Stacked Keys Podcast
The idea to talk to women who are out there living and making a difference is where the Stacked Keys Podcast was born. There are women who make a difference, but never make a wave while paddling through life. Immediately I can think of a dozen or more who impacted me, but I want more. I want to talk to those I don't know and I want to share with an audience that might need the inspiration to find their own beat. This podcast is to feature women who are impressive in the work world-- or in raising a family -- or who have hobbies that can make us all be encouraged. Want to hear what makes these women passionate and get up in the morning or what they wish they had known earlier in life? Grab your keys and STOMP to your own drum.
Stacked Keys Podcast
Epsiode 236 -- Neen James -- The Velvet Bulldozer
What if the secret to exceptional leadership isn't about having all the answers, but about making others feel truly seen and heard? In this vibrant conversation with Neen James, the self-described "velvet bulldozer" shares her remarkable journey from growing up in a caravan in Australia to becoming an internationally sought-after executive coach and speaker.
Standing at just 4'10" and almost always dressed in her signature hot pink, Neen brings extraordinary energy to every room she enters. But her true superpower lies in what she calls "contagious confidence" – walking into any space with the assumption that everyone wants to engage with her. This mindset has propelled her through a successful corporate career and into her current role advising CEOs and leadership teams around the world.
The conversation takes a fascinating turn when Neen challenges our conventional understanding of luxury. Growing up with a single mother who worked multiple jobs, she learned that luxury isn't about expensive possessions but about finding beauty in everyday moments – what she now calls "champagne moments." This philosophy forms the foundation of her new book, "Exceptional Experiences: Five Luxury Levers to Elevate Every Aspect of Your Business," which includes the first-ever research study on luxury as a mindset.
Throughout the episode, Neen shares practical wisdom on building networks from scratch, managing attention rather than time, embracing adventure in daily life, and extending grace to yourself and others. Her insights on how different people make decisions (thinkers, feelers, and knowers) offer a fresh perspective on communication and leadership styles.
Whether you're leading a Fortune 500 company, building your own business, or simply seeking to create more meaningful connections, Neen's message is clear: we all have a responsibility to make the people we encounter feel valued. Take her challenge to find and share your own #ChampagneMoments, and discover how small shifts in attention can transform both your professional success and personal fulfillment.
Music "STOMP" used by permission of artist Donica Knight Holdman and Jim Huff
I'm walking all alone down my yellow brick road and I stomp to the beat of my own drum. I got my pockets full of dreams and they're busting at the seams, going boom, boom boom.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Stacked Keys Podcast. I'm your host, amy Stackhouse. This is a podcast to feature women who are impressive in the work world or in raising a family, or who have hobbies that make us all feel encouraged. Want to hear what makes these women passionate to get up in the morning, or what maybe they wish they'd known a little bit earlier in their lives.
Speaker 1:Grab your keys and stomp to your own drum. Whatever you do, it ain't nothing on me, because I'm doing my thing and I hold the key to all my wants and all my dreams like an old song.
Speaker 2:well, I am super excited today have a guest that I know is going to spark everybody's creativity and desire to go. She is just absolutely gorgeous, is wearing her signature pink, and so I'm sure we'll talk about that. But, neen, james, I am so excited to have you today. Welcome.
Speaker 3:What a privilege, Amy, to serve your listeners today. I cannot believe we're finally doing this after being connected on Instagram for so long.
Speaker 2:That is fabulous, and so, right out of the gate, I want to start out with Neen. How do people know you, both personally and professionally?
Speaker 3:So all the meeting planners that hire me to keynote their events, they all call me the energizer bunny, and while you're listening to this and you can't see, I am four foot ten and a half, which that half makes a big difference, amy. I am frequently almost always in hot pink, which has become part of my signature, which was not deliberate, amy, it's just part of what happened and because I'm paid to bring energy to the audiences that I stand in serve of. So, whether I am the executive coach for a CEO and their team, or whether I am keynoting an event, that energy is definitely what I'm most known for. And so, while I might be little for those of you listening and trying to work out this crazy accent, I hail from Sydney, australia, but I now live in Tampa, florida, and so I am a proud Australian and a proud American citizen as well.
Speaker 2:Well, that's exciting. Well, what brought you to America? Were you a teenager? Were you an adult?
Speaker 3:I know, I sound like I'm five, but we have lived here for over 20 years, amy, and so my husband was offered an opportunity here and we could both work here, and so I closed my company in Australia and I started from scratch, and I knew nobody but my realtor, amy. When we moved, we moved from Sydney City to Doylestown, pennsylvania, and I don't know if any of your listeners know where that even is, but it is halfway between Philly and New York. It is perfect suburbia. There are 2.4 children to every house, there's trucks and minivans on everyone's driveway. People even mowed their lawns a certain way, amy. I'd never seen stripes in a lawn, because I lived in Sydney City in an apartment, so I'd never seen anything like it. We were the only childless, dogless couple in the entire neighborhood, amy.
Speaker 3:But I loved it, and you know, the first thing I did because I knew nobody was I pulled out a suit from my suitcase suit from my suitcase. I tried to like steam it and I googled women's networks plus Doylestown. That was my Google search, right, and there was one in this tiny little place. I got in my car. I arrived hideously early because I had no idea where I was. I had no idea how long things would take. This is before, like gps's were part of our car. So let's all like, cast our minds back, ladies, to like when you had to print out google maps.
Speaker 3:You remember that like right right that was me, and so when I first moved here that's how I created my network.
Speaker 3:Amy was through women, because I've always believed that maybe the woman in front of you can't help you, but she knows 200 amazing women in her network that probably can. And so what I deliberately did was, when I moved here, while I didn't know anyone, I met that group of women first, and then I thought, okay, if this person needs this, I could connect them to this person. Right, and so then as soon as I met someone, I would connect them to someone else. And so I had this belief that if you really want to stand in service of other people, you can grow your network. And that's how I very quickly grew my name and my reputation in the Philadelphia area and that's how I've built my whole business. Amy is through referrals, but I think women want to help other women and that was my experience. It was still my experience, and so you know, some 20 years later I have a business that I love that takes me all over the globe, but it started at that little women's networking group in Doylestown.
Speaker 2:That's fabulous, and you're so proactive, so that, to me, is a character trait, and is it one that you had to develop, or did you have to really push yourself in an uncomfortable way, or is it just a natural for you?
Speaker 3:Most of five kids.
Speaker 3:And I've always been the littlest right. So and I sometimes giggle like you know, underestimate me because that'll be fun for you Like because I'm so little. I think sure people like see the world differently. So while it's not a challenge, I think it's definitely an asset. I have always been the person who volunteered, right. I would volunteer at Sunday school to do the reading. I would volunteer in a team to lead a project, to provide a presentation. I remember when I left school I joined the bank. I was the youngest bank manager they had and like 33,000 employees because I was always putting my hand up.
Speaker 3:So I think proactivity, responsibility, accountability have been key themes in my life and I think for people who are listening, being able to have this courage. I believe in my book Exceptional Experiences I talk about this concept called contagious confidence and I think I've always had this contagious confidence, amy, I walk into every room and I assume everyone wants to play with me. I always have from a kid as well as an adult, so I've never met a boardroom that's intimidated me or a ballroom of thousands of people because I just make this assumption. And so I think that confidence that I have is contagious for others and I think, leaders who are listening to this.
Speaker 3:Whether you're leading in your church, your home, your temple, your community, your boardroom, your energy is contagious your confidence is contagious, and so I've always had that and, as a result, have always found myself in leadership positions yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, it's interesting because also, at the same time, if you're the opposite of that, it's contagious. So you're, you're making this choice to be a connector and a positive and and that can really take you a long way. Now you referenced a book, so jump right, actual Experiences and it's coming out. So you're doing pre-orders at this point. So tell me a little bit about the book. Do you define yourself as an author or is this a new road?
Speaker 3:for you? No, I do not. So I'm so pleased that you asked Exceptional Experiences. The subtitle is five luxury levers to elevate every aspect of your business, and this book is written for people who are looking to drive revenue in their business, whether they are an entrepreneur, whether they are a leader of a team, or for many of the executives that I work with. They might be the chief revenue officer, the chief marketing officer, the chief operating officer, and so this book is the evolution of my body of work.
Speaker 3:I wouldn't call myself an author. Although I've contributed to 10 books, four of them are just ones that I've published, and so I have this career where, when I was in my corporate life, amy, I was always the person who could get things done. I was the person who would lead projects, turn around projects, fix team members who weren't performing. That was very much my reputation in my corporate career, and so what I realized the through line of all that was that I could get things done. It was very productive, and so the early books that I wrote Secrets of Super Productivity, folding Time and Attention Pays. What is very core to all of those is, I realized very young, you can't manage time, but you can manage your attention, and I realized attention management was really key in the early 2000s, and so that's really where my work started is, how can I think about attention management? This is before we were diagnosing an attention deficit society that we have, and this is way before cell phones became very much an extension of our hands. And so when I wrote Attention Pace, for example, amy, what I realized is the world that I was living in people were overwhelmed, overstressed and overtired, and we needed a solution for that. That's why Attention Pace was written.
Speaker 3:But Exceptional Experiences my latest book, which comes out on the 14th of October, so at the time of recording we're in pre-orders right now this book was because I've always believed that attention is about connection, and what I believe is that, with things like what luxury brands are brilliant at and I work in so many luxury brands around the world they're really great at this elevated level of attention. And so I started to study all these brands and thought what could we all learn from all of these luxury brands and what they're doing? I've always thought, amy, luxury is a mindset. I've always believed that, and I think luxury is about experiences, not things.
Speaker 3:We think of luxury as like the expensive car or the handbag, and that's not the case, like I think. It's about the experience you create, and so what I realized was this book is the evolution, because truly luxury is making people foreseen and heard and valued, and this book gives people very specific strategies, from capturing the attention of clients they want to work with all the way through to being able to have those clients become advocates for them, and so we have this five-part framework that you can walk through that allows you to be able to do that, so it'll help you grow your revenue, differentiate yourself and also make sure that people really do feel seen and heard in your life.
Speaker 2:Wow, I can't imagine not wanting to read this book and apply it.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 2:I cannot because you know you reference 2000. Well, you know, here we are, so many years later and those are the same issues. Those are the same issues that are in a boardroom. They're the same issues that a CEO is dealing with trying to find, you know, the work life balance and the all of these attributes, but these come from within. And that luxury, you're right, it's a definition that that might need to be revisited.
Speaker 3:See, I've always assumed luxury is a mindset, amy, because my mom demonstrated this to me. I have very, very humble beginnings. When I was little, we lived in a caravan. In America they call it a trailer park. So I don't come from a wealthy background. My mom was a single mom with two little girls and she would clean houses and she picked fruit and she sold lettuce on the side of the road. Like my mom worked really, really hard.
Speaker 3:What was interesting about my mom and she definitely inspires my work is, at the end of a really busy shift, amy, no matter how tired she was, she would walk through a community garden and she would pick a flower and she would bring it back to our paravan and she would put it in a glass and we called it a vase because we felt fancy. But my mom reminded me that it didn't matter as little girls, that we didn't have things, it was beauty that we could bring into our everyday. So my mom showed me beauty and order and how we all deserved luxury. And so anyone listening to this you deserve luxury, you are worth it. And perhaps your luxury is sipping your coffee out of a beautiful coffee mug, or maybe it's meditating for an extra minute, or maybe it's getting up earlier so that you have a few quiet moments before your house starts to get together, you know? And so what I realized very young is that luxury is a mindset, and so when I was explaining this to some of my corporate clients, I thought there would be research to prove this, amy, because I've always believed this theory luxury is a mindset. Well, wouldn't you know? There's not a single research study on luxury as a mindset. There's plenty of studies on how does luxury make people feel. It's great.
Speaker 3:I wanted to know how do people think about luxury? How does it affect their confidence, professional development? Who influences their decision? How much do they pay on luxury? How long does it take to make a decision about luxury? I wanted to know everything, and because it was in our study, I commissioned my own research study.
Speaker 3:So, amy, we have the only research study of its kind in the world, and we even have a luxury mindset self-assessment that all your listeners can take. So we'll make sure you have the link for that in the show notes, but I'd encourage the listeners. It'll take you less than five minutes to discover your own luxury mindset. But what's really interesting about it, amy, is once we understand our luxury mindset, it's just an extra asset in our leadership toolkit. We can then decide oh, this is how I see the world, and now you know that there's all these other luxury mindsets out there, so we have to also be flexible and adaptable in the way we communicate. So the book has the luxury research study in it. It has the link for the luxury mindset self-assessment people can take, and then it has so many strategies that everyone can apply to elevate their business in a multitude of ways.
Speaker 2:Wow, I love that and I can see it being utilized in so many different facets. I mean it can go from the person who truly is the leader in the boardroom to the person who is never even broaching the boardroom. So it's it kind of go wherever you are and you can apply it in whatever circumstance. So that's fabulous. You know, you probably, in all of your work, have heard the word unfair. Where you're positioned in a certain way, you're getting this treatment, or that's just unfair. What do you think of when you hear the word unfair?
Speaker 3:I think it's a choice. So I opened up by saying I'm 4'10 and a half. I sound like I'm 5. I was often the only chick in a boardroom. I'm often the only chick in first class Like.
Speaker 3:I don't see any of that as unfair. I see these as just unique challenges that I might face right. I don't see it as unfair that my mom was a single mom. I just see that was just. It is what it is. I think things just happen and it's what you make them mean. That really has the impact.
Speaker 3:And so I've chosen to take these things about me that others might perceive to be unfair, and especially as a woman in corporate and having very senior positions. Yeah, I remember so many times people assumed I was the secretary or I was there to take the notes, when actually, in fact, I was the person who was running the meeting or I was the person who was the speaker. So I think one of the things that happens with unfair, or people's perception of unfair, it's how you react to it. So I would love to extend grace to everybody. So, even though I've been mistaken for a completely different role to what I had, I will always extend grace to that person because maybe in their world they don't know differently.
Speaker 3:I think what's amazing about women particularly is they take these perceived unfairness, amy, and they turn them around. Women are resilient, they are tenacious. They are the people who can get things done. I just know that because I'm surrounded by them. My mom was a great example of that. My girlfriends are leaders that I get to coach, so I'm not sure if I fully believe in things being unfair. I believe that people see the world through their lens, and we're living in a very divided world right now, on a global level as well as at a domestic level, and we could all sit around and say things are unfair or we could choose to do something about it. I choose to do something about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, you know you talked about. You made reference to your ladyship toolkit.
Speaker 3:Leadership toolkit yes.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, so leadership. Okay, I didn't catch the accent, it's a silly accent, but leadership works as well.
Speaker 3:I like it both actually. Yes, it's the leadership toolkit.
Speaker 2:That's funny. Okay, well, tell me about that leadership toolkit. I mean, here you are collecting things as you go along to put in this toolkit. So is this a concept that you decided early on when you were working in the corporate world of, hey, I need to have these tools, abilities or views or something in my toolkit. How did you start to think that way?
Speaker 3:Because I was often the only chick. So I was. And look, look at the industries I chose to work in. I was working in retail, banking, telecommunications and the oil industry. So there's a lot of senior chicks in oil, right? So understand that.
Speaker 3:The career choices I made very young, I was very young. The career choices I made very young, I was very young and I was very tenacious. And so what I realized is I would watch what other people did. What I learned very young, very quickly, whether it was Sunday school or whether it was in high school that if you had the courage to stand up and speak, you would be able to help others. You could summarize things.
Speaker 3:Most people don't enjoy any form of public speaking, whereas I've always loved it. And so I realized in my leadership toolkit okay, that's something I need to get better at. So I focused on that. I also watched in my corporate career that the people who could get things done got promoted. So I understood that that equaled productivity. So if I could establish my own set of productivity tools, which I did I would be the person who could get things done that got recognized. So if you think about the combination of productivity and presentation skills and I have a presence about me. Like I said, I walk into every room. I have always assumed people want to play with me, that they want to help me, and that I can always stand in service of whoever I'm talking to. So if you think of that combination of productivity, presentation and presence, these are three things that not only am I known for, but it's also what I coach a lot of senior leaders on as well, and many of the CEOs that I work with, whether they are the Fortune 500 company CEOs or whether they are medium or entrepreneurial businesses.
Speaker 3:Often things fall into those categories, and I also realized that your leadership toolkit must have strong communication skills. That means your written communications, your verbal communications, your physicality is another form of communication, and if you're listening to this and you're like, well, it sounds all good and fine for you. Little Miss Perky, you know extrovert. Some of the best communicators I know are introverts. So I don't want people to think, as they're listening to this, that you have to be the outgoing person, the big personality. You don't have to be the loudest person in the room or the most social person. I believe that if you have a sense of being able to have integrity, to get things done, if you know how to communicate in a way that people will listen and if you think about your own presence. Some of the best people, some of the most successful professional speakers that I've ever met, some of the leaders that I know that are exceptional the introverts. So please don't think this is an extrovert strategy. It's both.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can see that and a lot of times, leaders, you might be in that boardroom with that one who says nothing but when?
Speaker 3:they do people really listen, because they have commanded it in such a way that it's like, okay, shh everybody, because they command that presence right, and so I think one of the things that we need to be more conscious of as leaders and I use the word leader for everyone who's listening to a podcast, because if you are investing in professional development by listening to Amy's podcast, you are a leader. I don't care what's on your business card, I don't care if you have a business card, but the very fact that we all have a presence. But we get to choose how we show up in the world. We get to choose how we extend grace to other people. We get to choose about how we can be more exceptional as leaders in our community, in the people that we serve, and so one of the things I want to challenge people to think about is I have this concept in the book Amy called champagne moments.
Speaker 3:I am known for my love of champagne. There is a muesli on the front cover of the book. For those of you listening, the muesli is just a fancy French word for that wire cage that holds the cork into the bottle right. And so I think one of the things that we could look for is these champagne moments every day, and a champagne moment is something that makes you smile, something that brings you joy. So that is something as leaders, if we see the world through this concept of what's my champagne moment today and can I give someone a champagne moment.
Speaker 3:Sometimes that's just using someone's name when you order your coffee with your barista, or letting someone go ahead of you in traffic or opening the door, or maybe it's some of the things we talked about before, like enjoying your coffee cup or maybe putting sparkling water in a champagne glass so you can feel like you're celebrating. Whatever it looks like. It's about taking those moments each day. As part of the book, I'm encouraging listeners and readers to take a photo of your champagne moment, post it on social media and then tag me, neen James, and then use the hashtag champagne moments, because I think this is a fun way for us to say this is what's really special for me today, and I better bring joy to someone else.
Speaker 2:I love this and it has to set the mindset in a positive way. I mean both looking for those moments and then creating those moments and then sharing those moments. So you're kind of getting a complete assignment.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, and I'll reshare it. If you tag me and I see it, I would love to share it on my social platforms for you. So please hashtag Champagne Moments and make sure you tag me, mean James.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like that. So it seems like everything is just easy for you. That's amazing. So are there boulders that you just keep smashing up against at times and just things that you have to just either go around over or sit and look at?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think everyone does, Amy, but I also think that it is relative. I call those champagne problems right. So I think we all have champagne problems of our own and they are very relative to each person who's listening right. So I think we all have champagne problems of our own and they are very relative to each person who's listening right. I feel very fortunate. I have a wonderful life and career and business, and I'm surrounded by friends and family. I choose to live on the other side of the world from my family. It's just my husband and I here, and so I've had to create family. So family, I think, are the friends that you choose for yourself, which I think is a very popular fridge magnet I've seen somewhere. And so, while I think we all have boulders of our own, it's how we decide to deal with them, it's what we make them mean. That has the impact. For me, boulders are just to be smashed. But I also believe that you can find your way around things.
Speaker 3:When I was in my corporate career, I remember, when I was in the oil industry, my boss Phil. He said everybody here calls you the velvet bulldozer. I didn't know if that was a compliment or an insult. I really didn't. I was like what do you mean? They call me the velvet bulldozer. And he said well, you always get what you want. You will go through things, around things or over things, but you'll always do it with a smile on your face and you'll always leave people feeling great. So I didn't mind the nickname. After that, right, and so I think to your point.
Speaker 3:I think I had something where I'm like I can't possibly fix this, because I always believe there's a solution. My team will tell you it makes them crazy, because when I've decided something, I just need it to happen, like whatever we have to do, because I always think there's someone who can solve it, there's someone I know or someone that they know. And so and that's why I think a lot of the CEOs I work with love putting me in a room for ideation because I can come up with like 50 ideas at moments, because I don't see, like the problem, the champagne problem, I see, okay, there is a solution for this. We just have to get creative and find it. So you know, I think everyone listening to this has their own set of boulders, whatever they are, and in their world they're big boulders, but in comparison to someone else's world, it could be different, and so I think I have been very, very fortunate to have my health to do the things that I love.
Speaker 3:We have a luxury manifesto in my company, and one of our key philosophies is that I get to do what I love with people I love in places I love, and so we know when we're assessing whether I'm going to keynote at a conference or whether I'm going to work one-on-one with a CEO or do a consulting assignment with a luxury brand, we run it through those filters.
Speaker 3:Are they the kind of people I love? Is it going to be in a place I love and am I going to do it the kind of work that I love? And that's a privilege, that's a luxury to be able to do that, and I've worked my butt off I hope I can say that on your podcast. I've worked my butt off to make that happen, and I I like so many people listening to this had to do all the yucky things that we do when we're building our career, and we all have horror stories of our own, especially as women. And to the men who are listening, I appreciate you all being advocates for the women who are around you in your life as well, but we've all had those challenges. I just choose to focus very much on the positive and to extend grace to everyone wherever I can.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and those daily actions become who you really are. I mean, what you do on day in, day out, what you can weed out, what you can accentuate, become who you ultimately are. And it comes back around, I'm sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think there's this perception of being like Pollyanna positive, you know, with my little rosy colored glasses and I'm fine, I will absolutely wear that. But I don't think the world needs to know the ugliness of the craziness or the thoughts or the insanity that we all have. I mean, I think, as women, so many of us second guess ourselves. You know, walking into a room so many women I know I work with like feel like an imposter. All those things are there. I just didn't choose to talk about them publicly. Coaches for everything.
Speaker 3:I have a personal trainer for my fitness. I have a business coach for my business. You know, like I have put in place these people that I can talk to about anything that I'm thinking about. Do I choose to post that on social media? No, People don't need to like see all of that crazy, but my life on social media really is my life. Like it's not a highlight reel, Like that's really my life. If you want to see the craziness of you know my life, watch my Instagram stories because you see everything. It's not filtered right, but I think too many people choose to air all of their grievances on platforms like social media and that's their choice. I just don't know what that does to help the world. I would rather choose platforms to change conversations, to encourage diversity of thought, to help people elevate their thinking, elevate experiences. That's how I choose to use the public platforms that I have, whether it's on the stage, whether it's coaching a CEO or even in authoring a book. It's really about advancing those levels of conversations and embracing diversity of thought.
Speaker 2:I can see that and I can also see that a lot of times you leave the blanks so that someone can kind of insert who they are and what they're experiencing of, insert who they are and what they're experiencing and you don't stomp all over that. That's, that is that's how you're helping people move along. So are you a heart listener, a head listener? And recently I interviewed somebody and she was like well, you realize there's also listening with your gut.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I was just going to say you're missing one.
Speaker 2:And so, what are you?
Speaker 3:People make decisions in three ways they either think with their head, feel with their heart or know with their gut. So you'll think, feel and know right. That's how I see people as far as their decision making right. And you can hear the way people make decisions. They'll say I think this decision-making right. And you can hear the way people make decisions. They'll say I think this. You know, do we have option A, contingency plans B? They rationalize it's great. I married a thinker. Some people are feelers I feel this, I sense this, you know and they are very much around that and so they're going to feel through a decision and think about the impact of other people. Knowers are those people who can't articulate always why they're making the decisions they are. They make the thinkers and feelers crazy because they are very much in their gut, in their knowing. I am a knower, I am absolutely a knower and I married a thinker.
Speaker 3:We were offered an opportunity to move to Hong Kong and both of us were very open to it. We were very excited and we tried my husband's method of should we move to Hong Kong? Pros and cons list weighted the pros and cons, even Steven. So I was like, okay, that doesn't work. So then we tried his thinking way, and so then we had to meet with his boss for dinner. And so we're sitting in a Haagen-Dazs, I remember, in Hong Kong and we us, I remember in Hong Kong, and we're like, let's flip a coin, a coin, okay. Still wasn't happy with the result. Just our life, flip a coin, it's just flip a coin. It was getting that silly. And then my husband said what do you think? And I said I just don't know, it's the right thing. And he was like okay. And so, because we've been married like my entire life, he trusted my knowing. So I am very much a knower.
Speaker 3:I am also a person who assesses very quickly when I meet someone.
Speaker 3:I will see you're really trustworthy or maybe I need to be a little bit more cautious of you. And I think too, because I was the new kid at school all the time, like I was the kid at the front of the class here's the new kid, meet the new kid, right. And I knew that everyone in that room is deciding is she cool? Does she go in the cool kids club? Does she go in the smarty pants club? Does she go in the bully club? Is she a tough kid and so I'm used to people like making that assessment and I think I learned really quickly how to navigate all of that and so I rely on that sense of knowing when I'm working with an executive, when I'm working with a meeting planner. So, yeah, very much. I think my sequencing is I know first, then I feel, then I think. But I'm very, very strategic, so I'm very good at coming up with strategy for others, but I just know and that is very frustrating to people around you if you're a Noah.
Speaker 2:I can imagine. But you seem to take every element in your life, from Noah young days to current days, and use them, use all of those stepping stones that have led you to where you are. Have you had to think about that a lot, or do you just kind of constantly assess, move forward, assess, move forward?
Speaker 3:I've always been curious and I'm sometimes fascinated with how do we teach the world to be more curious, right? And so I would always think, well, what's that about to be more curious? Right? And so I would always think, well, what's that about, how do I solve that, how do I fix that, how do I help that? And so this curiosity that I've had as a kid also serves me very well as an adult For people listening.
Speaker 3:I'm a little old lady, so, like, I'm curious, I am very, very curious, and I think that level of curiosity, amy, just makes us better. I also believe that we have this time on this planet to do as much as we can and make the most of the days we have. When I find myself, like so many of your listeners, mindlessly scrolling on Instagram watching cat videos, sometimes I'm like that's what I want to do. It makes me laugh. I love my cat, his name is Harley. I'm happy, right, because that's what we need, right. But when I find myself doing it because I'm procrastinating on something, the deeper question then is what am I procrastinating? Why am I watching these cat videos which I love, make me laugh when I really need to be writing that client proposal, right, and so I think the sense of curiosity allows me to keep trying to get better at things.
Speaker 3:I also am someone who I feel like we learn these lessons, amy, not always for our own benefit. Sometimes it's because we need to be able to share or teach someone else about it, and so this because I am so strategic I'm always looking at what's the process behind that, and I have what I call in my life systems of elevation, and so I'm always looking how do I systemize that, like what's the system in place? Or trying to understand the system. How did they think that? Why did they do that? Once again, curiosity, and so I think we can.
Speaker 3:All that's accessible to all of us. Curiosity costs us nothing. It does just allow us to take a beat, ask a bigger question, to think about the impact of something, which sometimes I have to like think before I speak. I don't know if anyone else on this, um, listening to this has that, but every small report card I got as a kid, amy always said she is a good student, but she talks too much. My whole life, even my corporate career, right. I remember one of my bosses wrote this comment and they were like Neen does not tolerate fools, like that was written in my like performance review and I was like so what's wrong with that?
Speaker 2:I know I expected that as compliment. I should score high there.
Speaker 3:Right, and so I think you know, think about, like all of these things we've been talking about Contagious confidence, right, energy management, attention management, curiosity they're all part of what we were referring to as, let's call it our ladyship toolkit To the gentleman listening, you can call it leadership toolkit, but these all form part of who you are and how you show up in the world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, well, and you're able to use them and you've had some changes. I mean, a lot of people would say in your corporate world you should be comfortable and that's like you've got this guarantee, you've got bosses that love you, you've got abilities to say your mind, you. You've got that credibility that you've earned. But you went out away from that little safe and I say safe because being an entrepreneur means you're on the other side of the desk and sometimes that's a little more challenging or different challenging. So, while you were making that switch, was it a dream of yours? Was it something that you wished? Did you make a change from wishing and dreaming to making it a reality? What led you to where you are? I?
Speaker 3:think several things, amy, when I look back on my life like we all need to from time to time. We already have established I'm very curious, right, and I always think I can solve everything. We already have established. I'm very curious, right, and I always think I can solve everything. But as a little girl, seeing what my mom would do and work as hard as she did it, drove me to never want to be like that. So I wanted to always be able to afford whatever and to be able to share with whatever we could, because my mom was very generous. She was always sharing, even though we didn't have much right. So that was a key driver for me was I want to be able to do more, see more, be in the world, go and actually see the world. My Auntie Carol is one of my biggest role models and she is this cheekiest laugh. She's really sassy. My mom's sifter and Auntie Carol had this wild sense of adventure. I'm from a tiny town in Australia. Like there was like one traffic light when I was growing up and my Auntie Carol decided in this tiny little town she was going to go to Greece. She was going to go to Greece. Like she learned Greek. This is before the internet people. She decided she was going to plan this trip and off she went. And I think I was so inspired by her wanting to see the world, amy, that that became part of my driver as well.
Speaker 3:Change is something that I crave. Comfort makes me scared. If I'm too comfortable, I freak out a little bit. So when I was in my corporate career, if you track my banking career, where I was nine years and the reason I left is I was too scared to celebrate 10 years so if you track my career, you will see that I moved on average every 10 months. And here's my strategy. I realized very quickly it would take me three months to learn the job, six months to master it. Nine months to find and train my successor so that within 12 months I could move out of that role and into something else. So I was always looking for my next. So, three months to learn it. I would get to know it, I would document it, I'd operationalize it. Six months so I could teach someone else right, so I could master it. Nine months I'd find the person I thought would be my successor or someone I would start to when I went on vacation. I'd encourage them to do my role or whatever. So if you track my career on average I moved every 10 months and so what I've noticed with when I'm coaching my CEOs, I can help them get transformation really quickly if they apply some of the systems. And I've watched as some of them have really had transformations because they've applied some of the thinking, these mindsets that I've brought to it. So I do crave change.
Speaker 3:Comfort concerns me. If I'm like too comfortable, I'm thinking, oh, what am I missing? Who am I not serving? What am I not doing? So my husband will tell you I can't stay still. That's something that people I'm sure have gathered by listening to this. At the speed at which I work, the speed of my speak and that energy I'm so responsible for my energy and I think, as women, we have to think about our own energy management. We gift so much to so many, so often, that we also need to take time to think about what recharges you Like, how do you re-energize? I literally schedule recovery in my calendar and in my day and I think that's a privilege and a luxury. I understand that, but even if, for some of you listening, you could just find those five minutes of recovery just for yourself. I think that's really important for the energy you need to be able to give out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, even sitting in the corporate world, sitting at your desk, sometimes Even more so because you've got old people all the time saying do you have a minute, do you have a second? Do you have? It's never a minute, it's never a minute, it's never a second. People are interrupting you all the time and you go from one meeting to the next. All you hear all day is sorry I'm late, sorry, I'm late, sorry I'm late, because we're in these virtual calls all day and then we're on email all night.
Speaker 2:So I think it's even harder in the corporate world yeah, so have you seen a lot of change in the businesses that you're working with, say, in the last five, six years, with the CEOs and with finding the different motivations within their both boardrooms and just in their corporations?
Speaker 3:When I wrote the book Exceptional Experiences, what I realized is there's two outcomes from the book how do you capture mindshare and how do you capture market share? And every CEO that I work with is reliant on that. They have to think about how do they capture mindshare clients that they want to work with and team members they want to recruit and stay and retain and then how do they drive market share? How do their shareholders stay happy, their boards stay happy, their teams stay happy. So if you think about the lens that I see the world through mindshare and market share so do my CEOs. That hasn't changed. Now what does change for them is the global situations, the economic environment, the political and societal conversations that occur, and so what I've seen my CEOs have to navigate is such insanely, ridiculously challenging changing times.
Speaker 3:Because think about it right now, at the time of recording, we have come out of a global situation where the whole world was on fire, and then AI has become a really big part of our conversation. I am pro-AI, I embrace it, I use Claude, I say Claude is my boyfriend, I talk to him all day. I think it can give us incredible insights, but it will never replace human connection, and I think in our digital AI world, we crave that human touch, that human connection. We crave that human touch, that human connection. And so I think, with my CEOs, they will always have an important role, as long as they understand that everybody at their core wants to be seen and heard, and I think that will never change. But what we sometimes get distracted by is our email, our meetings, our stakeholders, our KPIs, all of these things where everyone's trying to pull in our attention. See, I think, amy, everybody wants our attention. Not everybody deserves our attention. All CEOs have to choose attention management.
Speaker 2:I think that's true. And then I think that we've also had some fears for CEOs of like the more you know, the more you get involved, the more you know you have to watch this and watch that and be sure you don't say this or you make opportunity for that, and so it becomes kind of a little scary playground where they're like no, I'm just going to stay in my office, it's safer here.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but like safe and comfortable that. Like I said, that concerns me, right? So the best CEOs that I know have the courage, the courage to be able to develop the team around them, to be as informed as they can be. The best athletes have coaches, the best CEOs have coaches, and so I know my role as a confidant to CEOs around the world. I know that just sometimes, having someone outside who can be objective, who can provide that sort of sounding board for you, is important. But it doesn't matter whether you're a CEO listening to this or not. You're the CEO of your life, you're the CEO of your house, you're the CEO of the committees you chair, the boards you serve on. So you know you are the chief experience officer of everything that you're doing. So really, everyone listening to this is a CEO.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like the chief experience officer Right. Yeah, so can you tell when you need to have an adventure? I mean all the time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I, amy, ask anyone in my life. I'm always planning my next vacation, and while I'm on vacation, I need to know when my next vacation is. The lifestyle that I've chosen, amy, is I spend my life on planes, in conference rooms, boardrooms, convention centers, and so some people will drive to work, I fly, it's the same. It's just that the conferences that I speak at, the client sites that I'm visiting, they just don't happen to be in my backyard. I'd love to do more local work, but here we are. And so, as I also have this sense of adventure from my Auntie, carol, I'm sure of it, and the vacation could sometimes be a staycation, like I've flown a girlfriend in just to stay in Tampa and we stayed at a beautiful hotel just so that we could have a little adventure together without everyone else around us. So I think adventures to me too, it could be choosing to hike a beautiful trail. That's something that I look forward to, right, I've really got into, like there's a thing in Tampa called puppy yoga, and I'm obsessed, right, oh, my goodness, I know. So you do yoga with puppies? I mean, come on like, and I have a cat, right? So I'm never going to have a puppy. So this is my way of being able to play with puppies.
Speaker 3:I volunteer at the Humane Society. These are adventures to me. So adventure doesn't have to be a paid vacation, although I'm here for all of that. Adventure could be something. It could be a new restaurant you want to try, or taking yourself out for lunch. Like so many people I know don't like dining alone. I mean, that's my reality because I travel, right. But maybe your adventure is having the courage to go to a movie all by yourself or like. Do you know what I mean? Like?
Speaker 2:so I think they have so that campaign moment.
Speaker 3:You got it. Hashtag champagne moment tagging James.
Speaker 2:I love it. So Do you have to forgive yourself sometimes where you're falling short of these fantastic elements that lead you down this great life and path? But do you have to stop and not be hard on yourself sometimes and maybe forget, are we?
Speaker 3:talking daily or hourly. I mean honestly, like I think about this. Right, we say something stupid and it's so easy to ruminate in something. Right, it's easy for us to go oh why did I say that? Or I should have said this. But here's what I realized. Yes, I have to forgive myself all the time, but we can't organize history, so I can't go back and change the conversation. I can't go back and suck those words back into my mouth. Let's just say, if I say something stupid, I speak for a living, so I'm obviously going to say something that I don't.
Speaker 3:I don't script everything. You and I didn't script anything we talked about today, right, and so when we listen to it back, hopefully it's of value to our listeners. But I know we had fun having the chat, so, yeah, but I think forgiveness is a thing that is really easy to do for others. It's much harder to do for ourselves, because I guarantee you would never say to a girlfriend the kind of things you say to yourself. That would never, ever happen.
Speaker 3:And so we beat ourselves up about the food we ate, the scales, the way our clothes fit, the conversations we had, like name it, women are brilliant at this. If there is an award for being able to beat yourself up. Women are great at it, right? So I don't want anyone listening to this thinking that I don't do that. Of course. I stand on the scales and I'll be like, oh, I know why that is right. So it can send me in a spiral or I can say, okay, that's the consequences of way too much champagne this weekend, Like now you need to be an adult and get it together, or whatever. So, yeah, absolutely, I think we all do things, but we are so much more focused on us than people are on us, and so if we can just extend that grace to ourselves like we would to others, I think we show up so much more powerfully as leaders, and that's how you be an exceptional leader.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and you've mentioned grace a couple of times and that I think that if women have a shortfall, it's the amount of grace that they offer. Lack of grace, right, lack of exactly. So we've talked about a lot of things. Is there anything that we haven't touched on that you want to make sure that we do? And if this were your platform and you could yell something really loudly, what would be your message?
Speaker 3:is. We have a responsibility to create significant moments for people, and my responsibility is to make sure every person that I meet feels seen and heard. So if there's one thing I would ask all of our listeners to think about today, as you go through your day, everyone that you meet, if you could give them the gift of your undivided attention, allow them to feel seen and heard. That's the platform. I just want everyone to feel seen, heard and valued, and that that's what luxury is all about.
Speaker 2:I agree wholeheartedly. Now tell us how to look for the book, how do we pre-order, how do we follow you all of those goodies?
Speaker 3:Well, you and I got connected on Instagram, so I play there every day, so you can follow my adventures on Instagram. At Neen James that's the easiest place to find me my website by the same name N-E-E-N-J-A-M-E-Scom you can find the new book Exceptional Experiences all the places you love to buy books. As a little girl, amy, I loved independent bookstores, so I encourage you. If you have one in your local area, you can use bookshoporg to find it and pre-order it. You can obviously get it from all of the places like Amazon, barnes, noble, target, and so what I'd encourage people to do is don't just buy a copy for you, buy a copy for a girlfriend as well, so you can read it together and then you can share the experience with others.
Speaker 2:That is fabulous. I cannot thank you enough. I feel encouraged, inspired and challenged, so thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 3:It's my privilege and thank you for what you're doing in the world. It makes such a big impact, Amy.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you, Thank you Down my yellow brick road and I stomp to the beat of my own drum. I got my pockets full of dreams and they're busting at the seams, going boom, boom, boom To my own song.
Speaker 4:Gotta stomp to my own drum.
Speaker 2:Stomp to my own song. Find Stacked Keys Podcast on Spotify, soundcloud and iTunes or anywhere you get your favorite podcast. Listen You'll laugh out loud, you'll cry a little, you'll find yourself encouraged. Join us for casual conversation that leads itself based on where we take it, from family to philosophy, to work, to meal prep, to beautifully surviving life. And hey, if I could ask a big favor of you, go to iTunes and give us a five rating. The more people who rate us, the more we get this podcast out there. Thanks, I appreciate it. I think we'll be all right.
Speaker 4:When I let myself go with the night. Gotta stomp to my own drum, Stomp to my own song. Stomp hey Gonna put on my boots and move. Gotta stomp to my own drum. Stomp to my own song.
Speaker 1:Stomp. Hey, ooh, ooh, ooh, I got a key to all my Wants and all my dreams, yeah.
Speaker 4:Cause I Stomp to my own drum. Stomp to my own song. Stomp, hey, gonna, put on my boots and Move fast. Stomp to my own drum. Stomp to my Big drum. Stomp to my own drum. Stomp to my big drum. Stomp, hey, stomp, hey, wow, wow, wow.