theheadwrapsocialite…“Everybody”
theheadwrapsocialite…“Everybody”
Heartfelt Reflections: Exploring “An Aubergine Education” with Angeline Antonia Brozovich
On today’s episode, I sit down with author Angeline Antonia Brozovich as we explore her beautiful memoir, "An Aubergine Education." Angie shares her thoughts and experiences with unflinching honesty as she gifts this heartfelt memoir to her children. She shares family stories of love, loss, growth and the indomitable spirit of the human heart. Angie's words serve as a beacon of hope and inspiration for us all on our own journeys.
**Listen to an excerpt from “An Aubergine Education” at the end of this podcast**
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Good afternoon and welcome to everybody. the podcast which shares stories that highlight people in life, that make the world an interesting place, which ultimately ties us all together in unique and wonderful ways. And who am I, you might ask. I would be the headwrapped socialite Weith mom, micro-influencer in the fashion and etiquette world, but on this podcast I will be introducing you to some people who I've had the opportunity to meet along my journey, who have helped enrich me in my life in beautiful ways and who I hope will do the same in yours.
Speaker 2:Lessons in my great mother office. Ava, stefan, nick and Joe. So often you choose to sit in the car and drive with me from errand to errand. Stefan says he just likes to listen to me talk. Ava sits quietly with a bright expression as if a student consuming my lectures on life. Nick prefers to ask detailed questions about my youth and Joe just seems comfortable with the constant sound.
Speaker 2:I'm often afraid these days, concerned that I won't be here to raise you. More than anything in the world, i want for you to have the ingredients to become a good citizen of the world. I want for each of you to passionately act kind today as children and to blossom into thoughtful adults. I want for you to work hard in school so your education can prepare you to make well thought out and intelligent decisions. I am apprehensive because your lives are so incredibly different from my own. You truly may live the lives of privileged children, but I will not let you live in this forum. I know that you wonder why I am so hard on each of you and why I require far more than as expected of your peers. I believe that you find the answers to your questions in my stories. The story is often told in the car driving from Aaron to Aaron.
Speaker 1:Today, i am absolutely thrilled to introduce someone who embodies the true essence of a multi-faceted woman Angie B. But I've never really called her by her full name, so I'm going to call her by her full name today. It's for this moment Angeline Antonia Brasovic. I first crossed paths with Angie about 15 years ago, when our children were involved in soccer and later tennis. It was during those lively, sidelined conversations that I quickly recognized Angie's remarkable qualities. She isn't just an attorney, she isn't just a devoted wife. She's an incredible mom, and now she can add author to her ever-growing repertoire.
Speaker 1:One aspect of Angie that I deeply admire is her fearlessness in asking questions and truly listening when given the answers, even when they may be tough. She possesses a unique gift of empathy and an insatiable curiosity that allows her to connect with others on a profound level. Recently, angie embarked on a deeply personal and introspective journey, culminating in the creation of her beautiful memoir An Aubergine Education, and this heartfelt work serves as a testament to her courage, her resilience and unwavering love for her husband and children. In this memoir, she gives her own life lessons, her wisdom experienced and a legacy to her beloved family. So, dear listeners, please help me in welcoming my friend Angie B, to today's episode. Thank you, angie, for joining us today.
Speaker 2:And thank you, Trina, so much And thank you for being my friend and others' friends and for everyone listening.
Speaker 1:Angie, can you tell the listeners a little bit about who you are? Well?
Speaker 2:I suppose I call myself the happy mom and that's my email, and I chose to raise these four children with my husband, frank, and prior to that I practiced law and I was the CPA. But when we moved to Rochester, minnesota, i chose to really focus on raising these four children, and so I think our objective was to raise citizens of the world was what we felt, because we wanted them to be nice people and people who would always work hard, have a strong work ethic, and we hoped they would have interesting lives and successful futures and lots of laughter and some turmoil just natural.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Yeah, And I think you created those type of people in this world. I want to ask you a few questions. Okay, So your book, An Aubergine Education can you tell us about the inspiration behind it and what motivated you to?
Speaker 2:write it. I think raising children is very challenging And I think I began writing it when I had teenagers, which is particularly challenging, and I think when you write you think about your history and you think about who you respect and how to handle a situation, and sometimes there's evenings that are later than one would want to stay up for their children, but the writing was helpful And I think when I pulled together the stories, i also wanted them to have. I gave this book to them for Christmas because I wanted them to have it for themselves, because if I wasn't there to give my solicited or uncelested advice, they'd have something. And I think at different ages we interpret things differently, absolutely.
Speaker 1:When did you first get the idea of writing the book?
Speaker 2:I always wanted to write. It was something I always. I was a voracious reader most of my life And I think in college, i wanted to write. My mother was an English major And so it was something I always did. I think my children wanted to write. I think in elementary school in Shaker Heights Ohio they all published these books And I think first grade or second grade, and the parents would kind of help with that. So I thought I can do that too.
Speaker 1:So how long did it take you to write this?
Speaker 2:Well, i wrote Seems like I wrote little stories as I was going along, maybe in life.
Speaker 1:So when, i started writing.
Speaker 2:It did take a couple of years, honestly, but I would go to my journals and I had written, i think when we were in Japan we had no television, no radio, no car, and my children are in school, where they attended public school without understanding the language, so they would come home and do their homework in English homework and I would do this writing. So it probably satisfied something inside of that I needed also, and how long were you in Japan for?
Speaker 2:It was about four months five months because it was during the holidays. So we arrived with children that were in the fourth grade the second grade, a four-year-old, and our fourth child was not yet born And my husband did a sabbatical there, and so the university Osaka University provided the housing for us, which was nice, and then they attended this public school, and it was the first day. My husband and I walked them to school and they put on their little white shoes, because it's customary there that you wear inside shoes. So they put on their shoes and we left them there And I said to my husband we were outside the school with our four-year-old child, nick, and I said Frank, what will they learn?
Speaker 2:They don't understand anything they're saying in that school. And Frank said well, i don't know what they'll learn, but I'm sure they'll learn something, so let's just let them learn. So I think they learned quite a bit, though They learned to, i think, ava. They expected her math not to be as strong because she was American and it wasn't, and so she decided I'm going to learn how to do that math. And so at home we would work on this double-digit multiplication, and as she worked really hard, she learned how to be as neat as the Japanese. She learned to be as organized as the Japanese.
Speaker 1:We spoke earlier before we actually sat down, but it's those life experiences that you have. Take who you are. just to see that little Ava got in there was like I'm going to do it, right.
Speaker 2:She said I'm going to do it, i will do this. And I think from your childhood you look at how your parents handled things. And I think when my mother was very young, when she was in the third grade, it was before the depression And her mother went to Hawaii to live with eight children because their family had been threatened to be kidnapped.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, And so she went to school in Hawaii in the third grade. So I thought, if my mother can go to school in Hawaii in the third grade and walk to school with her bare feet and eat papayas along the way, my daughter can go to school in the fourth grade in Japan and not understand the difficulty of the math.
Speaker 1:Can I ask you a question, if you don't mind me asking? why was your mother's family? why were they threatened?
Speaker 2:I think at that time they were living in Idaho And there was a real shortage of money. And so someone put a note on her father's car that said if you don't provide the certain amount of money, then I'll kidnap your children Oh my goodness. And so her parents decided that his wife would take these eight children those who were not in college There were, i think, five of them So they went to Hawaii for a year to keep these children safe, and during that time, interestingly enough, right after that was the crash, and actually that grandfather happened to be, we think, jewish, and so we think that there were Jewish people that came from Germany to stay in the household, but we actually don't know if that's absolutely accurate, but that's. His name was Arthur Jacob, and he was an orphan And the family was a Presbyterian. My mother was raised Presbyterian And they came back in a year and everyone was fine And the crash had happened and everyone was worth far less money. I will say the things that we do for our children Right, keep the children safe.
Speaker 1:And Hawaii.
Speaker 2:Hawaii. I think that my great-grandmother had an opportunity to teach in this school in Hawaii, so she went. So my grandmother went with her mother and these five grandchildren And there were three in college apparently. But from that experience I thought I can take my children to Japan. There's only a few of them, right, and we'll be fine And just to give them that experience.
Speaker 1:And again it goes back to if we see things and if we're open to new experiences, we're not afraid of them once we get older, you know.
Speaker 2:Right, and I think that you know the power of the pen. I always wonder you know what it has because I wrote this book years ago when Ava was in, i think, just starting college. But I talk in the beginning about Ohio, which is where we had moved from Ohio and I talked about that. these are my jewels, and in Ohio there was there's a very famous statue that talks about the reference to the jewels. Well, interestingly enough, my daughter just matched for orthopedic surgery at that university. Congratulations.
Speaker 1:In.
Speaker 2:Ohio. So it's kind of funny. I always wonder did she find that that was a calling for her? Wow, because she hadn't really been there in 18 years. That's what she said It was her hiatus. She's returned to the hiatus.
Speaker 1:Isn't that something? So that gave me chills. An all-Virgin education is a unique and intriguing title. So what does the term all-Virgin signify for you in the context of your book?
Speaker 2:Well, all-virgin. The color is described in the beginning. It's kind of a purplish-brown. It's a little bit unusual And it's actually the color of our fabric in our chairs in our dining room. So we sat and had many conversations and some happy and some not happy on those chairs. So it's kind of a royal color, purplish royal, but it's like eggplant. So it's healthy And I think we're healthy.
Speaker 2:Education it's not really about going to school and getting into a highly ranked university and majoring in whatever society has determined or you think society feels that you should become.
Speaker 2:And I think at some point during this book I talk about that, how we were going, which is off the color, but we were driving on a vacation to fishing in Michigan, which was not my husband's choice, let me tell you, but we wanted to redo the kitchen. So we chose that particular vacation for this summer in hopes that we would be able to redo that kitchen in the near future. So on this 10-hour trip with the smelly boy with a cast that had been in the water anyway, we thought we sung that song, the song about the cowboys. Have your children grow up to be doctors and lawyers, not cowboys? And so we kind of laughed at ourselves and thought okay, that's what we are, we're a doctor and a lawyer, and we really can't do the kitchen and take vacation too, so maybe it's not so ideal to only be a doctor and a lawyer, i believe that we all have those pivotal moments in our lives which help us to recognize who we are.
Speaker 1:And what would you say was that moment for you?
Speaker 2:I think probably. Well, when I attended college myself, my parents had died and I was in high school still, and I knew that what I always needed to do was to get to college. The education was the most important thing that my mother had said as she was dying of brain cancer. She always said well, just picture yourself on the university campus, wow, and there will be big buildings that will be brick and people scurrying around getting to their classes and carrying books, and that's what you'll end up doing And even after your mom dies, you'll still go to college And you'll still learn and learn about things you didn't expect to learn about and learn about things that you did expect to learn about. So to me, the pivotal moment was probably arriving on the University of Washington campus in Seattle and feeling like education is where I need to go.
Speaker 1:Right, this was going to unlock your new opportunities.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's amazing to me that your mom, as she was diagnosed with brain cancer, that she said to you this is what you're going to do And she helped you visualize where you would be in the upcoming years without her and how you took that, because I was thinking about you and how you felt when I was reading your book And she left you with all of these different nuggets that you would be able to power yourself through in the midst of the grief. To me, that shows a mother's love, right, the mother's love.
Speaker 2:And Trina has. I remember you talking about your mom before and her faith and how the strength of her faith kind of powered you on And the mother's love, they know it and they feel it And they absolutely I think my husband knows it and feels it also that he knew that, whatever happened, that we would get these children where they needed to go. Yeah, And it's that love that keeps you not just on the straight, narrow path but kind of looking around the corners a little bit to make sure that you consider things your interest in.
Speaker 1:For sure, and the one part that really touched me, also about your mom, was you felt that she held on just long enough for you to pay school. Oh, she did.
Speaker 2:Right? Yeah, well, she actually died before I graduated high school, but she held on until the summer of my junior year, So she didn't die until that semester was over because she wouldn't have wanted me to miss school Right, She would have wanted me to finish. So then she died after that, but I always felt she was with me And I think I still wear her around my neck most days And I think my children feel they know her. My husband said at one point to get birthday gifts from my mother, even though at some point my husband said I think it was after we purchased our first house or something And he said at some point Angie, do you think your mother could have a smaller budget? Do you think your mother could actually, we could adjust her a little bit.
Speaker 2:Because I felt her heart would always want things that I would want, yeah, so anyway, For sure, pushing you in that right direction. Right, She would always want that. Yeah, give you that little note.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And when I went to college I actually arrived on college campus I'd accidentally not signed up for any housing because I just had made a mistake, And so I ended up going into sorority And actually my mother had been in a hospital and had been in a sorority, so that was fine. And when I got and it was the same sorority she had been when I was there, i just didn't tell anyone that my parents were dead. They didn't ask and I didn't tell them. Oh, mine happened to be dead. And so they learned after that, probably within the year. But I think it speaks to the quality of your friends.
Speaker 2:When they don't judge you based on your unique situation, but good friends are your friends And good parents make good children Just to talk about friendship, and friends it's people who can see you at your worst, at your best, but still love you Right.
Speaker 1:You know Right And are willing to walk with you and to not to let you go Right And that's friends and it's also your children.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean when you kind of lose it with your children and you're using a voice louder than they really need to hear and you're confused and you're not understanding why a teenager needs to do what they've chosen to do. But they stick with you and you're there for a minute. It's kind of confusing sometimes, but I think you stick by family and friends.
Speaker 1:I agree. I think that there's one thing, and I think that's probably why I, over the years, have gravitated towards you as well It's like we may not see each other all the time, but I remember, around the time of the pandemic, when we ran into each other, you know, downtown Right, and we might have been standing there for like two hours, but it could have been an hour, but we were just catching up to me and I left there and I thought to myself Angie's the real deal. And going back to the introduction where I was saying that, and I think during that time we probably touched on topics of racism and George Floyd I remember Which we've certainly experienced far too much during the last decade, for sure, right, it's our responsibility.
Speaker 2:I will say I'm very proud that my children were often in a real world and shaker heights. Half their population was black children and half was, little less, was white children and a few Asian children, and I think those were their friends and those were who they learned to trust and who they learned to love and who they, you know, embraced, and I'm very proud that our children were raised with that. And on the same token, during this time of really awful, awful racism, i think we can't just look to the past of what we've done right. We have to look to the future of what we can do now. And, as I said then, you know that I will have the back If I see a teenage boy on the side of the road in Rochester, minnesota. I have.
Speaker 2:I actually haven't had it happen, but I have decided that I will pull over and just politely introduce myself and turn on my phone, because that's what we need to do. That's someone's son, that's a boy, that is a young person, and we all need to do that. We can't just talk about doing it. We need to do it. We need to be there for our neighbors and our other humans that deserve as much as my children Absolutely, and I would hope someone would do the same for my child if they. But unfortunately my children happen to look in a way that they're not always treated unfairly. But I realize others can be, and so I need to have their back, even if I've not met them.
Speaker 1:And I think that's such a beautiful sentiment, because a lot of times we tend to look the other way. but you were saying you know what I can talk about it, but I want to be about it And that's the difference.
Speaker 2:But you know, trina, people have been there for me because even I think, after you and I talked, i was in Philadelphia visiting my son who was doing his rotation there for surgery. And I took this bus and I didn't have the change. And I was waiting at the train stop and this gentleman, who happened to be a young African American man, he said, well, you have to have the exact change and you can go to the CBS and get a cash advance or whatever. And I didn't have it. So he said, you know what? it's only, i think, $6 or something, which I thought was quite a bit. But he said I can lend it to you, i can give it to you, it's okay, you look like you're someone's mom.
Speaker 2:So he did, and I, you know, i felt like at that time I looked into my purse and I thought, okay, what can I give you? So I was going to give him. You know, i had this, these breath mints, you know. I said I can give these to you. He said, no, it's not necessary. I said, but I haven't opened them And he said well, it is kind of a nifty little container there.
Speaker 2:I said you know what? I actually got these for free, i admit it at the Mercedes dealership. So they say, you know Thunman Mercedes for Manchester. I said, but I think you, you like the container, i haven't opened them and their breath mints And you like them. He said I think that's great. And I said, but you know what? I also have a nice, a nice pen. It wasn't a nice, nice pen, it was a okay pen.
Speaker 1:It was the truth.
Speaker 2:So I gave him the pen too. It was, it had been previously owed. He was fine with that. But you know, we both kind of chuckled and I said you know what, someday I'm going to give something to you, know something back to someone when you know when they're. They don't have changed.
Speaker 2:But you know it was a young black gentleman that offered that to me And I happened to have a cast on my leg which you know was made up more difficult for me to go to the CVS. I didn't even ask for it. He offered but he was a decent human being, absolutely, and I think, and I like to think, he thought I was a decent human being too.
Speaker 1:For sure, so we were there for each other. And that's what it's about. I think that's what part of our mission, our journey in life is to realize that we should be here for each other. Right, you know? it's not just you against me, it's not just blacks against whites.
Speaker 1:It's not, no, no. It's like the world would like us to believe that there's this divisiveness you know constantly, because that's what they throw to us all the time and show us. But at the core of who we are, i believe that we want to see the best and the good in everybody, because we're all one of the same Right, absolutely.
Speaker 2:You know, we are all worthy of respect, absolutely, there you go, and we are all worthy of helping each other out also, right?
Speaker 1:Right, and I think that's how this world progresses And that's how we get to be better is when we recognize that And it's we have to keep pushing forward, because if we don't, you know that's what all hope dies and that's. But we don't want that. It's like I can look at my children. I can look at your children and say like they want something better. Sitting across from you, it's like the old cliche. You know, i don't recognize you as a white woman. I just see you for your spirit And, like I said in the beginning, like you've always had just this beautiful spirit, and that's what we should be connecting to in every single person that we meet is the spirit Right.
Speaker 2:And I think that, as parents, you know, i think, to our four children, i think it's our objective is that they will make the world a better place for each of them. And my children happen to, our children happen to attend public schools and my husband said early on he said they need to relate to all people, not just people like them, not just, you know, people who are a little more fortunate, who look like them, but all people who are equally fortunate to them and don't look like them and people who aren't fortunate and do look like them. They need to be able to listen to everyone. So I went with that And I think I honestly believe that our four children, as they're out there in the world on their own a couple in healthcare, one in engineering and one in a financial analyst I believe that they all enjoy all different kinds of people and all different backgrounds, religions, different races.
Speaker 2:And that starts at home. It does, and that is our obligation to society.
Speaker 1:I think, and I just keep thinking as well, it's like it's our job as well, to leave the world in a much better place than when we came here.
Speaker 2:We have to, we have to Right And I think, america, which I'm proud to be an American but sometimes we think that we're so much better than other countries, right, but really, what do we need to do now? I think we need to be decent And I think the mothers are really capable. I don't think it's just everyone has a job. Of course the politicians do, of course the professionals do, but I think, as mothers, i think that we have a real, a lot of power to make the world nicer. I think it was Jackie Kennedy who said if I bonger raising my children, nothing else I've accomplished really matters. I read that, i think, when I had the chance to visit the White House and I thought, as I was pushing my stroller to expose my child to the White House, she probably couldn't fully appreciate it, but I thought well, i remember that I learned that.
Speaker 1:Right, and I think by taking our kids to those different places, it's in hopes that we're teaching them something, but I think something's being layered within our spirit that we're learning from that moment as well.
Speaker 2:I think that's so true because we never know. We never know what inspires us to continue on the path, because parenting can be hard and economics of reality can be very difficult for all of us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's a key pushing forward To keep pushing forward.
Speaker 2:We are all athletes of parenting.
Speaker 1:I agree. So to the younger generation, us more mature mothers and fathers, it's our job to keep passing the baton Right.
Speaker 2:That is exactly true. We're all running this. That's a good analogy, Trina. We are all in a relay in some ways.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so what would be some of the key messages or ideas that you would like for the listeners to take away about what your mom taught you, about education, bringing it back to it's our jobs as mothers to lead the charge.
Speaker 2:I think that education is really. My mother had a couple graduate degrees and in my family we have worked hard to also attain a high level of education. Okay, but I really think my mom would say and this book portrays that education is really life. It is really about life. My husband was educated and raised by his. Actually, he was born when his father was in graduate school. Oh, interesting.
Speaker 2:And so he was left behind with his grandparents, who were coal miners and had an education of the fourth grade. He was raised by his grandma, through his, until he was almost five, by his grandmother, who actually stopped her job, i believe, as a cleaning person to stay home with my husband, frank, and raise him and make him homemade soup. And his grandparents, one was a coal miner and one was a labor at Puget Power, and they watched a lot of TV and they ate a lot of soup. But I think my husband, who he grew up to, be a MD, phd, and I think that he felt very educated And I think sometimes just that warm body next to you that's working hard and talking and laughing a little bit, even watching sports, and he learned how to dig up a basement and make a bowling alley. In a lower level, i think the president had a bowling alley and so grandpa Vince thought he could have a bowling alley too.
Speaker 2:So even though his house had two bedrooms, he had a bowling alley. No, that's great. So Frank really learned how to work there. And I think that's what Frank and I have in common is the real, a work ethic, a very strong work ethic. And I think sometimes they say that third generation of success loses it, that people become lazy really And they think that they're in this class above other people. And I hope that my book portrays to my children when they read it, you know, 20 years down the road. So these children will realize that they don't have a golden path. They need to roll up their sleeve and work hard and to be honest and to be considerate, and you can always learn something. It's not just about school and grades.
Speaker 1:Right And that's true, And I think that's anything that your book really has taught me too is consistency. There was a lot of consistency that I saw in the early parts of your life that move its way through. Going back to your mom.
Speaker 2:She promoted that day and day out, yeah, every single day. And the breakfast was a big deal. I still think it is. You know, my mom used to get up very early. She taught school half the time and not half the time. We moved quite often, but no matter how early she had to be at school, we always had a table that was set with silverware and napkin And she always had. You know, it was like we were at the Ritz or something. Yeah, well, the truth is we were having, you know, a hard-boiled egg on a piece of lovely china Right And orange juice that was probably not that had a lot of water in it, let's put it that way. And I think that morning really let us know that. You know, we had a big day ahead of us. We needed to have a stomach full of healthy food. And then, i think later, when she was, you know, teaching us math, we would talk a lot about the cost of groceries.
Speaker 2:And I think things were perhaps a little tougher on my parents at times of their life, and I knew exactly how much eggs were and I knew exactly, you know, how much bacon was And so, and I became an accountant initially, and so you know, i always think that making you know saving a little money with that healthy food always helps.
Speaker 1:Right, and can I ask you what prompted you to go into law from being an accountant?
Speaker 2:So I was a CPA and then we moved to Boston and Frank was starting his training in medicine and it was a three year ordeal. So that was law school. That was the same time. So I thought, well, that's nice. I, you know, i kind of like to do something for children. I always had an interest in being an advocate for children, so I actually.
Speaker 2:They had a program called battered women's advocacy program, which I thought was a good program, and I was a battered women advocate as a law student. It was hard, it was really hard to see and I really had trouble sleeping at night. I truly did. And so my husband said you know what, maybe that's not the best area for you, because if you can't leave it, you know, if you can't leave it, then you need to realize, you recognize it and you need to be there in a different way. So then I, i did law with a focus in tax law and then also I did a LLM and taxation, which was in outside of Philadelphia, kind of near our home, because my husband did this fellowship in cardiology.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:I really wanted to do is stay home and raise my children. But I didn't want my resume to indicate that I was just this mom at home, because I thought being a mom was very important. So I did the LLM and taxation at Villanova at night, down near my home.
Speaker 2:So then I taught at night, my husband was home and after I graduated And when I graduated actually from Villanova, i had a two year old and an infant and I went on this stage, you know, when you accept your diploma and they put me in the paper, i think, because you know I was really a new generation mother, you know a mother who was. I was very proud of my children and I was. I wanted them to be a part of it. Yeah, You know I felt like we had all made it through that Yeah. And so I my mother had always said that education is your best insurance policy, that if something happens, you always have your education, And even as a mom.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you know you feel a little bit I don't know frumpy or less confident And I feel when you have an education, there's a part of you that realizes okay, i can definitely get a job and I can definitely have a better chance of having a higher compensation. And if I'm choosing to focus on raising my children, i have self-respect And I will always have something.
Speaker 1:So part three of your memoir found really beautiful is you said, and this is chapter 48, part three is finding home. Ava and the Therapy Horses, you said. Often the source of an education is quite unexpected. And then in there you tell us how your daughter, ava, always seemed to have an ability to help children.
Speaker 2:You know, I think In the book it was my reflection, but it was also for her. It was also, I know, the biggest readers of this book. I am educated as a lawyer. You consider your audience. The audience is primarily my children.
Speaker 1:Those are the most important parties to me.
Speaker 2:I could tell she wanted to help children. She was the oldest of a family of four And so the therapy horses. We actually fell upon that because the man who did the tile in our house, his wife, was a therapy horse person And Ava had loved riding horses, so she did this. She was so calm and the children had disabilities and that riding the horses was very therapeutic for him. And she's a very calm person, she's very methodical And horses know when you're not telling the truth, and so she trusted the horses, they trusted her, the children were there, it was all good. And now she's just graduated.
Speaker 1:This year She has a MD, phd and bone cancer That's her research project And she's doing orthopedic surgery, which children would be a common patient And I found that, as much as I believe that we I, you teach our children in this whole story, in this journey of life, they're teaching us so much more.
Speaker 2:It's a trading of information back and forth, But I also think that they do things that we see and no one else does. I agree, and that's because we're there, yeah, and in the story, nick who, when we went, we went out to this garbage place to get to Seneca Tile with the rejected tiles in. You know the snowing in Ohio and many moms wouldn't have taken their children to the reject pile, but I did because I thought when it'll be fun for them and they can pick some tile, we were renovating this house and that will be good. So Nick said mom, it's, it's like we're living in a dream. It's so beautiful with the snow and the colors and his sharpness, his eyes And I think he was probably about eight years old at the time, he was a little guy and he had a little bucket that he put these tiles in And then, when we got back to this house, he laid out these tiles in this really beautiful space. Well, he's the radiologist. He always had an eye Interesting. He always did, and so, even though you know he said he was going to do other things, he always the eye was very important to him. Yeah, so mothers see that And I think Joe always was preoccupied with airplanes He had in his bedroom.
Speaker 2:You know he wanted these airplanes, that you know these. He put one together and just these airplanes. He would talk about them And I kind of listened to him when he'd talk about them and he'd draw these pictures when he's a aerospace engineer, here you go. So I think there's a lot of professions that these children have inside of them, right, and it has to see them. You know, i think so many parents think, oh, i'll say that they'll grow up to be, you know, a lawyer or a doctor.
Speaker 2:But so often it's what they're seeing that is important.
Speaker 1:It's not just one or two professions. It's like sometimes too, when you hear little boys or little girls others say I want to be an educator. Right, we need more educators. People with compassionate hearts go into that profession. But sometimes I hear parents saying you won't make a lot of money in that profession, you know, choose something else. And then that crushes their spirit And, if anything, we should be uplifting them, because we need everybody We need so many educators?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, we do, and that I find interesting. I think Joe said to me he'd read a book about the chosen population, or the superior population, which I think is Northern Europe, finland, and the educators there actually earn similar compensation to the types of jobs that you know that we pay very high in America, so why does America not pay the educators an adequate amount? I agree, i mean some of it, i think, is it's paid through real estate taxes, not through federal sources, but I hope has a future for the next And also the teachers. Such an important job, such a powerful job. There's so much impact that they have for themselves, for their community and for their children and for everyone else's children also.
Speaker 2:I think that we need to raise more teachers and then, you know, respect them. All of us need to respect them, and the benefits are pretty good. I think sometimes people don't realize that you know the benefits of having some time off. You know, during holidays and during summers, to have good insurance benefits. I hope someone in my family becomes a teacher and they still may, you don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's true. We don't know. That's true because the story is not done yet.
Speaker 2:Right it is not done and people change. You know, sometimes people choose different things. They'll change over time, exactly.
Speaker 1:And there's nothing wrong with that, right? You know, i always say too, it's the evolution of who we are becoming. Who we are today, we may not be the same people we are tomorrow, and that's okay as long as we're pushing forward in the right direction, right? So, yes, for those listeners out there, let's encourage the next generation to become those teachers, because I know I think back to some of my favorite teachers. I know you can think back to some of your favorite people who had that lasting impact and who made a difference in your life. For me it was Mrs Bernhaisel, and for me there were.
Speaker 2:So I actually you know it's back in some ways to the other top discussed briefly, which was the race impact. So for me, when I went to college, when I kind of fell apart from my first exam in college and the professor his name was Professor Black, the University of Washington I ended up with this class I knew nothing about as an accounting major And I felt like you know, i thought how did I end up with this? And then I thought I could just hear my mom saying well, college is to learn about things that you don't know about And I felt she really would respect that I was going to be in this class, black sociology. So I was. I was petrified of doing the essays because I was really pretty strong with numbers but I really wasn't very strong in writing And I fell apart from my exam. I broke into tears, i left, i thought I would fail college.
Speaker 2:But Professor Black, when I left his class crying, he gave me a piece of paper with an office number. He told me to go there after class. I went there right after class. He said you know what? We need to just get something down here on paper. You need to, you need to try, and some of those answers are right there, because much of it was multiple choice. So the answer was there. It was either A, b, c, d or E. So he kind of you know, clued me into that. The answers are there, it's right there, you just pick which one. And so anyway I did, and I got a couple of points off on the essays, but I ended up with a B in the class And at the end of that day I thought Professor Black is a decent human being And he made me realize I could do college To be grateful to people who are, you know, maybe different from ourselves, but offering much more than we have to offer. Isn't that true?
Speaker 1:And I think, too, it's having people within your circle who are different, and I think you used a term in your book And I had never heard this term before with PLU Oh, people like us.
Speaker 2:I never heard that before. I hadn't either. I remember someone saying to me oh, you should having children with PLU parents, and I said PL you, what is that? And I was thinking it was a religion or something. Anyway, they said it was people like us, and I think in the environment that Trina and I live, there are so many different people with different parenting and different backgrounds, and there is no one like us. I think that other people, who maybe went to college for a long time they don't all parent the way I do, and I think I probably parented far more similar to my husband's grandmother, who had a fourth grade education which was providing lots of love, the kitchen table, the smell of soup and a little chuckle here and there. That's it. I think it's.
Speaker 2:I don't wanna be with PLU people. I actually enjoy being around people that are different from me, exactly Because I think the world would be pretty boring if we were all like me. It would be. I mean, it would be just, you know, it would be colorful though. I don't know. I don't know, i wear colorful dresses that I sell, but I think you know, it's far more interesting to have life a little yeah, a little different, add a little different comment to the thing.
Speaker 1:And, like you said, it's to surround yourself with people who don't think like you, so that you can have a broader sense of what it means to be connected to different people within the world. Right, i would much rather prefer to be in a world where I am surrounded by diverse people who think differently than myself, because that challenges me, like if everybody agreed with me all the time again. How boring would that be. It's like, okay, i could just talk to myself in the mirror Right And be like okay, trina, what do you have to say today? You know, i agree.
Speaker 2:And there's a better out there that we don't know yet. I agree, i think there's something out there that we, as Americans, who we think we're such leaders, i think we need to be more gelled, we need to be more connected.
Speaker 1:I agree with you on that. I wanna know what did your children think when you gifted them the Aubergine education?
Speaker 2:Well, i think they were. You know, on one side it was at Christmas, they all opened it at once. Okay, nice.
Speaker 2:So on one side they thought it was fake Because it said my name and it was in a book, you know it's a purple book and it's hardcover And it's hardcover And it has a picture of our snowy driveway which I think they probably recognize right away. And I think they kind of thought you know, she actually figured out how to do this, which, i admit, my husband helped me with all of that. But then they were away for a while and they didn't necessarily say, you know, oh my gosh, i'm so amazed. But I could tell that they were quietly reading it on their own And I think it's nice.
Speaker 2:When I go to their homes it's on the coffee table which means the world to me, Wow, And I also felt like you know, if you were wanting to spend a lot of time with one of my children, maybe you should get to know their family via the mother's voice right. Oh, that's brilliant. Because if someone you know doesn't have the values that we do, that's okay, that's their choice, but they need to know what our values are, but that would be brilliant for those who are interested in becoming possibly part of our family, part of the family, if you want to fall in love with one of these children.
Speaker 1:The core of who. Everyone is Right. Yeah, i'm writing that down. I might steal that. You can do that, trina. Okay, i'll gift it to you, you gift it to me.
Speaker 2:It's a gift, so it's not a theft, because you have permission. Thank you. You guys heard it here first. Yeah, that's okay.
Speaker 1:The last question that I do have for you is what do you hope readers will take away from an alvergene education?
Speaker 2:You know, i think, depending who the audience is, who that reader is, but if the reader is the person who thinks the airport mother or the airplane mother who thinks it's all about getting straight A's and going to the helicopter, the helicopter. Okay, yeah, i have the wrong line.
Speaker 1:No, but I hear you go with it.
Speaker 2:You're right. I think they need to lighten up, I think they need to enjoy life, Yeah, And realize that. You know you can't just complain to teachers all the time and complain to everyone and complain and complain, And I think that that's how your child will get this amazing education. I think that you need to learn to live a bit of an education. And I think for those that are maybe like you know my husband's grandparents maybe a little bit afraid, kind of feeling like I have no idea how to get my child on that right track, I think that they probably have all the tools in their tool bag that they could ever want Consistency, taking an interest in different environments around them. Car trips are very interesting, You know. There's just so much to do that is worthwhile. That's really closer than we think.
Speaker 1:I agree.
Speaker 2:You know, and travel abroad is an option more to more than one would think. Yeah, i think so. And be open to the adventure of life. Be open Right, Be open to the adventure. So you know, I hope that everyone. I think when people are educated, they have confidence And I think if we had you know, we could all be confident people, We could have 100% confidence in our country, We could be citizens of the world And all be confident. No one has to be at the bottom.
Speaker 1:And everybody should have a slice of the pie, right? I just want to say thank you Again for taking this time, and enjoyable time.
Speaker 1:And every time I leave you and I think that's why I surround myself with certain people, because you always leave me with different food for thought, something for me to take on my journey, something for me to put in my backpack, to implement in the world and even share with my children so that they can leave the world a much better place Again it goes back to the gravitational pull that I feel when I'm with you, that you enlighten me in ways that maybe I needed to be enlightened. Right, you know so, right, and I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that, yeah, when my Nick went to Philadelphia during the pandemic, where you were from And I thought, gosh, you know he couldn't even go into the city to look at an apartment or anything because of the pandemic. So he had to rent a hotel for a year, a hotel space. So he drove in and the police wouldn't let him drive in because he didn't have a residency card. He didn't have a, but you know what?
Speaker 2:He had, his hotel agreement that he showed him That's good And I told him Trina's from here And that was fine. He loved living in downtown Philadelphia, That's awesome.
Speaker 1:He had the best food. That's awesome. Yeah, cheese sticks and geno's. perhaps He loved it.
Speaker 2:He loved having the food The hoagies Yeah. And now he's in Georgia, which is a different environment also, but he likes that And it's good to experience different things. I agree, Yeah, yeah, structures us. Yeah, So we made him so he could you know, so he would thrive there also. That's good. So, that's good. You and Frank, we, you, we the world. Yeah, The world is what it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you did well, my friend. Yeah, well, thank you. Yeah, i want you to know that I totally enjoyed this conversation And for and I've told you this before for you sharing your inspiration, just your wisdom, your knowledge that you have gleaned along. You know this journey And again it goes back to your unwavering resilience, your poise, your strength as a mom, and always you have always led with a compassionate heart, teaching your children how to change the world. I will be forever grateful that we met along this journey. Well, thank you And you're welcome.
Speaker 2:Eva, you are truly a beautiful young woman at 15. Daily, i recall my life at your age. I remember walking home from school in the leaves and living life to its fullest, as I believe you do. I recollect the weather becoming colder and discovery of my mother's illness. The chill of the air seemed to freeze my last fond memories of my own doting mom. It hurts to remember, but I can clearly envision my final winter with my mama. She was a remarkable teacher, both to her students and to her children, and she seemed to prepare me for life, as she left me alone at 16 and she entered the gates of heaven.
Speaker 2:Eva, i know that you will remain devoted to our family and expanded by the one you create. I also pray that you will remain loyal to your professional aspirations. Do not settle and do not feel pressure to follow. This would only make you unhappy and those around you empty. Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. This wisdom of Ralph Waldo Emerson is our guidance for you. Stefan, nick and Joe, you are my three wise men, while you are only 13, 10 and 4 at this writing. Eva is fortunate to have you as you are to have one another. I trust that you will always keep each other close. I hope to be alive, to see each of you through college, happily involved in careers that you pursue with passion And, if you choose, marrying and bearing children and grandchildren. Daddy and I would love to be there for you always, but just in case should an illness or tragedy interrupt my plans, i would like to leave you some notes so that you can hear my messages throughout your lives.