Episode 243 -- Krystal Casey -- What Does It Take To Trust Yourself Again?

What does it actually look like to rebuild when life burns to the ground? We sit down with Krystal Casey, a widowed mother of five and the founder of Flight of the Phoenix Collective, to trace a hard, honest path from trauma to alignment. Krystal shares the moment everything changed—a disclosure, swift action, and the devastating aftermath—and the single sentence from a nurse that reframed her future: you can’t prevent every wound, but you can model what comes next.

From there, we dig into the practical spine of her work: your nervous system is the operating system of your business. Krystal walks us through what dysregulation really feels like and how to shift it in real time using breath, senses, and presence. She challenges the myth that more lists or more hustle will save us, making a compelling case that internal work—therapy, intuition, and emotional regulation—drives external results. We explore trust after betrayal, the balance of grace and accountability, and why asking for help is a power move, not a weakness.

Krystal also brings a systems-first lens for founders and parents: align heart, head, and gut before acting, centralize your planning, and build processes that automate, delegate, and protect your energy. We talk wants versus needs, big moves made for health, and daily non-negotiables that anchor chaotic seasons. If you’re a mission-led entrepreneur or a parent navigating heavy weather, this conversation blends strategy with soul—and offers a blueprint for building a legacy that lasts.

If this resonates, tap follow, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review. Your voice helps more people find the show and start their own rise.

Music "STOMP" used by permission of artist Donica Knight Holdman and Jim Huff

Transcript

Welcome And Crystal’s Dual Identity

SPEAKER_05 0:23

I'm your host, Amy Stockhouse. This is a podcast to feature women who are impressive in the world, who are raising a family, or who have hobbies that make us awful important. Want to hear what makes these women passionate to get up in the morning, or what maybe they wish they'd done a little bit earlier in their lives. So I welcome Crystal Casey. Glad to have you today, Crystal. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here. Oh, I'm thrilled. Well, right out of the gate, Crystal, let's talk about how people know you. How do they know you professionally and how do they know you personally?

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Yeah, so uh personally, I am known for being a widow with five children at home. And they are my everything and my full-time job. Um, they range in ages from five to 14, and we are learning together how to navigate life after trauma and tragedy completely burns life as you know it to the ground. And we're rising from the ashes, and from that has come my business, and I help empower women personally and professionally to reclaim their voice, regulate their nervous system, and break generational cycles moving forward. I particularly work with female entrepreneurs who are navigating running their own business while also navigating running a home and in themselves. I feel like so many times we neglect our self-care and our self-regulation. But as entrepreneurs, we are the operating system of our businesses. And if we're not regulated and we're not operating from a regulated, grounded, peaceful, happy place, our business is going to reflect that.

The Origin Of Flight Of The Phoenix

SPEAKER_05 3:30

Yeah, wow. Tell me the name of the business Flight of the Phoenix Collective. Okay. Where did you come up with that name? Because I know that's got a story. It does, it does.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

So in 2018, I opened up an aerial yoga studio. And well, I opened up a community, a space for women that was supposed to be a healing, safe space for women to come together and process the crap that they may have gone through growing up that they never processed, but that now shows up when you become a parent, and having a community that you can connect with. And that turned into an aerial yoga and dance fitness studio. And it was amazing, it was a beautiful community. I could go on and on about it. However, in 2020, we had COVID and I was pregnant with my fifth child. We closed the studio for I thought two weeks, maybe two months, stretched into almost a year. And in March of 2021, I was getting ready to go teach a class. And I had sent my oldest two children down to stay with my mom in Florida so she could help virtual school them because it was COVID. And I had two now in virtual school, which we were all navigating. What the heck was that? How fun. I had a yoga studio to reopen, I had a toddler, and I had a newborn. And what I knew I didn't have was help at home. I had a troubled marriage, a struggling marriage. I knew he had issues with alcohol, and that was a big problem in our marriage. And I felt like a solo parent a lot. So I leaned on my mom and I sent my kids down there, and that turns out to be the best decision I think I've ever made in my entire life. First of all, I need somebody who's listening to hear that. Allowing someone to step in and help me, asking for help, receiving help was probably the most powerful move I could have made. Because what happened in that time is that my oldest daughter disclosed to my mom that her father, my husband, had been abusing her.

SPEAKER_05 6:17

Oh no.

Disclosure, Action, And Aftermath

SPEAKER_01 6:18

And had been doing it for years, and I had no idea. And when I received the phone call, I immediately took action because when I was a young girl and I confessed to a female relative that my father had abused me, it was shrugged off. I was pretty much told, you know, that happens, he's still your dad, so on and so forth. And I had set out, I don't know how long ago, to break that cycle, right? Like that was not going to happen to my kids.

SPEAKER_05 7:07

Oh yeah. And it did. And it did. Wow, that could pile some guilt on. And it did.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Oh. And I didn't realize it at the time because the only thing that came into my mind when I found out was to was to take action, was to tell somebody, was to turn him in, was to do something. And I did. And within six weeks of me finding out about the abuse, we went from being married, you know, living in the country, having this beautiful family, running my business, to words don't even describe it. Just complete and utter destruction. And he broke the restraining order I had put in place. He was arrested. He admitted to all seven felony counts against him.

SPEAKER_05 8:17

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

He was bonded out. And then a few days a couple days later, it was very, very fast. Um, I received a phone call that he was found unresponsive. He was in a coma for about 11 or 12 days before he succumbed to the overdose. And the layers of trauma and the layers of betrayal and the layers of guilt were unsurmountable. And I ended up in impatient for 11 days myself because, like I said, I had failed. I had not broken the cycle, and that was my one thing. And here it was like, what am I even doing? The one thing that I was supposed to protect my kid from, and I didn't do it. And so I had I had given up. I had given up. I was there, but I had given up. I was not eating, I was not showering, I was not going to the groups, I was not, I was sleeping. That's all I was doing in the hospital was sleeping. And one day this nurse came in and she was talking to me and say, okay, share with me what happened. And I told her what I just told you. Like I was supposed to break the cycle, I was supposed to stop it. And she said, you know, Chris, the world is gonna hurt the kids, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's gonna happen, and you can't always be there to protect them. But what you can do is to show them what comes next. What you can do is to show them what to do with this pain and how to rise from it. And that was the day that I started taking my medication. I started eating, I started taking showers, I went to group, and every day since then it's been one foot in front of the other. That is my mission now, is to show my children and everybody else what you do after. And what I'm choosing to do after is to speak up and then to encourage other women that their voices matter, that their stories matter, and that reclaiming their voice is that first step to freedom.

SPEAKER_05 10:51

Yeah. Well, what a what a lesson because you had to figure out how to deal with it on your own, and your daughter is having a pathway of rising, and uh that's that's pretty significant, but I like what you say about it being day by day, it's every day, and that right there is it.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

It is proved I have broken the cycle because my child is not afraid to speak up. I bet she's not afraid to talk about it, she does not hold shame over it, she knows it was not her fault. She has her power and owns her power, and it wasn't taken from her, and she's going to continue that legacy, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 11:43

So if I were to ask you what what's the most important thing that's ever happened to you, would that be a part of the story? Yeah. So you have decided that you know you're gonna share this with other other women. Um is there do you ever find sometimes that you want to fix it for them? Or is that a hard, hard no from you because you know that you had to go your own way?

SPEAKER_01 12:25

No, yeah, I still want to fix it. Like, I was just having a talk with one of my daughters therapists, and I was like, I know their trauma, that trauma is in there, and I know it's going to come out in some way, and I wish I could just like squeeze it out of her so she was like nice and fresh and didn't have to deal with it, and you know, but at the same time, I have also come to accept that this is part of the plan, this is part of how we break the cycle because I wasn't speaking up when it happened to me. I wasn't the minute it happened to my child, the mama bear roared. I'm sure it will continue. So, in a way, I feel like it had it had to happen this way.

Nursing A Way Back: The Nurse’s Pivot

SPEAKER_05 13:27

Yeah. Well, it's also interesting, too, that in kind of unfair, maybe in a way, of um he's not here anymore for you to like hash out any of the questions that you have or any of the, and maybe you don't. I don't know. I'm just thinking uh from what I'm oh, there were lots of questions, yeah. And so it's like that. You have to just like you're completely responsible for moving yourself forward. Yes, 100%. Yeah, that would be frustrating. So if I ask you if when you hear the word unfair, what crosses your mind? What do you think of in unfair? I mean, just having kids alone, you probably hear that word a lot.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Yes, and my response to that is that life is not fair. But in the end, we all get what we need.

SPEAKER_05 14:45

Yeah, and if you speak up for yourself and you're giving them that voice, yeah, they can kind of navigate that for themselves too. Yeah. Well, how do you know you can trust someone? I mean, you here you were in a relationship, and now you you've you've got to trust again, you've got to find that. So, how do you know how what makes you know you can trust someone? Do you have a trust meter?

SPEAKER_01 15:14

I wish that would be hard. I wish you did. Um, it starts by learning to trust yourself again, is really what it comes down to. So I'm in therapy, I've had a lot of therapy, and I do a lot of in our work, and that is truthfully for me, the only way I see being able to trust again is being able to process and accept and manage the feelings for what has happened. And for me, the more I trust myself, I trust my intuition. I know I know what I know, and I don't know what I don't know. And as long as I continue to follow that, that's all I can do. I I leave the rest up to faith.

SPEAKER_05 16:16

Yeah. Well, and you mentioned earlier your your mom helping you out there when you knew you needed it and asking for help. You know, a lot of people today talk about, well, you've got to do everything yourself. You've got to be independent. I mean, if you're if your mom's involved and she's helicopter helicoptering mom, or you know, you're dependent on the on parents for this or that, it it gets frowned upon in our society. And and it seems like you're saying, Hey, I knew I needed this.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

So yeah, and she wasn't, I don't have a big tribe. I didn't, you know, like I like I said, I was in Illinois and I sent them down to Florida to be with my mom. Like I had to take what I could take. And I do, I hear this a lot, um, especially uh people like in my generation, where like we're trying to raise children and parent them in a way that perhaps we were not parented, in a way that we did not receive. And a lot of us come from broken families, we have broken ties, there's you know toxicity that we've cut out. And so I hear a lot, yeah, it takes a community, it takes a village, but I don't have one. Well, then it's up to you to build one.

unknown 17:31

Yeah.

Breaking Cycles And Owning Power

SPEAKER_01 17:32

And I I hate to be frank like that, but that's really what it comes down to, because at the end of the day, we're all here alone and we all need community. Nobody is meant to go through life alone. And so if it is online, if it is friends that you meet through your kids at the park or at school, if it is a support group, if it's a therapy, if it's, you know, there are so many different ways to get support and to build a village and to build community. And I think that is such an essential part of just life, let alone healing.

SPEAKER_05 18:15

Yeah. And that's what you do, some in your business to to talk about and to kind of shine a light in those areas.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Yeah. So I wrote a couple of books and I have a blog and I speak on stages and podcasts about this to share my story, to encourage other women to own their voice, to own their power, and then to regulate their nervous systems. Because at the end of the day, all the mind work, all the therapy and medication and exercise, and you know, the stuff's only going to go so far if you're not regulating yourself. And specifically for entrepreneurs, for solopreneurs, mom preneurs, it is important to understand that you are, excuse me, you are the operating system of your business. And so if you're not regulated, if you're not coming from a place of of calm, of grounded, of knowing, that's going to reflect in your business.

SPEAKER_05 19:30

Yeah. So that's so how would I start in regulating? Well, what I if I how would I know I'm not regulated?

SPEAKER_01 19:38

So if you're you're disregulated when you are not feeling your um base state, right? So you're feeling anxiety, you're feeling anxious, you're feeling excuse me, angry, off-pilter, it's hard for you to focus, um, that kind of thing. Noticing it, becoming aware of it, noticing that you're in that state is is the first step. And the faster that you are able to notice it and then shift the energy, the better the outcome is going to be, and the the smoother and like the easier everything's gonna flow, right? So you want to notice what's going on, and then it is physically something is happening in your body. So usually focusing on your breath is a great way to start, incorporating your senses so that you can come out of your head and start to regulate in your body.

SPEAKER_06 20:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 20:50

So what would you consider to be the biggest waste of time when you're talking to somebody and you're you're trying to to kind of either regulate yourself or or help someone? What what's the biggest waste of time? I have something that I want to after you answer, see if it is kind of one of the biggies, but I'm just curious.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

Hmm. That's a good question. Um the biggest waste of time in regards to healing.

SPEAKER_05 21:33

The whole process and in regards to managing yourself, um sometimes we focus on different things like list making or you know, um goal setting or just different things we've had thrown at us across you know the the years. Um what do you does that make sense of where I'm trying to go?

SPEAKER_01 22:03

Um yeah, I think so. I think anything external, truthfully, is a waste of time if you're not doing the work internally.

SPEAKER_06 22:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

If you're not actually doing the work, if you're not actually reflecting and thinking and and and learning and growing and connecting and regulating, then anything you do outside of that, building a business included, is not gonna manifest the way that you want it to.

Trust, Community, And Asking For Help

SPEAKER_05 22:44

Yeah. Well, I I kind of thought too, so often it's trying to manage others, you know, and that that would go right along with what you're saying of being external. I mean, that's an external relationship that has nothing to do. It may result in some feelings that are internal and some deregulation of my whole nervous system, but that becomes something that I have to deal with from within me, not externally. Exactly. So that's interesting. And people, I mean, their opinions, there um, there's so much, I'm sure, in the changes that you that you've made in your life and and in handling your kids um and growing them the way you want to, people have judgments and opinions. And and and opinions that come back to you of like, wait a minute, you've been through this and you missed the cue. You missed the, but uh from what I understand, not all cues are the same.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

No.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

Um abusers are very good at manipulating situations. And when it is an adult with a child, especially one in a position of authority, such as a parent, it is very easy to brainwash a child, and when something is presented to you one way, and you have this image in front of you, and this is what you can see, but something completely half different is happening behind the scenes, and you literally can't see it. How could you know? How could you know? Yeah, uh and that is something I spent a long time beating myself up over, and I had to come to the realization that I did what I could with what I had when I had it. And if I had known earlier, if I had seen something earlier, I would have done something earlier, and I can't let myself feel any type of way over that. This is the internal work, no matter what other people think or say or believe they would have done. I know within myself, I did the best that I could, and I didn't see the signs. And I've talked about this in other interviews and um talks and stuff like that, but you don't know what you don't know, you don't see what you don't see. And looking back, there were times where I was like, oh, that's what my intuition was trying to tell me. Like I knew something was there, but I couldn't exactly put my finger on it. And then when this thing happened, everything else lit up. Hindsight's 2020. And that's what that meant. That's what that meant. That's what that meant.

SPEAKER_05 26:03

Yeah. Wow, you could drive yourself crazy.

SPEAKER_01 26:07

Yes, yes. So that's why I said if it's the internal work, then I had to, I know within myself, I did the best that I could at every point in the stuff of the journey.

SPEAKER_05 26:19

Well, you know, just in in regular day-to-day parenting, I I've often thought, sure do hope that my kids look at me in that way of wow, she did the best she could with what she knew and had and did, you know, and and judge me in that manner because there's so many things I don't know. And we're looking at first grandchild coming and my daughter's asking me different things. A lot of it I don't remember. And and then you're like, well, I mean, I might have done that, but I didn't know any differently. I mean, uh just something as simple as is like a very common medication to bring a fever down. And I mean, yeah, back 35 years ago, yeah, you did that. Would I now? Probably not. But that just that simple evolution of figuring out, hey, there are better ways. Um, you know, that so I hope they had come to me with the grace. And and I guess that's what it is, is it's the grace of, but then that doesn't excuse awful, bad, neglectful behavior. It it cannot, and I think sometimes maybe we cross there and think, wait, that's just a blanket pass, and then it cannot be a blanket pass.

Regulating The Nervous System

SPEAKER_01 27:50

So yeah, accountability is a big thing for us. Um I feel that in a lot of ways, it was my ex's ultimate escaping accountability by leaving the earth. And I wholeheartedly believe that was a choice that he made. And again, I can't control him, I can't control anything on the outside, but what I am doing is trying to model and demonstrate for my children the importance of balancing that that grace and and forgiveness with boundaries. Yeah, it's okay to forgive, it's okay to release and to let go and to move forward while also holding your boundaries in place, saying I will not accept this, I will not do that, I will not X, Y, Z. Yeah, and um I think I'm doing a pretty good job of it. I know already my daughter has said a couple of things about about me speaking up. I think um as much as I wanted to protect them from it, they're starting to see the things that are out there in the world and what other people unfortunately experience and go through and how it's handled versus how their mom handles it.

SPEAKER_05 29:38

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My kids have said to me, wow, we had no idea. Like when they grew up and left home, we had no idea some of these things were happening out there. And it's, you know, I mean, you want to have a protected environment, but at the same time, you want to. to raise wisdom and and being aware. So awareness. That's a that's a tight rope. That's that balance is really kind of hard to not be too trusting, but be trusting. So it's you you kind of have opposites constantly. So so it's open communication, you know, that that you seem to foster. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Yeah that's so big for me is I'm constantly telling my kids just to know that they can come to me with anything and that I want them to be able to come to me with anything. And I might get upset about things and I get upset about things but I will never take it out on them for bringing it to me.

SPEAKER_05 30:48

And I'm really trying to develop that yeah that's kind of hard that's kind of hard and I mean when you when you're talking about you are raising five kids and that raising you you change the word raising at some point in their life but you always have five kids that you will always feel a sense of responsibility for so how do you find balance when you're doing that by yourself and I know we talked a little bit about you know creating your your village and and making sure you've got what you need but how do you how do you make sure that you um that you do take care of yourself in that process it's a priority.

Internal Work Over External Hustle

SPEAKER_01 31:45

It's a priority and that is a big shift because um I don't know if it's just how I grew up or what I was always taught or just what I always felt was it's just like the kids come first. The kids come first the kids come first. Yeah and yes to an extent the kids come first but you can't take care of the kids if you're not taking care of yourself. If you're if I am completely run down and depleted and running on fumes I'm a really crappy mom is the bottom line. And when I'm taking care of myself and I'm making sure I'm getting what I need not necessarily everything I want but what I need I'm a good mom. I'm a much better mom. I'm an enjoyable mom I'm a patient mom. I'm a mom who can actually raise children rather than just direct people in the household I like that raising children versus direct people in the household because that would be easy just to be a traffic cop when you're like this one's coming and going and this one's got to be there this one's got to be here I like that to actually be present and to be connected and to teach the things that you want to and then you get so much more out of motherhood that way too it's it's a gift for sure. Yeah talk to me the about the difference between wants and needs you you said I might have um everything I need maybe not everything I want but the there's there's got to be a difference between wants and needs and I wonder sometimes if we don't think about that enough yeah for sure um like I said we're living in the Midwest okay for example and after my husband died I was like I cannot do this anymore I cannot do the gray I cannot do the snow I cannot do the cold I cannot do the shoveling before getting the kids ready before school before everything like no I need something that is going to help me be a better me right there's like there was just like this heaviness and I knew that I needed warm I needed sun I need a blue sky we moved to San Diego is it what my kids wanted no but it's what I needed yeah now we're gonna fast forward my kids going into high school and I'm checking out different high schools in the area and at this point I'm considering moving back to Illinois because of a school that is there that is really good. And I'm evaluating what he needs over what I want. Now I want to stay here but I'm also in a place to where I'm stronger and I've done a lot of healing and I've done a lot of growth and the idea of going back doesn't send me into a panic. I can actually see it. I could I could see a build out in the vision and okay fine if that's what we need to do then that's what we're gonna do. It turns out we didn't that's a whole nother story but it is definitely and that's how I've explained it to my kids too is that the need is the stuff that you absolutely positively cannot you cannot live without right the wants are the stuff that either we could live without or we're going to work towards achieving one way or another the needs are the things that have to be in place in order for the wants to be achieved.

SPEAKER_05 35:43

Yeah yeah cover those first and then go from there but but I like I mean what you're talking about is because you are a family it's not just your needs that get evaluated and and they may not the children's may not rank at this point but yet at this point they do.

SPEAKER_01 36:05

So there's right and on the slip it's not just their needs that matter either right and that's really important because that's how what I felt it was it was only whatever they need and I would I would minimize myself so much and stepping into that helps me become better for them which ultimately means they're going to become better humans. Right right um so are you a self-talker yeah I would say a little bit yeah are you a nice self-talker depends oh yeah so it can be very easy to go into that negative self-talk a hundred percent it is an intentional shift like I said with the with the being dysregulated it's noticing and the sooner I can notice that I'm having that negative self-thought talk or thought I can turn it around in in a different direction and that is something I have already trained my brain to do.

SPEAKER_05 37:16

So it at this point it's just a matter of of touching it so that I can yeah yeah there is a lot of brain training that you that you seem to do of how a thought comes in and then what you do with it.

SPEAKER_01 37:33

You probably have changed throughout your life of of what this dancer might be to this but what do you fear most now or do you have any fears now I don't know if it's a fear fear maybe you could call it a fear but the worst thing that could ever happen to me would be my kids not wanting to come home when they're grown not wanting to talk to me not wanting to have a connection with me not wanting me to see my grandkids that would be that's my and it's not a fear because I don't fear it happening but that would be the worst thing that could ever happen. Like my that is my number one goal in life is to make sure I raise children who still want that relationship with me.

Grace, Boundaries, And Accountability

SPEAKER_05 38:45

Yeah yeah I'm with you on that I we had a a gathering and my um kid's first babysitter came and she looked at me and she said so I remember you saying that you hoped that and prayed that when your kids were adults they would like you and you would like them and she said I'd say you succeeded and I do feel that way because I cannot imagine my life without the interaction without the you know not the not the hovering but just the care I mean interestingly enough I was headed to North Carolina yesterday and um Becca was headed from our house to head back towards to Georgia and Tori is in um Texas and Isaac is in Cancun and for some reason I looked over and saw the most amazing sunset. And so driving down the road I took a picture driving down the road I sent it and um and uh then Becca sent one and then Tori sends one and then Isaac sends one and we get these guys from all the different places and that brings such joy to my heart because it's here we are experiencing life and saying here feel it with me and uh and so I I'm with you on that if you if it didn't have that that would be I'm not afraid of not having it because we've got it but I can imagine that being that is something I want to value for sure.

SPEAKER_01 40:38

So um so you deal with a lot of emotions you deal with a lot of yours your kids and the people that you interact with and help and and inspire so are you usually listening with your head your heart and I talked to somebody not long ago that says well you know there's another whole system and that's living in with your gut or listening um to your gut so where do you fall in that or are you combination or what all three all three all three yes if it doesn't make sense in any one of those three those three have to be in alignment is what it is because if it's not then it's it it something's up it's not meant to be it's not working something's not right something needs to be adjusted um yeah it's definitely my heart my mind and my gut so do you have to train yourself to listen to one more than the other no because I think they're all equally important like you can't act you know solely on your gut or solely on your heart or even solely on your on your mind.

SPEAKER_05 42:03

It doesn't you know it logically like it doesn't always work that way at least for me I feel like really they all need to fall into into place into alignment like that is my thing that's what I it's I the program that I teach is called the align method my workshop is align and automate like it is this is the core of it is that all three need to align so are you methodical have you always been methodical do you always look at have you always even as a kid looked at things lining up yep always I remember and I thought it was funny because I still have this thing about like planners and calendars and tracking and and all of that stuff and it's been since I've been a kid literally since I've been a kid and also part of it I believe comes from trauma.

SPEAKER_01 42:55

It comes from having to study and learn a system so that I could adapt for safety's sake. And so I've constantly I'm evaluating the environment I'm evaluating a situation I'm evaluating a person and trying to make sense of everything. I watch habits I watch patterns and that all falls you know into place mind gut heart could be that could be exhausting yeah I don't think so you don't think so okay do you have a system in which you do it or is it just natural in a I have lots of systems I'm the systems queen yeah all right so do you have a system you can share or some tool that you kind of operate off of um yeah well I mean even just as far as balancing and managing everything I have a physical like a digital I don't even want to call it a planner but it's kind of like it's like my life maintenance everything right it has my dreams it has my goals it has my routines it has my tasks it has my you know all of my stuff in one place so I can pick it up at any time and be like okay this is like this is where it's at and I do things intentionally mindfully and presently so like I have a million other things on my plate on my agenda for today but right now my heart my head my gut everything is focused on what I'm doing right now I'm pouring into this because this is where I'm and I don't feel that takes actually I feel like it takes less energy than you know trying to manage everything like being everything everywhere like you know no I'm I have everything in one place I know what I need when I need it I'm able to put it down and only pick up what I need in the moment and when I start to get overwhelmed then I recognize that okay I'm carrying too much put everything down step away shake it off readjust shift the energy and come back into it yeah well you know they're saying research wise that multitasking is not what it was cracked up to be for the last 10 years of like you're not giving your best anywhere and um and I think it starts to show up.

SPEAKER_05 45:56

So part of that what I heard you say is you're pretty organized. And so by being able to pick it up in I mean as you said that I'm thinking of all the little pieces of paper that I have things written down on. And I used to think that just having a notebook and writing it down in the notebook well now do you know how many notebooks I have well which notebook was it in I know I know exactly what you're talking about.

Self Care As A Parent-Leader

SPEAKER_01 46:23

So it's not still happens I still have my notebooks right because your brain is like that sometimes like you're sitting down and just but my system is at the beginning of every day I sit down and whatever notebook I was using the day before I take all of that and I transfer it into my system so that I can either handle it, delegate it or set it aside and forget about it until it's time to pick it up and then I just I just keep cycling and I keep doing that you know every day. And then when I have a day that life just hits me and knocks me down and I drop everything or we're just having a lot of fun and so everything over here kind of falls to the playside it's okay. It's okay.

SPEAKER_05 47:04

I'm able to just handle what needs to be handled that day that moment and know that the rest of it is there for me to pick up at any time yeah yeah today Becca had a um a doctor's appointment so she's she's only got like four weeks left in this pregnancy and the doctor told her um and this this doctor is fairly young and has four children and she said I have a three day three item rule there are three things that I want to get done in the day and everything else can just kind of go and those are the things that put her over the edge ditches in the sink was one of them um and and I've forgotten what the other two were but you get the point it's like these are things oh making the beds and and see what's funny is ditches in the sink are important to me but the bed close the door so it's funny it can be different for everybody but if you have these things that make or break your day they're important yeah no they may not be important to somebody else yeah listen to yourself that would be the gut part of you the intuition part of you that knows I like this I don't like this I need this I'll be okay if I don't have this yeah and share that if you have a partner or if you have kids or you know they they learn very quickly what what your needs are and what makes you a better person.

SPEAKER_01 48:39

So describe your perfect day to me my perfect day would really be any day that I get to just experience the world with my family literally doing anything and in the perfect day everybody gets along and there's no fighting and everybody agrees to the same thing and that's the perfect part of it. But um no honestly that's what matters most to me is is the experiences and the time that I get to spend with people and and exploring new places and and seeing new things um yeah I can do that all day long. Can you tell when you need an escape when you need a break an adventure so what's an adventure for Crystal beach days hiking anything in nature we do a lot of park hopping um just go check out you know where's the new park and it could be a park with trees and water or it could be a park with playgrounds and swings you know um and new experiences literally anything that's a new experience it could be a restaurant it could be an activity it could be a place for visiting and just driving through those are we used to actually when the babies were younger um chase the sun was something that we used to do at night. So as part of my routine is I would clean up the house we'd have dinner they do bath and everything and there would be this gap of time between bedtime and the end of dinner. So we would go chase the sun I'd pack everyone in the car we'd get in the car and then each kid got to pick turn right turn left or go straight every time we came to a road and we'd go explore and see where we ended up and find different places and it's still something that they asked to do once in a while hey mom can we go chase the sun oh that's fun so on a random adventure yeah that's building some core memories there too of like this is fun.

SPEAKER_05 51:11

Um that's great I like that so if this were your platform what would you shout the loudest about what would be your absolute passion that you want everybody to hear yeah I I've already said it I'm gonna say it again and I'll never stop saying it your voice matters your voice matters it is important to speak up it is important to own it it's important to listen to your heart your mind your gut your soul and to vocalize it don't be afraid to be hurt yeah I think those are multi-level items and um but yet they all play together and and can make or break your lieutenant is there anything that you want to make sure we talk about um I think we covered everything.

Wants Vs Needs And Big Moves

SPEAKER_01 52:33

Okay tell me how people work with you what if I if I needed some help if I heard something that kind of resonated with me today how do I um what what could I expect in working with you and how do I find you and and what would the process be yeah so you know how a lot of times soul led entrepreneurs start their business but they love what they do they're passionate but eventually running it can leave them feeling drained broke wondering why they started their business in the first place what I do is I come in and I help those businesses those those owners organize operate and optimize their businesses in a way that supports their nervous system so they don't burn out and they can actually build a legacy that lets them focus on their passion their purpose and their people so I do this through uh group coaching one-on-one coaching and I also speak so I I can do workshops I can come in and give presentations and all that kind of stuff and you can find all of that information on my links page which is just crystalcasey.com slash links and I have a free upcoming masterclass that you can join you can connect with me on social or join my um free Facebook community okay and crystal is filled with a K. K, correct K for Crystal C for KC.

SPEAKER_05 54:14

Okay all right well I just think that is so fascinating and it comes from a heart and a place of you wanting systems and needing systems. So a lot of what you're sharing is tried and true coming straight through you.

SPEAKER_01 54:34

Correct correct one of the biggest things with the yoga studio that I realized was I was doing it all and I'm doing it all now. But the issue I had with the studio was that I had no systems in place. I was Edbury's system so when my nervous system shut down when my body shut down so did the business if I had someone who was ready to step in and take it over I wouldn't have had anything to hand over to them. Literally the whole business lived in my heart in my head in me. And so now I see the importance of that and that's what I teach I teach others is to lay it out in a way that you can automate you can delegate you can take yourself out of the center of your business so it can continue to run even when life gets messy or you would just rather be spending your time with your kids.

SPEAKER_05 55:28

Yeah that's great. I don't know that you see a lot of that um and I know the need is tremendous and I think a lot of times people probably get to where they need it but that's where they go I'm just a failure. This this wasn't this didn't work this isn't um and I I you know it's funny because I came from corporate um to start with and you you had people in this department that department you I will never forget the first time I had to have a presentation to have everything collated I didn't know any better that I didn't know there was a machine that did that. And so I'm thinking that my assistant is like doing what I always did lay the 12 pages out lay the 12 pages on top lay the you know and I'm and she walks back in and I'm like oh wow you just did that so quickly and she looked at me like I was crazy. And now I realized she had a system she had a machine and I think that's part of what I'm hearing you say is yeah there are things that you can do that make something that we kind of take for granted much easier to do.

SPEAKER_01 56:46

Yes. Yeah and in the business it's all those manual tasks it's setting up emails it's reminders it's follow-up it's you know manual tasks a lot of which can be automated to free up your time andor set up in a way that it can be delegated to someone else because it's not what you're supposed to be doing. It's not why you're here and you're not a machine you're not a machine you're a human being and I think that is the piece that a lot of times we forget is that all of these businesses are run by humans. Look at the human behind the business and what are they doing? They're probably taking care of themselves if they're successful. I can guarantee you they're regulating things like things they have systems in place.

SPEAKER_05 57:32

They're not doing everything themselves I promise you right so these are the kinds of things that if we put those in place we can have the success but not be constantly exhausted and worn out and drained from okay now do you are you on social media as well yes ma'am I'm on Facebook I'm on Peter and I'm on TikTok and all of that is on my news page okay all right great this has been fantastic I I really have enjoyed it um I have one more question for you if you had a superpower you can use the superpower any way you want to personally or professionally how would you use the superpower and what would it be how would you wait what would your superpower choice be how would you use it and why would you choose it well selfishly I would want to do remember the genie like you just kinda want to blink your eyes and you're where you want to be that's what I would do with my whole family so that we could you know see each other be where we like be together when we need to be and there would never be any issues um but on a bigger scale I would want to do something like to be able to see evilness in people or something like that you could just like draw it out or protect people from that would be cool okay I like it Crystal this has been great and I appreciate your time and you being with us so so much today.

SPEAKER_01 59:44

Thank you thank you so much for having me and for letting me share my story and your space thank you to the bees

SPEAKER_02 1:00:09

To my own song.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:18

Got a Stomp to my own drum. Stomp to my own song. Stomphead.

Heart, Head, And Gut Alignment

SPEAKER_05 1:00:28

Find Stat Keys Podcast on Spotify, SoundCloud, and iTunes, or anywhere you get your favorite podcast, listen. You'll laugh out loud, you'll cry a little, you'll find yourself encouraged. Join us for casual conversation that leads itself based on where we take it, from family to philosophy, to work to meal prep to beautifully surviving life. And hey, if I can ask a big favor of you, go to iTunes and give us a five rating. The more people who rate us, the more we get this podcast out there.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:12

Don't do an older. Don't do an old dog. Don't hurt. Don't do my older. Don't do an older.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:35

Nobody's gonna step on my cloud. Cause I don't stone to the beat of my big drum. I gotta pay you. Whatever you do, it ain't nothing on me. Cause I'm doing my thing, and I got the key to all my wants and all my dreams.