The Mick & Pat Show

The Mick & Pat Show - Life's Weird Thumb

• Mick and Pat • Season 3 • Episode 17

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Ever wondered what happens when two friends share their most embarrassing health stories over exotic craft beers? This episode takes an unexpectedly hilarious and illuminating journey through the challenges of adult life, from medical mysteries to cultural observations.

The conversation begins with a tasting of Trve Brewing's "See the Moon" mixed culture ale – a beer so complex it delivers three distinct flavor experiences in a single sip.

When the discussion shifts to upcoming films like "Warfare" and "28 Years Later," the hosts examine what makes a war movie authentic versus propaganda, and why some horror franchises maintain their integrity while others falter.

But the episode's unexpected highlight arrives when one host shares his medical journey seeking treatment, an embarrassing condition into a universal lesson in men's health.

This blend of cultural analysis, personal vulnerability, and practical wisdom showcases why conversations between friends remain our most valuable source of both entertainment and education. Whether you're interested in craft beer, upcoming films, or finally addressing that health issue you've been ignoring, this episode offers both comfort and a gentle nudge toward better life choices.

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Speaker 1

Welcome. Welcome to the Mick and Pat show. I'm Mick.

Speaker 2

I'm Pat.

True Brewing Beer Tasting

Speaker 1

And thanks again for joining us again. We always appreciate it. I've received some very encouraging feedback from the last couple weeks of our content and episodes and just happy to be sharing our stories and life, and all that Even on a week where, you know, I don't really know what we're going to talk about, until it happens sometimes. And, pat, you brought some delicious, interesting beers. I actually have had these before. I think my buddy grabbed them for my birthday or like the day we were celebrating my birthday, but and we tried them, and these are two of True Brewing, because we love True Brewing here. These are two of their like fancy bottled. What is this, you think? Oh, 500 milliliters, um, beers, but they're ones that they like brewed in 2022 and sat in some kegs or food is. See the moon, oh, and I got both.

Speaker 1

See the moons I didn't get the other one oh, you got both seasons all right well, I guess we don't even need glasses, we can just drink straight a hot bottle. Yeah, um, this one is I'll say this is really good and the other one's really good, but they're incredibly distinct from each other.

Speaker 2

It's a mixed culture, ale which? I don't know if I've ever had one of those before.

Speaker 1

Well, I don't even know what that means, because so many you could say a lot of beer is technically mixed culture ale. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2

Yep, yep, and I picked this one over the other one because I can't remember the ingredients. This one's got the uh, jasmine flower and uh something hops, that's a weird font but the um, the other one I forgot what it said on it, but I was like I'm going with this one there is one of them literally made my tongue numb.

Speaker 1

Like it's one of the most oddest experiences I've had with a beer like and, and both of them have like three or four distinct tastes. Like you're gonna have an immediate taste and then a middle taste, and then you're gonna have like a swallow and the first breath you take is gonna taste like something else. Um, it's pretty, it's pretty interesting. But uh, yeah, these are from True Brewing. I don't know if they've done this before. You know, like, if like this is a specific thing they're doing all the time, part of me does wonder if this is like a revelation. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1

Because, isn't it like the great dragon in revelations comes up and swallows the moon? I think you might be right yeah, so, and this is straight up a dragon flying, breathing. It's got some like satanic looking horns and the beer is called see the moon, so maybe it's like a reference to revelation, but, um, anyways, uh yeah, it's pretty good, um, and I'm stoked to see pat go through it because it was definitely like a very unique experience first time I had it.

Speaker 2

So um the uh. The woman is, in revelation, depicted wearing the sun and with the moon under her feet, but so, and I guess he's like, has his mouth open at the beneath the woman to catch the baby. So interesting. Yeah, that's the uh um, the old, real revelation there well, this, this dragon on here.

Speaker 1

It's holding hops and barley, yeah and Yep. So I don't know if this is the one that's trying to eat Jesus, um, but any news. Uh, pat, I think you should crack it open, all right, because I really want to see you experience. See how it's pretty crazy, man.

Speaker 2

See the moon to the sink Is this is this beer legal in all 50 states?

Speaker 1

It definitely has a strange, strange taste to it. It definitely took me two or three sips to really figure it out. Let's see.

Speaker 2

It's still carbonated in there. That's good. Oh, it smells good. It does smell good, true man.

Speaker 1

I'm always excited for the true. Those smells like come out like just pure soda. It's hard to explain like. It's like a fermented soda beer yeah, that's, that's good.

Speaker 2

Going through the, how many flavors are you getting? It's changing because it was at one point it was like I was having a sour, I think that was in the middle. At the beginning it was like I was drinking a light summer beer. Then it turned into a sour and at the end it got kind of thick, like that creamy, bready taste, you know.

Speaker 1

But I honestly don't know how they could do it like how do you get those flavors distinctly, one after the other, versus like them just all being layered on top of each other? I don't know, that's.

Speaker 2

I like that. The each other. I don't know that's. I like that the cultured ale. It's good for your gut health. Is this what we're doing? This is healthy, maybe For the old belly.

Speaker 1

Anyways, should we give it a swish test? We're not reviewing this beer, by the way. Yeah, we're not reviewing this beer, by the way. Yeah, we're not doing like a specific brewery review, but Might as well.

Speaker 2

Might as well, do it. Swish test.

Speaker 1

If you don't know what the swish test is, you take about a tablespoon amount into your tongue I mean not into your tongue, into your mouth and you let it roll over your tongue, go over. You let it roll over your tongue, go over the back, over the sides, go under it, kind of just moving your tongue around so it can get coated. Then you start squishing side to side and then you put all the beer in front of your tongue and push it with your tongue through the, the front teeth.

Speaker 2

It really aerates, it really foams it up, it brings out all the flavors and pat is looking like he is going through a lot of confusion right now it looks like he is very confused by everything he's he's experiencing which I forgot what that taste is at the end kind of like a lemon drop, I think it was like a. It's like a. Yeah, it has like a like this.

Speaker 1

It's not super sour, but it has this as it finishes off it's, it's. It's like is it a lemon drop? Is that what it is I'm trying to?

Speaker 2

figure out what that, that flavor is. It's like it was confusing.

Speaker 1

It was very familiar, like the beginning is for sure sweeter and the middle is like kind of floral ale you expect, but that the end of it is like a weird total kind of mind f.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it kind of makes my tongue numb. That's what you're saying earlier exactly.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah, getting on your whole tongue the other one is like got mint in it. I think it's mint in something.

Speaker 2

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1

And that one is really numbing because of the mint on your tongue. But yeah, no, these it's a good beer, um anyways. Uh, pat, before we started you were saying you were talking about this movie you've been hearing a lot about, called Warfare.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, we started. You're saying you're talking about this movie you've been hearing a lot about called warfare. Yeah, and I think we should. I think we should review it. I've heard a lot of good things about it because, like the guy who came out with, I heard a lot of his friends pushing it like out there, ray mendoza wrote direct the film that's based in the kind of uh, battle Ramadi, like 2007-ish I believe, which would be like post the American Sniper story. These guys were the ones that came in, actually after Chris Kyle's team and all that left. They came in right after. So lots of like the you know, that Task Unit Bruiser group has gotten a lot of recognition. They got lots of podcasts, whatever out there. Jocko's that, that uh testing and bruiser group has gotten a lot of like recognition. They got lots of podcasts, whatever out there, chaco's, people like that. And so the. I've heard like those guys say like this movie is awesome, you got to go see it, right.

Speaker 2

And then I was like you know, you hook, you help your friends out, you tell people to go see your friends and movies, but then there's been like other you know people like I think, think, uh, the biggest one I saw today that was like, oh, I need to see this and then I was gonna see it either way, but it's like maybe we should do it for a bruising reviews is because, um, it was a critical drinker just came out with the video and he was like, yeah, this is it, and he's critical of everything.

Speaker 2

And he's, yeah, and he like he's, he's kind of to be fair, he was critical of the last movie.

Speaker 1

That what's his name did? Is it Alex Garland? I can't remember if it's Alex Garland or not, but this is the same guy who made Civil War, which I enjoyed Civil War. I don't remember if you enjoyed it or not. Did we do a bruising review on it or did we just briefly talk about it?

Speaker 2

Is this one where it's just all about the reporters?

Speaker 1

Yeah, it's following the reporters. It's not about the reporters.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if I had known that going in I've been happier versus like I. Just I thought it was going to be war, War. All the time and then it was just like, oh, the journalists are the heroes of the day and I'm like thanks for, yeah, sponsored this film, bro. Like literally, he like did he really? I'm pretty sure this is one of the ones. He was like, yeah, let's make this one. It's because, like, the press is the press is good for you, interesting, whatever.

Speaker 1

So anyways, kind of like my little side hair brained dude, I liked I liked civil war, because there was like that whole point where they could have just made the gun tubers like the boogaloo boys. They could have just been like, yeah, let's just show them getting clapped. And then the boogaloo boys won. Dude, the boogaloo boys won their little skirmish and I was like oof that I wonder how that went over with like advisors or whatever. You know what I mean. Um, but uh, anyways, yeah.

Speaker 1

So this is uh, apparently by him as well. Is it Alex Garland? I think it's Alex Garland, yep. So I'm looking forward to seeing it and I've only heard good things from friends who are not huge movie people that went and saw it, and also from people who are very critical cinephiles and really enjoyed it. So I think it's probably going to be a home run, which is good. We kind of enjoyed it. So I think it's probably going to be a home run, which is good. We kind of need it. We need another non-cringy, non-propaganda, just good storytelling war movie, and I also watched the cast of the movie breaking down a scene in it.

Speaker 1

And I think that really also sold me on seeing it, because the dudes that were in the cast seemed very I don't know. They seemed almost like stressed, still, oh yeah, like they almost seemed traumatized from like doing this movie. Like doing this movie because I think I mean they did the workout. You know, they did essentially the full uh, um, black hawk down routine of like training every day together and doing the seal training and getting into the mindset of communications and stuff, and um, they did a lot of their own stunts because they were like no, like we can do this now because we, we did the training. Like it's not like it is not like they're doing crazy stunts where they're like no, we can do this now Because we did the training. It's not like they're doing crazy stunts where they're jumping down mountains or something.

Speaker 1

But where they're just like all right, we're going to have a grenade, come in the room, you're going to roll off the table and kick it over, so that way it covers you from shrapnel. And Alex Garland, the director, was like yeah, this is a nightmare, because these guys all wanted to. Just they never wanted to step off set because they wanted to stay in character and I was afraid they were just going to smash their arms you know like rolling off of a table onto a stone floor or something and then the other co-director, co-writer ray mendoza.

Speaker 2

He was actually. He was the seal that the story's based. Yeah, he was there, so I think that helps like and it's apparently, as far as I can tell, true story.

Speaker 1

But you know what? They got me with Operation Red Wing. They got me with Lone Survivor.

Speaker 2

Oh yeah. So who knows what true stories are?

Speaker 1

Yeah, Did you not hear that Lone Survivor is almost entirely fabricated?

Speaker 2

Yeah, lots of pieces. What you're saying is, back in the day, when you first saw it, you're like this is legit. And then now you're.

Speaker 1

Now, I believe I believed it was legit until like six months ago when marcus latrelle went on the podcast and just like was like he kind of just wanted to tear it down. He's like no, that's true. Like I pretty much just said what they were telling me to say, based off of what happened on the operation because they wanted to make a film in a book and like use it as a media piece, right, I was just like oh my gosh what.

Speaker 1

And then like pretty much went off without like no real coverage, like no one really flipped out about it. I was like dude for the last. Like 10, 15 years, people have been joining the military based off of that story.

Speaker 2

I don't know, maybe sad yeah it was definitely one of those ones where there was a lot of extra um, well, I mean, basically they took like it happened, but then it kind of didn't, though. What I mean is like the people who died died, like the people who died died, and like the like things have, like the, the operators who died, the rescue that came in to get them, like all that happened, but then like all the like Hollywood details of it really didn't like play out that way, like yeah, and so it was. It would have been a fairly tragic, a fairly tragic, boring movie of the version of you know, like yeah, he escaped, his friends died were they all together the whole time fighting it out or not?

Speaker 1

who we?

Speaker 2

don't know. Yeah, then you know, was in a village for a couple days till he got rescued I think he was still there for like it was actually like six months oh, and that time he was there.

Speaker 2

Yeah, he had like a long recovery and then you know, with um, and then, yeah, like you know, the helicopters came in to rescue it, like to find him maybe, but then they did get shot down, they all you know pretty much all died and they did all die, but like that happened, but the yeah, the all, the most the fighting and everything, and that's you know pretty well uh stories. And have you have you seen, have you watched the um uh footage from the other fighters point of view?

Modern Films and Production Values

Speaker 1

I didn't know. There was footage from the taliban yeah that were there during operational. Yeah, oh, operation, right, yeah it's really it's pretty rough.

Speaker 2

You just hear like you don't see any of the guys, but you can hear them like yelling to it. You can hear the the guys yelling to each other, the seals like yelling to each other, crying out for each other, and then like less voice. It like really you can just tell it's not going well over there, it's not like that opening scene where they just start roasting me and then like, because then there is.

Speaker 2

Then there's pictures the Taliban had of like of their gear, of a tattoo that Dietz had, like that's what I confirmed they had like all that stuff.

Speaker 2

But they put all that stuff. So there are some videos out there of like Red Wings and it's like classic, like full shaky cam taliban. Yeah, crappy footage but that's crazy. But the the most like disturbing part of that is listening to them like yell for each other and they were like they were pretty young. They're like boys, you know. I mean like they were men but like they weren't. You know it's weird now that, like you know, I mean they were as far as they're pretty much in their early 20s, right like I think yeah, I think it will.

Speaker 1

I think marcus and axe were like approaching approaching 30, but d danny deets was real young. Yeah, uh, I remember that. But um, anyways, all I said um warfare sounds exciting. It's based on a true story. If the you know, we'll see if the story's true. But that's unfortunately what happens when you cry a wolf it always casts a shadow of a doubt on stuff.

Speaker 2

So we'll see.

Speaker 1

But all I said, I'm excited, I kind of want to go see it. Everyone's saying to go see it and go see it in movie theaters, not at home, because it's sound designed for cinema and so I kind of I really want to do that. I imagine it's going to be a lot like a top gun right where it's you know incredibly explosive echoing sound, for you know 24 speakers yeah, I think it'll be a good one.

Speaker 2

So, yeah, I think, yeah, well, I want to catch it in theaters before it's gone and we talk about it on here. I feel like it's those movies it might be a movie that's like the types of movies I like that haven't been coming out for a long time.

Speaker 1

Whatever has been coming out, I'm not really sure what to call it genre wise, genre suck it's just like direct to streaming, I guess like you know like designed for direct to streaming stuff, you know so much of what I've heard that's come out is just like trash, dude, it's just like it's forgettable, mindless, like garbage. Um, and I feel bad saying that because I know a lot of people are putting you know effort into these things, but that's just what I'm hearing. I mean, I'm not even spending money to go see any of this stuff really anymore, right, and it is just crazy to me, like when I see these reviewers that you know have their whole career based on movies, and like it's just one after another after another of them just being like dude, it's just slop. Like they're literally making this movie, giving it a theater release, but the whole movie is designed to be just saturday afternoon netflix background stream you know and like that.

Speaker 1

That makes me so sad, because it just makes you think like there's nothing original in it, you know, and people are just sleepwalking through their performances I think that's where cgi has become the the big crutch of like yeah, part of it being like uh, what did I watch the other day?

Speaker 2

I think I watch heat you know and like and just like, just like being like watching one watching like a cars crash together, whatever being like that costs a lot of money. That costs a lot of money, you know, like every time versus like now, like I'm so watching val kilmer do the most perfect reload mag changing, yeah, yeah, and so, like just watching all that stuff, go it like, basically the.

Speaker 2

What I was thinking was you, you don't need a lot of money to be creative, but when you have these big budget films, really big budget, and a lot's on the line for them and they're not planning on it being a stinker, you have more skin in the game, you have a bigger. Hey guys, we only get one shot at this building coming. This building's going to come down. You got to make it happen. Say your line, look at the camera, the level of professionalism and dedication versus like, we'll fix it in post.

Speaker 2

I saw a clip from a Marvel movie where they AI'd her voice, they AI'd her mouth. I think it was on Corridor Crew. They didn't even need to cut back to her for the scene. They could have just had her speaking. Oh, and I know, you know, and it's like they ai'd her mouth. Talking was like what the heck? Like why even bother? Why even bother? What was that? That was like that. So that kind of like mentality is just like well, that's why you're also gonna, so you're, you're going to get smaller budgets. Studios would be less risky. Um, there's less, less at stake, you know, and so then it's like then the creativity like yeah, demand for it goes out the window. I think I like in some ways have you heard about the electric state?

Speaker 1

it was a movie that just came out on netflix that the uh brothers, uh, russo brothers that did all the avengers movies they uh, were trying to make, essentially the next big, oh, the chris pratt one, yeah, franchise. Chris pratt and millie bobby brown yeah, oh dude, and it just stunk like I didn't watch it but it like it made no money rotten tomatoes cost 320 million dollars that's yeah, yeah, so, yeah, yeah, like to that point, like the.

Speaker 2

That's where is there? Are these huge? There are these huge ones where they are just throwing tons of money at it and they're like dude, like I gotta imagine a hundred million of that was funding the funko pops line and all the other, like merchandise that was supposed to make this like something that everyone wanted to be a part of yeah, yeah, the rotten tomatoes score on it was 15 even on like audience and critics, or what um, let's see, I haven't clicked on yet, but but I mean, that's brutal dude.

Speaker 1

It's hard to get like actually under 50%, like it's pretty hard to get that bad.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's bad man, and so I do think you have to have a healthy pairing of it. It's not just because you, like, are throwing hundreds of millions at it, and it's also not just because you have like the heart behind it, cause you do have. You have the Napoleon Dynamites, the $30,000 budget and, wow, that really worked, you know. But then also I'm thinking to like the kind of the star Wars, lord of the Rings, like these were cost a ton of money, but the directors themselves, even at that level of money they're getting, they're getting, they still have to like beg, borrow and steal, scrounge for it, like really work for it, go on set for, like you know, freeze their nuts off.

Speaker 1

Like, freeze camera crews, stop, delay stuff. What's crazy. When you like, look at lord of the rings and like what the lord of the rings would cost today to do all three movies and how much they made back versus what electric state costs, you know what I mean. Or like, or like some of these other ones that are just like and people are like oh well, it's, it's cheaper to do cgi armies and it's like well, dude, yeah, the original-in painted actor army duplicated over and over Right Size-wise.

Speaker 2

It wasn't a fake, it wasn't just slop, it wasn't two fake guys that they then created into 10,000 things. Yeah, and it was $94 million was the budget for Return of the King.

Speaker 1

That's crazy. That Return of the King was 94 million and it's like, looks that good.

Speaker 2

So, even like with inflation or change or whatever, it still would not be even near this. You know, maybe you know what Hollywood needs a little little doge action, probably on some of those numbers. Oh yeah, Like what's going on, but the probably on some of those numbers too, like what's going on? Um, yeah, but the yeah. So I feel like with this movie, uh, warfare one, I'm hoping it's more of that. You know, hey, however much they had to spend on and I was like, hey, we really got to get this right.

Speaker 1

We, we want to really do it, you know, and we'll see yeah, I, uh, I think warfare is pretty legit too, because I don't think it's trying to be any more than just this instance. What happened here on this one day which is also why so many of us love Black Hawk Down, because Black Hawk Down is literally a 24-hour period, but warfare is 90 minutes. The movies are 90 minutes long, and so it's like it's all just like happening now in the moment, supposed to feel like an absolute heinous rollercoaster ride that you can't get off of and then it's over because the day's over, the event is done. We don't, we don't go back to follow these guys home and see what their marriage life's like. It's just like. No, it was just about this one day, which I think is honestly what the military movie should be.

Speaker 1

I don't think I don't know we don't need to see military movies be biopics. You know what I mean, because unfortunately, I think that's the part, part of, like the american sniper movie that's, of course, the weakest, in my opinion, is when they treat it like it's a movie star by or not a movie star, but like a musician biopic, where they're like and here's him, not on tour anymore and he's at home, and it's like they're juggling the balance of life in this career and this, like you know, marriage and kids and stuff and family and I'm just like I don't, I don't care if I'm being honest I don't care at all, like yeah, you know what I mean um, uh, just move it to all three.

Speaker 2

Lord of the rings trilogy was under 300 million to make.

Speaker 1

Each one was about 90 million I bet each one made somewhere in the neighborhood of like half a billion to a billion.

Speaker 2

The trilogy made $3 billion worldwide. Oh yeah, okay, all right. So that's some ROI, right there.

Speaker 1

No kidding dude, that's why none of those guys do anything anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 2

It's like why.

Speaker 1

Viggo Mortensen's like. I'll just take supporting roles like indie movies for the rest of my life because I can do whatever.

Speaker 2

I want. Yeah, and so this electric state one I mean, you said it was, the budget was over $325,000.

Speaker 1

Well, they're saying they've officially revealed that it was at least $320,000. But there's a lot of people who worked on it apparently, who have been doing some accounting. Yeah, Like no, it's like $390,000.

Speaker 2

It's like holy good Lord, like three times more expensive than the Lord of the Rings.

Speaker 1

Oh my gosh dude, that is a lot of hookers and blow for.

Speaker 2

Hollywood. You know what I mean, and uh, and definitely not even going to make that back.

28 Years Later Movie Preview

Speaker 1

No, not remotely. But and they don't even see it as a loss though, because, believe, like you know, when, because of the subscription model, it's like movies can fail and like we just like we have money coming in, you know. So, anyways, it's all pretty crazy to me. But, um, have you seen the uh trailer for the new like uh movie in the 28 days series?

Speaker 2

no, you know what, 28 days later is yeah, yeah, the that, the spider one.

Speaker 1

No, no, no, that's eight-legged freaks which eight-legged freaks is also a really not good movie like. It's like not inappropriate, it's just not very good no, but there is one scene in uh, eight-legged freaks, where there's dudes on dirt bikes trying to outrun giant spiders and it's awesome, it's like worth watching that movie and like the other 80 minutes of garbage for the five minutes of that one scene.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I do know 20 days later. It's like they came out the same year. That's why it's in my brain that way. Yeah, yes.

Speaker 1

Alright. So I got two trailers I'm going to show you. Alright, they're very similar, but one is like this classic one that came out that is like to the track called Boots and Boots. Let me look it up. A lot of people have been using it on, like, uh, instagram reels and stuff like that, because, uh, it got very popular, um, uh, from this, from this trailer. But it's like, essentially this track or song I don't even know how to, I don't know how to like even really describe it. I guess it's, but it's like a war poem song from like way back in the day, oh boot the poem Boots yeah, yeah, I know.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a 1915 recording of.

Speaker 1

RDR boot. The poem Boots yeah, yeah, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1915 recording of Rudyard Kipling's Boots, it's a World War.

Speaker 2

I marching poem yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1

Yeah, but anyways they use this track for it, right? Oh really, because it's kind of just like how the zombies are just the boots right, it's just marching forever and marching on, marching forever.

Speaker 2

So is this a sequel or a remake?

Speaker 1

So this is 28 years later, which this is why I'm excited, right, because the original 28 Days Later was directed by Alex Garland. That's like what got Alex Garland his career, his?

Speaker 1

beginning if I remember correctly I'm double, I'm checking no, sorry, danny Boyle, danny Boyle, alex Garland got started with a different one, but then Danny Boyle did 28 Weeks Later, kind of I think I don't know if he was still director, was he still? No, he wasn't, but he was a producer for it, which he was a lot weaker. And then now there's 28 years later, which to me looks awesome Because Danny Boyle's back to direct it and he's just done good with a lot of other stuff like uh, did you ever see train spotting? Or slumdog millionaire, yes, slumdog. So he's had producer and director roles in a lot of those things.

Speaker 1

Um, and I just think he's honestly I don't know like he's. He just strikes me as like one of the best directors, kind of in hollywood. All like everything he touches feels pretty original. Um, it doesn't feel to me like he uh does like a whole lot of copying, um, and like even his sequel. So he did train spotting t2, which was like a interesting like sequel to the original Trainspotting. The original Trainspotting just follows like Irish druggies and like just getting in over their head. Ewan McGregor plays probably the best heroin addict I've ever seen on TV. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1

And like he crushes it and it's like the most classic, like hectic, like British crime, you know stress movie. But he also did this movie, sunshine, which Sunshine was like a really great horror movie with, uh, killian Murphy as well. Um, uh, 127 hours. That one was a pretty good movie. He did the Steve Jobs movie as well. Anyways, so he's doing 28 years later and, as you would expect, it's taking place 28 years after the initial outbreak.

Speaker 1

Right, that's kind of the whole premise of these movies is that this is is what's occurring, you know, after this virus gets out. Um, and it was really interesting. Did you ever see the original one?

Speaker 2

I never saw it no.

Speaker 1

So the virus escapes from animal rights activists going into a lab and trying to free the monkeys. And the monkeys are already infected with the virus and they bite one of the people and so they run and leave Like no one dies in the lab, but they're like, oh shit, we got to get out of here. Well, they get out and they've been bitten by the monkeys with the rage virus and, of course, killian Murphy wakes up. He's the OG, wakes up in a hospital. It's before the Walking Dead, right. So he wakes up in a hospital, looks around and it's gone right. Um, and so, uh, anyways, 20 years, 28 years later, is uh taking place after that? Um, and it's got one of my favorite actors, especially one of my favorite british actors nowadays, um, oh yeah, no, alex garland is involved in this. He's a writer. Yeah, he's a writer. Yeah, that's so sick. Um, but uh, aaron Taylor Johnson. I love Aaron Taylor Johnson.

Speaker 1

He was originally kick ass and I think he's just crushed everything. He's in like I've never seen him in a role where I thought he sucked, like he was in. He was in. I'm trying to even think of like a lighter movie he was in, where he still I think he was in one of the newest Kingsman movies One of the newer ones. I thought he was good in that. But he was also in the Tenant and his character was just like, essentially, captain Price from Call of Duty, like he just had chops and a beret on. Yeah, I was like badass dude. He just like he didn't have much to work with there, but he killed it. Dude, he did a good job he was in nosferatu also he was in nosferatu as well.

Speaker 1

Yeah, um, I thought he was great in nosferatu. I enjoyed his character anyways, but aaron taylor johnson really enjoy him. Uh, but these, uh, this, these two trailers make me stoked, because this still, even though this is like a, this is the third film in a series. It feels very, very original to me. Well, this is the third yeah, so there's 28 days later uh-huh, first one second was 21, I mean 28 weeks later, oh, which was also still very original it just wasn't, it wasn't enough time had gone by, or something no it just wasn't delivered by the cast.

Speaker 1

Well enough, jeremy renner is in it and he does a pretty good job, but like even then you could tell it's like an early career thing for jeremyner too and it's just not as delivered. Acting wise, as like the first one was.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

But it was still a really good, like unique take like 28 weeks later was like, okay, people are now coming back to England because, like we've created a quarantine zone and we can have like normal society again, and of course, people mess it up and they get get infected in the quarantine zone, and it was. It was pretty cool because it just shows like a government who's like all right, scrap it, kill them all again, and like they just start killing everybody in the quarantine zone. But all right here. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna turn it so you can watch too. But, um, this is uh, 28. This is the first trailer that came out like four months ago. That got me super stoked for it.

Speaker 1

What's going on? Do me sit, still, keep quiet and do not move from this spot. Seven, six, eleven, five, nine and twenty miles today. Four, eleven, seventeen, thirty, two the day before. Boost, boost, boost moving up and down again. There's no discharge in the war. Don't, don't, don't, don't, look at what's in front of you. Boost, boost, boost, boost Moving up and down again. Men, men, men, men, men, go mad with watching them. There's no discharge in the war. If your eyes drop, they will get the top of you. Poof, poof, poof, poof, moving up and down again.

Speaker 2

There's no discharge in the war. Fly, fly, fly, fly To think of something different. Oh my god, people going lunatic, folks, folks, folks, folks moving up and down again and no discharge in the world 7, 6, 11, 5, 4, 17, 32 the day before now.

Speaker 1

I have watched that trailer probably like 4 or 5 times, oh yeah, and thought, okay, can I figure out what is going on, because it's pretty intense. Um and uh, oh yeah, ralph fiends is in it too, which and I just watched anything with ralph fiends gets me going dude I I was just I think he's excellent.

Speaker 2

I'm doing a late night random amazon prime watch. I started watching this movie with him and gerard Butler Coriolanus and my Shakespeare's not up to snuff, apparently because I didn't know what I was getting into and I what the first what was it?

Speaker 2

called Uh Coriolanus. It's a. It's a book by Shakespeare. I didn't know that. I thought I was watching. I thought I was going to be watching like a modern war movie, but it was. They had really had redone, um, they had they had taken the shakespeare book and then put it to modern times. So it's like modern people.

Speaker 2

I kind of like the romeo and juliet with uh yeah, um leo yeah, like you know, or with, like, leonardo dicaprio, they did like a just a modern version where, like, instead of swords they had guns and everything. But anyways, the first like 20 minutes it was like I was like what the hell is going on and then I finally figured out. Oh, I'm just dumb and didn't realize it. This was actually pretty cool, pretty good movie, nice. But uh, yeah, he was ralph finney's.

Speaker 1

He's like, he's like top-notch kind of like as far as like drama, serious, I've never seen anything with the minute that I thought he half-assed, right phoned in you know what I mean like even stuff that I feel is like could have been like a snoozer for him.

Speaker 2

He always just gives it everything um, he was looking intense in that trailer yeah, I think he's a.

Speaker 1

I think he's going to be part of the. So, from what I understand just watching right, there's no release of like. Here's what's going on. We'll tell you guys. I think it's going to follow two stories. One is a group of troops who are going into the infected zone. I don't know where they're coming from, because 28 weeks later literally ends with us finding out almost all of Europe is fallen. At least. It's pretty bleak at the end, at the end of the movie of 28 weeks later. It literally makes it seem like the whole world's gone, like there is actually no governments anymore anywhere. But this trailer clearly shows SWAT team or tactical team of some kind, right, going in hostage rescue team, basically Right, and they're getting picked off one by one, I think. And then there's also the people who had to live in the corn in the zone.

Speaker 2

Yeah, because there's the haves and the haves. There's dudes with like bows and like rags and the other people got all teched out.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and that's Aaron Taylor Johnson, and I think the other ones are going to be the people who have essentially, like, learned somehow to live alongside the infected, and I think they are like cannibals, like they eat people too which is like why we see those like towers of skulls.

Men's Health: The Hemorrhoid Saga

Speaker 1

You know and stuff, yep and I think ralph fiends is gonna be like this cannibalistic tribe leader who like and I think what they'll probably do here's here's why I think it'll be scary they literally like use the infected as like hunting dogs. Oh yeah, deliver them to their next, you know, meal um, and so I'll be. I'm pretty excited to see, uh, but also like just the way they incorporated that track with the beats and like scene to scene. I'm just like, oh, hey, yeah, I'm stoked. This looks, it is, it is part of a series, but it also looks very original to me and I like the like the scary movies.

Speaker 2

I like the ones at least look like they have a halfway decent storyline. You know it's like it's like it could be good, could be good yeah, um, all right, cool, uh.

Speaker 1

Oh, you know what else? I did see a movie recently called companion. I'm just tossing this out there. Anyone who wants to see like a pretty good movie that's like 90 minutes or whatever, with, uh, like a good date night movie. Companion was great. It was a little violent for people who were like sensitive to violence and stuff, but there's you know it really telegraphs so you can definitely close your eyes and look away. Um, but it was uh, it was just really good. It was a very classic uh kind of uh everything's not what it looks like on the surface love story, and I would say, if you don't know anything about it, don't watch anything. Don't watch a trailer. It's too late.

Speaker 2

I think you already spoiled it for yourself I think I agree, don't go look and just go watch it, yeah because it was well, it was great.

Speaker 1

I took, I took billy jean it and she didn't see a trailer or anything and she had no idea and the reveal in the movie was pretty big for her. She was like whoa, what, what? It's one of those movies where the trailer definitely spoils too much. But just watch it. It's streaming now. It's for free streaming on stuff and we paid matinee prices for it and it was entertaining enough that I would have paid full price to go see it. I think we went for Valentine's Day, but anyways, all that said, well, I don't really have anything else to say. Other, we're beating around the bush here.

Speaker 2

We've really been building up to it you told us, you you let it speaking of the big reveal. You, you, you told us a little bit about it last week, a couple weeks ago maybe.

Speaker 1

I think it was last week I think I I alluded to it during the uh med kit review process yeah, yeah, we talked about it there, but now we have sounds like we have updates yeah, dude, I uh, I guess we should just talk about men's health for a moment.

Speaker 2

Right, let's just be a little men's health segment.

Speaker 1

Yeah, a little bit of men's health moment here. Um, I, I, I went and I made a doctor's appointment, right Just for like a checkup. Well, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, right, Because I mean, here's the bottom line, Ken you know family Bottom.

Speaker 1

Our listeners out there that are family, have been listening for a while. Right, you guys know that I've been joking around about a hemorrhoid for a while. Right, you guys know that I've been joking around about a hemorrhoid, joking about how my hemorrhoids are causing me, uh, not pain isn't the right word, but just a nuisance. And uh, I I don't know, it's my first time dealing with him like a hemorrhoid right and like a hemorrhoid.

Speaker 1

That's not just like a little bump like a, you know like a hemorrhoid. That's not just like a whittle bump like a, you know like a hemorrhoid. That's like okay, I gotta, I gotta figure out how to build my life around this thing.

Speaker 1

And so you look up stuff and everyone like there's a different suggestion on everything what to do and who to make an appointment with and I went on to my insurance's website and, you know, trying to figure out like, okay, what kind of doctor do I need to find a network to deal with this? I could have find nothing. I was like, hey, you know what, who will know A doctor? Yeah, like, I'll go to a doctor for just like a general checkup. The doctor can just, you know, I'll unfortunately reveal to the doc, you know I'm going to have to go in and be like they're like all right, you're here for a standard physical, yearly physical, and I'll be like, no, not really. I just didn't know where else to go.

Speaker 2

I need you to give me a referral to get my hemorrhoid looked at right Whoa God, don't look these up unless you're ready for it.

Speaker 1

Well, okay, because I'm just saying also because If you, look them up, you're going to see the worst kind of about them, right like, dude, my hemorrhoid, my hemorrhoids, a nice little hemorrhoid, okay, it's a nice little gentle hemorrhoid. I want you to, pat, do me a favor. Oh, I guess, do me a favor. Yeah, turn your hand towards you. Uh-huh, and look at your thumb. Uh-huh, and just look at your thumb, so you can't see any nail you're just seeing that top joint.

Speaker 1

Now just imagine that attached to the rim of your anus. Yeah, it's not purple, it's not, yeah, throbbing, it's not bleeding, it's not rashy, it's just like a big ass, like like a thumb, a butt thumb, big old lump that looks like a thumb. That's exactly like dude when I look at it in the mirror. And for people wondering how you do this, I'll tell you. You, uh, you get a mirror like a small handheld mirror. Oh yeah, you set it down on the shower floor or the tub floor and then you squat over it and look down between your legs, lifting up your junk, and that squat really spreads your cheeks.

Speaker 2

So that way, you can get a good view of what's going on down there, because, hey, sometimes you gotta do an inspection, sometimes you gotta know what's going on men's health, you gotta do an inspection.

Speaker 1

You are your first line of defense against, you know, any kind of like testicular or rectal cancer, right? Uh, you gotta do checkups. But anyways, that's what it is, guys. I don't want anyone here thinking I got like anal fissures or something like that, right, like that's certainly not what this is, uh, but it is a thumb. It is a thumb coming out of my ass, oh my god, okay and like everyone's like, yada, yada, you're exaggerating for comedy, all right.

Speaker 1

So this brings me to the doctor. So I got I got a doctor's appointment with uh, with the uh, not a pa.

Speaker 1

Well, maybe no, I think he was a PA it was a he specifically was like I want to find a male doctor that I can go to, an older male doctor who can like, who's probably had his own hemorrhoids, you know what I mean, who can like. Kind of walk me through this. But I made an appointment and then, sure enough, I get a call from the doctor's office and they're like we have an earlier opening if you'd like with like doctor, female name here.

Speaker 1

And I'm just like nah, I'd really like a male doctor, honestly, you know. And they're like oh, okay, well, how about this? This one, this is a, this is our you know PA, and he can do the physical and the general checkup and all that. And I was like yeah, right, that's fine.

Speaker 1

Whatever. So I get in there and you got to fill out the like information, right, when you're a new patient, you're filling out all the documentation and all that and I can never remember anything, right, like there's that thing that comes up where it's like what kind of conditions do you have? And I'm like, well, I am, I am legally blind without my glasses, uh, but like I don't know if, like they needed, I don't think they care about that, right. And then they ask, like you know, do you have? It's always awkward when they're like what's your family history on your father's side? And I just gotta be like yeah and uh, yeah, anyways, anyways.

Speaker 1

But, um, I'm filling all that out and then, of course, uh, you go into the back with, like the nurse who walks you back there. She's like so what do you want? Like, what do you want? You're just here for like a physical checkup and all that. Today. I'm like yeah and uh, and they're like anything else that we need to know and like it's one of those things where, like you either tell them or you tell a doctor, but it's going in your medical record for everyone to see. I was like all right, just get like, don't have any ego about it. It's a chill funny thing, it's okay. It's okay to laugh about it.

Speaker 1

In fact, I'm going to make it my goal to make everyone I interact with here at this office laugh about it, because then it makes me feel less clinical and less awkward. And so I was like, honestly, I don't think I need a physical, I just need him to take a look at my hemorrhoid and give me a referral yeah she was an older nurse and I could see she likes was a little caught off guard.

Speaker 1

There was like an emotional twitch there, yeah, but like she steeled it away, I'm like and like honestly, I just don't know what to do, because and I looked her in the eyes I'm like it's, it's a thump Coming out of my ass and like I just swear at everything Because I'm like if I break them I'll feel a lot Better.

Speaker 1

And she Just immediately started chuckling and laughing and like, just like you know, she did the classic, like you know, older woman, not Old, but like older woman, like squint eyes and like try to fight it and it feels like the like loud cackle laugh, you know yeah and then she's like okay, all right, she's like you know you can make an appointment with like a gastrointestinal, like doctor or something like I don't know. Yeah, no, I don't know that, like when I looked up like hemorrhoid doctor, there wasn't one on my insurance portal.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

And so she's like, okay, all right, well, he'll take a look at it and it's probably not as big as it is. Like there's a lot of things outside of surgery that you can do, and I was like I kind of been already doing stuff.

Speaker 1

I already had like a Teladoc appointment, you know, and for everyone wondering no and for everyone wondering no, I didn't put my phone down and just spread my cheeks over the phone camera and be like what do you think, doc? What do you think? Is this a good view? Can you turn the flashlight?

Speaker 2

on Open up the console, just with that, yeah.

Speaker 1

No, dude, it was so funny. I specifically was like I'm not making this doc get on a camera, I'm just going to request only a phone call because I don't want them to be like on camera, afraid I'm just gonna be like all right, well, here it is, doc. What's your thoughts? Um, but anyways, uh. So I told her I was like yeah, I already had a teledoc appointment. They gave me some like hydrocortisone, uh like more intense hydrocortisone than you can just get uh over the counter you have to have a prescription.

Speaker 1

Like've been using that and it's not been improving and I've been like taking some like supplements that are supposed to like open up and then increase the dilation of your veins in your legs. So that way it's a lot easier, because hemorrhoids essentially what people don't if people don't know what a hemorrhoid, is lot easier because hemorrhoids essentially what people don't.

Speaker 1

If people don't know what a hemorrhoid is, um, it's pretty much like a kink in the, the vascular swollen network yeah, around your anus, which is the same thing that happens if you get punched in the lip in your face, because your lips a lot of people don't know your lips are the same tissue like you're, you're, I don't know, that's the reason your anus looks like your lips, anyways, but it's the same tissue, so like if you get punched in the lip and your lip swells up and gets purple. That's the same thing that's happening with you know, a hemorrhoid.

Speaker 2

Now.

Speaker 1

I wasn't punched in the ass.

Speaker 2

Yeah, because there's one cause, there's a specific activity that causes this.

Speaker 1

What is this? You want to make this joke? It's the gay sex? Yeah, I'm not having any of that, but I'll get to that. I'll get to the cause. I'll get to the cause. It's honestly probably likely going to be a lot more of our listeners than most of them think, um, but anyways.

Speaker 1

So she's like all right, well, you know, the doc will be in a minute, so he comes in. He clearly didn't get the memo. He comes in and he's like so just here for a general checkup. We're like, ah, no, doc, uh, uh, yes, um, I just turned, you know 30 and all that. So, please, you know, let's, let's do our the general physical checkup, whatever I gotta do, whatever labs. But I'm primarily here because I have a giant hemorrhoid. I don't know what to do with it and I need, I need a referral. And again, I could tell he was trying to be chill about it and he was only maybe a year or two older than me. He's pretty young too, so he's probably never had a hemorrhoid. Um, but I saw that he was only maybe a year or two older than me. He's pretty young too, so he's probably never had a hemorrhoid, but I saw that he was married.

Speaker 1

He got a wedding ring on and he seemed like pretty I would say like a classic colorado front range guy. You know like he looked like he rock climbed. You know what I mean? He looked like he actually just got done rock climbing and put on the quarter zip to come to be a doctor this is dr j. Yeah, exactly, um, and so is it dr j.

Speaker 2

I don't know who that is. That's the last name of the guy I see I.

Speaker 1

I don't think this guy all right. I don't think this guy's technically a doctor he's a pa okay um, but uh, he was like all right. Um, well, okay, we can, we can probably take a. You know, uh, go over some stuff with that today and I'll tell you some like ways you could treat it and stuff. He's like you give some preparation, age and stuff. I'm like doc, doc, you're not listening, yeah, you're not hearing me out here. I'm already doing over the like three times application a day of this hydrocortisone.

Speaker 1

The size is not changing and I like looked him in the eyes. I was like it's the size of my thumb. It is my thumb coming out of my ass, like I kid you not, like I kid you not. And he at that point he laughed. I was like Doc, can you even know Like it's okay to laugh? And I'd actually feel more comfortable the more you laugh. Like if you're too clinical, I'm going to feel weird about this.

Speaker 1

And he added some really pretty good chuckles and stuff and he was like well, you know, man, like these things they really don't need surgery that much. You kind of want to avoid it because the surgery hurts. And like you got to go to sleep and it's you're almost never going to be in an er right or urgent care. You're going to go into like a doctor's clinic office. They're going to give you a shot and they're going to prop you up in a table and like he's like, he's like pulled his knees up, but he's like you're going to be in this chair like this, knees lifted up, spread wide and the ultimate brazilian, yeah, and he's like. He's like you're gonna be like, essentially, if you're giving birth, this is giving birth post. Yeah, and I was like I get it, doc, I do, but I think that's the only way, I think that's the only solution.

Speaker 1

And he was like all right, okay, like let's take a look here. I was like is there is, if there's an, if there's a pill, if there's anything like orally I could take that will like help with this, I'm fine, anti-inflammatory, whatever. And he's like you're really doing this hydrocortisone prescription. I'm like, yeah. And he's like, okay, this is pretty high percentage. This is a lot per day. All right, he's like well, you know, I could take a look at it. I was like, if you want to, yeah, and he was like, well, I don't really want it. I was like, well, I'm telling you what it is, man, like I'm not exaggerating here. I I feel it every day when I have to put the cream on your little buddy, yeah, it literally is too.

Speaker 1

Uh, like, it's like just hanging out there right um, and so I stand up, I tell him I'm like hey, doctor, so you know too, like I do have my holster on stuff still, but like I left my gun and mags out in the car because I knew I was probably gonna have to strip at some point or take shirts off, right, yeah, and he I could see there was a pause on his face when he was like processing like holster and stuff.

Speaker 1

Uh-huh, I was like all right, we're about to find out if he's a freaking dork or not. Um, and uh, he was like, okay, yeah, no, cool, no worries. Um, and uh, I take my holster off the self-drop trowel and, bro, I turn around and kind of just like lean over the the the bed, right, uh, just enough. And like he doesn't even have to like spread my cheeks, he's just like, oh my god, that's like. He's like it's the size of a grape. I'm like, dude, I look like, turned over my shoulder. I look at him like I told you like I wasn't lying. He's like it's the size of a grape. And I'm like dude, I look like, turned over my shoulder, and I look at him like I told you like I wasn't lying. He's like. He's like, yeah, I'm just gonna give you the referral, like I'm just gonna refer you to the surgeon now, because he was trying to like avoid doing that. Yeah, and I was like, thank you like. He's like, yeah, there's, you can't do anything about that.

Speaker 1

Uh, let's continue to take care of it and take, like you know, your anti-inflammatories, but like you know that that is like the big concern of that is like, if the essentially you get a blood clot in it, right, if it's around for too long, it's just too much effort for the blood and like plaque or whatever builds up, you get a blood clot, which then is when it gets all purple and not good, and then you risk it like rupturing and people bleed out to death from hemorrhoids. Really, yeah, no, it's actually common. Look at, look up how many let's see how many people die from hemorrhoids a year in the US, oh my God, because they'll be taking a, they'll be taking a dookie, right, and they wipe too hard or they strain too hard and it bursts and because, like, it doesn't hurt when it bursts, it just they just bleed out to death on the toilet.

Speaker 2

the uh oh deaths wise um looks like there's not a ton of people dying, but you do people like there's not. There's not a ton of people dying, but you do people like like there's not there's not enough people, that they have a number, but, but people do die from it, which you would not expect. Yeah, like to be like I had this thing and then I died, right.

Speaker 1

Yeah, um. So anyways, I got the referral but the, uh, the, the, they, they haven't called me yet to schedule an appointment, so I think I'm just going to call that office. He printed it out for me and gave it to me. He's like, hey, man, get it treated. But he asked about the podcast. Oh, really. And I told him I was like, yeah, I'm really comfortable about talking about this with you because, like one is like you know, patient, doctor confidentiality, but also, you know, I, I talk, I've talked about it jokingly, so like, uh, I'm not, you know, actually concerned here. And he was like, yeah, no, cool, what's the podcast? And refer him to. And he's like I'll check it out.

Speaker 1

So hopefully doc's listening to this and enjoying it um, but he also like it was funny because when he was doing like the assessment on me to just see if I'm in good physical health before I dropped trial, he was asking me questions about gun questions and he's got guns and his parents actually own a gun shop in California. Oh wow, and they're actually trying to sell it because of how hard the gun laws are out there and trying to close them down.

Speaker 1

And so he was actually super pro-gun and very chill and comfortable and asked me what I usually carry and stuff and all that. So yeah, he was a great doctor. I'm excited to go see him.

Speaker 1

He's now my general practitioner, but it was pretty funny a doctor like lose their, you lose their demeanor when they see like my actual ailment and they hear and be like, oh my god, like you know, just like immediately flabbergasted. That was awesome, dude. It was funny too because like the rest of the day I was just laughing about it and my, my wife, billy gene, would be like what are you smiling about? What are you laughing about? I'm like I'm still just laughing about that doctor's appointment. It was so funny.

Speaker 2

It's like a thumb thumb from Spy Kids.

Speaker 1

It actually is yeah.

Speaker 2

Floops Fuglies.

Speaker 1

Yeah, it's crazy. I'm going to take a picture of it.

Speaker 1

When they do the surgery. I'm going to be like, hey, I'll be asleep. Can someone take a picture of of it, so that way I could see what it's like in all of its glory? Put a dime next to it, or something, so that way people have a sense of scale. I'm going to make you look at it. I'm going to make you look at it for sure, oh man, anyways, alright, funny jokes, I get it. If this was too graphic for you, you know, if you watched the trailer for 28 years later and you were like, oh, that looks good, and then we went into this story and it's too graphic for you. You know, sorry, apologies, I guess. Yeah, but what about you? You had a checkup, some men's health checkup stuff.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it was pretty basic. You know, we go in there. Similarly, I wanted a dude, but then they were like all right, right, you can come see dr jenny. I'm like dang, if I get in there, dr jenny's a dude. Hey, last name, there you go. So anyways, yeah, it's like, but the um, nice, uh, so uh, it is funny. They're asking you like, so like, have you had, you know, do you have you had a like primary care doctor? And I'm like not, since I was a kid, you know, like really, and I'm like, yeah, what do you mean?

Speaker 2

like you know, that's what I told my doctor too.

Speaker 1

He's like when was your last time you had, like your like just standard checkup primary care physician? I was like, uh, when the sheriff department made me yeah, no for sure, because it never going in there.

Speaker 2

and then you know the it's always the funny thing about the doctor stuff is I don't want to have something wrong with me, I just want them to like maybe do more to find something. It's like all right, like check your heartbeat, check your pulse, you know, ask you the questions and then ask you. You know's always like you know about your tobacco, alcohol, diet, family history did you notice?

Speaker 1

they changed the alcohol question. So the last time I did it it was like how many drinks a week do you have? Oh yeah, and it said, based on how many drinks a week you have, is it whether or not you're an alcoholic. And uh, so I was like okay, and that mine was like you're an alcoholic. It was like if you're having seven drinks or more a week, you're an alcoholic. I was like that's crazy, because I, you know, I most of the time I don't even have one a day, I just have like maybe four on friday right and uh.

Speaker 1

Now the question is how many days in the last year did you have four or more drinks? I was like, okay, it's like 52 Fridays in a year. Divide that by two, so 26. Right, you know what I mean? Right, and that's my best, like guesstimate, but that's the new question.

Speaker 2

That's probably a better way to frame it for them.

Speaker 1

I mean, I don't know anyone who doesn't have roughly seven beers a week. I'm legit trying to think through it and I don't really think any of my friends are alcoholics, but most of them unless they're actually sober. Most of them are having seven beers a week because they're having like two or three on friday, saturday and then maybe there's one elsewhere within the week, like one or two during the week, right, yep, yep, I'd agree with that.

Speaker 2

Like the uh, I guess, like you know, the doctors ask you all those questions and then you're like they look in your eyes, look at your nose, look in your ears. You're like like, do you have any concerns for your health? Like you're feeling, like no, I feel good. They're like all right. You're like, well, what about? What else are you gonna do? Like you know, it always feels like there should be. You want me to touch your balls?

Speaker 1

yeah, I know you want me to touch your balls, I'll do it.

Speaker 2

It's not gonna tell me anything, but I'll do it if it makes you feel better for real, but the um, the uh, just like it feels like we should be closer to the point where, you know, like that, that pin from star trek, they just like wanded over you. You know, it's like then I can check what, like it's like find all the stuff or whatever, um, but, and they'll do occasionally, like you know, whatever, order blood labs, things like that. But yeah, I did figure to probably time. I was like you know, go do a yearly checkup, just go in, tell the doctor what's going on, and I guess it's, I guess it's time for that type of thing, you know.

Speaker 1

But what was the bill of health he gave you?

Speaker 2

said I was good to go say you're fine, yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah, so it was uneventful. Funny thing too is he was like so when's the last time you had a doctor? I was like well, I feel like I go to a doctor like constantly because I have kids, kids and my wife definitely takes them way more than I do, yeah, but it's like I'm always, it feels like I'm in and out of doctor drops all the time. It's just not for me, you know, whatever. So but the um, because, yeah, little kids gosh, you're always at the doctor feels like, especially, looking back as a kid too, it's like dentist, doctor, just all the time yeah, it's crazy, I don't.

Speaker 1

I don't remember going to the doctors all the time, but it did. It was easily like every year right, if not twice, a year compared like my, my three visits over the last decade. Yeah, you know, I think it's because kids are just like, honestly, when I'm like trying to retrospect, like think about my existence or my like growing up, like I know I wasn't a troublemaker and I wasn't that much of a daredevil.

Speaker 1

I definitely goofed around and got hurt a couple times, but I think kids just like don't have the like life experience, especially when they get into the teenage years to comprehend like uh, the discipline of, like uh, routine self-care and for me, the biggest thing that I kept on going to the doctors in for high school was like just ingrown toenails, because it was like I never like. When you're a kid, you're like your shoes get too small because you're growing so much especially as a dude in high school your feet are growing faster than any other part of your body it feels like something yeah, unfortunately, uh, but um, it's one of those things where, like, you just get your shoes get tight and you're like, oh, whatever, I'll deal, and then you start having pain in your toes.

Speaker 1

And it's one of those things where, like, you just get your shoes get tight and you're like, whatever, I'll deal, and then you start having pain in your toes and it's because your shoes are so tight that you got ingrown toenails and you gotta go and get them like snipped off. Have you ever seen?

Speaker 2

that. Have you ever had them? I've never had to, but I've got buddies have.

Speaker 1

It seems like, like ancient dude japanese torture yeah, honestly, the white hot searing pain of like the nerve squeezing uh-huh on your toenails growing into the skin. It hurt more than my femur breaking, without a doubt.

Speaker 1

Like there was times where I thought about like I was, like if I had a gun I'd kill myself, just because, like the pain is unreal, dude and it's one of those things where, like, as soon as you stub it or stomp on it, there's like a singeing, but you know, it's like traveling up your spine like it's gonna hit your brain at any minute now, and it's like watery eyes. It's like the feeling of like when someone hits you in the nose. You have that watery eyes, knee jerk reaction. But then it's like also like now, imagine there's just like a knife, hot knife, going through your foot. Oh dude, it was unreal and since then I had so many of them that, like I do very regular like take care of your maintenance and care on my nails and feet

Speaker 1

and I always am buying more shoes two, three sizes up if I need, not because I think my feet are going to grow anymore, but because I know, like with socks and wool socks especially, that roominess is a great way to avoid that. And once you get them, once they just kind of happen over and over again. Yeah, so, anyways, sorry that's a side tangent, but that was always what I was in the as a kid, in the doctors for. Oh, yeah, so anyways, sorry that's a side tangent, but yeah, that was always what I was in the as a kid in the doctors for oh, yeah, and kids, yeah, there's like, yeah, there's just kids get colds.

Speaker 2

You're going to check up, so you got your and then just your er visits, you know, for stuff. But the um, yeah, it's probably about time to just even, yeah, just do some routinely go to the doctor, get some blood work done, see where you're at and, you know, make sure what will be interesting, or like, or over the next, like the next 10 years, is where, like, you'll start hearing about, like you know whatever, some friend from high school on facebook like, oh no shit, they've got cancer or like you know, like yeah't, yeah, like that, or like and like or like you know, sort of like wait, we weren't old, oh nope.

Doctor Visits and Getting Older

Speaker 2

All of a sudden, like just like just the uh, it's crazy, those things start kind of popping up in there yeah, like hidden 30 was has been like a real weird thing for me, man oh yeah hidden.

Speaker 1

30 has made me feel like I don't know. I mean, everyone goes through it right, like well, everyone who's alive, I guess, but I just do think like it's strange to think that the next decade is 40.

Speaker 2

I don't feel in my 30s at all dude, Because 20 to 30 goes pretty fast.

Speaker 1

So fast and like I don't have any kids yet and I'm not feeling stressed or anything about like, oh, I need to have a kid right now.

Speaker 2

But I am kids yet and I'm not feeling stressed or anything about like, oh, I need to have a kid right now. I am.

Speaker 1

I'm like, oh, wow, I'm gonna be the old dad. Like I'm gonna be the old dad already if you start playing out the math on it. Yeah, um, but who knows modern medicine, maybe I'll live longer. I'll still be a young dad, I don't. It's just one of those things that I'm just kind of like scratching my head about. I'm like that came so quick, you know, um, but anyways, glad to hear your checkup was good. Oh, yeah, good and fine, you didn't have him check your butt.

Speaker 2

No, not this time.

Speaker 1

Oh the cause, the cause of the cause of the hemorrhoids, yeah, yeah, you gotta educate us so we can avoid he.

Speaker 2

He was asking me.

Speaker 1

He was like well, what's going on Like, do you do a lot of like squatting for your job or anything like that? I'm like no, I sit in a chair at my desk and work on the computer at home.

Speaker 2

And.

Speaker 1

I go on walks, probably, you know, anywhere from one to three times a day, and he's like okay, three times a day, and he's like, okay, um, and I was like. What I did hear, though, is that sitting on the toilet causes this because of the shape of toilet seats, and toilet seats are literally shaped to spread your butt cheeks apart, and the downward gravity force of that hole in the toilet seat literally pulls on your anus while you're pooping and it's supposed to make pooping easier, which for sure it does, um, but that is also like for a long, for a while. That's like the part of you that is like lowest to the ground, and when your blood's like circulating, your butthole just fills up with blood, and it so like prolonged sitting on the toilet is like the number one cause of hemorrhoids now stop scrolling exactly like I told him I was like I think I just sat on the phone.

Speaker 1

You know I'm used to taking like 20 30 minute dunks yeah at night and stuff before bed and he's like oh yeah, that is that will do it.

Speaker 1

If you do that every day for a year you're gonna have hemorrhoids, it doesn't matter your age. I was like, no way he's like. Oh yeah, he's like, and that's the number one cause we see now he's like. It used to be. The number one cause used to be, you know, five, ten years ago was bodybuilding like the bodybuilding exercises could would strain is clotting so much that dudes were like getting hemorrhoids, uh-huh, because the blood just couldn't get out before the the like those muscles would pinch the vein off.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, right, and he's like now. It's not even remotely close. It's mostly just dudes sitting on the toilet surfing their phone and he's like and girls because girls just sit on the toilet surfing their phone too I was like, wow, that's crazy, that's it.

Speaker 2

I don't know if. Did your grandma ever have the cushy toilet seat?

Speaker 1

no, she didn't, but I know, like you ever said, the cushy leather toilet seat, the cushy toilet seat yeah, that's for hemorrhoids no that's a part of it, really.

Speaker 2

Yeah, just like about less, like whether it works or not, sure, I don't know, but like cause. Also, as you get older, your muscles aren't as strong, you know all this stuff, so you're more likely To get them. So that toilet seat, so you have to get the grandma toilet seat To relax on, but or the squatty potty and then get it done, you know.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I also think I've seen that there's actual true scientific articles about bidets, so I think I'm going to get a bidet.

Speaker 2

Well, what's that? Does that just make you? What's the how's that fixed it? The cool, cold water.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, uh, used to clean your anus means that you have way less friction from like wiping, and so it just like you just don't have to wipe. No, yeah and so or wipe as much, and that just essentially a lot, of a lot of it too is like the wiping with toilet paper is actually super strenuous on that tissue. Like imagine how your lips feel if you just wiped and the only thing you wiped your mouth with was like paper towels all day, every day.

Speaker 2

Are you getting the cheap stuff or are you getting the Charmin Ultra Strong? You need the soft stuff.

Speaker 1

And the thing is, you can lick your lips. Before you wipe your mouth, get them wet.

Speaker 2

You can't lick your ass before you wipe it right, there is a method called the Louisiana wet wipe. Yeah, it's where you blow your nose, then you wipe with it. I bet those guys have less hemorrhoids.

Speaker 1

I do the turn one into two with the dude wipes, because dude wipes on the package says only one wipe per flush. It says don't use more than one wipe because you could clog your toilet. So I take a dude wipe and I layer toilet paper on both sides of it, just give it a nice little press, and then I pull the toilet paper off and fold them into their own wipes and then I have three kind of moistened wipes.

Speaker 1

And it definitely makes it a better experience. That's hilarious. What's the AI generated artwork thumbnail of this episode?

Speaker 2

Definitely makes it a better experience. That's hilarious, yeah, anyways.

Speaker 1

What's the AI-generated artwork thumbnail of this episode going to?

Speaker 2

be. Oh, it's going to be Just like a thumb. It's coming off my butt cheek Just a thumb.

Speaker 1

We can't do that to the people.

Speaker 2

No, no, we'll see what it comes up with for us.

Speaker 1

Anyways, it's so funny. Well, you know what, Pat? I don't have much else. We covered kind of our good old soapbox rants and we also got into some comedic healthcare stuff. But you got anything else?

Speaker 2

Sounds like I gotta change my ways. Gotta stop taking the phone in the potty with me. I'm stopping doing it, man, I don't want that.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Because yeah.

Speaker 1

Last night was one of the first nights in a long time where I didn't take a nighttime deuce before I went to bed.

Speaker 2

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1

I just was like you know what? I don't feel like I need to go. I'm not going to go sit until I need to go, I'm just gonna go to bed. Huh, well, I guess that's the way it's intended. Go when you need to. 30s are a crazy time crazy wake-up call, for sure?

Speaker 1

um, all right. Well, hey, ken, thanks for listening. Uh, I hope you enjoyed this, hope you got a lot of a lot of good laughs out of it. Hope you felt seen. You know to. To my kid out there, whether you're a man or a woman with hemorrhoids, I just want you to know I get the battle you're going through. I'm with you in the trenches and I get it. No one understands, because you tell someone you got a hemorrhoid and immediately they see what Pat saw on the computer and you're like you gotta explain. No, it's not that bad. Anyways, we're in it together and, pat, you got anything.

Speaker 2

Until next time, folks.

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Mick

Co-host
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Pat

Co-host