Stacked Keys Podcast
The idea to talk to women who are out there living and making a difference is where the Stacked Keys Podcast was born. There are women who make a difference, but never make a wave while paddling through life. Immediately I can think of a dozen or more who impacted me, but I want more. I want to talk to those I don't know and I want to share with an audience that might need the inspiration to find their own beat. This podcast is to feature women who are impressive in the work world-- or in raising a family -- or who have hobbies that can make us all be encouraged. Want to hear what makes these women passionate and get up in the morning or what they wish they had known earlier in life? Grab your keys and STOMP to your own drum.
Stacked Keys Podcast
Episode 254 -- Christine Tilton -- What If Success Starts With Holding Space
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You can do everything “right” and still feel miserable at work, and that gap is trying to tell you something. Christine Tilton joins us to talk about what happens when a successful corporate path stops fitting, and why the bravest career move can be admitting you need something deeper than a title.
Christine’s story runs through journalism, decades in HR and talent acquisition, and a pivot into career coaching and career transition services. We unpack how COVID changed work culture, from remote work expectations to the Great Resignation, the Great Reshuffle, and today’s wave of layoffs that has created a brutally competitive job market. If you’re job searching, we get practical about what’s different now: how to frame your value in interviews, why networking matters more than blind applications, and how to stay future-focused without losing yourself.
We also go beyond career advice into the parts people rarely say out loud: self-worth after job loss, parenting through a fast and scary world, and why “holding space” can be the most powerful support you offer someone in grief. Christine explains why she’s building “Beginnings” around both career coaching and grief coaching, and how authenticity is not a vibe, it’s a decision you practice.
If this conversation helps, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs steadier ground, and leave a review so more people can find it. What’s one small step you’re willing to take this week?
Music "STOMP" used by permission of artist Donica Knight Holdman and Jim Huff
Welcome And Greece Connection
SPEAKER_01I cannot tell you how excited I am today. I have one of a lady who basically I didn't know at all a year ago, have no reason for our worlds to come together, but we went on a retreat together to Greece, which y'all who have been listening know that I have a very soft spot in my heart for Greece and for um the retreat and just all things that come out of pulling people together. So this morning I welcome Christine Tilton.
SPEAKER_00Welcome, Christine. Thank you so much. It's so good to see you again, Amy, and so good to be here. And I can't believe it's been a year, about a year since our wonderful retreat in Greece.
Christine’s Career Path And Pivot
SPEAKER_01No, time absolutely flies. And we've been doing just a little bit of catching up before we got started. But Christine, right out of the gate, tell me how people know you both professionally and personally.
SPEAKER_00Sure. Um, all right. So I think personally people know me as um a mother. I have two amazing daughters. Um I am a daughter of my mother and a sister of my uh my sister Laura, who you also met on the retreat. Um and um professionally, um I have had a few careers. I started as a journalist. I have a master's in journalism from Boston University. Uh I did that for about 10 years, maybe a few more, and then I transitioned to the HR, uh, where I worked in HR and talent acquisition for about 20 plus years. Um and so I think professionally, probably people know me as a talent acquisition leader. Um, but people always say, sort of, what's the how did you go from journalism to HR? Uh and what I say is that the thread that connected those two careers uh is my interest in people's stories. Um as a journalist, I would listen to, I would ask questions and try to learn about what was happening in the world, hear people's stories and then share those out. Um I moved into HR because I found that I really wanted to be able to lean in and help people more than I could as a journalist. So in HR, I get to hear people's stories and I get to help them take a step in a career or figure out what the right step might be. Um and so um around when we met about a year ago, I decided to transition out of sort of corporate um corporate life, I guess. And um, right now I'm working as a career coach part-time and hoping to launch a coaching business. So going even deeper into listening to people's stories and connecting with them.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Wow. Well, in that world, there's been so much change. There's so many, you see the differences in what people are bringing to their professional lives, what they're wanting, how they're trying to balance. So, how do you incorporate being that listener and then being one who can offer tools? And now maybe out of the HR and into the coaching, you have more flexibility in that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that is a really good question, and I think incredibly accurate and timely, you know. I I think um since COVID, working internally in a talent acquisition function during COVID brought tons of change in terms of, you know, we can't work in the office. How do we do all of this? Um, but once that sort of we moved through that, then um, you know, in my world, we sort of went through the great resignation where people were retired, were moving jobs and moving companies like crazy. Um, and then we went to the great reshuffle, which was okay, maybe I want to go back to the company I left and figure out sort of, you know, where to land. Um, so that was very busy within sort of the business world, I think, in a in a talent acquisition HR perspective. But then on top of that, we had this whole sort of awakening that you don't have to work in the office, you could work from home. And that's changed with technology, that's changed all of us and sort of how how we approach things. And then you layer on top of that all of the new generational changes and requirements, which are so wonderful. Um, you know, the the less seasoned generations pushing the more seasoned generations to make change and um sort of what they're looking for in work, you know, what somebody now, right out of college, is expecting from work and their work environment is very different than what I did 30 years ago coming out of school. Uh so incorporating all of those things and being open to that um is a lot. And um I think having gone through it in a professional setting, I certainly learned a lot. Um, for me personally, I think I was just really tired and I sort of hit a point where I wanted, I saw these changes happening and everybody trying so hard to make everything work and um lots of change management and lots of just really wonderful people trying to figure stuff out for themselves in this sort of chaotic time we've been through in the last five, 10 years. Um, but I realized and learned through my own journey that I needed to go deeper with people and meet them in a different place outside of a corporate world. I'm not sure if that's answering your question.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00But that's kind of how how I've moved, moved and leaned into it a bit more.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, you know, it's it's interesting because you talk about what the needs are uh of those that are coming into the workforce now versus you know 30 years ago. Um, I can remember one of my nephews um coming out of school and looking at his salary and going, and he'd been through grad school and and all this, and he's like, that's not enough for me to live on. And it was a tremendous amount, but it was like the expectations weren't always of the job and all the perks, but it was the bottom, it was the dollar line. And today, maybe that dollar line is not the primary focus, it is all the different aspects to balance.
What New Workers Expect Now
SPEAKER_00I think you're right. I think the the newer generations are requiring more authentic connection in their work. The types of benefits they're looking for are different. Um, there's a real sense of corporate responsibility around sustainability. Um, how is the corporation or the company making a difference in the world from that perspective? I don't know too much about that, but I know that that's a really big topic. Um there's more of a sense of um, how are we gonna all do this together? And what what are we going to do differently that makes life better for all of us than I think my generation, our generation, yeah, thought about, you know, and that's a really neat thing, but it's it's definitely a change.
Relaxing Into Your Authentic Self
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, and being open to that and open discussion um kind of gives you a platform right there in your in your coaching. If you could help somebody succeed at one thing, what what would you want to help them succeed at?
Parenting With Curiosity And Respect
SPEAKER_00Oh, that is a good question, Amy. I think uh I would want to help somebody succeed at being able to relax into their authentic self and make decisions from there. Um I think that that is a reflection of what my struggle's been, you know, and getting to a place where I think I'm just now beginning to do that. And I'm a big believer that whatever our journey is or our story personally, yours for you, mine for me, that that's where the gift comes from and what you can give somebody else. Um and so I think if you know, in talking with people and in working with people, having them feel comfortable and safe finding, having you know, questions around that type of conversation and really digging in to feel comfortable with not what everybody else says you should do, but what is it that you want to do and who are you? Yeah. How do you do that for your girls? Oh well, I'm still trying, and I you know, um, I hope I'm doing it. To to think that I'm actually doing that would be a huge compliment because I think, as you know, as a mom, you know, we try our best. Um, we make mistakes. But I think that um, you know, I have approached raising our daughters from the perspective of what can I learn from them? You know, putting my agenda, you know, obviously the things that are important, like keeping them safe, making sure they eat healthy, um, those kinds of things, um, sort of aligning to our family values, those types of things just go without saying. But outside of that, it's more putting myself on the backseat and saying, I might not agree with her or I might not like the way she's talking about this, but what can I learn? Like, what's her real situation? What else is really going on with her? And how is she teaching me to be a bigger person right now and sort of building that relationship on a respectful, even level or space? Um, that's where I always try to go back to. It's tough, but I'm it's also so rewarding.
SPEAKER_01It is tough, and you know, we talk sometimes about the world being different. Um, it's hard to protect your kids and influence and um allow them to be their own. But when you're looking at talking to people and looking at human resources, uh so often, it is a whole family picture that you're having to kind of get. And oh yeah, whether you can use the information or not, it still comes into the play of the narrative.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, definitely working in talent acquisition and talking with, I talk to so many people every day. And I would always try to remember, you know, this is a person who's trying to provide for their family. At the end of the day, that's a core need, you know, and so there's a lot behind that. Um, and then with my my daughters, um you know, I just try to remember sort of what are they bringing to this? What were their experiences in the day that affected where they're where they are right now, and taking that into account more than what I need from them at all.
Wishing Versus Realizing A Dream
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. Oh, our whole day can affect the next comment that comes out of our mouth. So definitely so, you know, there's a lot of times when you're sitting there kind of even in the last year of kind of thinking out, dreaming out, doing your process of planning. What do you think the difference between wishing and realizing your dreams is? Or is there a difference?
SPEAKER_00That is such a good question. Oh my goodness. Okay, wishing or realizing your dreams? I I think what pops into my mind immediately is the wishing is sort of the beginning of the process. And when you're wishing for something, it's important to give yourself grace to understand that that's something in you, that's that's you talking to yourself about what you want and maybe a direction you need to go into. Um and possibly keeping it quiet, keeping it safe from other people's opinions, you know, really have um sort of reverence for it. Um and then as you move forward, having that become moving into what what did you say, wishing to like it becoming a reality?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, wishing or realizing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Realizing. So then the realization of that wish is maybe when your soul is ready to actually make it part of your day-to-day life. And I think sometimes that just happens. Um, and sometimes you work towards it and do work on yourself to get there. Um, the realization is stepping into it sort of like this is this is my new reality. Um and the wishing is the the little signal inside you that's saying, Hey, I'm here. Don't forget about this. This is I'm a part of you, and I and this is okay to go think about doing.
SPEAKER_01I love that. And I I kind of just got whooshed back a year ago to street that we were on. Um, it was called the Art of Living. And um, part of what it was was pulling out a dream, pulling out a thought. And then we were quiet with it. I mean, there were many times when you'd look around and somebody would just be quiet in that moment, and there'd be all the chatter around them, and then they'd emerge with whatever they were thinking, maybe. And then there was an accountability of um, I mean, one night we're sitting there and everybody's like, okay, what are you going to do? Well, what action are you going to take? And then it's been fun to kind of look back in this very fast year and see what kind of actions people have taken.
SPEAKER_00So I think you're right. And maybe there we were wishing or we were beginning to realize things. And that I remember exactly. The the trip was so I think we just were all meant to be together, and there was such a connection with all of us. Um, and truly the sharing we did and the stories that I heard everybody else tell, and sort of how we were vulnerable with each other gave me permission. Honestly, I'm not sure I'd be where I am right now without that retreat. Um, it gave me permission to be open to my wishes and then move down that path.
Hard Chapters That Build Strength
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. I will tell you, I, you know, I never thought much about a retreat. I never thought much about what it allowed me to do. And when I look at that and I kind of go through maybe thinking of what's the scariest thing I've ever done. And I'm not sure at the moment I realized it, but you know, it's pretty scary to be vulnerable with uh strangers. But because we were strangers, you could be vulnerable, right? Right. And then it could come to where it's like, okay, we're no longer strangers. We know each other really well, yeah, yeah. So what's the scariest thing, kind of along those same lines, or maybe something completely different? What's the scariest thing you've ever had to face that you've done?
SPEAKER_00Oh, that that's a great question. Um, so I will tell you really quickly, though, when I saw you on that retreat with your two daughters, I was so impressed and inspired because you were three women traveling around the world alone. And you've had a strength that inspired me. Um, and I think sort of along those lines, I have such a free spirit and I love the idea of travel and going places. But as I've been getting older, doing that on my own, I have a husband and a family, but doing that on my own, um, I get nervous and I don't know why. And so I really watched you and connected that you were doing that, and it was so inspiring.
SPEAKER_01Um but I think I'll tell you, I draw from my girls, that's for sure. So when I when I am doing, um I am drawing from them, but it's funny. Um, I had some vulnerabilities then that now I do not. And um, and you know, here Becca in the last you know month giving birth in kind of an emergency situation. Um, I've had to step up and have strength that had I not gone through all those processes, yeah, I could have done it, but it would have taxed me a whole lot more than it is today. And um I think it's getting those moments and kind of um building into your fabric to make you a bit stronger when you do come into the next chapter.
SPEAKER_00So I think you're right, but when when you really look back, there are reasons for why things have happened the way they have. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But you know, I sort of I feel like I've had a few things that have been just really hard. You know, I had a relationship when I was younger that was about 13 years that ended. Um and I sort of started over, and that was that was huge and very hard. I also um when I married my husband, I became a stepmother. Um, and so I have a bonus daughter, and that has been one of the most rewarding pivotal ex I almost can't talk about it, you know. Um I think relationships in my life because I've learned so much to be a part of somebody else's life and family. Yeah is a gift. Um so that uh that's taught me a lot. Um and then uh I think not going back to corporate life, you know, this is not easy right now to be working part-time and trying to start something on my own. This is really challenging. Um but for all three of those things, um I love that movie. I don't know if you know this movie, it's called Must Love Dogs, and it has John Cusack in it and Diane Lane. It's old, but he he makes a comment in that movie that when your heart breaks, it just grows back bigger and stronger. And I think I've sort of used that in my life to remember these are really amazing gifts of experiences because you just grow so much from them. Oh yeah.
Unfairness, Grief, And Holding Space
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, a lot of times we don't slow down enough to reflect to see that growth. And so conversations like this um kind of help us all take a minute and go, hmm, if if that can be that impactful to you, what's been impactful to me? Um and so often we hear life's just unfair. It's just unfair. This is not fair. Why am I in this situation? It's not fair. When you hear the word unfair, what pops in your head?
SPEAKER_00Hmm. Um life is not fair, you know, it's just I wish it was, but we all will have things where you know, maybe there really isn't a reason, or maybe you really aren't going to learn something from this, you know. Um it sort of just is. And then how do you respond to that? Because at the end of the day, in our sort of guttural most core level of all of us as human beings, we all are gonna face unfair, really hard things. And you know, I don't I don't think that necessarily what comes out of that is well, what can I learn from this or will this make me a better person? But more around sort of the lane of we, you know, kind of like Lennon Doyle says, but like we belong to each other, we're all humanity and we're all in this together. And so yeah, that just sucks if that happened and it's unfair. But I'm here with you, you know, and you don't have to be alone.
SPEAKER_01Um I think sometimes, sometimes. We put such a heavy on something that happened and we're supposed to get something good out of it and you know look at this. And I can remember, and it was years later, I had no idea this was a thought process of his, but um, you know, my son Isaac um had a heart attack when he was 13. And so heart surgery and he went through all of that. And one thing that people said so much is, well, God's got a plan for you. You got something big to do, you got, you know, because here you are. And, you know, he went on and and he was able to uh live some of his athletic dreams. And I mean, even today he's he's in the competition jiu-jitsu world. And so, you know, he's doing all these things, but he told me one time, he goes, Do you know how heavy it is to know that I might be missing whatever the big thing I was saved for to do?
SPEAKER_00Really good point.
SPEAKER_01Wow. Oh man, I don't think I'm gonna say that to people anymore because that is heavy. So yeah, everything that happened to him wasn't fair, wasn't the way we would want it, and it certainly defined life, but sometimes we put a lot of weight on stuff that maybe really good point, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because you think you're making him feel better, but really he's like, Oh, what does that mean? Am I supposed to do some massive big thing that exactly that I don't want to do? I just want to get through this and live my life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And I mean, I look at what's happened with Becca with you know, having um her baby uh so early, there were a lot of traumatic events, and they've got to process those, but it does not define tomorrow.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely correct, absolutely correct. There's sort of a, you know, there's gonna be a grief period where she's gotta process a lot, and and there's no limit on how long grief takes. It is what it is, and it's how we get through things, and um yeah, I mean, there's a there's an acknowledgement and a sort of um, you know, I don't want to say reverence, but what's the word I'm looking for? Like you want to hold space for that grief, that that process she has to go through because it it is important and it moves through your body, but she can't be future focused, it doesn't have to be forever this story about, you know, um that weighing her down.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I agree. You know, when you said that about holding space, I have heard more people coming out of our retreat. And I mean, well, how many of the there were 10? 10, maybe, yeah. Um, but I have heard more of us say the biggest thing that came out of that was holding space. Everybody held space for one another, and so maybe that's the key to what we should be doing in relationships. Hold space.
SPEAKER_00You know, I um I might go down a rabbit hole here. That's all right.
SPEAKER_01Rabbit holes are good.
SPEAKER_00Um I just personally feel like right now all of us could use somebody holding space for us a lot more than we get in our day-to-day life. We have so much going on in the world, um just with everything happening in the world and then with technology moving things so quickly, um, giving us more information that we can digest as a as a human body and brain and soul. Um this sort of, you know, all of the generational changes, all of it. I I just kind of wish we could all just stop and be and breathe and be okay with that, you know. And I think you're right, we need that so much right now. Um, and where do we find it? You know, who how do we do that? And and are we teaching each other that it's okay to do that and we're teaching our children, you know, go sit outside by a tree for 30 minutes and be bored and it's okay, you know. I mean, truly that's that's part of uh my journey into full-time coaching is uh and I'm in the process right now of earning my ICF certification. Um one of the first questions our teacher asked us in the class was, what brings you to coaching? And are you okay with the story of what brings you to coaching? And I think when we met a year ago, I wasn't okay with it. And this through the year, I've gotten to a place where you know, I just um I literally couldn't do my full-time job anymore because I deeply needed to meet people in a really deep place and have those conversations. Um, so in a way, I had to become okay with that. You know, if if you met me on the street or you met me at the retreat, you know, it's like, oh, happy person, normal person doing a normal job and has a family and a fine life and everything's fine and okay. But inside, I was like, no, I just I'm so miserable. Um, I enjoy the people I work with, I enjoy what I'm doing every day, but it's not my calling. And um I think part of getting to here was really sitting with myself and letting myself really have that space and that time that we all need so much to align with I I hope I'm making sense. I sort of feel like I'm all over the place, but um like really being okay with oh what it is that called me to this, which is truly just that I meet people in a very deep place and that's where I'm comfortable and holding space for people. Like I'm that person, you know, those videos where you see somebody just stand there and they give free hugs, that's who I am, you know. But how do you talk about that in your corporate job? You don't. So making that transition feels freeing, but it takes a long time to get there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think that's fabulous. But you know, I remember there was a time, that's what HR was. It was like you walk into that office and they help you figure out and navigate the tons of paper, the tons of this, the why won't this work? Right.
SPEAKER_00There's so much now, there's so many levels to it, and so many things you can say and can't say and should say, and have to be a present for every conversation so that whoever's document everything, yeah, is so it's like well, so I can see people that go into HR still want that, you know. But you're you're right, it's evolved into more, yeah.
Coaching Training And Career Transitions
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I mean, I don't want to put that down in any way because it is uh an integral part of what keeps my husband out of trouble, yeah. But um, but yeah, I mean, in the management world and everything, it's it's a big deal. But um, are you talking? Let's talk a little bit about the coaching. I mean, you're not just going, oh, I want to be a coach, you're going through some training and being, you know, a part of an organization that that does some work toward that. So tell me a little bit about that direction and how you chose that direction.
SPEAKER_00So, okay, so around um when COVID, when we were beginning to come out of COVID at the organization I was working at, um, they had a benefit where they would pay for some professional development. And what I chose was to take a course um that was an eight-week course to become a certified um associate certified coach with the International Coaching Federation. And while I was doing that, in addition to my my full-time job, I was also working within the HR department to set up a center, a coaching center of excellence, because coaching was becoming something that the organization couldn't ignore. You know, it was becoming this more um popular sort of offering. Um and then as uh I mentioned before, and as as I sort of was working through this after COVID, we had the great um reshuffle where every like people were leaving the company in hundreds, you know, like going to another country to get a higher paying job. And the amount of positions our team had to fill was ignorant. I mean, we were working 80 hours a week, it was just nonstop and exhausting. So I I ended up putting that on hold, um, but it never left me. And so I spent a few years still at the same organization doing my job. And I would coach, um, internally coach people who wanted to up level to the next level in their career. So go from manager to senior manager or senior director to VP and sort of do some internal coaching. And I worked uh with the coaching center of excellence in HR at the company um still. So I had my foot in it. But um, around when we got together at the retreat, I think I was just personally so exhausted. Um, and almost in a space of like, I don't know what to do because I I need the money, I need to do this. I've got a daughter in college, you know, I just sort of um how do I how do I do this? But what happened was that I just literally hit a ball and I I physically and emotionally and spiritually needed a break. And so, sort of in my last year at the company, as our company was starting to lay people off, there was a group within the HR department that was talking to the people that we were letting go and connecting them to an organization that did career transition services. Um, and so I said to myself, I want to do that. Um so as I was leaving my organization, I started to look at these companies that do career transition services. So, um, and I got a job doing that. So that's where I left my organization and now I'm working with LHH, which is uh Lee Lee Um Henry Hecht. And it's an organization that does a lot of different things. It's global, but one of their big divisions is career transition services. So basically, um I meet with people all day who have been let go from an organization, and I sort of walk through with them uh best practices around how do I like what do I do? Like, let's settle into what's happened, breathe, and then what are the best practices in my my approach and my sort of marketing plan of marketing myself to get that next job? And how do I do that in this economy right now in this moment in America, which is really kind of tough. Um, so I love, love, love this work. It uses all of my background, and I really get to sort of just hold space for people and be there for them. You know, I can meet with them and one day, you know, I have people break down in tears, and one day I have people get excited because they have five interviews. You know, it can be something different every day, and it just really speaks to my like I feel like I'm doing something that's aligned for me in that.
Empathy Boundaries And Coaching Mindset
SPEAKER_01I love that. Well, Christine, how do you not go ripping your own heart out every time you're dealing with somebody and coaching them? And you physically feel their pain and their emotion. How do you differentiate between this is my job and this is my heart, my head?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's a great question because I I think I am quite an empath. And so I definitely have to put some boundaries up. Um I I have found things like I walk every day and it's non-negotiable. I walk around my block, you know, sometimes a little bit longer. Um, and my family's very supportive, and that's sort of a detox way to transition. But I also think that um I don't think that I can do other work, and it's so aligned with, you know, just who I am as a being that I don't know if I'm capable of doing something that doesn't connect that much with people. Yeah, yeah. So um, I don't know. I think sometimes I'm a weirdo. But I've accepted it.
SPEAKER_01Well, I mean, you're able to see, and I guess the question that uh that you were talking about earlier from your coach training of are you comfortable with what brought you here? What brought you here is so intertwined that that makes you um helpful, you know. Even though sometimes and we were talking earlier about becoming a grandparent, sometimes it's knowing when to, you know, and this was before we came on the actual show, but um, sometimes it's knowing when to bite my lip and shut my mouth. Sometimes that's probably the same thing in coaching. You may know the experience, but it might be a moment where you bite your lip and shut your mouth and let them process.
SPEAKER_00Well, the idea in coaching is that everybody that you work with is 100% fully capable of figuring out the way forward for themselves that will work the best for them. And so it's a future forward kind of process where I'm just asking questions to get that thinking started and and I follow them, you know. Um it's wonderful, it's really exciting.
SPEAKER_01That's fabulous. That goes right into your interviewing skills. I mean, your whole thing was to get people thinking forward into the conversation or getting the the soundbite or the news article or or whatever you were in the process of doing, but that's a journalistic talent.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, there's definitely that connection. And I think even today, for people who are listening to this and are out there job searching, you know, in the interview right now, what companies are looking for is, you know, are you ready to jump in with us? Are you thinking about the future and how you can add value and how your successes can join our our current situation versus you know, sort of where you're coming from? Everything is sort of future forward right now. Um so it's a kind of a good way to wire your mind.
SPEAKER_01Um well, when you hear the word competition, um, and and they they say now, you know, that that there are a lot of jobs out there, but there's a lot of competition. And and I know a lot of times when jobs get open, I mean, they can have hundreds of people uh apply for something that doesn't even deserve a hundred applications. Um when you hear the word competition, both personally and and in your professional world, how do you feel? What do you think? What pops in your head?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, I think right, so the the candidate market and the job market right now is unlike one we've had in my lifetime. Um the amount of layoffs that are happening um are enormous. And so when I think of the word competition from a candidate professional perspective, I think, you know, yes, there is huge competition out there because there are it's a saturated candidate market. There are so many people vying for the very few jobs that are being posted right now or that are being hired for right now. And so what's happened is that out of that, from a professional perspective, is that the game's changed. You know, it's about networking, it's about the relationships that you have, it's about knowing somebody who's gonna help you get into that company or know of a role that's gonna open before it's posted. Um, those things are really sort of what we're managing through right now. If you and I talked in February or March of next year, it might be different. But right now, you know, we're sort of getting towards the end of the fiscal year for most companies. Um there are some roles open, but not many because budgets are tight. Um and so I just I hear that word and I think yes, it's it's not fair that it's where we are. And um, how do we how do we work through that? And then personally, competition. When I hear that word, I think immediately, what can you do to just know you're okay and be grounded in who you are? Because there's so much competition out there for everything, but at the end of the day, it comes back to am I okay with me? And if I am, then maybe that competition doesn't really matter so much.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Now you have a sister. I do, she's wonderful. She is wonderful, and y'all are very different. You have different personalities. I mean, I look at my my girls, and you had two very different personalities. Yes, and so you could see that. So, did you grow up with competition?
SPEAKER_00Um I think we did not necessarily. We're we're four years apart, and I'm the older sister, she's younger. Um, and I think that because we were just far enough apart, you know, I left high school when she started high school, I went to college. Um, you know, I graduated college when she went to college. So we were just far and we went to different schools because they read they did a redistricting of our area. So we ended up not going to the same high school. Um, so I don't I don't personally feel like there was competition now. You can ask her. I don't know. Um and I and I I sort of feel like in a in a really neat way, kind of what I saw with your girls is that Laura and I have just very much appreciated each other through the years. And I definitely learned from her, you know. I I don't think age really there's some things I've been through that she hasn't, and but then there's some things she's been through that I haven't. And she's younger than me, you know, and so we have open minds and learn from each other.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's the you hit a keyword or uh concept right there is open minds. And uh, you know, you can have very different lives and yet come together, and and so that that can be fun. What do you think the difference is between wants and needs? You know, some of us have the need to be around people and and pull and draw from them. Some of us just want it, but you know, what do you think, whether it's materialistic or whether it's you know, something, um, a concept, do you see a difference between wants and needs?
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, you are asking good questions.
SPEAKER_01Trying to go trying to go deep, Christine.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um I feel like needs are sort of requirements for yourself. You know, why you have that need, there could be different reasons, but a need is something that you have to figure out. A want could just be that you're being influenced or you want to, you know, um, oh gosh, now as I'm talking, I'm like, maybe they are in the same. I don't know. Um, you know, like I would really, I really want to go back to Greece. Do I need do I need that? No. Depends on the day. I mean, I could I could argue that I do need it. So um that's a really good question. I might have to think about this one a little bit longer. Um but I think on the surface level, a need is something more uh of a requirement and a want is like a nice to have, like in theory. But it's definitely a good conversation because I could probably go back and forth on both.
SPEAKER_01Well, maybe it's what falls in the category. Maybe it's you know, that's deciding what actually goes in the category might be what fluctuates between the two columns. Yes, yes, that makes sense. One day it is a need, and the other day it's a well, I really want.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, because I can fully understand needing to go back to Greece.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I can get on that that uh little little bandwagon for. Sure. Describe to me your perfect day.
SPEAKER_00Oh, my perfect day would be um waking up and having everybody in my family home, um making a big breakfast, telling jokes and hanging out, and then all of us going out to do something like a hike, uh apple picking. It's apple picking season now in Virginia, so um something like that. Um maybe doing some sort of service kind of thing in our community, you know. Um and then I think I'm I'm a homebody, so probably coming home, making a big dinner together, watching a movie, and just being together. To me, that would be a perfect, a perfect day.
SPEAKER_01I like your day. I like your day a lot. Um, it's funny, Becca's husband, Seth, is an apple connoisseur. Um, I never was, I never really thought that much about it. And then he's taken us to some of the orchards that are um North Georgia. And um now I don't know how to buy apples because you go in the grocery store and it's like, uh there's a lot to it, right?
SPEAKER_00There's a lot to it.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, so I'm I'm a little envious because I'm like seeing this orchard with the the fallish and yeah, our audience can't see you today, but you have it on turtleneck, and I'm thinking, gotta be cooler in your area than it is here in South Alabama.
SPEAKER_00I think it probably is. I'm in northern Virginia, and it is definitely a fall day here, and we're actually going apple picking this Saturday with um with both our daughters and one of our daughter's boyfriends. Um, and then we're gonna come home and make apple pies and apple tarts and oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01Oh my goodness, that sounds fabulous. Um, so you know, it just seems like you just have this perfect life, Christine. It's just like the boulders in your way, there's nothing you have to push forward. Where do you go when you do have to solve a problem?
SPEAKER_00I definitely do not have a perfect life. I will say that. Um I have had a hard life. I think a lot of us do. Uh uh, where do I go? So I am in my 50s. Um, and I think where I go now is different than where I went in my 40s and my 30s. Um, when I was younger, I used to go running. Um, and that was sort of my spiritual outlet. Um, I have since completely ruined my knees and had lots of knee surgeries, so I don't do that anymore. Um but I think now I go to maybe a conversation with a girlfriend that's real and authentic and deep. Um, I also do a lot, I know this sounds cliche, but I also do a lot with my church. Um, you know, I'm on the vest street and I am a chalice bearer during communion. And I find just finding ways to go to literally get myself in that building and be there helps me shake off, you know, tough things. Um so I think right in May that's because I'm older now, but that's um been a really big thing. And then, you know, I have a seventh grader, and so working with her at her school and being in that community also helps me sort of get out of my own way and just find the things to be grateful for.
Teens, Phones, Safety, And Self-Given Grace
SPEAKER_01Yeah, wow. Well, I mean, goodness, I mean, you've got different age group kids. Yes. And so a seventh grade world today is so hard. So hard. So, how do you face that and not just want to spread the wings and just scoop her up and just not let go?
SPEAKER_00Well, I do want to scoop her up and not let go, and I will tell you, it is hard. Um, especially with the world that we live in, you know. Um actually bought um a bulletproof insert for her backpack for this year. Um I don't even want to go there, but I did because it just made me feel better. Um and and I do. I am a seventh grader, so she's almost 13, and then I have a my bonus wonderful daughter is 22. So we have almost a 10-year span. And I it's sort of like we raised a child, and now we're doing it all over. Yeah. Um so I think I just really focus on the gifts I get from being older and having a seventh grader, which are that I get to I have to stay attuned to what the younger younger generation needs, what they're doing. I have to learn from her. I have to. Um, I don't have a choice. And um it is challenging, you know, to do that. Um, every day she wants a phone, you know, um, and that's tough. That's I'm really struggling with that. Um, but you know, I think I just try to frame it with maybe because I'm so grateful for her, because I had her so late in life, that um every moment with her, even the ones that are tough or where there's challenging things in the world, I'm so grateful that I have her. Um you know, it's just I have to go back to that and then I kind of rearrange from there. Um the the little arguments or the the pushing or the you know, we're in the phase right now where I'm I could not be cool if I tried. My hair doesn't look good, my makeup's all wrong, all of those things. I just um I'm grateful for them.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, you know, it's really interesting because when you're talking about that, um there just has to be grace in our lives. There has to be grace that we have to apply. Somebody else doesn't give it to you. You have to give it to yourself. And in parenting, you know, you're making the best choices you can possibly make. And are you going to be right? Probably not.
SPEAKER_00Probably not. But yeah, we make mistakes.
SPEAKER_01But staying involved is a better price to pay than not staying involved because it's gonna happen. Life is gonna happen no matter what. Yes, so I you know, I have often said, and I will continue to say, I offer my parents grace, and I hope that my kids will offer me that same grace because my parents made a lot of mistakes, but they did the absolute best they could at the moment. And probably if I've been more open and honest with them, they would have had more tools to work with. But you know, that was a day where you didn't have to share very much. Today, there's over-sharing, there's all of this social competition that um you just want to. I I I just I don't know how you make those decisions.
SPEAKER_00Um, I don't either. And I think there's so many things about everything you just said, or are I'm I'm so with you on all of them. I think, you know, looking at our parents and recognizing that they really did do the best they could with what they had and with who they were and with what they were going through, you know. They were going through a lot too. And then hoping that my daughters hit hit an age, maybe it'll probably be when they have children, you know, where they say, Oh, okay, you know, maybe they weren't so bad. Um and I and I wonder too, with all of the oversharing and all of the things that are coming out of that, you know, our newer generation is gonna pull back from that and not want it so much. And maybe the pendulum's gonna swing the other way, where they don't want so many pictures and they don't want to share their life or their life so that it looks good, even if it's not, you know, maybe they just stop it all. And I'm sort of feeling like in the seventh grade right now, with with my daughter, there's a lot of conversation around getting a flip phone and not a smartphone. And that seems to be kind of popular. And I'm like, well, that's good.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, let me just throw it away.
SPEAKER_01Isaac lost his phone one time, not too long ago, and you know, he's doing some international stuff, and so but he lost his phone, and it and the the biggest problem we had was couldn't check his flights, couldn't, you know, because all of that's in the apps, right? And but and so he he was relying on uh on us to help him some get that accomplished, and it drove me nuts that he didn't have um access, and on the other side, he was like, Man, that was the best few days of my life. I had nothing, I was free, and and so I really believe 30 something group is coming back to the why do you need access to my every minute? And I mean, going back to HR, you know, you're getting rules put in place of you can't take, I can't tell you how many times at night I'll hear Tom go, oh no, no, no, no. He didn't mean to send, he didn't mean to push send. Right, and you do a delay send, and it's like, well, we're moving too fast, we're doing too much.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. Um, you made me think of something, and now I just forgot it. But um I think the sort of, you know, why why do you have to have access to my every minute and my every move and all of these things? It's it's not healthy for me to share all of that out. And you're right, I think they're kind of people are kind of coming back to what would it actually be like if I didn't have that hanging over my head? Because it's a burden too. Yeah. But there's also sort of like life isn't fair, and in a way, this is where we are. The smartphones and this technology is not going away, you know. So it's just when are we ready for it and how much we use it and that kind of thing, you know.
SPEAKER_01But maybe it's granting us and each other permission to use the tools that are available for our own benefits and our own, so so it's giving permission to go yes, no, and and it's very introspective of how you choose.
SPEAKER_00Right. It's your choice, and that should be fine. And one thing I'm learning certainly from um my older daughter's generation, they're so much more kind to each other and inclusive and accepting. And even even um my seventh grade, that generation, things that bothered us when we were kids or me when we were kids, um, they're not even issues for these generations. I think because of the sharing and the conversations around being inclusive. So that's something good that's come out of all of this, you know.
Why Beginnings Includes Grief Coaching
SPEAKER_01Um for for each situation, there's gonna be a good, a bad uh takeaway, something that needs to be left. So um, Christine, we've talked about a million different things. Is there anything that we didn't touch on that maybe you want to make sure that we do?
SPEAKER_00Oh that's a good question. Um, well, I think because I'm just beginning my coaching, could I like it's called beginnings? Uh and it's focused on career coaching and grief coaching. So um, and the grief coaching is really where I am um the career coaching I I know and I do, and I like to stay on top of it. The grief coaching is where I'm excited to learn more and really lean in because, like we were talking about before, wouldn't it be great to just wake up and say, I want somebody to just hold space for me today? You know, we all like I would love that. We all how great would that be in your day? And so that's sort of what drives that is it's I'm just here, you know, to do that um and connect with people that way.
SPEAKER_01So I I gotta go into that just a little bit. Grief is not something people want to touch a lot. So why would you in a brand new business go, okay? I got this other down pat, but I want to kind of tickle this space a little bit.
SPEAKER_00That's a good question. I think I I'll just be very vulnerable, you know. I think um, as many of us, lots of us in our lives, my path has not been easy, you know. Like you said earlier, your life seems so perfect or whatever. And I it's it's kind of shocking to hear that because it's not there's been a lot. And you know, I'm also sort of at the age of um my parents are seriously aging, and there's like anticipatory grief every day, you know, and I think um the the reason for wanting to move into that space as a coach is that it's just been a constant something I've touched in different parts of my life. Um I I feel comfortable in it um and being in it with other people, and that is the journey I took really from Greece, from our trip to Greece, through now in becoming okay with who I am and meeting people deeply and um being empathetic and an empath, you know, it just um makes sense to me, and I think also right now people need somebody to be there for them, no matter what is is happening, and it's just an alignment for me, I think. Trying to figure it out as as a really good question, and I'm so new, sort of in it still, that I don't have like the best pat answer, but um, I'm trying to stay grounded in what aligns with my natural gifts, as they may not make sense to other people, but this is where I am, and that is a place where there's no shame and there's no timeline in grief, you know. Um, and we all have it.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, in some form or fashion for for sure. And you know, it's it's interesting because I don't know if it's because there's so much more social communication and and people putting their lives out there, but you start start to see things that are affecting people that you didn't know before. You know, you they didn't wear a badge at the grocery store that said, hey, I'm dealing with a major loss, but yet, you know, they they've they put it out there. And I don't know if you've come across this, but probably in the last year I've had so many times of going, whoa, I didn't know that. I had no idea that was home with them or this, this or yeah, not that I'm entitled to know, but it's like, whoa, if I'd known, maybe my actions would be different.
SPEAKER_00Um, and I think that goes back to that saying that we all belong to each other, and you know, we don't know what everybody is going through, but I I guarantee everybody's going through some some things.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, there was a commercial back a long time ago, can't even remember what it's for, but it was some fast food restaurant, and they would go up to the the counter to place their order, and whatever they were experiencing or thinking popped up above their head. I haven't seen it, but I love it. It's it's old. I'll have to look for it, but it's like um all of a sudden you realize that somebody's not just standing in line ordering a burger, they're thinking about whatever they left, whatever conversation they left, whatever they've got to go do, whatever, you know, and it's just all their thoughts and and the hot I can't even remember what it was for. I know it was for the food, but I think there was a message there. But it's a good message of we don't know what's popping up in everybody else's head, or we don't, and everybody's really good at sort of putting on that strong face, but maybe we really need each other, and maybe that will help all of us, you know, in so many ways.
SPEAKER_00And I I don't know at this point in my life, that's just what's coming up, you know.
Where To Find Christine And Final Challenge
SPEAKER_01I like it. All right, Christine. How do people find beginnings? Um, how do they follow you? What if they want to connect with you in a coaching, or what if they just you know we're curious?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, thank you for asking. Um, so uh my website is paperbell.me slash beginnings and my Instagram is let's talkbeginnings. And I can be reached through both.
SPEAKER_01Love it, love it. Um so in talking to women, real quickly, can you think of something that you'd like to challenge to maybe our listeners?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think um, you know, sort of the reason I picked the vote the name beginnings is because I really, really, really believe that just personally, not through any education or or anything like that, but I I really believe that you have something inside of you that you want or that you need or that is that right next step for you. And so begin by just forcing your foot out there to take that next step. See where you are, ground yourself, see what happens. Are you safe? How do you feel? Do you need to retreat? Do you need could you go further another step and begin? So I challenge you to take that one step this week, see what see where you are. Um and that will help you grow. One way or another, you'll learn something, you know.
SPEAKER_01I love it. I love it. I have one more question for you. If you have a superpower, you have it for 24 hours, you can use it professionally or personally. What superpower would you choose? How would you use it? And I love to know why it would be your choice.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so I think that I love this question. I think right now, uh, I think my my answer right now would be different if you asked me in six months. But my superpower would be to go around and give everybody that's been laid off the job of their dreams with a good salary and benefits and that sense of I'm gonna be okay, you know. Um, just to get everybody sort of set back into because I'm talking to people all day, you know, that are going through this. So that would be my superpower to make jobs available for people who need them right now.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01I love that. You know, I couldn't help but think when you were saying that self-worth is so wrapped up in a career of what happened. You know, you just feel a certain way about yourself that may not be true at all.
SPEAKER_00It's certainly a process to lose your income, to lose your reason for getting up in the morning, getting dressed, washing your face, having to connect with people, going to the coffee shop, all of a sudden, and you're not bringing the income in for your family. All of a sudden, that goes away and it plays on all parts of us. You know, I always say jobs are important for so many more reasons, in addition to a paycheck. You know, they give you a sense of purpose, connection, community, all of those things. Um and when this happens, you sort of have to rebuild and you're kind of forced to look in inwardly about what is it that I really want to do? Same job, different job. How do I survive this? You know, it's a lot.
SPEAKER_01Somebody drove up and the dogs went crazy. And I can't get them to stop. And it's I can't hear them. You can't hear them? Not at all. No. Oh, you're kidding me. Really? Oh, I heard that. Yeah, okay. All right, I'll edit that out, but I need them to stop. So I can finish. Um I love it. As we're coming to do the um at the same time, all this was happening in our lives. We were doing the kitchen, finally cleaned the kitchen. Yeah. So exciting. Great. It's like a dream. I just left it and they were like putting things in. So they're coming back and doing the backsplash today. And it's like usually they call me and tell me that they're like in the driveway, but I hear them at the door. And the dogs so hear them.
SPEAKER_00So well, good for you for doing all of this, you know, like while you've got all that going on and you're a new grandmother and just put back on something and you're not gonna get a break.
SPEAKER_01I mean, it's gonna be like so. Let me get them to stop enough so I can do a conclusion. Hang on, let me yell out. All right, this has been fabulous. Christine, thank you so much for joining me.
SPEAKER_00Oh, thank you for having me. I um I have loved this and I have loved just connecting with you again. I can't believe it's been a year. Um I really I felt like of most of the people on our trip, you were one of the people I really connected with. So it was it's really great to talk again.
SPEAKER_01Oh, absolutely. Likewise, me too. I it it is amazing that it's been a year, but um, but wow, the things we came out of that with. So yeah, the relationships and uh it's just fabulous. So thank you, thank you, thank you for being here. Thank you too.