GEN-X VS GEN-Z: A MOTHER-DAUGHTER CONVERSATION ON GENERATIONAL DIFFERENCES IN DATING

Buckle up, lovebirds! In this side-splitting episode, we compare the dating escapades of Gen X and Gen Z. From mixtapes to Spotify playlists, pencil sharpeners to DMs, and acid-washed jeans to hoodies; we'll explore how the pursuit of love has transformed over the years. Join us for a nostalgia-filled journey that'll have you giggling and reminiscing about your own dating adventures!

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Transcript

Naiya: [00:00:00]  Welcome back to McKnights of Magnolia. So mom, what are we gonna be talking about today? 

Dana: The last podcast? The Influencer Beef. I loved talking about it and I learned a 

Naiya: lot. Mm. I'm pretty sure like 80% of that was like probably incorrect. It was all based off my memory. 

Dana: I mean, we said allegedly. So we covered our ass.

Dana: We covered our ass. So that's okay. The one thing that did stand out. When you talked about Tana Mojo mm-hmm. was the infamous story time. Oh yeah. Yeah. That situation really stuck with me so much so that I couldn't let it go. I went to our Facebook, right, posed a question to the internet aunties. , am I overreacting?

Dana: They said I was reacting to having someone be as open about their sexuality. Mm-hmm. or promiscuity is different. Gen Xers, we [00:01:00] were a little more closed off about our sexuality. Yeah. And I feel like millennials, gen Zers, you guys are a lot more. . Oh, 

Naiya: 100%. As an example, when I go out anywhere, they'll go to a house party or a club or something like that, and I can meet a girl in the bathroom.

Naiya: She'll dish her whole sex life to me and we'll just talk like it's so open and so talked about. We don't save anything for the imagination, if that makes any sense. My friends will call me and they're like, oh my God, guess what? Like explicit detail. And I'm sitting there eating it up. I'm like, oh, 

Dana: he did what?

Dana: And it's not that we didn't talk about it. , definitely not on camera. Oh yeah, that's so true. I may have called my best friend, 

Naiya: but did you go into like detail? 

Dana: Detail? That is irrelevant. , but the point is there is a generational gap. Oh yeah. Talking about sexual escapades. Mm-hmm. , did you just hear one? I think 

Naiya: it's your voice.

Naiya: Like your voice. Is it soothing? It's so soothing. [00:02:00] 

Dana: I really do. Are you smoke up my ass right now or is it really soothing? No, I'm just 

Naiya: kidding. No, it actually is like so soothing. It's just like, it's like you have a really full voice and you're just like, yeah, I don't know. I think it's your voice cuz you know I watch ASMR a lot, right?

Naiya: And they always use like microphones and I always have my 

Dana: headphones. Your eyes are watering and everything. 

Naiya: I think that's what it is that you're so 

Dana: soo. Okay. Thank you, 

Naiya: Naya. You're welcome. Like you have a good like author voice, like you could read a book on Audible. 

Dana: Okay. I thought it would be a good idea to bridge the gap and have an honest mother-daughter conversation about the differences between the generations in dating.

Dana: Oh yeah. There are a lot of things we did that you guys don't do, or I feel like you guys are missing out on. Mm-hmm. , and then there are some things. , I think you guys do. And I just scratch my head. Yeah, probably. I'm in 

Naiya: the generation where we eat Tide Pods. I love us so much, but we do dumb things [00:03:00] Can 

Dana: And who eats laundry detergent?

Dana: If we were interested in a guy mm-hmm. , we would put on our best outfits. Not all the best. And I'm talking, you go to rave like Blazers and pearls. Oh, you got jokes. I got major. I'm talking neon biker shorts. Oh, 54, 11 sneakers. Do you know about 54 11? Don't, sneakers don't. They're these cute Reeboks, and they were basically $54 and 11 cents with tax.

Dana: We did acid wash jeans, and then they would have the flap over. So we'd go to the mall on Saturdays because that's when mall culture, we were in the malls every single Saturday. 

Naiya: I wish I grew up a part of mall 

Dana: culture. There were stores like Rave Spencer's Bakers, Tom McCann, and Auntie Anne's. That store is a staple.

Dana: We, you may not have had money to shop, but we always had money to go down on to, yes, to go and get your, it's not a shopping 

Naiya: experience unless you go, unless you 

Dana: go get yourself a practice. So we would do that My. [00:04:00] Go-to favorite outfit, A buddy on again.

Dana: My other favorite go-to outfit, boo took me to the mall when I was, he was our grandpa. My grandpa. Yes. My dad, boo took me to the mall, cherry Hill Mall in Jersey. He was like, get what you're gonna get and let's go. . I bought this guest denim dress. It was long sleeves. Oh, this was like denim and long sleeve dress.

Dana: Oh no. It fit in all the right places and I'm talking like seventh grade. Oh, okay. Boy, it fit. Oh my. Okay. Mind you. . I had a Jerry Curl. And braces. And braces at the same. At the same damn time. Dude, that's brutal. It was so awful. I needed all the help that I could get. And then Aunt Terry had bought me these white Evan Pecon cowboy boots.

Dana: Okay. That had fringe 

Naiya: get out of my face. You could not tell me. Now I know your wife Fringe is your 

Dana: [00:05:00] favorite thing. I thought I was the bomb. Like if we didn't go to the. and see your crush. Mm-hmm. , I would get up and go to the pencil sharpener 15 times. No. Yeah. When we were in school, the pencil sharpener was attached to the wall, so was ours.

Dana: Really? 

Yeah. , 

Naiya: are you talking about the one that you go like this and then it has like little holes in it? 

Dana: Holes. Holes. You have to change it. Change it? Yes. Yeah, we still have those. I would get up and go to the pencil sharpener so many times that the teacher was like, okay, Ms. Basmore, get up one more time.

Dana: Like you would get in trouble. I would get in trouble because I was like, oh, he's gonna see, and you got called out 

Naiya: by the teacher and I got called out by that. Like, everyone's already looking at you, please. Yes. Okay. I'm 

Dana: sorry. Right. I had to do something because my Jerry Curl wasn't even a juicy Jerry Curl.

Dana: It was dry. . That's so unfortunate. Did I mention I was in the band? Yeah. You really had No, it was the trifecta of the worst things that could happen in middle school. Jerry, curl, 

Naiya: braces, clarinet, puberty, acne. What else did you have? Because you really had all the odds against you [00:06:00] at that time. Like middle school was not your prime.

Dana: No, and I'm four 11. Short . It was just awful. How do you guys flirt? This 

Naiya: is bringing me back to middle school. 

Dana: How do you flirt on Snapchat? Or how do you Oh my God. Do you flirt on 

Naiya: Snapchat? Yeah, you definitely do flirt on Snapchat. You'll send. Okay. Also, I think. Another thing about the difference in our generation is that my generation is more sexually promiscuous than I think your generation at that age would be.

Naiya: Kids were sending nudes in eighth grade and getting exposed, so if you liked a boy or whatever, you would snap him. But at nighttime, and have him think about you, but he wouldn't send anything first. You'd snap him, but you make sure you looked your best in that snap. It could be 

Dana: 11 o'clock snap. No, not necessarily.

Dana: Oh, okay. My, you skipped That takes some time. Okay. Because that takes some time. That total just skips. It's 

Naiya: not just like the first snap, but it takes time. Like you guys 

Dana: know what I'm talking about. So are we talking the third snap, the fourth snap? Just, I'm talking about like a couple weeks. Two weeks, 12 weeks.

Dana: [00:07:00] There's a difference. What's a couple mean? Two, that's what I think, like two, three. Yeah. And that soon you're getting new. Yes. 

Naiya: Say I met a boy at the football game, I knew who he was. Friend of a friend. Mm-hmm. . And he goes to a rival school or something like that and we'd start snapping, like automatically.

Naiya: He would send me

Dana: I can't, 

Naiya: no, it's, it's literally crazy. But like I was saying, what we do, not going so far as nudes and stuff like that, but it could be 11 o'clock at night on a school night and you go up and you go fix your hair, you go put on like a cute top because you know they can't see Yeah. Everything else. So you put on a cute top, maybe some cute earrings, some mascara, and then you go back in bed and just like you just woke up and you snap them as if that's how you look when you go to,

Naiya: It was like a routine. Can I sometimes still do it to this day and I'm 18. The cute guy will snap me and I'm like, hold. . Let me put some concealer on it. Some mascara real quick. 

Dana: Cause I look dead. Yeah, you guys are definitely [00:08:00] missing a whole bunch of steps because there's levels to this. Mm-hmm. , we would cut it 

Naiya: out.

Naiya: We just jump 

Dana: into it. We, we would have a notebook in school, right? Mm-hmm. , or a trapper keeper. Do you know what a trapper keeper is? Mm-hmm. . Oh, it is like the Tupperware of school supplies. Was it like the pencil? No, it was like a big organizer for like pencils and notebooks and, and loosely paper. Oh, okay.

Dana: Oh, you should Google Trapper Keeper. I'm gonna Google a Trapper Keeper. We would doodle our crushes name on it and put hearts around it. , is it that that is the trapper keeper. That's so cute. It was heavy, but it was so cool. If his name was like John Smith, you'd put Mrs. Smith on. You actually did that.

Dana: Like at like the, yeah, I mean that was, it was just something stupid to pass the time. 

Naiya: I always thought that was like a cliche in movies. Like I never thought that like people actually did that. 

Dana: Yeah, we did. Oh, did we? Or did you? Okay. So when I said we, I know for a fact Lydia and [00:09:00] I both did. So, I mean, but again, Lydia had a Jerry Curl too.

Dana: At least she was on the cheer team. That wasn't until later when we were in middle school, she wore blazers. She had a Jerry Curl and she was in the. Don't try to single me out. Snap. I wasn't the only uncool one. She said 

Naiya: If you're going Lydia, if you're 

Dana: watching this, she's shaking you down with her. She is coming down with me.

Dana: But what's that Jack Harlow said, he said, I didn't peek in high school. I'm still out here getting cuter. Yeah, getting cute. Or, that's our motto. 

Naiya: It's like, or you know, rags to riches. No rags are riches, rags. 

Dana: Finish it. Nya, I don't know the rest of the question. I don't, I dunno. The rest of it either. I don't know the rest, pretty sure it's broad wave, but anyway.

Dana: Oh, I like Broadway. We'd also pass notes in class. Our generation was the ultimate note passer and what, what do you call those things that you have? The paper. Oh, I know what you're talking about. Like it's like, yeah, like 

Naiya: the shoot. Pick a number. 1, 2, 3, [00:10:00] 4. 

Dana: We used to do, do you like me? Yes or no? Check one.

Dana: They do that in elementary. We weren't that advanced, and so we were doing that in middle school and they would actually put yes or no on there, and oh my God, it, it was, no, you were mortified. Oh my God. It was the 

Naiya: worst thing in the world because, you know, he was gonna tell 

Dana: his friends about it. Right. Or vice versa.

Dana: Or she was gonna say, Joe asked me if I liked him. And I was like, no girl. It was so embarrassing. But that was part of it. Oh yeah. The sheer anxiety of getting the note. and it says anything other than Yes. 

Naiya: Oh my God. Yeah. We both know. My biggest fear is rejection. Mm-hmm. and like failure . But literally, I will remember in high school, I'll be like talking to guys and we'll text instead of writing it down on a piece of paper, like we'll snap it.

Naiya: But I will say the beauty of Snapchat, it disappears. It disappears after you send it. So you send it and then if they open it and you go back in, it's still there. But if they go back out, it's complicated. But if they go back out and if you both exit the chat, it's gone. Godfather told me that [00:11:00] Snapchat is for freaks.

Naiya: He shouldn't be on Snapchat. And I was like, godfather, dear God. He would know. But he would, he would know. He would know. Like you could just deny, deny, deny. There had been times where I thought, where I liked a guy, he would say something and then someone would come up to me and be like, NAIA, did you tell so-and-so that you liked him?

Naiya: And I was like, no, no. 

Dana: Well, 

Naiya: like obviously he's a fan and like I would gaslight everybody and be like, I don't know where you're getting that from. 

Dana: Do you know why I tell you pen and paper in your. 

Naiya: Because it's incriminating. 

Dana: It is so incriminating. Yeah. Like we would , we had no way of denying. I mean, you pretty much could go to the teacher's desk and compare handwriting.

Dana: You did write that Dana, you, you asked him if he liked you and he said no. It was just a terrible, terrible time. Also, our dating pool was a lot smaller than your dating pool. If he didn't go to your school, if he didn't go to your church. Right. or you didn't meet 'em in like all city band . That's true. You guys didn't date, we didn't have [00:12:00] cars or we didn't have our own cars.

Dana: We could borrow the family station wagon or the Okay. Or the Buick, you know, the Buick or the, the, the brick or something like that to go visit. But that was far in fu in between, so. Okay. Usually the guy would walk over to your house from his house. Mm. So it needed to be a 10, 15 minute walk. Okay. And then we just.

Dana: Really get the chance to meet many people outside of our school districts. You guys have an advantage. Your dating pool is a lot larger than ours because you have social media, you have the internet, you guys are able to connect. Two people. One 

Naiya: thing I will say is that I feel like your generation has like this sense of shivery that my generation just doesn't have.

Naiya: Oh, honey. Like through and through. Like are you telling me a boy would walk 10 minutes to your house to ask you out on a date? Oh, more like, it's 

Dana: insane. Insane. They would visit, they literally would come. 

Naiya: Okay. Some guys would be like, oh yeah, like it's too far. [00:13:00] Mmo just like, like not do, like it's insane.

Naiya: Oh no. Like guys nowadays are actually 

Dana: like pos, not all of them. It may be a little different, but I 

Naiya: mean, but like it's like majority now, 

Dana: but no, these guys would walk over to your house. Mm-hmm. , and you would actually receive company. Mm-hmm. . You would either sit on the porch, you'd sit in the family room, you'd watch a TV show or something like that.

Dana: They'd stay for dinner, and then off you go. Yeah. But before you even got to that, , you had to because you had no way of communicating with this person outside of school. Mm-hmm. , you had to ask for the digits, . You seriously had to ask for the digits, so they would get your phone number and then they'd say, okay, I'll call you tonight at seven, because after dinner you have to do the dishes.

Dana: You've got chores. So like 7, 7 30 was like the magic hour. it never freaking failed. Seven 20, somebody would call from church and [00:14:00] mom, . Mom will be on the phone, cackling about the building fund, and she's just going on about the bake sale, , about the pastor's anniversary. And you're like, . Oh my God. Like, mom, get the fuck.

Dana: And then she would snap on you if you, you know how I get angry when you guys interrupt me on the phone? She would snap and she's like, I know you did not just, and then she would act like she didn't hear the two-way beeping beep cuz it literally. Would be, we had one phone attached to the wall, like the pencil sharpener, and she would just be, and you were like, get off the phone, because I had to be off the phone by 9:00 PM And you had a phone curfew?

Dana: Yes, Lynn. She didn't play that. She did not, she did not play that. She was like, you're not gonna be talking all night on my phone and my house, and you're gonna, and I was like, gosh, nine o'clock. So you. The whole hour and a half that you had to talk. Yeah, it just was disastrous. You guys skipped that. 

Naiya: Oh yeah.

Naiya: And sometimes we don't even have to ask for numbers. It's so non-con confrontational. I feel we like a guy or whatever, [00:15:00] and we'll see his Snapchat come up in with a quick ad. Because Instagram will come up and suggested 

Dana: wait, and you just wait. What's the quick ad? In what app? 

Naiya: So on Snapchat there's a thing called Quick Ad, and it's people you're a mutual friends with, but you don't have them on Snapchat.

Naiya: Mm-hmm. say Britney was friends with Brian. I liked Brian. So since I had Britney on Snapchat, Brian's Snapchat came up in my quick ad and I would just add Brian through my quick ad. Instead of being like, Hey, can I have your number, like da da da da da. I'd just add. So is 

Dana: that why we would take you to different things?

Dana: And then you were supposed to meet Katie or something like that. And then I'd say, well, is she here? And then you would be like, I don't know. And I was like, call her. And then you'd say something ridiculous like, I don't have her, I don't have her number. And I'm like, what do you mean you don't have her number?

Naiya: I don't have her number. Like I, I can call her on Snapchat. , I can check her snap maps and see where she's 

Dana: at and that's the craziest thing. But yeah, and then being able to check where she is, um, is outrageous too, because 

Naiya: I can literally pull [00:16:00] up, I like half these people on my Snapchat. I barely 

Dana: even know.

Dana: No, I, if Lydia and I were gonna meet at the movies, we would have to say, Okay, we're gonna leave at seven 30 and you'd pray that she did leave at seven 30. There were payphones and we all, my mom would send me out with a quarter all the time because With a quarter. A quarter, because we had to make a phone call.

Naiya: Was that like your generation's like version of like 20 

Dana: bucks? No, that seriously not. Oh, that was our version of a cell phone. A quarter was a quarter. I don't miss the payphone era at all. Oh, I wouldn't either. Like 

Naiya: this thing in my hand. Right. Mom. It's so convenient. 

Dana: After you got the digits. Mm-hmm. , you guys are talking on the phone.

Dana: You still weren't boyfriend and girlfriend yet. Oh, snap. Like there's steps to it. Okay. So after you guys were talking on the phone and all that stuff, there's a step between talking on the phone and going together or talking? Being talking. Yeah. Y'all say talking too. Yeah. We have like, cause we say talking, we're like the talking stage, but talking in our [00:17:00] ment too, that they still were open.

Dana: Talk to other people and date. See, that's how I 

Naiya: feel that talking is. That is what talking is. No 100%. But my generation, they have this weird thing. They're like, oh yeah, I'm talking to this guy, but I'm not seeing any other guys. But we're not dating. Yes, you are like talking, you just don't wanna have that label.

Naiya: But you are dating. Like if I'm talking to a guy, I might be talking to six others, like it's fine. 

Dana: Oh, it's totally fine. And it's not cheating. And you should, no, you should not limit yourself. No. And especially like get outta here at the young age. You are. You should not like commitment. Limiting me. Never , never naia, never.

Dana: Naya never. 

Naiya: I might be 35 before I settle down 

Dana: and that's totally fine too. Right. But then when you decided to. Be boyfriend and girlfriend. You actually did ask, do you wanna be my girlfriend? Hey, are we doing this or not? Right? , I mean basically that's what happened, but then it came time for dates. Oh, 

Naiya: so, so then you [00:18:00] guys went on dates.

Naiya: Yeah. After you guys were dating? Yeah. Like I like in a relationship. Like you guys were boyfriend and girlfriend and then you went on dates. Yes. 

Dana: See, I never went out on a date with anybody. I was just talking to, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. See, 

Naiya: that's so different. Like this is how it, this is the timeline.

Naiya: So it's basically you meet him, you're. interested, then you guys are snapping and stuff, then it elevates to talking. Mm-hmm. . And then while you guys are talking, you're hanging out, going on dates, things like that. Like even some more boyfriend and girlfriendy stuff goes on in the talking stage and then you commit 

Dana: the usual places to date was, we only had a few places.

Dana: Okay. Which was the skating rink. The bowling alley. Oh my God. You're so old. No, I'm serious. And then if you were serious, serious. You would go to the mall with your boot on Saturday and hold hands, and then you [00:19:00] probably dressed alike. That was the throw. Why? 

Naiya: If a guy was like, let's dress alike. Like what is wrong with you?

Naiya: Like matching, like I see how couples like match 

Dana: and No, we dressed alike. 

Naiya: No, listen. Mm-hmm. . This is how I feel about couples matching cuz this is serious. Okay. I see. Like subtle matching. Maybe like they'll wear the same shoes. That's cute. That's fine. 

Dana: Oh, matching sneakers was de like that was a given. Oh, great.

Dana: Not 54 elevens. They were d. Like 

Naiya: she's, I wouldn't do that, but I see other people like, or if they go to the beach, her bikini top matches his shorts, like, I'm like, uh, 

Dana: okay. Yeah. We did go to to the beach a lot too, cuz we're from, you're from the beach. The beach. So we would go to waterfront and stuff like that, 

Naiya: but couples who really, really, really match.

Naiya: in every single outfit they make me wanna like throw 

Dana: up. I'm not gonna say they make me wanna throw up, it's not for me, but to each their own, sure. But no, but this is the trick thing, right? Because I feel like you guys totally missed out on [00:20:00] this. You guys, for the most part, meet each other out, like your date out.

Dana: Or they just come to the driveway to pick you guys up or whatever. But these guys had to knock on the door, ask for us, we'd come out, that's cool. And they'd have to sit in the living room and talk to Pop Pop while I was finishing getting ready, oh my. And all that stuff. And Pop, pop would give them the business.

Dana: I mean, he, whatever you do to my daughter, I'm gonna do to you. Type times two E. Exactly. And you know, He was a sheriff, so he's like, I mean, it, it was insane then, because he could, he could kill you and hide the body and know How about that. How about, but like escort you outside and everything and then they'd open the door for you.

Dana: Yeah. If you did not lean over and unlock the door. It was a test. What do you mean? Okay, so we didn't have automatic. There was like an automatic lock to just you, if he opens the door for you mm-hmm. , and you can hit the lock and then you can open his door too. Right? Wait, like on the driver's side? Yeah. So, okay.

Dana: So [00:21:00] he's gonna, he's opening the car door for me. Okay. I sit in the passenger seat, he closes the door, his door, the driver's side door is still locked. Okay. I. would lean over. Okay. And unlock his door. That, there we go. And that was a test. Look, I don't know if you've ever seen a Bronx Tale. No, I haven't.

Dana: There's this Italian guy who likes this black girl. Mm-hmm. . And that was totally taboo. Oh. So the Italian guys are telling the Italian guy, . She's a selfish broad. If you open the door for her and she does not lean over and open, does she lean over and unlock? Yes, she did. Hallelu, she did it. I was like, yes, she nailed it, but they did a lot of door opening.

Dana: And 

Naiya: see that's one thing that like I miss and I wish we experienced well, I mean, sometimes it'll happen, but it's not as common as it should be. So many times I'll go anywhere, like my guy friends. Mm-hmm. are way more gentleman or. Way better gentleman than like the guys I'll talk to [00:22:00] or even like consider dating even a little bit, they'll open the door for me.

Naiya: Yeah. They'll like pay for lunch, things like that. And I'm like, you guys, but I'll even talk to some of my girlfriends who are dating and they're just like, oh no, he doesn't open the door for me. He doesn't do anything like that. But there's, there is a few. . One of my other friends, we were all friends at one point, not anymore, but he was like a really good boyfriend to her.

Naiya: I think his mom was really just like, no, you're doing this. And then so he would always open the car door for her. Mm-hmm. , like bring her gifts, things like that. And it was so sweet. But it's so rare 

Dana: nowadays to get ready for a date. . Mm-hmm. , we would spend hours trying to find the right outfit. Right? Oh yeah.

Dana: I was on the phone with Lydia. Hey, do you have any neon slouch socks? Do you have pink ones? And like a green one so I can mix, match and all this stuff or whatever to find like a good hairstyle. Mm-hmm. . I would go get word up magazine, height magazine or hype word up. No word up, right on hype hair to figure out like how to like do my hair.

Dana: Beard [00:23:00] 

Naiya: dried Jerry. There's 

Dana: there much to do with that. This was high school. I moved on. So what did you have then? I, oh girl. I had a salt and pepper. It was an asymmetrical. Oh, period. Girl, lemme tell you. So no. A true round the way girl you were treated. I had a Fendi bag. A bad attitude. You had a Fendi bag in high school.

Dana: Well, it was more like a Hindi bag, but I had a bad attitude and bamboo earrings. At least two per, that's what ll said. Two per two per, this was not middle school. Okay. I was about to say, you had to figure out exactly. I finally figured out how to do my hair because grandma, at, between the jerry curl and the, the asymmetrical, like salt and pepper do uhhuh,

Dana: You wanna know what she did to me? You know those pink rollers, the foam, she would put like lot of bodies setting lotion on. My hair can't stop, and she would roll it up hard as rocks, hard as rocks. I, they didn't know what to do. Withy hair back then, like it was terrible. And then it was this long because when you hide a Jerry [00:24:00] Curl, it was a chemical.

Dana: You basically had to start over and you couldn't put a relaxer on top of the Jerry Curl because then you'd be. All your hair would fall out. It was, it's 

Naiya: better to cut it out than have it fall 

Dana: out. Yes. So I, trust me. I know. So then if she didn't use the sponge rollers to roll my hair, she'd still use a lot of body setting lotion.

Dana: And then she'd put like the skinny perm rollers in my hair. Did she used to say no? Oh, it was terrible. And then Lydia. And then Lydia of course helped me, and then I was so lucky we had a girl, Becky, Becky. I think she was born to do hair. Her parents had a basement and she was doing finger waves. Oh, finger waves are so cute.

Dana: The bomb. She used to do finger waves for like $10 back then. . She had the little dryers set up. She had a chair. Okay. Seriously, she has always done hair and she's still doing hair, period. We used to cut out images from hype hair. Mm-hmm. and bring it to her. Mm-hmm. . It was like, we want this, this is what we want.

Dana: And she was like, I got you. I got you. It is. [00:25:00] She would do it. Sit down and that's how we would find our outfit, inspiration and all that. But I feel like you guys, just for a date, y'all just throwing a hoodie and y'all are out. 

Naiya: Depend. . Depends on where we're going. Like if we're going to a nice dinner . 

Dana: I was 

Naiya: kidding Travis, but not kidding.

Naiya: No, I swear if we're going to dinner, cuz I feel like everything's just so casual nowadays. Like, I mean like you still don't wanna look ugly. We have what we like to call dress up loungewear. Like we will wear sweatpants and an oversized hoodie and slippers. On a date like it has to be. But listen to this mom, like it has to be the Nike sweatpants or the Haines ones.

Naiya: They fit so nice. So like you have to have like the right fitting sweatpants, the shirt, the sweatshirt can't be too baggy, but it can't fit at the same time. Like it has to be that perfect oversized. And then you also, like sometimes instead of like the U, like especially like the U Tasmanians, do you usually wear.

Naiya: like the U Tasmanian slippers. 

Dana: If, if you said U I don't [00:26:00] Tasmanian the first time. And I said, what is that? I don't know what that means. The u, I don't know what a Uug Tasmanian is. 

Naiya: Maybe I'm wrong. No, I was right. Oh, it's Tasman. Anyways, let me see. I said Tasmanian, but like these slippers right 

Dana: here. Those are 

Naiya: for the house?

Naiya: No, they're for outdoors. So basically, The slippers that me and Leah have that you got us. Yeah. You wear those out like with socks, like tube socks or whatever. And then you always have the cutest necklace on some cute earrings. Like you always accessorize it up and then you go, but that's for if, say your boyfriend's picking you up to drive to see like the Christmas lights or something like that.

Naiya: That's what you'd wear. Like what? Oh, if your boyfriend's picking you up at like eight o'clock to take you out to cookout and you guys are hanging out in the cookout parking lot, like that's what 

Dana: you wear. But why can't you wear regular shoes like shoes with a soul? Shoes that are meant to be 

Naiya: outside not bitter shoes because the slippers?

Naiya: Because it's just, it just is what it is. Like it is the slipper. Like the slipper eats, 

Dana: like I'm telling you right now. And that is [00:27:00] definitely a generational difference. That's me. We would not be caught. Like we take the trash out in slippers. We do not go out. Some of us, don't get me wrong, some of us do, but I do feel, and I don't wanna generalize, I feel like more millennials and Gen Zers do that.

Dana: I feel like Gen Xers. We don't 

Naiya: a lot. No. I'm also millennials want to be us so bad and that's a thing that I have to what? Swear. Why They literally, because I think millennials have like this weird thing with their youth and they just wanna hold onto it and it's the weirdest thing. But they are young or they're like they are, but they wanna be like TikTok in and wearing like GenX smiley faces and Crap 

Dana: Gen X's, TikTok.

Dana: No, I 

Naiya: know. No, I know. But they want like Gen X. TikTok like Gen Xers, millennials, . No. There's this thing I'm about to educate you. This has nothing to do with dating, but listen, I'm gonna talk to the camera real quick. This is for all the people who are my age, the millennial. Pause. I say no more. Do you know what that is?[00:28:00] 

Naiya: No. Oh my God, I'm taking over just a little bit. The millennial pause, every time they take, start a video on, um, TikTok mm-hmm. , they'll start recording. They'll go like this, like watch, they'll go like, So today, and they start like talking two seconds after it started recording. Whereas like millennials, I'll start a and be like, I'll be like, okay, hey guys, like da da da da da.

Naiya: Like I'm talking right now. It's a thing. The millennial pause is a, that thing is weird and we, that's how we can spot a millennial like a mile away. The millennial paw, they will sit there and look at you in the camera for two to three seconds before they say anything, and we're like, speed it up. What are you?

Dana: That is 

Naiya: hysterical. No, it's insane, but it's so true. Millennial pause is like a real thing. 

Dana: Well, listen, I also feel like you guys missed out on the whole long distance relationship. We didn't have long distance on our phones. It was really expensive to call from, from the seven fifty seven to 6 0 9 to whatever.

Dana: So [00:29:00] if your crush, or your boyfriend or your girlfriend wasn't in the same zip code, you'd have to do long. We started doing mix tapes. Oh, snap. So we would get the cassette and, and I know you know what a cassette is. I know what a cassette not an eight 

Naiya: track. I know what a cassette is. 

Dana: Okay. So we would go to like I really had them, 

Naiya: I had them growing up 

Dana: as a kid because I made them for you.

Dana: No, I know, 

Naiya: but I'm saying like you act like. , you never, 

Dana: I forgot N 

Naiya: Cheese and vhs, 

Dana: like B, so Farrell. So we would go to Rite A and get like a pack of three . And my favorite was Panasonic, cuz those were like, the good cassette Panasonic is you'd get your little boom box, you'd get your tape in there, and then they'd have like this little strip at the top and then you'd put like two My Love John Smith.

Dana: So then you'd stick it in there and you'd get it all queue. , this is the hard part. You'd have to wait for your song to come on the radio. It seriously was like making a playlist, but it could take you three days to do it. Right. That's insane. So this is when you would [00:30:00] have to call the radio station?

Dana: Mm-hmm. call the DJ to request the song. You can request, oh, we could back in the day. I don't think now. I mean, I think we, I think some programs you 

Naiya: can, but no, I think all of our radios are like huge though. Like you can't call into. , they're like 

Dana: serious. Right. But no, this was a local radio station like sway in the morning.

Dana: Right. Gotcha. And you would have to call the radio station, call the DJ once you got through because the line was busy then if you were lucky if you made it on air. . They would be like, Dana, you're on air. And you'd be like, oh my God. I just 

Naiya: like scream it on air. 

Dana: You like, yes. Going crazy. You scream it on air.

Dana: I once or twice. Yes. So then you'd like make it on air and it was like, oh my God. And this is the thing, because there were only out to my lover John's. Smith, they'd just be like, where are you calling from? What school do you go to? And then all your other friends were listening to because there was only one radio station.

Dana: So everybody heard you. So then the next day at the bus stop, oh, [00:31:00] we heard you on the radio girl. Like I'd be like, yeah, you'd be like, pop off. Like I'm that bitch. So then , I'm serious. I missed that. Seriously. So you were so freaking excited and then it was like all day they were just hyping you up, hying you, you up.

Dana: You were so amped. Right Now I'm loving it because this was Nya. This you guys, was this your prime? Well, no, but was it exciting? . Yes. Oh, I love that. And these are things I envy for you guys that you don't get to experience. Here's the thing, 

Naiya: I feel like we get the same experience, but it's just different except for the whole like door opening thing.

Naiya: Like, ugh, I hate that. But now like your version of the radio station is like, oh my God, the Spotify playlist. No. If a celebrity. Tweets your likes, your tweet or comments on your TikTok, like, it's so crazy. There was this girl on TikTok, she was talking about something and then Chi and Chong re commented on her video and she was like, oh my [00:32:00] God.

Naiya: And then everyone at school is talking about how Chich and Chong like liked your comment and commented on your TikTok. Like it's still your, it's still like the same like. Sort of excitement. It's just a little different. Instead of a radio station, it's 

Dana: social media. We had no way of connecting with our celebrity crushes or anything like that.

Dana: The only way they had like a fan club in the back of the right on magazines and the word up magazines, and it would say to join LL Cool J, or Salt and Peppers fan Club, you send a $6 99 cents money order. It was all a dream. Right? But look, word up magazine. Sorry, salt, pepper, heavy D up in the limousine.

Dana: No, every 

Naiya: time, like every time you were saying word up, that was just the, 

Dana: because that he like Biggie is not, he is not telling no lies. No. Swear. So then you would do that, right? Mm-hmm. . So then you get your tape and everything's done right. That was when rappers started making sensitive songs. . My jam was ll again, [00:33:00] LL Cool Js.

Dana: I need Love. I didn't know 

Naiya: you were an LL fan 

Dana: until today. Oh, I've always loved ll Oh, all right. 

Naiya: I think he's so cute. I have the Fattest Crush on LL even, but I like him like when he's older. 

Dana: Like I, well, I just like him, period, so it doesn't even matter. And Method, man. But listen, oh, please don't get me started, please.

Dana: He had this song, I Need Love. Mm. Of, um, my, in the back of my mind, I hear my conscious call telling me I need a girl who's the sweet as a dove for the first time in my life. You see, I need love and you to 

Naiya: ding, ding d 

Dana: ding, ding, ding. And it used to be like rapping. You used to be rapping to it, right? You know how I love New Edition?

Dana: I know how you look. Can you stay in the rain? It was so good. That was when they kicked. Bobby Al and Johnny Gill. Mm-hmm. stepped in. You know about this one. This was computer love. Computer love, and these used to sound like sandpaper in the beginning. [00:34:00] Did you hear that on 

Naiya: the mic? ? It was like, 

Dana: it was Well, well good cuz it sounds like sandpaper.

Dana: Now when you think about computer love, how did he know? In in like the eighties. He was in the future. He was a genius, and so we would just make all these slow jams on it. It mix tapes and all that stuff. Yes. Then you had to get an envelope. You had to take it to the post office and get stamps. You had to mail it.

Dana: You had to mail it, so it took you three days to make the damn tape. Then it took you another day to get your parents to take you to the post office. If you're talking 12 days, two weeks later, 

Naiya: that's insane because I'm gonna tell you right now, it is. , it'll take me all of five minutes to make a playlist and send it to the guy.

Naiya: Like that 

Dana: is, so you guys, I feel like we were a patient generation. We're not. You guys are not you. You guys are impatient. Everything comes to you guys so fast. Oh, one of. And I do think that is a major difference, just not in dating. But just in life in general. Oh yeah. We had to wait for [00:35:00] everything. And that was a major one, you know, like the tape.

Dana: So life is short because you guys didn't grow up with a landline. Mm-hmm. , you guys missed the whole three-way call fiasco. The setup, like the scene in mean girls was real. Was it? Oh, it was real. Like with the landline, I've definitely done a three-way 

Naiya: call and I've definitely three-way. Different. No, it's not because I can tell you so, 

Dana: because our flip phones did 

Naiya: not, I'm about to, I'm about to reveal a secret.

Naiya: Me and my best friend, you know, who I would do this with. Mm-hmm. . So we will like, okay, so say, so-and-so has drama about so-and-so, right. Jake will call me, right? And he'll be like, oh my God, guess what? And I'm like, what? And he's like, da, da da da da with da, da da, da da. Right? So then I'll be like, oh my God.

Naiya: Okay, put yourself on mute. I'm about to call them right now. And it'll put Jake on. He'll go on mute and it'll put him on hold. Then I'll call the person on my phone and I'll be like, oh my God. Like what happened? Or like if like something happened with like two [00:36:00] people, you are so shady. Oh, it's so shady.

Naiya: Because whoever I call can't see that. Jake's on the line. Like they, but 

Dana: see, y'all have mute. We did not have mute, that's the thing. This is what we had to do. This is what it sounds like. You're, you have to take your hand and put it, it sounds like, so it was obvious that there was a third person on the phone.

Dana: Yeah. See, so either there was a third person or the on the phone, like a three-way call or your mom and dad were listening in a little cuz they would . If they be breathing all heavy, Dana, it's time they get off the phone, God, like, seriously? Or it was a setup because they were trying to cover their mouth.

Dana: Threeway is the devil, but like fear, chaos. But what I do love about a landline. Hmm. The dramatic effect of a hangup. Oh, when you slammed that, you didn't even have to slam the phone. You just hit that little button in the middle. You could feel the. When we have flip phones, [00:37:00] you could, you could do that. I want a flip phone.

Dana: Like I don't, but you understand you don't have effective hanging up. Like that is bad. And then sometimes you don't hit the button, right? You gotta hit it twice cuz it don't hang up and you miss and you just slam it out. You miss the dramatic effect of the hangup. 

Naiya: No, I want, like, one thing I'm so envious of, is that hangup?

Naiya: Yes. Like, I'm really more envious of the flip phone cuz imagine being like Bob , like, yo, you 

Dana: can't, it was, yeah. I, I think I might go get a landline. Let's go, let's, let's get, let's call. Can we get flip? I think I'd rather have a lay line and the cordless phone. I get a flip phone, so later. No. Later the cordless phone came into play.

Dana: That still wasn't the same. Okay. You just, it just wasn't attached to the wall. And you could go a couple feet from the house, . Okay. And then it would star, it literally started sounding like a CB or like a walkie-talkie. Oh my god. With like static. So then you had to back it up and you literally would know [00:38:00] where in your house or where outside, how far you could go before your phone started.

Dana: Didn't the 

Naiya: internet also make 

Dana: a. Yeah, the internet didn't come until after either late high school or college, maybe the internet. Cause we had whole, we had like, um, AOL and it was dial up. The other major difference is when we broke up with someone, we had to do it in person. It was on the bus, it was at band practice.

Dana: No shade.

Dana: I think this is the third or fourth. Like these are hard yans, too. , 

Naiya: not on the way 

Dana: to school. You started your day with drama. If you didn't ride the same bus you would meet at the locker. We usually did it in person or over the phone. Like if you just couldn't wait or if you weren't gonna see that person, you would do it over the phone.

Dana: You guys just send texts, snaps, dms. 

Naiya: No, not necessarily. Not necessarily. But another thing that I love about my [00:39:00] generation is that we are borderline F FBI detectives. Like I can figure out if you were with so-and-so and so-and-so, like if you lied to me and said you were hanging out with your friends.

Naiya: Mm-hmm. , but then you went and go saw her . Like I'll know, we'll call them straight up and be like, where are you at? Who are you with? What are you doing? Do you not have his 

Dana: location on your 

Naiya: Snapchat? Some people can turn it off and if he turns off his location, 

Dana: Is that trouble? Oh. Oh. See, we had no way of knowing any of that.

Dana: Oh. 

Naiya: Like if, okay, so usually like I have a, my own like little Life 360 circle with like my close friends that like I hang out with every day, like in case something happens. Or like, if I'm doing something shady, I don't want y'all to know about, like, I'll have like them like looking at my location. It's in case, and they'll be like, listen, like call my mom if this, if anything 

Dana: goes wrong.

Dana: No, your life 360 is always on and, and I'm not stalking it. 

Naiya: Sure is always on anyways, so basically, no, I'm just kidding. So, 

Dana: because you know that's a [00:40:00] rule. No, I know. It's a rule, so don't 

Naiya: even try it. But basically like, okay, so I have a small life 360. I have two. I think I have one with one of my friends and then one with one of my friends here.

Naiya: And then so. Like, usually like you'll have like a life 360 circle or like find my friends or Snapchat maps or something like that. And then so you'll look and you'll see like, oh, location paused. Hmm. Like exactly how it is with me. You're like, okay, well what are you doing? Or he's been in the parking lot in the, at 3:00 AM for two hours.

Naiya: What are you doing in the parking lot at 3:00 AM for two? , I can't do it anymore. And then you'll block them and then you never have to see them again until you see something on Instagram. And then you unblock them because you miss them. And then it's 

Dana: like a whole thing. We didn't have the ability to track anybody.

Dana: We didn't have the ability to do any of that. It was just a feeling. We had to go off our intuition. We had proof and receipts. No, we really didn't have proof. Sometimes you did, but for the most part, we just, yeah, this ain't working no more. And just nip it in the bud. [00:41:00] Yeah. That was our, we would take picture.

Dana: like as a couple. Mm-hmm. . But we had the disposable cameras. Oh, those are so cute. They are cute. But Nya, this is the anxiety of it all. You know how like the Kodak. . Yeah. So you would take the pictures and you'd be like, ow. You know, like you guys would be taking your cute little eighties poses and all that stuff with like matching sweaters or matching sneakers like with your neon windbreakers and all that stuff.

Dana: Ew, . Oh, naia. This was, I'm telling you, this is it. I hate the eighties. So. Oh, the eighties was listen, like acid wash 

Naiya: and ne. Windbreakers, like, are you kidding? 

Dana: Yes. Dress in Reebok 54 

Naiya: 11. You used to dress me in acid wash jeans and every day I hate you for it. Whatever. And Bermuda shorts 

Dana: and polo. Look at you now.

Dana: You survived. Save time. You survived. back to what I was saying, the cameras. Mm-hmm. , you'd be out and you'd get somebody to take your picture. Because we didn't know about the, we did not know about the selfie. Like we were not snapping ourselves. Someone else was taken. Right. [00:42:00] Someone else had to take our picture.

Dana: So you are just out there snapping and you use. All the film, right? You take it to Rite Aid. Okay. Or you'd send off, you put it in the little envelope you send off. It take a few weeks. Oh my God. It would take like a, like a week or two. Yeah. And you'd come home and you'd see the mail on the kitchen table and you'd see that bright yellow and red pack that's said Kodak on it.

Dana: You'd get so excited and you'd rip them open and none of them came out. None of them. Naya talk about. Anxiety, torture, panic. It was terrible. Like you guys can take the picture three seconds after you take the picture. You can post it. 

Naiya: Not even three seconds. The second we hit that little white button. Yes, 

Dana: it's already there.

Dana: We had to wait like it could have been a whole different season, like it's summertime and we're posing in Parker's triple fat, gooses and Timberlands. You know what I mean? Because it took that long to get the dang film back. Yeah. I just feel like you [00:43:00] guys. That downtime. Yeah. You know how when my nephew son did not wanna bring his girlfriend because he was embarrassed by the questions I would ask.

Dana: Wait, he was, do you remember that? Yeah. He, I, I didn't know he actually told you that. He, yeah, he was joking about it, but yeah, he was like, oh, I don't know Aunt Dana, I don't, I don't wanna bring her. And I was like, no, it's okay. Well, his sister ended up bringing her boyfriend 

Naiya: first. I remember that. I remember 

Dana: that she comes over and she was like, here he is, aunt Dana.

Dana: Do you wanna ask your questions? And I took it very easy on him. I only asked him maybe five or six questions we're 50 long, but it's okay. No, I did. It was only like maybe five or six questions I asked. Okay. But I have a new set of questions. Okay. And I think I should run them down because I think the next time you bring a guy home, next time,

Dana: Why? No. Are you just gonna totally skip me? Yeah, [00:44:00] why? Ask your questions. We'll see. 

Naiya: Well, no first. Well, you know, I don't bring boys home. I know why it's not you. It's dad. What about dad? Like, dad, he terrifies me. Like with boys. Like that's good. I just never 

Dana: like, no, no. These guys need to know that 

Naiya: they can't mess.

Naiya: No, they definitely, no. They know they can't mess with me. Like I very much so definitely handle my own and I don't take BS and I just feel like Dad. Hmm. It's just like a lot. Like he'd sit there with a like Smith and Wesson on the table and a wife beater with his cigar out of his mouth with Bronx on the chain, sitting back like this, being like, so, 

Dana: and as he should, should.

Dana: I'm like, yo, what? 

Naiya: That's wild. As he should out. You're 

Dana: Because while he's businessman, while he's doing that, oh, he is a businessman. But don't, don't get it twisted. And while he's over there looking all crazy, I've got my list of questions. Read 'em. Okay. Are you ready? [00:45:00] No, seriously. Are you ready for these?

Dana: Yeah. Okay. It's just a couple. Oh, okay. Okay. Number one, what's your credit score? We're how long? Ha, excuse me. We're 18. You still have credit. How long have you been with your current employer? Is your family super religious? Is that Holiness, Pentecostal, religious, or just go to church? Wednesday. And Sunday.

Dana: Religious. Where do you see yourself in five years? How did you two. What are your intentions with my daughter? How much do you think I weigh? ? How much do you watch? Oh my God. What kind of do you watch? Oh my God. Have you ever been to jail? Are you an effective communicator? It was just that one. Have you ever had an s t d?

Dana: What do your parents do for a living? Is the family power bill is in your name? Oh my God. How does your mama feel about my daughter? That's so valid. Can you provide three quotes by m l? Do you have kids? If so, how many were [00:46:00] you married? If not, how many baby mamas do you have? How old do you think I am?

Dana: What's the last book you read? Why did your last relationship end? Have you ever put hands on a girl? Have the police ever been called to your home? If so, why? And did anyone get carted off? ? What's your relationship with your mom like on Thanksgiving? Turkey trot, or do you drink bottom list Mimosas and watch the Macy's Day Thanksgiving parade.

Dana: That's so true. These are all a few valid questions. See, 

Naiya: credit score, we're like fresh out of high school, like freshman year of college. Mm-hmm. , like, I'm not dating like a 25 year old man. No. Second. All you still have credit are, are we married? Like we're, I don't have credit right now. Mom, you. Oh, period.

Naiya: Um, also, um, you just don't have to ask them about and if they, what type of [00:47:00] they watch 

Dana: everyone watches First of all, no, they don't. And number two, I can ask whatever he's dating my daughter. 

Naiya: That's so true. But I just feel like some of these much love, like, let me see. No. 

Dana: Ooh, ooh. No ma'am. 

Naiya: Yeah. Some of these are a.

Naiya: or a little 

Dana: much then I'm a lot. It's deal You're you're special deal with it. 

Naiya: Yeah. No thanks. Deal with it. I'll just stick to how my life is going right now. Thank you. 

Dana: As many differences as we have between Gen X and Gen Z. Mm-hmm. , I think there are a lot of similarities. Really liked having this conversation with you.

Naiya: Oh, I did 

Dana: too. I thought it was fun. I do love how we are able to have these conversations with each other. Right. Very openly. So. 

Naiya: Thank you. I liked it. I thought there was, it was really insightful to see like the things that you did when you were my age. Like I always, I always say I wish I could go back in [00:48:00] time and be like the same age as you.

Naiya: Like I can just imagine like the two of us at 18 

Dana: together, we would have fun as friends. Like we would, even if you were the same age each other or hate each other. We probably love and hate each other all at the same time. 

Naiya: Like we, I feel like we would be such good friends. We would like, I swear we would and I would, I would've never let you have that jury.

Dana: I just would've settled for a less dry Jerry Curl. No, 

Naiya: I would've never let you walk out of that house with that Jerry Curl. Well, 

Dana: this is the thing. Anaya, me having a Jerry curl, it kind of humbled me. like, yeah, yeah, it's okay. Yeah.

Naiya: This was very, very insightful and I hope you guys enjoyed, so thank you so much and we'll see you guys next time. That was my ears 

Dana: hurt. Really? Yeah. Maybe cuz you were yawning, but maybe cuz this 

Naiya: took freaking an hour. 

Dana: Why was that so much fun though? It