Taught: The Podcast
Taught is a podcast where educators and others discuss how they really feel about education, burnout, and strategies to make the world and education burnout-free.
Taught: The Podcast
From Perfectionist to Excellence: Reclaiming Your Life After Burnout
When Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell collapsed from exhaustion, her six-year-old daughter found her, covered her with a Disney princess blanket, and whispered goodnight. That moment should have been rock bottom. But like so many high-achievers, Lynita took a long weekend and went right back to her impossible schedule – until stage four endometriosis and fibroids the size of grapefruits forced her to confront the truth about burnout.
This powerful conversation explores the perfectionism trap that educators and professionals fall into. "Perfection is living up to someone else's standards," Lynita explains, while "excellence creates your own standards based on grace." For Lynita, that perfectionism manifested as a seven-page, single-spaced list of commitments that ultimately stole her health, strained her relationships, and disrupted her joy.
We share our educator burnout experiences, revealing how institutional structures like teacher evaluations deliberately keep teachers striving for impossible standards – "hungry and on the hamster wheel craving more." Together, we unpack how burnout isn't simply an individual failing but rather a systemic issue embedded in our workplaces and cultural expectations.
The heart of this episode is Lynita's recovery framework, developed through her two-year journey back from burnout. She outlines practical strategies starting with embracing silence, learning proper breathing techniques, and practicing meditation. Her simple but profound rule? "Whenever something rolls onto your plate, something else has to roll off." This boundary prevents the endless accumulation of responsibilities that characterizes burnout.
Ready to break free from the burnout cycle? Listen now, share with colleagues who are struggling, and remember: the goal is to live an excellent life, not a perfect one.
Contact Lynita:
www.LynitaMitchellBlackwell.com
Season 1 :
Join the Conversation: https://taughtbymelef.blogspot.com/
Interested in being a guest on the podcast? Email promelef@gmail.com. Include your name, role in education, and a summary of your story.
Here's the book that started it all:
Taught: The Very Private Journal of One Bad Teacher
Available @ Amazon in ebook or audio:
https://a.co/d/1rNZ84h
For immediate help use link for resources:
https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health
Other resources:
Amy Schamberg Wellness: https://www.amyschamberg.com/about
NHS - Resources for Grief and Burnout
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/grief-bereavement-loss/
Melissa Anthony MA, LPC Trauma & Grief Counselor
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/melissa-j-anthony-grand-rapids-mi/944381
um. So, as I said, it took me two years. I hired a performance coach, rowena silveira beck, and she had me list everything I was involved in and it was seven pages, single space, legal size paper, not letter. And for many of you who are like moms, you have a long list too, and I'm going to tell you why, because it's not that you're just a mom, particularly when your children are small, you are also carpool, you are the nutritionist, you are the doctor, you are the bedtime and cleanup general, right, you are the entertainment specialist. You have all these roles and responsibilities. How much I miss, not knowing that we're all screwed.
Speaker 2:A few years ago, I started writing a fictitious story based on my time as an educator. It is called Taught, and the story was partially inspired out of anger and frustration fueled by burnout. Okay, actually, it was more than partially inspired by anger and frustration fueled by burnout. Okay, actually, it was more than partially inspired by anger and frustration. But taught has also become a vehicle for me to tell what I thought at the time and in some ways continue to think was and is the real story of teaching. I now realize that my perspective is not everyone's perspective, but there are some pieces of taught that resonated with many educators perspective, but there are some pieces of taught that resonated with many educators. This podcast is an extension of that story and I, a former teacher, will interview other educators, asking them to share how they really feel about the current state of education. Why are so many teachers burnout? Why are so many like me leaving the field? We likely won't solve any problems or come up with any solutions, but we can create a community of voices that maybe begin the conversation around how educators can take back teaching. I'm Melissa LaFleur. Welcome to Taught the podcast. I like to be educated.
Speaker 2:I am pleased to have today's guest, lenita Mitchell-Blackwell Esquire, joining us to chat about burnout today. Lenita and I have a common friend who introduced us and as soon as I met her, I knew that this was someone who understood burnout and took it seriously. Lenita is a public speaker, coach and author, as well as an attorney and a CPA. Like many of us who find ourselves in burnout, she is a bit of an overachiever. It led her into a health crisis and, finally, the many hats and roles that she was taking on were affecting her health. Today, lenita is going to share her personal story and how she was able to recover her health and take back her life better in a manageable and fulfilling way. Lenita, thank you so much for coming on the podcast.
Speaker 1:Melissa, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2:That was a beautiful introduction and it summed up how we connected as soul sisters over burnout and how we have had to take some drastic steps to ensure that we don't go back down that path about your story is it does match mine in how sneakily our bodies absorb stress and react to it, and we I don't want to make this a women's issue, but I do think as women, we have a tendency to say, oh, it's just my period, or for me, for years it was, I'm in menopause. I was in menopause for 15 years. You know it was, ah, perimenopause. That's what's causing this. It was really hard for me to connect those dots, so I'm excited that you're gonna help us do that today.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you, it will be my pleasure. We'll work through it together. How about?
Speaker 2:that Okay, that sounds good.
Speaker 1:So tell me a little bit about you, absolutely so, as you've already mentioned my various roles professionally attorney, cpa speaker, six-time best-selling author. Personally, wife, mom, daughter, and so part of the sandwich generation, part of the sandwich generation, and I will also just add human, having a spiritual experience and doing the best she can with what she knows now. Because I tell you, melissa, if I had the opportunity to talk to my younger self, I would tell her to stop focusing so much on being perfect and focus instead on being excellent. And the difference between the two is that perfection is living up to someone else's standards, someone else who may have loved, cared about and wanted the best things for her. For me as a young person, still they were someone else's hopes, dreams and aspirations for me. And, by definition, when you are living up to someone else's standards, then you are trying to be perfect.
Speaker 1:And that is actually what led to the burnout, the sleepless nights, the saying yes to projects that were way outside of my wheelhouse, to always feeling that I had to be everything everywhere all at once, to everyone, and then not really being able to be present, and the health issues that came from that. It started off with the physical when you were talking about menopause, I so. I so relate to that, because my hair started breaking off and all I did was start wearing wigs and my nails started splitting. I knew every nail tech in town who was excellent, and my skin started to deteriorate and all I did was learn how to do my makeup like these amazing Instagram girls. Right, and it really was not until I passed out from exhaustion and my daughter found me like that and at the time she was only six and, like many people, I knew something needed to change, but I didn't know what, and so that actually was the kickoff to my journey Figuring out how to change, what needed to change and how to stay in that rhythm, that path.
Speaker 2:Because it's a skill. Onto that road of recovery, you realize that if you don't continue to do the things that you need to do in recovery, you end up back in the same place.
Speaker 1:Absolutely correct. Absolutely correct. And that's what happened, because when my daughter found me like that, it was horrifying because thankfully she was small enough that she didn't realize I wasn't getting up because I couldn't. She just thought I was tired, and so she got her Disney princess's blanket off of her bed and she put it on me and she took one of her little pillows and put it under my head and kissed me on the forehead and said good night, mama. And the only thing that I could say was good night, baby.
Speaker 1:I could not put my child to bed and you know, as a mom that's already devastating. But you know, we have our routines and I used to read her stories. My husband and I, we would do that together, and then we would tuck her in. And so to not have even had the strength to do that, that really hurt me. But I didn't know what else to do other than, well, I just need to take a break, and so I.
Speaker 1:I took a long weekend and when I felt better, all I did was go back to what I was doing before. Um, and it was not until I developed stage four endometriosis, which is the uncontrolled growth of uterine cells outside of the uterus and fibroids the size of grapefruits, that I was like, oh, I'm going to have to do something different. Because when the doctors took one look literally, Melissa they opened me up to do the surgery and they just had to close me back up and they waited until I woke up from the anesthesia and they gave me the news. They were just like we couldn't do the surgery because it was much worse than we thought. It was worse than anything the medications to burn as much off the mental, emotional and spiritual to find someone who could help me to stop with this trading my self-esteem for these accolades and achievements Because that's really what was happening If I didn't hear Lenita you're amazing, oh my gosh, I'm so glad to have you on my team Then I would just do more so that I would get that.
Speaker 1:And just like any other addiction, you know, it takes more and more for you to get the same result, or the same feeling, that same high. And I tell people, Melissa, I don't necessarily regret my journey because it brought me here today to be able to share this and be transparent and help more people. But if I did have the opportunity to go back and just walk my younger self through. I wouldn't necessarily say don't do the things. I would just say those things cannot replace self-love, self-care and your self-esteem.
Speaker 2:And that's what it would be.
Speaker 2:That is so true and I think again. I think females tend to push ourselves a little bit harder and put ourselves kind of at the end of the priority list pretty easily, and we live in a culture that says we're doing a good job when we do that, so and it it does. I also am a perfectionist and so I also enjoy those pats on the back and when I'm not getting them. In the past I don't have this going on as much, but definitely when I was still in my career as a teacher I felt like if I wasn't getting those, then I must not be doing something correctly. So I needed to do more, right?
Speaker 1:And you know you really hit on something about how society has led us down this role of if we take care of everyone else, then eventually we will get what we need and the what we need. Someone else has determined what that is, and that is recognition and reward, but what we really need is love and we have to start with ourself and the idea of self-prioritization and empowerment. It sounds so foreign as a matter of fact, for many people it sounds selfish. But we've all heard the analogy that you can't pour from an empty cup.
Speaker 1:Well, that's what we're asking people to do and, as you said, specifically women to do is if I take care of my life partner, if I take care of my children, if I do well at work, if I serve in my community and my faith based organization, that everybody telling me what a wonderful job I'm doing and lifting me on this pedestal as the the epitome of womanhood, then that will be enough. And it's not because we've not taken the time to appreciate who we are, what we are and how we serve. As Paul Selleck says so eloquently, we have to learn to appreciate us without all the stuff, and that is a journey. It takes time to do that For me it took about two years. I now work with people, so that doesn't take that long, but it really depends on how far down the rabbit hole you are. And that's the truth.
Speaker 2:I think you're right and I think I'm just thinking, as you're talking about some of my experiences as an educator and I grew up in the Midwest I also think sometimes where you come from makes a little bit of a difference in your association with what you should do and how that should look. But you know, teaching is a female-dominated profession. We won't go down the many rabbit holes associated with that. But, as you're saying, this one of the things I feel like there are so many structures that are in place that kind of create a culture of burnout, and one of the things that came to my mind when you were saying you know all of these things that you feel you have to serve For teachers, we get an evaluation, usually yearly some sort, and there's a rubric that goes along with it. So you know you're going to have to meet these metrics and you're going to be judged accordingly.
Speaker 1:Yes, you're going to be judged accordingly.
Speaker 2:Yes, you want to get all the way over here to whatever it is, exemplary, professional. You know, queen of teaching, that's where you're trying to get to. And I remember sitting in an evaluation and having an administrator say to me you know, you keep landing in the slot right before queen teacher, and here's what you need Before queen teacher. You said, yeah, I could not get over it. They didn't call it queen teacher, I'm calling it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but yeah, it's like I couldn't move over and it just drove me crazy. And he said well, there's this one little. He said well, there's this one little area here where it says that you need to be bridging your classroom with the community, and that's the piece that's missing here. And I said I don't even know how I'm supposed to do this. He said well, you know, you could put together some community initiatives for having community members come in to you know, do these things in education, or you're taking your kids out and you're serving the community.
Speaker 2:And I just remember sitting there thinking I'm working 60 to 70 hours a week. Right now I have a class of 35 sixth graders packed like sardines into a classroom and I'm supposed to be. Where does this time, where does this come from? And feeling that devaluation that comes from I'm never going to be queen teacher. I'm never going to be queen teacher. Wow, you know I'm never going to get there. And I just think that is when you were saying we've got to get our heads right and figure out what is going to bring us peace and joy and love and hope and harmony and all of those things that we crave. It didn't that evaluation wasn't part of it. That evaluation just made me feel worse.
Speaker 1:And you know, melissa, we don't talk about this, but this is the truth. Those evaluations are not supposed to make you feel good. They're supposed to keep you hungry and keep you on the hamster wheel craving more. Because the moment that we have a mass awakening that it was never going to work, this whole rush for cars, cash, clothes was never going to satisfy what you really wanted, which was peace, joy and fulfillment. We would have people quitting en masse. They would change their entire way of living, thinking and being and, honestly, our society is just not set up for that. Our society is set up for people to go on these jobs, work them for an extended period of time, building up someone else's hopes and dreams, and then to go off Now, if that going off includes being retired or finally building your own empire. But during your working years, the system is set up for you to stay hungry, and that's just the truth of it.
Speaker 2:Yep, we've got some other systems that are feeding into that one too, like buying a house for a 30 year mortgage that you have.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:We're going to need to have our own podcast is going to be the Lenita and Melissa show.
Speaker 1:I'm down. Just let me know when you're ready, sister.
Speaker 2:And I think maybe we should call it DEI, by the way, because I think that, speaking of the housing system and the education, okay, but I'm going to stop there, I will cut this out. See, that's what I'm telling you.
Speaker 1:That was good.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, I'm going to get us back on track and actually you've already alluded to this, but I want to hear, I want to, I want to hear your words around it, because I think you have a really interesting perspective on what is fueling burnout, not just for teachers but for everyone. Can you share that with us?
Speaker 1:Absolutely. It is this pursuit of this perfect life instead of the excellent one. So I started off earlier talking about what perfect is living up to someone else's expectations. So now let's shift and talk about the excellent life. See, this is when you take control of your narrative, when you realize that the people in your life, they taught you the best that they could with what they knew. We thank them, and then we realize that we've got to make a different choice and we create our own standards, and that is one that is based on grace, with an understanding that what my greatness looks like today is going to look different from 10 years from now, and I really hope it is very different from what it was 10 years ago.
Speaker 1:It understands that we go through life, we go through changes. Our mission, vision, value, the overarching is the same, but how we're going to accomplish those things, they will need to shift. If you're a wife and a mom, you have other people to take into consideration, so you may not have the freedoms that a person who does not have those obligations has. If you have parents who are relying on you because they are older, you don't have the same freedom as a person who does not have that obligation. So you have to take those things into consideration when we're talking about setting goals and being strategic, about accomplishing our life purpose and mission. And I'm saying this because during my time of going through the wilderness, I wasn't taking any of that into consideration. My daughter was. I remember my daughter was four years old, my mother had brain surgery, my husband was passing a church that was, at that time, three hours from our home each way, and yet I was still managing my law firm, managing my accounting firm. I was president of two non-profit organizations at the time. Plus, I had the roles of being wife, mom and caretaker for my mother. And I was not building oh I'm sorry and I was training to run a marathon, so all these things.
Speaker 1:But did you hear me say anything about taking something off my plate? No, I was just gathering stuff. Oh, look at me, look at me juggle. And it was such a disservice to not just myself but to anybody who was watching me. Because the thing about us, melissa, and people like us, is we make it look really easy and people are just like how does she do it? I don't understand what's wrong with me, not why is she doing that? That is crazy and something needs to change. That that is crazy and something needs to change. And that is an incredible disservice. And so, when we fall apart, instead of being honest and upfront about it, we go and hide and we call it vacation, but really what it is is we've collapsed, we're in the hospital, we are trying to get ourselves together because we're a hot mess right now, and I will tell you, if you want to avoid all of that, it's just one thing, and it has served me in these years since I came to this Whenever something rolls onto your plate, something else has to roll off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the rule. Period, point blank. So you look at everything that's on your plate. There should not be anything on the plate that is not consistent with your life purpose. Not, that's not positive, because at this point in our lives, we know how to stay away from mess. Right, I'm talking about things that are inconsistent or do not add value to where we're going. That's got to go. And then, when opportunities come because I'm telling you, you're going to be a magnet for abundance, prosperity and all the good things they're always going to be coming to you you can't say yes to everything, whatever. You say yes to something else has to go, and unless until you're willing to release something, you can't bring it on, because otherwise you're going to go right back into that old life.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 2:So you know, when I got to Portugal, I thought okay, so here's the solution. You just move countries, you know? I don't know what anybody's saying. They're speaking Portuguese, I'm speaking English, but I'm going to have this time to myself. And it did not take me. I think it took me six months and I edited my book. I decided to make it an audio book.
Speaker 2:I was working almost as much as when I was a teacher and I found the work. And then my husband was the one that said to me wow, I thought you were going to be less stressed. And I said oh, I am less stressed. You can't tell that I'm less stressed. And you saying this made me think of another thing I was, I'm a complainer. And you saying this made me think of another thing I was, I'm a complainer, I own it.
Speaker 2:I like to complain but not really do anything about it. And so I was complaining to a friend of mine when I was still teaching. I said I don't understand Everybody else. You know they come to me, they want me to take over this committee or they want me to do this, and I don't understand. And she said Melissa, you come across as very capable. You never come across as someone who is like what you're saying, my plate is full, please, please, find someone else. And I thought that's a little dose of truth that I needed, that when you are presenting capable, then people think they can give you more that you can handle it.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, and that is living up to someone else's standards as well. This whole feeling of I can't say no for those listening. You must. You must say no For your own health and well-being, for the people who are counting on you and looking up to you. You have to say no.
Speaker 2:You do and you took us through your burnout story of a very good idea of how you got there. I have a very good idea of how you got there. So one of the things that you had mentioned in your questionnaire is that when you were there, the strain it took on the personal relationships in your life. Can you speak a little bit about that? Absolutely.
Speaker 1:So in every area area there was strain. So I was taking on all these roles and responsibilities, and anybody who has served in leadership knows that there is a financial obligation to that as well. So it was a strain on our homes, our household finances that my husband because he's a wonderful man was very supportive of. Even when it was just impossible, he still made a way right. It was a strain on my relationship with my parents, because they really needed me to be more engaged than what I was, and I was resentful because I'm just like I'm finally here where I want to be and I'm being pulled in a thousand directions. But you know, once your parents hit a certain age, you know, or you should have some idea of what is about to come. So there needs to be some planning for them and that role. So there was strain there.
Speaker 1:It was strain with my siblings, because my sister came home from the Navy and with the idea that she would live in Atlanta and be able to go to school here.
Speaker 1:And this was about the time that my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer.
Speaker 1:He has recovered, he's doing great now, but you know, instead of being able to be here with the family, she had to go home to Miami to be with him, and so you know there was a strain in our relationship there because that was not the plan, not the plan at all, but I was not in a position, or mentally or practically, to be more of a help with him.
Speaker 1:There was a strain with my own child because I was gone so much. She was constantly with other people, people of trust in our circle, family and friends only, but still she was my baby, or worse, most of the time I was dragging her along with me to many other places and while she got to see mama in action, we didn't have a whole lot of time that I look back, we should have spent more time at the park and just sitting at the soda stream and and laughing and talking, and that that's something that I wish that I had, something I am grateful to know because now I am very, very zealous in guarding our time together, especially since now she'll be going off to college in less than six months and that is just like, oh my gosh, congratulations.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you, thank you. Yeah, you know, for anybody listening to, I think if you're a working mom, you can relate to this. Those it usually we're at the end of a phase. Right now, my daughter, before you realize, right, and right now my daughter is 11, getting ready to turn 12. To turn 12.
Speaker 2:And you know, over the holidays this Christmas, I really noticed that just the things that she used to enjoy doing with her dad and I, she just she'd prefer to spend with her friends. Now, you know she will doesn't care about going and seeing the Christmas lights as much as she does seeing her friends. And so you're usually at the end of these moments when you're like, wow, okay, I didn't realize that this was going to go away, and then that little piece is gone. But what I was going to say for you working moms out there listening, it's okay, we've all been there, but you do have exactly what Lenita is saying. You have this moment to start. Even if now I have an 11, almost 12-year-old, but I also have a 29-year-old and a 34-year-old, and even if you have that 29-year-old or that 34-year-old, there are still moments to be had. There are still moments to be had, so you can have those.
Speaker 1:Well said, well said.
Speaker 2:It's we girl moms. I hear a lot about boy moms. Actually, I don't even know why people do that. Just moms in general, we, those kids, mean everything to us. So so we have. We have gotten you. We know how you got to burnout. The exciting part is that you were. You were not doing well physically and you realized something had to change. So can you start your story there, because it's a pretty amazing recovery story and you've put together some pretty amazing things to help others of us.
Speaker 1:Thank you. So, as I said, it took me two years. I hired a performance coach, rowena Silvera Beck, and she had me list everything I was involved in, and it was seven pages, single space, oh, legal size paper, not letter. And for many of you who are like moms, you have a long list too, and I'm going to tell you why, because it's not that you're just a mom, particularly when your children are small, you are also carpool, you are the nutritionist, you are the doctor, you are the bedtime and cleanup general, right, you are the entertainment specialist. You have all these roles and responsibilities and that's just as your mom. If you have a life partner, you have a list. You have a business, you surely have a list. If you have more than one business, you have a list. You're serving in various roles and responsibilities in your community organizations as well as your faith based organizations. You have pages too. And so what we did is we took it step by step and we whittled that list down from seven pages to two, and we committed to that list would not get any longer than that, and so whenever I see myself kind of veering off, I come back to center, because I realized that that is what is going to get me back in trouble, and for many of you I suspect that you can relate to this as well it's not that that life was so bad. It was actually really cool and it got you a lot of the stuff that you wanted right. But it also got you into the place that you were in, where there was strain and there was stress and anxiety and pain and hurt and sometimes even depression, and so that's what we're staying away from, and so I developed a process, a rubric in my latest book Live Life on Fire, the ultimate guide to a successful life full of peace, joy and fulfillment, that will allow you to continue to enjoy what you work for, to make space for more to come, but for you to live in a way that says I appreciate these things, but they don't define me.
Speaker 1:And so the first is to really embrace silence as your partner and friend. In our society, we are not taught to do that. We are taught to always have something going, to be ready with a prepared response, to always be ready to be on a stage like that, to be thinking about what is next in our day, and so it is hard for us to quiet the mind and just be us, to quiet the mind and just be. But we have to learn to do that, to embrace our own company and to be grateful for where we are right now, which leads into the second, which is to learn how to do that, which is by breathing, and the third, meditating. I do them together because sometimes you have to start by just learning how to take deep breaths, not those shallow breaths that stay up here in the lungs, in the chest area, but the ones that get down into the womb area, because breathing clears out your body and it helps settle your mind. And one thing that I learned to do was to also balance the right and left brain, the hemispheres of the brain, and that's, you just take your thumb and place it on your right nostril and you breathe in, and then you take these two fingers, your middle finger and your ring finger, and put them on your left nostril and just keep alternating, breathing, and then eventually, things will settle down and now you're in a place where you can meditate, and meditating is just being quiet.
Speaker 1:I like to say, after Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, he used to say that praying is talking to God and meditating is listening, and my grandmother used to say you have two ears and one mouth, so you should be doing twice as much listening as you do talking. So you put your prayers and your petitions out, and now it's time to sit quiet and listen to what spirit has to say for you, or the God of your understanding, and just be silent, to breathe and just listen, and sometimes you won't hear anything at all. But you know what that's love too just being able to sit into that. Once we're able to do those things, we can now move into flow, and flow allows us now to take our gifts, our skills, our talent, our expertise and work in excellence with them. So now we are doing the job that we love, or a job that we just kind of like, but doing it very well. We are learning how to deal with people just as they are and even when they are behaving very badly, we're able to see past the pettiness and to see the love in that person's heart and speak directly to that, so that our words are not harsh or not as harsh as they could be because you know it's a growing process and to be able to mentor and coach other people and to be a shining light wherever we go, we can be the whisper or the roar in the room, as Jill Flowers would say.
Speaker 1:These things allow us to go into life with a joy that is transformational. It allows our voices to be heard even when we are not speaking loudly. It allows our presence to be strong Even when we're just sitting in the back of the room, and allows people to remember our names and rooms that we don't even know exist. I can say these things, melissa, because they have all happened to me. I did not lose a thing by releasing that old way of thinking, that perfectionist thinking that led me to burnout. What I have gained is peace. I have gained forgiveness and grace for myself and others, and I have gained an appreciation for my life and my relationships that I just did not have before. That I just did not have before, and it's not to say I did not love those things, but now, the amount of gratitude and thanksgiving that I have for them, I don't even know if there are words that can describe them it just feels good.
Speaker 2:It's a whole different experience, isn't it? I mean, you're experiencing life differently now.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, so we live in Portugal and we live in a medium-sized city. It's not a huge city, but we live kind of by a busy road and I can hear the traffic most of the time. It's traffic most of the time, but we walk a lot of places and every once in a while we'll turn down a road and we'll be walking and I will notice all of a sudden that everything is silent. And here we are in the middle of the city, but all of a sudden we're in silence and you can't hear any cars and you don't hear any of the city noises. And I see that street differently in that moment.
Speaker 2:And so what you are saying is resonating with me on a soul level. I can envision for myself what you're talking about. So you did this, you built everything back up, and one of the things that you mentioned is that you went to a coach, and I have to say I feel like part of my perfectionistic behavior is also I still have a lot of. I got this. I will figure it out, I will research. You know, google. I like to say I've gotten many doctorates from Google. You know I know how to medicate myself in many areas, I think.
Speaker 2:But there is something so profound about finding someone who is doing what you want and sitting down and getting advice from them, and there are a lot of people out there doing a lot of coaching services and I really feel like this is a good thing. But you also have to be careful with it, because you need, just like, a therapist right? You're not going to. Not every therapist is going to be a good match, that's right. Not every life coach or whatever kind of coach you're seeing is going to be a good match for you either, but you were able to find somebody that was that match for you.
Speaker 2:I just spoke with somebody else who found someone that was a match for them for time management, and they were saying, oh my gosh, this changed my life. I went to this person and they said and I said I like how you live your life, tell me how you're doing it. And the person coached them through that. So, as a result, you found a coach that helped you kind of get where you wanted to be, and now you have created your program. So you told us about your book. What other services are you offering?
Speaker 1:I actually also have a retreat that I do twice a year called the Prioritize and Empower you Retreat. It's in April and October. So the April retreat is sold out, so we're now accepting people for our wait list for October, and it is four days, three nights of rest, breathing, stretching, and four courses where we do together, where we walk through how you got here, why you don't like being here and what you're willing to do to change, and then we go through the tools and techniques so that you can go home and implement those things into your life. And then Pulse Retreat is a 12-week coaching program where we meet once a week via Zoom to reinforce what you learned during the retreat but also to give you some additional resources so that, when it's all said and done, you'll do the things that resonated well with you, to keep you on this life of excellence rather than perfection and burnout.
Speaker 2:Wow, you know, as you're going through that, I would almost think that those sessions after might be more important than the actual retreat. Not that the retreat isn't important, but I'm just thinking about myself and burnout. Something like this would have been very beneficial for me, but for me to stop that many days and tune in to self-care and strategies around that, it would have been a lot of resetting and then needing that community after the fact to make sure that I didn't pile more on the plate without taking stuff off. That's right. I guess that you probably add some accountability as well as I say that, oh, and that's the whole point. So what advice do you have for people who haven't found their way out of burnout?
Speaker 1:So the first thing that I would say is to be patient with yourself, because this is not a bag that you're going to find your way out of. This is a maze and you have to find a wall and you have to find someone who is going to help you through this, someone who's been there before. That's why I hired someone to help me. So that's the first thing. The second thing is you have to embrace the help and you have to be willing to do what the person tells you to do, even when it sounds totally counter to everything that you have ever done. And the reason it sounds counter is because it is and it's not comfortable, because it is different from what you know. We are comfortable in what we know, even when it causes us pain. And so I need you to embrace, which is the third thing releasing the pain, releasing that which you know, but you know is not going to get you what you want.
Speaker 1:Next, and then you have to tag people in, and this is hard, I know. You have to tell the people in your warm circle what you're working to do so they can hold you accountable, and you have to give them the permission to say something to you and you not shut the door on them and ice them out because you don't like what they're saying. So those are hard things, I know, but you can do them and you just have to keep continually doing that and stepping through it. Even after all of these years, I still get checked by people in my warm circle and at the moment I don't like it. I don't like it at all, but it is for me and they're doing it in love and so I embrace it.
Speaker 2:I love that All of Lenita's information and her books and her website will be in today's show notes. I highly encourage everyone to check out her work. I think it can be transformational. Is there anything else you'd like to share, Lenita, before we say goodbye today?
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for having me on your show and remember everyone. The goal is to live an excellent life, not a perfect one. Love it. Thank you for being here.
Speaker 2:Today's episode was produced and edited by me. The theme music is by Otis McDonald featuring Joni Ines. If you know someone who might enjoy these conversations, please share the podcast episodes as much and as often as you can. It's as simple as copying the link you use to access today's episode and sending it in a message or sharing it on social media. I'm a small, independent operation and your shares broaden our audience. Perhaps you or someone you know will be inspired to talk about teacher burnout. If you would like to get your voice on my podcast, contact me via the link on my webpage taughtbuzzsproutcom. Coach, speaker and author Rashid Ogunlaro said it may take many voices for people to hear the same message. Join me in being one of the many voices rising up to get the message out around educator burnout.
Speaker 2:This is Melissa LaFleur. Thank you for listening to taught the podcast. I wish I knew I have an important reminder. Slash disclaimer to share. The views, thoughts and opinions expressed by the hosts and guests on this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organization, employer or company. Content provided on this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as professional advice. We encourage you to do your own research and consult with qualified professionals before making any decisions based on the information discussed in this or any other episode. Additionally, any opinions or statements made during the podcast are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company or individual Listener. Discretion is advised. Thank you for tuning in.