SPEAKER_01

Hey, loves. Before we dive into today's episode, I want to take a moment to speak directly to those of you who may be in the choice or the season of staying right now in your relationship rather than going. In this episode that's coming up, this incredible conversation you're going to get to enjoy with my guest this month in the community for our workshop and on the podcast, Carmina Becerra. We talk very passionately about our own experiences with leaving our marriages and a bunch of other gorgeous, amazing things. But I just felt the need to lovingly acknowledge before you dive into this episode that for some of you, this might feel like a sharp contrast to where you're at in your own journey, right? This is a podcast where we're talking about both deciding whether we're going to stay or whether we're going to go. This one has got a lot of go energy in it. So for those of you that might be in a different space, just know that I see you and I honor the complexity of the choice that you are making. And I want you to know that just because this episode is leaning heavily in one direction, it does not mean that your path or your truth is any less valid. So as always, take what resonates with you and gently leave the rest. And also just know that I have been thinking about you all specifically a lot lately. I've had a couple people I've coached recently who their answer has been to stay. And I know that the experience of staying comes with its own set of very deep and very courageous work and growth. So with that in mind, know that I will be sharing in the future more episodes soon where I'm going to be speaking directly to your experience. That's something I haven't focused on as much in the podcast up till now, and it's something I've been really called to do. So there'll be more support, tools, and care for exactly where you are in the future. Know that you are not forgotten, you are not alone. Okay, my loves. Let's dive in. Welcome to the Stay or Go podcast, where we're changing the dialogue around divorce so that no woman ever stays in her marriage out of fear. Get ready to dispel myths, learn life-changing tools, and build a solid foundation in yourself from which to make your decision. And now your host, me, Britta Joe. Okay, y'all. Woo! This is like the second time we have started this podcast today. And I love it so much. You can hear her gorgeous laugh in the background. I have such a beautiful guest that I get to have on the podcast with all of you today. Her name is Carmina Becerra. And we have been for a month now trying to make this episode happen. Y'all, we got on today to do it, had all these technical difficulties. And I just have to say, like, we have persevered, haven't we, Carmina?

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. So we're extra excited today.

SPEAKER_00

I know. There is like so much energy. Um, so I'm really excited to drop in.

SPEAKER_01

Just to give you guys some quick background. Um, I met Carmina through our mutual burn group that we were a part of, our camp. And in a really tough moment for me, she backed me up and really showed up for me. And we'd never even met, y'all. Um, and it was really inspiring. Um, she reached out, we connected, it was so beautiful. And that just like one little moment. And from there on, I knew once I started the community that I had to have you here to speak to my women. And when I found out that you were activating your voice coach and speaking your truth, I was like, yes, yes, give me more. So tell me a little, just give everybody a little bit of a backstory because you have an incredible backstory of your route to becoming a voice activation coach. Just give us a little bit of that.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, yes. Uh, well, first off, I want to say yes, I was I get very fired up on defending standing up for and holding space for women and their voice, and you are such a powerhouse. And so I just had to uh stand up for you and um and and then it was just the rest is history, right? We we connected so deeply after that. Um yeah, so so inspired by everything that you're doing, and I'm so honored to be here today. And I live for this, you know, I live for activating, supporting, and freeing women's voices. And so how I got to this point is is quite an interesting story because it has different avenues. Uh, I was in television for a long time in Spanish television in LA, and I was really young, and uh, you know, Telemundo, Univision, all these different huge networks, and I hadn't done any inner work whatsoever. I was just one of those people that was trying to look hot, sound hot, and all the super, all the superficial things. I'm not gonna judge that part of me now because she was wild and fun, very, very fun and really hot. But Lord, she did not know what was going on.

SPEAKER_00

I love knowing this this side of you because I've only ever met your like, you know, grounded, done the work.

SPEAKER_01

So I'm like, oh yeah, this is where we gotta all have that spicy site too.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. So during that time, even though I had not done any work and I did not have any emotional intelligence, I did have a really soft space in my heart for people that would get really uncomfortable when I would put the microphone in front of them. So they would send me out on a certain job. I would have to interview people. Some of them were, most of them were celebrities or professional athletes, but my favorite were just random people on the street. And when I would interview these random people on the street, they would get so nervous that I just wanted to hug them and like take their nerves away, you know? It was just this feeling I had. And so I started experimenting. Again, I did not know what I was doing. I started experimenting sending them waves of color from my body to their body. Like I would see waves of color coming out of my body to theirs, and I was doing it selfishly back then. It was selfish, selfishly because I knew that the networks that I had to turn in a good interview. If I turned in an interview where the other person was nervous, I looked bad and I could lose my job.

SPEAKER_01

So it was just like I would never have thought of, but because I've never been in that world, but yeah, that makes so much sense that their performance reflects on you to some yeah, to a huge extent.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, so that would that was like the top layer. And then the the second layer, I'm obviously in front of this person and I see them sweating profusely and getting so nervous that I would feel so much for them. I'd be like, oh, and and also I'm really tall, so I I would usually tower over people and with heels even more, and I'd be like, I just want to hug them like my little I got you.

SPEAKER_01

You're like, but I can't do that. So what'll we do instead? I'm gonna send you energetic waves of color.

SPEAKER_04

Waves of color that would come out of my body into theirs, and then all of a sudden it started working. Yeah, that exhale that you just gave, that's exactly how it would happen. They would be like, oh, and then they could actually speak. Because at first they would just like stumble on their words, they couldn't even speak. And and it's what what really broke my heart at first is that it's people when you're standing on the street, you've seen it with like newscasters or news reporters. When you're standing on the street with a camera and a mic, some people are really excited to get in front of the camera. They're like, look at me, look at me, look at me. And so there's people that those people would get so excited, but once they the microphone was in front of them, then they couldn't speak. And so I just wanted for that excitement to be expressed, you know, for them to be able to actually get it out, whatever they wanted to say, whatever they approach us, approached us with so much excitement for that for them to actually say, My doggy's excited too. I would say those waves of color started working, making a difference, yeah, and their nervous system would calm down. I could see them calm down, I could see their breath get slower, I could see their shoulders drop, and at the end of the interview, they would just hug me and be like, I don't know what happened, but I'm so grateful because I felt like I was gonna pass out, and all of a sudden I was so calm and I was able to speak. Thank you so much. And even prof because we would also I would also interview like CEOs of companies for like sales and and things like that, and they would they started requesting me to be the one to interview them, and it all of a sudden it was like the best reporter, quote unquote. And I was like, whoa, okay, this is my ego, loved it, right? But at the same time, they were feeling so good in front of me, and so yeah, years later, I got enrolled into a transformational training by a dear friend of mine, Preston Smiles. Shout out to Preston. Um he he was like, Oh my god, I just did this transformational training, self-development training, it changed my life. And this is the first time you had heard about anything like this? Anything besides like religion, this was the first time I had heard about anything. I love that, right? Seriously, I at like I had only read Conversations with God at that point, and it was really eye-opening, but I had no idea about self-development. When I was younger, my parents tried to take me to therapy, and I was like, nope, I'm not gonna talk to anybody, I'm not gonna open my mouth, you know, super rebellious, all the things. So I go to this training and I see the facilitator walk in and start breaking us all down. All he knew was our names. We had our name tag, right? All he knew was my name. And he looks at me and he just goes, These are all your limiting beliefs, these are all your patterns, this is what holds you back, this is what you've been doing your whole life. I can see it in your like he's just started breaking me down.

SPEAKER_00

And I was like, What is this magic?

SPEAKER_04

And I want to do this for the rest of my life, and so I did all those trainings and I developed myself as a facilitator for those self-development trainings and as a coach, and it took all my blood, sweat, and tears to do that and years and years and years, but then I started facilitating those trainings uh with different companies, companies, different coun in different countries all over the world, really powerful, powerful work. And then after years of doing that, I combined the two. My love for media, for television, for having people get on camera for public speaking. My love and passion for that and self-development. I married the two because the core, the core, the true core of any self-development trainings is to peel back all the layers to get back to who we all were from zero to seven years old before all the contamination, the trauma, the parents, the abuse, the programming, society, the news, all the things, right? Like, yeah, of course, there's a lot of self-development trainings that are that specialize in a lot of different things, but the core, core, core of all the inner work is that to get back to who we were when we were born.

SPEAKER_01

That purity of like what is your frequency, your message, your essence, unfiltered through all the bullshit of everybody else's.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. So I was like, oh my gosh. So if I start coaching people through all these breakthroughs with their voice to get back to the core message, the core frequency, the core nucleus of who they were when they were born, then it's the same thing. And so I was like, ah, like huge life.

SPEAKER_00

Just totally go together.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, developed my curriculum, and I've been doing that for over 15 years. I've had over 800 graduates, like Oscar winners, Grammy winners, all the like shamans, yoga teachers, authors, all you name it, right? It's it's every single person needs this type of work. And I feel like the voice is something we don't think about a lot. You know, uh, breath work is very trendy right now, and it's very powerful, but we hear it a lot, and then uh yoga and meditation, but the voice I feel like is this you don't hear it. Whenever I say I'm a voice coach, they're like for singers, and I'm like, no. So I I it's it's a whole new thing that I feel like we're just starting to tap into.

SPEAKER_01

And so yeah, I have not I have friends now through the ecstatic dance community that understand the power of sound and vibration and even like the words you're speaking creating that vibration in your body that can heal you through speaking it. But until I'd met them, I had never thought of my voice being a tool that could be used for healing myself.

SPEAKER_04

It's I mean it's a channel for healing, it's a channel for medicine for others, it is a purification channel, it is a connection, it's it's everything.

SPEAKER_00

It really is everything. I'm such a nerd for the voice. I I am so here for the nerding. We will I am here for the geeking out. Yes, absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so so beautiful to get some perspective of like I loved hearing how you kind of going through your own journey and you finding these deeper layers to yourself and then combining those for other people and taking a medium that can be used in all sorts of different ways. But I think you're most passionate about using it for the good of transmitting that clear, clear vision that somebody has in their life, which I'm talking about all the time with my women as far as like their soul calls or their inner knowings, right? These things that these gifts that you have, or this purpose that is calling to you, or this path in your life, that in order to do that thing, you have to be able to speak your truth. Specifically, I think with your people, right? It may be a little bit more career-oriented, but I'd love to hear you talk because I know we mentioned you going through your own process of that journey with your voice and kind of how your voice helped you go through this path with divorce, right? Like not only can your voice be used through media, but I think even just in those daily interactions with other people, we are crafting an image, a reality through the words that we're speaking, right?

SPEAKER_04

For sure. I mean yes, I these difficult conversations that we sometimes avoid. Uh the the telling someone I love you when you feel so vulnerable because you don't know if they're gonna say it back, or the having to say it's over, I have fallen out of love, and you know someone is gonna be heartbroken, those are that is public speaking. Like I always say it's not just the the work starts way before, you know, because people come to me and they're like, give me the tools, give me the tips, you know. I have a TED talk tomorrow. And I'm like, Well, when was the last time you cried and you allowed yourself to be seen vulnerable, you know, and to be heard vulnerable? That's uh public speaking training right there. So wow, anyway, going to my story, um it it's it's really interesting how the universe works because I ended up marrying someone who has pretty much the same story I do. He was a TV host, and then he became a coach and facilitator, and we had the same mentor.

SPEAKER_01

I I don't remember this part. I know you told me he like was a very similar with the media and reading, but becoming a coach and facilitator as well. Wow.

SPEAKER_04

We had the same mentor, and so it let's see, where do I begin? So, so in the beginning, I we we were both developing ourselves as facilitators. We our our like television careers were kind of on their tail end, let's say. Uh and we were both very passionate about supporting people, you know, hope helping people transform. And when we were both in this community, it's called this this training is called MITT. This company's called MITT in in Los Angeles, Mastery in Transformational Training. Look it up, it's powerful. Go to these trainings, they're so powerful, and they're all over the world. There's other companies. Uh, and so we were very known in the community. We were like the Jay-Z and Beyonce of the community, right?

SPEAKER_00

And you are setting this story up. I am hooked. Yes, tell me more.

SPEAKER_04

It sounds very egotistical, and it was.

SPEAKER_00

And it was true. It was true.

SPEAKER_04

So uh when we fell in love, like we were friends for about 10 years before this. Not best friends, but friends, like in the same group. We had gone to Burning Man together, we had done ayahuasca together, we had done many, many, many things together, spent birthdays together, like 10 years of friendship together, known each other's exes, you know, etc. And so we fell in love at this women's training, at the graduation of this women's training that I was facil uh a captain for, like I was facilitating the staff, and he comes in to support this the training, right? Like the graduation to honor the women. We had done a lot of deep work in there, and he's standing in front of me, and the main facilitator uh asks the men that came in to honor the women non-verbally. And so he's standing in front of me. He said he just felt pulled to stand to come towards me. It wasn't like a romantic energy or anything, but he felt a pull to come stand in front of me and to honor me, all our years of friendship and everything. And so she's saying, honor this woman in front of you nonverbally, just touch her face and see the power that she is and all of these things, right? And I'm Balling. He's bawling. And all of a sudden, I hear a voice that tells me, This is your husband. And I was like, what? I resisted the voice. I was like, what? Caduce? Like what? That's my homie, you know? Like, um, but after that it ended, and I had this, I was just blown away by the voice, the the download that I got, and and so I kept it quiet for for about a month, just just being with it, being with it, until he kind of came to it and started pursuing me. And once he pursued me, it was it was fireworks, it was explosions of connection. We're both very charismatic, very huge personalities, and very known in this community, right?

SPEAKER_01

And so So everybody's probably rooting for this then as well.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, yes, it was like wow. Uh, and I'm saying all this to say our mentor, when I tell her I'm in love with caduce, she says, huh, this is interesting. How is this gonna work? And I was like, what do you mean? And she goes, Well, Caduce can't share the spotlight. And she goes, Yeah, no, like he it's it's really difficult for him to share the spotlight. Like he he loses his his center when he has to share the spot. And I and I didn't make too much of it, and I was like, oh no, whatever. We co-facilitate things all the time, it's all good, you know. We've all done this right. One of those, like, oh no, I'm not gonna listen to this. It's you know, one of those messages that I probably should have listened to. We're probably gonna save me a lot of pain. A lot of pain. But hey.

SPEAKER_01

Hindsight. Hindsight's always 2020. Always.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Wow. Right at the beginning, you have someone who knows both of you who has worked extensively with both of you, saying this looks like a bit of a mismatch because he can't share the spotlight, and you're obviously this powerhouse.

SPEAKER_04

Huge energy, like huge energy. And I I very much can share the spotlight. I love for all of us to be in the spotlight, but I am like, I just I'm automatically in the spotlight.

SPEAKER_03

Like, no matter where I go, what I do, what it's just it's just part of who you are.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I'm an Ares, I'm fire, I'm an extrovert, like all the things.

SPEAKER_03

I'm a generator, like all across the board, all of the personality tests we can do, and they're just all the same. So this is this is me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So you go in, like kind of it sounds to me like love conquers all kind of feeling. Like, not gonna stop us, there's nothing we can't overcome. When in the marriage do you start realizing, oh, wait a second, and what kind of tipped you off?

SPEAKER_04

Wait, so there's more. So before we're even married, still during this phase of like we're we're both facilitators, now we're dating, like it's full on, we're so in love. I got assigned to make up whatever workshop, whatever theme I chose, and to create a workshop, right? And I chose the art of allowing. And I used and I developed a workshop on I I'm very gifted in developing a workshop or like a curriculum and like tying in the distinctions and the breakthroughs and all the things. And so, and so the art of allowing, because that was the story of our love, right? So I interwove, interwove, is that a word? Anyway, I love that one. I woven our love story to the art of allowing and how it manifested, etc. And so I facilitated it, it was like for a final exam for my fuss facilitation process, right? That he was in also. And so when I would facilitate this, he was always in the room, and so I would always give him like a big like acknowledgement in the room, and so all of this made it possible for me to fall in love with this king, you know, and so I take responsibility for just giving so much, lifting him so much, and so that uh in him the quote unquote struggling with like sharing the spotlight. The reason why I didn't notice it is because I thought he was always cheering me on, and now it turns out he was cheering on the workshop that highlighted him at the end of it. He was the center of the workshop, even though it was my workshop.

SPEAKER_01

But I designed it to without even knowing you were doing that, totally unconsciously centering him.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, yes, oh and I have not thought of that since now. I mean, till until now. It's it's wild.

SPEAKER_01

It's the cool it's the Kool-Aid we all end up drinking as women. I I it still, I think probably till the day I die, I may be having to actively realize when I am just centering a male or or a male's perspective or a male's voice, um, just because that's the safest thing to do often in the world we live in.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. And now that connecting back to my marriage, whenever people would ask him, What how'd you fall in love with Carmina? And he would say how powerful of facilitator she was. And I then asked him, like, was that strategic? And he was like, Yeah, I knew that you were gonna like we were gonna be successful with you. Like, we started our company together, like this public speaking training. We started it together, and so he saw my voice as goal, something that was valuable, yeah. And so that was beautiful because we started the company together and it empowered and supported and healed a lot of people of a lot of things, and and then I continued it on on my own, but that is what started a long list of moments in which I prioritize uplifting him because I already had that little information of he can't share the spotlight. And I would always excuse it with I'm okay not being in the spotlight. He needs it, or else he'll he'll be thrown off. Oh fascinating. And since it doesn't affect me if I sit back, then I sure I'll I'll sit back because it doesn't throw me off to not be in the spotlight, right?

SPEAKER_01

So even And yet you you even but obviously you notice you thought this is how you could kind of fix that, right? Is you accommodate, but obviously, even in the accommodating, it wasn't enough, correct?

SPEAKER_04

No, no, no, no, no. It was not my responsibility to uh dim my light or to quiet my voice or to be worried about someone else being intimidated when I was shining.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I think this is the this is uh I don't, it's almost like a deal with the devil kind of that we make as women, thinking, you know, because we do, we're so good at seeing our partners' insecurities or what what do they need? How can we help them? How can we support them? How can we give them that leg up? Not realizing that in some ways I see this a lot with my clients, we can end up, and not that this is what happened in your instance, but we can end up handicapping them as well, because that's work they need to be doing is getting over that shit or working through that piece instead of us always cushioning or accommodating, or because then when you finally stop doing that, they're not, they can't handle the full you.

SPEAKER_04

No, it scares them. Yeah, there's a lot of scared men out there right now, and there's a lot of really powerful men out there right now that really love to see us in our power. You know, and so we need to really work on our discernment because I sure as heck didn't. Oof.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So I'd love, I'm totally curious about that. Let's do a little rabbit hole there. Looking back at yourself back then, because I think a lot, at least I know for me, you are gonna be a totally different flavor for a lot of women on my podcast. You're gonna be you meeting someone in this, like you're both facilitators, you're both following this path of healing, you're both, they are gonna be hearing this like I was thinking, this is the, this is it. This is the person. This is the this is all the things, right? You're the most special people in your community, everybody's rooting for you. And he's doing the inner work, like That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, yes. Yes, yes, that's what I'm saying, Carmina.

SPEAKER_01

Like a lot of the women listening to my podcast, they've got partners who are not doing the inner work right now. So I think there's so much to glean from you on like an even higher level of what does that discernment look like looking back? Where were the moments where you were kind of like, it's not that, you know, not that big of a deal, or we already know you kind of accommodated in hearing that about him instead of going, ooh, wait a second, that doesn't really sound like a fit, because I'm a pretty big personality, right? Your brain went to, oh, well, I can make space for that because I don't, it's okay. I don't, I don't need to always be big. What were some other areas though that you said now when you said, you know, we need to be better at discerning? Tell me more about that piece.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, that's where somatics come in, right? Uh I yeah, I one of my modalities and what I specialize in is somatic healing. And that's how I approach healing the voice. And what somatic healing means is that most of the therapy that we're used to is cognitive, which means that we're talking to a therapist, and the therapist is asking us what's in our mind, what are our thoughts, what's going on in our thought, in our thought process, what are the patterns that we have? What did you think about this? What triggered you? Where is this taking you? When was the first moment you you thought about that, etc.?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Somatic healing is focused more on the body, the sensations, the feeling, what what triggers, where it's triggered in your body, how we can move it, where things are stored, where trauma gets stored in our body. I don't know if if uh you're familiar, you probably are, but the body keeps the score is one of those that I highly recommend everyone and anyone to read. And although some people are like, well, I haven't gone through trauma because they or that deep of a trauma because they focus on on veterans, but but it sh it just shows you how it manifests in the body if if this if you're new to like trauma being stored in the body. And so how we discern is our body is constantly sending us signals and messages, constantly, yes, and my body is not sending me more than yours. My body, because I studied somatic healing, is not speaking to me louder than you. No, it's just that I have practiced listening to it, listening. Because all of our bodies are communicating with us. How our body's communicating with us is through body sensations. What are body sensations? They are vibrations, it is uh uh hot, cold, it is a puncture, it is a itch, it is a pain, it is a frozen color, it is a stomach ache. Like, how many of you have felt when you go to a party or a dinner and you're sitting next to someone and all of a sudden you're exhausted when you had all the energy in the world when you got there? And it's your body telling you that this person you should stay away from because they're gaining your energy, and so that is how our body is is communicating with us, or we end up dating someone, and when after we break up with them, we're like, oh my gosh, I just realized that I used to get sick all the time with this person, yes, like whatever it was, my stomach would get sick all the time, or you know, whatever that's another thing. Our body's constantly telling us who to talk to, who not to talk to, what job to take, what job not to take. And I teach my clients how to be their own human pendulum.

SPEAKER_00

And so Oh, I love that image.

SPEAKER_04

I've never thought of it that way. Yeah, how to be able to decide what to do, what not to do, etc. And so how we can refine this deep listening to the sensations that are always there, they're always there. Even people try to want to believe my body doesn't communicate with me. Yes, it does. Every single one of our bodies are communicating with us, but but we haven't practiced listening to it. And so one of the ways in which we can refine that is by having daily check-ins, right? Really simple daily check-ins. What are my current thoughts, current emotions, and current body sensations? That's it. Like, that's so simple.

SPEAKER_01

I love it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, current current thoughts, current emotions, current body sensations.

SPEAKER_01

The awareness levels, bringing that awareness back down into the body. What's what's the weather?

SPEAKER_04

Let's practice it. Like, what are your current body sensations right now?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, in my body, I'm feeling I'm definitely like jittery because we're recording the podcast, which is it's like bubbly kind of champagne sensations. I feel those are kind of rippling up from my stomach, up kind of up into my chest. And then in my heart, it feels really warm because I've been wanting to do this with you for so long. And and what I'm noticing is as you're bringing me out of my head into the body, I'm getting so much more pleasure out of this moment here with you.

SPEAKER_00

And that train. I love it. It's like wow, wow. We're just gonna we're just gonna enjoy that beautiful. I where where are you, by the way? You're in LA, right?

SPEAKER_04

I'm in LA and my I'm at my parents' house uh visiting them, and they're the train passes right behind the house. This is the house I was born in.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So beautiful. Like that moment, if I wasn't connected into my body, might have felt a little bit more, you know, the mind wants to control everything and it's gotta go a certain way. And but since you had me in my body, I could just like laugh and enjoy the experience of what's unfolding.

SPEAKER_04

The surprises, the unknown. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah. Just like, oh, we're safe.

SPEAKER_00

We're good.

SPEAKER_01

I just get to enjoy this. I don't have to do anything. Yeah. So I'm feeling all of that in my body, and it's I didn't realize how up in my head I was till you directed me down there. Yeah. What about you? Tell me, tell me yours. Tell me yours back.

SPEAKER_04

I feel tingling in my feet. And champagne bubbles in my chest as well. We're we you and I are very connected. We knew that since the first time we spoke on the phone. I feel electricity in my hands. My hands constantly feel electricity. I have healing hands, so they they constantly have electricity. I feel a bit of tightness in my back. And to take it a a bit of a step deeper. Yes, please. Once once we have practiced what are the sensations in my body every day, right? Like, oh, what are my sensations right now? Just in the car, right? You're on your way to pick up the kids. What are my sensations right now? Well, I feel this or that in my chest. Great. Just a check-in. No right or wrong, just observing. That's it. Then eventually we can deepen it into okay, body, what are you trying to tell me with this sensation? And it will answer us. It's the most fascinating thing. It will answer us. And we can either practice it by giving it a voice or by allowing our hand to write whatever it wants to write.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, the free write. Just free hand journaling, exactly. What flows out.

SPEAKER_04

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

So this is what you're meaning with the discernment. The discernment is going to this knowing through the body that knows the things you can't know cognitively.

SPEAKER_04

No, because cognitively, guess what we would do? We would write the checklist. He had like talking about dating, right? This guy's hot. He went to Harvard.

SPEAKER_01

He uh You guys had the checklist in your marriage. You had checklist.

SPEAKER_04

Totally. Completely. Yeah. And my body, the whole it was like, nope.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_01

So wait. So you're telling me. Are you wait? So check in with me. Are you telling me that there was a part of you when you got married to him in your body that maybe was saying, there's something off, but you overrode that with your mind?

SPEAKER_04

Yes, I got frozen shoulders. My shoulders froze up. I could not lift them. I could not lift my shoulders. I went to chiropractors. I went to it was it was so painful. So painful. And the the thing, the thing that blurred it all, and is that it was a fairy tale. It was the, oh my gosh, he's a facilitator. I'm a facilitator. He was a TV host. I was a TV host. We are quote unquote Jay Z and Beyonce. Like It's all perfect. That's why the freaking Disney movies I know.

SPEAKER_01

I know. They traumatize us. It's it's all that external looking so good. It's when we make choices, which a lot of women that I coach, that's what that's what it is. Like, well, he seemed like he was a good guy. He seemed like he was gonna make the money, all the things. My first marriage, same thing. He was good looking, he was gonna make money, he was Mormon, he was all the checklist. But on my wedding day, same thing. I was in like a full-blown body panic getting into my wedding dress.

SPEAKER_04

Like I could not stop crying on my wedding day.

SPEAKER_01

How many I I hope lots of women listening are feeling very validated in this moment because I have heard so many stories of women being like either on their wedding day or before the wedding, just in their body, not feeling settled or excited or present, and and you're about to get married. But we still go so why tell me like what made you still go through with it? Because here you are, this facilitator that's like all about somatic stuff.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I hadn't gone through somatic training yet.

SPEAKER_00

Oh there we go. Now I'm there's the answer.

SPEAKER_03

Now I'm a somatic healer seven years after I divorced him.

SPEAKER_04

But yes, so I mean I was a transformational trainer then.

SPEAKER_01

And that's a lot of similar to what coaching, the coaching I was trained in is a lot of mental, still it's a lot of cognitive, and it helps. But a hundred percent where I've gone in the last few years, it's the body. Yeah, the body knows.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it doesn't matter. So you didn't have that back then. No, it our body has the wisdom. Like I I'm constantly telling my clients, let the body lead and let the mind follow. Oh, yes. When we let our body lead, oh, it will it will lead us. And and not meaning like let let the body lead, like who makes you horny or who turns you on, because some people some people misinterpret that, right? Like, especially men. When I say let the body lead, they're like, oh God, if I let my body lead. So I guess like that's not no, that's not what it means. That is me.

SPEAKER_01

Exactly. That's and I think of that more when we say let the body lead, we're talking about this intuitive knowing that the body has rather than our urges or our addictions, right? That's that's kind of all that stuff, that programming that we're working through, kind of sifting and navigating to connect in with like what does it feel like when I'm really getting the intuitiveness from my body, rather than perhaps all the programming I think we get in our body, the ways we use our body. We can even use our body to escape what our body's telling us at times. We're using substances or people to escape what our body's telling us.

SPEAKER_04

Totally. And when we really listen to it, it will contract or expand.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, I'm so glad you said that. Like, tell me more because I am obsessed with how simple that is. The feeling of like you think of something, and if your body is moving towards it versus pulling away. Yes, tell me.

SPEAKER_04

I I keep things so practical and so simple because I am the type of person that I'm that I'm just like just oranges and apples. That's it. Explain it to me with oranges and apples. I don't want to hear about the mystical, the woo-woo, the all the shit. Just oranges and apples, you know? And and that's how I explain it too. So so every single time somebody asks you something, or you need to make a decision, or you need to figure out aside from becoming your own human pendulum, which that is a deeper practice that I teach my clients. So work with me.

SPEAKER_01

But yes, how I literally was just thinking, I was like, fuck, I want to work with Carmina.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, everyone is welcome.

SPEAKER_04

Um but if you pay attention and you do an uh do a check-in whenever you're gonna make a decision, practice with small decisions, right? Should I go to this dinner? As you ask that, your body will expand or contract. When I'm in front of a certain person, does my body expand or contract? And what I mean by contract is do my shoulders want to cave in? Do I want to protect my heart and kind of cocoon it in and arch my back to protect it? Or does my heart and my shoulders open to receive? Because our body does those things without us even knowing sometimes, and we don't pay attention, and that's its way of deciding yes or no.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, absolutely. So I'm so curious, tying this back in to your marriage and realizing like, okay, this isn't a fit. You didn't have the somatic tools back then, but did you somehow find a way back to your body knowing to get out of that? No, no, you just got out through the pure, like well, he had a psycho he had a psychosis.

SPEAKER_04

And we so I saw signs of narcissism, and but they weren't I didn't see them as red flags because again, he was doing the work. We were both doing the same work, but just because someone is in the room doesn't mean they're going deep. It doesn't mean let that land want to, totally, even if they want to, even if they think they are some people can't they just can't access those parts of them, and so he had a psychosis and he it started with insomnia, and if you don't sleep for just three nights, they declare you clinically insane. So whoa, I mean, you you're a mom, you've had sleepless nights, I have had sleepless nights. I'm not a mother, but I've partied.

SPEAKER_00

Or you know, or that might be one of my favorite lines. I'm like, yes, yes. I'm not a mother, but I've partied. I'm like, that was the life I wanted to live.

SPEAKER_03

Talk about authenticity. Wow.

SPEAKER_04

Um so yes, sleepless nights. Yeah, you feel discombobulated the next day. You're like losing your mind the next day. You're like, I don't even know what time it is, what's happening. I don't like I'm hanging by a thread, right? To like get to the schedule, get to the things. And so imagine I had so, so, so much compassion for him because the days would pass and the days would pass and he could not sleep. So he I was seeing at the time my love suffered so much, so much, and the clock was ticking, and the more days would pass, I knew his brain was just being affected by it. And so uh this lasted about nine months, and by the end of it, he was a completely different person. He would say that he wished I was blonde, and he would say these these things that it was just it wasn't him anymore. And uh I knew that he didn't mean any of those things, and I knew that we had a wonderful marriage before that, but uh he's the one that asked me for the divorce, and toward the end, he it it there was a lot of paranoia, and so there was blame on me causing his psychosis and all this stuff. So there I I suffered a lot um because the person that I loved so much that I thought was the love of my life to turn and blame you for the most painful thing they've ever experienced was so painful for me. Yeah, and so toward the end, it was like he would growl at me and turn into it was just it was I would run out of the house, like run so that um it wouldn't get violent, it never got violent. Um I'm very grateful for that. We had a we had support around us constantly, whether it was my family, his family, or friends, but toward the end of it, because I was blamed, because he was paranoid, because it wasn't him. Um, and I just want to reiterate like that, like whenever I say all of this stuff, it wasn't him, it was whatever he was going through, you know. It he it felt almost like something else entered him and took over, and it was no longer my husband, and it was someone else, something else running the ship. And um, and by the end of it, because I was blamed and gaslit, yeah, then I believed a lot of this stuff, and then I it was so traumatizing for me, and so not only had I silenced my voice so that it wouldn't you know increase or add more to what he was going through. Yeah, and even before the psychosis, I had silenced my voice so that he wouldn't be so sensitive to me, or I wouldn't shine too bright, or I wouldn't throw him off, or I wouldn't make him feel uncomfortable, or whatever the case may be. Uh, so that was already happening before. And then when all that happened, it was just like I was a I was a scared little girl that felt like was going through abuse, you know, not by my husband, but but by whatever was going on in his mind.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and so I I want to make a quick point here that I think is so important for the times that we find ourselves in, which is the amount of psychological pressure we I I just look around me and I'm like, it is really fucking hard to be a human in the world that we live in. Like it is not set up to support us. We don't have even in communities like that, still going and and facing your shadows. And I have so much compassion when I talk to my clients and they talk about their husbands not wanting to do the work, right? Because it is hard, and as kind of shown with your husband, sometimes it does not go the route that we expect, or the darkness is so deep you can't go there, and it takes this other route. And I want to acknowledge the pain of loving somebody through that and ultimately having to choose to leave. Like, there are so many women going through this right now, not not to the level that you went through, but like when you talk about like not being able to follow your body or your discernment, I feel like a lot of that comes because we just empathically care about these humans in our lives that are hurting.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I know. I thank you for that. I it got so bad that I no longer cared about what I was feeling or what was going on in me because every second mattered and I just wanted to save his life. You know? Um yes, like like you said, so many people are probably right now going through that. And yes it although it's a very selfless and beautiful thing to do, but I will never forget being I call it the blender, being in the blender because I this is a term that I use with my clients a lot. When you're in it, when you're so in it that you just it's so hard to see anything to it's you're just in it, and you're it's just survival mode. It's literally one minute at a time. You can't even think ahead or think behind. It's just one minute at a time, and and there's nothing to grab on to almost, and and completely in it. And one of my friends telling me, Carmina, you were not born to be a caretaker. And I I was like, what do you mean? In my mind, I was still like, no, he's gonna get better every single day. Every every single day, I would wake up thinking, today he's gonna sleep. Today, today is gonna be the day he's that he's gonna sleep and that he and he's gonna go back to being who he was, you know? And and I it just hit me that day. I was like, oh, okay, what she means is that this is gonna last.

SPEAKER_01

It's consuming my entire life.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I I no longer have anything outside of this role, this relationship, this marriage.

SPEAKER_04

And I'm not even gonna sit here and try to pretend like I was all tough or courageous or brave because I'm truly grateful that he asked me for a divorce. Because I sat one day, I I sat one day, one of the many days that I ran out of the house so he so there wouldn't be any violence, ran like sprinted out of the house because he was gonna chase me, and I just sat in like I lost him finally, and I sat on a rock and I looked up and I was talking to God, and I was just like, God, you know, I said in the altar that I would through sickness or health, and and this is who I chose, and this is who you chose for me, and I am giving myself over to you, and I am going to take care of this man, whatever it takes. So I was willing to give up everything at that point. I had zero clients, I had zero life, 24 hours a day was taking care of him so that he wouldn't kill himself.

SPEAKER_02

Wow.

SPEAKER_04

And so that he would sleep and taking him to the doctor, and like it was all consuming, and so I I was like, I surrender. I this is this is gonna be my life, and I'm very grateful that that he was like, I don't love you anymore, I don't even know who you are, I don't recognize you, I'm not in love with you. Why did I marry you? And I was like, it was very painful, but I was like, and we got a divorce because he asked me for it. I would have stayed to take care of this human, even though it probably meant violence.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I I am so grateful that you're sharing, Carmina, because you are in this story, there's just so many themes that I find I'm often sharing with my clients. Often they're on the other end of this of the st on the side, I think. Um because they're the one that's coming and asking for a divorce. But this this moment of like seeing how divorce is the right choice. Like in that moment, like what the two of you were doing was not working. It was getting worse and worse and worse.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I was gonna end up being abused.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. And this moment, like when he, even when you say him saying, like, I want a divorce, I like felt my body relax. And I often, or I see it a lot with my women is you know, their husbands in trying to do the work for a lot of them or just trying to make the marriage work and stay in it, start to go into a psychosis. Like they start changing their entire personalities or they start trying to be a different person, and you just start to see a lot of mental illness developing within marriages that are like overlong. Like we're we're not actually growing and building anymore that has passed, and now our brains are starting to feed and destroy each other. And I've often said, like, tried to reframe this seeing divorce as often one of the most compassionate decisions you can make when the alternative is we are facing like a full-blown exactly. Like you're gonna, you're spiraling into psychosis, I'm going to end up getting abused even worse. Like neither of us are thriving.

SPEAKER_04

No, absolutely not. I remember my because I'm one of the few in a very large, large Mexican family. We love to have kids, y'all. I don't I don't have kids, but Mexicans have a lot of kids. I'm generalizing, but I have a humongous family, and I'm one of the few out of like so many cousins that is divorced, and that really, really messed with me, you know, and and like I'm a failure in like all of these things.

SPEAKER_01

My mom all of the conditioning around, yeah, you stay married.

SPEAKER_04

The pain that I felt from calling my mom in one of those moments that I ran out fearing for my life, and calling her in desperation, and her telling me, fight for your marriage. I it's like I heard her say, go back and die.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, and and it this is the heart, Carmina. I am so thankful you're sharing this because this is the intersection right now of where I feel like we are waking up to these old messages of just marriage at all costs. You must stay married. And I see you now on this episode with me, and I'm like, oh my god, I am so glad you didn't.

SPEAKER_04

I'm so happy and I'm so free, and I'm so, so, so grateful. I'm so grateful we didn't have children. Yes, I'm so grateful I was liberated. I have this, the universe is wild. Um, so I have after me, he was with another lovely, lovely woman who we happened to live blocks from each other in a whole nother country in Mexico. Wow. She they lived together in Colorado, and we both ended up in Mexico City. Living blocks from each other, and we became dear friends because we shared so many stories, and we just held each other in our pain from being with the same person. They didn't end up getting married, but just seeing the pain that is rippling like after me and after like all the the women after I'm just so grateful, so so so so grateful. Yeah, and and yeah, it's it's I love that it's a blessing and a gift that I'm not there.

SPEAKER_01

Oh oh my god, thank thank god, and thank God that you had this is this is why I'm so proud of the work you do too. Like your friend had the voice to say to you, you were not made to be a caretaker. And thank God in that moment she said that to you because this is that when we talk about those soul knowings, those gifts, those paths, that thing that you were sent to the earth to bring about, that would have been lost, perhaps, if you had stayed there.

SPEAKER_04

Completely. He would have been my whole purpose in life, and not supporting women, and not healing voices, and not it would it would have been he would have been all of my attention, all of my everything. And I was born, I was born for a huge, huge, huge vision and mission. I have so much medicine, so much medicine to give.

SPEAKER_01

I have full-body chill. I am like, yes, on fire at you speaking that truth. And this is like the core of when you talk about your core piece, like this is my core piece of like women for generations have been sacrificing their gifts on the altars of marriage and supporting partners at the entire destruction and expense of themselves. And this waking up to it doesn't need to be that way any longer. And it doesn't work anyways. Like what you saw was you know, and and and I think that's that piece when we're in the marriage, because I know for myself too, when I was getting divorced, I saw my partner making those changes. And we we love often, we love our partners or we care for them, or we see their pain, we want them to be able to work through it, and we think if we stay and support them, they're maybe going to figure it out. But there is such a huge cost, a cost that we as women have not been taught to value.

SPEAKER_04

Totally. And it doesn't work for the world, for us, for the relationship, for anyone.

SPEAKER_01

No, no. And there is this big, I keep seeing it, this big wave of women moving, moving out of those spaces and opening to I can both have my journey and I can have supportive partnership. It doesn't have to be an either-or.

SPEAKER_04

I apologize for the coughing.

SPEAKER_00

I love it. Your your family's back home, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, my my dad, my dad is back.

SPEAKER_00

I love it. I love it.

SPEAKER_04

It's yeah, you know, speaking of my dad, we get into these discussions often about, you know, feminist movement and movements and like how, you know, the thought process back in the day and and how uh we're trying to evolve, but also it it feels like it'll never change or like everything's always going to be kind of geared toward patriarchy or making a a certain voice more important than the other. But I'm a possibilitarian and I will always believe that it's change is possible. I mean, Mexico has the first female president.

SPEAKER_01

Right. I have been so obsessed with her lately. Yeah. Like, ah, I love her. And I when I get into that space, because I hear, I hear that too, right? As I've learned more about how much, you know, this is not a new fight. This is this has been going for a long time. But I come back to the very like micro of my own life and your life, right? And women that I know, clients I've worked with, clients you've worked with, where I see how, oh, if it can happen in one person's life, and then we start cumulatively, right? You are living your life path. I did the hard steps of clearing out that programming, letting go of a marriage that ultimately would have meant the sacrifice of my life path. Same. I would have gone a very different route if I'd stayed married. And a part of me knew that. Like, I will give up this path if I stay. We then become these ripple effects that ripple out into the lives of those other women. And those women then ripple out into others.

SPEAKER_04

Completely, completely, you know, it's I I will never forget right before my wedding, there was all these emotions. Um, it was I think the day we were gonna leave to the desert, uh, we got married in Joshua Tree, and I sat with my dad and I was like, so he was my ex-husband was talking to me about a prenup.

SPEAKER_03

And I I sat with my dad and I was like, please inform me, please guide me, I don't know like what, and he and he has been blessed, even though he will say otherwise, but he's been blessed with three daughters and a very powerful mother, so he's surrounded by women, yeah, very opinionated, fiery, powerful women, and so my dad, although he comes from a uh a very traditional macho mentality, he has evolved into sitting me down that day and saying, Mika, there is a lot of energy that he didn't quite use the word energy.

SPEAKER_04

I forget what use what what uh word he used, but he said there's a lot of value that a woman brings that is not seen and is not compensated, and that you need to be careful with because what he's gonna want to sign on is just like you know, the the money that he's bringing into this relationship, but like he needs to recognize everything that you've brought that's underneath the table because we are muses, right? How many women have come in and completely picked up their partners? I've so many of my relationships have come in and all of a sudden they're like you know, doing their best work, creating their best life. Yeah, and then I'm and then I have forgotten about myself. And so no months. No month.

SPEAKER_03

We grow together, baby.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, yes, same, same. I have noticed that in myself that for a long time I had partners where I would be doing really well, get into a relationship, and then it was, it was like life became harder. I was struggling more, I was and just realizing, oh, yeah, there's a cost that comes when you're with partners who and we talked about this a little bit before, and I do want to hear your opinion on this because we were bringing up that like men right now are going through, it feels like the feminine is rising, and like like we're here, make the space, and we're seeing in at least I'm seeing in a lot of my clients, men that are like a good five to ten years behind the ball on this work. And even even being behind the ball, even on top of that, just under-resourced around how to connect in with their bodies and and heavily programmed to not do that. Right? Patriarchy is so disconnected from presence in the body sensation.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I do think that we need to have compassion for them and to it's tricky because I want to say empower them, but we've been empowering them.

SPEAKER_01

That's that's what I'm saying. It is. It's this moment, it's like this very it's that moment of you realizing you cannot do this work for him. And so it's no longer about empowering our partners or supporting them or helping them because I feel like that's the very thing that has kind of created this handicap now in the masculine of needing us to always be activating and pulling them through the work. And now sorry to interrupt.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, tell me, tell me. I I do believe that we can or I'll I'll come, I'll speak from myself. I can work on being more of an invitation than a fiery call forward. Let's just call it that.

SPEAKER_00

You know?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I I cannot say anything about this because my approach has been if you're I I finally just found a partner who calls himself forward. So that's the other option, right? Is my approach has been I need a partner who is grounded enough in himself for me to flourish.

SPEAKER_04

Completely. I it's a deal breaker for me. Like I will no longer date someone. I'm in love now, and I'm so, so, so grateful. This person is evolved, great communicator, powerful, healthy, masculine, all of the things, loves to see me shine, loves to fan my flames, loves it when I'm fiery, loves all the things. All the things.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So this is what I'm talking about. Like when somebody's not ready to evolve along with you, and you waiting or staying or supporting them or empowering or inviting them is leading to your journey coming to a screeching halt and your mental health, like the blender. That's what we're talking about. Living in a blender. It is safe to say this is complete, this is a divorce. We move on and we move into a space of trusting, kind of like you said earlier. I love when you said there are strong men out there who can hold space for strong women.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, absolutely, that get turned on by us shining and being fiery.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. And hell, there are strong women out there that can hold space for strong women. Like you're there, there is a partner out there for you that when you start deciding, like, I'm not gonna be small anymore to support someone else's growth, it's a leap, it's a risk, right? And I love that you it doesn't sound like you took that journey so that you could go find that person. That journey presented itself to you, and what you've really leaned into is your journey.

SPEAKER_04

Completely. Like this quote that I just keeps coming up as we're talking about this. It's our responsibility is to speak our truth, not to manage people's responses to our truth. That is not our responsibility. I speak my truth. What I work on is my delivery. That's the only thing I can work on. Oh, I love it. But I I'm gonna speak my truth, and that is our responsibility.

SPEAKER_00

I'm getting all this beautiful, like, when you're like, I can work on my delivery.

SPEAKER_01

I'm like, I could probably work on my delivery a little bit too. That fiery, just like come on now, side. So, yes, absolutely opening to the delivery, but I love so powerfully, like, it's about speaking your truth and letting go that other people are gonna respond and you don't have to manage.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, we're such managers. We're gonna ruffle feathers. Yeah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And we're gonna make people mad.

SPEAKER_03

Fuck it. Fuck it. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, because the alternative for many of us is living in the blender 24-7. That's what the majority of the women listening to my podcast, that's where they're at right now. They're in the blender, they're listening to someone begging them to stay when their body is telling them it's time to go. So, what would be some of your advice to those women in that space? I know you already gave that gorgeous one of like, look, you speak your truth.

SPEAKER_04

Well, anytime you you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself. I'm gonna repeat that. Anytime you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself. And so, especially to people that have children, they are looking up to an example of honesty, of bravery, of like this is we're building our future with our actions, right? And so it's it, it's so I understand it's so much easier said than done. It's not easy to walk away when there is so much that has been invested, yeah, and so much that's intermingled, right?

SPEAKER_01

So much that's tried together, the psychological weight from the family's expectations, the world, the way you thought your life was gonna be.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, yes. I've seen it with my sister, has gone through a lot, and I I've seen the psychological tying, manipulation, etc. But I will say that you will always be okay. You're a you're so powerful. I think we forget how powerful we are. We're so powerful beyond belief. When we don't even know how powerful we are, we find it. It just comes. And and the moments where we're like, I don't even know how I'm gonna do it, we do it. And yeah, the freedom that's on the other side of that is so delicious. What I'm experiencing right now is so delicious.

SPEAKER_03

Can we just vibe the fuck out about this? It's so, so, so, so delicious.

SPEAKER_04

Like beyond. The universe rewards bravery, rewards, yeah, rewards bravery. Yeah, not bravery to stay, bravery to go. That's the confusion, I think.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and well, and that's where you were at, right? You thought the brave thing, you thought because of the programming, you thought that what God was asking you to do was to stay.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

What was to hang in there, to honor the commitments that you had made. And where I've really landed is like you cannot honor a commitment to somebody else when you're not even being like committed to yourself first. And that's where we got it all mixed up as women. We have been programmed to prioritize a marriage over ourselves, and many of us enter marriages. Um, at least in my case, not so much yours. You were still pretty like developed and yourself, but a lot of women enter marriage not even knowing who they are yet. Many women get married young, they don't have a voice, they don't even know, they can't even speak their truth because they don't know their truth. So what a gift when you say that bravery. It is hella hard. It is fucking scary to pick that path, to go on that path, to accept that path when it's given to you, right? The universe is like, no, babe, it's divorce. But damn what deliciousness it is, as you said, to live every fucking day as you, now that you have done the path. When you choose bravery, what you get is you.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

And it's delicious. So uh what I'm living right now is so like night and day, night and day. And I truly believe I wouldn't be here if I wouldn't have been brave enough to leave.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. For you and me, the stories are definitely where our discernment, our bodies ultimately found so much more connection and ability to listen outside of a marriage. That's the other thing. It was just so hard to hear my body within my marriage. The blender was too loud. All the triggering, all the trauma, all the drama, and to live now away from that, where, you know, I I I kind of take it for granted, right? I'm like, oh my God, I get to live every day where, yeah, it's quiet enough in my home, in my environment with my partner that I hear my body really easily.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You know, it's a natural part of my life now instead of something I'm like once in a blue moon experiencing.

SPEAKER_04

I'm so glad you you brought us back to that because yes, I wanna I wanna kind of circle back to to summarizing the the lesson here, right? Or like the tools and and those are to have the daily the daily check-in, what are my current thoughts, what are my current emotions, and what are my current sensations, and continue to develop that every single day. In the beginning, the sensations, you're only gonna maybe recognize one or two sensations, like hot or cold, but then push yourself to recognize deeper sensations, right? Because then when when you're in the difficult situations, then you'll be able to hear your body when it's telling you leave, leave now. Yeah, no must, like no more. Because when your body's telling you no more, it's no more. Like that's it. Like I love it. There's no more time for for us to like allow our brain to come in and to try to convince us. No.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and often we're we're kind of overdue by the time it reaches that point.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's been telling us for a while. Oh, I am obsessed with you. I am just like, ah, I'm obsessed with you too. We are such just such a vibe together. I knew this was gonna be yummy. Um, I so before we close, I want to spend a little bit of time. You are gonna be doing a workshop in the community. Yes. Yes, I cannot wait. I cannot wait. Either. Um, this is one of the most like exciting pieces of having met you, was now getting to introduce you not only to everybody in the podcast, but for the women in the community, you're going to be leading them through a workshop. We I think we picked, what was it, May 16th? It's on a weekend. I think it's 18th. Yeah. It's coming up. Um, for those of you listening that have gotten to hear Carmina and that are wanting to be a part of that. Please go sign up with Alex, get your interview in so that you can be in the community by that time. Because I want as many of you listening as possible to get to be with her live. Y'all, I just got to spend all this time with you. And it's like a full, it's that transmission, it's that magic that you have of sending those colors and that energy. Like it's been such a beautiful body experience for me. And I'm so like obsessedly excited for you to be in the workshop. I'm gonna be on the call and to get to be guided by you with the rest of the women into whatever the magic is that you're going to bring. So thank you.

SPEAKER_04

Thank you. I just I truly live for this. I really want every woman to feel powerful and brave enough to speak their truth and to take action on their truth.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, absolutely. And then I want you to tell, especially even for me, because now I'm like, all I need more of you. Tell us about, I was looking on your website. You have a retreat coming up in October, right? The dates were October. October 30th to November 2nd of this year. Where?

SPEAKER_04

In the most beautiful small town in Mexico called San Miguel de Allende. It's called the most beautiful small town in the world by Condenast and Forbes. It's truly, truly stunning. It's a magical town, very mystical, and it has great energy. And it's gonna be a powerful five days. There's already incredible women signed up. And we're gonna dive in. We're gonna peel back the layers, heal everything that's been blocking our voice, everything that's been having us dim our light, all of the trauma that's connected to our voice, because I don't think we realize, but every single trauma we've ever experienced has been locked into our voice. And so we create these blocks in our voice canal. And so we're gonna remove all of those so that when you leave there, full life transformation, complete, complete liberation, complete liberation. Yes, it's so powerful and healing and beautiful. It's really powerful.

SPEAKER_01

So is that one a women-only retreat or is it co-ed? Uh, it's a woman only space.

SPEAKER_02

That's really, really beautiful.

SPEAKER_01

Uh, I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_04

Um, the female, the female voice has been suppressed long enough.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely. That goes back to so many of the things we were talking about, right? Like, this is our time. Like, okay, boys, but we're we're doing this. This is what we're doing.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

I also want you to tell us a little bit about because I know a lot of my women, you know, may not be able to make it down there, but you have an amazing online program as well that's starting. Tell us about this. You said it's June 17th to July 15th of this year.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, so that one is online. It's five weeks. It's like a boot camp where we go deep and we we break through some of the trauma as well, but that's more of a boot camp where every single day we have a group, I mean, every single week we have a group call that I facilitate. And in that group call, I give prompts and you're in the possibility seat. You respond to the prompt, you receive feedback from the rest of the women. It's women only. And so by the end of the five weeks, you feel more confidence in your voice. You're you're building your confidence for public speakers, for women that have been wanting to put themselves on video, but didn't feel the courage and feel like super nervous to get on stage or on camera. And because I want every single woman to be seen and heard. And so, no more excuses. And that that training will definitely get you prepared for that. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_01

Cause I know I've got a lot of women that have their own businesses that are wanting to start their own businesses. That's the other thing I'm noticing is like all these women are contemplating leaving their marriages and like want to go have like some big thing that they're wanting to start.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm like, yes, let's go. Let's fucking go.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, yes, yes, let's go. Yeah. It's it's a really beautiful space. It's really healing as well.

SPEAKER_01

Well, Annie, I just feel so excited to be exposing you to my audience, to be giving them an opportunity to also enter into these other spaces with you because you are pure magic. Oh, darling. What a gift to on this podcast for you to share what it took for us to get to have this moment with you. Like, thank you so much for being a living example of exactly what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_04

Thank you. That means a lot. I receive, I receive every word. Thank you. And I'm here to serve. And so come all, come one, come all. Let's let's free each other's voices.

SPEAKER_03

I'm so excited. Thank you, darling, for having me.

SPEAKER_01

So beautiful, Carmina. Thank you. Can't wait to see you in the community on the workshop, y'all. Hopefully, we will see many of you there. Till next time.