Welcome to the Stay Or Go podcast, where we're changing the dialogue around divorce so that no woman ever stays in her marriage out of fear. Get ready to dispel myths, learn life-changing tools, and build a solid foundation in yourself from which to make your decision. And now your host, me, Britta Joe. Alright, y'all. Get ready to rock and roll in this episode. Because it just showed up this morning. I was thinking through some stuff in my own life, and I love when episodes come to me in this way because it's like they're just knocking at the door ready to get out. And uh recording them is just like this beautiful roller coaster kind of experience. So here we go. So as you can tell from the title, uh today we're gonna be talking about the hidden costs of staying married. And yes, there are definitely costs to getting divorced. So some of those costs would be I'm gonna be alone, um, we're worried that we're gonna have our kids hate us, we're worried about having to provide for ourselves, we're worried about struggling financially, maybe being judged by our friends and family. And all of those are valid. Okay. So I'm not saying there aren't any costs when you get divorced as well. But here's the sticky thing that your brain often does. It is so worried about all of these things that could happen, might happen with divorce, that it completely overlooks the shit that really is happening right now. Like guaranteed, there are negatives that you are getting from staying in your marriage, especially if it's pretty clear to yourself that you want to go, but your mind might be so entranced with all the things you're afraid of that haven't happened yet, and you've gotten so comfortable with the negatives that already are that you're undervaluing them. So, this episode is here to illuminate the costs of staying that you might just be overlooking. Now, where this episode came from, and what I want to start with, is sharing a recent experience I had that really brought home for me this idea of there being costs to how we choose to use our energy. So we are in this human form, we are finite beings. You know, I only have so much um attention and energy that I can give each day. There's a finite amount of it. I get to choose how I want to use it, I get to allocate where those resources go. Now, I'm gonna jump into this experience because I think it'll help illuminate, you know me, y'all know me. I love sharing actual things happening in my day-to-day, either, you know, from clients or from what I'm experiencing, because I think it paints a more powerful picture than just kind of telling you about it. So as I'm talking about this experience though, I want you to also be watching it through the lens of your relationship with your current spouse. So I'm gonna be talking about an ex-partner, but a lot of the patterns that I was seeing in this recent interaction are absolutely things that were also happening in my marriage back when I was married, that I see in my clients' marriages. Even though I'm not talking about someone I'm married to, it has the same flavor, y'all. So notice if it resonates for you in your own marriage. Okay, so to set the scene, this was a partner I had dated previously, and the way things ended between us was very rocky. And y'all know me. I love, if you have followed my journey at all, one of my all-time like favorite experiences in life is to date someone, love them, grow with them, and at the ending, even if we're ultimately not continuing together, there's a breakup happening, to get to have that breakup be supportive for both of us, to have there be this like celebration of what was and this grieving of what's being lost while also acknowledging it is what it is. It's a very, I feel like it's a very emotionally adult way of handling breakups where we don't have to destroy each other, we don't have to hate each other, we don't have to make this super awfully painful. Is there still pain? Yes, because typically you still love that person, there's still feelings there, but we're able to move through it together. And I will offer this takes, you know, individuals who can really hold space for themselves and me as well. It's it's a unique thing to do, and I'm very proud to say that I have done it with multiple partners over my past years of dating. But with this particular partner, that had not been the case. Our breakup was really, really volatile. It was really, really painful. And ultimately, because of how volatile it was at the ending, I made a personal decision for me that was very healthy for me at the time to block this individual and to not have contact with them. And I'm so glad I did. I needed that space. I, as lovely as it is to have a partner that you can process through some of this together with, that is not always the case. And in this instance, I knew that wasn't the case. And I knew that he needed to go do his own work, be supported by other people, and I needed to do my healing and grieving on my own as well. So, fast forward to a couple weeks ago, I was doing some really beautiful, you know, I mean, with this eclipse. Guys, I just watched the eclipse, by the way.
SPEAKER_01It was so amazing. So amazing.
SPEAKER_00Here, it got so much darker than I could have dreamed it would. Um, and it was just absolute magic, especially too as I had been kind of um, you know, coming back to what I was talking about, I'd been doing this deeper work in the last month or so of opening to past painful patterns I've had in my life in relationships and karmically releasing those and hopefully healing those with people. So, for instance, it was so wild, like maybe two or three weeks ago, maybe three weeks ago, as some of you will know from my first episode or my second episode, I talk about a good friend of mine named Kelly who for the last two and a half years, we have not spoken. We had a really intense breakup in our friendship two and a half years ago, and haven't seen her, haven't talked to her since. And y'all, like three weeks ago at pickup for our middle schoolers, she stopped and waved and said hi to me. And um, because I was in this space of wanting to open and like release these karmic wounds, I ended up texting her and we went out to coffee, and it was amazing and so unexpectedly healing and just an incredible example to me of how when people are doing their own work on the other end, you know, you're doing your own growth, they're doing their own growth. With time and space, sometimes you really can reconnect later on and it be beautiful and healing, which it was. So I'm coming off of this incredible high, right? With this beautiful friend of mine that I'd lost, that we're now reconnecting. And I'm like, okay, you know, wouldn't that be amazing to do that also with this past partner of mine, feeling really unsettled karmically with him and just hoping that maybe enough time had passed that we could find some kind of, you know, resolution, some kind of admitting my part. I really wanted to own my part more fully because I had blocked him so quickly and cut off communication because it was so volatile. And I've learned a lot about myself over the last year, right? Learning I had CPTSD, wanting to be able to say to him, like, here's what was happening. I was super triggered and I have having all these emotional flashbacks, and I didn't know how to be there for myself or you, and just kind of acknowledging like the messy humanness of it all. So I really was hoping that that would be the conversation and the space that we might be able to create together. So I'd reached out and we hadn't really been able to talk in the way I'd wanted. I kind of wanted to see each other in person. So I'd been leaving the space open for about two weeks now that I'd let this container, right? This is what I would call it's like a I'd opened a container of like there might be a possibility of healing here. But over the weekend, um, it became really, really clear that what this person wants right now, even if he doesn't know it consciously but subconsciously, he wants to keep his stories of pain and victimhood. And I could feel over the weekend, I'd gone out with some friends, and while I was out with them, he had started barraging me with these texts. And I, it was a beautiful moment of realizing, like, whoa, I've been holding space for this person's anger for their sadness for about two weeks now. But this is a different level. This is someone who's just really, really hurt and really angry and wants somebody else to hurt as well. And I could see how being as open and empathic as I am, I was taking on parts of his pain and not in a healthy, like, we're moving through this, we're processing kind of way, in a like, this person just wants to beat someone else up emotionally. And um, me just sitting here, kind of being their punching bag, is wearing on me. And it was a moment where I realized, okay, I think we're done holding this space. It's it's starting to wear on me. It was this kind of like raising of my standards around I don't deserve to be treated this way, and ultimately being treated this way is not supportive for me, and it's not helping the people I love because here I am out with my friends, and I'm unable to give them my full presence, my full love, my full attention because I'm getting sucked down into this drama and trauma with this other person. Yes, I know you came to this person hoping for resolution, hoping to also like help them heal some, but it doesn't seem to be that case anymore. What is the cost right now? And I was shocked to see that to realize that someone I had really deeply loved reached out for help from me while I was going through all of this. And because I was having to do all of this extra work around all of this shit that this person's throwing at me, right? Which granted, I walked into that space, I asked for it, and uh, and I take that back. I wouldn't say I asked for that, I asked for openness and vulnerability. That is very different than someone just hurling their pain at you. And and this is so important. I'm hoping a lot of you are getting this because this is the trap of being deeply empathic. And by the way, in this dynamic with the sex partner, I could see so clearly and strongly the patterns of narcissistic abuse and codependent uh caretaking happening again, right? I um I think the what really drew the line and what made me realize that that's what was happening is that in narcissistic abuse, there is no I'm expressing and I'm ventilating and I'm sharing this with you, and together we're coming into more understanding and we're moving through it together. It was just, I want to basically beat the shit out of you emotionally, and no matter what you say or do, I'm still gonna be mad. And thankfully, you know, the one really healing part to all of this for me, which is why I believe this whole experience happened. I realized now it wasn't so much about him, it was about my own journey with realizing oh, some part of me from my childhood is drawn to this cycle, to this cycle of you're mad at me, I'm not good enough, I need to do whatever I can to make you happy, even if that means sitting here and letting you emotionally beat up on me over and over again. And in the past, I would have kept trying like a like a rat in a maze, kept trying all the different exits. Okay, well, what if I say this? Well, what if I do this? Well, what if I give you this? And this time around, I realized, oh, there's no exit. There is no escape. And I could watch it. I could say something to him and he'd get mad. I could say the exact opposite, like I could agree with him and he'd get mad. He would ask me a question and I'd go to answer it and he'd be like, stop talking. So it was like, oh my god, like literally nothing I can do will make you happy. And in realizing that, it gave me some beautiful sense of freedom because it was like, oh, this is a game I can't win. I'm done playing this game. And some part of me over the last, you know, months, nine months to a year of going through all of this and you know, letting that relationship end, has still believed that I could win that game. And this was kind of the final piece of realizing, oh, this is a game you can never win. It's built to keep you playing and playing and playing and never winning. And this was a hundred percent where I was at right as I was uh right before I decided to get divorced. It was realizing there is no resolution happening with my partner. When we get into fights, when we get into conflict, there is no like feeling truly understood, feeling truly seen, feeling like I see them, they see me. We can both acknowledge our pain and we can come closer because of it. It was just always more um, more painful, just more pain, more trauma being added to the situation. So it was the same thing too then of realizing I cannot fix this, change this. This person has this story, that's who they who they want to see me as, and it's no longer my job to try and change their story about me, but they get to keep that, and instead, I'm gonna step out of the game. I'm not gonna play anymore. And what did it for me was realizing there was a big cost, which was that in taking all of that shit from him and being will, you know, and in continuing to let him have access to my energy, to my mind, to my space, I then had to go process all of that out of my system. And because I was busy processing all that, when somebody that I do really love, that has really shown up for me, that is really an important person in my life needed me most, I couldn't be there for them. And and this is where later on, when I talk to you about the four things that I think are some of the biggest costs you're paying by staying in your marriage, this is gonna be one of them because that is a big no. When someone else's drama and pain and them not doing their own work results in and me, right? I mean, it's also okay, so me also owning, I'm holding space for this person. I stepped back in to hold space for this person. So when your drama and pain and suffering and you not doing your own work is leading to taking up my time and energy and taking it away from the people that I love the most and from opportunities to be having experiences, to be spending my energy in spaces that are reciprocal and uplifting and healing for me and the people I'm in those spaces with. That is not a match. And all you empaths and bleeding hearts out there, like I see you, I see you and I get you, babes. And it is time to realize that it is not kind or good or generous to give something that is as precious as your attention, your energy, and your time to someone who does not respect or value it. And you'll know because it will feel like this maze. It will feel like this parasitic I can't do anything right. It's a game you can never win. And if you know anything about narcissistic, you know, codependent dynamics, that is the hallmark of those relationships. Healthy, secure relationships, there's a level of mutuality. Okay, that's where like we can both stand on equal footing, look each other, you know, eye to eye, and see each other and meet each other with respect and mutuality. That is not the case with a narcissist. A narcissist always needs a power over dynamic where either you've and what you'll see the most in these kind of dynamics is them creating a scenario where you have victimized them. You are the villain, you are the one that doesn't care, you're the heartless bitch, you're the I mean, y'all, this person's story about me was really, really terrible. And the other really sad aspect of continuing to let somebody like this stay in your energy and continue to feed you these stories is they get to you. They can totally start to warp and twist your own idea of who you are. And I'm so grateful that I I saw this and felt it, the shift in me the other day of like, no, no, no. Guys, I have not had narcissistic abuse in my life in like a good solid. I mean, beyond this ex-partner, I do not experience narcissistic abuse. And having come from you know childhood where that was the norm, and then a marriage where that was definitely happening as well, I live without that for the like the majority of my life. I have friends who love me and see me and are not feeding off of my energy. So to go back to that uh was a great, just another like cutting of cords, clearing up of I used to be okay with this, and no, we don't tolerate that anymore. I wish you well, and I'm going to move on with my own journey. It was this beautiful, like fuck yeah, acknowledgement and leaning into I deserve to have a secure attachment relationship in my life. And I deserve to only have people in my life that really love and respect and know who I am. People that have shitty stories about me where they need me to be a villain so that they don't have to look at their own pain, they don't get my time, and they don't get my energy. I have compassion for that. As all all of you that are listening, that are are my empaths. I want people to find peace, I want people to find love, I want them to heal from their childhood trauma. But as I've said before, that is not for me to decide. And although I'm really I am proud that I followed my intuition to reach back out to this person, what I'm most proud of is that at the completion of this, you know, opening of that container, I am thoroughly karmically done with this person in my life. So my point in showing it was this like big aha moment of there is A cost to welcoming people into my life and being very intentional with who gets to have access to that or not. And of course, the cost for me in this instance was energy that I spent on him, time that I couldn't give to other people that I love more, presents that I couldn't give to other people. And by saying I love them more, that's kind of a tricky idea because I deeply love the sex partner and I really do want him to be happy. But I'm talking about like real love. Okay? This is not like narcissistic, codependent kind of love where we really love someone and we really hope they'll change. I'm talking about the love where you have people in your life that genuinely, it's that like I respect you, you respect me, I see you for you, you see you for me, and we can let each other be in this space of mutuality. So I want to come back and I want to talk about those four areas that you might not be paying attention to while you are considering divorce that there are costs in that you might be overlooking that I want to share with you. The first one, and what I think is super uh what I was trying to show you in this story is your energy. So a cost that you might be undervaluing while you're staying in your marriage is your energy. Because energy that you are allowing to flow to your marriage, to your partner, to the fights, to the drama, that is energy that you could be spending elsewhere with people who truly love you and could benefit from your attention. So I remember when I was married, so much of my ex-husband's and my time was spent fighting or avoiding each other. It was just a huge kind of drag on the family, and our kids spent a lot of time just in front of the TV because I didn't have much more to give. After doing all of the work on the marriage, after going through all of the fighting, we were usually both pretty drained. And that's energy that you I mean, I think your life force, so many of us as women have had it conscripted into other things from birth, right? Like being the perfect daughter, being the perfect mother, being the perfect employee, or when I was in religion, you know, doing all the things for my church, that we really forget that that energy is yours. That is your birthright. However many breaths you get to take, however many steps are your allotment of steps in this life, they belong to you, no one else. And many of us just give our energy here, there, everywhere without going, is this really what fills me? Is this really what I want to be doing? And that leads me to the second, the second area that you may be having a cost that you're not valuing in, which is lost opportunities. So oof. Um I'm thinking of a client I met today who yeah, has stayed in her marriage for probably like 11 years, past what she wanted. And feeling like, uh, just feel it in my bones, this deep, not defensiveness, but like protectiveness. There we go. That's the right word. This protectiveness of her as she's come to me and said, Look, I really do think I want to leave, and I haven't left for like 11 years. This protectiveness of her right to get to have the opportunities she wants most in life, to get to have the life she dreams of. And what I mean is like when you stay, you miss out on people that you could have met, adventures you could have had, businesses you could have built in that time where you are staying and often doing exactly what I was doing with a sex partner, right? Trying to give someone the benefit of a doubt, trying to not hurt somebody else's feelings, trying to let him figure his shit out. And while he's doing that, you are letting go energy and time that you could be spending living the life you wanted. And for this particular woman I'm thinking of, you know, what she wants the most, what her sole theme, one of her sole themes is, is being deeply loved and seen and known by another human on this planet. And staying in her marriage in a lot of ways has cost her that because so much of her energy and her time has been spent there. And if we take that even further, like I know some of you, you know, might be having affairs, so you're like, oh, well, I like I I am getting to some extent get to have this person, but that's not truly what you want. Like, you want to build a life with this person without all of that extra baggage. And I have plenty of clients who I coach that are in affairs, and you know there's a whole bunch of other thoughts and processing and all of this, like, right? The shit, the shit that comes with all of that experience and trying to do that while you're still married, um, which I haven't done an episode yet on affairs, and I will, but I want to make it clear here, I am so neutral, if not positive, about affairs. So don't think in me saying this that I'm at all saying you shouldn't have affairs. I think affairs are incredible information that can be really, really helpful around, like, okay, what am I actually wanting? How am I unhappy? Look, there's somebody out there that I can actually have this with. So they're they're really magical in a lot of ways. But they're also, for any of you going through them, you know there's they're heavy. They can be really hard and really intense as you deal with all of your thoughts around it. So that's a lost opportunity, is getting to build a relationship with someone in a space where you're not also having to deal with guilt and fear around everything with your marriage going on simultaneously. The third one that I want to talk about is and this is gonna tie back into that. Like, you you only have so much energy, is that one of the costs can be that you never get to fully be who you could truly be without the weight of the emotional and mental abuse weighing you down. So let that sink in. That is a tremendous cost, y'all. I'm talking you staying in a marriage that is not a fit for you could end up costing you becoming the person you most wanted to be through this life path of yours. And for me, that has without a doubt been my experience. I wish, I wish I could interview myself from five or six years ago before I got divorced. Y'all would be shooketh. I think I would be too at how different I am now. I am so much more fully expressed in my body, um, proud of myself, so many more aspects of myself that I know uh deeply like available for and present in my life, excited for just I just can't even, the words can't even express it, but I think you guys can feel it. I am a totally different, like 180 of a person from who I was six or seven years ago. And I would say like the core of me was always there, but it was so hidden and repressed because it was never safe to be that person. Fast forward four and a half years post-divorce now. Oh my god, y'all, I'm a firecracker. Do you hear me? I am, I am like my friend Quinn always calls me the son. Like, I am this big, bold, vibrant me because I've been able to spend the last four and a half years of my life flourishing in an environment where I get to say, do, be, whatever I want without someone constantly berating, judging, or shaming me for it. So staying in an environment where that is the case, there's a cost. And that is the cost of never getting to really flourish because you're so weighed down all the time by the emotional, mental, and I know for some of you, physical abuse. And I want you to think of that as like it's like a flower. You know what I mean? If you stick a flower in a dark closet, there's gonna be an effect. It is not gonna grow the same way it would as you putting it outside with sunshine and rain. Me leaving my marriage was leaving the dark closet. Me leaving Mormonism was leaving the dark closet. Me leaving an abusive narcissistic mother in that relationship with her was leaving the dark closet. And guess what, y'all? The other thing that I am so proud of is through that I have seen what a different mother I am now. There is a cost to emotional and mental abuse happening daily. I was a very dissociated, emotionally flashbacked, uh, depressed mother when I was in the throes of my marriage, you know, right before I was getting divorced. I was, I wouldn't say right before because I'd gone through therapy, but two and a half years before that, when I started therapy, oh my gosh, was so angry, so emotionally distant from my children, so reactive, so volatile. And I share this because so many of you come to me and have so much shame about the mothers you are right now. And I'm like, yeah, of course you're this way. I would be too if I was constantly being neglected emotionally and being expected to have sex when I have no emotional connection with my partner and being constantly shamed and guilted into doing stuff I don't want to do. So the point is, we have no idea who you could be outside of that marriage. So ergo staying, that's a cost. The cost is you not getting to be that potential person. And then finally, number four, this is gonna tie in beautifully with me talking about how I'm a different mother now. The cost of staying is that you are giving your children this marriage as a blueprint. Your current marriage is their blueprint, and I am gonna say bullshit to all y'all if your thoughts go to this thing of like, well, but I tell them that he shouldn't want this, and no, no, no. Words do not speak nearly as loud as our actions. Like, take a second. This is the you and the marriage you are in right now, this is what you are passing on to them. This is the legacy you are giving them because what they see day in, day out is what they are going to have in their unconscious brains, and it is what they will subconsciously seek out in future partners. They energetically learn from the examples that we are setting in our daily interactions in our marriages what is okay and what isn't. So my children have thrived in the situation that me and my ex-husband have. And granted, we are very intentional about that. And I am very, I mean, it's pure luck because I did not know who I was marrying when I married him, but I'm very lucky that I do have a partner who is, although he had narcissistic traits for sure in our marriage, he does not have full-blown narcissistic personality disorder. I would almost somebody was telling me yesterday about narcissistic wounding versus actually being able to be diagnosed narcissistically, which is when you are like completely devoid of empathy. And I realized he probably just has more narcissistic wounding. And because of that, us, but but even let me just say, even if he had been a full-blown narcissist, I still absolutely believe that getting divorced from him would have been the best thing. Because staying married to him was a shit show. I could not function nor be the mother that I am now in that environment. That flower could not thrive. And if, you know, let's take it even further. Let's take that analogy to like a tree. That tree could not grow. Now that tree has grown and it can actually provide for my children. It can provide shade, it can provide fruit because I have enough self-love in me, enough of being able to heal away from that abuse that was in my marriage, that who I am now, like I said previously, looks nothing like the mother that I was. And I am really, really proud that my children do not have that blueprint. And what allowed me to do that was understanding that cost. I did. Some part of me knew when I got divorced that I did not want this marriage for my children. Ultimately, what I want most from the episode, and why I shared all of this with you guys, is to say there is a cost to staying. And I want to emphasize it because our brains are so good at worrying and stressing and seeing the cost of leaving, but rarely do we sit and really realize the cost that we are paying in staying. And I've given you four, you know, different things here that I think are costs, but I encourage you to take some time and sit with yourself and really check in with like what is the price I'm paying by staying? What are some of the opportunities or experiences that I'm missing out on? I think of another client of mine, and I'll leave you guys with the story. Who, you know, in her specific relationship, she is still married to her second husband, and she had a couple boys from her first marriage. And we recently were coaching together, and she was kind of expressing some regret and sadness that they're leaving to college. And a lot of their years growing up in this dynamic of this second marriage, there has been huge amounts of conflict with their stepdad. And um yeah, listening to her, I thought, oh, those are the things we just don't think about in the moment, right? We don't think about, oh, in staying married to this person and there being so much conflict in our family life, I'm not able to drop in and be with these boys and be present with them and love on them and really give them the attention they need because I'm dealing with all this other stuff. So I I hope that this episode allows those of you listening to go, oof, wait a second here. Because sometimes we just haven't really calculated the costs just yet of what we're paying to stay. And of course, you know, if you come away from this episode going, oh my God, I think the cost is too much. I can feel it in my bones. This is not what I want for my children. This is not what I want for myself, then I really recommend getting help because I have so much compassion and respect for what the what the journey of considering divorce is like, right? I I know that if you had been able to leave, you probably already would have. So there are things that are blocking you, and that is okay. And there is no shame in being able to say, I need help. I can't figure this out on my own. Whether that's working with me, whether that is working with another coach, whether that's getting a therapist, whether that's reading a book, you know, one of the books I've recommended, whatever that next step is, I encourage you to take it. Because the beautiful thing about when we realize there's a cost is that's the moment when we can go no more. That's what it was for me the other day, y'all. I realized, oh, yes, I came in wanting to help this person. Yes, I had all these good intentions, and now I'm seeing the cost is too great, and I'm done. I respect my energy, I respect my time, and I respect the people in my life that love me and are really there for me, and they're the ones that deserve my best. And if allowing this person to stay in my life means I can't give them my best, that's a no. All right, y'all. Lots of beautiful things to talk about uh today. I want to remind you all again, I just started doing some of the coaching intensives, and it is so beautiful getting to meet so many of you that are listening to the podcast and finding me through the podcast. And it brings me a lot of joy to get to hear that we are to, you know, hanging out on your walks or during your drives or while you're doing your dishes. And so to just encourage you, if you know, coaching with me for three months is not an option for you, really considering doing one of my 90-minute coaching intensives. It's an awesome opportunity to get to have my brain focused on your brain for that space of time. And I just I'm trying to find the words for it. I'm I'm pure magic. I'm gonna just fucking own it, y'all. I have an absolute gift for seeing women in these situations and being able to just pick out those patterns to see where your blocks are, to see what the next steps are, and to be able to give you resources to go more deeply in. So if you're like, I don't know what book to read, I don't know who to go listen to next or what work to be doing, those 90-minute intensives are amazing for that because I probably do. I have a wealth of knowledge and resources that I pull from and at the end of that session send over to whoever I'm working with as kind of like, here are next steps, here are the next things that I would recommend leaning into and using in your journey. I love having this new option for those of you that can't do the three months because it still allows you to kind of take your own personal journey. I also wanted to remind you all, not remind you all, but just kind of like get excited uh because this course that I've been working on forever is getting closer. And I'm hoping within the next couple of months to be dropping it. And I love that because I think that will provide kind of almost like a mid-range option as well for so many of you where okay, maybe maybe the 90 minutes isn't enough, um, but the three months is too much. It's like Goldilocks. Uh, the course may be just right for you. So that'll be coming. I'll let you all know when it does. And most of all, just to all of you listening, like, just know that I fucking love and adore you. I do. And I want you to have lives that you love and lives where you are loved and seen deeply. So here's to that, y'all. Till next week.