that part. The it the part that I have the issue with is you know, he's able to see things is I don't like that like 10 minutes into them being out of the house, he touches the wall and is able to see himself die. Oh and it spoils it then because with me, I'm like, it would have been cool if it's like it ended up differently. Yeah, but with him, it was just him weirdly accepting his fate. It's like because when it happened in the movie and he's like, Oh my god, this was my premonition. I'm just gonna stand here now and block because in my premonition I saw that I died, but then he comes back as like a force ghost at the end. It was like, you did it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I thought that was super weird. Yeah, I thought the acting was all over the place. Oh my god, everybody was like doing their own movies. The little kid was fine. I mean, I know he just disappeared from the movie, too. Oh, yeah, like towards the end. It was like he was gone. They got him out of the movie. And then you had the the the nanny who was playing off all the you know lines. She was very supposed to be the comic relief, I guess. Horrible, horrible. It just wasn't written.
SPEAKER_00Hey, hey, hey, you better respect Rod Digga. That's her name.
SPEAKER_04There were some pretty funny lines though when she said I'm with a bunch of crazy white people that did make me laugh. I don't do windows. I don't do windows. Kind of remind me of Deep Blue Sea where the where the Sam Truck is going down. No, no, like the cook. He's like going, Yeah, I know how these movies work out. The brother's always the first one to go. That was that sort of pretty much the same era. And then they ended the movie on a joke.
SPEAKER_01Uh I am done. I am not working. And then cut the music. Yeah, it was you were just like which, by the way, she sang because she's a rapper. Oh, that's her? Yeah, she's a rapper now.
SPEAKER_04Oh wow. Oh, nothing's better than a rap song after that movie.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00Adam's fan of a little bit.
SPEAKER_04No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm so cool. We're rapping now.
SPEAKER_03Again, that's the 2000s thing.
SPEAKER_01No, it goes before that. I guess so. Because here's the thing, and this is you can look it up. It's a real thing. If you see the 1994 six at least, uh movie titled A Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddie, Part 6, Freddy's Dead. The final nightmare. The final nightmare at the end credit song, I believe you. Freddie starts rapping. Oh boy. So it goes from a horror movie to Freddie rapping.
SPEAKER_03Oh, by the six-one, just do whatever. But Freddie's fitty.
SPEAKER_04Freddie does one-liners.
SPEAKER_01But here's the other thing. And it's the most shameless. I will say it's two of the most shameless instances that I have of movies having one of the actors and a song being in it. Number one being Frank's favorite movie, Texas Chainsaw, 2012. Is who's in it? It's there's a rapper in the movie. I like the favorite movie. There's a rapper. I enjoy it. There's a rapper in the movie, and there's a part where it's supposed to be them hanging out, like having a cookout. And I'm not even. Did we see it? No.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I was seeing.
SPEAKER_04This is Texas Chainsaw 3D. What's the one with Jennifer Beale? Yeah, that's the 2005.
SPEAKER_03I was seeing about that one. What's the 2012?
SPEAKER_01It was Texas Chainsaw 3D. It was with Alexandria. Yeah, there was a rapper. Alexandria Di Dario. No, there was a rap, I don't remember his name, but there's a rapper in the movie, and they're supposed to be hanging out cooking. Yeah. And while the actor is cooking, they have one of his songs playing.
SPEAKER_03Oh boy.
SPEAKER_01It's almost as bad as the worst shameless example I've ever seen of this was in the movie The Fanatic. Oh. Directed, starring My Boy. Yeah, Fred Durst. John Travolta. So Fred Durst, Dan, as you know, don't know, maybe don't know, is a singer. Is he related to Matthew? No. He's a singer from this band called Limp Biscuit. Limp Biscuit. I know Limp Biscuit. Yeah, so there's a song. He directed a movie. Yeah, he the guy, the singer directed a movie and started in this movie with John Travolta. So there's a scene. What's it called? It's called The Fanatic. The Fanatic. So there's a scene. I'm not even joking. There's a scene in the movie.
SPEAKER_04Are we just trying to hit every bad movie I've ever made? Is that the scene? Is this 2025 Zane?
SPEAKER_01So Hi Joni. Hi, Joni. Hi, Joni. So, Dan, there's a scene in the movie where it's the dad, played by Fred Durst, is picking up a son from school. What can just be him pulling up, son getting into the car, end of scene. Is the dad pulls up, the son gets into the car, he goes, Oh, hey, how son, how are you doing? And then they start the car and music starts playing, a limp biscuit song starts playing. And then Fred Durst says, Fred Durst says, that the son's like, oh, what's this? And then the and then Fred Durst says, Oh man, when I was your age, this was the coolest song ever. He turns up the song, and it's two to three minutes of them just driving, not talking, while the entirety of the song plays. I don't remember.
SPEAKER_04But the guy from Olympus who directed the movie. And he stars in it and he runs it. Love it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But back back to the movie, right? 13.
SPEAKER_03It's not that he got John Travolta to play the movie as cool.
SPEAKER_01Well, John Travolta's not doing anything. John Travolta.
SPEAKER_04That's been John Travolta's career. He's made so many weird shit. He does a pulp fiction. He'll do I mean he didn't even want to do pulp fiction. His agent said, You're doing this movie. Really? Because he turned it down.
SPEAKER_01And you heard about what happened after Pulp Fiction. John Travolta approached Quentin Tarantino and said, I got this great movie. Quentin Tarantino was like, Nope. Battlefield Earth. Oh. There you go, baby. He was trying to make Tarantinous worth.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04Can anybody explain to me why the doors kept opening and closing in this movie? Like the different glasses. Like they were able to get through things, but then those would close the colours. Yeah. By what?
SPEAKER_03With a briefcase. With the briefcase.
SPEAKER_01It made the maze. It made like a maze because that's how the doors were.
SPEAKER_04They did not explain it that well. Also, come on, guys. You gotta love it. They find the book, they read the book, we learn all about everything from the book. How many horror movies have a book? Dan, you missed it. You missed it. All the good ones. Dan. That's so crazy. It's like such a cheap ass way through a s through a plot line. You missed it. It's easy. They explain it. It's too easy.
SPEAKER_01They explain the explain why though. Dan, let me let me see your phone. Okay. This is the book. She says, I'm gonna show you a book, but keep in mind, a lot of people died for me to get this for this book. I was like, oh, now you know it's serious.
SPEAKER_04That's the book, man. Do they give this book over to the evil dead people? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not big on the book thing. That's got really, really tired, dead old trope.
SPEAKER_00I thought it was cool. The one good thing. It's tropey, yeah.
SPEAKER_04You did not think that book was cool.
SPEAKER_00No, not the book itself. The idea.
SPEAKER_01You know what I enjoyed more, Frank Artie?
SPEAKER_04I think if you're gonna do that now, you have to, it has to be a joke. You can't bring the book out as a scene.
SPEAKER_01Well, scary movie's coming out, so they should include that. Frank, my favorite was the scene that you brought up earlier. When they're watching the movie that looks at has like the nine-inch nails quet quake background, and not only is the uncle explaining, but it also has like the weird, like creepy music. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03The what? When it was when he was like, if you watch this. If you can see this, it means I'm dead. WMP. Oh WNP. Oh my gosh, the alien one, which scares me.
SPEAKER_01It was called WMP.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Ma'am. Sorry.
SPEAKER_00I don't he did it all for the Nucky, okay?
SPEAKER_01This is what he said she said bullshit. It's getting all over the place, but it's good.
SPEAKER_03Um the one thing I positively say about. This movie is the effects, the special effects, the makeup.
SPEAKER_01You know who did the makeup? Who? Greg Nicotero. Explain more. More words. Greg Nicotero is probably one of the biggest, if not the biggest, um, makeup effects artist of our time. He did all the makeup effects for the Walking Dead show. Oh wow. Um, he also did look up like almost every big horror movie in like the 90s and 2000s. He did probably Yeah. Yeah He was like, he's like this the You know how you had like I mean I guess it's almost like this generation of um I just forgot his name, but the guy too that was in uh Tom Savini is like the newer let me ask you a couple of questions straight up and then we can get towards the end of this.
SPEAKER_04Is there any part of this movie that you found that you found based on a true story that you found scary? Travis?
SPEAKER_01Um when I was a kid No, now no, I'm gonna say that's that's Okay, okay, that's fair when I was a kid I found the jackal scary. Now it's I think it is like I said, it's I think I know just because I think it has the potential, but I think just because of the way it's cut and everything cuts too fast and you can't see anything, is sometimes there's horror and there's suspense in lingering on the shot, having it, building suspense, but everything just happens like that, and I'm just like you I can't my brain, I can't process oh, this is here, this is there, because it's too fast. But I don't know. I mean, at the same time, I don't know, I did when I was a kid. I I think this movie's very dated. I think that's short answer no. Yeah, short answer no.
SPEAKER_04Did you find any of this movie scary?
SPEAKER_03I think just when I first saw Jackal the first time. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Frank?
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Sorry. Here's the thing. I think it's cool. Did you see funny?
SPEAKER_01Did you think it was scary when you were a kid?
SPEAKER_04Yes. Yeah, I did. So here's the thing. I I say this part of the reason I say this because uh there's a commercial on TV right now that's uh promoting the uh universal horror nights. And it's funny when you watch that commercial, it actually is scarier than this movie. And it's not scary. I mean it's it's scary in the sense that it's trying to make you go, this is gonna be really scary and fun. Cut together so much better, looks better, everything looks better in this commercial. This 30-second commercial looks so much better than anything in this movie in terms of just how it's just approached. So that was my thing. I just found also so distracting. I was just distracted through the entire movie. Like I was distracted by the editing, I was distracted by the art direction, I was distracted by the super bright colors. Everything was so bright and colorful, not at all like a horror movie should look. Yeah. And I was just like, this is so I'm so distracted by the thing elements of this movie that are keeping me from this being scary at all. Yeah. And it was louder than it was so loud. I think I text Travis, I had to reset my new sound bar. I thought it was gonna blow up my subwoofer.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It it does suffer from that early 2000s. Everything is loud now.
SPEAKER_01Everything's loud, cut quick.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I like I say this all the time, but like 2000s, the horror movies in that era was so bad because yeah, the color saturation was definitely something. Mm-hmm. It it it was such, yeah, I didn't like it.
SPEAKER_01Some I feel like there's still some early like early 2000s stuff that I think I mean, I don't know if we're gonna discuss it on the podcast, but I'll bring it up. I think one movie that still holds up a lot is The Ring, and that has a lot of things. Oh, yeah, I like the Ring. I think there still are, but I think that's the problem, is and it's the problem you have in every decade with every single trend, is for every like one good one, you probably have like 10 yeah bad ones, and you have the knockoffs, the copies. Because this one was clearly following the trend of, you know, like I said, in the early 2000s, we had the remakes of like the 70s horror movies like Amineeville Horror. You also had all like the J-Horror ones. Um, you had for whatever reason this William Castle, I don't remember, was Ghost Ship a William Castle movie, or was that just its own wait Ghost Ship the the newer one? The one that came out in like 2001 or something. Oh, I have I have a little anecdote. Was that a ghost ship?
SPEAKER_04That was William Castle?
SPEAKER_01I don't think it was still making movies? No, I'm saying I thought that was a remake, though. Oh, oh, oh, okay. But I don't know if it was. What were you gonna say?
SPEAKER_03So when I first when I started 13 Goliaths, 30 ghosts. Yeah, so I was watching it, and I remember one of you guys like, oh yeah, the beginning of a certain movie is like the best opening. So I'm like, oh, it's this one. So I'm watching it, and I'm like, this isn't anything good. Because I remember people, or you guys were like, oh yeah, they get decapitated. I'm like, okay, I'm waiting for someone to get decapitated. I got it confused with their uh with Ghost Ship. So I texted the guys, I'm like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_04Honestly, the opening of this movie reminded me of Hellboy. If those have all been Nazis, it had that same. Was it the car? It had that same in the in the same feel to it. Yeah. That sort of Hellboy feel to it.
SPEAKER_01And I think that's the thing where you said where this ton where everyone is kind of doing things in the movie, because I feel like F. Murray Abraham, he's just camping it up. What's his name again say slowly? F. Murray Abraham. Murray Abraham.
SPEAKER_00Ghost Ship was a Dark Castle picture. Yeah, Dark Castle, yeah. But it was not a remake of a William Castle movie.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03So Dark Castle was William Castle? No, no, Dark Castle.
SPEAKER_01Castle was just production company that was doing all the remakes of the case. Yeah, I mean I like I said, I just feel like he was in an entirely he just hammed it up the whole time.
SPEAKER_04So did so did Matthew. Oh my god. So fucking over the top. In the first scene. And I didn't I didn't dislike him oddly enough. I thought, okay, let's either all be doing this or you turn it down. Yeah. Because you didn't match what everybody else was doing.
SPEAKER_03No, in the beginning, definitely, it was way too over the top. And it continued to be so, but it was just like it took a while to get used to, even if you could.
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_01You know what I thought was better? You know how you know how F. Murray Abraham camped it up a hundred percent that when it showed him that he's really alive, he was still wearing the same outfit that he died in and he still had the fake blood. I know. I was like, why is he doing that?
SPEAKER_04Why does he just look normal?
SPEAKER_01What does it matter?
SPEAKER_03He didn't die.
SPEAKER_01No, no.
SPEAKER_04No, because remember they pulled the glasses off and he's still there.
SPEAKER_03See, I at that point I didn't care.
SPEAKER_04And they didn't did that twice. They did it with the girl. Okay, so I know he's alive. And they did it again with Tony Shaloub. They did the same reveal to show him twice that he wasn't dead.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Did you really miss anything about that? I really missed it, it really didn't matter. It didn't matter. Yeah, that's why I'm not too upset. Running around in a maze with you know flashes of ghosts and twelve of them. Ghosts with naked breasts, ghosts with boxes on their heads, ghost with throw-ups, ghosts with nails in their throat.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, remember there was like the like the like the shorter guy and then like the really like the baby.
SPEAKER_04How about the glasses just laying all over the house?
SPEAKER_00There were glasses everywhere. Glasses everywhere. From the previous maze run. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I guess so. They had to resent. But I think too, we're kind of glanced over. I mean, it doesn't matter as much, but I guess it kind of does. But maybe it'll help someone figure out the ultimate plan in the movie. Was they needed Tony Shaloub to like sacrifice himself or kill himself? Yes. So that was to complete the plan.
SPEAKER_04Whatever the plan was, that completely.
SPEAKER_03Because he loves his family.
SPEAKER_04No, because true love. He was killing himself for love, you know, but the wife is part of the.
SPEAKER_01That's why they got the wife. That was the same. That's why they got the wife too. Because without the wife, you know, him loving the wife, there would his family wouldn't be there. So there would be there would kind of be no reason for him to kill him.
SPEAKER_03But the fire was was the fire intentional?
SPEAKER_01I don't think it was. Oh, okay. I mean, maybe it was. I feel like it would have to be, though.
SPEAKER_04Obviously, I think it was, and I don't know. And then the uncle maybe has set that up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but what's funny too is Tony Chaloupe's like, yeah, I don't talk to my uncle because everyone blamed him because he squandered the family fortune. I'm like, he still looks pretty rich to me. He squandered into that house. Well, I'm ready for I'm ready for a wraparound. I'll go first.
SPEAKER_04Um good, because I'm trying to find something.
SPEAKER_01So this movie has a lot of elements that otherwise you all you two would very much disagree me with. Where I'm like, yeah, it's cheesy. It's a very cheesy movie. It's all over the place. I think probably my favorite thing about this movie is I mean, it's over the top. I like Matthew Lillard in it. I like the makeup effects a lot. I just wish we had seen more of it because you see brief glimpses, and that's it. I think you've got Regna Kataro. I think him and his team did a great job. Um, I don't really understand the grand plan of everything. I think they could have done more with the glasses. That's the thing, is I feel like they could have set this movie up a little more. I don't know if it was maybe some stuff got cut out. I mean, like I said, it's very much feels like the trend early 2000s, just loud, quick cut. Because like I said, when I saw it when I was a kid, it felt like a complete movie to me. I don't know if it was just because I was a kid. Um It's I don't want to say like I hate this movie. I, you know, I'm putting it down a lot, but let's be honest, I'll probably end up watching it a few more times in my lifetime. Um I will give this movie. Like I said, I think a lot of it just it feels like a high score. It feels like a pre-show to like a theme park. Yeah. And the whole time I'm like, oh, this would be really cool as a maze, but now I've seen these people in the maze. It's gonna be too high. So I'm gonna No, it's not, it's not at all. 3.5. No, it's not at all. I'm gonna give this movie. And it's the highest set of five. It's the absolute highest, and it just and I just give it the slight boost because I think the makeup effect is cool and I liked it as a kid. So this is the highest score I can ever possibly give this movie is a 2.7.
SPEAKER_03Wow.
SPEAKER_01Um He's thought about it. You know why? Because the lawyer's a 3-5. No, it wasn't starting in this. It was topped him off the ledge. It was not this whole time because the lawyer was split into 2.7 pieces.
SPEAKER_04Hey, what was the movie The King, whatever, you know, where they where they have the in the back of the suits? Kingsman. Kingsman. Remember when that person got sliced in? I thought of that in that scene. Oh, that was.
SPEAKER_01You know who that was? That was Mark Hamill. It was in the first Kingsman movie, the guy that got sliced in half. Yeah, he played the character Kingsman. Yeah, the the professor.
SPEAKER_04The professor that they kidnapped. I thought it was somebody they were fighting. I was saying sliced. Oh, it was Kings Evil. That's so when that happened, I thought, yeah, I saw that in King Evil.
SPEAKER_01You know what? You know what I thought you were gonna say? I saw that in Resident Evil. Oh, did that happen in Resident Evil? With the laser, remember the laser ball?
SPEAKER_03I don't think Dan, I remember anything about that movie.
SPEAKER_00That's because you're basic.
SPEAKER_01Well, we're gonna watch it. Rather be.
SPEAKER_03How did this movie do in box office? I think it did do it.
SPEAKER_00Disappointment. No, no, no, no, it did not do well.
SPEAKER_01I didn't look any of that up. It made like not do well.
SPEAKER_04It made like what 68 million off of 47 million in Meg and made 68 million a buy. It did not do well. Ghost Ship, on the other hand, was very successful. That was after it, but ow, that's worldwide.
SPEAKER_01Oh, really? 68 worldwide. This worldwide did not do well. I always made the assumption it did well because they cut. I mean, then again, it was different. Tony Salub was in it.
SPEAKER_04Because Monk was in it.
SPEAKER_03Because that was like high time monk. No? I don't think he'd done Monk yet. No.
SPEAKER_04Monk was maybe 2005. Five four or five years. I loved it. But he'd done a couple other movies. He did Men in Black. Really nice movies, though. He'd done Guardians of the Galaxy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Not Guardians, Galaxy Quests. Galaxy Quest, brother.
SPEAKER_04Yes. He did Galaxy Quest after this again. But not too far after this.
SPEAKER_01No, I think, I think, no, I think Galaxy Quest was 1999. It was before this.
SPEAKER_04Okay. So he had actually done some good stuff.
SPEAKER_03You said that because he's he plays with Stoners, but they cut that out, right? Yeah, but you can still see Stoner.
SPEAKER_04This is a real Hollywood movie. I mean, this was Columbia Pictures with Warner. Was it Warner Burger? Yes, Columbia with Warner Burger. Was Columbia going down at that point? Who who when do two major studios join together for one?
SPEAKER_01Well, okay, so they've done it before. They've also did it in Titanic. Um, there were two studios.
SPEAKER_04It was Paramount's not around anymore, is it?
SPEAKER_01It's owned by Sony.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01But I think, okay, short answer, Dan. Yes. Two studios do, but it's all through distribution. Is sometimes they'll say like Universal is distributing this domestically, but Warner Brothers is gonna distribute it internationally. Got it, got it.
SPEAKER_04Short answer. Okay, Sam. You're on. Very short. Great. Um what did you what was your score? 2.7. I'm gonna What?
SPEAKER_01Oh, um lawyers being split and other answer because I have to give it to is it's the it's the monk Halloween episode. That's what I'm gonna call this. Great, love it.
SPEAKER_03I've come to realize I'm not a fan of the early 2000 horror movies because they all literally look and metaphorically look the same. I agree with you when you said earlier the way they cut it, the way they the art direction, it just was not it, it didn't hold my attention. The plot wasn't lacking. Acting was all over the place. The only thing that I enjoyed was just the makeup and then seeing the lorry being split into two. Um I could do without watching it. I'm gonna give it a flat two out of five, Matthew Lillard's clear coat in the beginning of the movie.
SPEAKER_04Look at Matthew. She's drinking it up, man. And I think Sam's rocking it up.
SPEAKER_01Just dig off yours. It's it's I'm finding out.
SPEAKER_04Where did I call him? Michael? Mark.
SPEAKER_01I'm finding out that for me. A lot of it's like you. Yeah. Since we've revisited for the podcast and just built my own. Me revisiting a lot of these like early 2000s, it's weird because it's like you realize how bad your taste is, huh? Well, I mean, but I guess it's back then, so a lot of it for me, it's like I watch it, I acknowledge they're not good, but I'm like, oh man, I got a lot of nostalgia vision.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And a lot of it. And then that's what that's what I feel because I feel like these early 2000s horror movies, like, since I've been in this stuff since I was a kid, those are like that was my introduction to the horror genre. Minus I had seen some 80s, but to me, I'm like, no, this is like kind of what I grew up with. Yeah. So it's interesting seeing.
SPEAKER_04I don't remember. I'm sorry, go ahead, Travis.
SPEAKER_01No, it's no, I'm just saying, so that's for me why it's interesting, and I'd like to hear I know Frank seen most of these, I like to hear both of you, Sam and Dan, your opinions. Because I'm like, you're seeing these movies 20 years too late.
SPEAKER_04And I don't have an opinion about horror movies made in the early 2000s because there were a lot of really good movies made in the early 2000s that were not loud and not cut fast. This is this is just a horror genre thing, I think. Well, I think the regular movies weren't loud.
SPEAKER_01I no, yeah, it's just a Honda Horror Genre. I don't know. It's it's me. Now, I don't know if it's I think a lot of it too was these movies. I mean, again, they spent 40 million on these. I think a lot of these too were just studios just like kind of following the trends and being like, hey, we just want to make this, make it fast, get it out. We're cashing in.
SPEAKER_04That's a decent budget for 2000. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_01That's what I'm saying. That's big.
SPEAKER_04And that's not with any any money in the acting at all.
SPEAKER_0140 million 20 years ago, that's probably like 70.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but they didn't pay anything for Shalube or any of the cast members.
SPEAKER_01I think a lot of it was just probably the the the effects, makeup, yeah, settings.
SPEAKER_03So I wish we could have seen for sure. I don't like remakes, but I would like to see this be remade again. Consider like with the like state of like art.
SPEAKER_01See, here's the thing.
SPEAKER_04I definitely think there's a better movie to be made out of this idea for sure.
SPEAKER_01When I first watched no, okay. When I first re-watched this, like I said, 10 to 15 years ago. This was before like Netflix and everything, was on the internet, people were talking about, and I want to know your two everyone's opinion on this before I say mine. They were saying that they should remake this, but not make it as a movie, remake it as a series, and each this movie? Yeah, limited series, and each episode is a ghost. That's a good idea. And it goes over the that kind of I don't know. They were like, that's what they were saying. Should have been a limited series, and you get to focus on each ghost. I think that'd be cool. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00The titular 13 ghosts have almost nothing to do in this. Did they say titular? Tituler. There are some of those in this movie. Because I think they're the most interesting thing.
SPEAKER_03The title.
SPEAKER_00The ghosts themselves.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, we don't learn anything really about any of them, really. No, just their names.
SPEAKER_03And even the intro was so fast cut that you just miss them.
SPEAKER_04And even in the I didn't even know that they that the wife had died. That opening scene was so loud.
SPEAKER_01Weird to me that when I remember seeing this movie, when I remember seeing this movie as a kid, I felt like we saw so much of the jackal, so much of all these ghosts. And I'm watching it now, and I've said this a hundred times, and I'm just like, you're saying, yes. Yeah, you're not seeing anything. But and then even then, okay, so it's supposed to be a happy ending, right? You have the jackal and all these ghosts running out. I'm like, so they're going to the next town and they're killing everyone.
SPEAKER_04Well, I mean, that's I made a note exactly. Is this a good thing that we released all these crazy fucking tickets?
SPEAKER_03Do you think they were just setting up for like another one potentially?
SPEAKER_00They were trying. Yeah. Well, at the beginning when they caught Juggernaut uh Juggernaut. Juggernaut? In the was it He killed eight people. I was gonna say, like, it's not like they're out there being like all cool and shit. Like killing people. They were trapped by by um the uncle, but they weren't great before that. They weren't good people. No, they were not. The ghost realm is not sending its bells.
SPEAKER_01No, see here's the thing. So the juggernaut, the juggernaut killed, I don't remember, eight people or twelve. I don't remember it's one of those. Matthew Lord's like, you said he only killed eight or twelve people. There's 40 people in this graveyard, and where Abraham goes, he's had some more since then. So I'm like, yeah, these ghosts oops. Yeah, oops. So these ghosts are killing people. He said, oops, all bodies. Oops, all bodies.
SPEAKER_03Alright, Dan, you want to go?
SPEAKER_04I think Dan should go.
SPEAKER_01Dan's like, I thought we were gonna end this 10 minutes ago.
SPEAKER_04Well then Frank's gonna finish.
SPEAKER_03He always does.
SPEAKER_04Or sometimes not at all. I'm not gonna go back to uh I I actually did my final thoughts when I talked about how distracting I thought all those elements were to the movie that kept it from being scary at all to me. So what's your score on this? And this is when you say they coalescing. I grabbed one paragraph out of Roger Ebert's review, which I think is worth reading. Do you have something? Okay, I just know it's gonna be critical. Before that? The experience of watch good. Do you know the Rotten Tomato score for this movie? It was very low.
SPEAKER_0119%.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I saw that afterwards. And Roger Ebert says, I'm just I just grabbed a paragraph out of the middle of the review. Says the experience of watching the film is literally painful. It hurts the eyes and ears. Aware that their story was thin, that their characters were constantly retracing the same ground and repeating the same words, that the choppy editing is visually incoherent. Maybe the filmmakers thought if they turned up the volume, the audience might be deceived into thinking something was happening. I agree with everything he put in that one paragraph. That's why I picked that paragraph. I thought that he nailed it. Now I will say this. I was never bored. I was not engaged, like where I was like, oh my god, what's gonna happen? Because I didn't care what was gonna happen. I knew that Tony Saloub, his daughter, and his son were all gonna be fine. I'd so it was never any sense that that wasn't gonna turn out okay. Um you know, it was it was the pacing was fast, lots of stuff was visually always going on. I was always kind of intrigued by how this story is gonna unfold and disappointed in how it actually did unfold. Because it really didn't unfold in a in a compelling way for me, anyway. I thought it had a lot of potential that just didn't play out. So I'm gonna give it 2.5 closing horror movie rap songs out of five. Because that rap song just made me laugh out loud. Good item. I expected it laugh lower. When they start rapping at the end, I just started laughing. I I didn't give it lower because I, like I said, I was never bored. Yeah. I was wildly disappointed in the end, is how it really played out and what I felt the potential was, and it just didn't pay.
SPEAKER_00Didn't pay. There was enough ghost tits to keep you entertained.
SPEAKER_01That held my interest. Sorry, before you go, can I read three of my favorite reviews? Because it's talking about reviews. Yeah, go for it. So do they pertain to this movie? Yes. Okay. They're not from this entirely different movie.
SPEAKER_04I love this particular review from this movie.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I watched this for the plot, and the plot is Matthew Lillard. Two stars. Nice. That's me. If I was one of the ghost, I'd be pissed about trip being pissed. I would if I was one of the ghosts, I'd be I'd be pissed being trapped in a house this ugly. Three and a half stars. That's good.
SPEAKER_00Out of ten. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um it's for a movie that's basically event horizon with Monk and Shaggy fighting the ghost of hot time. It's not that bad. Three stars. That's a Frank, that's a Frank comic right there.
SPEAKER_04Shaggy reference. That's good. It is a Scooby-Doo comic. There is a Scooby-Doo. 13 ghosts. I know you're going to go to the show. It was a show. It's a total Scooby-Doo idea. Alright, Frank, wrap it up. Frank, tell us why we're wrong and wrap it up.
SPEAKER_00I have to agree with what you guys said. Generally. There was like several points where you could say, no, I think I'm good. And they don't even start at the house.
SPEAKER_01And how about the lawyer that's almost like this?
SPEAKER_00The lawyer's always like that. That evil look on his face. Hey, I'm looking forward to the show. That was the shadiest lawyer I've ever seen. Not bad for a one-hour fee. For like by movie standards, shadiest lawyer I've ever seen. Um they they really missed the ball on on the ghosts themselves. They had like they they have this whole elaborate backstory to the ghosts, and they don't really do anything with it. Um the whole like lore of it, and you know, the Latin and the house with the inscriptions and the glasses, it was all really cool, but again, they don't really do much with it. So, with that said, I'm gonna say, suck it, Dan. Four out of five glasses. Yes, I'm giving four out of five nostalgia goggles because that's what I'm scoring this movie with.
SPEAKER_03Okay, we thought it was gonna be Travis.
SPEAKER_00I think I still loved it. Your nostalgia's okay.
SPEAKER_01I have nostalgia glasses and I can do higher than a 2.7.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's because they're fake. They're the they're the real cracker. They're the red and blue nostalgia glasses.
SPEAKER_04You want to hang on to your youth? I get it. That's fine. Dan. One of us has to say because I'm afraid of watching those movies I liked when I was a kid.
SPEAKER_01Frank. That's fair. Because this video. You know what?
SPEAKER_00The nostalgia goggles don't work on everything, but they worked on this. They sure don't work on Anzio, I can tell you.
SPEAKER_01Because we have video now, I can do this. I think Dan is gonna trap us in the house because I keep finding these glasses in every single room I go in. Ha.
SPEAKER_03I uh I'm laughing because you just went like lit.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. That was fun. Uh, what movie are we seeing next week, Sam? I hope it's bad. Because it hasn't been bad this whole time. Are we in a haunted house month? Is that what we're doing?
SPEAKER_03Yes, I was gonna say, I didn't mention the beginning, we are doing haunted house. Strangers go to haunted houses. So next week we're doing strangers, uncles, and give them I don't know. Strange uncles, houses. We're doing the innkeepers. I've never seen that.
SPEAKER_00I love that. I've never heard of it.
SPEAKER_03Uh Ty West. Yeah, I was gonna say it's Ty West.
SPEAKER_01Who did X?
SPEAKER_00I love the Type.
SPEAKER_01X and Pearl.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I like that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's Ty West.
SPEAKER_04The Innkeepers. I love the title.
SPEAKER_01The Innkeeper.
SPEAKER_04Why didn't you mention Maxine when you said the other three?
SPEAKER_01Because I haven't seen that one.
SPEAKER_04Oh. So who's not seen this movie? Frank has not, I've not. I don't think any of us have seen it. None of us have seen it. You've never seen it. Did you read anything about it? Do you have anything that can be a few years? No, I read the synopsis.
SPEAKER_03I think it was just um one of the movies is like in the haunted house. And it's Ty West. I think that's why I picked it. I think so. I think we we all like Ty West.
SPEAKER_04I like those two movies. So hopefully. Let's do it.
SPEAKER_03Let's do it.
SPEAKER_04Like Roger Garland's. Okay, I guess we're gonna do it. This will be the first one we have none of us seen. That's in a while.
SPEAKER_03No, we've seen it. Oh, the last broadcast. No, you'd seen it. No, I didn't.
SPEAKER_04No, none of us had seen the last broadcast. That's the most recent one, I think.
SPEAKER_01And then Christmas Evil, I don't think any of that. Yeah, let's hope.
SPEAKER_04I don't think you've actually still seen it, have you? No, I fell asleep.
SPEAKER_01Well, this is great. I'm also gonna say, Frank, you know what I think killed some of my nostalgia vision? Remember my internet? Remember my internet was bad last night, so I had to watch the ending 10 times. Like 10 times? Okay, so let's go. By the way, that was hilarious.
SPEAKER_03He texted me and I didn't answer the card.
SPEAKER_04I woke up in the morning, there were 21 texts all about you seeing the end.
SPEAKER_01Because every time F. Murray Everett would say, You're the 13th ghost, and then my TV would just go. So I was like, eventually he was just saying this is the 13th rewatch. No, and then and that's why, and that's why too slow. I was like, there's only a few minutes left. I was like, do I really need to see the ending? I'm gonna say it now. For whatever reason, when I was remembering this movie, I thought died in the movie.
SPEAKER_03So that's why I was like, I need to see the ending.
SPEAKER_04They were all goodly.
SPEAKER_01See, I thought he would say it's because I'm a math teacher, so I did the odds.
SPEAKER_04What was the movie where we find out they're all actually dead? The Civil War movie? The others. The others, yeah. The others, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Spoiler. It's like I've never seen it, but I know because you guys know over a double decades of the movie.
SPEAKER_03I saw like the beginning of it. I still haven't seen the whole thing.
SPEAKER_04So it's good. It's really good. It's very creepy and the art director. I don't know. The art directory. Some guy Ty West. It has a really cool vibe. Alright. This has been great. We're gonna watch the innkeeper next week. We cannot wait to share that with you.
SPEAKER_00I got her.
SPEAKER_01Got it. Did you hear that one, Dad?
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_01Just say yes, and then we can just move on. Thank you. I'll tell you when we when we're done.
SPEAKER_04So thank you for joining us. We'd love it if you would share us, like us, review us. We out. What else? Maybe vote one of us off the show. That'd be so cool. Everybody, who would you vote off the show? I think it'd be me. I think I'd vote you off. Yeah, because if you vote me off, you guys are just having a love fest.
SPEAKER_00You're all just examined. You keep the conversation going. We just inherited a house. Let me take you to it.
SPEAKER_04Does it have windows?
SPEAKER_00Oh, hold on. Hold on. Oh, does it? And gears?
SPEAKER_04Those gears were crazy. I know. I mean, every time that how many times did they cut away to the gears moving around?
SPEAKER_01They had to spend $40 million. A thousand years. That's the event horizon part of it all.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I wonder how many of those were like actually necessary and how many were just set dressing. What? The gears? I would say they were all set dressing.
SPEAKER_0190% set dressing and the rest of us just. Everything in that. They weren't really connected to anything.
SPEAKER_00There was like nothing. If you just pan to the left, you see him with like the string. I love when they carry the glass door around.
SPEAKER_01We can't get through this. No, it's Faratu.
SPEAKER_00I'll give him props for trying that and actually doing it like in the movie. Like let's just why are we still talking about it? Because it's great. Four out of five stars.
SPEAKER_04Okay, bye. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Dan. That's Travis. Sam.
SPEAKER_02And we are 13 hosts.
SPEAKER_01Out.