Stacked Keys Podcast
The idea to talk to women who are out there living and making a difference is where the Stacked Keys Podcast was born. There are women who make a difference, but never make a wave while paddling through life. Immediately I can think of a dozen or more who impacted me, but I want more. I want to talk to those I don't know and I want to share with an audience that might need the inspiration to find their own beat. This podcast is to feature women who are impressive in the work world-- or in raising a family -- or who have hobbies that can make us all be encouraged. Want to hear what makes these women passionate and get up in the morning or what they wish they had known earlier in life? Grab your keys and STOMP to your own drum.
Stacked Keys Podcast
Episode 231 -- Stephanie Watts -- Finding Strength in Vulnerability
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What happens when everything you've built crumbles and you're left to rebuild from scratch? Stephanie Watts knows this journey intimately. Once a successful nurse and pharmaceutical developer, her life took a devastating turn when severe illness struck, eventually diagnosed as Lyme disease after years of misdiagnoses and deteriorating health.
In this deeply moving conversation, Stephanie reveals how rock bottom became the foundation for something beautiful. "I realized through all of this that no one was going to come save me," she shares with remarkable candor, detailing her path from survival mode to thriving. After spending decades trying to fit into spaces where she never belonged and facing both professional setbacks and personal trauma, Stephanie discovered that safety—the most basic human need—had always been missing from her equation.
The wisdom Stephanie shares feels hard-won and genuine. She distinguishes between wishing (planting seeds then immediately digging them up) and realizing dreams (planting seeds and trusting the process). Her reflections on failure are particularly powerful: "Strength is showing up when everything inside of you wants to give up, when you have justifiable reasons to give up." For anyone who's been paralyzed by perfectionism or fear, these words offer sweet liberation.
Today, Stephanie has transformed her painful journey into Vitality Wellness Apothecary and Market in Wetumpka, Alabama—a sanctuary where people can find healing, community, and acceptance. Her approach embodies what she calls the "open hand method," releasing the scarcity mindset that once kept her trapped. Perhaps most beautiful is witnessing how her personal healing extends across generations, as she finds profound joy in being "Lolly" to her grandson Clay.
Whether you're facing health challenges, navigating life transitions, or simply seeking to live more authentically, Stephanie's journey offers both inspiration and practical wisdom. Connect with her mission by visiting the store, joining one of their community events, or exploring their holistic offerings—because as Stephanie reminds us, "You're stronger than you think you are."
Music "STOMP" used by permission of artist Donica Knight Holdman and Jim Huff
Episode Introduction
Speaker 1I'm walking all alone down my yellow brick road and I stomp to the beat of my own drum. I got my pockets full of dreams and they're busting at the seams, going boom, boom boom.
Speaker 2Welcome to Stacked Keys Podcast. I'm your host, amy Stackhouse. This is a podcast to feature women who are impressive in the work world or in raising a family, or who have hobbies that make us all feel encouraged. Want to hear what makes these women passionate to get up in the morning, or what maybe they wish they'd known a little bit earlier in their lives. Grab your keys and stomp to your own drum.
Speaker 1Whatever you do, it ain't nothing on me, because I'm doing my thing and I hold the key to all my wants and all my dreams Like an old song everything will be all right.
Speaker 2Oh, I'm so excited today I get to talk with someone that I just met recently and she's kind of opened a whole world for me, so I am sure that she will do that for the listeners. So I welcome today Stephanie Watts. Welcome, stephanie.
Speaker 3Hey, thank you, I look forward to this. I'm excited. It was very I loved meeting you and your family, so so this is going to be fun.
Speaker 2Oh, thank you, we were. We were out and about and and actually walked in on you before your soft opening of your store.
Speaker 3And so we.
Speaker 2We got you probably before you were ready for the public and you were quite ready even then, so so I'm excited. Well, stephanie, right out of the gate, let's talk about who you are, both personally and professionally. How do people know you in both aspects of your life like that?
Meet Stephanie Watts: Personal and Professional
Speaker 3Okay, so in my personal life they know me as a mother. I'm a mother to two amazing daughters. My oldest one is a chiropractor in Fairhope, alabama, and my youngest one is a freshman at Mississippi State. I have a grandson who is three and a half years old and the light of my life. I love my little clay baby. I am L, you know, a young grandmother, so I didn't want to be granny or grandma or mama. I didn't feel like I had had gained enough experience yet to be one of those. So I loved Lolly Um, and so I am. I am little Clay's Lolly Um, and then, uh, I'm also very much passionate about health and all things that revolve around the ability to bring yourself back from basically death, and so that's.
Speaker 3A lot of people know me as the brains. I research, I dive into things, I um, I like my brain runs a thousand miles a minute, so I have to keep up with, with keeping myself kind of like. There's always a book around, there's always a podcast I'm listening to, there's always something. So everybody knows me as the resource chick. You know if they need anything they know, you know she'll research it. So that professionally, I was the jack of all trades. Growing up, I have done a lot of things. I've had a lot of jobs throughout my life, but the big one that everybody knows me as is I went to nursing school and I became a registered nurse and then I worked at a local hospital in Montgomery in the ER and then went into the quality department, wrote my job description there, did performance improvement coordination for the Baptist, and then I left that to go into pharmaceuticals and nutraceuticals. I was a pharmaceutical rep for a while and then went into nutraceuticals. I was a pharmaceutical rep for a while and then went into nutraceutical development and developed a company that we do a medical food and a supplement that have to do with the eyes and eye diseases, and we started that in 2008, 2009.
Speaker 3And then I got sick and I became the patient and my journey has been one of coming back from, at first not knowing what was wrong and being told some bad things, and then finding out oh wait, you have multiple sclerosis and you have scleritis of your eyes. And then it's oh wait, you have multiple sclerosis and you have scleritis of your eyes, and then it's oh wait, you have Lyme disease. That's why you keep getting sicker and sicker. So for me professionally.
A Journey Through Illness and Rebirth
Speaker 3I took a lot of losses over the years. For over a decade trusted somebody I shouldn't have and got myself in a world of hurt. Trusted somebody I shouldn't have and got myself in a world of hurt, and then I would say, since 2019, this has been my comeback story and coming back from illness and then everything that happened to going to school in my 40s and learning holistic nutrition, learning herbal medicine and then applying it on myself, becoming the guinea pig and then starting Vitality Wellness with my best friend, and so that's the story you came into and that's where my journey has led me up to right now.
Speaker 2Wow, that's a lot into a life that is not anywhere near done, but I mean that's a lot and a lot of transition. A lot of people would not go through such transition. I mean, you've got your one education, you've got your career, stay with that. But you didn't do that. You kept evolving and so I know that came out of some necessity, but was it scary along that way of going? Okay, I don't exactly know where this is headed.
Speaker 3It was terrifying it was, but it was one that I didn't have, a choice, because I so I'm one of those individuals that speaks very frankly about mental health and speaks very frankly about the trials in life.
Speaker 3I've seen the darkness, I've experienced the darkness, and for me it was one that I, because of what happened in my life and because of how my life, kind of went down this hill of sorrow and did, and it didn't work, and I survived. And I knew that if I had to live in this world and if I had to survive, I knew that I had to put my all into it because that was the only thing that was going to save me. And I realized through all of this that no one was going to come save me. I was the little girl that was still wanting to be chosen, wanting to kind of fit into a world that I never fit into, fit into a world that I never fit into. And so for me, going back to school, changing my directions, it was one of. I didn't have the choice. It was either that or I wasn't going to survive. So so yeah, it was, I was fighting for my life.
Speaker 2Wow head. So where do you, how do you direct yourself? How do you find that compass that you know is the right one to follow?
Speaker 3That has taken me a while. That has taken me a long while to figure that out, because I grew up in chaos and because I was you know how. Sometimes, where you see people and you know they're like the perfect storm, that was me. And so for me, it was one that I realized I've listened to what everyone else has told me, I've listened to. I like, I wanted to, like I said, fit in, I wanted to find my space in this world. So I tried on so many different masks and I tried to be so many different things and finally, with complete destruction, with life completely falling apart around me, with you know kind of that proverbial, the rug being pulled out from underneath you, it gave me the opportunity to see that I did not. I was never taught how to trust myself, I was not ever, ever taught how to listen to me and because my feelings never mattered. And so now, coming to that point in my life where I think you know you go through perimenopause, you go through menopause. It allows you to drop those skins and everything, and I think now it's having that still moment, those moments of quiet time, those moments of what do I actually feel, what do I want to do? Who do I want to be? Where do I want to go? What do I actually feel? What do I? What do I want to do? Who do I want to be? Where do I want to go? What do I even like? I think that's what's getting me to see what direction to take, because I never trusted myself. I never trusted, yeah, I didn't. So to answer that would be that looking back now and not being attached so much to the story and creating some quiet time being in nature, that's another one.
Speaker 3I get up every morning and I walk, I try to walk every morning. And being out in the country, kind of the country, kind of you know, when you see, when you see a, a tree, or you see a plant or something that's growing really weird and it it makes no sense how it's growing there. Everybody talks about the dandelion that's in the concrete, you know, and it's like out of nowhere, all of a sudden, this plant comes up. I think when I see that, it gives me that moment of I'm meant to be here and I'm meant to discover me and I'm going to bloom wherever I'm planted and and so, yeah, it's been, it's been a. It's hard to that, that's a hard question for me, as you can kind of tell, because I'm going around the world, but, but it's been, because I have now started to learn even how to listen to myself. I didn't know how to do that.
Finding Your Inner Compass
Speaker 2Yeah, it's really interesting that you talk about. You know, you see a tree and it's like why is it like that? Or how? We were in the woods this past weekend and and there was that tree that it had. It had the, the bend in it that made the perfect bench, and then it went back up and you wonder what made it turn? Yep, go a different direction and a lot times going back to that nature. It's reaching for that sunlight, it's reaching for that open space. So that kind of correlates to what you've done in your life, actually gone way out now to bring something to people that may or may not even know that they need it. But it's just this freshness. So you've opened a store in Wautumpka, alabama, alabama, and so tell me about that, because that's a leap of faith too.
Speaker 3Yeah, it is. So we've opened up Vitality Wellness Apothecary and Market. It's basically been a dream of mine, since I actually allowed hope back into my life, of creating a space that allows people to come in Number one find community, because that's huge for me. I, yeah, isolation was a big thing for me, and so finding community is huge. So I wanted to create a space that brought people together from all walks of life, a safe space, a space where you can drop all of the bags right when you walk in the door and you can feel this sense of being nurtured, this sense of coming home, this sense of I'm in the right place, that I matter, that all of me matters, even the stuff I don't want to show, even the stuff I don't want to talk about. It matters to show, even the stuff I don't want to talk about. It matters. And then, a place of seeing how wellness and health are more than just a diet. They're more than just a supplement. They're more than just am I doing this right? Am I eating the right way? Am I sleeping the right way? Am I doing all of these things? It's creating a space that allows you to drop in and figure out you and I just help kind of interpret some of those messages that I see by the tools that I use, that are coming forward, that are saying you know, hey, you might need to focus on this. And then it never fails.
Speaker 3Halfway through a session with me, people will say I knew that, I knew that was an issue for me. I can, I mean, I've always known that the other part is my best friend. She is amazing, andrea. She came along on this journey with me and she has seen me at my worst and she believes in me so much and I also, you know, have watched her go through her tragedies and her pain and her sorrow, and she is one of the most creative, gifted humans you will ever come across. She's the doer they call me the brains and her the doer, and she, like she can take your dream and she's made it into a reality, like how you see the style of the store and everything. That's her and she's this beautiful spirit that is also seeking and searching.
Speaker 3So I think it's. I think honestly it's both of us coming together polar opposites in some ways, but alike in a lot of ways, and bringing this environment that allows especially women to come in and and to just embrace yourself and and to find what you're seeking and and if we can't find it, we'll find somebody that can um and and help you along to see you're not alone, you're not broken, you're not crazy, you're not all of those things that we have been fixated on as a society to try to sell something. It's more along the lines of come back to you or even find you. I think that's the big thing is find yourself, and then, you know, have a little bit of education along the way.
Speaker 2Yeah, that, I think, is so huge because you walk in and it's a beautiful facility and there's so many things to look at and touch and and then to ask questions. So questions are a welcome to you they are very much so.
Speaker 3I love communicating, even though I'm terrified of people, I love communication. So, yeah, I, I welcome anything. I mean like, if you want to come in and have a discussion, let's have a discussion. If you want to come in and have a discussion, let's have a discussion. If you want to come in and ask questions, please do Like I, oh God, I, um, because part of my story, um, there was some paralysis and I, I lost the use of my vocal cords for a while.
Speaker 3Um, and I lost my ability to read for a while. Um, I could see the words, but I couldn't tell you what they were. It was like it all became Greek on the page and I couldn't speak the language. Um, and so for me, having the ability to do all of that and then have meeting, some incredible people I have met since opening this. I have met people that just amaze me the resilience, the perseverance, the compassion, the curiosity. You know, everybody's got a story, everybody's got things that have happened in their life that they don't talk about. And I guess, because I'm starting to own my story, I give off that vibe that you can tell me anything and people do and I welcome that because it's like I watch you when you're talking to me, I watch your body breathe.
Speaker 3It's amazing to see someone literally their shoulders drop their body, actually exhale all of that and then they feel, when they leave, they feel lighter and they'll they'll say, you know, man, this was, this is so cool. Sometimes I don't even know what we just said, but this is so cool, you know. So. So yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2Well, as you opened up this business and as you kind of blend parts of yourself all into it, there's a lot of vulnerability that you have there.
Speaker 3Do you ever unlock the door in the morning and go, what have I done to show up authentically? I want to show up as my best self. What if I say too much? You know what if I open the door too far, kind of thing, and she's like girl, just be you, just be you, you got this, you know? Yeah, vulnerability.
Vitality Wellness: Creating a Safe Space
Speaker 3It is because the reason why this story is the way it is is because of what happened, it's because of what I went through, it's because of what Andrea went through, it's because of our pain and our, our tragedy and our fear, and and it's also the fact that we're real, like we, like I, made huge mistakes and and I did things out of survival and I did things out of just trying to make sense of a life that made no sense whatsoever, and and so when, when I open the door up in the mornings and I walk in there, it's like I see, I see the beauty of the ashes, I see the beauty of the pain, I see the, the, everything that I longed for and wished for 10 years ago, right here in front of me, and it's so beautiful and it's so amazing, but it scares me to death because it's the pain is palpable for me and and I I was injured in the medical field, both professionally and personally, and I know how much responsibility that that that carries. When you're helping someone, when you're with someone in their darkest times, when you're with someone in their pain and you're coming alongside them while the tornado is just whipping around them and they have no idea where to start, where to look, where to anything, and you're extending a hand out to them, and it's that humbling moment of them, and it's that. It's that humbling moment of God. Please allow me to beat them exactly where they are, to help them and not harm them, and and and to let them see that better is possible. You know, and the only way that I know that I will, the only way that I know I will succeed in my life, in anything I do, is by showing up 100% me, and that means showing up warts, and all that means letting someone see that you can have a complete mess of a life, you can have things just completely shatter around you, and as long as you stick that hand out, it's going to be okay. It may not be perfect and it may hurt and it may be awful, but you're not alone and there's someone there. There is someone there. I guess it's paying homage to the people.
Speaker 3When my tornado was whipping all around me and life was being oh, I met some incredible people that I know are angels, because they came out of nowhere and they saw me at my worst and they loved me unconditionally and they didn't expect anything from me, they just saw me and every day they would tell me you got this, I believe in you, you're going to make it through this and even when I call it turtling, you know where you go within yourself and you don't want to come out and you don't want to mess with anybody and you don't want to.
Speaker 3And I did that so well, like so well, and they wouldn't let me do it. They would, they would pull me out. And so now, in vitality that's what vitality is is vitality is the ability for you to come back out, to put yourself back out there to say, okay, one more time, one more time, I'm going to do this one more time. And if a greyhound comes and hits me, it's going to be okay, but I'm going to do this one more time. And that's and that's it is is I literally? I watch amazing people. I watch people that have been broken. I watch people that have been hurt and are so confused, but they're so brave, they're so brave and I just I want them to know that they've got somebody.
Speaker 2Yeah, well, and it sounds like it's different for everybody that walks in. I mean, somebody might walk in and merely want to change their laundry detergent, and which I've done, by the way, and I love it, but but I mean, but then you've got somebody that's struggling with some health issues and you've got the the insight to kind of work with them where they are actually and what can happen next. So, but you know, you've you've had dreams of what you could do. But what do you think the difference in wishing for something and realizing it are different, or is there a difference in wishing for something and realizing it are different? Or is there a difference in wishing and realizing your dreams?
Speaker 3I think there is a difference. Wishing to me is what I did for many, many years. Wishing is that where you, I don't, I don't, I don't know if I really want to say this a hundred percent this way, but wishing is almost that planting a seed and then digging it right back up because you're not, you're not committed to it. So wishing is that that I'm, I'm putting it out there. I think this is what I want, I think this is where I want to go.
Speaker 3Wishing is important because it it identifies, but it's not. It's not putting it in the dirt, putting the dirt over the top of it, watering it and walking away and knowing that that seed is going to grow and leaving it alone. You know, going and doing the next step, going and doing the next thing For me. I always wished and I wished for a different life and I wished for a different family or I wished for all these different things, but I never had the resources that taught me how to go from the hundred thousand view to the what's the next step? What's the baby step? So I think wishing is the childhood dream, and then realizing is walking into the adulthood, where you're not the child anymore and you're leaving the seed in the dirt and you're going on and doing the next right thing.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, I like that. It's kind of a maturity aspect of the whole process.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 2You've gotten some of that as you've gone along. How would you define strong? I mean you've had to have some different aspects of strength.
Speaker 3So how do you define strong? To me, strong is literally showing up for yourself every day, regardless of what's going on. Strong is when you look in the mirror and you hate what you see or you want to change it so bad and you don't know how, in that very moment, but you have to. Just you have to like fingernail it, like grip, and you know and just persevere. And that strength. Strength is showing up when everything inside of you wants to give up, when you have justifiable reasons to give up. Strength is saying you know what? I'm gonna try again. I'm not gonna believe what my mind is telling me right now and I'm gonna just show up. I'm not going to believe what my mind is telling me right now and I'm going to just show up. I'm going to show up for myself.
Speaker 3Strength is taking care of your kids when you can't even take care of yourself. Strength is cooking dinner when all you want to do is just run away. Strength is taking a shower, brushing your teeth. Self-care that you don't even realize shows yourself that you're worth taking care of. Strength is admitting failure. It's admitting mistakes. Strength is something that I think we don't realize we have until after everything is passed and you kind of look back and you go I made it. I don't know how I made it, but I made it. But then you start realizing OK, yeah, I did the hard things, I faced the hard truths. I looked in the mirror, I took a really good inventory of myself and I realized you know, I can do things. I can do hard things. Strength is also pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. I think that's another good one.
Speaker 2Wow, you've got a lot of good ones there, and so visual I mean, I can see the fingernail grip and the you know just hanging on because that next step is going to reflect that strength, I mean from from what you're saying. So, so there's differences in our wants and needs, but I was, as I was listening to you, I was thinking about wants and needs and thinking sometimes a want becomes a need or a need slides over to the want. Have you had some of those where you've had to kind of take stock and go okay, this is something I really need. This one day won't you've progressed from going into somebody else's place of business still serving everything you've done is service mode, and so you kind of have to define those wants and needs for yourself on the daily yeah, wants and needs were always a.
Speaker 3They were always um tricky for, I guess you could say, because when you grow up not having your needs met, you kind of start getting confused on what a need is versus a want, of start getting confused on what a need is versus a want, and so I think there's this piece of you that has to go on whatever journey it is that you're going on in your life, in order for you to recognize what is an actual want and then what is my actual need. I also would act like I didn't need anything, because if I needed something, then that meant that you had power over me. And so I grew up with a violent father, very violent father, that was in and out of my life and that set me up to a marriage that was a very violent marriage, and anytime that anything I wanted, anything, it was used against me. So I think part of my journey has been uncovering what wants and needs are and then saying it's OK that I have needs and it's OK that I have wants. But yeah, I wanted for a long time to be loved. I wanted for a long time to be loved. I wanted for a long time to be important. I wanted for a long time to matter to something or someone, and you can see the decisions that I made throughout my lifetime in my teens, 20s, 30s, 40s. They were shaped around that, when the whole time what I was really needing was safety. What I was really needing was to look within myself and believe in myself.
Speaker 3I wanted to be rich for a long time, and that was my quest. I wanted to be rich for a long time, and that was my quest. I wanted to make money, I wanted to be successful, because then you couldn't hurt me, because then you know I was, I was going to be able to take care of myself and I wouldn't need anybody. Right, and I did become very successful, but that did not keep me safe, yeah, and so that was that. Like that's that piece of my wants have changed as I've aged, my needs have definitely changed, and I think it's because, throughout all of this, it allowed me the ability to understand what wants and needs are.
Speaker 3Like I really didn't. I did not know what wants and needs were, because I didn't think I mattered. So it was, and I became I mean, like everybody, you become obsessed, especially in this society. You become obsessed with becoming someone or becoming something or um, wanting the like. I wanted the family that I didn't have.
Understanding Wants vs. Needs
Speaker 3Growing up, you know, I wanted the, the raise my kids in the same home with my husband. I wanted my children to go to the same school they started school and graduate from. I wanted all of those things that I didn't have. But at the end of the day, and in nursing school, we were taught Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and you know, it kind of starts at the bottom with safety and it goes up to the different levels until you get to self-actualization, and for me, that bottom one was never met. I wasn't safe, and I think that's the thing that I want to impress upon my clients or anybody that comes into the store or anything with wants and needs is pointing you in a direction. Right, because they were. They were pointing me in a direction of did I matter? Did I this and all this kind of stuff, but at the end of the day, it was my number one need of safety was not there, and so, therefore, nothing that I did was sustainable because I was in survival mode.
Speaker 2Right. So even those wants I mean a lot of the wants you said people want those things, they want to be, they want to be appreciated, they want to be fulfilled or not negative, but it's you really said something there that's strong, and I think that's if safety doesn't come before that, and then you're you're trying to fill the wrong, the wrong vial all the time. I guess I mean yeah, and it's because it's like, yeah, all those things are very important to us and they're not your three basic needs. You know food, shelter and whatever. Yeah, but it's like you know food shelter and whatever.
Speaker 2Yeah, but like you know, there's still, but it's almost like you had a hole in it the whole time you were filling up. That that kind of undermined anything that you were trying to do. Did you have a hero along the way?
Speaker 3Um, I did have a hero when I was young, was young, very young. It was my great grandmother and she was, I mean, like she was my hero. She died when I was 16. And so that was a broken piece of me, because I grew up thinking she was my mother, like I really did think she was my mom, um, and so she was my hero.
Speaker 3She's kind of it's very interesting, she is my inspiration for vitality, wellness, because she was the healer, she was the people came to her for remedies, people came to her for, uh, she was the community backbone, the spine of her little, her little village where she lived and everything, and and so she was my hero. I got after she passed. I didn't really have anybody, I kind of floated through life, and so that's where, for me, that I guess the seeker was born within me of of kind of trying to look and find, and and I was the daydreamer, I was the girl that would get lost in her dreams and in her head and, yeah, so that that was my, that was my one and only hero. Yeah, so that that was my that was my one and only hero, wow.
Speaker 2Well, and here she is today, popping up in your, your store for you. Oh yeah, Well, tell me what your day is like. I mean, you could go a million different directions in the life that you're leading now. What's a typical day for Stephanie that you're leading now. What's a typical day for Stephanie?
Speaker 3A typical day for me is I get up, I go, I either do what my daughter has labeled my circle exercises, which is a really cool little circle. I literally move every joint in my body. It's a blend of all kinds of different things. Um, it's a blend of all kinds of different things, um, but I do that. I go walk. Um, we live out here on about 53 acres in the middle of nowhere, and so I get up and go out and I walk with her, the big great Dane dog that that Andrea has walk with her every morning. Um, then I get my booty ready and I get to the store and it's basically trying to establish like, what am I going to focus on today? What brings me today? Um, which clients if I have clients, you know, kind of going through and looking at their information that they've sent in and what they have have going on with them. Um, some of the exciting part is being able now to look at inventory and see what new stuff we can get in. It's watching podcasts or some type of research. Every day I'm looking at something.
Speaker 3I'm trying to build my full materia medica, which is basically in the medical world. You have the physician's desk reference, which has all of the medications that can be given and all the reasons as to why they're using it and the side effects and the contraindications and all that kind of stuff. Well, in the herb world we have what's called a Materia Medica, and it's all of the plants that you can use. It's it's um, how you can harvest them, what parts you use, uh, what medications you need to look out for what conditions and constitutions they work really well with. So I'm trying to build that. So it's picking different ones and kind of starting and going through them, and so I've been doing that and then meeting everybody you know, like, like it's truly cool to see who comes into the store on a daily basis and who I get to meet, who I get to encounter.
Speaker 3What's going on today? Yeah, it's awesome. And we've got, like you said, we've got so much in there that you can use to live a healthy lifestyle, because the one thing is our conveniences while they're great, some of them are not good for us, right, and so it's trying to find those healthy swaps. So that's where it's fun researching that and seeing what all we can use and what we can change and and everything. And by the end of the night. I have luckily used, hopefully, a lot of my mice in my head and they're ready to take a nap and I'm able to go to sleep. My brain runs a thousand miles a minute, so having to wear out in order for me to go to sleep at night.
Speaker 2That is so funny, I'm going to have to use that. That's like I said when you're talking, I get these visuals. You know that you're very good at hanging something on. Well, you know there's a lot of competition that you face in your day because you know there's this product, there's this, there's this method, there's this traditional medicine, there's something alternative. What do you feel when you hear the word competition?
Speaker 3now I can actually say I'm not afraid of competition, because I know that it's kind of weird, I'm fixing to say this, but I'm proud of myself. Um, competition to me. Now I realize I'm not competing with anybody else, I'm competing with me, and the other is yeah, there are so many options out there, there are so many different healing traditions, there's so many people, but I am not everybody's cup of tea and I know for myself. I had to go through so many different medical people practitioners, holistic practitioners, doctors, all of that until I found the people that I truly vibed with, that I truly vibed with. And so for me, I know that there's not another me out there and there's not another you out there, and so the right people are going to find me. And then the people that I don't vibe with or it's okay, I'm not here to get everybody, I can't and so I'm trying to practice a method that I've been reading about that's called the open hand method, and it's basically like you know how you have the scarcity mindset and then you have the growth mindset, and I have lived my life in the scarcity mindset so much and I have been afraid of losing everything, so I would grip, tighten on really, really tight, and I would try to hold on to everything because of fear that I wake up and it's not there. And now I'm trying to practice the art of open hand, trying to practice the art of open hand. And open hand to me is the ability to say what's going to come is going to come and what's going to go is going to go. And as long as I keep my hands open, then I am here to serve a purpose and that at the end of the day, I haven't lost really anything.
Speaker 3And I had an experience recently by someone that I respected, someone that I thought very highly of, and she kind of reminded me of how human we all are and how, when we get stuck in that closed hand, we actually harm ourselves. And I referred somebody to her to ask for advice and she shut them down so fast because of her scarcity mindset and she degraded them Like how dare you ask me for this? You know, like just that pompous attitude and it shocked me a bit, like took me back and I realized right then, and there it takes a lot of courage to open your hands. It takes a lot of courage to not be afraid of competition, to not be afraid of. Somebody might move in next door and they take my business away from me. Or someone might open up a larger place than I can or offer more services or do grander things than I can.
Speaker 3But at the end of the day, if I can help one person, if I can seriously look into somebody, that I see what I saw in myself the broken fear, the hating your life or hating your world, or just nothing seems to be going right. I mean we don't have to go so dark, but you know what I'm saying. Like you know just seeing that pain. If I can help and let that one person see that they're not alone, then it's all worth it. It's all worth it. And competition is a good thing because it keeps me on my toes, you know. It allows me the ability to show up better for myself and better for you, but not in a cheesy way. I don't. I don't ever want to be the used car salesman in the holistic world, Like I just don't want to have the things outside the store that do the, you know the way, come in, come in, come in.
Speaker 3And I don't want to be that cheesy, you know, but wait, there's more. You know, like that's, that's not me. So I don't want to be that cheesy, you know, but wait, there's more. You know, like that's, that's not me. So I don't want to ride that competitive, you know bus ride. I want to show up as myself and to offer the ability for somebody to be seen and to know that you know, hey, I got something here, there's something here and I'm going to, you know, ride this ride.
Speaker 2Yeah Well, and I know there's always going to be things you're going to need help with.
Speaker 4What are some of the?
Speaker 2things that you, that you're going to turn to somebody for, and have you found that, in opening a business, there are some things that maybe you weren't quite aware of were going to be on your daily task?
Speaker 3A lot Only one or two. I mean like everything.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Overcoming the Fear of Failure
Speaker 3Only one or two. I mean like everything, yeah, especially when you're the ADHD brain, that kind of can think of all these great things and then you go. I don't know how to do this, like, these are my dreams, but I don't know how to put them into action. Absolutely, I need people. I have a therapist that I've had since 2018 and I would not trade her for anything I've had since 2018 and I would not trade her for anything. That woman has been with me through hell I mean absolute hell and I literally talk to her probably every week to two weeks. I have a session. I know that I need. I need encouragement, I need. I need someone that will also look at me and say what about this? Get out of your head, you know. So that's a big one.
Speaker 3I know for myself that I need financial guidance because I know how to make money, but I don't know how to invest it wisely. I was never taught. I need to know how to budget. I need to know how to make wise mind decisions when it comes to financials. So that's where I have pulled people in that do that. I had a really good mentor in business that told me. He said, stephanie, if you're the smartest person in the room, get out of the room, oh wow. And so I've kind of kept that as my, as my, you know, goalpost is if I, if I feel that then I know that I've put myself, I put myself on that false, you know, step stool that says I'm better when in reality I know I need help and I need assistance.
Speaker 3So financial would be one. The other one would be the ability to forecast better. In a business. I did not realize how important being able to break down the little steps that get you to your three-year five-year goal. So being able to break down the little steps that get you to your three-year five-year goal, so being able to forecast.
Speaker 3I didn't even know what turnover rate was in inventory. That was a new vocabulary lesson for me. You know of knowing how, with inventory, how long things should stay on your shelf and if they're not moving, what do you do with them and how you know like keeping that going. And the other thing too, is when you own a retail side of anything, I don't care who you are, but you always tend to buy what you like and what you think will sell. And in reality it doesn't work that way, because the majority of the things that have sold really, really well in the store we didn't think they would and they have flown off the shelves. We can't keep them on the shelf, and so that, I think, is not being so committed to your dream, I think is not being so committed to your dream.
Speaker 2But yeah see, that's fascinating because we are so tempted to be like well, everybody's like me. I mean, they want this, I wanted this, I like this, you'll like this, and you really have to come in as a neutral sometimes, but yet you're not, because you did all the buying. So right, how do you?
Speaker 3do that. That is, yeah, it is. It's it's learning from the mistakes of well, that didn't work out really well and, oh, that did work. Okay, why did that work? You know that kind of thing and and being open, like truly being like literally open hand, being flexible. And then I worked with the Small Business Administration of finishing up my business plan and getting that kind of concrete for future projections and future goals. Right Of you know, are we going to need any type of business loan that will help us expand or do all of this?
Speaker 3So it's very interesting learning the business side of owning a business. Like when you have two creatives together, it's very interesting to see how you kind of miss the boat on some of the things, so filling in those gaps. The other is understanding that I don't have to have it all figured out right now, like I don't as much as you want to have that five-year, three-year projected business plan. You can't forecast for life and there are things that are going to happen and there are things that are going to happen and there are things that are going to throw you sideways. And it's being able to step back and another good one, another resource that has been is not taking failure, so daggum personal.
Speaker 2You know I want to go down that road because I hate failure, I hate the word, I hate it, and I've heard a lot of people lately saying failure is not a bad thing, failure is something you need to embrace, and I'm like, but as you've grown up, failure is not an option. You know up, failure is not an option, you know you can't and and in our kids it became even more so. Because you, you fail on this, your opportunities are gone. I mean, that's just like how you so talk to me about that. How have you worked through those thoughts? And and do you even have those thoughts?
Speaker 3oh gosh, do I have those thoughts? Yeah, I punished. I grew up being punished for mistakes, and so for me, mistakes were labeled absolute, life and death. Failures Like and I think that's the evolution of myself through my journey is realizing that mistakes are going to happen.
Speaker 3And I hate to say this because I've heard so many people say it and I just sit there and go, really, but you learn the most from the mistakes, because I can't remember all of the wisdom I gained from my successes, but I sure can tell you all the things that I learned from those mistakes that burned me, and I have made some of the most horrible mistakes that have cost me everything my livelihood, my ability to go and do some things, my, I mean like I have had one of the worst mistakes that you could have in the United States and I'm still here and I'm able to open up my business and I'm able to do things that I never thought I was able to do. And I'm over here doing, proving to myself every day that my worst failure, on my worst day of my entire life, it doesn't define me unless I let it, because nobody else is holding it against me, you know.
Speaker 3And so that's that piece within me of I hated failure. I hated failure so bad because I thought that it meant I was not worthy of love and I thought it meant that I was not worthy of having a seat at the table. And then I've come to realize that it's just the evolution of us as a people, like a society. We have society norms, we have society rules, but none of us can tell us who defined them. But yet we still carry them out as if they're etched in stone, like the law of gravity or anything like that. And it's not, it's. We have a choice, and so every day it's.
Speaker 3Do I put the weight of the failure back on my shoulders or do I set the weight down and say what was the wisdom I gained from it? How can I make better decisions today and just go forth and live my life, you know, and not let that failure define me, because I have. I have let it define me something major, to the point where I almost did not open up this business, because I was terrified of people finding out my failures and terrified of people finding out my story and terrified of people judging me. That I judged myself for you. So for me, I guess my journey right now is is this is what happens, this is who I am and it doesn't define me. But if you want to hold it against me, have go ahead, let it. You know, have a have a great day doing that. But I don't encourage you to, because it's really awful, you know.
Speaker 3But but, yeah, little little mistakes and if you think about it, our parents, you know the survival rate of people went back, you know, in the 1930s and 40s, and all of that was maybe 55, 58 years old. So, yeah, if you made a lot of failures in your 30s and 40s, well, you didn't have really a great life moving out where the average lifespan is like 78 now. So yeah, going on this, I was just listening to a podcast and have you ever been so tired of hearing the 30 under 30 or the 40 under 40? And how wonderful? I think that's great. I really do. But I want to see the 50 over 50 and the 60 over 60 and the 70 over 70. I want to see people redefine themselves and see that your life is not over. I'll be 50 this year and I just came out of one of the worst decades of my life, but yet I'm actually excited for my future yeah, because here you go right, you've got something different.
Speaker 2You know, I've watched some people redefine themselves. We get these opportunities, just even if nothing tragic has happened in your life. You get an opportunity of this. Part of your life closes, so you get to go into another aspect, this part. You know your kids are born. You wind up no kids. Then you have kids. Then your kids grow then and you get to become something new.
Speaker 2And I watched my mom redefine her life and become a whole different person. I mean, I was telling somebody the other day when my father passed away. She ended up moving and she literally gave us our wedding album and pictures back and you were like, well, gee, thanks. And she said I have to create a whole new me. And I did not understand that. I was like, well, I'm still a part of your life. But as the years went on, yeah, I was a part of a new life with her, a new of what she found fun and energizing, and so it's really kind of neat.
Speaker 2And then I've watched some other women. There's a lady that's in the pool with me every morning and she's 82. And she has a whole nother life. And so I'm looking and one day. This was absolutely freaky. There was two 42 year olds. I'm 62. This lady's 82. And so it's like, well, here's a life, here's a life, here's a life. And you kind of got this span and then you went, but we're all doing kind of the same thing at different levels or whatnot, and for different reasons, but it was invigorating to go. Look, life is really what you put into it, and so I like what you're talking about. With the failure, though, and figuring out why failure was a problem for you, that's probably huge for a lot of people. Listening of why we don't want to fail probably goes back to childhood, of how it was approached. So, all of the difficulties that you've faced and the things that you've gone through some you've shared about and some you've alluded to how do you take that and make yourself a better Lolly, oh, oh, and make yourself a better.
The Healing Power of Family Connection
Speaker 2Lolly oh.
Speaker 4Oh, oh, oh.
Speaker 3Oh, that one's a good one, mm. Oh, that one's a good one. I think for me, I know for me, it is showing up, it is I was.
Speaker 2This is very special to me. It's okay.
Speaker 3My oldest daughter saved my life. She moved me in with her in 2021. And that allowed me to get my divorce, and she was pregnant with my grandson and I was there the day that baby boy was born, the day that my grandson, that my daughter had my grandson and I was there every day after that and I got to see this precious little boy every day. I was there for his first steps. I was there for his conversations, first words.
Speaker 3I think we have missed the boat in the United States about thinking that we have to live independently because there was some magic that happened of seeing your child have their child and holding them for the first time and realizing that all of the chaos and all of the trauma that I grew up with and all of the things that I longed for as a little kid I was actually watching my daughter do that with her son and I realized that I did that with my daughter, that I gave that to her.
Speaker 3And when I moved away and I moved back up here to Wetumpka, I knew it was going to hurt not being with them every day, but I knew I had to start my life and seeing him he loves to FaceTime me and he loves. And he can't say lolly, yet he says wally, and so when I hear it it's like I light up on the inside and and I think just letting him see how much I love him. And he doesn't have to do anything, he doesn't have to be anybody, he doesn't have to perform, he doesn't have to meet my needs or none of that. It is the. It is. The most beautiful and precious thing is to just see his little face when he lights up and he smiles and and and. Seeing my daughter, mama, him and her hold him and and her play with him and and. It just makes me really happy. It makes me feel like everything I went through was so worth it Because I get to see a different life.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3Yeah, I'm really grateful that I get to see my children have a have a very different life than I did, and I'm very grateful that I get to see them step into their womanhood and step into that. They're amazing. And then to see Clay and to see him smile and be so adventurous and to see him not be afraid of the shadow or not be afraid of loud noises or not be afraid of loud noises or not be afraid of it's awesome. It's incredible. And how I show up for him is I give him the biggest hugs. I let him feel my love, my affection.
Speaker 3I don't hide it, I don't stiffen, I don't tell him I can't play or I don't have time. I make time and I make him a priority and I make my daughters a priority and I make what I value a priority and for me, that is relationships and that's my goal. That's my goal is to. When I lay my head down at night I have always said this when I lay my head down at night, I want my children and my grandchildren to know that I love them. I don't ever want them to lay their head down and wonder if their mom or grandmother loves them Goes full circle back into relationships.
Speaker 2So why should I come into the store?
Final Thoughts and Key Takeaways
Speaker 3Why should you not? Why you should come into the store, because it's amazing, because it is, it's laughter, it's, it's company, it's conversation, it's community, it's. I mean we're doing all kinds of different things. We have the sound healers come in. I don't know if you've ever experienced a sound bath, but it is amazing. Sound healers come in. I don't know if you've ever experienced a sound bath, but it is amazing. Laying there and listening, you become the sound. I mean it's like you become the storm, you become the sounds of nature all around you. It totally encompasses you.
Speaker 3We also have, like sourdough bread making class and she's a chef and she's going to feed you, so you get good food and then we're. We've got Tanner that works with us. She's doing a Spanish speaking class to help if you want to learn how to speak Spanish and conversation and all so she's doing that on on Monday evenings and. And we've got yoga with Charlene and and she's amazing and and and doing that. The class was like that and I'm always looking for things that that will help you grow as a person. So that's why you should come in. You should come in to grow, you should come in to to find out your best self and bring her or him forward and let us all benefit from meeting you and seeing you and get to know your story and how we can best serve you.
Speaker 2Yeah, oh, that's great. So if you could, if this were your platform, you can shout really loud. What would you say?
Speaker 3You're stronger than you think you are. You're an amazing, amazing creation. It's okay to hurt, it's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to fail, it is okay to start over as many times as it takes, and that your voice matters, all of you matters, every part of you matters, and that you have something beautiful within you. And I want everyone, I want everyone to realize that and to realize that life is short, you know, and to live your life, to enjoy it, to love, to eat again, to to love to laugh again, and and to find, to find what brings you joy and make that your your purpose. And you know the path that every, if we want to dissect each other, you know, then what brick makes you happy and go do it, try it. If you fail, so what? Try again.
Speaker 2Oh, this has been great. How do people get in touch with you? How do they follow you? Where do they find you?
Speaker 3So my website is vitalitywellnessapothecarycom. You can find us on Facebook Vitality Wellness Apothecary Market and then on Instagram. We're Vitality at Vitality Wellness Apothecary. We're located at 129B Company Street in downtown Wetumpka. We're right next to a Dash of Fashion. The next to a dash of fashion that the uh vent um consignment store um, and you can just please come in and see us.
Speaker 2I would love to meet everybody. That's awesome. I have one more question. Okay, if you had a superpower and you had it for 24 hours. You can use it professionally or personally. What would your superpower be? What superpower would you choose? How would you use it? Why would it be your choice?
Speaker 3Great question. If I had a superpower, what would it be? It would be the gift of sight. How I would use it is that I would use it both professionally and personally, but professionally I would use it where I would let you see the beauty inside of you and let you see how magical you are and let you see all of the wonderful things that make you who you are. And why I would do that is because I think that's what we're missing. I so think that's what we're missing. We're so obsessed with all the things that don't fill us and we're all searching and we're all seeking, and the things that don't fill us and we're all searching and we're all seeking. And I would love to have that gift of sight to be able to let people see.
Speaker 2That's great. This has been so wonderful and so insightful, so I just cannot thank you enough, stephanie. Thank you for taking the time and joining me today.
Speaker 3Well, thank you for asking me. I felt very honored. I'm very grateful.
Speaker 2It was good.
Speaker 1You did a good job. I got my pockets full of dreams and they're busting at the seams, going boom, boom, boom To my own song.
Speaker 4Gotta stomp to my own drum. Stomp to my own drum. Stomp to my own song stomp hey.
Speaker 2Ooh, got to stomp to my own drum, stomp to my own song stomp hey ooh, there's a great big world that I want to see, find stacked keys podcast on spotify, soundcloud and itunes or anywhere you get your favorite podcast listen you'll laugh out loud, you'll cry a little, you'll find yourself encouraged. Join us for casual conversation that leads itself, based on where we take it, from family to philosophy, to work, to meal prep, to beautifully surviving life. And hey, if I could ask a big favor of you, go to iTunes and give us a five rating. The more people who rate us, the more we get this podcast out there. Thanks, I appreciate it.
Speaker 4I got a big drum to my own song. Gonna put all my boots and moves song to my own drum song. To my big drum song. To my own drum song. To my big drum song. To my big drum song. To my big drum song. To my big drum song. To my big drum song. To my big drum song. To my big drum song. To my big drum song. To my big drum song. To my big drum song. To my big drum song. To my big drum song to my big drum. Thank you.