Welcome to the Stay or Go podcast, where we're changing the dialogue around divorce so that no woman ever stays in her marriage out of fear. Get ready to dispel myths, learn life-changing tools, and build a solid foundation in yourself from which to make your decision. And now your host, me, Britta Joe. Hello, lovelies. Welcome back to the podcast this week. You all will be hearing this on Tuesday, but it is actually Friday night here in Texas. And um I have this beautiful view right now out of my window of dusk falling. I rarely record my episodes this late in the evening. But this episode, in true Britta fashion, in the ways that I love when they come through in this way, it just kind of emerged in the last couple of hours coming through today and a couple beautiful experiences I had today that really made me go, nope, it's gotta be recorded tonight. So I actually just popped out of my office to peek my head in and be like, Joe, I'm actually gonna be recording tonight. He was like, Yeah, go for it, babe. So, um, as you guys may have seen a little bit from the podcast title, the heart of what I want the episode to really bring forward for y'all is realizing that the life you want most really is possible. And I want to try to do that through opening up a little bit more to giving you guys a bit of a like intimate sneak peek. Of course, it won't be sneaking because I'm actually letting you in, but a little peek into my life right now to give you that perspective on what's possible. Because if there was anything I really wanted back when I was considering divorce, I mean, y'all, I would have given anything to have gotten to talk to somebody like me. Somebody that I was like, oh, you've gone through similar experiences or you've come from a background like mine, you get me, and you're thriving. And the life that you have post-divorce is something that you want. So I'm gonna drop in at the beginning of the episode, just kind of taking you guys through my day today, because I want you to see what can be possible. Um, and that, you know, here I am living this life that I'm like, oh my God, I didn't fully know, I didn't have the full vision of what I wanted most. But now that I'm living it, I'm like, oh yeah, fuck yeah. This is what I want most. Not only is it possible, this is the second kind of section of the podcast. Not only is it possible, but it is happening faster than I've seen it happen before. Um, and that's gonna be where I get to share some experiences that I had today, um, some connection that I saw happening in the community, and then also a client that I was working with this week and her story and just how much I'm seeing y'all accelerating what took me like years to do, you know, even just post-my divorce. I'm watching specifically one of my clients that I'm gonna share with you do that in like a year where she is really just like connecting, making the connections, making the pieces. Um, obviously not the full shift into like where I'm at in my life, but once you make those connections mentally, it's wild how much your 3D reality changes along with it. So gonna talk about that a little bit. And then at the end of the episode, I want to let you all in on the big shift that's coming with the podcast. Quinn, after listening to my episode last week, was like, uh, she does not like being left on a cliffhanger, being left with like a teaser episode. Um, so I'll be letting you in on the shift. Next week, we'll kind of get into the nitty-gritty of it. But this week, um, I do want to let you know what's coming. So, with that set, a little bit as our like roadmap for where we're headed. Let me just take you guys back into what today was like for me. So, to kind of frame it out. In fact, I'm gonna even take you back to last night, y'all. Yesterday was a bit of a dysregulating day. This week kind of has been, with my kids going back to school. And um yesterday was the first day that they were now back at their dad's. So I had some breathing room, I had some time, you know, post once getting them off to school, knowing like we're gonna have the weekend, me and Joe, and I can really spend some time resourcing myself. Because I that's that's how I roll, y'all. Where I resource the best is when my kids are not around and I have some space alone for me, or where it's just me and Joe. So last night uh was kind of one of those nights where I was coming off of a pretty emotional, like just a lot of living life yesterday, and ended up in a flashback, and I'd stepped away from Joe to kind of process it. And once I'd processed and kind of gotten back into my body and my mind, like, okay, I am back in adult Brita. Um, I come out and I'm like, I'm starving. Can we go get some food? And Joe and I pop in our car and we're driving up the road. He's driving, and I am exhausted, y'all. I'm sitting in the car, just uh, just exhausted. And in that moment, being able to just like lean my head back against the seat and feel completely safe and just be like, in, you know, in my mind, I was just like, it's okay. It's okay that you're tired. And meanwhile, I've got my partner there driving us, and he's like, Any idea where you want to go? And I couldn't even answer him, you know. I just like stayed there and he didn't press me. He just kept driving because he knows when I'm just needing a little bit of space. And then I'm like, you know what? I really just I really just want to go get a burger from five guys, and I want to go get chicken tenders from um Raising Canes. That's what I want. And he's like, absolutely, that sounds delicious. Let's do it. Um, and so that's what we did. We went and picked up burgers from five guys, and then we drove over to Raising Canes, and we got chicken fingers and fries, and we took them home and we chilled out on the couch and ate together and just talked and chilled, um, watched a couple episodes of a show afterwards. Cause y'all, getting older, I don't know if this is maybe it's just a me thing, but like I can no longer just eat and go to bed. Like, I gotta give myself some time to digest. And it was just like the perfect kind of imperfect evening. Imperfect in that it started with me like really dysregulated in a total flashback, needing to be resourced. And I was met in all the ways I needed to be met by my partner, supporting me, being there for me, and rolling with me into the space that I needed, which was just like, let's get some fast food and go home and chill together. Which, you know, wow, y'all, right? Back when I was considering divorce, nobody ever made me like that. That I never dreamed that that was gonna be my future, that I would have like a weeknight where I wouldn't have my kids and I'd have a partner that I adore that I'd be like finishing up work and get to go just chill the evening with. Sounds as I'm saying it aloud, I'm like, I know this sounds so simple and so silly, but when you're in a marriage with someone that you don't feel this kind of safety to just be you, to not be perfect, to not be always holding it together, to not be hyper-vigilant, it's a really big deal to have something as simple as this in my life. So fast forward, we go to bed, wake up next morning, and yeah, getting to wake up in bed next to someone I love, getting to wake up out of bed, you know, take my time, moving slow. I knew I had a call at 10 a.m. this morning, at a couple clients this morning, and getting to wake up with him and kind of just snuggle in, do a little bit of talking for the day. And then once it's like, all right, I gotta get up and get moving, this really beautiful moment where we get to both pull our tarot cards for the day. And that is something I really love that I, you know, if you'd asked me, like, do you think it's possible to have a partner in the future who would actually want to like pull his own tarot spreads and put them into Chat GPT and like do that along with you? I would have been like, that's a stretch. Nope, y'all, it's possible. It's my reality. So we both pull our tarot cards. And then I get on a couple of client calls that just really lit me up, y'all. Just reminded me again of like, fuck, this is my passion. This is what I'm meant to be doing in the world. And that was something way back when, when I was considering divorce, I never would have dreamed was possible. I didn't even, I what for one thing, I had never really worked. I was a stay-at-home mom, so I didn't have a career. I definitely didn't think I was gonna be an entrepreneur. I definitely didn't even know I liked the thought of being an entrepreneur. And so here I find myself on these calls, speaking to, you know, one of my clients who has managed to move out, which was a huge move for her in her process of considering divorce, and is kind of reached this point in her journey where it's like, hmm, she knows what she wants for the future. And it was so inspiring to see her say those things, to say, like, I want to have an emotionally attuned partner. I want someone where I can be like free to be myself and really show up as all of me, and they're into that and they want that. And at the same time, as she's saying all of this, us acknowledging that to have that future, a big decision has to be made, which is ultimately filing and moving forward with getting divorced and getting to basically, you know, on that call, hold space with her together to look at that dragon. Because when we look at that step, the the bigness of that step, a lot of fear came up and getting to walk through that fear with her and start strategically planning out and helping her think through, you know, what that next move is. And I loved that on that call, I could just be like, what are the facts? Like, give me the details and really break down for her and help her see that actually the best move for her, what's the most supportive for her for her future, is to get divorced. So after those two calls, I get off of those. I'm on my like coaching high, which I love after I've had a really awesome session with a client. And I'm like, babe, I'm hungry. And we head into the kitchen to make lunch together. And while he's doing the dishes, I'm cutting up the vegetables because I'm feeling, you know, in the need for some like, you know, we had fast food last night. So I'm kind of feeling like I need something more nourishing. And we're talking and we're chatting and we're kind of discussing like, you know, things that have been coming up, ideas, um, some different things we've kind of been flowing in and out around conversation with. And then, you know, on top of that, this is another aspect that I just like, y'all. I never dreamed this was possible, but wow, it's my reality. Our beautiful black cat, which I know those of you that have listened to the podcast in every episode will know that at Christmas, we had this amazing little adorable black abandoned kitten show up that we rescued. And y'all are black. He is so big now. You guys have probably seen him in a few of the podcasts. Potentially, those in the community have seen him in the background during our community calls. Sometimes he's in the podcast videos on YouTube. Um, but he is like in the kitchen with us, you know, talking, chatting. Our kitten is talking and chatting. He is so talkative. And like at one point up on the bar watching Joe cutting all of the sausages up. And such a like special cute moment for me around like, and let me just frame this out for y'all. That was something that I was really sad about when I was married, is my ex-husband was allergic to cats. And so we could never have any cats. And cats are just my thing, y'all. As you guys know, like I adore my cats. And that was another thing when I was dating guys post-divorce that I never I thought wasn't possible because I dated a couple guys who, one guy especially, who was like, oh my God, I hate cats. They're so annoying. And I remember after dating him being like, I don't think that's gonna work for me. Dating a guy that hates cats, like, that's not a fit. I happen to adore and love cats. So no, but I didn't think I would have a partner who would like love cats as much as I do. Turns out what you want really is possible. Um, Joe absolutely adores um our cats and is so good to them. And not only does he love cats, but you know, uh just like a side note for me is understanding that as much as I adore Joe, like we will never have um children together. That is something that with both of us having CPTSD, even as much as we love each other, that would be an absolute terrible choice for us and our future. But that doesn't mean that I haven't felt at times the like, oh my God, I wish I could have raised children with this person because um, like I see for the first time a little bit more like, oh fuck, that's that's what it would be like to have a child with someone that you really, really deeply love and who knows you. And um, it's it's been a big like eye-opener for me, y'all, around like, oh, that is not what I did. Um, I had children because that's what religion told me to do. And, you know, my ex-husband and I, we just weren't on the same wavelength, the wavelength that my partner now um is on with me. And so all of this ties into this gorgeous little black kitten showing up that in so many ways has given me and Joe this like experience of getting to have a fur baby together. He is definitely like our baby. And the special, like the special moment of our baby, you know, being up on the bar, watching him cutting vegetables and the way he grabs him and we play with him, and it just like a moment of wow, this is my life. This is my fucking life, y'all. We've got this kitten underfoot, we've got music playing in the background. Like I had music on all day, just flowing throughout space. And then at, you know, one point I'm like, oh, the plants out front need to be watered. So I go out and I'm watering my plants, and he comes out and lets one of the cats out, and just life, you know, we're just living life. This is just one day in my life. And after we watered the plants, I knew I had one of my community calls coming up this afternoon. And so before that, we just were like chilling, snuggled up, kind of chatting on the couch and discussing kind of what we want to do this weekend and me communicating clearly the like I've been feeling under-resourced and I want to make sure I'm getting more sleep this weekend, and then bringing up two that like I really kind of want to re-condo our closet because that's something that we um like a week ago, we did a clearing out of our bathroom, and y'all just going through that process and throwing all of that stuff away cleared a lot of mental space for me that I've been filling. And I've been like, okay. Um, in her book, she talks about how like you can basically marie condo your whole house in six months. And so I was like, Joe, I'm in. Let's do this. Because both Joe and I tend to just keep stuff. And so telling him that and being like, what do you think? Are you in on that? We had an opportunity to maybe go out and do some things with our friends and you know, giving kind of my opinion on it and him being like, Look, I'm also feeling under resourced. Maybe we do, you know, maybe we don't go out that night. And instead, I recently had found a food rescue place, and I've been wanting to do more in it in the community, like actually be out in the community helping people in a very like hands-on way. Um, so instead, we've decided to go and do that Sunday morning and to have Saturday be a day more where we're like here at home together. But like how beautifully simple and gorgeous of just being able to talk through a weekend together, being able to share both of our needs and to be on the same page and excited about the same things and wanting to do those things together. Like, yes, yes, y'all, this is possible. And then I had the community call came up at like four o'clock this afternoon. And damn, y'all, this is where the day really started to blossom for me into I think what the heart of this episode is built around, which was on that call. I just was like seeing these beautiful, amazing women being so vulnerable, right? Many of them on the call are just kind of like in this, the thick of it right now, like these tough, kind of exhausted, overwhelmed kind of moments in the journey. And getting to be on that call with all of them and feeling that connection, that support, that maybe we can't make the tough go away, but we can make it easier in that you know you're not alone in the toughness, right? And then after that call, I got to watch an interview. As you guys know, if you've been listening to the podcast, to get into the community, um, everybody has to do an interview with my assistant Alex. And I have been obsessed by these, y'all. I love getting to watch the interviews of the women that are coming into the community. Gives me an opportunity to really like hear a little bit about you before you come in and your story. And straight out the gate on this interview, I was like, oh my God, this woman. Like, I love when I just feel these zings with women coming in. I can feel that, like, oh, they get it. And she kind of said that straight off the bat that in listening, like she just found the podcast, I think like a week ago, which is uh kind of rare. I don't usually have a lot of women that like are eager enough to be like, oh my God, yes, like podcast, community, let's go. Um, but what I really appreciated was her mentioning how hard it's been for her to go through what I would term, she didn't use this word, but like a massive awakening. And in that awakening, becoming aware of the programming and the requirements put on her by life as a woman and starting to realize actually what she wants out of life and what she wants for herself, and how scary and destabilizing that can be to feel your views of the world shifting while at the same time getting a lot of pushback from your spouse, maybe from your friends who just don't get it. Who are like, this is enough. Like, why are you rocking the boat? And on top of that, that being compounded by her really struggling to trust herself and hear her own voice through all of it. And y'all, as I'm watching this, this, you know, it's a recorded interview, so it's not live, but I am like in my seat, wanting to jump through the screen and just hug her because I know what that feels like so, so deeply. To feel like your world is shifting or like, wait, I am something different. There is something different about me, and to be in a world where nobody else gets that. Nobody else gets you. And I was really touched because she said that she had been searching for a voice, like for someone who could understand her. And that the moment she found this podcast, she knew. Like she said, there was instant recognition and seeing and hearing the relief in her voice around knowing, like, oh, I am not crazy. I am not alone. There is at least one other woman in the world who is on this same wavelength. And that moment, y'all, so you know, taking you kind of through this view of a day in my life. And I'm not even going into like all of the details, but some of the like special, beautiful details in in what was my day in just a normal Friday for me. And then hearing this woman on this interview basically kind of calling out through the airwaves. I love too that she's all the way over in the UK, just continues to blow my mind. Those of you that are like the way the podcast manages to reach so many of you all over the world. Hearing her voice and her story on that interview today really took me back, y'all. It I could hear the kind of like fear and uncertainty in her voice around like, am I just wanting too much? Is what I want not possible? Am I just crazy? And it really like jolted me back into what it felt like to be me six to seven years ago when I was really confused and really struggling and had no perspective. I mean, I'm still, I'm like wigging out right now as I think about it, y'all. I'm like, holy shit, that was, it feels like an entire different lifetime, the person that I was back then and what I thought was possible. And seeing in her and remembering in myself just the level of pain I was in, and how difficult it was to catch the vision and really believe and trust myself, to trust those soul calls that this was right when so much in my environment was telling me this is wrong and you are wrong, and you should get back in the box and you'll be safest in the box. And through that moment of like, oh my gosh, here's this woman on this video interview that like literally in so many ways reminds me of myself. And here I sit in my life on the other end. Um, just you know, a little further up the path. I had a big moment, y'all, where I really saw, like in a zoomed-out way, like, oh wow, this is what I'm doing here. This is why this matters. This is why this message is so important. And I know that probably sounds crazy, but you guys will relate. Like, this is the internalized experience of like imposter syndrome and not really seeing yourself clearly in the way that other people outside of you do. But it really brought home for me that these journeys we all are on, they they are really taking us, I think, to the heart and soul of not just like, am I going to stay married or not? Am I going to get divorced or not? But there's this, I see it in the women in the community and the women that I talk to. Like, if you like the podcast, then you have a deeper journey here. And it is a journey that really at the heart of it comes down to what does it mean to exist in this world every day? Like, who do I want to be in it? What do I want to believe in? What do I want to invest my energy and my focus and my light and my life in? And who do I want to be? And what experiences do I want to have coming through that? And I talked about this last week. I think last week's episode like ties beautifully into this one a little bit, right? Around the like, look, let's check the engine lights, let's make the shifts now. But I want this episode to be more of a dropping in and saying, y'all, it really is possible. It really is. I think that was the moment for me. The like aha moment on this interview with her was like, oh my God, it's like I'm looking at my past self. And my past self on this interview is saying, is it really possible, Britta? And I was like, I need to have a podcast episode where I am saying unequivocally, it is possible. The life you want most, the connection you want most, it really is possible. Now, this is where I want to dive into a little bit more of like the specific stories that came out of today that kind of prompted all of this. Because I want to also emphasize that the journey that you will take to create that life will look like no one else's. And that was a point on the on the interview where she was like, I just really like want to see someone who is like exactly like me and has all the exact same things and like see that they made it. And she was like, and I know that's not possible. And I was like literally saying aloud with her, like, yeah, that is not going to happen. And it doesn't need to. Because, and this is the framework I want you guys to have thinking of your own journeys. Because, you know, as I said in the podcast episode title, like what it takes ultimately is choosing you first. That is like the first step. And then the journey gets to unfold in its own beautiful, highly specific and absolutely tailored to you way. And I want to share with you some perspective on that because Quinn and I were talking this week about this exact thing. How I was like, I feel like as a coach, where I've seen other coaches kind of take a more like, here is the process, this is how you do it, or here's the tool. I feel like my gift and what I do instead is more of like the bigger perspective. And here are all the different ways or different like avenues that you can go down and pursue. And you'll probably use each of them at different times. Um, and let me compile them all together. Um, as Joe said, he's like, you're more of a facilitator. You're like, I see myself as like the hub, and there's all of these spokes coming off of it of all of these paths that I'm like, here, this, this, what about this? What about this? And that emerged specifically out of my own journey, which is that the starting point, I think, for my journey wasn't, oh, considering divorce. It was, I am a really shitty mom. I am showing up in ways that I don't like. I'm hurting my children. I want to do better for them. I'm gonna go to therapy. And I went to therapy, not for my marriage. I went to therapy for what I, you know, at the time didn't realize was like severe depression. And then it was like therapy was kind of the first entry point for me. And then after therapy, I moved into, you know, training and becoming a life coach and really getting into coaching. And then since then, there's been dozens of resources that I often share here on the podcast. And for those of you that have done 90 minutes with me, you know that like I pull from that huge well of resources when I craft your map afterwards, that map for you to go forward. And like basically what I'm doing is I'm saying, like, oh, here's the stuff you're struggling with. Here's the different layers that you want to work through, and here are the tools that you should go use to start working through those things. So not only is there like different avenues that you're going to use throughout your journey, but there's also different layers. And for me, like I said, the first layer seemed to be around like I entered with the I need to be better for my children. And then, like, layers of an onion, the first area that kind of emerged and started getting worked on was my relationship with my mother. And that's where I learned about narcissism. And that's where I realized, like, oh, I don't actually have a very healthy family, and I need to have clearer boundaries with my mother. And then the next layer was my religion and realizing, oh, there's a lot of the same things that I saw my mom doing in my religion. And then from there, the next layer became my marriage. And there have been many layers since that as well, multiple layers post that. Um, versus, you know, when I was talking to Quinn, her layers were different. Then they unfolded in a different way. Um, I know for her, it was kind of like her marriage, and then it was like religion, and then later on, it was her family and her relationship with her mom. So, where that was like a starting point for me, that wasn't for her. That understanding that your journey is your own is so important because a lot of us are like looking for how, the how, how do I do this? And hopefully, as you've picked up from the podcast by now, I really don't want y'all focusing on the how. As long as you can come to the decision of like, I am choosing me, the how unfolds from there. That is what I've seen. And it will take, like I said, a multitude, infinite pathways, because each person is very different. Each of us come to our journeys in our own ways. Now, why these journeys matter so much, these very specific individual journeys for each one of you, is that I really am seeing and understanding more clearly how if we want to change the world, if you are like currently like me, being like, what is the future going to be? If you want to decide and know what the future is going to be, it is done right here, right now, in your own life. It is not about waiting for governments or politicians or the world to change or waiting for your husband to change. The shifts are made right here, right now, every day, in those moments where you start choosing yourself now. When I look back, I was like, when I was looking back, I'm like, how did I get from where I was at six to seven years ago to where I'm at now? How did I make the life I most wanted possible? It came from choosing me. Me, y'all, day in and day out. It came from every day learning just a little more, a little more each day, how to pick me, how to disappoint others, which Quinn had like a killer of a line this week. What did she say? It was something about like we need to get better at disappointing everybody else but ourselves. I was like, oh my God, podcast episode incoming with Quinn dropping all the like truth bombs on that. But it's so true, y'all. It is in refusing to live lives that disappoint ourselves that we end up creating the future and the world that we most want. And if that is like hard for y'all, which I'm raising my hand, it was hard for me too. It's still at times hard for me. It's gotten much easier. Um, as I see it does for my clients, like as you change your life and change your environment to be supportive of you living a life that centers and cares about you and the things that you want in your life, it does get easier. But if for right now it is not, this is where seeing today my one of my clients and then the community where I was like, oh my God, there are so many resources now available to help accelerate you into that next piece. And you don't have to do it alone. I think I definitely in my journey, I look back and I had a lot of feeling like I needed to do it alone. And maybe that, you know, I know a lot of that comes out of like, I have a real lack of trust in others that they will not convince me or, you know, show um try to get me to do something that I don't want to do. And so I had to do a lot of it on my own. But that is the gift of this podcast. That is the gift of the community. And I saw that today in the community because one of the women in the community, I mean, granted, like I said, most of them were in kind of like rough spots on this call, which I'm so here for because that's what we need support in the most, is the rough spots. But she was sharing really vulnerably about some of her thoughts and what she was feeling. She'd gone through something really tough recently in her marriage. And it was so awesome to in that moment be able to be like, hey, I think this is a CPTSD flashback. And to like right there and then, and with the other women on the call, watch the shift. It's like we're getting to interrupt ahead of time these patterns that on our own just keep getting repeated and reinforced, which, if anybody knows how much CPTSD and emotional flashbacks repeat and reinforce patterns, it's me. So having that moment of getting to pop in and kind of be like, hey, babe, this actually isn't you. This like hopeless, helpless, it's never gonna get better. I see no light at the end of the tunnel. That is not you, and you are not alone in that. And this also makes me think of the client that I was working with this week, who, y'all, she started working with me in July of last year, which kind of blew my mind as I was writing this episode. I went and actually looked up and I was like, oh my God, it's only been a year. But she is already making connections in our work at this point, like we were we were discussing this week. And I saw her making connections at this point in her journey that I was like, holy shit, those are mirroring work that I have that I've been doing this year in my journey. Like work that has taken me five years post-divorce to get to, she's already making those connections because of the work we've been doing together, the facilitating and her her seeing and working with me to catch those things has like massively accelerated her growth. I also just have to say, I think a lot of this too comes from the age of Aquarius. Things are shifting this year on a much faster scale than I think we've seen previously. And I want that to be inspiring for y'all. Like with the whole focus of this episode, which is that the life that you want is possible and it can happen faster than you imagine. Because when you decide, right, I think that is like the first piece is really choosing to believe, like I get to choose me. And as you start believing that you are worthy of the life you most desire, even if it's just from the tiny small point of like Britta believes I am. And if Brita believes I am, then maybe I am. You start to create it for yourself right now. And you know who that shifts it for as well? It shifts it for if you have children, it shifts it for them. And even if you don't have children, it shifts it for the rest of the world around you. I know so many of us have been looking around, thinking, like, what can I be doing? How can I be helping create the world in the ways I want to? How can I be making a difference? You do it now with your own life. There is no law, no politician, no broken system that is ever going to be able to shape the future in that way, in the in the powerful way that you will by making your own life the future you want most. And I just have to say, too, that's where the ripple starts. I mean, y'all, that is my life. That is what I have lived in becoming the ripple that started in just the like, I want to live a life that I love. I want to not be depressed and, you know, wanting to die all the time and feeling miserable and unable to cope. I mean, I coped because I could really hyper function, but deep down inside, feeling dead inside, right? I was like, no, I want to live. I want to really feel alive. And through that journey, look at now the ripples that have been created. I mean, I when I say these things, I think of the emails that I've received from y'all, which next week, when I share more about the details coming up, um, I will get to share without any identifying details some of those emails with you all to hear the impact and to hopefully like bring to you guys the scope of what we're doing here, what we're doing in our own lives, what I'm doing here in the podcast, what we're doing in the community. This is a movement. And along with that perspective that came through for me today, just an even more expanded perspective of like, whoa, not only is this like our personal lives, our personal growth, it is a movement that is changing the world. I was able to sink even deeper into acknowledging for myself what a huge privilege and honor of my life it is to be able to be in this work with you all. Um, I get to be in a very incredible position of getting to receive your emails, of getting to work with some of you one-on-one, of getting to be in the community leading those calls. And as I'm saying, oh, as I'm saying this, I'm like, oh, like I get to hear your stories. I get to witness your courage. I get to live each day knowing that together we are creating something that is so much bigger than ourselves, y'all. And I think I just wanted this episode to be a peek into all of that, um to hopefully let you all in to what I'm seeing and how inspiring it is for me, how excited it makes me feel to understand that these journeys each one of us are doing. Yes, it comes through the lens of considering divorce, but ultimately it is, I mean, honestly, y'all, your journeys are rewriting what it means to be a woman in this world. And it is rewriting it from frameworks that that women get to be unapologetic, that we get to be loud, that we get to have wants and desires, that we get to be big, we don't have to be small to make others feel good about themselves, that we get to choose our own futures instead of waiting for someone else to hand them to us. And especially. That we get to go through the process of considering divorce, not with the societal expected and forced shame and guilt guiding our every move, but rather with self-compassion and bravery, with vision and self-trust. And as I see over and over in the community, with clear eyes and hearts that more and more each day can hear our soul calls and honor them. And that's what blows my mind too, because I just started the community, it isn't even a year old yet. It's coming up on it, but it's not yet. I am blown away to see how much women are going through this experience within the community in a totally different world. Like a very different framework. Like I see it changing the neuroprogramming of their brains going through the experience of considering divorce, not alone, not from a framework of shame and guilt, and that being the only messaging they're getting, but rather a framework where they are being seen, contrary to the isolation that has historically been, I think, the experience for most women considering divorce, they are getting to go through it with actually experiencing more connection, more deepening of relationships. And if even if you're not in the community, just listening to this podcast, that's what I've like learned from those of you that have emailed me and been like, I've never even met you, but like this has absolutely changed my life. Every time y'all listen, every time you take a breath and catch yourself in your CPTSD and choose a different thought, maybe choose to say no to what drains you and yes to what calls to you instead, you are helping create the future. And that is the future I want to live in so badly. As I see a world where voices are getting louder, advocating for women's voices getting quieter and their worlds getting smaller, their lives getting tighter and more restricted. I want all of us to understand and see this future and catch this vision of this future so that we get to create it and pass it to the generations to come. So with this expanded vision that's really honestly been building for a long, a long time now, y'all, over these months, as I've like expanded with the podcast, built the community, really starting to see the impact that this message has on the world. And as today was really driven home to me even more clearly. As you guys know from last week, I've been asking myself, how do I make sure that this movement doesn't just like continue, but actually grows? And how do we, because I truly believe this is not just a me, like you all are drawn to me for a reason. This podcast speaks to you because I think we are all part of hopefully not just letting this be about our lives, but keeping the doors open for those women who aren't even here yet, but who will need it so badly when the moment comes. Ah, this just like strikes at the heart, y'all. Because I thought, you know, today watching that woman on that call, like I don't want women like me to be left behind. It's not just about me getting to live the life I most desire and the life I want to believe is possible. It's about understanding the women that come behind that are, you know, just a little bit behind me on the journey or a little bit further back. And as you guys know, I have really poured my heart and soul into this podcast. It's been so much more amazing than I could have ever imagined or dreamed for over the last year and a half. How amazing, right, y'all. Like what an incredible journey that in so many ways has and continues to show me more of myself and what is possible in the world when I show up as me, when I speak my truth and share the tools and the concepts and the things that I'm learning that have changed my life and that I see. I mean, that's one of my gifts is I feel like I can see hopefully the shifts that need to happen and the changes that I want in the world. And I'm I'm a vision sharer. That's that's a lot of what I do here is helping you catch the vision of what is possible. And along with that, catching that vision, I have really recognized that the time has come to step into the next expansion for myself with the podcast of honoring and respecting the level of the work I do here. And along with that, inviting those of you that listen into an even bigger way of doing this work together. So that is why the big reveal of where I'm going to be headed with the podcast is that I'm going to be moving the podcast onto Substack. And what that means is that starting very soon, as soon as next week, you will be able to support this work directly. And I'm very excited. I'm not going to go into a ton of the details. So, along with subscribing, yes, you will get more of me, which I am excited to open to a lot of you that maybe the community isn't the best fit, but you still are really connected in with the podcast. Of course, with the Substack, you'll now get extended episodes. I'm also going to try some behind the scenes voice notes. Like y'all, I often have moments where stuff is coming through, but to take the time to sit down and create a podcast, it's not something big enough that would go on a podcast, but it's something that I could just drop into a voice note. I'm excited to share those here to hopefully get to share more personal posts, maybe even, you know, videos and photos of my life with y'all that didn't feel open and safe in the ways I wanted on social media necessarily. I did that a lot in the past, but I've just noticed for my nervous system now, I really want to be in places where there's more reciprocity. Like that is all awesome and wonderful. And I'm excited. I really am excited for all of that as well. But more than that, this is an opportunity for all of you to get to pay this forward. And I didn't understand the importance of that till I got an email. I think it's been a couple months ago now. And hopefully you're still listening, the woman who sent me this email. But she was reaching out, basically saying, like, I want to support you back. I want to be able to contribute back to all that you have given me. And it really touched me and took me back. I was like, oh, wow. Like it meant a lot to me to hear that. And I know that for many of you, this podcast has felt like a lifeline. Like it has been a mirror. It has been a voice in your ear when you needed to hear most of all just the simple things of like, you are not crazy, you are not alone, and you can trust yourself. And as so many of you have told me, it has helped you breathe easier. It has helped you feel brave enough to make harder choices, choices that go against maybe what everybody else wants you to make, and feel seen in ways that you just didn't know you needed. And there is immense power in being able to give back to something that has meant so much to you. And this is where I've really seen this in the community. The community is where I have learned in a much more like visceral, real way the importance of reciprocity, of not only giving, which y'all, I love to be the giver. That's my comfort zone. I love to just give, give, give. So not only the importance of giving, but receiving. And Substack is going to help me with this dynamic to fold because it becomes a way for me to vulnerably open to not always being the one that is giving and to really allow myself to receive and be supported by what I send out into the world and into your lives. And since I said it was a two-fold piece, it gives each of you a way to give back, not only to me, but to the women that will come so that it can keep going. And this is really the perspective that I'm hoping many of you will catch in this episode and around this shift for me, because I want you to understand that your subscription will keep the door open for the next woman behind you who stumbles into her stay or go moment of considering divorce and is feeling terrified and unsure and finds exactly the words that she needs that day in the podcast. Like this was the moment, y'all, that happened for me on that video where I was like, oh my God, on that interview today, I was like, oh, this feels amazing to know I have watched this journey and I have set up and helped support a path that is now helping other women who in the almost exact same like fear and confusion and overwhelm that I was in now have a lifeline. So it is a way for you to know that you made sure that this podcast is here for the next woman who needs it behind you. And I see when I think of this, this like beautiful linking chain that is being built by all of us in this process, this immense power that will be created in this like connection that we build between us in this act of receiving and giving and giving and receiving. So it is an opportunity to also be able to give back in a way that maybe for those of you where the community is not a fit, but the podcast is where it's at, and it's something that you come back to every single week, or it's something that you couldn't live without to be able to contribute back. So, most of all, y'all, I want you to know how much this work means to me. I have seen a real deep deepening. God, I just did not mean to cry and like get so emotional on this episode, y'all. I'm like, uh, every time I talk about how much this means to me, it obviously means a lot to me. Um because it's just like really raw and at the surface today, which is why I wanted to record this, because hopefully when I show up more in, you know, the actual moment, it conveys in a way that doesn't if I'm, you know, not in it. But it also leads to a lot of getting emotional on the the episode. But I think this year, with everything going on politically, with the level of like work I've been doing, understanding historically, I have really been growing into my responsibility in this work. I have been growing in my depth of appreciation at where I find myself and where I find my life. And what an incredible uh privilege and gift it is to get to be on this podcast, you know, sharing and saying clearly to you all that the life you want most is possible. It is. I live it right now. I in so many beautiful small ways every day get to live the life that I wanted. And you know, here's what I will say too. This is the beauty of like the podcast, because I know there's gonna be more episodes, you know, so many more episodes ahead. I already had like seven episodes come out this week on a note in my phone where I was like, I want to talk about that, I want to talk about that, I want to talk about that. Like the floodgates are open right now, y'all, with me stepping up and opening to this call really from the universe to expand into receiving more and therefore being able to give more. Um but let me be clear that when I say, you know, the life you want is possible, that doesn't mean my life is everything that I've dreamed of right now, right? I'm still in the journey. But damn, is it already a ton of what I hoped was possible and a whole bunch more that I never could have even fathomed was possible. And I think too, I am getting more clear on what actually matters to me. What does a good life actually look like? And y'all, a lot of the things I thought I was gonna want just three years ago that were much more focused around what capitalism had taught me would make me happy, I am realizing like those can, those can just be the, I don't know, the double whipped cream on top of my life. Like they're not actually the meat and bones that, you know, if I have those and I don't have the meat and bones, that's not a life I want. And if I have the meat and bones and I don't have those, not a problem. So know that when I say, you know, I'm living the life that I think is possible, I actually still think there's a fuck ton still possible for me. I think I'm only getting started. Let me put it that way. And that fucking blows my mind to say that because where my life is at right now, the the level of me that I am showing up as each day, the realness that I get to live in, the rawness, the just being myself, who I am, and that being enough each day, that is really, really amazing. It is an incredible space to live in. And I love the privilege of getting on this podcast and being able to say, like, I am living proof. And I get to see every day in my work, in the community, on 90 minutes with y'all, with my one-on-one clients, I get to see how women choosing themselves and showing up is creating the future that I want most right before my eyes. You can accelerate change with support. That is the other piece. I want you to get the support you need, whether that is the podcast in your ear, whether that is a community at your fingertips, whether that is a coach by your side, it changes everything, y'all. Like that's that's the like moment for me of all the tools I'm teaching you, all the things I'm talking about, like that is what I invested so heavily in myself. I prioritized me, I chose me, and I put me first. And in fact, that's what my business coach was just saying to me earlier this month, where she was like, Britta, instead of getting small, when you got divorced, being a stay-at-home mom, with like really, she's like, the logical thing to do would have been to like go try and just get a job somewhere and hope that you could survive and you know, last it out, and maybe not that she said this, but realistically like try to land a wealthy husband. Like that was really what my options were. And she said, It is amazing that instead of that, you were like, I'm a bet on me. I'm a bet on me. And I truly believe that is the best fucking bet that you can make. And I believe it even more after seeing where the world is headed, what is going on this year. I am like, this is the bet to make. And in making this bet, you become part of the change, the change that we are all waiting for, hoping for, that we are most hoping and wanting to see in the world. This is the change. It is the change of women trusting themselves first and foremost and living bold and beautiful lives that they are the captains of. And I want to close out this episode by celebrating each and every one of you for being a part of this movement. If you have been listening to the podcast for a long time, then I know you've been making those changes in your life. You can't come back each week and listen to me and not be making some of these shifts. And if you're just finding the podcast, welcome. Like you are part of such an incredible group of what would I call us, y'all? Like, it's this energetic frequency that we hold of women that refuse to be tamed, that have this soul part inside of them that is like, um, I'm a no. That's not gonna work for me. And are brave enough to go through the process in Glenn Doyle's words, of untaming ourselves, of leaving the cages and trekking back out into the wild, literally trusting ourselves above all else. Fuck yeah, to that. All right, y'all. With all of that said, that gorgeous episode birthed. Every time I have one of these ones that just like wants to come through me, that is what it feels like, y'all. Next week, just know for those of you that are like have some anxiety, like, oh my god, what's gonna happen with the Substack stuff? Don't stress. I'm going to share exactly how you can join me as one of the subscribing members of this new and next beautiful big chapter of this movement and what that exciting shift is going to look like in a lot more detail and where we'll go from here. And I am really excited. Like, I cannot wait to welcome you all into this with me. Also, as always, just want to remind you the community is popping off, y'all. Um, we're getting really excited. We are going to have our first retreat. Uh, at the moment, I am only doing retreats with women that are in the community, and we are doing our first one in October. And I am really friggin' excited about this, y'all. Quinn and I have been getting all of the goodie bags together. I am like beyond stoked to get to meet women that I have really come to love and become very close with through the community and our live calls there, and our coaching calls, and the chat, and all of the feedback that happens there. And to get to finally meet them in person. I cannot wait also to get to share afterwards with y'all what that experience was like. Then I had a post today in the community where I was like, I'm pretty sure this is going to be a portal for everybody, just like Burning Man was for me. It was a portal that completely changed my life and my life was never the same afterwards, in the best of ways. I have a feeling that's what this retreat's gonna be like for the women in the community that are coming to that. So if you have been. Considering the community, I cannot recommend enough joining now. Because yes, this is going to be our first retreat, but depending on how this goes, I am so hopeful and optimistic that this will be potentially one of many. And, you know, I feel like really lucky that on this retreat, there's a lot of women that have kind of been my founding members or women that have been in the community for a while. And I think it's really going to have an even bigger impact for them. There'll be a few I know that are like some of my newbies, and I'm super stoked for them as well. So community is just everything right now. And I don't think that's going to go away. The Age of Aquarius is about community. It's about working together through these things and not doing that journey on your own. So if you're considering the community, remember you can text Stay Orgo community. That'll take you straight to the landing page where you can sign up and do your interview with Alex. Like I said, I get to watch all of them. So you're not just coming into the community without me knowing who you are. I know you. I'm so excited to have you. Um, I've had a couple women join this last week. I already got to see one of you on the call today, sending you so much love. Um, it's always such a gift to get to meet you all. I want to see your faces. I want to get to hear your stories and to know you. To know you. It's a really special, special thing. Also, 90 minutes, as you guys know, these are my jam. This is my wheelhouse. This is me under the hood of your marriage, your life, your brain showing you what is what, what is up, what is down, and where to go next afterwards. For those of you that may not know, after the 90 minutes, um, you receive within like the next three to four days a beautiful PDF with all of my notes and a roadmap that I have built specifically for you. It is tailored to you. Um, pulling from the multitude of resources that I have done through my own work and compiled. And then I also record an audio that is just for you, that you get to listen to and come back to moving forward in your journey. I just can't. I think my 90 minutes are incredible value for the investment that you make for them. And finally, as always, my one-on-one coaching for those of you that are looking for an opportunity to get to have me with you every single week. And not only are we meeting every week, but I am getting to dive in specifically, like my brain on your brain, opening and activating you in all of these incredible and amazing ways. I mean, I really truly have seen how much the women that work with me one-on-one, their lives open up massively and change in really big ways. Like I said, that client that I started working with a year ago is managing to put together and figure out concepts and ways of viewing the world that it has taken me years to figure out and that I'm only just now like kind of working on. That's how quickly she is picking up this stuff because we're doing it together. And I'm able to bring that in and structure it for her in ways that just massively, massively accelerate her growth. And that excites me to no end because I know that when her life changes, the ripples from her life, the ripples that go out from that into her children, into her future partners, into her work life, into her friendships, into her, into all of it. Every person we want to go really deep that ends up touching her aura, right? Standing next to somebody in a grocery store, your auras are touching. She ends up changing the world through the work that we do. And I think there is nothing more important than that, y'all. So if one-on-one coaching's been calling to you, go to my website, stayorgocoaching.com, and go look at the deep dive. Because that's what it is, y'all. It's a deep, deep dive with me. All right, y'all. That's all I got for you this week. That's all. Just that. Take care, sending you lots of love, and I will see you next Tuesday. Bye, babes.