Stacked Keys Podcast
The idea to talk to women who are out there living and making a difference is where the Stacked Keys Podcast was born. There are women who make a difference, but never make a wave while paddling through life. Immediately I can think of a dozen or more who impacted me, but I want more. I want to talk to those I don't know and I want to share with an audience that might need the inspiration to find their own beat. This podcast is to feature women who are impressive in the work world-- or in raising a family -- or who have hobbies that can make us all be encouraged. Want to hear what makes these women passionate and get up in the morning or what they wish they had known earlier in life? Grab your keys and STOMP to your own drum.
Stacked Keys Podcast
Episode 204 -- Jenny Stubbs -- Revitalizing Community Spirit: Passion, Resilience, and Personal Growth in Wetumpka
What happens when a small town's heartbeat synchronizes with the passion of a dedicated individual? Jenny Stubbs, the first director of Main Street Wetumpka, knows the answer. We sit down with Jenny to uncover her incredible journey in breathing new life into downtown Wetumpka, Alabama. Her story is one of deep community connection and resilience, having faced both natural disasters and global challenges. From overcoming project stalls to leveraging the power of a televised opportunity, Jenny's experiences offer insights into balancing dreams with reality, family with career, and aspirations with the unique history of Wetumpka.
As the conversation unfolds, we explore the emotional layers of facing fears and finding strength. Jenny shares her personal philosophies, revealing how her mantras have evolved over time to guide her through life's chaos, including the challenges of parenting a child with type one diabetes. We delve into the role of mentorship and the unwavering support from loved ones that propels us forward in difficult times. From the impact of a mother's wisdom to the comforting presence of a good mentor, these relationships highlight the importance of community and trust in navigating the complexities of life.
Finally, we cherish the beauty of life's simple pleasures and examine the difference between wants and needs. Through discussions on travel, family, and the art of living well, we reflect on how past experiences prepare us for future challenges. Together, we explore the enriching moments that bring joy and the importance of maintaining individuality amidst life’s various roles. Join us in this heartfelt conversation as we celebrate passion, resilience, and the unyielding spirit of a community determined to thrive.
Music "STOMP" used by permission of artist Donica Knight Holdman and Jim Huff
I'm walking all alone down my yellow brick road and I stomp to the beat of my own drum. I got my pockets full of dreams and they're busting at the seams going boom, boom, boom.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Stacked Keys Podcast. I'm your host, amy Stackhouse. This is a podcast to feature women who are impressive in the work world or in raising a family, or who have hobbies that make us all feel encouraged. Want to hear what makes these women passionate to get up in the morning, or what maybe they wish they'd known a little bit earlier in their lives.
Speaker 1:Grab your keys and stomp to my own drum. Whatever you do, it ain't nothing on me, cause I'm doing my thing and I hold the key to all my wants and all my dreams Like an old song everything will be alright.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm super excited today I have Jenny Stubbs with us. Welcome, Jenny. Thank you Great to be here. Well, I'm really excited to talk about just all things in life. You're involved in so many things that it's hard to. I feel fortunate that we pinned you down and have been able to get an interview, so we will get started with our conversation and right out of the gate, Jenny, tell me how people know you, both personally and professionally.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's a great question. Well, for talking in terms of Elmore County, I grew up here, moved back in 2010 with my own family and we quickly, with four kids in tow, got into the community. And then, in 2016, after the Main Street Wetumpka organization was created, I became its first director and I would say a great deal of people got to know me through that venture. Specifically, it was a one employee organization, so everything we did was through volunteers and the community and it was a wonderful way to really get my fingers into everything and get to know a lot of wonderful people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wow, you hit the ground running coming into that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, wow, that you hit the ground running coming into that. Oh, absolutely so. I actually at the time had had created a magazine for the Joy to Life Foundation. I don't know if you're familiar with that breast cancer organization statewide Joy and Dickie Blondheim they're wonderful, and I was editor at this time for about five years of their quarterly Joy to Life magazine, a whole living magazine. And I was actually approached to become the interim director because at the time they had gone through the interview process. They narrowed it down to what they thought was the right person and that particular individual ended up getting a bump in their salary and staying at their current job. And so they approached me, just said, listen, we have to start.
Speaker 3:Because in October was when all of the designation procedures began with the Main Street Alabama Network and I said, okay, well, let's do this. I'll start with you and we'll get through the streetscape, because those are never easy in any town, if you're familiar with streetscapes. They tear up the roads, they tear up the sidewalks and they just redo everything. And then the streetscape was stalled for about two years and at that juncture I knew I had to make a decision if I was going to, you know, decide to commit to the mission and move forward using that momentum that we had built together, or leave, and then they kind of have to start all over and by this point I think this was Wetumpka's fourth try at a downtown revitalization plan and so I decided to move forward and wow, wow, I could not have imagined the journey that was to come.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, well, that takes some tenacity on your part. I mean, stalls are never fun, so were you equipped for that, had you? You've already been kind of in this professional world where things don't always go your way, but yet you still have a deadline. So, how do you handle stalls?
Speaker 3:Oh goodness. Well, what I've learned about Main Street in particular is just very quickly. So Main Street works through a four point approach. So when they designate a community they say here's the four points you need to focus on and that's going to help with your revitalization learned in the beginning that that four-point approach didn't mean much unless you were willing and able to customize it to your particular community's identity.
Speaker 3:And because I was so familiar with Wetumpka, having grown up there my grandfather was you know, it's the county seat. My grandfather was the probate judge for 24 years. My dad's law office was downtown, so I literally grew up on the streets of downtown, it felt like. And because I was familiar with the identity and I had such a passion to see it happen, that, in my opinion, is really what got me through.
Speaker 3:Because I don't want to kid anyone, I did not want to take this job because I was well aware of the mental, emotional, physical drain it was going to not only put on me but how it would affect my family in the process, because it's a never-ending job. You know you are the only employee responsible for essentially bringing this heart of the community back to life and I certainly wasn't going to do it myself, but I don't think unless they had someone in that position that really had a passion for it was it going to happen. And you know that's a really long way of saying I think that's how we made it through the stall is we were committed to the cause and we knew that there was light at the end of that tunnel if we could just keep chugging along.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, Well, and you mentioned right out there of the family balance and knowing what it was going to cost you know, both in your your time, but also in your family time. So are you a believer in work family balance? Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 3:Yes, amen to the work family balance. But I also recognize what a challenge it is to maintain it. It's really, it's not something that you are able to find, maintain and just keep that equilibrium going. It really is. Every day you're balancing the scales. It's just in terms of what lies heavier on the scales that day. That's what changes. But I don't. I think it can be very damaging to a person and their relationships unless they're somehow able to find that balance. And of course, your balance is based on your priorities too. And you know, as a mom of four kids and I had a great example of a mom I have five siblings she was an incredibly talented nurse who chose to stay home with us. But, you know, later in life took on some pretty challenging work as a nurse and she was she was a great example to me. So I definitely leaned on on that experience I'd had growing up with her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and do you think that sometimes it can give you your kids by them seeing you involved in such an outward project? Do you think that it gives them something kind of to grow on within their own individual lives?
Speaker 3:kind of to grow on within their own individual lives, definitely. You know, I got married young and I in the beginning I sort of lost my own identity. I just it just sort of morphed into being a mom and a wife and I in a way forgot that I had my own dreams, my own ambitions, and when I took this job I was forced to become that forward-facing individual and it helped me remember that that was very much the case. I was an individual who happened to be a mother and a wife and those were incredibly important aspects of my identity, but they weren't the only parts of who I was. And so, yeah, I do think it's helped my kids to recognize that their dreams are important. They do have other responsibilities or will have other responsibilities, and it's up to them to find that balance for themselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you said something, becoming that forward-facing person. I like that. I like that. What are you kind of hanging that on the forward-facing?
Speaker 3:Just moving forward, and not only moving forward but but understanding that what you're putting out there is what people are going to see. And you know, yeah, I've done different things in my life professionally, but obviously being this the director of Main Street with Tom goes was a very indelible experience in my life and I learned from the get go that there was such a power in positivity because there was also a great power in negativity, and it was all about perspective. And you know, I felt like if I just kept going and ignored the noise, eventually people would see it from my perspective, and so I think that that, of course, I had to have results because of the other forward facing people who were also keeping me afloat, staying positive and staying committed to the mission and the potential that they saw in our main street. And so I guess that's really what it boils down to is how do you want to present yourself to other people? And that's only going to work if you are bought in yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, I've actually heard that about you of like you're positive, you're enthusiastic, you you present in such a positive way that people can't help but jump on your train and so yeah, yeah, we'll send him that clip right there. But you were instrumental in bringing the hometown show to Wetumpka and part of that was they were interviewing and looking for towns that had people, that had believers and already had something in the works and going. Can you share just a little bit about that experience for us?
Speaker 3:Sure, the HGTV beginnings. Yeah, as you can imagine, it felt like winning the lottery, first of all. And they did tell us, point blank we can't go into a place and fix everything. Like you said, it has to be somewhere that's been working and has found some degree of success. And we we, going back to that identity and familiarization with it we had found some a degree of success in an art history trail that we'd created. It was called the Tula-Toma Snail Trail. It's still there, it's, you know, it's just this, this trail that people can go on to learn about the, the identity, past and present and hopefully future, of Wetumpka. And we, by doing that trail, it was basically a cultivating place project, which meant that we would go into these public spaces that were underutilized and needed some work and we would beautify them and make them usable, whether it was with seating or art or greenscapes, things like that. And so there was a very visible effect of the work that we had done, and I don't have to tell you, you know, seeing is believing, and because we had a very tangible product, people were really starting to buy in. And that's when that momentum started picking up and things started moving in the right direction.
Speaker 3:Now, of course, it wasn't long into that and we experienced the tornado downtown, which was very disheartening. I think it destroyed about 30 different buildings. We're very fortunate in that no one was injured we had no fatalities so that was such a huge blessing. But some of the most historic structures downtown that were very visual and identifiable to our downtown were destroyed, and so we felt like, what do we do here? But we kind of spun it around, we used it. Then we had the pandemic, and while the start of the pandemic was going is when we were approached you know we had submitted a video they had gotten back in touch with us and once we confirmed this wasn't some sort of mean joke, this was real that the producers actually came and met with myself and Shelly Whitfield, who had been the director of the chamber, I think for about eight or nine months by that point.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, yeah, so yeah, that was fun. That was a baptism by fire there, really, and luckily, fire hose do you.
Speaker 3:And if you even know, shelly knows that she is quite the fire hose and she is good for the energy to bring along. And basically we just bled our hearts out and really just explained to them, because I remember there was a moment when we were giving them this tour of downtown and the places we thought would be significant for the show, and they said, well, you know, it sounds like you have it figured out. Why do you need it? Why do you even need us? And we thought, oh no, we thought we were doing the right thing.
Speaker 3:And then we explained well, you have a platform, we want to show everybody our downtown, we want everybody to love it like we do. But you know, we have word of mouth and some social media platforms with a few thousand people on them and that's about the extent of what we have. So it was a very surreal process. It really, you know, until they started filming, and even then it just didn't seem like a dream.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a dream that kept you up at night.
Speaker 3:For a very long time, because you know I would meet with with church groups and you know Kiwanis Club, lions Club, you know Civitan Club places would ask me to come talk about downtown. But then of course, at the end they would bombard me with questions about HGTV and I would be lying if I said I was afraid the whole time of how they would present us. I knew HGTV was a quality network that produced great community building programming, but I also knew it was still, at the end of the day, reality TV, unscripted TV, as they called it and I didn't know if they were going to portray us as you know, some backwater, uh, ignorant folks who didn't know what they were doing. I just had every hope that they wouldn't and I and I had every reason to believe that they wouldn't. I just had every hope that they wouldn't and I and I had every reason to believe that they wouldn't. But there was always that lingering fear.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, that definitely kept me up at night for a very long time, and I wish that it hadn't, because I think I could have enjoyed the process a lot more than I actually did. But of course we we filmed during the pandemic too, so that made it quite uncomfortable. Literally We'd have to go downtown and get our nose swab for COVID testing every single morning of filming and you can't really tell. But because of the magic of television every shot was filmed with us six feet apart. But you can't really tell because they were so good at what they did that they still made it work and to this day it was one of the greatest rated television shows ever on HGTV. So I think that says a lot about, obviously, their talent. But maybe our passion, you know, showed through a little bit in there too. I like to think so.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, I mean they look for the storyline and y'all kept the storyline going and even now the storyline continues, because I don't think I've been downtown a day when someone hasn't come in because of seeing the show or hearing or this or that, and you'll hear them say, okay, we've got to go see this, or you might be in the coffee shop and they're trying to navigate where they need to go next, and so I mean it has such residual effects that must feel good. As a little girl, did you want to do something that had residual effects? You know, did that ever cross that? Ever cross your, your radar?
Speaker 3:No, I, I just wanted to work the cash register at Winn-Dixie. That seemed like the most fun to me, you know. And then when I got older, I wanted to be an attorney, like my dad.
Speaker 3:And then I realized I see way too much gray in the world to be an attorney, I realized I see way too much gray in the world to be an attorney. But I don't think as a child I realized what was happening to our downtown. Because you know just a really short history lesson it wasn't until the mid 20th century that downtown's really started deteriorating, and that was because the highway system was built, so people started working further away, which meant they bought their groceries further away, and so they built the shopping malls because people shopped further away and in a different way, and so that landscape completely shifted. Wetumpka was lucky in that it was the, the county seat, so there was always some activity down there and it felt vibrant to me at the time. But not until I came back as an adult did I realize there was even a problem that happened, and I don't know that I, I don't know that I thought much about the future as a kid, did you?
Speaker 3:did you think about residual effects, because I'm impressed if that was on your mind.
Speaker 2:I wanted to create something. I can distinctly remember wanting to create something like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer that, like this show, that was there and it had been there and it seemed like it had always been, would always be and um, so I hadn't created that yet, but yeah, I mean.
Speaker 3:I have that thought. A young creative, that's wonderful, I guess. I guess children are always creative somehow.
Speaker 2:But yeah, yeah, dreamer, and and I mean, that kind of brings me to the question of what do you think the difference is between wishing and realizing your dreams?
Speaker 3:Oh, a lot of work. I do think hope is essential. You know that faith and hope component, they have to work together. Faith and hope component, they have to work together, they have to be there. But you have to realize at some point it's going to probably get very uncomfortable for you and that's when you decide do I keep going to make it happen? Is it that important to me, or do I just stop here? But I will say, and I learned, I don't know, one day I realized this about myself.
Speaker 3:I think it was because I had young children and I was exhausted and I was still trying and I realized I had a great fear of regret. That fear outweighed all of the others to me for some reason. I don't know why I'm built like that, but I was so worried about regretting not doing that, not putting in that time, not trying hard, doing this that you know that was my main motivation and I think it's I've kind of held onto that. I'm afraid of regretting it later and that's that, for some reason, is a big motivator to me and that's that, for some reason, is a big motivator to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, that's a good motivator. I mean, it pushes you for sure, do you? Do you think you translate that into your kids too, of like, hey, don't regret, make your go out there and do this, or, you know, think about what if you don't? Do you find yourself trying to communicate that message to them?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I try to, I like to think I do. But I also acknowledge that my first two children were raised by by a very different Jenny than the second two. Oh really, yeah, you know I, I was just younger. Our circumstances were very different. My oldest child he, you know my husband was a college football coach for a while and at one point we moved five times in three years. And my, you know, my third, he was two when we moved here. And of course, my youngest has never lived anywhere else. So we do have a measure of control over our children and their own philosophies, but I have accepted that their own experiences are going to shape them a lot too, and it's just being there is important, you know. But I hope that I hope I've translated the good stuff. I do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's that's all of our wish is that we translate the good stuff and maybe the bad stuff they won't have to ever endure. What's the scariest thing you've ever done? I mean all that moving and resetting, that's pretty scary, but what's the scariest thing that that's crossed your path?
Speaker 3:Oh, you know, moving back to my hometown was pretty scary. I did not want to move back here. It was very much my husband who was, you know, the main breadwinner, and I fought it. I fought it some, but he had never had a hometown because his dad was a college football coach and his extended family is all from Charleston, south Carolina, and that's where he would live every summer because, as a college football coach in the 80s, they didn't make a lot of money, so every summer his dad would paint and they'd live with his grandparents and he'd hang out with his cousins. But he never really had a hometown community and so the idea of Wetumpka was very appealing to him. And, of course, I know that the Lord has a plan. And that became very manifest to me when my mother, who lived here in Wetumpka at the time she, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2015. And it was only my sister and I out of the six kids that were here and could help my dad take care of her. And I think that, you know, losing someone is definitely the most difficult thing I've ever done, but it also is was the most difficult thing I've ever done, but it also is was the most strengthening to me.
Speaker 3:I like to joke sometimes that, you know, in my 20s I had a mantra, throughout the 20s, 30s and 40s. I just didn't realize it until, like, I was 44. And in the 20s my mantra was the Lord has a plan. Plan because I'd gotten married young. I actually graduated from the University of Alabama eight months pregnant and I just had to trust that things are going to work out. And then in my 30s, you know, after we moved back here and my mother got sick, I learned my mantra became it's not about me, and I had to remind myself of that constantly. It is not about me. And that helped, you know, repeating that to myself. And then in my 40s, particularly after my youngest son was diagnosed with type one diabetes, two weeks after the filming of HGTV ended, by the way, my mantra became it is what it is and and you know those, I think having a mantra, I had a mantra and didn't realize it.
Speaker 3:But now that I realize, that it actually helps me even more. But you know I think that helped me face those difficult moments in my life that were challenging and I don't know if that's what you were looking for by scary, but you know the losing my mother was certainly the scariest thing I'd ever gone through. You know the prospect of losing her and then you know it happened through. You know the prospect of losing her and then you know it happened. And if we get through these difficult times that we think are going to kill us but once we get to the other side we realize they really help to shape us, and if you accept that offering in that manner.
Speaker 3:I think it can benefit you moving forward as a person instead of letting it tear you down.
Speaker 2:So yeah, yeah, and I scary oftentimes is something that isn't coming with instructions, and it does not matter what you read and know about death, it it's going to blindside you and going through an illness, and especially a painful one, where you watch the person have to endure so very much. It alters you. It alters you know, what was hard yesterday isn't as hard today because you're seeing harder. But I find it interesting I kind of put your mantras together. I mean the Lord has a plan. It's not about me and it is what it is. Man, when you mesh all three of those together, I mean that's a pretty good, that's a pretty good lifeline right there. So did you have mentors coming along? Did you have people that you look toward, both in your career, in your mothering, in your family? You know how I mean goodness, coming out of college, an instant mom. Did you have people that you could look to?
Speaker 3:could look to. I will say, you know, of course, my own mother, but I will say I am so lucky that I got a good mother-in-law, because I know that that can really go south fast and she was always a great example to me and I have, and my husband I'm going to, you know, give him props because he he's a very supportive and he's an excellent father and he's just a supportive person. He he's always kind of held me up when I needed that support. And then when I got into Main Street, there was our president, was I mean, he really is one of my heroes Dennis Fane. He is, he's retired now.
Speaker 3:He was a principal at an accounting firm. He has basically had a hand in every community building project that ever existed, you know, in this town. And he, he never faltered. If I needed to complain about something or someone, he listened. He did not admonish me or critique me, he just listened and then we kept going. You know, so I, I, I'm sure there are many and there along the way, I know the Lord has put the right person in my path to keep me going. Um, but I'd have to say, you know, out of that that handful of people is truly who come to mind when I think personally and professionally.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So, jenny, what makes you know that you can trust someone? You've had to really trust some people along the way. So do you have like a little measuring stick or a little test that that's like, yeah, I know, I can trust you, or is it a you're just a trusting person and you, till you get burned, you trust?
Speaker 3:Probably a little bit of all of those actually. I mean, I like to think I have good intuition, but sometimes I get it wrong, you know, and I feel pretty bad about it later. But I think sometimes you just don't really have much of a choice. You have to get it done and that person is there and you just have to trust that it'll work. And if it doesn't, then you learned your lesson and you move on. So no, I really don't have a good formula and you move on. So no, I really don't have a good formula, unfortunately, I wish I did, if you find out one that really works, please send it my way?
Speaker 2:Probably the million dollar one. Well, you mentioned that your youngest was diagnosed with type one diabetes, and you know when you've been a mom all these years and then all of a sudden, you have this really sharp turn in how you have to care for one. What's that like? Was it a terrifying moment, or has it been fairly easy to navigate, or difficult? What's that like for you as a mom?
Speaker 3:You know what, now that I think about it because I've kind of blacked it out a little bit that's absolutely the scariest moment of my life was you know, he's our fourth.
Speaker 3:So we we've been through viruses and sicknesses before, and so when he got sick, we just we took him to the doctor. It was strep. We gave him antibiotics, like we were supposed to, gatorade, to keep him hydrated, and over the course of two days he lost 20 percent of his body weight, which, when you're only about 60 pounds, that makes a pretty big difference and we could not figure out what was going on. I mean this type one, diabetes. First of all, I had no idea what was involved.
Speaker 3:I had heard of it but I always thought it was, you know, hereditary and someone else I knew in my family would have had to have it Um, but I always thought it was, you know, hereditary um, and someone else I knew in my family would have had to have it Uh, and then he started having breathing problems, uh, and that's when they rushed him to children's hospital and he was in the ICU for about three days and it was Um. And so, you know, treating, parenting a child with a chronic illness, particularly with type one diabetes, has absolutely changed everything about our family dynamics and our parenting. I mean, not, it hasn't changed everything about our parenting, but we've had to make a lot of concessions Because a lot of people don't think about this. But you know, typically type one diabetes, you're not really born with it. They know now it's an autoimmune disease. It just shows up one day and your life changes. So if so, he remembers what it was like before type one diabetes. So I often think of or I read a lot about teenagers and mental illness with type one diabetes, because they can't just eat what they want, they can't just be a normal teenager.
Speaker 3:And so learning that after he was diagnosed at eight, I made a conscious decision. We don't make a big deal about type one diabetes, but you know he has to take about eight shots a day. You know we've tried the pump. It doesn't work. We're going to try again. But you know, every three hours or so he's looking at his blood sugars and we're making sure that they're close to range so that he feels okay.
Speaker 3:And I don't know, I it's hard for me to uh, now that we're just three years in it, I really don't even think about what it was like before he had it. Um, because so much of our life is affected by it. Yeah, and hopefully, you know, one day he'll control it himself. But you know, kids, that's very dangerous. You know kids do need to learn how to. He does give himself his own shots at school. He confers with us about the number of them, because if you take too much insulin insulin you can go into a coma. If you don't take enough, you can go to the hospital sick. So it's just a constant balance. I mean, you know we talk about the work-life balance. This is another balance. You know that we try to get right every day. That always changes, but we're committed to doing our best and just trying to reign it in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's something that our society is not real kind on. I mean, they're the choices that are out there are insane. I mean, if you, if you travel abroad, and then the girls, my girls and I had trouble with this Greece. We just went to Greece and so the food was amazing and it was so fresh and so readily available. And then you come back here and it's like we have stuff in our products that is so unnecessary and so all of a sudden, you're reading labels for tomatoes that you think are just tomatoes and they're not, and so it's like you've had to take on like a full-time education or something that you didn't sign up for. But you, you have a child, therefore you must. Some days, I'm sure that just gets overwhelming and he can be angry and you can be angry and just kind of all kind of it is what it is there you go.
Speaker 2:The lord's got a plan. It's not about me and it is what it is yeah, but first, well, grease.
Speaker 3:Wow, that's fantastic and you are absolutely right, um, we have so much junk that we're just fed and that's a whole nother podcast, isn't it? Uh? But something you know, something people also don't consider. You know, kids, type two diabetes is very different than type one diabetes. You know, type one diabetes, your pancreas does not work, you can't take a pill, you have to. Thank goodness, you know, artificial insulin was created, um, so he can live, cause used to, you would just die, um, so we do have great access to to medical care, and for that, every day, I'm thankful.
Speaker 3:But you know, when you're growing up, you have to have carbs and your, your blood sugar is always affected by how sleepy you are or how anxious you are or if you're playing sports. Every single variable of his life affects his blood sugar and you, you just can't always prepare. So, yeah, it's. It is crazy, though. When I worked, when I got started in publishing, you know, after, after I had that baby young and my husband started work, we first moved to Memphis, tennessee, and that's when I started working as an ad rep for a sports and whole living magazine there. It was a regional magazine, and that's when I think this was the you know, early 2000s, maybe around, yeah, early 2000s, and that was really when we started learning about all of the things that they were putting in our foods you know the preservatives and the GMOs and the hormones and and it really if people don't realize, but some of the things that that go unquestioned here are illegal in other countries.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, that's a whole nother. There's some podcast material for you right there, for sure.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I mean it, and it can go as deep as people go, but well, and you feel, you feel worse too.
Speaker 3:So you know then that perpetual. You know then there's this whole health industry element to it, and prescription medicine industry. You know it just. Where does it begin and where does it end?
Speaker 2:get a little put out with a child who's not acting like they should act when they're you know 11 years old and you go oh, but this is a direct result of your sugars.
Speaker 3:Yes, because when he's, yeah, because when he's high, that makes them a little bit more hyper than they would ordinarily be. You know, yeah, it's, and sometimes we have to remind ourselves. And he's, I mean, he is a great kid and I could never imagine having to deal with this, especially at such a young age, and he is every day. He teaches me something about perspective and strength, but, yeah, it's, it affects every component of his life. And I am grateful that he was eight because I know some people. You know there's pros and cons. I know some people whose kids were diagnosed at two and they couldn't communicate it, and I can't imagine how difficult that was to have a two year old type one diabetic child. And then, on the other hand, you have teenagers and, like I said, there's a lot of mental health involved. So it's, you know, as a parent, balance, I think maybe is that our key word of the podcast.
Speaker 2:It sure is coming through. It sure is. Well, you know, it's interesting that you say that about the mental health. We had our son ended up having a heart attack when he was 13 and he had to have. He had a congenital problem and we had to go through all the fixing, and I'm forever grateful that he was on a swim team, that the coach pushed them to the point where they were almost like professional athletes, Because, long story short, he ended up being able to be diagnosed before he hit puberty, and so had he been older then it'd be a whole different outcome.
Speaker 2:But that being said, one of the things that we were told was people who have heart issues often have depression and have anger and have. So one of the first things we did was find who we needed to have help us with the cardiac, but then who we needed to have help us with the cardiac, but then who we needed to have help us with the mental too. And we had sold our house we were fixing to build. We ended up going well, that's not going to happen. And we moved in with somebody and decided wait, this kid needs to be able to slam doors. So living with somebody is not good, we need to go find our own space and revisit all of what we were going to do and change. So is that kind of what some of you are saying is your family changed because this became so much bigger than anything else that was happening was happening?
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely. And and you know I know it's hard to be a sibling who's also, you know, a teenager and you know you have a lion's share of attention going to a different sibling. You know we have to keep that relationship in mind. You know it's in mind, you know it's. People are really resilient, but you, you have to consider everyone. You know everyone has feelings. Everyone needs to be validated, um, but at the same time, you got to keep others alive that maybe have a little part of the code Right, we could deal with you next month.
Speaker 2:You won't have next month if we don't. Yeah, I know, and you know in the moments, a lot of times you can't even see that the forest is too thick and so it takes that encouragement from outside sources. Do you have something or someone, or a life philosophy or spirituality that grounds you?
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely, you know, I, I, I value my, my personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3:I'm thankful I live in a country that allows me that freedom.
Speaker 3:That allows me that freedom and I talk with God a lot, you know, and I probably don't pray as much as I should, but I talk to him a lot and I don't know how I would do it without my husband.
Speaker 3:I mean, he really is my best friend and my kids are my friends and, I think, especially my oldest, because I basically grew up with him, you know, and he's an adult now and I think it is having those key people in your life that are, are there to support you, to love you regardless, but also, you know, that spiritual element, recognizing that there is a bigger picture at play, that we have a potential that gives us the strength that we need to keep going, but we have to believe in ourselves and we have to believe in that greater power is what I think personally. I know that that power is different for everybody, but you know I'm a Christian and that that, because it's such a part of my life, it's it's always in the background. I don't give it enough credit because it's always there. But I'm glad you asked me that question because I need that reminder sometimes well, I mean it's interesting.
Speaker 2:You, you started out with your mantra being you know the Lord has a plan and you end up with it's what it is what it is. So those blended you know, it's what it is, but the Lord's got a plan so you can kind of flip them and intertwine them. However, the season is.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. I don't think they're mutually exclusive, you know we still have a job to do. We still have our free agency. It's just, if you know, we have that support system there too and just have to trust in the process.
Speaker 2:I guess that's what Nick Saban says all the time right, that's the process, well, and that's what you've done on so many of these projects. But what's interesting to me is you talked about the Joy to Life publication and the other publications that have been kind of health-centered, that you've been involved in. And then here, lo and behold, you need that in your later parenting years. Need that in in your later parenting years. Um. So how interesting the steps in which you have come um seem to support where you are.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I certainly you know, I don't think that's a coincidence. I think, um, it's been a gift to me from you know, certain points in my life where I think, if we have those desires, those righteous desires, those, those, those internal motivations to make good choices and to be good people, that good things will come for us. I don't think the, I don't think life will be perfect, and I think it will. The road will still be difficult, but I think we'll have the um, uh, what's the? There's a word I'm looking for, but now I can't think of it. But we'll, you know we'll, we'll be able to keep going.
Speaker 2:So that's tenacity, that's for sure. So, um so, describe to me your perfect day, so describe to me your perfect day.
Speaker 3:Oh, you know, I have to laugh at myself sometimes because I feel much older than I am in the best ways. I love to watch Matlock reruns and Wheel of Fortune and read books and sit on my porch and go on walks. I love the stillness, you know, I and it's not in conflict with me being a mom, because there is a time and place for everything, and perhaps it is because of my era of life right now, you know, a perfect day would be being able to do what I wanted to do, which, ironically, is probably not going to be a whole lot, because I do have a lot of responsibilities. So I guess that day where I'm just taking it all in appreciating the beauty of the earth, with some fantastic weather, some good food I sure would love some of that Italian or that Italian or Greek, grecian food.
Speaker 2:That'd be nice.
Speaker 3:Just the simple pleasures. That that is the perfect day for me, and maybe you know my, my family being there to give some hugs, but for the most part, just enjoying the simple pleasures of life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the, the trip that the girls and I went on was, um, uh, the art of living. Well, um and it, um and, and a lot of it was the pace, you know, and I mean we it's funny I say that, but we packed a lot in the days and I mean I don't think we walked under five miles any day and um, but it was just having a plan and then meandering through that plan and um, you, know that's exhausting, that that kind of exhaustion is so fulfilling at the end of the day, oh yeah you know, because if you started the five miles you had to finish it.
Speaker 2:I mean, I mean started out on it. You, you decided you were gonna walk up to that site.
Speaker 3:You were gonna have to walk back well, and I do think there is so much we can learn about the art of living from those older cultures, because they all have, you know, italy has like La Dolce Vita, which is, you know, the good life enjoying life. In France they have Joie de Vivre, which they talk about people just having this special zest for life, and I don't think it's a coincidence that they all have a break in the day, they all have a siesta or a tea time or, you know, they just take a moment and stop and regather themselves. Of course, in Italy they're drinking a lot of espresso, but they stop at some point in the day, they take a moment and consider the blessing of life and the value of time. And I think once I think once we're able to do that a little better, we'll improve our lives a great deal more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree with you. So what would you tell young Jenny?
Speaker 3:Oh, that's. That is a poignant question and one that I have thought about before, because I do think of my younger self and you know I didn't do anything crazy but I think I should have been more patient and more forgiving of, you know, those dumb mistakes, that, and part of that is being impatient, you know, just enjoying that moment of your life a little bit better. But I, you know I also don't want to kid myself because I do recognize my blessings today and I don't. You know there's a particular trajectory and navigation that happened in my life to get me to where I am today and it's not perfect and you know I certainly complain more than I should and certainly less gracious than I should be.
Speaker 3:But you know that I just wish that young Jenny would have taken the time to enjoy those moments a little bit better, like we talked about and you know it's a catch 22, because as a young mother, you always have older mothers coming up and saying you know, this is the best moment of your life, just enjoy this, this is the best time. And when they would tell me that I would take it in and I'd accept it, and then I would tell myself remember this moment where your kid's throwing a tantrum or this is happening. And this is happening because this is hard. And when you're 50 and it's not here anymore, just remind yourself that that was a hard time too and you enjoyed it as best you could. But now you're in a different place. So I just you know, once I get the grandbabies here, it'll be that full circle for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, don't wish it away, don't?
Speaker 3:wish. Oh, absolutely, not, no, absolutely each we.
Speaker 2:We used to have somebody that kind of poured into us and they would tell us each stage has something. It has something great, it has something difficult, and so if you can enjoy the stage, and you'll be in another one soon and probably wishing back for that one or wishing ahead of that one. So we have wants and we have needs, and sometimes we get them confused as to what they are. What do you think the difference between our wants and our? Have needs, and sometimes we get them confused as to what what they are. What do you think the difference between our wants and our needs might be?
Speaker 3:well, I think a lot of times we convince ourselves of our wants because we we don't appreciate what we do have. You know, like we talked about, I think the needs are pretty basic. You know the need is water, food, shelter, all of those human components that we need to stay alive. But I do think we need those relationships in our life that keep us grounded but give us love. You know we need those things and then the want is how we shape them. You know I love history and I love travel and sometimes I get terrible wanderlust.
Speaker 3:And you know, if I have a moment I'll I'll take a weekend trip somewhere, but then, I then I realized and I enjoy myself, I enjoy that time and then when I'm home, I'm like you know, home is really good too. So that want just kind of escaped me because I wasn't appreciating what I already had. So I think that's that's. The difference is, you know, we have those, those needs, like like love and um, those very physical elements that that we have to have to to survive, but how we shape them is the want.
Speaker 2:Yeah I like that, I do. And then it's sometimes they get redefined when you let them out and you kind of get to see what they truly are to you. Yeah, general, I mean, you have been a woman who has done so much, had your fingers in so many different pies and had results that are not you know. Just put in a filing cabinet. They're out there. So what would you challenge women to do, think or be?
Speaker 3:I think I'd remind, I'd challenge women to remember themselves as the individual. You know, keep in mind that individual is very much a part of the other identities, whether they're, you know, a wife or a partner or a mother. That all of these things are important, but don't get lost in them. You know, maintain that sense of self as you go about fulfilling these responsibilities. You have to continue to remember the you part of that equation too. It just can't become imbalanced.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, that's a daily. I was about to say struggle, but I didn't want to say struggle. That's a daily operation, yeah.
Speaker 3:And you know, it really does depend on how you look at it. It's an opportunity, because some days we're worse at it. But then we wake up and we realize, hey, today's a new day, I'm going to do better, I'm going to maintain that balance a little bit more effectively.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I like that, so you get a do-over you do If you're lucky.
Speaker 3:Every day can be a do-over.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Well, jenny, we've talked about a lot of different things, covered a lot of ground. Is there anything that maybe we didn't, that you wanted to make sure we talked about?
Speaker 3:Oh gosh, no, I, I just really appreciate the opportunity to to speak with you. I think what you do is amazing. I think you're a great example to me and all of the women that are listening. I think it takes a lot of guts to put on a podcast and put yourself out there, so I want to thank you for having me on today. I think I've spoken enough about myself, so I'll just leave it at that.
Speaker 2:Well, I appreciate it, I consider it an honor. I feel like I have gotten to tap in to your life and to those others that I've had the privilege to talk with, and there's just so much to share, and I think when we share, then the scary becomes less scary and we come up with mantras that, lo and behold, can become our own, and I thank you so, so much. I thank you for joining us. Thank you, it was a pleasure.
Speaker 1:Likewise, all I gotta do is count one, two, three, do my own drum. Whatever you do, it ain't nothing on me, cause I'm doing my thing and I hold the key to all my wants and all my dreams Like an old song. Everything will be alright when I let myself go with the night.
Speaker 2:Find Stacked Keys Podcast on Spotify, soundcloud and iTunes or anywhere you get your favorite podcast listened, you'll laugh out loud, you'll cry a little, you'll find yourself encouraged. Join us for casual conversation that leads itself, based on where we take it from family to philosophy, to work, to meal prep, to beautifully surviving life. And hey, if I could ask a big favor of you, go to iTunes and give us a five rating. The more people who rate us, the more we get this podcast out there.
Speaker 1:Thanks, I appreciate it, stomp to my own drum Stomp, to my big drum Stomp, hey Ooh, yeah, I got my pockets full of dreams. Yeah, and they've been passing out the same thing, you.