Episode 249 -- Futurist -- How Crystal Washington Builds Courage, Boundaries, And Vision

Start with a hunch, bet on yourself, and learn fast enough to outrun fear. That’s the energy Crystal Washington brings as she walks us through her journey from high-performing corporate marketer to entrepreneur, technologist, and futurist whose client list spans mom-and-pop shops to Microsoft and Google. She doesn’t sell hype; she teaches people how to think clearly about technology, remove jargon walls with humor, and take intentional steps that actually move the needle.

We dig into the difference between being nice and being kind, and why boundaries are essential if you want your work to align with your values. Crystal shares how she says no without guilt, how she protects her mission to be a “good ancestor,” and why arguing is a time sink while thoughtful disagreement unlocks learning. You’ll hear her framework for leadership—care about people, stay curious, then be decisive—and how that triad helps teams navigate uncertainty, adopt new tools, and build trust without getting stuck in endless analysis.

The conversation stretches across history and foresight. Crystal’s deep family research informs her present-tense choices: tell the whole truth, learn from it, and design a future worthy of the next generation. We talk about the pain of trying to help people who resist change, the art of choosing counsel wisely, and the small rituals that keep you grounded on big stages (including why she speaks in sparkly sneakers). If you’re craving practical, human-centered strategies for embracing technology, setting better boundaries, and leading with courage, this is a masterclass in clarity and action.

Listen, subscribe, and share with someone who needs a nudge toward decisive kindness. If this resonated, leave a review and tell us: what intentional action are you taking this week?

Music "STOMP" used by permission of artist Donica Knight Holdman and Jim Huff

Transcript

Meet Crystal Washington

SPEAKER_04 0:02

I am absolutely thrilled to introduce you, the audience, to Crystal Washington. I have met Crystal um from a stage, and she is a powerful speaker, has lots to say, so many nuggets that this podcast I'm sure will be packed with. And I just welcome you, Crystal. Thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Thank you for having me. I'm super honored.

SPEAKER_04 0:26

Well, I'm I'm glad, and I will tell you, starting right out of the gate, I want to introduce the audience to who Crystal is, both personally and professionally. And I know that sometimes those lines cross, but I would love to hear how you could introduce yourself.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

Oh, wow. Um, well, the professional line is that I am a technology strategist and a futurist uh that helps people that really want to learn how to embrace technology and foresight to be more strategic moving forward, right? Um, that's the professional line. Personally, I am someone who's a fixer and I'm kind of a McGiver and I'm a puzzle person. And so I always look around me and see what resources are available and figure out how I can help people solve some of their challenges. And so that's kind of where they intersect. I'm actually very much the same person in my personal life and professional life. It's just the lingo changes to explain what I'm doing.

Demystifying Tech With Humor

SPEAKER_04 1:32

Oh, wow. Well, you hit on a couple of things there that are scary to people. Technology and the future. I mean, those two things people freak sometimes. So, how do you break the ice and make progress with people when you're trying to help them out and maybe they know they have a problem or maybe they don't?

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Well, I I typically don't try to convince people they have a problem. I like to look at myself more as uh, this is an outdated reference, but more of a Sears. You know, when people would go to Sears, they knew they needed a vacuum cleaner. And so it's just a matter of saying, these are the vacuum cleaners to choose from. You know, you need one. I am more of a Sears when it was at its heyday than a Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman, someone who shows up at your door and tries to convince you that you need a vacuum, right? And so when people already recognize there's a problem or a gap, or maybe just feelings like this is not, I'm not adjusting very well. One of the things that I do is I really leverage humor, which you've seen me do. I find that if we can get people to laugh, we're more open. And I'm also a very practical person as I talk about these topics. So I do uh, I think a pretty good job of distilling information so that I'm using plain speak because most of the things that we don't understand have nothing to do with our intelligence. It has to do with the fact that we don't know the jargon of other industries, right? So I'm a pretty intelligent person, but I don't know legal jargon. I don't know CPA jargon. Doesn't mean I'm not intelligent. A lot of people don't understand different aspects of technology jargon. And for the sake of this conversation, when we say technology, we're talking about machine technology. But in reality, fire is technology, wheels are technology. Humans have been using different forms of technology from the very beginning. Uh so humor is probably my biggest piece. And then just speaking to people in plain, simple ways and being pragmatic with what I'm suggesting. I'm not saying, ooh, this is the newest thing, and these are all the features, and here are the buttons and the lights. No one cares. No one wants to know how the sausage is made. They just want to know the sausage is yummy, or in my case, the vegetarian sausage, right? We don't know all the components. Most of us in everyday life don't know everything about how electricity works. Although I suspect you probably have a few more folks than average that listen to you that actually do, right? But we do need to know how to flick a light switch and not to put our tongue in an electric socket, right? So that's kind of the approach that I take. And let me give people the things that they need and not burden them with the extra stuff they don't need. That's just technicalities, anyways. They understand what it is.

SPEAKER_04 4:15

How did you get started in such an entrepreneurial role?

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Ah, I did not start there. So I was the straight A student my whole life. I was a very driven kid that was won all the awards, did all the things. I was an overachie, a classic overachiever. And it was interesting because my parents joke now. They're like, we didn't really have to parent you. You just kind of I would sign my own report cards. They're straight A's anyways. I've like literally, I was very self-directed. I was like, don't, I don't need your help picking out classes. I've got this. And and I did all the right things. And so I ended up getting a scholarship. Uh well, actually, I got multiple scholarships, but one that was a free ride. So I made money through college. But I chose the major that offered to pay for everything, hotel and restaurant management. My emphasis was in sales and marketing because I had seen other people that worked in the industry and other departments. And I realized the work-life balance wasn't good. And I noticed trends in some of their behaviors and downfalls. And I was like, ugh, you know, I don't want to be in operations, I don't want to be here. Not a judgment, observation when I was younger. Just so I knew sales and marketing would work. I graduated, I went right into that. And the entrepreneurship came from the fact that I worked a few years in corporate America, worked my way up, got awards for that too, and you know, broke sales records and then got bored because I'm a millennial and was tired of sales, even though I was like killing it in sales. And my poor baby boomer boss, he was like, What do you mean you're bored? I'm like, I want the revenue manager job. And he's like, No one does that. I'm like, boop. So he put me over there to shut me up. And that's a numbers job mixed with marketing. And the entrepreneurship piece came that I had been in that position for a few years. I actually oversaw a department of people that were old enough to be my parents and grandparents who did not know my real age. I refused to tell them. There's it would have gotten me. Um but there was this little thing called social media that was at its infancy. And Facebook wasn't open to the public yet. It was one of those things that was uh with the colleges still. Twitter was brand new. I mean, brand new. MySpace was still in existence. And I had this epiphany, and I was like, huh, one day companies are gonna get on here. Now, now, Amy, we're like, duh. But at the time it hadn't happened yet. And I said, and I remember calling my boss, and I said, call my boss over. I said, hey, let me let me bring something to your attention. This social media thing, I have a feeling it's gonna be big. I said, because Pepsi one day is gonna get on here and they're gonna have conversations with people who love Pepsi. And the people who love Pepsi are gonna love Pepsi even more. And my boss looked at me, Amy, and he said, Look, kid, you're cute and you make us a bleep load of money. He didn't say bleep, stick to what you know. Because my whole thing was as part of my marketing, I was like, we should explore how. Nope. I wasn't trying to hear it. So I did a very millennial thing. A few months later, I quit my job to start a digital marketing firm because everything in me told me I had to make this move. And everyone who knew me thought I literally needed to be medicated because it was so outside of the responsible me. Yeah. Oh, wow.

unknown 7:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Like my I remember telling my mom I feel this urge, and she's like, Are you sure you know what's sending you that urge to tell you to do this? I think my mom thought I was demon-possessed or something. The only uh really supportive voice I had was my boyfriend at the time. We weren't living together or anything. Uh, but he had just quit his job maybe about six months earlier um to start his own business. And he was like, You can always get another job. If you feel compelled to do this, your record is stellar. You can always get another job. It's okay. So I started my marketing firm and I started with mom and pop businesses. And from there, I actually ended up after about a year or two, got uh British Airways, Microsoft, Google as consulting clients. And the speaking came out of that because all of my clients would say, You do such a great job of explaining the things that you and your team are doing as you're growing our businesses. Can you come speak at this luncheon? And I would, you know, go to their little luncheons as a favor until I started getting so many requests. I was like, I can't keep doing this, it's not billable hours. And so after I made that decision, the first organization to call me after I decided not to do that anymore. I said, I'm so sorry. I'm I'm I'm just I don't have the time. And they said, but we'll pay you. And I said, Oh, you I didn't know that was a thing. And I remember Googling paid speaking, and I was like, Oh, I'm doing the wrong thing. That was kind of the beginning of the entrepreneurship piece for me. It was literally everything in me driving me in this direction. I had no idea how it was going to turn out. And it was so unlike my character, but I was I was possessed. Something was just telling me to make this move. And I was young, I didn't have any children, I didn't have a fallback plan. Both sets of my parents, because both are remarried, uh, were each putting two kids through school at the same time, each set. I lived by myself. So I had no backup and I wasn't a very good saver at the time. Um, but just something just told me you're supposed to do this.

SPEAKER_04 9:23

Wow. So you had to make it work at the same time that you were doing it. But it's funny that you say that because I told you as as we were um getting started that my son came in to a business that I had started that was not in this segment of the social media and the electronics and you know, all of this. And he too was saying, but mom, it is going to happen. It is going to be what people need and do and breathe and stay up all night worried about. So, so you've really had to make some decisions along the line, step out there, but yeah, you're prepared. So being you're prepared with kind of the structure of life.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

I think I have a certain confidence, and and I think people can misunderstand the confidence. The confidence is not in my abilities, the confidence is in my ability to figure it out. So when I quit my job the next day, I remember waking up and saying to myself, Well, now what? What do I do now? And and it was like library, and I just started reading voraciously on anything that could touch on this topic, even though it was still developing. It's not a lot of books on that, but anything that was related, PR, marketing, visual media. I taught myself programming, like all these different things, and then making myself uncomfortable. I remember knocking on literally going through neighborhoods and knocking on business doors saying, Hey, I offer this service. Are you interested? And it's and that's outside of my character. So just I am I have faith in my ability to figure it out and be and be uncomfortable while I'm figuring it out.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

What subject do you least like talking about? That's an interesting question.

Learning, Grit, And Cold Starts

SPEAKER_01 11:21

There's not I don't know if there's anything only because I'm known as someone that's super open. Um, and people say that. Like you can people talk to me about all kinds of things that maybe aren't typically socially acceptable. Um honestly, here's one, here's one, here's one. Um, I think the one that makes me the most uncomfortable is when people have discussions around child rearing when it comes to forms of discipline. Because I do have very strong feelings around that. But I think we also live in a world that's live and let live. It's very hard for me to do that if I everything, all the evidence I've looked at has said that certain things are harmful to children. So that's probably one of the only things that strikes a nerve with me, where sometimes I'm like, I don't even know if I can get to this conversation. But I can talk about a lot of things other people are uncomfortable about. I can talk about religion, racism, sexism, all the isms. We can get there. And I don't mind being uncomfortable and I don't mind not knowing. Um, and I think people aren't afraid of um, I don't think people are afraid of antagonizing me or they're not afraid of offending me because I tend to approach things very open. And as long as we're respectful, we'll be fine. But we also have to lean into facts too. So I'm always open to correction. And then I'm I need you to be open to saying, wait a minute, I didn't know that date. Okay, let me go back to the let me go back and do some research.

SPEAKER_04 12:51

Yeah. So uh I like the fact that you you are research-based. I mean, you're gonna go learn, find out about it. And so, and you've probably always been like that if you were academic as well.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Yeah, and then it used to drive my parents crazy as a child, uh, because I would correct them, but not even rudely. I'd be like, that's not that's not right. I remember my dad saying, you know, no, in my day, you know, if I say that the grass is blue, the grass is blue, and I, you know, I'm like six, and I'm like, but that's inaccurate.

SPEAKER_04 13:20

That's great. But you know, I tell my kids now, I am so glad that they couldn't Google check me when I was something because yeah, I would say it with confidence. And you know, I might not be right, but I heard you say in some something somewhere about making sure you had a place at the table and and making sure that you can speak some things that you've researched or you know is true, or you know, that you you bring up, but having a place at the table allows you to say it.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

Well, yeah, and I and I think, you know, one of the challenges that we're having right now globally, I'm not I'm not including all cultures and countries, but what I'm saying is is that goes outside of the United States. That's what I'm saying globally, yeah. Is that a lot of people feel unheard and they're hurting. And I find that when people feel like they don't have any power, uh, they tend to lash out. And oftentimes they're not even lashing out at the people that are actually doing them harm or the institutions that are doing them harm. And so I think it's important that we find ways to be of influence, we find ways to have networks. And again, we have to be open to correction. Um, I was having a conversation with one of my friends in front of other friends recently, and he's an attorney, and I said something, and he was like, he he brought up a point and explained why what I said was inaccurate. And I said, you know what? You're right. I'm I you are correct. I stand corrected. And he said, I don't, I don't know what to do now. You capitulated too quickly. I said, I said, if you if someone corrects me and they're right and it's evidence-based, why would I argue with you? That thank you. And he was just like, Well, this is unusual.

SPEAKER_04 14:59

Oh, that's funny, but he's right. Oh goodness. Some people will argue to the death of them and be so wrong, and they know it. Why?

SPEAKER_01 15:08

It's such a it's such a waste of energy to do that. Yeah, I think. And and plus it's fun to learn new things and to expand your worldview. And sometimes it's painful, you know. Sometimes it's painful because it requires you to reflect on people you you know, love, and respect slightly differently. You can see some of the problematic traits. Um, but I believe in having a holistic view of things. Um to give you an idea, this might be helpful. Yeah. I I did a family history, um, I did a family history reunion a couple of months ago where I brought together family members. Most of them didn't know each other. So I'm I'm I'm the historian too. So I'm not just a futurist. I go back in time. So I've traced our family, one of my lines to when we first arrived in the early 1700s here. Um, and what's fascinating is I am the result of the people that colonized uh and established what is now New Orleans um in 1718. And then I am the mixture of them, along with the black slaves they brought in or enslaved people they brought in a year later. And many of them, because they weren't Caucasian women in New Orleans in the beginning, they lived with their, they freed the black women, they lived with them as husband and wife, their children inherited Atlanta. It's a very unique setup because my ancestors were free in the early 1700s, owning businesses and traveling around the world. So yeah. But my my family members now that I brought together from these different lines, some that hadn't been together for over a hundred years, they look like me and anyone who's not looking. I am a um kind of lightish brown black person. Some of them are very dark, some of them have blonde hair and blue eyes, but we all come from these same mixed black people. And I opened, and I think the way I opened our family reunion when I had all these different people together, and we're all blood related, but we look very different. As I opened with this, and I think it's kind of explains my philosophy to a lot of things. I said, as we get started, I want to ground ourselves in the fact that our ancestors are white people who owned black people, white people who loved and married black people, black people who owned black people, and black people who enslaved who were enslaved. I said, we're just here to tell the truth. We're not here to demonize them, we're not here to lionize them. We're here to tell the truth and learn from their lives. And that's kind of how I look at things. Like, let's look at the whole truth, no matter how uncomfortable it is, and let's figure out what we learn from this.

SPEAKER_04 17:25

Oh, I like that. What an approach to life. That is that, but that can open your heart to a lot. So are you a heart thinker, head thinker, gut thinker? Where do you fall in line with that? All of the above.

Facts, Openness, And hard Topics

SPEAKER_01 17:44

Now, when it comes to my decisions, I have an internal compass. Again, much to the chagrin of my parents when I was younger, and sometimes much to the uh bewilderment of my extremely supportive husband. So my internal compass, I follow because it's always right. It's not a knowledge, so it's not an arrogance. It's just literally, it's telling me to go here, I go here. I don't understand it. Hope I don't die, but I'm going this way. When it comes to other people, I'm I'm a cross between heart and head because I think it's dangerous to just be heart-based. I've seen people that do that. There's no justice, I think, in just being heart-based. If you want a just society, you have to be logistic, you have to have some type of logic at the same time. I also think that being cold and logical is not always helpful because you have to have a certain degree of empathy for people to be able to understand their perspective and the why behind what they do. Even if you don't agree with what they do, even if you think they're dangerous for what they do. Understanding it's it's kind of like when you when they talk about like the origin story of villains, you kind of need to know that story to know how to deal with the villain, right? Right. That's where their little powers come from.

SPEAKER_04 18:56

Yeah, you have to understand that. Oh wow. So life itself just we come from all different aspects, and you've met so many people across your travels. And rich can mean so many different things, and and to different people, completely different ways. In what way do you perhaps feel rich in your life today?

SPEAKER_01 19:23

I think probably there's a lot of ways. I I don't say this out loud very often because I think it can be misinterpreted, but I am the most blessed person I know. Um, I and that doesn't mean my life has always been easy. I had a very difficult childhood, but it's almost like all the worst stuff happened early on. And then after a certain point, it was like, wee! And I'm like, this is pretty amazing. Um, but I think for me, one of the biggest, richest, rich pieces of my life is the fact that I am very aware of my mission. I'm super aware of my mission. I'm aware of my ancestors. And their stories. I know it's my job to continue on their work so that I can be a good ancestor or bridge to the next generation, even though I'm not having my own children through my nieces and nephews. Very clear. So everything I do is done through that lens. That means that sometimes I say no to certain pieces of business because that organization represents something that I think would make me partnering with them, it would make me a bad ancestor. And it just influences how I look at everything in life. I mean, I again, I'm it's me and my husband in a five-bedroom house. Two people don't need these many rooms. But my nieces and nephews always have a place to stay. When they're going through challenges, they know there's always an extra home for them. And just that security, I think, is important. And our parents know we bought a this house has an extra bedroom on the first floor. So it's easy access for someone who's older or disabled, right? Yeah. So yeah. So I I feel I feel very rich because a lot of people search for meaning and I know the mission. I don't know everything. There's a lot of things I don't know, but I know my specific mission is to bridge and to help other people bridge too. That's why I have such a preoccupation with foresight and helping people with the future. And sometimes I slip in like little calls for them to look into their own history too in the midst of it.

SPEAKER_04 21:14

I love that. I love that you do that. That is so often in society today, we're losing the history of who we are and and the lineage. Um, so if if you're looking at that, you probably look at what your legacy is and what you want to have. Do you look at that in your business as well?

SPEAKER_01 21:38

In a way, in a way. It's not very like me centered. Right. So, like for instance, with my team members, I always tell them the goal is, and they know when this business is shutting down, they know the date. Okay, like we we I'm a planner, so they know, you know, whether you stay on this long or not, this is when crystal's hanging this piece up. This is the year. Um, the goal is that everybody who works with me, when we're done, they feel like this interaction made my life better. I'm happier for having had this. I feel blessed for having had this space and being a part of this. It's very important to me that my team members feel proud and feel like this was a good move in their life, right? Like, and I don't mean strategic move, I mean like this is a good place to be. And when I'm gone, I don't, you know, monuments, I don't even want to grave. I actually feel like I've done this a few times before. I'm tired. I tell people that every time when I was a little girl, I remember being five years old, being like, I feel like I've done this a lot. I'm tired. So it's not about anyone remembering me, but I do set things up, thinking about my will is set up in a way, right? For the nieces and nephews and some of the financial decisions we've made are set up in a way. And the way I even do family history research and dispense it out to all these different members of the family so that they have this information if I get hit by a bus. So I don't think about my legacy in terms of how people remember me. I think of it in terms of what am I leaving behind that made this world or the people I interact with maybe a little bit better.

SPEAKER_04 23:11

Yeah. Wow, I love that. Where do you go to solve a problem? I mean, it it just seems like you might be the one people are looking to so often. Where does Crystal look?

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Well, um, I have a whole library in my house that's dedicated to my ancestors. So I go up there sometimes and I'm like, help. I'm just gonna sit here and meditate to somebody give me something, help. Um, and then other than that, I do have wise people around me. So I'm really good at seeking counsel when I need help with something, but I'm also very strategic. Um, the person who might be knowledgeable about A is not the person you should probably go to advice to about B. So I'm very, very specific with who I go to for different things. And I just happen to be married to a super wise man. And so I can just bounce things off. I'll come to him and I'll be like, okay, precious, this is what I'm dealing with. And he just he looks at the world differently than I do. And so he kind of helps shift things. And sometimes he just has these very simple sayings. Um, I had a whole identity crisis behind something a few years ago, um, like a luxury item I was looking at. Had a whole meltdown. And my husband, in his Yoda-like way, he said, baby, I said, Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

He said, Either you get it or you don't. You don't have to get it or you don't.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

And as simple as that was, I was like, You're right.

SPEAKER_04 24:42

That's funny. Yeah. What would you say is the biggest waste of time? I mean, time, you are going constantly. And I know that you pull back some, but time is something that you have to really manage. Yeah. So what would you say is a big time waster?

SPEAKER_01 25:02

Arguing. To me, arguing is a big waste of time. Discussions, I'm all for those, and and discussions where we're we're very much disagreeing. So before I got off Facebook about a year ago, one of the things I was known for on that network is we could talk about the most contentious topics, but I had created or cultivated this environment. And I mean, I have people on there when I talk about far ends of the spectrum, okay? There's even a couple of people I think might have been aliens. I'm not even kidding. They were different. And we could just talk about all these different things. But my whole thing was we're gonna do it respectfully. And respectfully is kind, not nice. They're not the same thing. So you don't have to hug your abuser. If someone's being abusive, first off, I'm probably gonna step in and block them. But why are we having this conversation? Is it just to scream? If so, we don't need to have this conversation. But if you have something you want us to consider that maybe we don't know based on your perspective or life experience, huh?

unknown 25:58

All right.

Ancestors, History, And Truth

SPEAKER_01 25:59

And it's not even always agreeing. Sometimes it's saying, you know what, I actually appreciate you saying that. I never thought of it about that from that perspective. I'm gonna let that marinade for a little bit. And I can also have conversations with people who start off very contentious. I was known for this in uh podcasts and even news interviews where you know how they try to get you to say something ugly. And I'm like, yeah, no, that's that's actually how I feel. I I can actually see both sides of this one because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And sometimes the hosts will be frustrated. And then some of them afterwards want to hug me. They're like, that was amazing. And it's not about peacekeeping and it's not being a moderate or being in the middle because I'm actually really in the middle of a thing. It's just understanding different perspectives and the why behind people feel certain. And you just people can only come from their own perspective unless you're trained otherwise.

SPEAKER_04 26:49

Well, and some of that, I guess, is part of your training. I mean, you as a futurist, you know, you're looking at a lot of data, I would think.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

Lots of data.

SPEAKER_04 26:58

And then, you know, just different kinds of processes and systems and people groups. And so, I mean, you're you probably are slow to speak.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Yeah, or if I do speak, I usually ask a lot of questions too. Like, why do you feel that way? Do you think like they're I had one person on Facebook that every time they came on there, everything was like a war. Like I felt this warring energy. And I said, Can I ask you a question? And being people know I'm not being, they know me enough to know I'm not being funny. I said, when you leave out of the door every day, do you feel like there's a good chance you'll be attacked in some way? And they were like, absolutely, because you so then I start to understand their perspective. You I'm not gonna change that. I can't, right? That's that's not my wheelhouse, but it informs how you speak to people and the examples you use and understanding if you want to communicate with them, you're gonna have to do it in battle lingo. And you have to be, you know, so so I think that helps the training, but also I think again, I think it's the fact that I've done puzzles since I was literally a baby. Like I've and I think when you do a lot of puzzles, it it makes you look at things from different angles to see how they fit together. So I think my parents unintentionally um influenced how my brain works by having me do these things at a very, very small child.

SPEAKER_04 28:22

Yeah. Wow. So there's there's a process to the whole system that you kind of have the groundwork for early on. Um we know in working with with the people that you do, are there some groups that you just would love to get in and maybe struggle to or or haven't had the the opportunity? Is there's is there a dream out there?

SPEAKER_01 28:50

Um no. Okay, let me put it this way. From an industry standpoint, I've done just about everything, um, which is cool because you get to see, I mean, I've been in the room with like small family-owned farms, which is very different than the farming industry, uh, which is very technological. So I'm in there with a bunch of older Caucasian men, and this is not a stereotype. Most of them are wearing plaid, most of them have on, you know, the core, the, you know, the jumper. And I'm the only little brown thing in there, the only woman up there speaking. And by the time we're done, they're hugging. I'm this is Chris, this is my friend. You know, so I'm I'm to being in the room where everyone is the um the director of marketing for or the CMO for Fortune 100 companies, right? And it's me and a round table of these people. So, not from an industry standpoint, I've seen a little bit of everything, but I think I would like to do a little bit more international. I do international, but I always find it fascinating because I get to understand their cultural references a little bit more. Oh, yeah. That would be different. Yeah, like I've spoken like Brazil versus Ghana versus Italy. It's very versus um, I was surprised when I spoke to a group from the Middle East where it was like five of the more liberal Middle East countries, right? And I'm I'm not putting a judgment on liberal, I'm just saying that's how they describe themselves. And it was fascinating because when they, when I had the initial call with a client, such a learning experience, they said, Hey, Crystal, uh, we're looking at your website. This is the last itineration. And they said, and we noticed, you know, you always wear like pants and long sleeves. I was like, Yep. And they're like, You can wear short sleeves or a skirt. Um, and we notice you don't usually wear a lot of color. If you want to wear some color, and you wrap your hair. And by the way, I'm not actually Muslim, but people tend to think I am because I wrap my hair a lot. Like you can have your hair out. And and it it hit me. I said, Are they telling me I'm too conservative for them? Like it was so refreshing. I was like, huh. So you you just find out things that you wouldn't until you're in the midst of being with people and prepping with them, you're like, I would not have seen that one coming. Okay, let me uh I'll do what I can. Y'all still aren't seeing my legs, but okay, we'll see what we can do.

SPEAKER_04 31:08

That's funny. But you you interject your personality into the persona that you have speaking on stage, and you command a stage. I mean, that there is no doubt that when you get up there to speak, you've got an intention to make a connection. And so that uh that comes across. And was it you that you wear shoes that are yeah?

SPEAKER_01 31:37

So I and this is not people started doing this since COVID, but I've been doing this since the beginning. I wear sneakers and I wear sparkle sneakers. So I have a lot of different bedazzled, I have crystal sneakers, all kinds of sneakers. But I do it uh for two reasons. Uh, one, I want to have comfortable feet so that my attention is on the folks I'm supposed to serve and not hurting. And then two, and this is the foresight professional, case of emergency, I need to run. So even um, even for my friends laugh about this. They're like, this is incredible. I have beautiful gowns with matching sneakers. I have cocktail dresses with matching sneakers. And so, and it's not that I don't own heels, I actually have a heel collection, but I only wear them a couple times a year to go someplace where I'm sitting down the whole time. But for emergency purposes and comfort purposes, yeah, I just I love it. I love it.

SPEAKER_04 32:30

So what do you think you'll always need help with? I mean, I know you're independent, but what do you think you'll need help with?

Mission, Boundaries, And Being A Bridge

SPEAKER_01 32:39

I think one of the biggest things, because I actually have people that do this now, and occasionally when people ask me what I need, I'll I'll tell certain people. I don't, you can't invite everyone in your circle. Is I need people to say, uh, Crystal, you're doing too much. I need people to say, you're giving too much away. Stop. Take a break. So right now, my husband is excellent at it. And it's not like a demand, it's an observation. You know, babe, um, I don't know if you should do this, this, and this. And my business manager, Regina, is really good at it. She's like, Yeah, I really don't think you should do this. And I don't think I'm gonna schedule you for that. And it's like, fair. And then a couple other people who have asked over the years where something told me to tell them that. So I have a couple people that will text me and saying, When was the last time you rested? Or when was the last time you did this? Or do you need to say no to something? And I'm like, thank you. So I will always need help with that because I'm a fixer. And so I maximize time. And it doesn't mean I don't know how to rest. I do. I take the whole month of December off from working. It's not always a working, but it is a serving. So if I'm not working and I take off from work, like for instance, this last month I kind of did, I spent back to back taking my nephew on a trip. I got back with him uh the next day, I took him to get his braces, dropped him back at home, swapped him for his sister, took her to Puerto Rico, was home for two days, flew to Atlanta to serve an aunt who had just had a mild stroke and be there, her and her daughter's personal assistant for a week. So I'm running around I so it's that. I will pack my time with serving people I love, right? Um, if I'm not working. So it's not, you see what I'm saying? I still need someone who says that's nice, but yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:24

So it's real important of who's in your circle. Um we've been looking at a study lately, Becca and I have been doing, and it's um choose your people. And and it is looking at those inner circles. And so have you kind of defined that of who gets in that inner, who's in the next, who's in the next layer in the next layer? Are you pretty good at knowing where to put people?

SPEAKER_01 34:49

Oh, yeah. I'm I'm also known for having super tight boundaries. So I have no problem telling people no. I have no problem with pushing people back, and it's not mean, it's just I I only literally sometimes tell people, I really appreciate you. I don't feel called to do that. So it's not maybe later, it's not I'm busy. I don't want you to even come back with it. I'm not gonna do it, but I'm not rude and I'm not ugly, and I'm not, it's just my I don't feel called to do that.

SPEAKER_04 35:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:14

Wow. I'm I'm really good. I have my inner circle is very tight. None of them care about what I do. They care in the sense they're supportive and they're happy. Does that make sense? But no one's impressed by me because they're all impressive too. So we're impressed by each other, but it's not a it's kind of like when Oprah said uh to Gail, you can't have friends that are jealous of you on an interview. She's like, because it's always so I have a very tight inner circle and we travel the world together and do things. And then I have circles after that. I have business circles of wonderful people. And then there's a lot of people that want to call me a friend, but they're more associates. There's nothing wrong with them. I just don't feel called to pull them in, right? So I'm cordial, I'm helpful because I like to be helpful to anybody, but you're not, you're never gonna make it in my house for for Sunday dinner. And that's just the reality. And it's not ugly, it's not mean, it's not anything. It's just not what I feel called to do.

SPEAKER_04 36:06

How would you tell a very busy woman to implement some of that?

SPEAKER_01 36:14

Get comfortable saying no. But you know, the bigger piece to that is if you have a problem with that, typically it's because um not understanding the difference between nice and kind is what gets women to a lot of trouble. And I think there's also some racial components to that because some of us and cultural, some of us are socialized to be nicer than others. Nice is performative. It is not nice to tell someone that their fly is unzipped, but it is kind. It's kind to tell people the truth. It's not nice to tell people the truth. And so I think when you start to understand that difference, it is not kind to be fake with people. If you don't feel comfortable around them and you're trying to make it work, but something in you say, ah, that's not kindness. That's a lie, but it's nice. So I think when you give up the need to be seen as nice and you're willing for people to say you're not nice, maybe there's people who think I'm not nice, and I'm I don't think I'm a nice person, but I'm really kind and I'm thoughtful, and I try to deliver everything with kindness. So even if it's a no, you're a person. And there's a reason you asked me for this thing. And I'm gonna see you as a person as I tell you no, but I'm not going to disrespect you.

SPEAKER_04 37:28

I think that is fabulous advice, and I think it is a struggle that many, me, many people have with, and they go to bed at night wishing that they had made another choice and then having to fulfill whatever they were nice about.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

And again, I'm good at nose. I'm super good at nose, and I don't commit to a as much as I talk about how I do things for these different groups, usually I commit at the last minute. I'm like, hey, I'm gonna come in next week and I'm gonna help you with this, or hey, I'm gonna take your daughter here in three days. You know, does that work? So I do that so that because once I give my word, I have to do it. I'm one of those people. Um I'm I'm traumatized as a child by parents that were lovely people, but didn't always follow through. And as a result, people, I've literally had so many people tell me over the years, man, if you say you're gonna do something, you're gonna do it. So then for me to be that person, I have to say no to way more than I say yes to. And sometimes it's a maybe, but I don't give a maybe if I really want to say no. I give a no if I really want to say no.

SPEAKER_04 38:31

Yeah, I I think that is such a beautiful quality. Um, for somebody to say, hey, if you say you're going to do it, you will. That's that's like we have two mantras in our family, and it's that a follow-through, and then it is um truth. Never ever ever. Even a lie through omission or a non-truth through omission is just not acceptable. And I think if you know some of those principles that you incorporate, then you can incorporate them personally, professionally, friend groups, people that you meet on the street. Um, kind of everybody. And and as you've gone out and you've done a lot of talking, you've met different people and people treat you differently. Um, maybe once they know who you are versus when they don't know who you are. Can you talk a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_01 39:26

I've had some funny ones. Now, it's I will say it's not, it's rare that this happens because I think I carry myself in a way. I don't see it, but other people like there's something about the way you move that people just kind of give you respect. I don't, I'm just me to me. I'm a teeny weeny five foot one woman, but I get that. But no, sometimes it happens. I had an incident uh this summer. I'm with my little 14 year old nephew. I say little, we're the same size. He interns with me, and we're going in for an audio visual check. So this is when you check the sound system and everything prior to speaking. And then in this case, it was a few hours before. So we're going in this room, so we're entering. This room, this gentleman who's an attendee of the conference, I can tell by his lanyard, uh, walks behind us, older Caucasian gentleman, and I'm only saying that because it's relative to what's about to happen, says, Yeah, you go in there and you clean that room good. And I turn around and I'm in a suit. And my nephew, um, you know, he's in his his logoed shirt and everything for my brand. And I turn around, I look at him, kind of confused. I said, Why would I clean the room if I'm your keynote speaker? And he turns bright red and he says, Oh, oh, I'm just, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I said, I'm sure you were. Have a good day. So he walked in. Later on, I had a conversation with my nephew. From time to time, that happens. I had a woman do that to me once. And when I told her, she was like, Oh, can you bring in some more chairs? Well, I said, I don't mind helping. I can find somebody to help. I said, But I'm setting up because I'm your speaker. She literally ran away. It was the weirdest thing. Like she literally went and ran. I'd never seen that before. For me, the interesting thing about that is first off, I don't have a problem. That the challenge is not someone mistaking me for someone who's cleaning or setting up because that's honorable work. And I just come from a family that believes white collar, blue collar, as long as you're contributing, respect. The challenge is seeing how people talk to those people, therefore, the way that they try to talk to me. And I'm like, I would never go to anyone doing any of their jobs, but you go do that. What? It's weird. Um, so it doesn't happen a lot. I don't, I don't want to make it sound like this happens a lot. It actually happens so rarely that when it does happen, you're like, what in the world? Maybe every three years I get an incident like that. Um, but I I don't really deal with it other than the fact that there's other speakers that just kind of internalize it. Me, I always ask them questions like, why would you think that? Or I'm your speaker. So and I I I basically the trash they tried to throw at me, I throw it back. Yeah, you hand it right back. And then what? Yeah, I'm and I'm not carrying it. I'm like, that's that's on you. That's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you. Keep it moving.

Time, Arguments, And Perspective

SPEAKER_04 41:58

Yeah, I think that's part of what I hear from you is like you're real secure in who you are and what you're doing, you're making differences, you know. Talking about women um who are out there in different parts of their worlds doing things, and you're not in a safe little closed-in environment, you're at those tables with people who are decision makers, not necessarily like you or think like you, but you get a chance to really talk and present. Um, so you've come across people that would be considered good leaders. What description might you have of a good leader?

SPEAKER_02 42:48

When I think about some of the best leaders I've seen, they care about people and they're curious.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

But then lastly, they're decisive. So the best leaders I've ever known, when I really think about it, if they're not people that go and just make all the decisions, right? They consider their people, whoever their people are, maybe internal and external. But when they're curious, a lot of times they ask questions and they get information so that when they do make a decision, it's thoughtful. But I have seen people with the first two qualities where you know they they care about people and they're curious, but they're not good leaders because they're not decisive. They don't actually, we've seen people that are just like stuck in limit. That doesn't work either. So I think those three qualities together tend to make for good leadership. Even if you don't know what you're doing, if you know how to ask the right questions, you can figure out a good solution without being a master at any particular topic.

SPEAKER_04 43:53

Yeah. But I like that. And it's funny because um I live with a leader and uh he's he listens, he assesses, and then he's all right, now what are you gonna do? And there are times I have to go, okay, I I I don't work for you. And I I need to not have a plan. I just need to sit in it. So um, but yeah, I mean, you you get the chance. Have you come across somebody that you go, wow, I really like that trait in you? I think I'm going to apply that to me. Have you can can you remember coming across somebody that really influenced you like that?

SPEAKER_01 44:35

All I all the time, I'm constantly borrowing from people. I'm again because I'm always observing, I'm learning, I'm like, ooh, that is, but I'm also maybe where I'm a little different. I think we live in a time right now where people are preaching constant improvement and it sounds positive, but it's not, in my opinion. It's kind of like when people start tweaking their physical appearance and people get a chance to do that, but there's a point where I think we can go off the deep end and we we start to damage ourselves, right? And so with the whole self-improvement hack, you can't be all things to all people. And so I find traits I like in other people. And if it is congruent with my gifts, I can integrate it. If not, I can't. Like, give an example. When it comes to friendship, I am not the friend you call to discuss your problems multiple times. I'm not that listener friend. There's nothing wrong. People need those people. Like I know people that are those people, and man, we need them. That's not my skill set. And I don't think it should be my skill set because what my skill set is, is I'm the friend that no matter what is blown up in your life, you call me, I'm showing up, we're gonna fix it now. So it might involve moving you out, it might involve authorities, it might involve paperwork, it might involve doing something slightly strange to make things happen, whatever, signing you up for college, whatever it looks like, taking your kids for a week so that you can go do this. I am the friend that gets things done for you. Now, I think I'd be shortchanging myself if I tried to make myself into the listener friend. So I say all that to say when we talk about self-improvement, you you I think you can collect things that make you better within who you are. But I think it's dangerous to try to be all things to all people or to make yourself what they call well-rounded to the sense that there's just certain things you're not suited for. I'm 5'1. I shouldn't play basketball. Now, I could try to get better basketball skills. I'm still gonna be 5'1. That's insane. Why don't I work on gymnastics?

SPEAKER_04 46:40

That's great. That is such a visual analogy. Um, so as you've gone through all of your life experiences, it can sound like, well, Crystal, you've just got it made. You don't come across any boulders. There's nothing in your pathway, you don't hit constantly. Is there, is there something that you have to just constantly go around?

SPEAKER_01 47:04

I think one of the most painful things for me, just being really transparent, is no one prepares you for the fact. Like let's say that you didn't come from a great deal of privilege, or let's say you didn't come from entrepreneurship or whatever it is that you're the goal you've accomplished, right? No one prepares you for the fact that when you get to the point where you've made it or whatever, and you're supposed to be pulling people up with you. I was never prepared for the fact that there are people that you care about that you want to help. And it could be uh family, friends, or even strangers on the street that you really want to help, that they say they want help, but they will fight you the whole way and bite you as you're pulling them up. So that that's been a hard one. And it and it stays hard because it's hard to watch people choose to suffer. Yeah, right. And that will pull you into their suffering rather than you allowing you to actually help them if there's something you can do. And I don't mean this in an arrogant way, like I am here too, but literally sometimes you have resources, connections, or whatever, and you're like, this could actually be solved pretty fast. You said you want help, here you go. And then they're like, nothing prepped me for that. The other thing that no one prepped me for is that as you study foresight, and even before then, I just I've always kind of had this way of seeing the world where I could see what was going to happen in certain situations, how they play out. It is painful to watch people to choose to step on the train track when you're like, hey, uh, there's a train coming. And like, you don't know what you're talking about. Mind a business. Oh, okay, but there's a train. It's hard to do, it's hard to observe that and know that you actually are power powerless. So those are the two somewhat related things that um are constant, I mean not constant, but are a regular presence in my life that kind of gives me that little throbbing pain from time to time where you see things and you're like, oh my gosh, it didn't have to be this way, or you don't you didn't have to suffer like this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:01

Wow. Uh I heard that one time talked about as a you're a pre-procrastinator because you can see what's coming, and so you're planning for what's coming, and it may not come, but it probably is going to come. And um, and uh one of my kids will tell me that I'm his anxiety because I'm like, hey, that's gonna, you might want to, and so it's that same kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 49:24

Yeah.

Global Stages And Culture Shifts

SPEAKER_04 49:25

So that's interesting the way you put it. It's chicken little, uh, it's basically being chicken little reading where you're just like, and people are just like, uh Yeah, and you have to be careful how often you're you are being the oh, it just stung me. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I knew it was gonna sting me. Oh, hang on. Sorry. Oh, oh I need an ice pack really quick. Oh, oh, I saw it and I thought if I ignored it, well, that was fun, wasn't it? Oh my gosh, are you okay? Yeah, is it off your glasses? It was on your glasses. Yeah, I I took my glasses off. Oh man, I hope it's one of those things that dies. Okay. Yikes! Oh man, thank you, Becca. So we're gonna go back. I'll this is one of those things, Crystal, that I'll edit out. Oh my okay. Well, I was about to go into um, we have talked about so many different aspects, so many different things within your life and professional life and personal. Is there anything that we didn't touch on that perhaps we definitely want to?

SPEAKER_01 50:51

I don't know. I just came into this pretty open just to see, you know, where you wanted to lead me. So I don't think there's anything in particular. I just maybe this as a futurist. I just really want to encourage everyone listening to not only have hope, but to have vision, to keep a vision of what's possible. Um, I think we live in a world in a time where there's a lot going on and a lot of people feel disillusioned. Um, but I would just want to encourage everybody to keep a positive vision. Doesn't mean we don't have work to do. And then speaking of the work, uh keep in mind that an action is action. So choosing not to take action on something is an action. Um, the historian, the great American historian and uh social rights leader, Howard Zinn once said, You can't be neutral on a moving train. So um as we try to figure out what we're going to do, or if you like the direction of things, you don't like the direction of things, just keep in mind you can hold a vision for what's possible. We need that. It's important for foresight. You have to know where you're trying to go. It's like a map, right? You can't get somewhere if you don't know what your destination is. But um, and action is action. So choose intentional action.

SPEAKER_04 52:07

Wow, I like that. Intentionality gets thrown around these days, but when you kind of think it through a lot that we've talked about today, the kindness versus nice and the intentionality applied to that. I I really like it. I have a lot to think about, and I'm sure listeners do as well. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 52:27

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 52:28

How do people follow you, get in touch with you? Um, how do they locate and be maybe um a little bit more uh following what you're doing and and kind of experiencing some of your excitement of life?

SPEAKER_01 52:44

Yeah, well, my website is crystalwashington.com, and through there's all the links and the emails, links to the social networks I'm still on. Some of them I've gotten off over the past few years because it's just the energy on some of them is is honestly, in my opinion, destructive. Um, but I'm still on a few for now. So if there's someplace you want to connect with me, you can find them there.

SPEAKER_04 53:05

Yeah, that's fabulous. I have one more question. Okay. If you had 24 hours, and I already know based on you, that's not gonna be enough, but if you have 24 hours and you have a um my mind just went blank. I'm gonna okay, let me start that again. If you have 24 hours and you um could have any superpower that you wanted, and I know that 24 hours is not gonna be enough for you, but if you have 24 hours and you can use that superpower professionally or personally, what superpower would you choose? How would you use it? And uh I'm really interested in why that would be your choice.

SPEAKER_01 53:46

Yikes, that's hard. Woo. You know, it's funny, I should have a simple answer, right? But because of my foresight, because of my foresight trading and my all my time spent towards studying history, I know how dangerous it is to, you know, change things. So I don't know. I guess, you know, do you remember the care bears? Yeah. And they do like a care bear stare, and like a little heart would come out of their chest and it would hit people. Maybe I'd just be a care bear that do care bear stares. And and I don't know if it would just be heart. Like, I'm not trying to turn people into care bears. I would need them to be thinking, I want them to be logical care bears. So I would want a power to just inject people with this thing that's like, oh, I need to find more information. And I want to do good by everybody. If I could do that, I think that would be such a blessing.

SPEAKER_04 54:41

Well, it would be an incredible combination there for sure. For sure. That's funny. I I you know, I don't know if everybody else has it, but I have a vision of the care bear heart popping out in my head right now. So Crystal, this has been fabulous, and I thank you so very much for joining us and the time that you've given. Thank you so, so much.

SPEAKER_01 55:02

Thank you, Amy.