Burnout: A Journey Towards Resilience with Amy Schamberg 5

Ever found yourself stuck in a cycle of venting about work frustrations, only to feel even more overwhelmed? I've been there, and in this episode, I open up about my personal journey navigating burnout in the education field. Together with my guest, the insightful Amy Schamberg, a certified functional medicine health coach, we explore the hidden challenges educators face beyond the classroom. By sharing real-life experiences and practical advice, we aim to highlight the importance of resilience, self-compassion, and the power of building a genuinely supportive community that goes beyond mere commiseration.

Chapters

• 0:12 Navigating Burnout
• 16:41 Developing a Supportive Community

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:12

I think it just takes one person to be the one who says, all right, guys, we're going to change the subject now. Right, like you've probably been in those conversations, even just with friends. Right, we're just going down this road, and then somebody steps in and is like, okay, all right, so tell me about that thing you did this weekend, you know, and like there has to be the, there has to be like one person who can just do it and maybe that's you, maybe that's me Like can you be that person? Can you empower yourself to be the one to just try to shift things, because somebody has to do it, or else it's never going to happen and you're just going to keep talking about the same things? How much.

Speaker 2: 1:01

I miss not knowing that we're all screwed. A few years ago, I started writing a fictitious story based on my time as an educator. It is called Taught, and the story was partially inspired out of anger and frustration fueled by burnout Okay, actually, it was more than partially inspired by anger and frustration fueled by burnout Okay, actually, it was more than partially inspired by anger and frustration. But taught has also become a vehicle for me to tell what I thought at the time and in some ways continue to think was and is the real story of teaching. I now realize that my perspective is not everyone's perspective, but there are some pieces of taught that resonated with many educators perspective. But there are some pieces of taught that resonated with many educators. This podcast is an extension of that story and I, a former teacher, will interview other educators, asking them to share how they really feel about the current state of education. Why are so many teachers burnout? Why are so many like me leaving the field? We likely won't solve any problems or come up with any solutions, but we can create a community of voices that maybe begin the conversation around how educators can take back teaching.

Speaker 2: 2:12

I'm Melissa LaFleur. Welcome to Taught, the podcast. I like to be educated, but I'm so frustrated. I am happy to announce that once again, my friend Amy Schamberg is with me, and we are going to continue talking about how educators can navigate their careers to avoid the pitfalls of chronic stress and burnout. If you don't know Amy yet, let me introduce her. Amy is a certified functional medicine health coach and works in wellness consultancy roles within educational programs throughout Colorado. She specializes in mental health, burnout recovery and holistic well-being, having experienced and recovered from her own episodes of burnout, amy is passionate about helping others build resilience and develop the confidence to prioritize themselves, and we are lucky to have her here, amy welcome back, hi, melissa.

Speaker 2: 3:12

Thank you, happy to be here again so up to this point, you and I have covered understanding chronic stress and burnout and how to identify them, building resilience to navigate our careers and lives and how to practice self-compassion. Today we're going to tackle building a community that helps us practice what we've been learning. So this topic is near and dear to my heart because I am afraid to report that I was not a great community member back in my teaching days and definitely not a great community member for my fellow burnout educators. Now. I firmly believe in you don't know what you don't know and I did not know what I needed to be doing back then. So I needed to do a lot of what you and I have talked about when I was teaching. So, in the spirit of you can only use the tools you have at the time you have them.

Speaker 2: 4:13

I'm not going to blame myself here, but having said that, I do want to say I was always invited to be one of those people that went to have the margaritas at the Mexican restaurant on the you know whatever it was the last Friday of the month for our building, and I sometimes was even the first person there, because that's where the really fun and I'm going to use the word bitching, because that's what it was. That's where the really fun bitching took place. And if everyone was not worked up when we got there, I was that person that could get us all worked up and ready to riot. So I covered everything in those sessions, from annoying colleagues to annoying students to stupid district policies. No solutions, just bitching. And if we couldn't make it to the mexican restaurant, I was always happy to host these sessions in my very own classroom after school.

Speaker 2: 5:12

And you know, if I'm being honest, some of that, I think, was necessary to keep my sanity, because I did need to vent some of that. And we don't have a lot of time as educators to really talk to each other, and sometimes we don't even know what's going on with one another because we go for days without seeing each other or talking. But more often than not, truly, I was more pissed and disgruntled and disheartened on my way home. You know, driving home after a day of school after I had had one of these sessions. So, amy, am I the only one that does this?

Speaker 1: 5:53

Absolutely not. And I have to say, by the way, kudos to you for practicing some self-compassion and not blaming yourself. That's amazing. And no, you're not the only one who does this, and educators are also not the only people who do this. Right, like I think that is so common for everyone to commiserate with their colleagues. Like that's what you bond over, right, you bond about the good things, but you also bond about over the things that are causing some distress, and that's just like human nature. So, to a point, you know, I think it's fine and normal and expected. But, excuse me, I think you hit on a really key point, which is when you were driving home from the Mexican restaurant and, you know, feeling kind of unhappy or not feeling like settled, or just kind of even more riled up. That's when we noticed that these sorts of vent fests are not helpful, because you know it's funny that you said Mexican restaurant, because that's where I used to meet my colleagues after work too.

Speaker 2: 7:01

I think we all did margaritas, chips and salsa my colleagues after work too.

Speaker 1: 7:06

I think we all get margaritas, Chips and salsa, yeah, and I can like distinctly remember being there with some of my favorite colleagues and, yeah, we just like gossiped and, you know, complained and. But when I left those like at the people that I'm thinking about I always like left with a smile on my face and I felt like, oh good, it felt so good to blow off that steam, Right, Like that felt good. And then I can think about some other times where I met with some other colleagues in a different place and it was a different group of them, so maybe that was part of it too. But like I can remember distinctly leaving those sessions or meetups or whatever you want to call it, just kind of feeling like defeated, like gosh man. This really does suck, you know. So I don't think that it's a yes or no. You should do this, you shouldn't. I think it's a check in with yourself and see how you're feeling afterwards.

Speaker 2: 7:58

Yeah, well, you know, it's interesting that you say that, because and you're right, not every time was one of these events for me, however. So I had about a 20-minute commute and I would continue the negative conversation in my head on the way home. I mean, it didn't stop at the Mexican restaurant If we had had a really good well, you just used a word that was much better than bitching. But if we had commiserating, if we had had a really good commiserating session, yeah, I would keep the conversation going all the way up to when I walked in the door and that was the energy I was bringing home to my family after being gone all day, and that did not feel good. Yeah, so does anything good come from from us getting together and complaining like that?

Speaker 1: 8:53

Yeah, I think that we have to look underneath the surface and see what is the root cause of a purpose of our complaining. Sometimes it's to feel validated, to make sure that we aren't the only ones experiencing this hardship, and that does feel good, because it sucks to feel isolated and feel like you're the only one. And, yeah, sometimes we do just need to blow off steam and have someone just listen and not give a solution, right? Because, as an example, I can think about sometimes when I just need to blow off steam and I'm venting to my husband and he's trying to give me solutions and I'm like I want your solutions, I want you to fix this. I just want you to shut up and listen, yes, yes, and so that's helpful sometimes, right?

Speaker 1: 9:40

So, in those two instances, feeling validated, feeling like we're not alone, um, and then just having someone to listen to us, that could be a helpful, um, or you know that is a positive outcome of kind of venting or complaining, um, and I think that it kind of just takes that turn when there's nothing that really feels supportive, that comes from that Like if I don't feel like there's been anything that makes me feel better, you know, like if we're just kind of like in this, like negativity, pessimistic, like this sucks victimhood thing. I don't see how that is helpful.

Speaker 2: 10:25

You're absolutely right, Because I think that if I think about some of those drives home afterwards, those were the conversations we had had where it felt like the issues we talked about whether we were validated in those issues or not, maybe were ones that didn't have clear-cut solutions, and yet we spent hours talking about them and a lot of times, I think, we didn't talk about anything else.

Speaker 2: 10:54

I can say I had friends who I spent lots of hours doing that with and I knew very little about other things in their lives or positive things that they had going on. And it's interesting that you also use the word isolated, because I think hopefully I was not already there, only my former colleagues would know. But I think maybe I was headed down the path to becoming one of those jaded teachers there's usually at least one in every building, sometimes more than that that no one wants to be around because they are never not negative, and I did not want to be that because I think that is isolating. I know that I avoided those people. So it's coming full circle here. We vent and commiserate because we want to be validated and we don't want to feel isolated, but at some point I know for myself I crossed that boundary into potentially being someone that no one wanted to be around because I was doing too much of that no-transcript.

Speaker 1: 12:16

Yes, but first I have to say, melissa, I can't even picture you as a negative person that no one wants to be around Like. That does not work in my brain at all. So I think you're being a little hard on yourself.

Speaker 2: 12:32

Anybody out there that worked with me that would like to come on and correct this assumption. Please come on.

Speaker 1: 12:40

I can't imagine that that was ever true. But yeah, so how can we develop a strong, supportive community? Where can we feel safe, sharing our challenges, but also not get stuck? I think it just takes one person to be the one who says, all right, guys, we're going to change the subject now. Right, like you've probably been in those conversations, even just with friends, right, where, like, we're just going down this road and then somebody steps in and is like okay, all right, so tell me about that thing you did this weekend, you know, and like there has to be the, there has to be like one person who can just do it and maybe that's you, maybe that's me Like can, can you be that person? Can you empower yourself to be the one to just try to to shift things, because somebody has to do it or else it's never going to happen and you're just going to keep talking about the same things? You're right.

Speaker 2: 13:38

Yeah, Actually, as you're saying this, somebody came to my mind. So I worked in a building and there was and she listens to the podcast, I think. So I'm just going to use her first name. Her name is Lisa, and I'm not saying Lisa didn't have her own share of things that she got upset about, but she was also. I don't know that she was somebody who said, okay, guys, let's switch the topic, but she was somebody that would say, hmm, let's back up a minute. I know we're really upset about this, but here's this good thing about this situation too, and she had a really, just a really good knack for letting us feel heard but also being able to kind of shift the situation just a little bit so that you could see it in a less negative light, and that usually, at least for me, worked really well. And I got to tell you that woman's office door people were coming and going all the time. I don't think she had an enemy and I think that's why.

Speaker 1: 14:56

Yeah, I love that. It sounds like she was very good at listening, active listening and validating and letting you share your experience and then helping to kind of reframe or just shift the perspective a little bit or invite you to consider what a shift in perspective would even look like what even look like? Yeah, yeah, exactly I think she was a little bit solutions focused as well, but in a in a come alongside way Right, exactly, exactly.

Speaker 1: 15:32

And so we talked a while ago in a conversation about being boat rockers, rocking the boat I think that was with our group, right, and it's like this is a wonderful opportunity for someone to rock the boat, to be a salmon and swim upstream, right, like, what can you do differently to help your colleagues? And think about it as like helping others. It's so hard sometimes to do something that makes us feel a little scared or outside of our comfort zone, right when we're just thinking about ourselves. But if, like if, the question for this conversation right now is what can we do to shift conversation so that they are a bit more helpful or solutions oriented? Well, the answer is you can rock the boat a little bit and do exactly what you just described your former colleague doing Come alongside, you know, listen and validate and then help reframe or shift or invite that consideration so that it can not just continue down this, you know, negative path.

Speaker 2: 16:41

Yeah, I love that because I think sometimes I have been in situations where people have tried to do that, but they'll say things like guys, I'm not talking about this today.

Speaker 1: 16:52

And so then they didn't listen and reframe they just said, they set a boundary, but it wasn't very kind reframe.

Speaker 2: 17:03

They just said a boundary, but it wasn't very kind and and then you feel a little shame, you know, for for bringing up the topic. So listen and reframe and then shift the topic in a way that can be more supportive to the group.

Speaker 1: 17:16

Yeah, validate too, right. Like, yeah, this is hard, right, this sounds. Or, if you're not part of that situation that your colleague is describing, you can just validate. For them, that sounds really hard. I wonder how we might feel a little bit better about this. I always talk to my clients about this 2% change. What is something that you can do to just feel 2% better? Because when things are so heavy and overwhelming and you feel so stuck or stressed or burnt out, it can be really difficult to find a solution, especially when the problems are systemic and really large. But we all have a capability of doing something that helps us feel 2% better, of doing something that helps us feel 2% better, right?

Speaker 2: 18:01

That is so true. I think what I am going to do because I still have contact with quite a few of my education friends and we still talk about all this stuff I think I'm gonna make myself a little note card For me. It's easy because everything's on Zoom for me and I'm just going to have some little bullet points of what you said. You know, the first, listen, reframe, validate and shift the conversation if I can, and some little we teachers we love sentence stems you know, things that.

Speaker 2: 18:38

so that way I can practice it, because I'm I can be very reactive and I think if I have that, I can practice that.

Speaker 1: 18:47

So that will be my 2%.

Speaker 2: 18:49

Amy, that's going to be my 2% shift.

Speaker 1: 18:52

I love it and I am right there with you. I need to have things on sticky notes, or else I don't remember them All my strategies or positive affirmations or like whatever my intention is, you know the gratitude, all the things. If I don't like actually write it down and put it somewhere that I can see, then it's like I forget it, you know.

Speaker 2: 19:09

Me too, and especially if it's a conversation like that, I'm going to want to dip into old patterns.

Speaker 1: 19:15

Yes.

Speaker 2: 19:15

This will give me the opportunity to practice because I think, yeah, go ahead. I would think it. It gets a little easier the more you practice. Go ahead A hundred percent.

Speaker 1: 19:26

I was just going to add one final piece. When we were asking you know how can we kind of stay a bit positive? Or you know how do we kind of balance the complaining or venting or bitching and I know that this is going to get so many eye rolls, I'm acknowledging it right now. Before I say it, I get you. It's okay, you can roll your eyes, you can shake your head, but this is research based, practicing gratitude. So bringing to mind something that you appreciate or something that's going well, and speaking it out loud, can help to counter the negativity, and research shows that we really need five positives to one negative. You've probably heard this when it comes to working with kids in your classroom.

Speaker 2: 20:17

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 20:19

I also have started doing some relationship coaching recently and have learned through my research on like figuring out how to kind of support some of these clients that it's the same thing in relationships with a partner. So one negative needs to be counteracted by five positives in order to neutralize it. And if you kind of think about it, think about if you got a new haircut and you saw three people and those three people were telling you oh my gosh, you look amazing. Oh, what'd you do? That looks great, you know, oh, I love your new hairstyle.

Speaker 1: 20:55

And then you see the fourth person and maybe they, maybe it's your, you know a family member or somebody and they're like gosh, what did you do to your hair? I thought I don't know about that. Right, that just wipes away all of those other three compliments. It does, it really does so. So keep that in mind. Keep that in mind. But when it comes to commiserating, if we want to leave the Mexican restaurant feeling okay, we need to leave on on like expressing the things that we are grateful for or the things that are going well.

Speaker 2: 21:31

Woo wee, you know that would have been a lot. I would have had like 10,000 positives that I needed to say to counteract some of those not so nice things I said, and gratitude around things education-wise I could always think of student things that I still, to this day, am very grateful for.

Speaker 1: 22:14

So it's also kind of for me an easy area to find things to be grateful for. Okay, well, and I would also say that practicing gratitude as a way to counteract the negativity of, or like the negative feelings that arise when we are commiserating, doesn't necessarily have to be work related. Is there anything else? Anything? What about like in your, within your family? Or did you like go for a walk today and you're proud of yourself for that? Or did you manage to, you know, go to bed on time last night? Or you know like it could be anything and it doesn't have to be yes.

Speaker 2: 22:53

Well, and as educators, if they did either of those things before we had our Friday session, they would probably be very grateful for them, exactly, okay. So my final question. I think you've kind of already answered it, but let's just do a little recap what are your tips for developing? Because it sounds like to me this is kind of a community approach, I mean, you're doing it for yourself, but you're also doing it for your colleagues, and I think that I would probably, like I said, without knowing that this is what I was doing, I sought out Lisa a lot over other colleagues, because there was something in me that knew Lisa was going to make me feel better.

Speaker 2: 23:37

I was going to walk away from my conversations with her feeling better than if I went to other people. So what are your tips for developing a strong supportive community, but also a community that we feel safe being, you know, honest about our struggles with.

Speaker 1: 23:59

Yeah, I mean, when I think about what a safe community means, it's people that you trust, people that have your back, shared interests, people that bring you joy, those that, when you are with you, feel a little bit lighter and feel a little bit more optimistic. Feel a little bit more optimistic. And it's interesting Gallup, the company that's been around forever and has done a ton of studies and created a ton of workplace well-being surveys, has found through their research that having a strong community or friendships within your workplace is one of the strongest indicators of overall wellbeing. Because we spend so much of our time at work, if you think about it right, I mean we are there, we're often with our colleagues more than we are with our family members, like waking hours.

Speaker 2: 24:56

Right, yeah, yeah, well and I'm thinking that was one of the things we talked about with burnout as well is that well-being piece, those things that bring us joy, and community is one of them.

Speaker 1: 25:28

And I guess a tip for developing a strong community is perhaps thinking about how we can be supportive to our community members, not just what can I get from my support system, what can I get from my community, but how can I uplift my community as well.

Speaker 1: 25:46

And just asking ourselves that question, you know, is it bringing our friend or colleague like? I'm thinking about a colleague that I work with who had never like solo parented and her husband had to travel for a week and she was like alone with her kids and she had never done that before and it was really difficult for her. And so another colleague brought her like this little care basket of like I don't know, like craft mac and cheese, like all these, like easy dinners to make. She's like I don't even know what I'm going to make dinner for the kids. You know, it was just some simple thing like that and it just it was helpful for her, but it also made her feel supported, you know. So just like little things or whatever it might be, that's just. That's an example. But I think that one of my tips for developing a strong community is to think about how you can also contribute to that community.

Speaker 2: 26:34

And I think that you've kind of answered this in a couple of areas for us today, which is that going in and making sure that you have those positives for any negatives that come up in those margarita conversations. I think for me, if I'm prepared, if I go in saying, okay, I got this situation going on in my classroom with this kiddo, I know I'm going to talk about this tonight and it's not going to be pretty.

Speaker 2: 27:05

So what are some of the positives that I can bring into this conversation too, because I do need to feel supported. I do need to feel validated that I have this going on, but I also want to make sure that I'm not walking away making everybody else feel down and negative.

Speaker 1: 27:26

I love that. That's so true, and I think that what you're alluding to really is something we've talked about previously, which is self-awareness, or some might call it mindfulness. Some may roll their eyes at the word mindfulness, and so we're going to call it self-awareness right now, but it's really just asking yourself how do I feel, what do I need and how do I want to feel, right?

Speaker 2: 27:51

Yep, I like it. Okay, so we are all going to turn these conversations around right Fellow educators, or at least start practicing the process. That is all that I have for us today. So, amy, thank you once again for being here.

Speaker 1: 28:11

Thank you for having me. I love these conversations so much.

Speaker 2: 28:21

Today's episode was produced and edited by me. The theme music is by Otis McDonald featuring Joni Ines. If you know someone who might enjoy these conversations, please share the podcast episodes as much and as often as you can. It's as simple as copying the link you use to access today's episode and sending it in a message or sharing it on social media. I'm a small, independent operation and your shares broaden our audience. Perhaps you or someone you know will be inspired to talk about teacher burnout. If you would like to get your voice on my podcast, contact me via the link on my webpage, totbuzzsproutcom. Coach, speaker and author Rashid Ogunlaro said it may take many voices for people to hear the same message. Join me in being one of the many voices rising up to get the message out around educator burnout. This is Melissa LaFleur. Thank you for listening to TAUGHT the podcast.

Speaker 2: 29:26

I have an important reminder. Slash disclaimer to share. The views, thoughts and opinions expressed by the hosts and guests on this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organization, employer or company. Content provided on this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as professional advice. We encourage you to do your own research and consult with qualified professionals before making any decisions based on the information discussed in this or any other episode. Additionally, any opinions or statements made during the podcast are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company or individual Listener. Discretion is advised. Thank you for tuning in.