Looking Beyond the Ribbon to Tackle Financial Toxicity

In 2013, Bobbie Menneg was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer and had 15 positive lymph nodes removed, but fortunately, did not develop lymphedema. With a strong family history of breast and kidney cancer, she hesitated to pursue genetic testing—until a doctor encouraged her to take the step. After falling down the "Dr. Google" rabbit hole, she realized it wasn't what she needed. Confident in her medical team, she fully trusted that they were providing the best possible care. Her message? Advocate for yourself, build a care team you trust, and always come prepared with questions for your doctors.

Recognizing that many patients needed financial support beyond medical expenses, she founded Beyond the Ribbon. The organization helps ease the burden by covering everyday bills, providing medical equipment, and offering gift cards for groceries, gas, etc. She’s seen the stress visibly lift from patients’ shoulders as they receive much-needed support.

Transcript

 Hello, everyone. I am so excited for our guest today, Bobbie Menneg. Bobbie, why don't you say hello? 

Well, hello,  how are you, dear?

 I'm good.    So, what I am excited about, aside from Bobbie's story, is we are both from Georgia and we know each other. What? So, the Southern Belles are in the house today. 

 Yes, we, are

So, Bobbie,  why don't you tell us a little bit about your story? breast cancer diagnosis because you do have a family history and would love to hear a little bit more about that and ultimately how you found out what you were diagnosed with. 

okay, so, , I am a 13 year triple negative breast cancer survivor, and, , my mother was diagnosed, I'm not sure what type, but she was diagnosed with breast cancer probably 15, 16 years ago.  , she made it through fine. , and then we had a had an aunt on her side that was diagnosed with colon cancer, , many years ago.

  And then my sister, one of my sisters was diagnosed with lung cancer. Three years ago and, , unfortunately she was diagnosed much too late and within 30 days, , she had passed. She didn't even get to do any treatments or anything, so that was very, , life altering.

I bet.

, and then about a year and a half ago, my brother was diagnosed with kidney cancer.

And because of how the tumor was located, they had to go in and remove one of his kidneys.  And unfortunately, now his other kidney is failing. So he's got to go on dialysis , and look for a kidney. So, , Yeah, been a journey, .

I mean that is, that is a lot of cancer. ,  In your family,  especially immediate family because I too had a lot of cancer in my immediate family So did you receive genetic testing? 

You know, , when I first talked to my doctor and a genetic specialist, , they were both going, you need to do it, you need to do it, , more so because it was triple negative.  , and so I kept going. I don't know. I don't know. , I was one of those wanted to stick my head in the sand.  , and then finally I had changed gynecologist and she's like, Oh, no, you're doing this.

I was like, Oh, 

Sometimes we need a doctor to be like yeah, yeah, you're gonna do this

Yes. , from that moment on, I go, okay, I need one of those doctors that are gonna push me over the edge. , I guess I was always afraid, , of the unknown, but. , the other part of it, , it's helpful for your siblings, , and your children, and , I was finding all these excuses not to do it.

, and shame on me, because every time I meet someone diagnosed with cancer and I know they have children, I go, have you done genetic testing? So I was like, okay, , I'm not, , walking the talk, , like I should be. So I did and, ,  weirdly enough, .  There was nothing unusual in it, which is a little more puzzling considering  I was diagnosed with triple negatives.

So, yeah, , still do your genetic testing, people.

Yes. I do think it's important. , and it is definitely scary of the unknown, but like you said, it's when someone gets a cancer diagnosis in the family, it's not just about you either anymore. ,  I find it so interesting that, .  Like you , it didn't come back as hereditary But it is very curious because there's so much cancer There's got to be some sort of link that just has not been found yet.

Yeah, absolutely. And I think when I was originally diagnosed, , , you were getting tested for BRCA genes.

Mm hmm.

And then they started testing for a 32 panel. And I think this one that I did was like a 96 panel. So it was pretty big. And to think, , still there was nothing there is, is just,  so we still got a ways to go in the cancer world.

Most definitely so Bobbie Once you got your triple negative breast cancer diagnosis  What was your  treatment like   walk us through those early days? 

. I remember my husband  traveled and he had come home that night  ,  , and of course , my emotions, , took over and my first thought is I'm going to die.

Mm hmm. 

And , I'm a mother , and I was like, Oh my God, , I want to see my child  grow up and, and do all those things. , , I was petrified. Yeah, it was scary.

Yeah, how did you end up telling your child? 

Well, , he was in the house at that time and, , he came down and I just immediately hugged him and was crying. , . He was there every step of the way, , because my husband traveled. , he was great. He never showed, , fear or anything, and he was super supportive.

, as you know,  So important to have a great support system when you go through this journey. And, , I was super fortunate there. Super fortunate. 

 What kind of options were you presented with your treatment plan and , did you  feel good about that or did it really weigh on you on which type of surgery or treatments to go with? 

Yeah. So I remember, , my sister and my husband, , we went to see the oncologist together and, , they're like, you know, bringing stacks of books and got notes galore and I'm just sitting there squeezing my little sister's hand and so they're asking all these questions and, , the doctor's like, , , we called him Dr.

serious because he was always, Very serious. , so we're sitting there asking him all these questions and,  my husband says, well, , what is the chance she's gonna live? And the doctor looks at him like, , why are you asking that with her in the room? 

Oh, dear.



So, he just said, look, we're going to throw what we have at you and, , we'll see where we are on the other side. So, I did a lumpectomy.  And then, , because we didn't get clear margins, went back in and had, , 15 lymph nodes removed. The sentinel was positive.

Oh.

then we did six rounds of chemo and four of those were with the red devil.

Oh, that devil. 

red devil  and then did 33 radiation. ,

 You know, , we kind of had a,  similar,  type of, , breast surgery, , but I did not have any lymph nodes, , that were positive. , do you suffer from lymphedema? 

no, I am so lucky there. ,  Because, , having that many removed is your have a higher chances. So, , knock on wood. I have not had issues. Yes. ,  So, when I see ladies now, one of the first things I tell them is get your arm measured now, why it's normal, so they have a baseline for you going forward.

And, , I didn't know, but that can happen anytime. It can happen 20 years later.

Yeah.  Yeah. That's what's so, , mind boggling about lymphedema, , because even if you didn't have, , 15 that you had removed, I mean, that's a lot, , but, , We're all at risk even having like the Sentinel node removed and  a few others and like you said it could happen  years later  With lymphedema but that's really good advice.

I had never really thought about that is taking measurements  to have that baseline just in case That's good.   You had mentioned, , previously when we were chatting about going down the rabbit hole of Dr. Google and, , how did you feel with like your medical team?

Because, , we get a lot of information and words  thrown at us and, , how did you cope with all of that? 

,  So, you know, I made the mistake  of let me Google triple negative and I mean, it was like, I'm gonna die. There's just no hope. I'm gonna die.  And I was like, okay, I have to put that away. , I can't do that. And they'd also given me , a breast cancer book and started reading that.

I was like, okay, ,  it's not bedtime reading. , I just felt so confident  in my medical team  that I was never concerned.  , , and you know that, because you,  had a,  wow,  , you learned how to be your own advocate. , and you always come to my mind, , when I'm talking to other patients about being your own advocate.  , because  you know your body best  and you know when something's not right. And so often  diagnosis get put off because our medical profession is not listening to us.

Right. 

, I just, talked to a mom over the weekend that her 17 year old son has been diagnosed with stage four head and neck cancer.

And she said, we went a year  just going back and forth.  About this and then they finally, , said, oh, okay, let's look at this.  So, , you just have to be your own advocate. , who cares if you make 'em mad? It's your life.

Right. Exactly.

Yeah,

It's your patient right to get pushy , when you, ,, feel very strongly that something is not right. , what made your team,  or what made them so trustworthy to you? Because I feel like that is a, , something that physicians who are listening to this, maybe like what kind of message would you love for them to hear in this episode about what made your medical team so trustworthy? 

I think, , the biggest thing is you have to feel comfortable with them and, and my doctor might not be a good fit for you. , so you definitely got to find your,  jam with them. , and. ,  Like I said, we called my doctor, Dr. serious, because he never cracked a smile or anything when we were in the room with him.

But every time I did my follow up with him, I always gave him a hug.  And  that personal one on one time, when it was just me and him, I knew. That he always had my best interest.  , same thing with our radiologist. She is like the queen of breast here in Gwinnett County, Dr. Maxa.  , she's fabulous.

She takes her time with you. She will fight for you. , that's one of the things, have a doctor that's going to take time. I know they're super busy and you have to respect their time. So have a list of questions when you go in.

That's right.

, you know, be concise about what you want to ask them and your fears.

, , they respect you and go on, Okay, we're a team, we're working together, and I'm going to give them my time because I know mentally that's important to them.  So, yeah, you just, you got to find that doctor that you click with and you totally trust because they're the captain of this ship that you're getting ready to ride the rough seas on,

hmm exactly , and it is okay if you're like, you know what i'm not exactly clicking with this person , or wanting to get a second opinion  and it's not about trying to prove  that first doctor wrong. It's really about  almost  confirming or that other one might have different insights ,  you mentioned your doctor serious my , breast cancer surgeon Her personality, like, she was so fantastic.

Talk about  full of life, but also understanding the weight, , like literally and figuratively of decisions We had to make and, , procedures, et cetera. We're all hearing, , A lot of a lot of terminology   And she was just amazing at like breaking it down without  being condescending or insulting my intelligence  and figuring out  how far up in the science that she could get where I could still understand it , but I love the idea and I do the same too write now those questions and I I like to say what are  the top three that  You're like, I cannot walk out until I have  answers to these and then  the others not put in the portal or something. 

Right.

So, I want to ask you now,  ,  What happened once you were done with treatment? Because we're going to get into how  you started a non profit, but I want to talk about  , what made you want to start a non profit and then we'll get more into the details of exactly what Beyond the Ribbon does. 

Yeah, , you never ever  would I have imagined where I am now.  , I volunteered with other bigger organizations  and, , volunteered at our infusion centers and  I just began to notice there is such a need out there  for support,  for  Finding out the right questions to ask,  and just, oh my goodness, the help that people need. 

,  It's so eye opening for me.  And, , once again, I was talking to a lady about starting Beyond the Ribbon, and, , I thought we were in the talking stage  and the next thing I know, she calls me up. She says, okay, you're set up. And I was like, oh,  okay.  . , but it was once  again, , , I needed somebody to do that push .

 You know, I remember your stories, Meg, and I was so lucky  with my medical team, my support system, , just everything, super lucky. And I can't imagine  all the tests that you had to go through  to finally get some answers.  And,  I know you, you have felt this, that so often when we get through our treatments, people go, Okay, they're done. 

I'm done too with this little, , game we've been playing. And, , it never ends. It's life changing, especially when you have to go in for those tests once a year, or, , however often you have to go.  I'd be lying if I didn't say still 13 years out, , when I go in for that mammogram, or get blood work done, that it's not nerve wracking.

yeah, that scanxiety is still there, yeah.

Yes. 

, , once you've entered that, , survivorship stage and it does feel like you've just been tossed out and now we got to go focus on the people that do have cancer. And one of the ways, and I don't even remember how I even met actually, but  what I love about what your nonprofit does for  all of us here in Georgia.

,  It's helping financially because so many people are always concerned about and I mean, of course, you should be of like your treatments, but We still have  the regular bills don't stop   we still need  to pay our rent or a mortgage food Utilities, so can you talk to us a little bit about that?

  What made it your mission to help others in this very specific way? 

, so, you know, it's tough especially you're you're a single lady 

Thanks, thanks for that reminder there. 

no, no. Hey, hey guys. She's a cutie    adorable.  , if you're a single person, if you're a two, , income family, , a single mom, and then you get this thrown at you, and you physically cannot work,  you need help.

Yeah, 

.  It just boggles my mind that as big as cancer is, you, it is so hard to find help. So hard.  And if you can,  A, it's going to be very, very limited in the dollar amount, but it's also limited in what it will pay for.  , well, okay, you're only going to help me with rent, utilities, and maybe a grocery gift card.

Well, I need my car.

yeah,

I need my car insurance.  I need my cell phone bill.  , you know, I may need some medical supplies. I may need a prescription that's not covered.  So all these things that people don't think about,  it's very costly.  And so that was my big thing was I'm not gonna put parameters on what I will pay for. 

, because they need help. 

yeah.  And I think, too,  especially in that survivorship stage, because, , for a lot of us, it's because of our cancers and the toxic treatments and the multiple surgeries that we now have new health issues that we never thought we would have, and how that adds on to that financial toxicity.  You know?

yes, 

, so Tell us a little bit more about like what is Beyond the Ribbon's mission and it is Georgia based, right? 

yes,

 So talk to us a little bit about that and give some examples of  some of the the people that you've helped 

,  So, you know, I started out and I was like, okay, I'm going to focus in Gwinnett. And then, , I was like, okay, I can't just do breast cancer.

.  I have never turned anyone down.  , I work with them. I know other resources. So I tell them, , go to these other places first.

See what they will cover. And then let's come back to me and I'll come. , cover some of those things that they want.  , like I said, I just went and talked to this mother of the son over the weekend  and I sat there for an hour talking to her  just because she needed to talk  and she said, , I've never talked to anyone.

This entire time, you were the first person I've done that with.  , I got ready to leave. And what was so nice is I went, I tried to make home visits  because I got to meet her young daughter and, , brought her a little present to, , let her know , she's important too.

And the son came down and I got to meet him and talk with him a little bit.  And, , , she had to quit her job  because she's , gotta make sure he's taken care of and now she's lost her car

Oh 

Because she wasn't working and so I'm like, how are you getting him to his appointments? 

And she said we do over and I was like, oh my god

my gosh

You know, , how costly is that?  , those are the stories that people don't hear. I went and saw another mother.  , she's, like, maybe 50 ish. She has a 25 year old, a 22 year old, and a 17 year old.  Um, stage 4 stomach cancer.  And, ,  Her daughter had to help her get up and,  she came, sat on the sofa and I sat there and I talked to her for an hour. 

, and I said, , how are the kids?  And she said, well, , the oldest one I told right off,  the two younger ones were still in school. So I waited, she waited like three months  before she told them.

Whoa.

And she said, yeah, you know, they're scared  and, , I say, well, how are you? 

, and I see tears come in her eyes and she said, I just want to see my babies graduate. I want to see my kids get married.  And, , I hear that so often.  , those are the stories that people just don't hear. , and I said, well, what can I do for you? And,  you know, she had a feeding tube.

So , I purchased,  a case of it. It's like 55. Well, insurance doesn't cover that.  , I go online and order two cases and, , she also needs medical supplies. So I asked her daughter, I said send me pictures so I get the right stuff for you and I'll go on Amazon and order that and have it shipped to you.

So those are the things that we do that are very different and we help with those expensive things.  Items that they're not going to get help with

 or you're waiting on disability to kick in or, you know, ugh. 

 , if you think you're going to get on disability, , in a reasonable, that is not gonna happen. If, best case, you got two years.  , the law did change where if you're metastatic breast or ovarian that you can get on in six months,  but I'm thinking about how about this stage four stomach cancer?

, or this other gentleman was pancreatic, ?  They literally will die before they can get on that.  , these are the stories people don't realize, they don't understand.  And  to get attention about it is just It's like you going back to your doctors and saying, Pay attention to me!

Yes,

You know?

yes,  and it's it's such a important point of not everything is covered like it's once you get that diagnosis you really get a huge lesson and  what is you know good quote unquote insurance what is bad insurance  understanding, , deductibles and all of that.

, sometimes I'll be surprised by what is not covered. And I'm just like, , but this is needed in order to help me stay alive or to heal. How is that not covered? And the astronomical amount and how hard it is, right, for people to even ask for financial help? How do you help combat that and get people to actually say, what is it that you need? 

 I hear that so much more often than you would think,  and I always say this is why I'm doing this, and they go, oh, somebody else needs it worse, I'm like, no, you need it, you let me do this, and, , it's kind of like a soft sell to them, and I say, well, how about this, yeah, Let me buy a hundred dollar grocery gift card.

You tell me where you want it from. I go online do email Send it to them and they're like you can just see the relief. They're like, oh my god. Thank you And I said see 

Mm hmm!

can do this.  I know  that you know women  It's harder for them to ask for help

Yep. 

and so they don't want to do that  especially if they're a mom  They just feel like, , I've been this strong warrior  all this time and now I feel so Beaten down  and  I just don't feel like I should ask for help,  and then you get thrown this curveball  and, , not wanting to ask for help and then , you get it and then you go, oh wow.

This is such a relief. I can feed myself. I can get some, , fresh fruit and, and, , nutritious food , or something to help with neuropathy, you know? , it's such a relief and , they always say, how am I going to pay you back? And I said, when you get through , this journey, you know, the medical part,  ,  And you get to the other side, I said, just come back and volunteer.  tell your story. Your story will be so impactful   that's how you can pay me back.  Because your story can make a difference in another person's life.   Then they go, oh, okay, I can do that, . And I know you know that  when you're able to tell your story and just how strong and resilient you have been and where you are now, being this huge advocate, , for breast cancer patients,  I know how much joy that gives you.

And you know how much a difference it makes. Difference you make in these women's lives  that you just go well I didn't really want to do that journey, but i've done that journey and i'm kicking butt on the other side You know curly hair and all miss meg  , it's just, for me, it's like, I always think of cancer patients, it's like these caterpillars. 

And then when they get to the other side, they become this beautiful butterfly. And Meg, , your wings flutter high. Because I see , where you have come, I've watched your journey, and it is so impactful what you do. And, , I know you have made a huge difference in so many people's lives. 

, stop making me cry here. Oh my God. Thank you.  Thank you, Bobbie. , you know, cause sometimes you do wonder if you're making an impact, ,  because  there's just always so much more to do, . And as I think about  the people  and the families that you have helped and .  I think it's so important that people who  were not.

Hit with the supreme financial toxicity acknowledge that it exists and you acknowledge that and we're like I have to do something about this so then I think to myself okay Bobbie what do you do to fill. And refill over and over again your cup, because I think about the times you're talking with people and families , an hour here, two hours there, doing all this stuff with Beyond the Ribbon, how do you refill and continue to refill your cup?

You

Um,  .  We helped another mom , , she went through, , reconstructive surgery. Now, this is like a year out from her treatments.  And, , so , we're adopting , her two kids. for back to school  and , she needed help with her car insurance, I believe.

And so I paid it for and she's like,  I can't thank you enough.  , you doing this is giving me breathing room and, letting me just have like a burden has been lifted off and that honestly, that's what refills , my cup. And , when I go to these families and I see these little kids , I get invited to their weddings now.

And so that's really all I need. . And it just brings me so much joy. 

are definitely, , a ray of sunshine. , and , I think to myself, , how hard it has been to ask for help and like that relief of that stress.  . ,  I appreciate you shouting out like the single people too, because I do feel we often get left out because we'll be like, well, we,  shouldn't ask for help because, , someone else, they've got like kids, or they got this, and it's like, you know what?

Every person who is diagnosed with cancer, we all deserve help. the help. We deserve to have that kind of major financial stress taken off of us so we can actually focus  on the healing. 

  , like you say, the single people are like, oh my god, they don't have  any, but, I mean, , I know your mom's around, , but still, it's like, you are in this little bubble by yourself,  and , Yeah, I see it a lot, and I just go, God, I can't imagine,  , having to be in that situation, and you have been your sole provider,  , what do you do now, you know, so it's, Yeah,  it's tough.

 So, so my intake form, , all I have is like your personal information,  the type of cancer you have, what stage and what treatment you are. I don't ask.  , how old you are, or, ,  what your race is, I don't care, you are a person with cancer. 

And that is all that matters. . You are someone who's hurting, , emotionally, physically, financially, and you need help.  , so often the world gets caught up in all that, and you forget just to look at the person.  You know, 

I'm just getting,  I'm like getting teary eyed again. , it is so true, right? Cause at the end of the day, , we are humans. , and , we're deserving , of this help. Right.   , how did you handle like the, I hate the term new normal, or like your, I like to say new routine.

, you mentioned something that Robin Roberts, , mom said. Do you remember

yeah, make your mess your message

Yeah. 

 My story's changed daily.  And so what I love doing is I'm the messenger for my patients  because most of them will not tell their story and they don't know how to be their own advocate.  So  , I feel honored. That I get to tell their message.  So people listen. 

 It's like the kindness that you have that is so natural and that empathy. And I like to tell people all the time too, that I don't need to be able to walk in your shoes to know that you are hurting or that you need help finding your voice and amplifying your voice. And that is why we are here.

And I feel like, .  Even how we still talk and connect and everything is that you really see people and you have that empathy and at the end of the day,  we are humans.   ,  That are not just talking the talk, but walking the walk. 

 I'm so glad that our paths have crossed because  I can tell my patient story. To your platform and because of that, you and I are going to make a difference by doing that.  , and I'm grateful that you invited me on. , I went to an event  and it's called recast here in Lawrenceville.

And it was so interesting because  it basically boiled down to Everybody has a story,

Yes.

and everybody deserves to have a seat at the table,  and they deserve to be heard.  And I was like, wow, if we all could do that, and not judge anyone, but just to see in their heart, in their eyes,  they have a story.  And just stop and listen, because , your life will be enriched.

by someone's story. , and I know, Meg, your story just enriches people all the time. , you really do, and just , you being the advocate that you are for the breast cancer community and , how you thought because you knew what you wanted to do and be  and you fought to get to where you are and honestly, I can't wait to see where you're going in the future.

You know, from here, but you know, you are a perfect example of  found your new normal, if you will. It was something you always wanted to do, but your journey gave you the strength to get you to where you are now. , whoever's listening, , , you couldn't have told me 13 years ago that I would have a nonprofit making a difference, you know, believe in your heart and your passion.

And, , take those setbacks that, , like we had and put your boots on and let's go, ,  let's go take some names, , cause I know Ms. Meg, you can. 

As I like to say, I, I've turned my lemons into, , lemon martinis. 

Yeah! 

 Our stories matter. , and it's so important that we get these stories out, that we get stories out of people who decided to, you know what? I'm going to  make some changes and go into advocacy, but I also want to make sure I tell others like, you don't have to do anything big once you, you know, if you are able to complete treatment and enter that survivorship stage,  you don't have to do something super huge as an advocate. There's so many elements of it. , to me, advocacy means, , asking a friend for a ride  or advocacy means, , reaching out to, , if you're in Georgia, reaching out to Bobbie at Beyond the Cancer.

Like that is advocacy. , , I like to say the arena is big enough for us all. 

You definitely have your own arena, but I love it. tiaras it all, girl. 

I just got two new ones. Oh,  well, Bobbie, thank you so, so much. , I'm excited that us as Southern Bells got to have a little, little tete a tete as I call it. , and that we have still remained in touch all these years.  

 Yes, me too, me 

too.