Treat Your Business

162 Why I’ve Stopped Setting Goals the Way Everyone Else Does

• Katie Bell • Season 1 • Episode 162

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Welcome

Hello everybody, welcome back to the Treat Your Business podcast. If you’re listening on or around 31st December, you might be feeling a mix of relief, gratitude, and that quiet pressure about what’s next. This episode is intentionally gentle. It’s not about big aggressive goals, hustling into the new year, or adding more to your already full plate. Instead, it’s about reflection, perspective, and choosing how you want your life to feel, not just what you want to achieve.

Episode Summary

In this episode, I’m sharing the end of year framework I use with my clients (and for myself) to reset without judgement. We start by looking back with evidence, because when you’re tired your brain will tell you you haven’t done enough. Then we look at the cost of the year, because exhaustion is not a personal failing, it’s information.

Key Takeaways

  • Pause before you plan. Reflection is essential if you want next year to feel different.
  • Look back with evidence: use your calendar, photos, and journal to remember what you actually did.
  • Notice the cost: where did your energy go, what drained you, and what nourished you?
  • Score your life areas out of 10 to spot what needs attention in the year ahead.
  • Most goal setting starts with Have (results), but sustainable change starts with Be (who you are becoming).
  • Ask “how do I want to feel?” first, then let your actions and goals follow.
  • Choose a word of the year as a simple filter for decisions and boundaries.

Resources & Links

Sponsors:

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Why I’ve Stopped Setting Goals the Way Everyone Else Does

[00:00:00] Katie Bell: Hello everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. If you're listening to this on or around the 31st of December, then the chances are you're probably feeling a mix of things. Maybe for some of you it's relief that the year is ending gratitude for what you've got through and maybe just quietly a bit of pressure about what's next that any day now, probably for most of you from the fifth of January, the treadmill starts.

[00:00:29] The hamster wheel starts to spin, and it can come with a mixture of feelings at this time of year. For some of us, it's a feeling of, oh, dread that I've gotta start, jump on the bandwagon again. And it's just gonna feel like that kind of never ending cycle of patience, of admin, of business development, of things that you should be doing, that you ought to be doing and just generally feeling like you're trying to just keep up with everything in your life.

[00:00:56] For some of those, it's a real great time of resetting, reflecting on the year that has gone. And whether you are somebody that likes to set goals in 2026, or whether you are somebody that actually is really against all that goal setting stuff, this episode is gonna be intentionally gentle for you.

[00:01:13] And it's not about setting big aggressive goals. It's not about hustling it into the new year, and it's definitely not about adding more to your already full plate. Instead, it's gonna be about reflection. It's gonna be about perspective and choosing how you want your life to feel, not just what you want to achieve. So especially as you all are clinic owners, business owners, busy moms and dads, someone who's given themselves a lot of things to do and to achieve. At home and at work this last year, and I'd love you to think of this episode as a bit of a pause. It's something, again, a little bit different.

[00:01:58] A kind of breath, an opportunity to reset without any judgment whatsoever. So let's dive in.

[00:02:06] Welcome to the Treat Your Business podcast, the show for clinic owners who want real, honest advice and tried and tested ways of doing things. I'm Katie Bell, and this is the new era of bigger insights and bolder conversations to help you grow a clinic and a life you love. Let's dive in.

[00:02:24] Now before we talk about goals, we need to talk about the pause, and most people move straight from literally surviving December into planning January without ever really stopping, and we just jump from.

[00:02:40] Let's just get through Christmas. Let's just get through Elf on the Shelf for 24 days of the of December to, okay, Christmas comes, goes. You're busy, you're traveling, you've got family. Your house is absolute carnage. There's presents everywhere. There's booze everywhere. There's mi leftover, mince pies everywhere.

[00:02:56] There's so much chocolate in the cupboards. You dunno what to do with. And we just go straight into, okay, I need to now reset and think about, oh my God, I'm going back to work soon. And we back without really acknowledging. What 2025 has done for us, what we've actually lived through, and for clinic owners this is more than just people that you've seen.

[00:03:19] It's a responsibility for staff. It's conversations that you've had to. Perhaps move people on, bring people into your team. It's the emotional load from patients that has been given to you. It's the financial pressure that you have been under in the last year. It's the constant decision making and decision fatigue.

[00:03:39] And then on top of that. Family life, parenting relationships, trying to be an actual functioning human. Trying to practice what you preach and do your red light therapy and your breath work, and your meditation, and your journaling and your gratitude list, and getting on the treadmill and putting a face mask on, buffing your feet and doing all these things that we are meant to be doing, to function and succeed as a human being.

[00:04:02] So before you plan anything. I wanted to invite you to pause, not to judge the year, not to label it as a good year or a bad year, but just simply to notice what has gone on for you. Reflection isn't like indulgent. It's really essential because otherwise, for many of us, we just go through the same habits, the same actions, the same decisions, and we expect the year ahead to finish.

[00:04:29] In a different way for it to feel different. And that is insanity as we know. So when we don't pause, we just carry kind of those feelings that exhaustion straight into the next year. So I'm gonna go through a bit of a framework that I like to do around this time of year. I'm actually going to do mine on the 30th of December.

[00:04:50] And so if you're listening to this on the 31st know that I have gone through this framework that I'm gonna teach you on today's episode just to help you I guess put some structure to a lot of my clients just say to me, just Katie just tell us exactly what we need to do and then I'll just do it.

[00:05:06] I don't wanna have to think for myself. I don't wanna have to figure out how I need to be doing this at this time of year. So the first thing that we always do is look back with evidence. And this is the method that I use every year, especially because at this time of year you are tired. Your brain wants to tell you that you haven't done enough, that you don't really know what your year has been about.

[00:05:28] So here's the things that I do. I open my calendar, I open the photos on my phone and I literally go through, or it could be your journal as well, month by month. And from January to December and I basically just write down all of the things that I have forgotten that I've actually done. Throughout the year.

[00:05:48] I ask myself, what did I do? So I'm looking at my pictures of things that I've got evidence for. I'm looking at my calendar as to, things that've been booked into my calendar personally and professionally, which then prompts me to remember the enormous amount of stuff that we have actually achieved, that I have actually achieved.

[00:06:06] What did I lead? What did I create? What did I manage? What did I navigate? What mattered that month, even if it didn't actually look that impressive? And it often then just prompts you to be able to list a whole ream of things that you will have forgotten about. And I write it all down. You can do it month by month.

[00:06:25] You can just write a whole list for 365 days of the year. It doesn't have to just be highlights, not doesn't have to just be the wins, but it's the reality. We're many of you this kind of gap and. Your clinic perhaps being I guess shorter opening times, or you are trying to do a little bit less, you're trying to have some space from your clinic because we're exhausted emotionally and physically.

[00:06:53] For many of you, we don't actually remember accurately and emotional memory tells us, ah. I can't remember what I've done. I feel like I've not done anything. I should have done more. I didn't get enough done. I'm behind. Everybody else will have achieved loads more. I'm looking at social media, everybody else's highlight reel.

[00:07:11] And it can put us in the wrong energy to reset for 2026 or for the year ahead. So evidence tells often a very different story. For those of you who are red, if you are a red color, if you know your colors listening to this, you, I'm sure you will do. Reds really need evidence. And so this is a great for you for yellows.

[00:07:33] We are the chronic high achievers always feel like we're not doing enough. Always feel like we've not done enough. Always feel like there's more to do. And this is a vital activity to really reflect I did this, this literally this time last year, and I could not believe the places I've been, the things I'd organized, the things I'd done, the things I created the challenges I'd overcome.

[00:07:58] I could not believe the list and in my mind, I'd not really done much that year. And this year as well, I'd forgotten when I was looking through my photos on my phone that I'd actually launched a Amazon a bestselling Amazon book, Amazon bestseller. What's, you can definitely tell that this has passed me by, and Amazon bestseller.

[00:08:19] That's the right way to say that in January. Of this year. I've also had a baby this year. We have grown our business hugely this year. There is so many things that I have done. I didn't forget that I have had a baby because I'm actually so sleep deprived. It's impossible to forget, but the evidence can tell you a very different story.

[00:08:40] And this is where you pause and you really are able to, not just look at how productive your year has been, but to see what you've actually carried. Okay. And then we do the next stage, which is what I call noticing the cost. And this is once the year is visible, the next step is then going, what did this year ask of me?

[00:09:06] Where did my energy go? Like when you look through your calendar, I think it's really, it's a great way of seeing where you have spent most of your time because your calendar will if you run your calendar in the right way. Which I encourage you all to do on many of the episodes that we have recorded about your default diary and how you structure your time.

[00:09:25] But if you actually look at what your calendar is showing you, it really gives an idea of where your energy has gone this year, what you, what gave you energy, what you loved doing, and what things have drained you. And what has the cost been? So of all of the things that you've then achieved have you grown your business, doubled your revenue, but actually you've then not actually had any social time, or you have neglected your health?

[00:09:53] Have you gone and got married this year? But actually what has then happened is your business has, paused for want of a better word. Exhaustion isn't like a personal failing, it's information. How you feel as you end this year is. Really gonna set you up for creating something different next year.

[00:10:17] And if we ignore how we are feeling and the evidence and what the, where your energy has gone and what gave you energy, what's drained you of energy, what has worked for you, what has not worked for you, what you loved about your year, what you didn't love about your year, we end up then setting goals.

[00:10:31] Setting goals, usually from a place of guilt rather than a place of clarity. You can't then plan what I call sustainably if you don't acknowledge what the year has actually cost you. So that's the second part is to really ask yourself some questions around the cost. What have I loved? What have I not loved?

[00:10:52] What would I have done more of? If I had time, what would I have done more of? If I had more money, what have I not done because I've not had the money to do? What has my money allowed me to do? What, where have I traveled? What did I love about the social things that I've organized or I've been a part of?

[00:11:09] Think about your work. What did you love? What did you not love? What has drained you? What really do you wanna let go of and not take forward with you into 2026? And then you've got the evidence you've reflected on the year. You've remembered all the shit that you've done that you didn't realize that you had done.

[00:11:25] You've looked at the cost. Good and bad, and then we score the areas of your life. So this is then when I zoom out and I look at the whole life, not just my business, and I use these areas, health and energy, family and relationships, work and leadership, finances, home and environment, personal growth. Rest and enjoyment, and I score each one out of 10.

[00:11:55] Don't ever think it, don't analyze it. Don't explain it, don't justify it. Just the first number that comes up for you. Health and energy, family and relationships, work and leadership, finances, home and environment, personal growth, rest and enjoyment. This is just like a snapshot and when you. Put your scores down on a piece of paper, there'll be some things in there that surprise you.

[00:12:22] You might score your business and your like your work and leadership might be like an eight, but actually your health and energy is a two right now. It might be that you score your family relationships a five 'cause you're just not prioritizing it. You're not, stop spending enough time there, but you might score your personal growth a nine.

[00:12:41] When you've got your scores in front of you, you can then really start to see maybe what has surprised you? Were you kinder to yourself than usual? Did you realize that something has been neglected? And it's usually one or two areas that have been ignored in 2025 or whatever year you are listening to this in, but there's usually one or two areas that really stick out for you.

[00:13:06] That you have neglected and they're quietly asking for some attention. And there could be all of the areas because you could be spending no time on personal development and this stuff if you are just working hard. You are gonna have neglected a lot of those areas. And it might be that you are working really hard, but your leadership, your business, your work, your finances is actually not seeing any benefit to it because you are doing it from the wrong energy.

[00:13:38] So when you've got your scores, it can then really allow you to decide. Which areas are gonna need attention soonest in 2026. Now the next part to this is a principle that underpins this whole process and it's the be do, have principle. Most traditional goal setting that we see always starts with the have.

[00:14:05] I want more income, I want more time. I want a calmer clinic. I want more freedom. And then we jump into, okay I want to all these things. So what do I need to do? I need to work harder. I need to see more patients. I need to just push a bit longer. I need to say yes. I need to not lose out on these opportunities.

[00:14:20] I need to keep these numbers of staff that are actually pissing me off. But I can't really focus on having those big conversations right now. And it doesn't I guess we hope that somewhere down the line. We'll then feel in a different way. But you can't sustainably have something without first doing differently.

[00:14:42] And you can't do differently unless you first become someone different. B, do have, most of us have, do, be, or try to have, do be, and they just skip the B part entirely. So when you are reflecting on 2025, when you are putting your scores down, I want you to know that the person that you were in 2025 created the things that you have right now, the income that you have, the time that you have or have not.

[00:15:19] The team that you have around you, the structures or. Processes that you have in your business, your physical environment, the car that you drive, the house that you live in, the clothes that you wear, the friends that you have, the people that you surround yourself with, the 

[00:15:41] way that you I guess are in your relationships.

[00:15:49] Are all because you have been a certain person that has then taken certain actions to have those things that you see in your physical environment. First it was about being, then it was about doing, and then you have got those things. So as we move into 2026, if you just want a complete repeat of 2025, like nothing to change, then just don't change anything.

[00:16:24] Just be who you are now. And just roll into 2026 and you will have exactly the same things around you. But if you don't want a repeat of 2025, I don't want a repeat of 2025. Like it's been a fucking brilliant year for me in many ways. But I don't wanna just repeat that because for me, development is if I'm not growing and if I'm not developing, I'm literally dying.

[00:16:46] So it's like that is so important for me that I am. Always personally and professionally developing learning, honing skills and sharing this with you all. So I don't wanna just do the same as 2025 again in 2026. So that means that for me to have different things, I'm gonna have to be, not be someone different, but I'm gonna have to behave in a different way.

[00:17:17] I'm gonna have to upgrade and uplevel my beliefs. I'm gonna have to change my thought processes around certain things. I'm gonna have to become the version that is required that enables me to do the things I need to do to then have different things in my life. So instead of asking, what do I want next year, I always like to ask, okay, how do I wanna feel?

[00:17:45] For each area of life, I ask, how do I want this to feel? How do I want my health and energy to feel in 2026? How do I want my finances to feel? How do I want my relationships, my family and relationships to feel? How do I want rest and enjoyment to feel? And I want you to really note the emotions and those feelings that come up for you.

[00:18:08] A big one for me this year is about feeling aligned. 

[00:18:13] Feeling energized, but feeling very present. 

[00:18:18] These feelings define the be calm isn't an outcome. Energized isn't an outcome. It's a way of being. And as your priorities shift and feel for me? Absolutely. This year my priorities have shifted. Have changed.

[00:18:35] I have got more priorities. In fact, can you have more priorities? 'cause priority actually means one. So probably not Katie. But I have other things that I have to think about this year and, but I still have a massive duty to you, to all of you who listen to this podcast week and week out, who come to our strategy days, who coach with us, who are a part of our community, like.

[00:18:57] You can't, I can't afford to not still be here for you. So when the bee is really clear of how I want to. Behave in 2026. Decision making then becomes simpler because then when I set my intentions and my goals, the things I wanna achieve, I'm setting them from a place of being. So if I wanna feel aligned, energized, and present in 2026, when I have decisions to make in my professional life and in my personal life of whether it's gonna serve me or not, I'm gonna ask myself, is that gonna, is that, does that.

[00:19:39] Is that in true alignment with what I want to create, is that gonna energize me or is it actually gonna drain me? And is that gonna allow me to be present? Or is it gonna stretch my boundaries and mean that I'm not able to be present? So once the B is clear, the do becomes much easier. This is where like our intentions come in, so it's not like a massive to-do list.

[00:20:02] For example, if I wanna feel present this year, then it might mean fewer commitments. It might mean clearer boundaries. It might mean I need more help at home. It might be that I. Need to ask for help sooner. I need to delegate earlier. It might be that I need to let go of doing certain things myself.

[00:20:26] These actions come from the be of. I wanna be present. And when your actions align with who you are becoming, it actually feels aligned. It feels good, it feels lighter. Now I then move into. The year the word of the year. These don't have to be aspirational. They don't have to be like, written everywhere.

[00:20:50] But it's something that you can protect, something that's like a filter. So it could be ease enough, calm, steady, alignment, energized, present, and then I can ask myself, does the decision support my word or does it pull me away from it? So I always have a word of the year that always frames my journal and frames my decision making for the year ahead.

[00:21:18] And don't get me wrong, then it turns out a 10, it works, one turns out a 10, it doesn't. I've forgot the freaking word. And we are human. We make mistakes. We are not robots. But if you set your year up with intention, then everything else feels 

[00:21:34] easier to follow.

[00:21:36] I want, and I hope that this way of 

[00:21:40] perhaps setting up how you want your 2026 to go feels different. It feels better for you, rather than just set setting a list of goals that. A big part of your brain will be like, I do not know how I'm gonna do all of that, and it just feels like another to-do list. But when you go through each area of your life and you say, score your health and fitness, or health and energy a five, and you decide that actually for me to get that from a five to maybe a seven this year or an eight this year, these are the key things that I need to be able to do.

[00:22:16] It helps you create that to-do list or that action list in a much more simple way. Now I reflect and go back to these on a monthly basis. And so each month I have goals of the month that I want to achieve. I then have to do is that I'll let you just easy things that you might want to tick off, but they all align to.

[00:22:44] The way I want to feel, rather than let's just write a whole list of goals, start trying to achieve them from a place of being that doesn't support me and get to the end of the year and think, actually that isn't what I set out to do, and this year has now given me things that I don't want, or it hasn't served me in the way that I really need it to serve me.

[00:23:07] So I'm gonna be following this framework on the 30th of December. I hope that you do too. Get yourself a snazzy new journal and go through each of those steps that I have covered with you. And before we go, I wanted to. Give you some guided reflection. And this is, again, a little bit different to what I would normally do on the podcast, but if you've got enough from this, you feel like you've got a framework that you can follow, you need to create some space.

[00:23:37] You need to do this. When your child, children are asleep and people are not demanding your attention, pull yourself a glass of something fizzy. That would be my choice. A glass of champagne. Get yourself a little pot of roasted nuts and just sit with your pen and paper. Listen to my voice and go through the framework, but if you wanna stay a little bit longer and you wanna go through guided reflection with me, I would love you to stay tuned in.

[00:24:03] If you are driving, just listen gently. If you are sitting, allow your body to just soften in the chair that you are in. Take a slow breath in through your nose and a long breath. Out through your mouth. Let your shoulders drop down. Let your jaw un unclench and your tongue just drop from the roof of your mouth and let your breath just settle and bring your attention back over the past year not to analyze it, not to fix it, just to notice it.

[00:24:41] Picture yourself moving through the months back in January. As we move into February through into March, notice moments where you showed up even when it was hard. 

[00:24:57] Notice the patience that you supported, the decisions that you made, the events that you got to, the things that you carried 

[00:25:09] as a business owner that nobody else saw.

[00:25:13] Notice it. Acknowledge it. Take a deep breath. Now bring your awareness to your energy and ask yourself quietly, as I work through the year, 

[00:25:29] the places I've traveled, the things that I've done, where did my energy go? If somebody else was looking at my calendar, what would they notice? What nourished me this year?

[00:25:43] As I look back at my calendar and all of my commitments, notice the feelings that come up when you see certain meetings in your diary or certain social engagements in your diary. What drains you? What lifted you up? There's no 

[00:26:01] judgment here. Nobody is in your mind. It's just honesty.

[00:26:05] Notice where those feelings are coming from. Do you have a lump in the back of your 

[00:26:11] throat? Do you feel that your feelings are coming from your chest? Or is there pain or tension in your shoulders? Do you notice any areas in your body where you are holding on to some of these feelings? And as we shift our focus to the year ahead.

[00:26:31] Knowing that you are in complete control of how this year gets to go, and even though a part of you feels you are not in control sometimes, and that everybody needs a part of,

[00:26:44] that you are the 

[00:26:44] boss. Instead of asking what you want to achieve, ask, how do I want to feel in my life and in my business?

[00:26:56] Let one or two words just come to mind. Don't force it. Just trust what shows up for you. 

[00:27:03] And now ask yourself, if I truly wanted to feel in this way, what would need to change? Not everything, just one or two things. Something you are ready to let go of. Something you are ready to protect

[00:27:24] and take another big slow breath

[00:27:28] and remind yourself of this. You don't need to earn rest. You don't need to earn a holiday. You don't need to prove anything. You are already enough.

[00:27:45] Thank yourself for showing up this year,

[00:27:50] and when you are ready, gently bring your awareness back to the room

[00:27:56] as this year comes to a close. I want to 

[00:27:59] leave you all with this. You don't need a better plan. You need a clearer sense of who you are becoming. You must be first. You must do second to have. Third. Choose how you want to feel and let that guide your decisions. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. Thank you for listening.

[00:28:26] Thank you for all of your support in 2025. I'm gonna be back next week with a whole new energy leading us into 2026. I can't wait to see you then, but for now, a very happy New Year. 

[00:28:40] thanks for listening to the Treat Your Business podcast. Hit subscribe now and keep joining me for bigger insights, older conversations to help you build a clinic and a life you love.

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Katie Bell

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