Stacked Keys Podcast
The idea to talk to women who are out there living and making a difference is where the Stacked Keys Podcast was born. There are women who make a difference, but never make a wave while paddling through life. Immediately I can think of a dozen or more who impacted me, but I want more. I want to talk to those I don't know and I want to share with an audience that might need the inspiration to find their own beat. This podcast is to feature women who are impressive in the work world-- or in raising a family -- or who have hobbies that can make us all be encouraged. Want to hear what makes these women passionate and get up in the morning or what they wish they had known earlier in life? Grab your keys and STOMP to your own drum.
Stacked Keys Podcast
Episode 230 -- Niki Tsekareas -- Embracing Identity Beyond Labels
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Niki Tsekareas never thought a retreat to Greece would completely transform her life, but that's exactly what happened. In this deeply personal conversation, she opens up about the moment she realized she needed more than her identity as "Niki Peter's wife" or "Georgios' mom" – she needed to rediscover herself.
With remarkable candor, Niki shares her journey from feeling lost to launching her own interior styling business at age 44. "I wasn't doing things that were giving me purpose," she explains, describing how she transformed a spare bedroom into a dedicated workspace filled with plants, journals, and reminders to stay accountable to herself. Her approach to interior design comes from a deeply personal place – creating spaces that truly reflect who her clients are rather than following trends.
The conversation takes several profound turns as Niki reveals her struggles with depression, her extraordinary seven-year fertility journey, and how she maintains her Greek heritage through traditions like name days and community celebrations. What emerges is a portrait of remarkable resilience, with Niki developing daily practices that keep her motivated even on the hardest days.
Most powerfully, Niki offers wisdom that resonates far beyond her personal story: "Don't let anybody tell you that you can't do or have something that you want." Her transformation from uncertainty to purpose serves as inspiration for anyone standing at the threshold of change, wondering if it's too late to pursue their dreams.
Join us for this moving discussion about identity, motherhood, entrepreneurship, and the courage to finally put yourself first. If you've ever felt defined by your relationships to others rather than your relationship with yourself, this episode will speak directly to your heart.
Music "STOMP" used by permission of artist Donica Knight Holdman and Jim Huff
Welcome to Stacked Keys Podcast
Speaker 1I'm walking all alone down my yellow brick road and I stomp to the beat of my own drum. I got my pockets full of dreams and they're busting at the seams, going boom, boom boom.
Speaker 2Welcome to Stacked Keys Podcast. I'm your host, amy Stackhouse. This is a podcast to feature women who are impressive in the work world or in raising a family, or who have hobbies that make us all feel encouraged. Want to hear what makes these women passionate to get up in the morning, or what maybe they wish they'd known a little bit earlier in their lives.
Speaker 1Grab your keys and stomp to your own drum. Whatever you do, it ain't nothing on me, because I'm doing my thing and I hold the key to all my wants and all my dreams, like an old song everything will be all right when I let myself go.
Speaker 2Oh, I cannot tell you how excited I am today. I met this fabulous lady back several months ago and you know you meet those people that you know that you just must have always known them. And Nikki is like that and I am going to attempt to say her name and she's going to correct me if I'm wrong, but welcome, Nikki Sakaras.
Speaker 3Yes, that's good, that's perfect.
Speaker 2I think I even rolled the R. I think you may have rolled it just a little bit, just a tiny bit. I'll have to practice. Oh, nikki, welcome. Thank you so much for taking time. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 3I'm so excited A bit nervous, but so excited, and it's so nice to see you live. It is even though I'm not in front of you. I feel like I'm in your element right now, with all these beautiful trees behind you.
Speaker 2Oh, thank you. Well, I'll tell you it. It feels like we have connected and not disconnected, so I will tell the audience as we get started. So I will tell the audience as we get started how I met Nikki. We went on a retreat to Greece, and 10 of us came together. None of us knew each other, and by the time I mean within the first hour we were meshing as if we had always known one another, and so it was a beautiful time and that's how we connected. But, Nikki, how about telling us how do people know you, both personally and professionally?
Speaker 3So, personally I would say a lot of people now probably associate me with being Nikki Peters' wife, because I've always kind of been in the back, I've never sort of had, you know, spread my wings and fly, and we've been married now for 16 years actually on Friday, 16 years. But personally I'm a daughter, I'm a mother, a wife, lots of friends. You know, I'm just me. I don't know what people would describe me as I'm fun, I'm caring, I'm loving, I have a heart of gold and I'd probably take a sweater off my back literally and give it to anybody who needed it Compassionate for sure. Professionally I'm just starting out. So it's actually kind of exciting because I'm sort of discovering who I am professionally after not having worked for so many years. So it's exciting to kind of be back out there.
Speaker 3And, funny enough, yesterday I was going, I was actually just out running an errand and I started chatting with a gentleman who was giving me a hand and he said what do you do? And I said well, I just started my own business of interior styling. He's like well, how do you work with people? And I said well, initially it's just a 30 minute consult on the phone, I said, and then you know, I break it down for him. I broke it down for him. I broke it down for him, excuse me, explaining like what the process is.
Speaker 3And he's like you would hate my place. And I said why do you say that? And he goes because there's nothing in my house and I'm like I think it's time that you need me. And he had mentioned that he lives with his daughter and because he's renting the home right now, and I said, well, all the more reason to make it more personal for you and make it a reflection of who you are and a space that's more comfortable for both yourself and your daughter, even though his daughter is 17 years old and you know, 17 year olds are usually never in the house.
Speaker 3So, anyway, explaining to him how who I am now professionally kind of made me feel like, wow, I'm someone other than just Nikki Peter's wife, you know, nikki Helen's daughter, nikki Sophie and Christina's sister. I feel like I'm kind of my own person now and it's been a long time where I feel like I've been sort of bubbled in to that mold and now I'm finally like here, I am making an appearance, I'm talking to people, I'm socializing, I'm building a network, I'm building a community and it feels amazing. Still very new, but amazing.
Speaker 2It is very new Now, how did you decide that interior design was the direction you would go?
Starting an Interior Styling Business
Speaker 3So it's funny because when I so being on the retreat and being and it was specifically when we were up in the countryside in Nath and I remember being out there one morning and we had just finished doing a morning yoga and our host on the retreat had asked each of us how did we feel in that moment and the word that came to mind was clarity for me. And I said I feel very clear. And I came back home not knowing anything about what my future was holding, but I knew I wanted to do something. And post-retreat, we had the opportunity to chat with our host one-on-one and do a follow-up call and I had explained to her how I just always felt like I'm just Nikki Peter's wife, I'm Nikki Helen's daughter. I'm that person, but I'm not me. I'm Georgios' mom and I wanted to do something for me. And I didn't realize that I'm like why am I not doing something that I love to do? And the moment I got back, my neighbor her daughter is three she said to me Nikki, I really need your help. I want to redecorate my daughter's room, I want to give her a space of her own. And I was like okay, let's do it, I'm ready. So we went into the house I took before pictures, not knowing in my head that I was going to start something and, you know, eventually posting it online and saying like this is a before and after project. But I sat with her and I said, okay, what do you want to do? And she said I want to give her her own space. I want to make it more comfortable for her someplace to call her own. So I revamped the entire space for her and now again, post retreat, I did speak with our hosts and suggesting I got suggested to do the six-month coaching and I said you know what I'm going to do it. I'm going to give something back to myself, because I don't normally do that. I'm always just giving, giving, giving. So I said, okay, I'm going to do it.
Speaker 3I spoke with my husband I know it was a big investment, but I'm like it's a big investment for me personally. And I remember on my first call, kat had asked me what do you want to do? And I said I want to own my own business. I want to have financial freedom and not wealth, it's different. We want to have financial freedom to be able to do and explore things. And then, from that point on. I was just like I'm going to do it. And she said, okay, we're going to do it. And I'm like, yeah, I'm doing it. And then I started to do it and that's you know. Here I am seven months later, completely different person to who I was nine months ago. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I can't even recognize myself.
Speaker 2Wow, that's scary, yes, that's scary, yes, scary. Very. How have you gotten up every morning and avoided or maybe you haven't avoided the imposter syndrome? How have you done that?
Speaker 3I hold myself accountable. That's what I'm doing and that for me is really big, because then I just feel like I'm letting myself down. And I've worked so hard for you know for several months now that I don't want to get back into that person that I was nine months ago because I wasn't doing much or anything fulfilling. I should say, I wasn't doing things that were giving me purpose and I wanted to give myself purpose. You know, I'm 44 years old, my son is seven, he's in school full time and I needed to do something for me. So I don't let myself fall back like that, because if I do, I know it's going to be a slippery slope and I don't want to go down there again.
Speaker 2Yeah, wow.
Speaker 3But there are days that you know some days are harder than others. You know, I remember being sick for a couple of weeks and it was draining me. I wasn't waking up, I wasn't doing my routine. But now I'm like, no, get up and do it, and if I don't do it at that moment, I'll do it. I'll set myself 30 minutes aside for the day and making sure I'm doing my routine, journaling, I'm doing some meditation and just clearing my mind because I'm giving myself and giving time back for me, which is important for me and for my growth.
Speaker 2Yeah, so what's the hardest thing that you've come in to of being an entrepreneur?
The Greece Retreat and Finding Clarity
Speaker 3Learning new things when yeah and it's funny because I don't I am not a techie at all and I've actually spoken to Becca, your daughter, countless times and she said she's given me suggestions and then I just sit and I play and I learn. So it's learning computer that I haven't had to use in eight plus years, almost nine years now being away from work, learning these programs, understanding how social media has such a huge influence in our lives and me starting to see that and really pay attention to things like what people are posting, how often they're posting, and that, for me, has been the biggest challenge. But I feel like I've been mastering the things that I am learning. And one day, having a call with my coach, she said something and I not verbatim, but it was if you don't be scared of trying and failing it, the point is you're trying and you're doing and that's what I'm doing. So I've made a few mistakes here and there and I'll pick it up afterwards, but I'm like that's OK. Point is, I'm showing up.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah. Well, and the authenticity do you find that you are maybe finding your authenticity? That might be a little bit different than you thought it was going to look like 100 percent.
Speaker 3Without a doubt, and I, yeah, and I just it's, this is me. This is me making a mistake, this is me walking into something that I never thought I would ever do and I'm learning. I'm learning things that I don't really understand and know about interior styling, using the correct lingo, but I'm making myself more available and I'm networking more. I'm signing up and going to shows. You know, the big thing that I did back in January is going to the interior design show and I brought my little sister with me and my little sister's professional. So we were, we got there pretty early and we were chatting with one of the vendors that was there and I was talking with her and then, as we were leaving, my sister said to me okay, so some feedback. And I'm like please bring it. And she said I think you need to learn more about the lingo. And I said you know what? You're right, you're absolutely right. So I started watching things and learning the right lingo and learning the right terms that I needed to apply to the day-to-day whomever I'm speaking with.
Speaker 3So, yeah, it's, you know you make mistakes along the way, but again, I'm showing up, yeah that's for me, you know, otherwise I could just continue being georgie's mom, peter's wife, yeah which is great yeah, but it's not. It's not giving me um purpose right?
Speaker 2well, I find it very interesting because, yes, learning lingo is so important when you're in those spaces, but then what you bring to the table that so many don't, that communication skill set to the individual, who isn't the professional, who doesn't have the lingo.
Speaker 2They just have the. I want it to look right, so you kind of have both sides of the table covered now, so that's encouraging. So where do you go when you need to solve a problem? Do you have like a network and this is both personally and professionally and being mom, you've had to solve mom issues, from health to education to everything do you have a network? Do you have kind of a tribe of people, do you? Where do you go when you have a problem or want to learn something?
Speaker 3maybe not a problem yeah, no, um, yeah, no. I think the first thing I end up doing is I sort of pull back from everyone and kind of reflect on everything that's kind of going on, because there are days where it becomes challenging and hard. And then the first, you know, group of people that I would call are my sisters and, for the most part, them being, you know, moms of two kids, are very busy, they both work full time and I would call them, but there is I've got to keep in mind that they have a life as well. But then there is this one person who's been my rock, besides from, you know, my husband and my little guy, who sometimes I just look at Giorgio and he makes everything feel better instantly, but my girlfriend, who has been my biggest supporter, saying this is incredible, I'm so proud of you. And when you hear that this is incredible, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 3And when you hear that this is where the accountability takes kicks in and that's what I keep doing and thinking I'm like there is a strong group of women around me and I've never came from and I think I mentioned this on the retreat too I didn't come from a place where people supported people very much. It was more of like, you know, everyone's kind of doing their own thing, everyone's looking out for themselves and, you know, while that's admiring to me, it's when you're starting something new. You need that group, you need that network, you need that community. And I have a really strong group of girlfriends who are all very active and busy professionals, and these group of women, and specifically one, has been my cheerleader. And then it also helps when you have a coach behind you who is sending you messages and following up with you. You know, even if it's a quick touch base over the week saying how's it going, what are your intentions today? And I'm like this, like I have to hold myself accountable. So it's, it was.
Speaker 3It was great for six months having that mentorship over me, um, and having my girlfriend girlfriend. But there are days that it's been hard. Like I've been a month out now without having that coach. And then at first I was like I was sad and then I just kind of it started going downhill and I'm like this is really hard, this is really hard, I can't do this by myself. I'm like, oh my God, I need, I mean, I need my support system. Like I have my friends, but they're all locked professionals. But that coach was there for me and then Peter looked at me one day and he's like you got this, you know what you're doing. So it's also helped because Peter and I have, you know, turned a page and he's now my supporter, he's my cheerleader, so that's been really helpful.
Overcoming Depression and Finding Self-Worth
Speaker 2That's interesting, because sometimes wind up believing that you're doing it because everybody's cheering you or you've got somebody to bounce something off of and you know if you're paying them. Then you're kind of like, ok, I get this time, I get to, you don't have to honor, I know you're a busy person, so this is my, my time. Well, how do you organize yourself? Because one of the things that you have to be as an entrepreneur is organized. You have your space, you have to have your space, you have to have your time. So, are you a digital planner? Are you a paper planner? What's your system?
Speaker 3Paper planner. I'm so old school, it's so funny because I have one sheet here which I write on every day. I've got my calendar right next to me above my computer right now. I have my list of what type or what my week looks like my Monday to Friday week, not the weekends, because the weekends are kind of allocated to time with Georgios and Greek school and Uzuki lessons and all those commitments he has, and little notes and reminders and daily affirmations. So the first thing I'm doing when I'm waking up is what's on my to-do list, which is this piece of paper. So it's blank today because I know it was with you.
Speaker 3But when I first set up my office I found this one and it says happiness. I'm not sure if you can see. It says happiness is dancing to your own two feet or your own beat. Excuse me, but I organized myself with pen and paper and I love it because I take it with me. I'll put it in my purse. I'll remind my like. These are the reminders that I need because I like that physicalness sometimes. I don't like looking at my phone all the time and I just feel like that. Right now in society, this is all we're doing is we're always looking down and I I try not to look down. I try to take a piece of paper and look it up. Look up Cause I also like keeping my head up because it makes me think, um, it's only uphill from here. And when I look down I feel like this is downhill. So it's kind of just put my head up, it's only uphill from here.
Speaker 2Oh wow, yeah, You're pretty intentional.
Speaker 3Have you always been intentional.
Speaker 3No, no, this is from the retreat. These are things I learned from being around all of you, being around all of you when I met you all, what you were all so inspiring to me. And again the world I come from, it's oh, you have a husband who's successful, you live in a beautiful home, you drive a nice car, you go out to fancy places, you have beautiful vacations. It's like you have everything you want. That wasn't enough for me, that wasn't fulfilling, it wasn't giving me purpose. And then here I am, meeting you and your two daughters, two other sisters, another girl from Australia you know our hosts and then the gentleman from Florida and I'm sitting around and I'm having listening to all of you and I'm like everyone here is an active professional and here I am just being the wife. I'm like this is not fulfilling. Honestly, it was so inspiring meeting you all and hearing everyone's story.
Speaker 2I love that and as you're talking, I'm thinking the moment that we all came together there was so much happening in everybody's life. I mean, there was tragedy going on, there was, you know, just indecisions and so much. And so to me, what a moment for it to all come together. What a moment for it to all come together. And so I want to talk just a little bit about the idea of retreats, because you and I have both been on one. This particular one was in Greece, so nobody can complain about the scenery.
Speaker 2I mean or the food or the you know none of that, but you had a special reason for wanting to be in Greece, so go down that road for me.
Speaker 3It's funny, it's my happy place, it's one of the places that every time and I haven't traveled much to say, in Europe, I haven't but Greece always holds a place near and dear to me. My background is Greek, my parents are Greek, my husband is Greek. We are very cultured here, we're very traditional and make sure that we, you know, pass that on and teach our son that, and that's very important to me and I think, being there, knowing that there are so many obviously the people that live there, knowing that there are so many obviously the people that live there being locals, having that connection with them, being able to walk down the street and saying good morning to them, understanding their conversations when you walk by at a cafe Greece holds such a dear place in my heart and I didn't realize this up until 2013, when I first went back with my husband, because before that, my last trip there was in 2004. But our plan has always been to move back and when we were there in 2013, I remember it was our last night, when we were walking on the beach and we were having dinner at a restaurant and then we just you know, naturally, you just walk off the restaurant and you're on the beach Right and we were holding hands and he looked at me and he said could you ever see yourself living here? And I said a hundred percent. And then that was back in 2013.
Speaker 3So so many years later than it was, you know, obviously, trying to have a family and going through all our fertility and there was, you know, that was a whole nother issue. So we spent years trying to do that and then when that finally came, we were so happy, so blessed. And then we went back in 2019 with our son being a baby and then we were at his parents home. So most people have their parents home, their parents and just generation passed down to generation, so it's their. We call it the village house, quote unquote. And I remember when we were at their home, having such a deep connection mountains behind me, no ocean in front of me, it was strictly landscape and looking at all the olive trees around me and I'm like this is where I belong, this is where I want to be forever. Um, and then 2024 comes around and here I am going on this retreat, not blinders on complete blinders, no idea what I was walking into. And then, when I was there and seeing people at a different time of year because every time I had gone it's always been vacation time. Now I'm seeing people in work mode and I'm like this is kind of nice, I kind of like it.
Speaker 3And climate for me is a big thing. When I don't see a lot of sun I'm not very happy. I think most people can probably relate. But Greece has over 300 days of sunshine a year.
Speaker 3That alone for me is a reason to want to be there forever and it just feels like home the moment I walk off that plane and I smell that air and then I, you know, hear them saying welcome. They say which means welcome and you say which means uh, we, we thank you for, we thank you for finding it doesn't really translate well, right, I like that, but the moment that they say that, I always say and it's nice to have that connection instantly when I walk off, and that's how I feel every single time. And I was just having a conversation with my sister's. Cousins are here from Australia visiting for a month and he was telling me when he's he's traveled all over.
Speaker 3Him and his wife have traveled all over in Europe and I said there's something about the moment I walk off that plane and he said it's no better feeling. And again, not having traveled anywhere else in europe, I still want to be able to say I have seen all of greece before I travel anywhere else, because there's so many places to see there. There's so much the history, the culture, the traditions, the little things that you pick up from each village and each city, so that connection that I have with it is like none other. I I can't even I can't fully explain it in words, but it's just happiness.
Speaker 2The moment I walk off, I've just, I feel welcome at home yeah, and and that is, I think, something that gets conveyed, whether it's your home or not that comes across so instantly, so quickly, retreat, kind of blind. You know where you're going, but not really you know knowing what to expect. What made?
Speaker 3you choose a retreat. Honestly, I had no idea what I was walking into. None, I didn't know how deep it was going to get, and maybe it was just our group, maybe we just all got deep, and I'm not sure. So lately I'll just tell you very quickly. The one thing that I've been saying is the universe. The universe lately has been so good to me and I am so thankful for receiving everything that's happening, good and bad. Bad, I look at as a lesson. The good I'm thankful and I feel like the universe brought our group together.
Speaker 3And when I initially booked the retreat back in January of 2024, I didn't know what to expect. I just thought great, six days in Greece, beautiful, it's going to be great, I'll be there. A couple of days before, a couple of days afterwards. And I remember Theodora one day via email what do I need to have any experience in art? And she goes no, no experience necessary. And I was like, oh, thank goodness, because I'm like, what if it's filled with art and I don't know what I'm doing? So when I had booked it again, it was blinders. And but I do remember being on the airplane and I said to myself why am I going here? I don't know what to expect. I don't know what what's going to happen. I don't know who I'm meeting. I've only spoken to Kat online. I've spoken to Theodore. I've never met her, but she did a painting for me. I met her through Instagram and she did a painting for us, for me. I met her through Instagram and she did a painting for us years ago and I was on the plane and I'm sitting there in my seat and I'm thinking what if they ask me why I'm here, what's the purpose of my retreat?
Creating a Personal Work Space
Speaker 3Like, coming on the retreat and two words came to mind and I think I shared them self-worth and clarity. And I feel like in that moment I needed to find them, self-worth and clarity. And I feel like in that moment I needed to find my self-worth because I didn't have any and that was, um, an eye-opening moment on the airplane. And then, sure enough, our first night meeting and and sitting down and everybody just kind of introducing themselves. And then it was you know, write one word down or a couple words down on what you hope to get out of this. And I wrote those down and I'm like this is going to be a lot deeper than I thought it was. And then I just thought I'm just going to be my vulnerable self.
Speaker 3So the retreat was not. I didn't walk into the retreat with expectations. I thought I was going into a very relaxing, peaceful, six, seven days. Then meeting everyone, everyone having a story and everyone being at their most vulnerable was beautiful, and at that moment I realized this is going to be deeper than I thought. I really just thought it was going to be a quick little getaway, meet some great people, say goodbyes, good to meet you. And now look here I sitting having a conversation with you several months later.
Speaker 2Right. Well, and I think that's a connection that I don't know that we'll let go of. I hope we don't, Because I think we all went into that we didn't really know what we were coming to. There were moments of vulnerability, there were moments of hilarity I mean just being able to laugh in ways that busy life just sometimes takes away from you. So it was really one of those moments. I think we all connected on that space of what we needed at the moment. You know we chose little rocks.
Speaker 2And I still have my little rock and we were to write. I can't exactly remember what the instruction was, but it was to write your word or something that resonated with you and I put faith in a line and and then put fear underneath it, and it was, you know, to have faith over fear.
Speaker 3Yes, I remember that.
Speaker 2I was going through some scary, you know, changes and decisions and it's like, okay, here we go, and, and so it's just amazing that a word, a person, a smile, something can connect with you so deeply that it's altering. But there are so many times that we have to forgive ourselves for something before we can move forward. When's the last time you had to forgive yourself, nikki, for something?
Speaker 3for something. I would say. When I got back from my retreat, I had to forgive myself for feeling the way I did. I came back I'm going to probably get a little bit deep here, just so you know, and I'm okay with that because I'm I'm an open book but I was at my lowest low.
Speaker 3It was really tough for me to come back, cause I just didn't know anything and I kept thinking be grateful, I have a, you know, forget about the material things. You know, I have a home to come into, I have a husband, I have a son. I should be grateful for all that stuff, but personally, that wasn't enough for me and I didn't. I wasn't letting myself feel the way I wanted to feel and I forgave myself for not allowing myself to feel. There was a moment where I didn't know if I wanted to just go on, because I just didn't know what to do and how to do it. So I'm going to say I forgave myself for that, because in that moment I was feeling at my worst.
Speaker 3It was it was tough, it was really tough, and I don't know if it was um being in Greece, um, thinking when are we going there? And just not feeling worth anything because I didn't feel like I was worth anything. When I got back, um, yeah, I forgave myself for feeling the way I did because it was a really bad moment. I was in the slumps for two months post-retreat three months and the one thing that kept me kind of going was knowing that Kat was there, my coach, having those calls and those um group chats with everyone post-retreat. It was a really dark time. Maybe it was really bad I hate that for you.
Speaker 2I really do. But wow, you were dealing with mom guilt and so life guilt right, yeah, and I guilt can be, probably, while you're feeling all these things and not knowing what to do with them, having guilt pressed on you as well, that's huge. So I'm really proud of you that to be able to put one foot in front of the other and you know, a lot of times we all look so successful from the outside and like we've got it yeah and um, and it's those little dark caverns that can, yeah, and make us just really get lost.
Speaker 2So, so, if I asked you what the scariest thing that you've ever done, um, it might resonate right back to that Of moving forward or staying still. Which is scarier?
Speaker 3Staying still, staying still was scarier because in that moment I didn't think that there was another way out. And that's what scared me, that I wasn't able to get out of that headspace number one and think I'm worth more than that.
Speaker 1Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2Well, being an entrepreneur can take you to those scary places, A hundred percent Right to the edge, because you're by yourself. You know there are so many things that all rest on your shoulders. What are you doing to protect yourself? Motivation.
Speaker 3Self-motivation and affirmations are huge for me and I have so many affirmations that I say to myself I also have a meditation guided meditation that I had with my coach and I still record. I still play it, even if I'm not supposed. If I'm not like laying down or sitting in a chair, I'll drive and I'll still play it, even if I'm not supposed to. You know, if I'm not like laying down or sitting in a chair, I'll drive and I'll listen to it and I listened to it. And I just remind myself. I'm like look how far I've come, look at who you were so much to be grateful for. What have I done in this space that I've created at home for myself? What have I done in this space that I've created at home for myself?
Speaker 3Affirmations are so big for me. And then, when I do get in a slump because I do, and I think a lot of people do and you know it's natural and I'm okay to admit that when you go on Instagram and social media and obviously because I've had to start exposing myself more to social media, you know, eventually your algorithm will change where you start seeing things that are relating to you and it says you know, entrepreneurship is scary and you know the don't be afraid of going forward. And when I read them I remind myself, whatever it may be, whatever it may say, what's scary is standing still, just keep moving forward. So it's like keep moving forward. And I, every morning, when I walk out of my, out of our bedroom and I walk by my office, I'm like what am I tackling today? Because I built this space for me, to do something for me.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, you actually came in and and and didn't just work at the kitchen table, you went ahead and created a space. What was your thought process in that?
Speaker 3it was a spare bedroom, completely useless, never had anybody really sleeping over except my you know five-year-old niece, when she would have sleepovers with my son, or six-year-old niece, I should say. And I'm like, when I got home, all I wanted to do was have be able to have my laptop somewhere and, like a little notepad and, just, you know, gave a journal. And then I thought, well, this spare room. And, speaking with my coach, and she's like, why don't you make a space your own? So there were all these ideas running through my head. I'm like, maybe I'll just put a little desk in the corner of our bedroom with a little lamp somewhere, to you know, put my purse at the end of the day and plop it down.
Greek Heritage and Cultural Traditions
Speaker 3And then he spoke to my husband. I'm like we're not using the room. No one comes here, no one sleeps over anymore, everyone's so busy. And he's like I'm like, are you okay with me changing? And he's like, yeah, absolutely so. I was like I'm changing.
Speaker 3It took apart the bed. Amy, you should have seen me. It was the funniest thing in the world fighting with furniture using a screw, using a um, a drill, and I've used a drum. I'm very familiar with how to use it. But just sitting in the room by myself and taking things apart and just like I can totally do this, yeah, pour down a closet, rebuild the closet in my thought process when I was doing it all, was you just wanted it to be a space for me that I walk into and I feel comfortable and I feel at ease? Um, and put things around me that remind me of being back home there.
Speaker 3There's lots of green in the room, which I love. I even have a green yoga mat that I practice on every morning. Yeah, but I had to change. Yeah, it's oh boy, wow, it seems like sorry, I'm getting off topic just because you're fine. Um, it, just when I walk into this room every day, I think there's plants that are holding me accountable to watering them every day. There's a laptop that I need to get on every day. There's a yoga mat that I have to get on every day. There's my journal in the corner that I have to pick up and write every day. There is my meditation that I listen to every day. Um, sorry, I think I I kind of got totally off script off your space, but I mean, those are habits that you've created that have made that room.
Speaker 2um, I love the fact that you're saying these inanimate objects are holding you accountable. Yeah, that's kind of an interesting concept, but I like it because it's like, okay, yeah, we can be around people. But then you know you talk about the busyness of people or the lives that they have, and then it's like so what can I, for me, do that I don't have to rely on somebody else's schedule or somebody else's having a moment for me, or you know, I mean I've had, I have a really good friend and there's times that I need to talk to her and I'm like I need to talk to you now. It's not possible. So it's like, of course we have a code. I mean we can call and if you don't pick up it's because you're busy. But if I text you and say, look now, then you know you might step away and do it. But I love the fact that you have activities and objects that hold you accountable. Have you always been like that? Yeah?
Speaker 3no, no, other than for my son, obviously, because I'm his mom and he needs me, um, but that's more of um. It's different, I guess, when there's a little human, that's depending on you, but when there's objects around me, to me it was just an object. Now I'm like no, I got to use that, I got to water that, I got to open that. Yeah, I've never really been like that.
Speaker 2It gives depth to your things. Your things stop becoming things and they become tools. Correct.
Speaker 3Like my garden.
Speaker 3My garden is probably the only thing because I love being in my garden, yeah, um, and that, for me, is a tool of just escaping from everything and just being there and being present. That's another thing I learned, too. Now is being be here now. I remember you remember our host telling us that on the retreat is be here now, be here now. And I'm always not here now. I'm always 10 steps ahead or five steps ahead or thinking of the future. I'm like, no, just be here now and enjoy this moment. Oh wow, because we're, we're all I at least. I feel like I'm always like on the go, go, go, go go. There's always so many things today and I'm just like be here now, enjoy this moment, be in this moment, be fully present in this moment.
Speaker 2Yeah, and you have to kind of take that as being a mom too, because you mentioned earlier about the phones and looking down and and even though you still have a little guy, you, you still. I mean, parents are getting faced all the time with all of these things coming to their kid and the, the iPads and the games and all of that. What's your stance on that as a parent and how have you dealt with it?
Speaker 3I would say that since we so last summer, I should say when I got back from Greece I noticed that Georgios now is becoming a little bit more well. He's definitely a very active little boy and I actually don't object to it, amy, to be honest with you, you know, for me it's whatever works for everyone, and the last thing that I'm going to do, especially post-retreat, is judge somebody else. Everybody has a story Everyone Good story, bad story, successful story, failure story. Everyone's got a story, and the one thing that I'm not going to do is judge, because I'm also that person. I don't necessarily love it, but I'm open to it and I don't object to it.
Speaker 3Giorgio and I went and saw the movie Minecraft the other day and in the movie which, by the way, I really enjoyed, it was such a good movie. My husband asked me when we got home he's like how was the movie? I'm like I think I liked it more than Giorgio, but there was a part of the movie where he was basically the smart kid, the kind of geeky, and, uh, another main character said oh um, you, the the nerdy kids or the creative kids, always get picked on. And when I I thought about that, because there's been incidences that georgia's a school, that we get the phone calling. You know he's too rambunctious, he's this and he's that, he's not listening, he's not following up, so on and so forth, and I'm like, well, they, they don't, they're not holding themselves accountable as teachers, because our teach, our education system here is is I hate to say and admit that it's laughable, but it really is. But I'm doing what I can as a parent to help my son and when I look at him doing things like being on an iPad, for example, to me he's learning something that this is where our future is going and I have to be more open and accepting to it.
Speaker 3I had this idea in my head, I think, as most parents do what they want their kids to do. And now my first answer is as long as he's healthy and happy, he could be flipping burgers, he could be, you know, a software engineer, he could be whatever he wants to be. I don't care, as long as he's healthy and he's happy. Those, to me, are the most important. So I don't pass judgment on what people do that works for them, because, guess what? I'm one of those people. I'll be the first one at a restaurant if I'm with me, Peter and Giorgio having dinner, and if G joseph's acting up and, like pete, get that phone like it's you know ipad, iphone, eyepiece. That's what peter and I say all the time, and if that's what it's going to take, then that's what it's going to take um, you say that, but you're also, um, pretty insistent that you're going to have the greek heritage and the exposure.
Speaker 2So you have your things that are so important to you and you feel like it's given the whole, the whole picture to, to your kiddo and to your family. It's interesting because I think if you stopped and looked, everybody would have their must haves, and heritage is one of your must haves. How do you go about that? Because you're you're in Canada, so how do you make sure that you keep that Greek heritage alive within your family?
Speaker 3We have a large community here, greek community. We also have an area in the city where it's considered a Greek town, where a lot of the Greeks first came when they migrated over from Greece. There's also a ton of Greek churches around. I would say you know, it starts with the upbringing Our parents were very involved in the Greek community. And then, naturally, when you're going to Greek school on Saturdays and you know church on Sundays, and then Sunday school, which, even though it was only for an hour, you're meeting a lot of friends there and you're connecting with them every week. And then, as you're getting older, you're still having relationships with them and that really helps. And then it's there's a lot of activities that the Greek community does here in Canada. I know they do it in a lot of major cities in the U? S but you know great concerts, greek artists are coming in from overseas Festivals that we have.
Speaker 3We just finished celebrating the 25th of March, greek Independence Day. So they still hold an annual parade in Toronto and I believe I'm not sure if this is global or not, but March is considered Greek Heritage Month. So some of the schools are participating in teaching the kids on what that is and while they might not go into a full scope, they'll just add a little bit. We have things like raising the Greek flag on these days, commemorating whatever it is that we're celebrating. So it's kind of something that we've been ingrained in since we've been little. It's very common for us, like it's very not common, sorry it's very normal for us to you know. Oh, okay, today's, for example, st George Day, oh, it's a big name day. We got to call all the Georges that we know or send a mass text or whatever. Name days are huge for us. Birthdays are not that important, whereas name days it's like oh my God, it's you know.
Speaker 2I do not know what you speak of. Name day.
Speaker 3You're named after a saint, so, giorgio, my son is named after a saint. So, giorgio, my son is named after a Saint Giorgio. Granted, he's named after my father-in-law. That's another tradition that we do. It's, you know, going back to how you keep the heritage, and it's like the first son or daughter are named after the husband's side. Now, there are some people that break that tradition, and that's fine, yeah, but then there are some that it's really important yeah you know um.
Speaker 3So yes, he's, he's born after my father-in-law's name and you celebrate saint george after easter. So normally the um, the the name day is actually april 23rd every year. If Easter is, let's say, may the 5th, the name day will come the first Monday after Easter. That I can't explain to you, but that's the way it works, specifically for this one name day. But today it happens to fall on a day after Easter, so it's on the 23rd of April and I'm named after. I'm named after St Nicholas and I'm named after I'm after I'm named after Saint Nicholas, my mom's mom, and my name day is on December the 6th. So it's like there's some bigger name days and then there are some small ones. What do you do on?
Speaker 3name day normally it's well, it's church. Uh, my mother-in-law does make bread. You make this customary bread and then you bring it to church, have the priest blessed it, bless it, and then they'll have like coffee and cake in the back in the reception area, and then you cut it up and just give to everybody that's there. Um, and then when everyone calls you the person celebrating, you're supposed to invite them over. So if you called me and said, hey, nikki, you know, happy name day, I'd be like oh, come over for coffee and cake. So I'm treating you to coffee and cake to celebrate. Oh, yeah, I like it. Yeah, me too, me too.
Speaker 2That's special because you go through all of this to celebrate a birth, you next, and then I mean we have birthdays, but they can get lost in the moment.
Speaker 2Yeah, and this is so traditional. Um, well, let's, let's go down this road a little bit too. Um, just just for a few minutes, if we can. You mentioned that you guys went on a real long fertility journey and that can can be so hard, so hard on you as a couple, so hard on you as an individual. So tell me a little bit about that story, if you can, and, yeah, of course, encouragement from it or lessons you learned, or just the story encouragement from it or lessons you learned or just kind of the story.
The Fertility Journey
Speaker 3So we'd been married for we'd been married, it'll be 16 years, like I said on Friday. But when we first got married we were on our honeymoon and I remember we were walking into the breakfast area and I saw this little kid running and I looked over at Peter and I said I want to have a baby right away. And he said okay, he said, but maybe we should talk to your doctor first. So it's going to be a big open book. I suffer from depression. It's hereditary in my family. My father suffers from it, really bad. So when my husband said let's speak to your doctor about it, it was more about making sure that I'm taking the right medication to ensure that it's not passing through breast milk. And we got back and my doctor changed it. So then we were trying for three years, naturally, and nothing happened. So then it was going to see a doctor now getting appointments. Our healthcare is very different than it is in the US, so it's you need to go see your family doctor. You got to get a referral to go and see that specialist. That can take months on end. Finally we went in. We got an appointment with the doctor and the doctor said everything seems to look good, you're fine and we're like you know what, let's just continue to try. Naturally, we continued to try, naturally it didn't work. And then at around, I want to say year six or seven-ish, no, it was year six. 84 months is what? 84 months into 12. I remember having to write down how long have you been trying, and it said in months. And I remember writing 84. Wow, and I thought to myself that's a lot of months, yeah. And we were at my older sister's place and at the time she still lives up north, she's about an hour from us. I remember the. It was a new subdivision they had built and her neighbor had just gotten married in August and we are now in January and she was pregnant on her honeymoon. And I drove, I was driving home with Peter, and I said I'm not giving up, I'm not. I'm like no, you know, there's no way that someone's going to tell me I can't. I know I can. And he and he said okay, what are we going to do? I said we're going to go back and we're going to see our doctor. So in fact I saw our doctor.
Speaker 3Um, in in between all this, we had um two attempts at um IUI and then we had five IVF rounds that didn't work. Nothing caught One round. They retrieved eggs and when we wanted to use them they weren't viable, so they were all basically tossed, discarded. There was nothing really to do and we decided to explore other options and I made the decision, not knowing what was the judgment, we decided to use an egg donor.
Speaker 3I've never shared that with Amy, wow, wow, and I have no shame in admitting it now because I think at this point I'm, I am who I am and I won't. Everyone has a story. This is my whole judgment part. Everyone's got a story and, uh, I'm not ashamed. Our parents don't know. Um, there's only one person, my, my best friend, who I had right by my side the entire time and, um, you know, we, we did that, it was, yeah, it was yeah, fertility was it was. It puts you through the ringer mentally, physically, emotionally. Anyway, and, funny enough, we try our first transfer and it didn't work and I was hell bent. I'm like that's it, I'm done. We have explored every single option and avenue and at that point I was not working for about a year and a bit and I said that's it, I'm going back to work, I'm going to fix up my resume, I'm getting back out there. And then we said we'll do the second, one more transfer, and if this doesn't work, I'm done. And then we said we'll do the second, one more transfer, and if this doesn't work, I'm done. That transfer worked. And I remember getting a phone call from the nurses. My HCG levels were so high. She thought I was having twins.
Speaker 3Peter came home that night from work. I called him. Actually I was in hysterics when I called him and he right away shut his laptop flat because he thought I was giving him bad news. And I told him, peter, I'm pregnant. And he was beyond. He's like you need me to come home. I'm like, no, I'm good, I'm too tired anyway, because I was sleeping a lot. Yeah, um, yeah. And now I still have four eggs left for embryos not eggs, embryos, um. I'm too old now. I don't think my patience is there anymore. However, I would love it if George just did have, you know, a sibling. And I think at that time, like maybe you know, four or five years ago, it would have been easier, but now it's, we're good, we're happy. You know, when he's my world, it's we're good, we're happy. You know, when he's my world, he really is my world, yeah.
Speaker 2So it's Wow. You know, I kept the whole time you were talking. I was like you are so resilient, I mean you. You've been in some dark places, you have landed on your feet and looked up and that's that up that you were talking about before.
Speaker 3Yeah, I can't. I can't keep my head down, Amy, I can't. If I do, I know I'm just I'm going to spiral and I can't let that happen for me, first and foremost for my. Secondly, I have to, and this is why I don't like. Someone said to me once and this was we're talking like 25, 30 years ago, I used to work at a hair salon as a receptionist and somebody said oh, I saw you walking in the hallway, but you didn't. You weren't looking up, you were looking down. And I remember thinking I'm too busy looking down, that I'm not looking up and enjoying what's in front of me and that's the whole. Like me having my head up. It makes me like it's just a, it's a silly reminder. I don't even think Peter even knows this, but I always like keeping my head up because it just I want to look you. You know upward and onward. You know, blue sky of opportunity is what I say.
Speaker 2I love that. Nikki, what would you wish that you could tell yourself? Or not just yourself, but what about those other people out there that might be feeling some of the same things that you have? What? What would you say? What kind of encouragement could you offer?
Speaker 3It's hard, it's lonely, but don't give up, and I know that's such a cliche, because everybody would say that, um, don't stop for what you want, never stop for what you want. And don't let anybody, anybody doctors, parents, priests, friends tell you that you can't do or have something that you want. Because I was determined and I still am, and when I look at the level of resilience, like I'm like, well, no, no doctor's going to tell me that I can, absolutely not. I'm like, when there is a will, there's a way and have faith Again, cliche to most, but for me that was huge Having faith. I really believed it. So I did the abundance program. It was included in my six month coaching and I'm going to show you very quickly, and I know that you know they can't, but this is my reminder every day and if you can see it, it says abundance is believing.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3And at the bottom I think it says that if I change my mindset and believe it is possible and to me this is every morning. Every morning I believe it I'm like, nope, no one's stopping me today. Nope, nothing's gonna, you know, not get, there's not. There might be a roadblock, but I will be damned if that roadblock stops me before I get over it. And that's when I say I'm like I believe I really do Like the abundance program to help a lot, because it was something about changing your mindset.
Speaker 3And you hear you're changing. You change your mindset in the moment when you're going through something, but when you're not, when I was doing the abundance program, I wasn't going through anything, but I'm like I believe. I believe I'm entitled to good things, and why shouldn't good things happen to me back then? I believe I should be a mother. Why can't I be a mother? I'm not letting anybody tell me that I'm not going to be a mother one day. This is so important to me. And believe, believe, have faith, keep going, do not give up. Don't let anyone tell you that you should, that you should try something else or it's not working. No, absolutely not.
Encouragement and Final Thoughts
Speaker 2I like that. And again, you say daily so that's something right there. Sometimes you know you're going to feel it and sometimes you're going to just have to say it and know that the feeling is going to come. We've talked about so many different things. Is there something that we didn't cover, that you wanted to make sure we did, coach.
Speaker 3No, I'm here as an open book today. I I didn't know. It's funny. I asked Becca. I'm like, oh my god, I'm so nervous I don't know if I'm gonna do good, or she's like you're not gonna do good or bad. It's just you're just being yourself and I'm. You know, this is me just being myself.
Speaker 2I think we're gonna to have to do another episode that as you go through this journey, you're going to have so many insights, and so I want to capture those. How do people get in touch with you?
Speaker 3So I have my Instagram page. I've got two. I've got a personal one and a business one. My business is called with love by Nikki, because everything I do, I do it with love, and this is the whole me having such a big heart and, you know, taking the sweater off my back for you and meeting all of you on the retreat and having one of the hosts tell us, you know, write your name. And you know, I kind of didn't understand the assignment, or maybe I just misunderstood the assignment. Anyway, I just realized that I'm such a simple person but the one thing that I have is so much love. So my, uh, my Instagram is called with love, um, with love by dot Nikki, and, um, my phone number is on there and you could click the link in the bio to set up a chat with me for whatever it is that you, you know, want to change in your space and make it something that's a reflection of you and things that are important to you that.
Speaker 2That is fabulous. All right, I have one more question. Yes, you had a superpower and you could have it for 24 hours. You can use it personally or professionally. What would the superpower be? How would you use it and why would it be your choice?
Speaker 3Oh my, God, a superpower? Wow, I've never been stumped on a question. Honestly, it's almost like one of those. You know, I dream of genie moments where you blink your eyes and I'm trying to think like I can't say superpower, but if I could, I'd want to be Elastigirl. I'd want to be Elastigirl, Be as flexible as possible.
Speaker 2What would you do as Elastigirl?
Speaker 3Elastigirl, I'd be more flexible.
Speaker 3I just I think the superpower and I don't know if this is the right answer or wrong answer, but it's going to be my answer I want to try and be the best mom in the whole wide world for my son.
Speaker 3I'm not sure if that relates or if that's really a good answer, but I would want to be able to dedicate enough time to give him everything he wants to play with him, enough to feed him right to dress him well and just be that mom that is able to do all of that, because there's a lot of other moms that are busier than I am. But that would be a superpower for me is just being able to give him everything that he needs in present day. You know going forward and mold. You know going forward and and mold. You know not molding him but letting him be himself, and you know this little human growing but helping him and guiding him. I'd love to be able to just give him all of what I feel like I sometimes don't give him Um super mom, or at least the idea, my idea of super mom, or at least the idea my idea of super mom.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, I like it. Nikki, this has been fabulous. I cannot thank you enough. It is a joy to reconnect and I know that the listeners have connected with you instantly, so thank you very much.
Speaker 3Oh, Miss Amy, thank you for having me. I was so. I didn't think that Becca was going to respond when I had written back on the group chat. So I feel honored that you actually wanted to hear my story and chat with me and get to know me and to your listeners a little bit more on who I am. And I'm grateful that I met you because you and your daughters were a huge inspiration to me, Huge.
Speaker 1Stop to the beat of my own drum.
Speaker 2I got my pockets full of dreams and they're busting. Find Stacked Keys Podcast on Spotify, soundcloud and iTunes or anywhere you get your favorite podcast. Listen. You'll laugh out loud, you'll cry a little, you'll find yourself encouraged. Join us for casual conversation that leads itself, based on where we take it, from family to philosophy, to work, to meal prep, to beautifully surviving life. And hey, if I could ask a big favor of you, go to iTunes and give us a five rating. The more people who rate us, the more we get this podcast out there.
Speaker 1Thanks, I appreciate it, my thing and I hold the key to all my wants and all my dreams Like an old song. Everything will be all right when I let myself go with the night. Gotta stomp to my own drum, stomp to my own song, stomp, hey, gonna put all my boots in the room. Bye, thank you.