Welcome to the Stay or Go podcast, where we're changing the dialogue around divorce so that no woman ever stays in her marriage out of fear. Get ready to dispel myths, learn life-changing tools, and build a solid foundation in yourself from which to make your decision. And now your host, me, Britta Joe. Alrighty, y'all. Hello, hello. Welcome back this week. And um to start off, I am just having a lot of champagne bubbles excitement for this episode, y'all. Especially after getting a listener's email this last week where she was like, the anticipation is killing me. You know who you are, AD. Thank you for sending that over. I agree. The anticipation has been killing me as well these last few weeks. Um, when I originally decided to move to Substack, I would have probably just like dropped it all straight up front. But with the help of Chat GPT teaching me how to market better, y'all. Diary of an entrepreneur here, doing this drip, bringing it out bit by bit. Uh yeah, I felt the suspense too, y'all. So just know it has built to this episode and it is finally going to be explained. Your questions, your wondering will be hopefully cleared up in this episode. And on top of that, in this episode, as I was thinking about, um, you know, of course I'm super excited to introduce you guys to Substack to talk about what's going to be happening there, all the exciting pieces that I've built out. It truly is an incredible gift to have another platform to kind of bring into my world. I watched this last year, how opening myself to building out the community on I have that built on a Mighty Networks platform, how much that has allowed me and the women in that community to connect on a much more deep, much more just really personal level. And I have felt that this year, y'all. 2025 is the year of me going, okay, community, community, community. I want my women connected. I want to be connected to them. I don't want this to just be a place where you come and you listen and then you leave. I want to get to know you too. And what a gift that I did find a platform that I feel fits my values, fits the vibe that I want. That's always very important for me. When you are moving something as big as your life work, which I too consider my podcast to be a huge piece of that, it's really important to find it a home that you love. So I am gonna talk about that later on in the episode. But I also wanted this episode to also be like super juicy for everybody listening as well. Um, I didn't want it to just be about the Substack. So actually, probably the big like three-fourths of the episode is going to be more centered around in the beginning, talking about receiving. Because as y'all know, this year, and really I would say probably since I started dating Joe, probably even longer than that, but it's really ramped up since I started dating Joe. Once I started the podcast, starting the community. The biggest lesson I have been learning over this past year is receiving and how absolutely life-changing that is. And not only life-changing, y'all, but like crucial. Up until this last year, and really partnering with Joe and realizing, like, oh wow, I can do so much more when I receive. You know, I have always been able to output a ton of material and creation just on not entirely on my own, right? Because I've always had Quinn and like a close friend or a coach supporting me. But wow, have I learned like you can do so much more when you have support and you are actually receiving from that support. So in alignment with this move to Substack has been a huge part of me going, I want to open up more ways to receive. And I want to dive even deeper into my relationship with receiving. And so I felt like that would be a beautiful part to be able to talk about because I don't feel like I've really discussed receiving in this specific way on the podcast. I'm going to talk about why receiving can be so uncomfortable for most of us, how it can be a total game changer for you when you start bringing it in, especially for those of you in this deep process of considering divorce that are often caretaking everybody else and not yourselves. And then, and this came through while I was creating up this podcast episode, I was like, oh my God, this just feels really special, especially leading into this big move to the Substack platform. I am going to kind of get to set the scene for this big podcast shift that's coming by really giving you guys and me an opportunity to be in this process of receiving together. Like you guys, I'm going to receive with you guys these listener emails that I've received over the last year. And that feels just like really exciting and fun for me to get to share personal emails that I have received thanking me for the podcast on this episode. Even as I'm saying this, y'all, my body's like blah. Because this is the other thing I'm going to talk about a little later. It's vulnerable. It is receiving is vulnerable. Receiving gratitude, receiving praise, receiving love from others is way more vulnerable than we admit or acknowledge. And it's honestly a place that most of us as women prefer to not be in. So if I'm gonna, you know, talk the talk, I'm gonna walk the walk. So that is gonna be like the middle section of the episode will be when I get to share those emails with y'all. And then, as promised at the beginning of the episode, I am going to share all the beautiful, nitty-gritty, and exciting details around the Substack move for the podcast. And um, you'll definitely want to listen through all the way to the end because I'm also going to be able to share. This was an exciting thing that I came up with this morning, how you can be entered into a drawing. So, with the launch of the podcast, I'm going to do a drawing for someone to be able to win a free 90-minute get unstuck and empowered session with yours truly. Me. That was something I thought of this morning while I was eating breakfast. And I was like, fuck yeah, that would be so fun. And I would love to give that to one of the subscribers moving forward with the Substack. So with that roadmap set, let's dive in. And I want to start all of this off with a powerful truth that has really come online for me this year, which is that receiving is not just a nice practice, it is an absolute necessity for you to become all you are meant to be in this lifetime. Okay. It is not just like, oh, wouldn't that be nice? I have seen over the last year and a half how the more I receive, the bigger I am able to fulfill my soul work in the world, my soul purpose. And I have had to start reckoning with like, oh, I can't really do this all on my own. I think you guys may have probably noticed that, like listening to the beginning of the podcast. I know as I think back on my journey coming out of my divorce, I was very individualistic, y'all. I was super like, if it's, you know, if it's if it's gonna be, it's up to me. And it will be because I'm gonna make it happen. I was very like, I don't need anybody else. I've got me. And I understand now that was an important step in my journey, especially with the amount of trauma I had been through. I really needed to form a lot of belief in myself that I could do things without anybody's help. I mean, y'all, coming from a Mormon background, coming from being a stay-at-home mom, never having a career before, I really had to invest in the idea that I didn't need anybody's help and that I was gonna like make it come hell or high water with, you know, myself and maybe a therapist and maybe a best friend. But like, even if those weren't there, I was gonna be able to do it. And thankfully, as I have moved through my journey, I'm now at a part in my process. I'm, you know, five, almost six years out from my divorce, where I'm getting to let those old beliefs that fueled me through that period of my life die because they are not the beliefs that are going to take me into the next version of my life, the next expansion. Those are actually the beliefs that are holding me back now. The belief that I have to be able to do it all by myself is actually really painful. Because, as you all know, from accepting more fully this last year that I have CPTSD and seeing how neurodivergent I am in a lot of ways, especially in the way I work and in the way I process emotion and just what a like deeply feeling human I am. It is becoming so apparent to me that if I want to really have the impact I want to have on the world, it is not going to be a solo experience. It is going to be through opening to receiving support from those around me that love me. And I want to be clear straight out the gate here, y'all, that what is so toxic about patriarchy, about the world we have been raised in, about the culture we are in, is that receiving, I believe, is what has been stolen from women. And let me take you into what I mean by that. For centuries, I mean thousands of years, women have been seen and honored only as caretakers and nurturers. And that ideology, that framework, that viewing of women, by the way, is definitely having a big resurgence lately. I seriously watched, I think his name is Charlie Kirk. Is that his name? I can't even believe I'm saying his name on this podcast because he just makes my skin crawl. Every time I see him, oh my God. I saw a reel though, it was something split with another woman who was like calling out what he was saying, where he literally is like, women need to get back in the home and they need to be taking care of their husbands and their children. Like that is their biggest role. That's what they were made for. And I was like, oh, high-pitched screech. Like, are you kidding me? This is, and honestly, this has always been there, y'all. This is the Kool-Aid that's been, you know, we everybody's been drinking it. We just didn't realize it. But it is now coming to the forefront. It is now no longer being like hidden as much as it was. It is upfront, out in the lead, like not afraid to be said. Granted, for those of us in fundamentalist religions, it was never hidden. It was always at the very forefront, but I do feel like it's taking more of a national stage now. So, in this framework, women are seen as valuable only based on how much we can give, how much we serve, and how much we sacrifice. And this is really calling to mind, you know, sitting in Mormon Mother's Day meetings, where like I would want to, especially towards the end when I was leaving and starting to really see through the matrix, where I just wanted to gag listening to all of these men praising and talking about their wives and their mothers through the lens of how much those women sacrificed for everybody else. And why that is so toxic is because when you are only honored for what you give, it strips away your humanity and the reality that all humans have needs. Let that one sink in. When your sole purpose is to nurture and caretake others, that completely takes away you viewing yourself as a normal, like this is normal for humans to have wants and needs, and needs that they thrive more fully, that they do better on when those needs are met. Like you have needs, and you having needs is not shameful, but it is normal. It is part of being a human. So I want you guys to see, hopefully, through this statement that I made, right? That in being put in the role of a caretaker and a nurturer, that is actually a violation of your human right to have needs and to want those needs to be met. You have emotional needs, you have physical needs, you have mental needs. We all have needs. If anything came through for me this summer with our nonviolent communication summer camp in the community, it was I have needs. It is normal. It is normal for me to have feelings and to have needs. Now, especially for those of you in this process of considering divorce right now, you are probably at a point where you have been carrying the load for so long. A load of managing everyone else's emotions, staying on the track that you're supposed to be on, right? The okay, and then I get married by this age, and then I accomplish this perhaps in my career, or I have this many children. We have a house, and now we have the dog and we have the things. You're on the track that you're supposed to be on. And meanwhile, you are not keeping track of what you are needing in that process and whether the track you're on is actually leading to you having your needs fulfilled. And on top of that, the other like insidious part of the patriarchal programming, so many of us are raised in is that as a woman, not only does having needs feel dangerous, but receiving is framed as being selfish, dangerous, and wrong. Let that like, whoa, babes, we as women are trained from young ages to think that us receiving or our needs being met is actually selfish. Or as so many of you come to me and are like, right, you you think that you getting divorced, that you, if you are in a marriage where your needs are not being at all met, because you know, just the simplicity of maybe your values aren't aligned and you're just not a match anymore. The person you married when you were 19 and thought all that mattered was somebody who was good looking and would make some money, if those aren't being met, now that you're in your mid-30s and you're realizing, oh, I want different things, you actually label yourself as dangerous and wrong for considering making a move to support yourself in getting your own needs met. Now, I'm gonna do an episode on this for sure in the future, because the reality of this whole complex like caretaking and then negating your own needs is that this is not actually true reality for women when men are up there saying like women need to get back in the home and they need to be caretakers and nurturers. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. What they're saying is women need to be codependents. Okay. The heart of so much of this self-negation, of this perfectionism, this taking care of everybody, this constantly trying to earn your worth from others and not taking care of your own self is rooted in the codependency pattern. And I have not had a chance yet to do an episode on codependency. I honestly feel like it's gonna be similar to like my narcissist ones. Those ones took me so long to do because they are so deep. But codependency is the opposite side of the narcissist coin. So if you grew up with narcissistic parents, if you have a narcissistic partner, your side of the street that needs to be cleaned up is codependency. And y'all, welcome to the club. Okay. I literally this morning, here I am, you know, six years divorced. I am not with a narcissistic partner. And yet I found the inner critic in my brain just hammering away at me with all the codependent shame and guilt for not being able to keep everybody happy and, you know, be the full source, end-all be all of my children's lives. Like I think I'll probably be healing from codependency the rest of my life. This is that aspect of the shaming voice, the shooting voice, and the pressure to prove and the perfectionism. And to heal codependency, learning to receive is a huge, huge part of that. But let me be real, it sounds all well and good. That like, oh, you just need to receive. Like, that's gonna be healing for you. If there was anything over the last year and a half of dating Joe that I learned big time, it's that receiving is really fucking vulnerable. Y'all, it is vulnerable to admit that you need and want help. It is vulnerable to not always overperform, to not always be hyperactively functioning and looking ahead and trying to keep everything. It is vulnerable to let go of control, to slow down and stop and say no, and have to let there be this like void of hoping and seeing if others will rise to the occasion of meeting your needs, of communicating, of making requests for your needs to be met, and then seeing if they will meet them. And a huge piece when you're considering divorce of why that is so vulnerable is because for a lot of you, in the past, when you articulated and asked for needs, those needs were not met. Those requests were shut down or neglected or ignored. And even now, in asking again, in making those requests again, it is vulnerable because when you finally admit you have needs and start asking for them to be met, sometimes that's the moment where you realize oh, this person is not interested in my needs, understanding them, or meeting them. And where so many of you get stuck in this process is when we continue to wait and we keep waiting and waiting to finally receive from a partner who often, through their own emotional immaturity, their childhood, their unprocessed childhood trauma has no intention of giving. And often, honestly, they just don't have the capacity to be able to give in those ways. Now, if that is the case for you, right? Here I'm starting this episode off by being like, y'all, you need to be receiving, but I know that when you're considering divorce, often it is not safe, nor is it even like a viable, possible option, often to receive from your partner. So if that is the case, I want to frame out for you that breaking free means being brave enough to do these three things. First, receive from yourself. Babes, this looks like admitting your desires, admitting what you want most, admitting what you need, and going and providing those things for yourself. Second is receiving from those who want to pour into you. I think of this most deeply, like these are our friends, the people that are like our rider dies that see us. I think so much of the series Dying for Sex, which I've talked About it on the podcast before, if you want to see a relationship between two women that like highlights so powerfully someone receiving from another person who's wanting to pour into them, who is making sacrifices to be there for that person because they want to, incredible example from that. I also think, by the way, this is what so many of you that are having affairs are experiencing. When you get to receive from an affair partner who wants to pour into you, who wants to meet your needs, who wants to hear what you want and wants to fulfill those, that is a moment of realizing and being able to receive that. And as I hear from so many of you that have had affairs or are in them, that is the moment that starts to crack you open, that starts to break you free, because your brain, instead of going, it's wrong of me to have needs, and no one will ever meet them, it goes, there is someone out there who not only wants to meet my needs, but actually really finds it attractive and likes me receiving from them. Huge. Third and final one is to stop waiting for those who never will meet your needs. And this is the grief piece, y'all. This is when we finally sit with the reality and the person that may be across us in our marriage, and we grieve, especially if they have chosen, you know, I don't need help, I don't need work, nothing is wrong with me. We grieve the emotional immaturity there, the maybe the lack of capacity. I described it for one of my clients um this week as like, maybe your partner's bowl is smaller than yours. Like his capacity, imagine a bowl that's small enough that the amount that's in it fills it all the way. So he's fine in this marriage. Maybe he's not entirely happy, but it's getting enough for him versus her capacity. Y'all, she's a sea lion. Her bowl is big and deep and vast. And so the amount that fills his bowl entirely does not fill hers. And so even though he's sitting there saying, This is great, why are you wanting to leave? This is fine. She is over there starving. Her bowl is not being filled. That's what I mean by stopping waiting, when you identify that the person across from you is not interested in expanding their capacity to make sure that your bowl is filled as well in the relationship. Now, I want to frame out for you all that when we don't receive, okay, when we stay in this codependent way of living where we are giving, giving, giving, giving, where we are constantly draining our cup for others, where we live our life perpetually out of our bodies, thinking about what's that person thinking about me, what's my child thinking about me, taking responsibility for everybody else's thoughts and feelings. What happens to us internally, y'all? We become isolated and cut off from ourselves. We get very stuck in our life, and we end up living in a perpetual survival mode. Now, contrast this with when we start receiving, even if it's in like any one of those three ways, right? By stopping waiting, like no more waiting for those other people, receiving from someone else who wants to pour into you, or receiving from yourself. What happens when you do any of those three? Babes, you gain clarity. You experience validation. Your inner parts are finally like, oh my God, someone sees us, someone sees that we are human and we have needs, and we need those needs to be fulfilled. And when you do this, when you start receiving, what I see most of all is you start to have courage come through that moves you forward into action. So I want to reframe for you all that receiving is a radical act of self-honoring and self-respecting. I want to reframe that receiving is not weakness. Receiving is how you refill yourself from the absolutely drained and deadened state that many of us high-achieving women find ourselves in when we finally hit that wall of psychological burnout and depression that overgiving and never receiving ultimately takes us. If you are, I feel like I'm in a room with all of you. I'm like, if you know what this feels like, raise your hand. Because that is what it feels like. Drained, deadened, depressed, absolutely just, I have nothing left to give. And yet I'm still showing up each day, putting one foot in front of the other. No, y'all, that is not what it means to be a human. I know this is where I was at. When I was considering divorce, I was deep, deep, deep. I had smashed into that wall. I was living daily in the wreckage of that wall. And, you know, honestly, where I started was receiving from those who want to pour into me. Like that was getting a therapist. That was, you know, and it probably started with receiving from myself by being like, okay, you need a therapist, and then going and getting a therapist who could pour into me. And through that work of getting that need met through her support, I was able to do the third one, which was to stop waiting for my ex-husband at the time who was pouring in a lot of ways, but it was not the ways I needed. That's what I need to drive home for y'all. That even if someone is pouring in a in certain ways, if what you need, though, is different, that that's not gonna work. And looking back, I am so grateful that instead of smalling myself and telling myself, it's just you, you're just too much, if you could just fit better in this box, which I mean, y'all, do we not all see women in our lives doing that? And the effects of that, right? We supplement with all these other things that we hope will fill this need. If I fill it with the perfect house, if I fill it with the perfect face, with the perfect body, with the all the things capitalism has sold us. And yet the need continues to go unfulfilled. Because often for many of us, our needs are much bigger than a new car. And by bigger, I mean they're on like bigger, like existential levels of I want meaning, I want purpose, I want deep soul connection. So I want to drive home with this episode that receiving is a huge opener. That is a piece that it is so radical. It is this radical act of self-respect, of choosing yourself, even when everything in your environment tells you that as a woman, your path is to be self-effacing, to be self-negating, and that through that you will one day receive what you need. No, no, no, no, no. We all know that's not how it works. That's why we end up with, you know, mothers and grandmothers who complain and whine about how much nobody appreciates them and play the martyr. Mm-mm. I don't want that for any of you. Okay, so I think we did a beautiful job at the beginning of this episode diving into receiving. I am excited to continue expanding on this because, as you guys know, this next step in my business is a huge piece of me opening to more of this receiving, of stepping into the uncomfortable shifts and going, yeah, because I've learned that as I receive, as I open to receiving, the more I receive, the more I can give too. That's like the beautiful thing. Now, I don't, I want to caveat that, right? I'm not just receiving so I can give, but that goes back to one of like the very first images I've ever used in my coaching, which is this idea of we don't give from empty cups. We give from the overflow. I want my life and what I give to be given freely, not out of my cup, but from what is overflowing the edges. So, in the spirit of receiving, I am excited to, in the heart of this episode, to tie in this section here where I'm gonna share some emails with you that I've received over the last year and really get to model for you all by practicing receiving in real time. It's kind of a little bit of an experiment with y'all and with me of getting to share these emails. And I really, I think too, you know, as I'm making this shift, taking the podcast onto Substack, it's been so important for me to pause and to look back over these emails. I actually like, you know, went back through my emails. I typically tag emails that come through that are just really supportive, as like podcast love or listen to these when you need a boost in my email inbox. But I needed to go back and read these to be reminded of why my work matters. Because y'all, there are definitely times where I'm tired, I'm worn out. Um, and I see so much how those moments when I'm like, is this really working? They don't necessarily come from my connection with you all as much as they come from my own, you know, insecurities and my own feelings of unworthiness. So this is a moment for me to get to share these beautiful emails. I also, in reading them, thought I think they will probably resonate for a lot of you and also give you guys a taste of what it feels like to hear other women's words about the podcast and the impact that those words have had on them. And I also feel like, you know, honestly, for those of you, I'm gonna be sharing four emails. So for the women that wrote these emails, I just want you guys to know that your words have not been just encouragement for me, but truly have been proof that I could come back to, like I mentioned earlier, around why this podcast matters and why I want to keep building and even growing this space where these kinds of conversations, comments, connections can continue and ultimately expand. And as a little heads up before we dive into the emails, I want to mention that I have edited these emails to remove any overly identifying information or personal details from the senders to protect their anonymity. So for those of you that have written me emails and were like, holy shit, oh my God. No, don't worry. I went through, I pulled everything that could possibly really identify or tie you back. I know that's super important for the women in my community. So to the four women whose emails I'm going to be reading, just once again, I want to send you each individually so much love and gratitude. And also to any of the rest of you that have emailed. Of course, I couldn't include every single email I've received, or for those of you that have even shared your reviews through the podcast on Apple, through their little review section, like thank you. I've read every single one of those, and they do help me persevere through the tough times when I am going through my ebbs and flows. So, with all that said, let's dive in together to these beautiful emails. I'm really excited to share them with you all. So the first email I have comes from a woman at the very beginning of her divorce process with a covert narcissistic husband. And she sent me this email soon after my episodes dropped around covert narcissism. So this is what she says. She says, Hi, I am a loyal all caps listener of your podcast. And today's episode hit me in the face. I'm in the starting of the divorce process, spent a lot of time in the stay-or-go space. Long story short, here I am. I've known my husband is a covert narcissist for a while throughout this journey, but today's episode still hit me hard and good. All caps. It was so deeply reassuring that I'm not just making it all up. I could literally go on for days with how much I appreciate your work. I feel like you're my best friend, even though I've never met you, because you just seem to quote, get me all the time, all the things. But in honor of keeping it short and sweet, I just wanted to share a couple of things from today's episode. First, lacking true empathy. One way I've found that my husband does this is that he is constantly telling me that he has it, that he has empathy. If you have to try to convince someone that you get it and you empathize with them, you're trying to convince yourself, buddy. If you have to say repeatedly, I am not a bad person, hmm. So frustrating. I hear you on this one. Two, weaponizing your struggles. He said to me during a very emotionally difficult conversation that was had on his terms, I might add, something about how I was maybe taking my childhood trauma out on our marriage. I almost threw up hearing that. Y'all, I cannot go into this right now, but this is the pathologizing, right? Like so much of deflecting their own responsibility by talking about your childhood trauma. Okay, back to the email. I'm trying so hard not to vibe out with her. When I read these emails, I totally vibe. Third, this isn't about this week's episode, but I still wanted to share. I love this one, y'all. I'm so excited I'm sharing this part with you guys. One eye-opening, awakening part of my journey was that after I first told him I wanted to separate several months ago, he started his own dive into self-help. Classic trait, yes, I know. And really had me convinced he was doing hard work. So I shared some of the things I had found helpful. One of them was an episode of your podcast from early on that had some really good material for him. And now I'm only sharing this because I know you're strong as fuck and can handle hearing it. And it probably actually fuels you as it did me. In a long, emotional, drawn-out conversation shortly after I shared it with him, he accused me of being brainwashed by that podcast. Because, heaven forbid, he tries to see things from my perspective and use it to grow and change the ways he should have done without my prompting to begin with. But that's a whole other issue. But him saying that with anger behind it was just another eye-opening experience for me as to what I was dealing with. I can't thank you enough. I excitedly look forward to hearing your episodes, and I truly, truly hope one day to meet you and connect in person because even just listening, I feel a connection. Thank you for doing this work. So I'm just gonna take a second, after reading that with all of y'all, to pause and receive. Just verbally cueing myself.
SPEAKER_00It's safe to receive B. It's safe to receive.
SPEAKER_01Okay, couple of things. I just have to fire back on this email, y'all. Dude, can we all just vibe about how narcissists always think someone else is controlling you when you make a decision? I don't know if I included that in that list, y'all, but you're getting the freebie, if not textbook, when they say who's brainwashing you, who's telling you to leave this marriage. It can never just be that you've made this decision yourself. And it is such an like peek behind the curtain that they are controlling you because they believe if you're leaving, it's because someone else is controlling you. Nope, not someone else controlling you, literally making your own choice. Both my ex-husband and my mother did this when I got divorced. It was both of them thinking somebody else, a friend, somebody else was controlling me at different aspects of my process. In each, you know, with my mom, it was her thinking like, oh, maybe my husband was the one controlling our relationship changing. Nope. It was just because I didn't want to be close with her. My ex-husband thinking it was my best friend or my therapist, or or this is when your spouse says, Are you having an affair? Right. It can't just be. I just actually don't want to be married to you. So thank you so much, my beautiful listener that sent this email. Um, thank you for sending all of this beautiful love. I receive it with so much gratitude, as you know from the email I sent back, but such a beautiful opportunity for you to get to hear me read it through in real time. Now, let's go to the second email that I've got. Okay. This one comes from a listener that is really in this email, kind of thick in the agony of what I do know some of you are feeling. I'll address this a little bit after the email about this conflict when, you know, how am I supposed to be happy about this if it's going to mean that I'm leaving my kid or kids half the time with a person that I don't even want to live with? Like, how do I survive that grief? How do I make peace with that? So she says, Hi, Brita. I keep talking myself out of bothering you over email, but here I finally go. Thank you, all caps. Can I just say y'all, I love all caps? Thank you for your podcast. It's such a gift. I love the long, in-depth episodes. I don't know what that person was saying that you don't get to the point fast enough. Thank you. Your stories, tidbits, experiences, all of it is so valuable. To cut to bullet points would be a complete disservice to your listeners. I've loved your most recent episodes. They helped immensely. Although I'd finally learned to validate and believe my experiences, it was helpful to fully stop hoping that something might change and put that energy towards helping myself more. If it speaks to you, I'd love to hear an episode on how to work through the agony of leaving your kids half time with the less than awesome other parent. I remember you saying that your kids aren't in your top few priorities, no judgment. I had my son in 2020 and I'm older. I had, quote, my time before he was born, and he's such a focus for me now. I know deep in my bones that having time and space to myself will be both incredibly rejuvenating and healing, and it will help me build the next chapter of my own life independent of being a mom. And all caps, my heart aches so much for the difficulties he'll face by spending so much more time with his father. I'm too familiar with the pain from my own childhood and from living with his father for so many years. I have a wonderful therapist and that helps, but quote, boots on the ground insight from you would be so appreciated. I haven't heard anyone on any podcast or other platform offer anything helpful. Things like, quote, studies show they only need one securely attached caregiver, etc., just don't cut it from me. We're biologically wired to be in close proximity to our kids for their survival, so this whole custody situation feels like death. I listen to every episode when it drops, even if it doesn't seem to resonate, because I know there will be at least a nugget, if not more, that I'll take away. Thank you again for all you share.
SPEAKER_00Oh, deep breath.
SPEAKER_01I have to allow myself to slow down a little bit, y'all. I receive better when I slow down.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much, listener. Thank you for those words. Yeah, thank you.
SPEAKER_01I also have to say, I'm so excited. This is an aspect of Substack that I'm hoping I'll get more exposure to from you guys of you getting to tell me things that you're needing. And boy. Listener, do I have you on this? I actually have a one-on-one client that I'm working with right now who is in this exact same thing. And we did some work last week where I was like, boom. It's almost like sometimes I'm working with these black boxes. I don't know what's in them. And all of a sudden, you know, they unlock and we open and I'm like, oh shit, there it is. There it is. That's what that is. So please know that's one of the episodes I'm really excited to be bringing forward in the future, something specifically talking about those of you that are like, unlike you B, who is like delighted to get away from my kids every weekend. Um, it feels like your heart's being ripped out of your chest. And um, or even from the perspective that like Quinn kind of experiences more, where her kids going with her ex is not actually a safe and enjoyable experience for them. So please know that I am like really so grateful to receive this email talking about that and the inspiration that she's sharing that I now get to take and dive into and explore and also bring my behind-the-scenes work through the podcast to y'all. So this will be coming. And thank you so much for this email. All right, my third email. This one comes, y'all, from across the world from a woman who listened to the podcast, began to get honest with herself, and ultimately made the decision to separate after years of pretending. So let's dive in. Dear Britta, I'm listening to your podcast from the other side of the world, and I want to say thank you, all cats. Y'all. I'm just gonna just take a second to like I'm just really enjoying receiving all of these capital letters. As you guys know from any like emails you get from me, the amount of emojis and capital letters and italicized things, and I just write very expressively. So I'm just receiving some of that yummy yummy yumness with the capital letters. Okay. Thank you for your amazing work. I discovered your podcast in January, and since then I have been listening to your episodes several times. It was just meant to be for me. It's as if you were talking directly from my heart. To me, you are like the only one who completely understands me and my situation. Although I've never met you. Earlier this year I decided to get separated from my husband. I am not a Mormon girl, and I certainly haven't experienced that amount of trauma as you sadly did, but somehow I never was fully honest to myself about how lonely and empty I felt in my relationship. I always thought I was having some completely unrealistic expectations to a relationship. There was always some subtle criticism towards me from my partner, and now with some distance, I realize how I constantly was trying to be good enough for him, but I was just playing a role. He is absolutely not a bad person, and I am grateful that he is such a great father for our kids. But I feel so much more alive and free now that I don't need to pretend anymore that we are a happy couple and it's enough for me. I'm often alone with my kids, but I absolutely don't feel lonely. You were at my side through all this hard time of the decision making and the fear that came up all the time. Your voice always calmed me down, and I could feel that I was on the right path, and I still am. You gave me the strength and the courage to finally make a decision. The way you talk so honestly about your personal journey, I admire it a lot, and am so grateful. You helped so many women out there. There is so much depth to every episode of yours. And I just wanted to say that for me, you absolutely don't need to make them shorter in the future. I enjoy listening to every word, and I wouldn't want to miss any of it. Now I've started to listen to the podcast Post Divorce Glow Up.
SPEAKER_00Woot woop.
SPEAKER_01Quinn also inspires me so much and often makes me laugh. I know, right? That that was from me. She gives such a lightheartedness to this difficult topic. You are both just such amazing and fantastic, courageous women. Listening to you opens up a completely new world to me. A world full of joy, chances, and possibilities. Thank you so much. Oh, y'all. I was like, I'm just gonna read some emails. I'm just gonna receive on the podcast today. It's gonna be great. I think where that really got me at the here, and I just gotta breathe. That's right. After each one, I was like, you're just gonna breathe. And you're not gonna run away from that feeling of receiving ingratitude.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. It's safe to receive be.
SPEAKER_01Oh, it's safe to receive be what really touched me in that I mean so many parts of that email, but what really got me was at the end, you know, when she talked about listening opens up a completely new world for her. And um I just had this little moment of thinking back to when I was considering divorce and how I never dreamed I would be sitting recording a podcast, reading an email from a woman saying, I feel like you know me, and we've never even met. And yet you get me. And because of you sharing with me, I have a completely new world that is opening for me. A world, in her words, full of joy, chances, and possibilities. Like that is what I wanted so badly for myself back then. And just a really special moment to realize not only am I creating that for myself, but through my work, through this podcast, even with women that I have never met before. Um, you know, this is a woman who I've never worked with, I've never done a 90-minute side, I've never done a one-on-one session. In fact, out of all of these emails, I've not met three of them. One of them was in the community for a short time, but the rest are all women that have purely had their experiences come from the podcast, which I think is incredible. And the woman that joined the community was like only in the community for a month and then was like activated and like she was like, I'm off. I'm I've decided I'm getting a divorce. I need to focus on that. I was like, go for it, queen. So yeah, just such a really lovely moment of seeing this is like another beautiful piece of receiving, right? It's a it's an act of self-respect. It's an act of self-love to receive gratitude and appreciation from others. Okay, this one is from a woman who was on the fence for 15 years. Yes, y'all. 15 years of doubting and questioning and trying to figure things out until she recently finally stepped off. It starts. Hi, Britta. Keep showing up. You and your podcast have helped me immensely. You've brought me perspective, clarity, and a physical voice to my inner dialogue. I'm your cheerleader from the Pacific Northwest. Your community is beautiful and intentional, and I will continue to support it through sharing your channel with so many women who are on the fence. I was on the fence for 15 years. Four exclamation points. And I'm not alone. So many women need your voice, so keep going. I'd love to hear you shine a light on how women who want to leave are questioned and doubted, just like rape survivors and victims of abuse, especially when my partner is a charming covert narcissist. I've had to defend my choice so much, and then I realized that I owe nobody an explanation. And here I am in a small community feeling isolated and misunderstood and attacked. And I get to come home to myself and rebuild and define my own future on my terms. It's so liberating to see you living your best life, using your voice and shining your light. I've been calling on the goddess Tara. She brings compassion and swift justice to people living in women's bodies. She's been helping me a lot, and I call on her to send love, compassion, and clarity for all of us women. XO, XO, stay in it. I love, I love that one, y'all. That one always just fills me with that fire. So just receiving that fire, those words, stay in it, keep showing up.
SPEAKER_00Ah safe to receive, be safe to receive.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely, dear listener, will there be an episode in the future talking about this aspect of being questioned and doubted when you decide you want a divorce and how absolutely ridiculous it is, exactly that you have to feel like the burden is on you to be providing an explanation on why you would want to leave. And that is especially difficult when you are married to narcissistic partners because they tend to be very outwardly facing, beautiful, and perfect and kind to everybody else but the people closest to them. So this is another topic that I'm really excited to bring forward. Also, can I just say I am obsessed with emails that end with XOXO? I think I need to do this more often. I didn't realize how much I loved it till just now. And I'm like, that is the fucking cutest thing ever. I would love for more XOs, XOs. Hugs and kisses, so cute. Okay, y'all. So as you saw in these emails, I really feel like in each of them, every one of their stories is about a woman learning to stop waiting. She she is like, I'm not going to wait anymore for someone else to finally give. And instead, in each of them, they are beginning to receive from themselves. You see that. They are learning, like, oh, there's a well in here. And not only receiving from themselves, but receiving from the podcast, right? Receiving from others who want to pour into them. I want to pour into you all. That is why I do this podcast. That is why I have my community. That's why I'm doing a retreat for my community members in October, because I love pouring in to women in this period of their lives that want to be seen, that want more. And these women also allowed themselves to receive from their own truths that were being reflected to them through my words. That's what they're saying when they say, I feel like you know me. We've never even met, but I feel like you get me. That's because I'm just speaking a truth that is already yours. It belongs to you. It's just being activated and you're hearing it more clearly because I'm saying it aloud. So with those beautiful emails shared, I am now going to get to even deeper with all of y'all, get to walk the walk of my talk, which is this beautiful big next step I have made, this decision to move into Substack, to take my podcast from where I'm hosting it now, which would be on BuzzSprat, which just naturally pushes it out to Apple and Spotify, and instead to find a home for it, a place that I can call home and a place where I can expand and connect in even more deeply with all of you that are specifically there on the podcast. A place where it's not just, you know, I get an email here or there, or I get to see um reviews coming through, but actually a platform that houses us. And, you know, as wonderful as it is to see the stats each week of who all is listening and how many people are listening, I want you to be more to me than just a number or a stat. So let's dive in. First things first, I want to talk about what Substack is and why I love it. And that's because I think somebody might have mentioned to me, they were like, I have no clue what Substack is. I don't even know what that is, but like whatever it is, cool, I'm in, but like I need to know what is that. So let me explain to y'all what Substack is. I came across Substack earlier this year. Some of you may know like My Embiolics podcast just moved over to Substack. Um, there's a podcast I love called Diabolical Lies. They also took their podcast over to Substack. So the easiest way to think of it, y'all, is that Substack is a place. It's it's gonna have an app, which I highly recommend you download, which will make it easier to find our specific podcast. But it's basically a slower, more intentional platform. That's how I experience it. Okay. And it's built more around writing and reading and having deeper conversations rather than, you know, the algorithms and kind of the quick hit uh stuff that you see on social media. And honestly, as I've been, so you guys will see when you go to my Substack, you'll see that it says it was launched six months ago. No, it was not. Other than I launched my account six months ago when I started interacting with the platform because I wanted to really know like, is this a place that I would want to go potentially in the future? What is it like? Who are the people that are here? And honestly, I have found that I love it because it does seem to have for me this slowed down, more nourishing feel to it. And it's helped me in interacting with it and considering moving the podcast there. It's opened me to realizing like I have deep down wanted a space where I could share more of my writings and my reflections. Like, you know, I tried to be on Twitter at one point. I tried to post more on Instagram, but really there's an aspect of me that many of you have not even gotten to experience yet of my style of writing, unless you've been in my newsletter, then you know, like that's kind of more of my writing style. And I finally feel like through Substack, I also have a container that can help me expand and share more there as well. So that's a little bit of kind of the vibe around Substack, or at least the way I feel and enjoy it. And one of the first things you will want to do first is go download the app, which of course I will have Alex put a link to in the show notes because it's just a beautiful way to have it. You know, the podcast is the other thing I kind of loved when I was really discussing this move with Chat GBT. I got really excited about this feeling almost like a little, like a refuge for y'all, like a tucked away place out in the woods where we all get together and I wanted it to feel more intimate, kind of more private, more special for you. Um and so having the app in this way gives it a special place on your phone. Like a, I want you to think of it as a set apart little corner of your life where you can come back to this work with me away from the noise of everything else. So you guys can feel, hopefully, in this invitation. This is me inviting you into a deeper relationship with me. This is me saying, I am so on board with being one of those people who gets to pour into you. I want you to set that part, that place where we get to hang out together aside as kind of a sacred, you know, this is where we like have um makes me think of rituals and places like that we set apart in a specific way in our brain, even if it's just a separate app where you're approaching this work. And I have to say, I'm obsessed with this idea of it becoming its own little sacred space for us where your brain goes, oh, we're not just listening to any podcast, we're listening to the stay or go one over here. Now, I know that some of you might be feeling a little uneasy about doing a new platform. And girl, do I get you? Okay. Trust me, with my neurodivergent, like potentially ADHD spicy brain, I get it. I went through my own like freak out, learning, really diving in and building out the Substack because it was like, oh my God, another platform. Okay, I've got to figure out how to use it. But here is what I have noticed and what I want you to think of when you're, you know, moving to this new space, especially when we are talking about the future of the world, when we are talking about the future we want to see. I have noticed on Substack that some of the deepest thinkers and kindest communities are starting to move there. They are gathering on Substack. And I love being at the forefront of movements. Um, I love investing in places and platforms that I feel like are hopefully going to lead the edge on where we're headed. Now, obviously, a part of that is who you choose to follow in Substack. So I encourage you to like choose, choose intentionally, basically, right? Because depending on who you subscribe to, it can become a really nourishing soul supportive space. And if you've never been on Substack before, then like, yay, this is your blank slate to find a new platform where you can choose intentionally to feed yourself voices and individuals that are creating the world you most desire. So when you think of moving to Substack, I want you to see this not just as a way to stay connected to me, but as a doorway into this bigger ecosystem of communities that may also end up being able to support your growth. And for all my babes that are already on Substack and are like, I totally already know. I've already got my crew. Yay! I am so excited to be added. Look at you guys ahead of the trend. Look at me, trendsetters. I'm just following you all. Um, and I will be very excited to see you over there. Plus, in that vein, one of the beautiful, also like cool things about Substack is that you can recommend people when they subscribe to you. I have a couple people that I'm recommending on mine. Of course, one of them is Sarah Blondon. Um, another is um a woman that I love that's writing about kind of the white Christian nationalism movement and what it's like to grow up in fundamentalist religions. Cannot recommend her enough. I really, really like her work. It's called Strong Willed. But if you are someone who is already on, you are like much more on Substack, or you've been on it for a while, and you've got some voices that you know I would love, please email me or, you know, once you get hooked up to me on Substack, send me over a message, drop a comment in because I'm always looking to also open and deepen my the ecosystem that I'm building and being a part of in my feed there as well. Now, let's get into some of the features that I am really most excited about that will be coming with the shift, you know, off of just a podcast platform and into an actual home for my podcast. So for the first time ever, um, my paid subscribers will be able to comment on podcast episodes. And y'all, this is something I have like always, always wanted and that just isn't possible through you know Apple or Spotify platforms. So this will mean you can actually share your thoughts. Thoughts back around specific content, right? How that episode's landing, maybe a different episode it made you think of, maybe a resource it made you think of that you want to share. All of that is amazing. And that ties into that community. Like it's not just me doing this work, it's all of us. Also, this is this creates a just a much easier way for you to communicate and share stuff with me. Because as so many of you know, I literally had a woman today email me being like, hey, I emailed you like a couple months ago and I haven't heard back. Like, and I looked at her email and I was like, God, I just totally like missed that email. Or for those of you that have DM'd me, you know that as many times as I've been like, I think I'm gonna do better with my DMs, it's just not a thing. Like, it's just not a thing. So this is a space, you know, I now kind of have my platform set. I have my Mighty Networks community, I have my Substack. Those are the places where you're going to actually like get messages back from me or where, you know, what you're submitting, if you're saying, hey, do it do a podcast on this, where that actually goes into the list of podcasts I'm gonna be considering because I'm gonna see those messages. Okay, something else that I'm really excited about feature-wise, like super stoked for, is that I'm going to be sharing quick voice memos with y'all through the Substack platform. This is something that like I've noticed I have so much material, like constantly coming through me, thoughts and ideas, but a lot of it does not make it out to y'all, y'all, because with a podcast format, it kind of has to all be structured and then it gets edited, right? And I wanted a way to just have more like raw, real, you know, ideas that are coming through. Maybe they're not fully formed, but they're just burning to be shared. I wanted a place to drop those. So now in the Substack, I can get these out to you guys hot off the press, just something that I'm thinking of, you know, when I'm out driving or I'm getting home from something where I'm in the car or I'm, you know, coming home from the gym in the morning. That's often when I have my insights. Now, let's dive into how this is going to change things and how the podcast is going to work from here on out. I want you guys to have a really clear breakdown of this. So later this week, we really wanted this episode to just go out as normal so that if there's there wouldn't be any glitches, and this episode is at least out and down and accessible to everybody. But later this week, my assistant Alex and I are going to be shifting the entire podcast over to Substack. Here is what that means for those of you that do not do podcasting or any of the tech stuff. What that means is that the podcast is still going to show up on Apple or Spotify, wherever you're listening there. And every month there will still be one full free episode that is going to be available on the first week of the month on those platforms, just like it's always been. Now, the change though is going to be for the other three weekly episodes that would happen throughout the rest of the month, those will be hosted over on Substack instead. And how that's going to look differently if you are still using the Apple or Spotify platform is that you'll be able to see those episodes drop and they will have a 10 to 15 minute kind of intro. Here's what the episode sounds like. And then if you want the rest of the episode, you'll need to head over to Substack for those. Also, another big change when it comes to the podcast is that the podcast archive, this is all of my podcast episodes up until now, those are going to be hosted over on Substack as well. And I will have some of my older episodes still available fully on Apple and Spotify. But if you want the entire podcast archive, like every episode, all the way for my babes, my diehards that have their like favorite episodes that you like to re-listen to, Substack is gonna be where it's at. That is where the full archive will be open and housed. Now, let's dive into pricing and special offers for y'all because I want you to understand the exciting deal that I've got going on for the next two months with the launch of this. So, to kick all of this exciting move off, I am going to do a special launch price for all of the subscribers that join in the first two months under an annual subscription. And the way that will work is that paying for an annual subscription will get you a breakdown of the price that comes out to $8 a month, y'all. And after that, the subscription will move up to be set going forward at $11 a month. So after the two months, what we're dropping the first of October. So by the end of September, moving into November, the podcast going forward through Substack will come out to $11 a month. Which, babes, even at $11 a month, like this is literally like two fancy coffees a month for this kind of deep soul, life-changing work in your pocket on your phone. So I think this is a beautiful, beautiful, just beautiful reciprocal amount. Um, and I was really excited to, with this launch, be able to offer it at that price through the annual subscription that will actually come out to $8 a month. And let just for those of you that are like curious about that, if you sign up at that price and you keep your subscription, that's the price that you get to keep for lifelong. As long as this podcast is on Substack, you will get to keep that $8 a month price. So that is a really big deal for those of you that are like, yes, this is my lifeline. I love this. This is the work that I want to be a part of. This is the work I want in my ear every single week. And I want the full episodes. It's gonna be really, really great for you to do that annual subscription so that you get the $8 a month price. Now, also, and this is like a super fun, just like juicy extra level of receiving that they had available on Subsack that I was like, um, fuck yeah, that sounds really fun. So they have this option for what they call a founding members price. And I actually changed it to the term legacy builder because I, as you guys know from the last episode, feel very passionately about providing opportunities for y'all to invest in this work and to pay it forward for the women that come behind you. I think there is incredible power in us creating this chain, this link with each other through the generations of helping the women that are coming behind us. I know I feel that all the time when I read these episodes from y'all. I'm like, yep, I'm just a few years further down the road. And because I showed up for you, you're now showing up for yourself and you'll be able to show up for other women in your life. So, this option, you'll be able to see it on our subscriber page. The legacy builder option is going to be for those of you that are absolutely soaked about getting all the other aspects of the Substack right, but are also aligned with me in this deeply passionate desire to fuel the growth of this work for the women that come behind you and really wanting to leave a legacy of this work for the generations to come. That's why I called it Legacy Builders. Also, I got to kind of explore and like figure out because you're supposed to have like an extra gift that you give with the legacy builders. And I was like, what would be super fun? So, y'all, I went and made these beautiful, like limited stay or go legacy builder stickers that I designed in Canva. It was really fun. I think they're badass and super cute. So that's one of the things you'll get. You'll get a sticker coming from me in the mail. And along with that handwritten note and sticker from me, you will get a personalized Oracle card pull. So I picked one of my favorite Oracle card decks, and I'm really excited. It's a spirit animal one. And so with each legacy builder that signs up through Substack, I'm going to my assistant will reach out, she's gonna get your address, and then I will pull after connecting in with your energy and kind of sitting down and getting to take space for that, which I'm so fucking excited for because I love getting to connect with y'all more one-on-one. I'm gonna sit with your energy and then choose a card. And based off of that card, I'm also going to record a little voice memo reading you the interpretation from the guidebook and also just personalizing it for you. And I think that'll be really beautiful for you to have this digital audio from me reminding you of your spirit animal card. It's a great thing to have, I think, kind of for the year ahead as a touchstone kind of point to come back to. So you'll get that letter with the Oracle card in the mail, and you'll also get the voice memo from me sent digitally to your email. So really fun, juicy, just kind of more personal gifts there. Plus, as I mentioned earlier in the podcast, all of the annual and legacy builder subscribers in the next two months will be entered into a drawing. And at the end of those two months, I will pick one person, and that person will end up getting a free 90-minute get unstuck and empowered session with me. Y'all, as you know, if you've been wanting to do one of those, they're over $500. They are incredible. My 90-minute sessions are life-changing. Um, you can go to my website and look at my 90-minute sessions to see all the reviews I have on them. They are amazing. So I'm really excited. Like, this was such a fun idea that came through this morning to be able to give that to somebody. And of course, if you are somebody that's like already done a 90-minute session with me and you end up winning that, we will probably just work out, you know, doing a couple of 45-minute coaching sessions. So, either way, you're going to get a really, really beautiful value if you end up winning that drawing. Now, with all of that beautiful information said, and of course, if you have any questions or something that I left out, which I will not be surprised if I did, because this is just a lot of material to cover, feel free to email me, decide at stayorgocoaching.com, because I would love to hear from you. And of course, I'll probably drop that in the Substack if there's anything I'm specifically missing. But most of all, y'all, what I wanted to convey towards the end of explaining Substack to y'all is that the other really big reason this shift matters, not just for you guys, not just for the podcast, but for me specifically, is that for a long time I have really wanted to be able to share more on social media and connecting in those ways, like just being able to share a little bit more of my personal experiences in life. But what I've realized this year is that overexposure to just anyone and everyone on the internet when it comes to my more personal content, I've really started admitting that it's just not supportive of my CPTSD. Right. And I think this is something that we very rarely discuss. And I mean, I know I'm guilty of it as well. Like we often take for granted when we consume so much material from content creators, realizing like how much they are exposing themselves to massive amounts of people. Um, and and while some creators like totally thrive on having their content everywhere, I am getting more honest with myself that for me, that's just not a fit. Um, and although, you know, I'll probably still keep posting like I do on my Instagram stuff from my podcast, that's not really a place where you're gonna like get to connect in more of the behind the scenes like who I am piece. And I really want spaces like this. I want more spaces where I get to actually connect deeply without all of the noise that comes in so much on those other platforms and where I can share in a way where not only, you know, are you getting to listen, but I get to share knowing that you care about my work enough to show up and support me back. And that is big, y'all. That is what reciprocity is truly about. And more and more as I'm seeing the world and understanding it better around me and the ways it is not working well, I have learned like I want to live and model that in my world because I want that type of a future for women. I want women to receive for the things they create. Um, and I am really excited to not only have a space that allows me to share, but without feeling like I'm being overexposed to everybody else, but also gets to feel that piece of reciprocity and me receiving back. Yay! Okay, that is the big pieces, y'all. That is what is coming next. That is the shakedown. We've got one free episode that'll be up each month on Apple and Spotify in the first week of the month, one full one. And then there'll be three subscriber episodes each week following that one, each month over on Substack. You'll see those beautiful snippets from those on your feed still over on Apple and Spotify. When you head over to the Substack app in your phone, you will get all those beautiful extras of the voice notes. There'll be more writing from me. You'll get to comment on things. Um, those will all be waiting there for you when you subscribe. Also within the next two months, that special launch price for those who get to step in and join early and a chance to really be a part of sustaining and growing the movement in the legacy builders section. And most of all, just a lot of excitement, y'all. This has been, this has been a process for sure for me in the last two, three months. Really, honestly, working with my business coach, being more open and transparent with myself about what I need in my life, what I need to feel supported to continue this work going forward. And honestly, coming to the end of this episode, I'm like, I couldn't be more excited to get to do this with y'all. I feel very, I've done a lot of work over the last few weeks to really wrap my head around this, to really feel good about this move, not only for all of you, not only for the podcast, but also for myself. And I honestly am feeling like, yeah, fuck yeah, let's go. Please know as well, in the show notes, you will find links to our subscriber page. Okay, that's gonna show you the different levels with all the details written out, right? I know it can be hard to keep all of this straight when you're hearing it. So that's where you'll start. Once you subscribe, you're gonna get through into the rest of it. And um you'll also find a link there to download the app. Remember that later this week. So if you go and you subscribe right off the bat, just know that you're gonna see, you know, a post from me welcoming you. You'll get to kind of move around the space, see what's there. The podcast tab will not be there yet fully until we drop and move over all of the episodes later this week, and you'll get to watch them populate through into the Substack. Most of all, too, coming to the end of this episode, y'all. I just want to kind of recenter again to where I started at the beginning of this episode and what I hope has like run throughout all of it, which is how radical of an act it is to receive, to say, I have needs and I want to receive. And to also say that, you know, if anyone knows how hard it is to even believe that you are worthy of receiving, y'all, it is me. And it is not something that is like built-in given now. I really Quinn knows she's watched some of the behind the scenes. Joe definitely knows. He has watched a lot of the behind the scenes around what it took for me to really open to this next level of receiving. And I still am working through the process of, you know, working with this voice of shame and shoulding and perfectionism and this inner critic that tells me I have to attain these unrealistic standards of perfection before I get to feel worthy and loved or be supported. But I know that that is not real. That is not the truth. That is the programming of the patriarchy and my childhood. And the truth is that choosing to receive right now, like not later, not in the future, but right now, even when you're imperfect, that is how you break the cycle. That is how you ultimately step up and start moving into the life you actually deserve, which is a life where in your marriage you deserve and receive reciprocity, where in your healing you deserve and receive support, and where in your life you deserve and receive joy and rest and freedom. Having needs is not weak, it is human. Receiving is not selfish, it is your birthright. This is how you heal, this is how you rebuild, and how we ultimately all together change the future. And damn, babes, that is the future I want to live in. A future where women are safe to receive and not only safe, but celebrated for receiving. I am so honored and excited to get to walk this next chapter with y'all and really stoked to see this next level because when I open to receiving, it's it always unleashes a new level of magic. And I'm really excited to get to go even deeper in creating that magic together with you. So I cannot wait to see you all over on Substack. I will be eagerly excited to watch as my emails come in, as all of you come over to that space. And I will be very excited to see y'all next week when we drop our first episode through Substack. Till then, hold on one second. I got a little extra that I wanted to add on this episode. Um, post-recording, I had a question that I thought of that I know may be a concern for a lot of you because I often hear this question with my one-on-one clients or with women in the community, wanting to know how the Substack will show up on your bank accounts. So, in an ideal world, we would not have to worry about this. But I know for some of you, especially if you're in the process of really deep in the considering still, um, that can kind of perhaps lead to conversations or stress that you just don't need. So if that is something you are worried about, please reach out to my assistant, Alex, at stayorgocoaching.com. That's A-L-E-X. And she will be more than happy to email you right back with what our name shows up as on your bank account, credit card statements. Um, I have something that's pretty indescript. It references coaching, but it doesn't actually give us the full name or anything related to stay or go. And that's um, yeah, that's really important for many of you that are trying to do this process and have the space to think clearly without having to handle a volley of questions and a whole bunch of things from your partner. So just know that we've thought ahead of on that for all of you. And if you're really wanting to check and know for sure so you can be prepared, you can email Alex again at stayargo coaching.com. All right, babes, next week.