Dapper Laughs CANCELLED - Setting the Record Straight

The press didn't just cancel Dapper Laughs. They tried to bury him.

Dapper Laughs (Dan O'Reilly) was one of the first comedy influencers in the UK, built millions of followers from Vine to Facebook before TikTok existed, landed a TV show on ITV2, then watched it all collapse overnight. A press campaign branded him pro-r*pe, 60,000 people signed a petition, venues pulled out, promoters walked, and even the small comedy clubs wouldn't touch him. He lost the show, the tour, the money, the house, and his father... all around the same time.

In this conversation, Dan gets into the stuff most people only talk about once they're through it: what cancellation actually does to your mental health, how addiction crept in when the work dried up, and how sobriety, grief, and a brutal boxing regime became the foundation of a comeback nobody saw coming. He's now 1000+ days sober, on his biggest ever tour, turning his mental health platform into a registered charity, and writing his first original screenplay. The industry that blacklisted him can't ignore him anymore. 

Chapters
0:00 - Coming Up
0:14 - Intro
0:31 - From Vine to ITV to Cancelled
6:04 - Rock Bottom, Addiction, Loss and Nearly Losing His Life
7:40 - Life on the Other Side of the Drink
9:37 - The Turning Point: Grief, Audience and Mindset
11:53 - Character Creation & Testing Material
15:02 - Building a Brand They Couldn't Cancel
19:22 - How Fatherhood and Sobriety Changed Everything
20:55 - Why He Stopped Apologising for His Comedy
22:53 - Two Films and How He Gamed Amazon to Go Number One
26:57 - Boxing, Sobriety and Silencing the Voice
30:43 - The One Thing That Could Still Break Him
31:59 - The Friends He Lost When He Stopped Saying Yes
34:31 - What's Next and Final Thoughts

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Transcript

Opening And Cancellation Fallout

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I was the first comedian really to get cancelled. Cancelled off TV, lost my tour, lost my TV show, lost all my money, lost my house, you know, lost my father around the same sort of time and then lost, sort of lost my mind.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Guys, Matt Haycock's here, and welcome to another episode of Stripping Off with Matt Haycocks. We've got the Master of Comedy, Dappa Laughs, Mr. Dan O'Reilly. Hello. Welcome to the show. Thanks for having me, mate. It's good to be back, man. Bit different now. I want to go heavy on your story and journey since uh you know, since we last saw each other, because again, you know, you've been up to quite a lot since then. But for the viewers and listeners that don't know you already or just need a bit of a recap to some context, give us give give us a bit of backstory.

Media Hit Piece And Venue Backlash

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Well, I'm quite prolific in regards to social media. I was one of the first um, or if not the first, sort of large comedy influencers that um kicked off with uh a platform called Vine, grew onto Facebook, Snapchat, all of that stuff. Uh now TikTok, but it wasn't around back then. But creating comedy content, I was really, there wasn't really anyone else doing it when I was doing it. I was a stand-up comedian that started doing it early on, and I blew up uh quite controversial, not really naughty comedy, you know, considered um, you know, lad humour and stuff like that. But it had a big audience, millions of followers across social media, got a TV show, ended up on ITV too, and it all quite quickly came crashing down through um some arguments with the press, and the press sort of twisting and taking some of the things I said out of context. I was also uh, you know, a bit wild back then, and I said a lot of wild stuff. Uh, and I was the first comedian really to get cancelled, cancelled off TV, lost my tour, lost my TV show, lost all my money, lost, lost my house, you know, lost my father around the same sort of time, and then lost, sort of lost my mind.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Were you with your missus that you're with now that you've got the kids with? Were you with her at that time?

SPEAKER_00 1:56

Yeah, I've been with her for just over 10 years. And then as a result of that, struggled heavily in um addiction, mental health. I was uh, you know, attempted suicide, I was gonna attempt suicide at one point, um, and uh heavy into my drinking drugs and stuff like that. But as a result of all that, now coming out the back end of it, I'm a bit of a mental health advocate. I've got a large mental health group called Men and Their Emotions on Facebook, where we help lads that are going through similar things. So it's like a mental health page on Facebook and a uh podcast on sobriety, and uh and I've kind of gone full circle. And I'm, you know, uh 10 years later, it's taken 10 years to get back on tour.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

When you lost um the TV show, why was the knock-on effect then of losing losing the money, you know, losing everything? Because you still you still presumably had your audience and your social media audience and things.

Grief Addiction And Building In Secret

SPEAKER_00 2:46

Yeah, the the the media had had done a really good job in completely destroying my reputation, like look like me as as a name, as a brand. Um, but you know, so commercially, like within like the TV world, well, first of all, I couldn't work as a comedian because they the press were contacting all the venues and saying, because it was all over a comment uh at a gig, like a rape joke, right? Where what it was was I actually went on, I was on tour and um I think it's the Huffett and Post done a done a piece on me saying that my TV show was an almanac for rape culture because I was teaching young men how to seduce women with like jokes and everything like that. And uh they they really took offence to it. It was just like satirical comedy, you know, like a dating show for lads, right? Um, but they done this hit piece on it saying that it was an almanac for rape culture. I was really angry about it. I went on stage and I was like, if I wanted to make an almanac for rape culture, I wouldn't have written six 30-minute episodes, I would have said to the lads, just go down the road, get some duct tape and grab a grab a woman and whatever. And then a woman at the front of the road, at the front of the uh in the audience had said, Well, my friend fucking Lucy or something loves you, she's gagging for a rape. And I said, What's that? She's gagging for a rape. And they cut it together and put it together and released it and uh said that I was a pro-rape comedian. It was insane. And they they put it all out there and then they started targeting the venues, the press. Are you gonna let him perform here? He's pro-rape, he's pro-rape. Like, who the fuck's pro-rape apart from rapists, obviously? And it blew my mind, and I didn't think it would catch on, but it did. The TV show, 60,000 people signed a petition to cancel the TV show. The venues all started pulling, so then the big promoters just pulled the whole thing. Um, and uh, and then even the little comedy clubs, even for years to come, you know, I'd try and get gigs to test material, and no one would touch me because I was still pro-rape in their eyes, you know, from the press that everything had gone out. As a knock-on effect to that, brands didn't want to work with me, so I couldn't monetize my social media. Um, this was before you got paid for views and everything like that. So I was forced to make like legitimate, I mean, uh for about three years, three or four years, I just drank and sniffed code. I was just out. Do you know what I mean? I just thought, you know, I was I was just hiding, do you know what I mean? From my life, escaping my life, escaping who I was. Not doing any work at that point. I was I was trying to, I was still trying to be funny, but I would I would just encounter some encounter so much hate online from what the press had done that it was very difficult to do it without it really damaging my mental health. But I had a series of really low points, you know. Like when my father passed away, I broke up with my missus, um, found out she was pregnant. That was a difficult time. Do you know what I mean? It was pregnant with my first baby, um, Neve, and um I was I almost took my own life. I was just so low at that point. Managed to pull myself out of that, never, never really saw the drink and drugs as a problem, but managed to sort my mental health out to a better standard, got back with her and started repairing my life. But the drink and drugs just kept pulling me kind of deeper into into into holes. But during that time, once I'd sort of motivated myself and got out of a real dark patch after my dad died, I started building businesses behind behind the scenes that that I'd promote uh as if they weren't mine, do you know what I mean? Uh as if I was getting brand deals, um, which kind of worked worked in my favour because it let other brands think that I was brand worthy. Uh, and also it built businesses that that now sustained me. Do you know what I mean?

Relationship Strain And Drinking Culture

SPEAKER_01 6:04

How was your relationship with with your missus during the during the kind of three years and in in the aftermath of it of things going wrong?

SPEAKER_00 6:12

Well, right up until about a couple of years, uh, well, right up until I went sober five a year and a half ago, um, the relationship with my missus has been really difficult for her. Up and down, you know, great moments, but really dark moments as well. I was battling addiction for I've been battling addiction my whole life, you know.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

She's not a drinker, a drugger, she or not?

SPEAKER_00 6:32

No, she she she'll drink, but she doesn't drink now. Um not because she's got a problem, but if she goes out with her friends, she might have a glass of wine and that, but she don't get drunk. Not around you. Yeah. Well, she can drink around me. I'm I'm fine with it, but no, not really. But um, it caused a lot of problems, man. It I was on self-destruct mode, you know. I was every time anything got too much for me. I've worked out a lot about why I drank now and why why I'm an addict. And it's just any thoughts, feelings, or anything that was more too difficult for me to handle, I'd escape it by drinking. And that was every weekend. Every week was uh whether the week was easy or hard, you know, I was either celebrating or commiserating every fucking weekend.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

So what about the people around you? I mean, did did you have any kind of support system, any people trying to pull you out of it or no?

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Everyone, everyone around me, dickheads as well. Well, yeah, I think that we put on a brave face, didn't we? And and maybe people didn't realise how bad it was for me, but also drinking drugs is our culture in this country. So I mean, everyone I know drink drinks, and majority of them take drugs. So, you know, me just I was just with different groups every, you know, during the week, maybe. You know, I'd get get on it a couple of times in the week and then the weekend, and you know, it's not like the same person, there's different groups.

Redefining Addiction And Choosing Sobriety

SPEAKER_01 7:40

And how do you think about that now as a sober person, you know, like look looking looking at other pissed people? And do you ever miss it, or do you actually now look at other drinkers and pissed up people thinking you look alright, can't?

Morning Routines And A New Mindset

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Yeah, I don't miss it. I you do that. The hardest thing about going is because I tried to go sober before and I cracked towards Christmas. I'd done like six nearly six months, and it was coming up to Christmas, and I was like, Oh, you know what? I've proved that I haven't got a problem. Um, you know, I'm getting bored and everyone's having fun but me. Christmas is coming, I'm gonna have a couple of beers. But I what I worked out is because I my my thinking of addiction, I thought my addiction was you wake up every day and you grab a bottle of vodka or you sniff a line of coke or you inject yourself with heroin every day without fail. But I was never like that. I'd some I'd go a week without drinking sometimes, and um, but I'd never really pass a weekend without drinking in some form. But when I drank, I drank hard, and then majority of the time I used drugs. And it what I realized is addiction to some people is not the frequency of how much you drink, but what happens when it touches your lips when you drink. And for me, everything would go out the window. I'd become an arsehole, I wouldn't give a shit, and I'd drink and I, you know, it wouldn't end. Do you know what I mean? That first time round, I was still looking at it as like I was missing out. But as soon as I went back, the carnage was so severe for so long. It went on for like eight months, the carnage, like and it fucked everything up in my life to the point where I'd broke up with my missus, do you know what I mean? We had two young kids, I couldn't couldn't go to the house, and I'd ruined loads of shit in such a short space of time. It escalated so quickly that I was terrified. Do you know what I mean? I was like, wow, I really am fucked. And then the that time, this time that I went sober, it was like I didn't feel like I was missing out. I was like, get me away from this shit. And now that I'm free of it, like the hat the the habitual feeling and like the triggers are gone. Because it does it takes a while, but once the triggers are gone and everything, and you can be around it and you're not thinking about getting off your nut or drinking, you kind of look at it like, yeah, isn't it weird that everyone needs to get like this?

SPEAKER_01 9:37

What was the turning point? You know, how how did you start to get back out of it?

Characters And Testing Comedy Material

SPEAKER_00 9:41

I don't know. I think I think you know, it was just I think I just grieved my father, and then when I started to feel something a little bit different, I just started getting back to work, getting getting creating content. And I think the turning point was when I realised that there was still an audience for me, you know what I mean? When I realised there still was love for me for my work, and not everyone bought into that what the or what the the social media had had portrayed. And then what I the turning point for me was when I started focusing on the positive stuff, not the negative stuff. And even though the positive stuff was like this and the negative stuff was like that, I just gripped hold of that. You know, the fact that I had a baby, uh, the fact that there was some money coming in, the fact that my business was doing all right, the fact that there are there is some love, and I just focused on that. When I look at it now, you can't I can't find a negative comment. One thing I've learned, about especially, especially through sobriety, going sober is by far the most difficult thing that I've ever done in my life, I've ever encountered, you know, and I've taken on some massive challenges. Going sober, making a decision to change your whole life, change your circle of friends, changing what you do with your time, you know, how you how how you make yourself feel better when things are hard, it's the hardest thing. And uh what I learned through it is it's all mindset, it's all how you view yourself. Everything about sobriety, about life, about success, absolutely everything is about the picture that you paint of yourself inside your head. So if I wake up in the morning, I know that my baseline level of living is actually negative. I don't wake up with a spring in my step. I'm I'm looking for what the problem is every day. What what who don't like me, what's gonna go wrong, what's the fucking problem? And I but I know that that's a mindset that can be altered early on. So that's why I train first thing in the morning and I write in my diary first thing in the morning. I set out my day and I focus on the positive things as soon as I can, right? Man, my wife's heavily pregnant and healthy, my two girls are healthy. Do you know what I mean? I'm healthy, I'm living the fucking dream. You could take everything away from me, but as long as I had that, I wouldn't, I mean, it would be hard. But if you took that away from me, do you know what I mean? So for me, I just realised that everything is about perspective, how you view yourself in your mind, how you view your life, you know? Like, is it really an issue, these all these issues, or are you fucking privileged and blessed? So if you can shift your mindset early in the day, you're normally on for a good one.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

You've created some super cool characters. Uh I mean, my my personal favourite, I forget his name, but Kid Frankie is it? Yes, Kid Frankie, the little tuck shop boy. Where do the ideas for these come from? I mean, are these things all based on some kind of personal experience? Yeah, I think I don't know. I'm sure the Sesh Gremlin is.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

Yeah, Seth Gremlin is. Yeah, well, let's use Sesh Gremlin as an example. The Seth Gremlin's, like, for those of you that have never seen it, is this character that's always trying to get me the Sesh. Like, you know, come on, let's go and book a hotel room and get a brass and sleep loads of coke, you know. And I'm like, no, no, don't fighting it. And that's my addiction, right? Um, so I don't know where they come from, but I I I'll um I just play, you know. I play, I think that the reason why I've had some success with social media is because I'm prepared to play with with with ideas, you know, and put them out there. But ultimately, my mind's just a mental place and it makes me laugh, you know. So I I couldn't tell you really, you know, I just have a part of my brain that tells me jokes and and comes up with ideas and and says this would be funny, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_01 12:54

How do you test stuff? Because I guess I always found it you know quite interesting when you see that see the stand-up comedians like the big, big names, and you and you don't appreciate when you just see them performing in a big arena, but how how that jokes developed over time, how do you do the same thing with your kind of social media characters, just in the same way?

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Well, yeah, I mean social media is very different from stand-up. I mean, for my stand-up, for instance, I used to write my I used to write my shows and then just like I used to cheat a little bit because because I've got such a big social media following, I knew that my audience would show up if I put a show on. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Um, so I used to kind of just create what I thought was funny and do it for stand-up. But now I've got a comedy director, and we get out and like this tour, for instance, we've been on the road for about we've been on the road for a year before we went on tour, uh testing material. And it's quite similar to social media, you know, you just got to put stuff out and stuff that bangs, you make more of, or you or you improve on, or you know, you diversify with it. But stand-up comedy is a completely different beast. Like now, this show that I'm doing now is the best show that I've ever done in my life, and that's because when I got my comedy director, I told him the material, I'd talk to him about the material, he'd helped me hone my performance around it, but he'd take me to comedy cups where no one knew who I was to perform in front of, not my audience. So we had to spend a lot of time on the road to see if it was funny to strangers, not to my crowd. And then that the shit that made it past the strangers when it got to my crowd was the fucking gold. And how how does that feel when you got die on your ass for a long time?

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Well, it's just how does it feel as a successful person who could walk into an audience who loves you and have your ego super boosted to go into like one of these you know little comedy clubs where no one knows you and you tell a joke that's fucking terrible. Nobody laughs.

Authenticity That Sells And Shares

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Yeah, it it to be honest with you, is it hurt? Or is it yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, it you question why you're doing it, but and it and it can make you feel very insecure and wonder, but also it gave me a completely new zest for stand-up comedy and love for life, you know, going into like I, you know, like I was like starting again. Do you know what I mean? It was great.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

One of the things you did uh after you started to build back up after after your initial downfall was was really take control of uh I guess take control of your distribution, take control of your your your brand and your business. And obviously it goes to show the importance of you know of controlling your channels, of having multiple channels. You want as much exposure to as much distribution as possible. Run with that for me for a bit.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

Yeah, I mean, so for me, I worked out, I worked out kind of very quickly that you know if you're if you're gonna be on social media, people don't want like a fucking diamond. They don't want like a polished diamond. Like the most the biggest commodity that you can have on social media is like being genuine, like do you know what I mean? Like authenticity, authenticity, yeah, raw authenticity and relatability. One of the big things one of the big biggest tools on social media, obviously, that gets your name, gets your name or your content or your yourself as a brand out there is the shareability of your content. And people only really want to share stuff that speaks their voice. Do you know what I mean? So, you know, if so if you if I say something that you disagree with, you're not gonna share it, right? But if I say something that you agree with but you ain't got the confidence to say, you're very likely to share it. And through comedy, it's even better because it's hidden in a joke. So for me, I realize that what's more important than the actual fact that it's funny is that there's a message that somebody gets and wants to share. And also within that, you can you can put that message into your marketing of your products and and everything else. It makes it more powerful. And with the highs on your social media, with all of your success, it's fantastic to show that. But it's very important also to show this bad stuff that happens, your neg your negative things, things that don't go right, stuff that has, you know, businesses like I show when businesses haven't worked and or when I've got things wrong or I'm getting told off for this or that hasn't gone right, or I've lost money here, or da-da-da, whatever. People relate to it more, they want to see, they want to see, see all of it. But I think the key for me has always been to work out who's trying to give me money in regards to like brands and businesses, and when they're trying to give me a lot of money for things, then I think, right, well, they know something, I don't know, and try and replicate their businesses and sell that shit myself.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

Now you're doing some of your other things, like like the Menace of Sobriety podcast, and I guess you've got two almost like two distinct brands there, haven't you? That you've got the the comedy brand, and then you've got that. Has that given you a completely different audience as well?

Sobriety Backlash And Becoming A Dad

SPEAKER_00 17:19

Yeah, definitely a lot of crossover. Yeah, I've seen it at my stand-up shows, uh, and I've kind of written my stand-up show with that in mind. You know, there's a lot of about my past and there's a lot about my future in my stand-up show, a lot about session and a lot about sobriety and mental health. But yeah, I think it has, I think it's brought a new audience to my comedy as well, because my podcast and everything has reached a sober audience of people trying to get sober, and through that, maybe they've come to my comedy. It hasn't worked the other way around as well, you know. I uh in regards to there's some backlash from my comedy audience about my sobriety stuff. But I also think that what's made the whole thing very important is the struggle that I found. I think that a lot of men are going through the exact same thing that I went through where you know the party's got to stop.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

What's the backlash about?

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Why, you know, why is well, people that are still living the life, you know, session, drinking, and they were into my comedy because it was that, and then I'm going, look, I've got a problem. And they're going, well, not really, because I'm the same as you, you haven't got a problem. Well, you're saying I've got a problem. Do you know what I mean? Or whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean drinking drugs ain't working for you? We've just spent the last nine years drinking and doing drugs with you, you know, like in their minds. Do you know what I mean? So what it's done is it did, you know, at first it caused quite a bit of friction, it alienated a certain percentage of my audience, which left. But ultimately, I knew for a fact that I wasn't the only one going through what I was going through. Do you know what I mean? Thinking that I could continue session at the weekend and drinking at the weekend, and it wasn't going to affect my relationship with my kids and my wife and my work. Just thinking I could get away with that and it would be alright. There's a lot of lads out there that have worked out too late that they've got a problem and they've already lost their missus, their house, and their kids, and they're fighting to see their kids while also fighting addiction. So it became a really important message for me that in fact, the way that I look at it now is everything that happened to me is actually more important than the comedy. The comedy is great, it's my ego, and I love it, and I love being a comedian. I love when people come and say, Fucking, I've been watching you for years, it's brilliant. But I I love more now that I've actually got something to say on the platform. Do you know what I mean? Something that can help. How has being a father changed you? It's become the only thing that's important, really, you know, and again, I didn't realise the importance of it until I was sober. I was fucking it up bad. Um, not necessarily like the kids probably wouldn't know. Do you know what I mean? But I was getting it. I was thinking that money was good parenting. Do you know what I mean? Look, you got a nice house, you got a nice car, and they can have everything. I'm gonna fucking enjoy myself. I'm working hard, do you know what I mean? When I became sober and I managed to piece my family back together, um and keep keep us together now, it's like you're lucky you got me here, really, because I don't like leaving the fucking house. I don't like leaving the house. I'd work and then that's it. You know, I'm just I'm loving being a father, but it's it's just became my, you know, my reason.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

I guess sobriety aside, has it has it changed any other things? Do you ever ever tell jokes or or have parts of your public persona anymore where you think, fuck, you know, I don't I don't want my kids to see that. I'm gonna dial that down, or is is work work and then dad's dad?

Comedy Boundaries And The Regret Of Apologies

SPEAKER_00 20:20

I've never really cared about that. I sort of say, I sort of say what I think and feel, and to me, comedy is comedy doesn't, my comedy doesn't, um, what's the word I'm looking for? But it doesn't, it I'm not my comedy. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, it's a character. It's a character, yeah, it's character. And also like, I write jokes because I write jokes, like, you know, there's shock humour and there's stuff that's meant to be, you know, people don't, you know, people don't I'll go and talk about stuff on stage that has never happened that I don't do. And um, when my kids are old enough, I'll teach them the difference between who I am and and what I do online and what I say.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

It's impossible to do comedy without um, you know, without taking the piss out of someone. But you know there's a different there's a difference between taking the piss for fun and obviously obviously maliciously believing something. How as a comedian do you do you ever do you ever overcome that problem?

Making Films Independently With Red Flags

SPEAKER_00 21:09

Yeah, I think that you've just got to not give a fuck. That is, and and the problem that I had was the problem that I had, the the the only big regret I have is ever is apologizing. I was bullied into thinking that because I said risky things or because I said stuff that was um considered to some people too much, that I was too much as a person, the press and the media actually made me believe for for a certain amount of time that I was a bad person because of jokes that I said. And I look back on it now and I think it's insane. And I think anyone that uh any, I mean, you are more than welcome to be upset about a joke. You know what I mean? I hear stuff and I think fucking hell, that's a bit much. I wouldn't say that. But I think when you start going into the realm of trying to stop someone saying it, I think you're weird. I think you've got serious like problems if you're the type of person that goes, listen, I didn't find that funny, so I don't want Anyone else to find it funny. And if you do find that funny, you have an issue because we all grow up in different areas, like we have different filters, we have different backgrounds. Do you know what I mean? I grew up in a rough area. I moved out when I was 15 years old and I lived, I grew up with a group of lads from the age of 15. So what I consider funny and what my reality is is going to be completely different to someone that went to fucking private school and had mummy and daddy pay for everything for them until they was an older age and they was covered in cotton wool and didn't go out and fucking see people robbing or getting stabbed or shot or fucking whatever. Do you know what I mean? Everyone has different ways of living. So no one has the right to tell anyone else what they should or shouldn't laugh at. It'd be like me walking into a gallery and have someone that's looking at painting and saying that's amazing. And me going, No, that's shit. Don't like that painting. In fact, take that painting down and burn it. That painting should never be allowed to be put up. Comedy's subjective, it's an art form. Is it two films you've done now? I've done uh two, I've had two released, I've got another one that's coming out. Yeah. And how did that come about?

SPEAKER_01 23:00

How how did you get into it?

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Well, just um I'm an actor anyway. I was I've done acting and performing arts uh at at school and college, and I was originally wanting to be an actor, so I've studied acting and yeah, I just I love acting and I love writing scripts. I love writing on a writer, I write my comedy, I write my script, write sketches. If you imagine what I do on my social media is just acting, isn't it? The the the two films that have been released, have you have you written those as well? Yeah, I've had I've helped from a comedy acts aspect, but I've got like not full written scripts, but I've just for the first time fully written uh a screenplay that we're raising funds on now that's going to be coming out. That's got like a dark comedy about addiction and sobriety and very much about what I'm talking about now. But it's beautiful, it's magical. Film is magical, it's just hard raising money, it's trying hard getting money from people to invest in it unless you've got like big, big, massive names in it. And um, the likes of the big TV platforms and Netflix platforms do a lot of research into who they're giving their money to and who they're giving, you know. If if if you've if you're a slight risk by any way, shape, or form, no one wants to work with you. So for me, everything's independent. I've got to I've got to write raise the funds myself, I've got to shoot it myself, I've got to market it, distribute it myself. And the last one we'd done, we got up to number one in the um, I think it was the crime section in Amazon, Amazon Prime, Amazon, and then Amazon Prime. Well, I had to do it independently on Amazon to raise it up through the ranks, and then Amazon Prime took it then. But when we first went to Amazon Prime, they didn't want it.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Oh, I was gonna say, how how do you distribute a like an independent film? Yeah, is it yeah, of course it is, yeah. And how but how and how do people buy it?

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Yeah, so you can get you can get like, for instance, Netflix needs to buy the film from you, right? Um, so and you need names in it, really, in order to sell to Netflix. So we've create I've created two films, one one comedy, one comedy gangster, like one comedy horror, one comedy gangster. And the comedy horror I thought was brilliant, but no one wanted it. It was it was back when um I was really still quite toxic, you know, not even Tesco's would take it. Do you know what I mean? Well, I uh but but what we do is you can get whoever's made a film can get it on Amazon, on like the the normal Amazon, you know, selling the product.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Oh so so in the same way that you can um you can publish your own book and you can actually publish a movie, you can put it on there, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:13

But the good thing about that is you can put it on Amazon, but they still record the sales as if it's in the film chart. So if when I go on social media, if I build up a wicked marketing campaign over the whole year of shooting it and say, like, we need to blow this up, you know, I'm putting my own money into it, please support the film. Da da da da and I with my first one, I was really focused on this. So I got all the roles played by social media people and got them to promote it as well. And then we drop it, it blows up on Amazon and it goes up to number one. Then we promote the factors at number one, hoping that the other platforms take it. And uh Prime took that one, and and now it's just been released in America as well. So that that's kind of doing bits, but not real bits. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 25:52

And I I didn't realise it were like that. I I thought that every film had to be distributed by someone. I didn't realise you could do it like in the same way you can publish your own book.

Boxing Training As Mental Resilience

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Well, you couldn't, but that's what I did. Yeah, that's what I did. We uh it's not the conventional way of of marketing, it's like, but I just treated the film as the same as I would any other products that we're creating. But but the beautiful thing is for investors, so like now the film that I'm doing now, um, it's got a mental health angle to it, it's got a really important message. It's funny, it's dark. But with majority of film producers out there, they say, right, give me 100 grand, we'll put it into the film. If someone buys it like Netflix or it gets a cinema run or it goes on Amazon and it does well, once the film has recouped its costs, you'll get profit and you'll get your money back. Whereas now I can say to investors, look, regardless, we'll make it to the best standards, we'll try and sell it to the industry, but if they don't buy it, we'll self-promote it through my following and we'll get your money back. So, you know, it's it's a different way of doing things, but it's working, but it is frustrating because but my name comes with a lot of red flags. So your Netflix is you know, there's a there's a there's there'll there'll be a boardroom of people going, right, we'll take this, but what's the risk? And then they'll see the background. How long ago is it? You did the Misfits boxing now? Not long ago, I've got another one coming up, about four or five months ago. That was your first one, that one. That was my first one with Misfits, yeah. But I I had done a white collar before that and I'd done a cage match.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

Um I'm probably thinking of the cage. So when did it first first? Or is it with Harvey the first first one?

SPEAKER_00 27:11

No, I've done a white collar years before that. Uh, I've always liked boxing. So I've tried, but because of the drinking and the drugs, I'd never been able to get to a good enough standard, do you know what I mean? Because it takes fucking consistency. You have to be a certain level of fitness to be able to box, as you as you know, do you know what I mean? Without the fitness.

SPEAKER_01 27:28

On the cage one, how much I mean, how much training did you get to do for that? Did you manage to stir off the booze and yeah?

SPEAKER_00 27:33

So for about for four months I did, yeah. I I cut the booze and that out for about four or five months. And I trained hard jujitsu, uh a lot of jujitsu and the fitness and the striking and stuff, but I just I wasn't I just didn't I I didn't have the mindset to win. I I went into it not thinking I could win. Do you know what I mean? I was like unsure, so I couldn't switch it on in there. I couldn't switch the fight on. Um when you do it now, I'm a fucking animal. You're going with a completely different and what changed that mindset? I think just I don't know, it's all about liking yourself, I think. So about liking yourself, about believing in yourself. And when I was drinking, because even though I I was sober for it, I mean I stopped drinking, I was still kind of drinking, but yeah, but I was still a broken man inside. Do you know what I mean? I didn't believe I didn't really believe in myself, but also the boxing is different for me now because I've just dedicated so much time to it. It's became like it's become my life boxing. So I know for a fact that I'm giving it everything I've got, and I think that that comes that you know, you just believe in yourself more. It got me sober. So for a follow solid fucking year, I was every morning, six days a week, five o'clock in the morning, up boxing, sparring three times a week. So, like, really, like I mean, like a like a fucking constant training camp. Do you know what I mean? And um fighting hard, boxing hard guys, like sparring proper boxers. So I'm I'm like I boxing now for me is like let's fucking have it.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

The the mindset of the sparring that you know you you can you can train on the bags, you can train on the pads, you can do all the cardio in your in the world. But then when that first time you go on that ring, that first time you get a punch, it's it's just uh something clicks day one.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

Something clicks at some point where you're where you enjoy the spa, and something clicks where you're like when when you kind of when you've taken everything that comes at you, and you know you ain't made a glass, when you're kind of taken some real heavy shots in the nose, in the face, when you've gone down a few times, heavy bod shots and all that, and you kind of know as bad as it can get, you it's you it takes the edge off it. For me, it was it was integral to my sobriety because I didn't want to do it. And I realised that my sobriety, um not drinking, is is simply just overcoming your mind telling you to drink. So, like the sun would come out and I'd be like, It's sunny, man, I really want to fucking beer. Or my friend's birthday, it's his birthday, I really want to get pissed, or you know, every I'd bump into old people or go even getting on the train and going up to London on a Thursday, and when it starts getting dark and I'm on my way in, I'd be like, Fucking, I'd normally be getting excited about getting on the fucking smash or thinking about getting on the sniff or whatever. There was triggers fucking everywhere. And getting up in the morning when I didn't want to get up and getting down there and then sparring early in the morning as well at 5:30 in the morning, you know, when you're tired and you're not sure about it, getting through the ropes, overcoming your mind saying no, it made the not drinking a piece of piss. Not a piece of piss, but that's probably the wrong word. It made it made it become easier because when that thought came in, I was like, Well, fucking, look what I did this morning. Do you know what I mean? Like the thought of that to overcome that that voice became easier. And that's what I say when I talk, do it, talk at sobriety talks or mental health talks or whatever. I I always say the biggest tool that you can build is uh mental resilience, overcoming that voice in your brain.

SPEAKER_01 30:43

Do you do you fear slipping out of sobriety again?

Friendships After Sobriety And Future Plans

SPEAKER_00 30:47

Yeah, but I think the only thing now I'll now like now the fun side of it's gone. Do you know what I mean? Where I consider it fun. What fun being drunk? Yeah. So, like for instance, I used to like bank holiday weekends or my mates in the beer garden was a big one. Oh, you know, I'd sit at home and be like, oh man, they're all down there having a nice cold beer in the sun and missing out. And then I'd be like, Well, what are you missing out on? Because you can go down and have an alcohol-free beer with them and have and and and and sit with all your pals and have an alcohol-free beer and enjoy their company. And then I'll go, yeah, but I don't want to do that. That sounds shit. So then I realise, what do I want? It's getting pissed, the annihilation, like the fucking letting go, you know, the freedom, like escaping myself and being wild and like just getting out of my head. And I'm like, well, why do I want that? Like, that's not good for me, man. And it gets worse and worse and worse. And you realise slowly that you're just you what you miss is escaping life. So you've got to build a better life. But once I work that out and I stopped missing the fun side of or what I considered fun, the only other aspect of it that's difficult is when life's too much, do you know what I mean? When it's bad. So the only thing that worries me is that something really bad would happen in my life that would that I couldn't cope with, you know, like something awful. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 31:59

How has your kind of friendship circles changed since being sober?

SPEAKER_00 32:02

Completely.

SPEAKER_01 32:04

As in you've left a lot of people behind, you've brought some new people in?

SPEAKER_00 32:06

That's been really difficult. I mean, I there isn't many new people, but it's uh crazy the amount of friends that I've lost.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

Um when you when we say lost, or that it's been difficult, what's been the difficult bit about it that that you miss that person, or or does it lose some of the difficulty when you're looking and say, well, I'm gonna mate? I mean, yes, we were mates then, and I kind of miss you as a mate, but if you were if you really were my mate, you'd be supporting me now and you'd be joining him on my job on my journey.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

I mean, like, there's there's so many different aspects to it. There's people that I'm not friends with anymore or don't see anymore because the only thing we did was drink and use drugs together. And I thought we we had more than that, so that's hard. You know, there's some of my friends that still drink and use drugs and go out and do that, but they they will also go, all right mate, do you want to go golf or do you want to go for a meal? But there are some of them that are just like, fuck doing anything sober with him, like they just wouldn't do it. And then it makes you realise that they weren't, we weren't really as close as I thought we were, you know what I mean? Uh, and some of them I just literally do not hear from like my real close friends, I just don't hear from them. And uh, I don't know if it's because you know me saying that I'm in I was in trouble means, you know, makes them feel, or just because I was a dick when I was drunk and now I'm sober they don't have to put up with me. You know what I mean? I don't know what it is. But the other the other aspect of it is from a working environment, from a working, working relationships, people that I was friends with in the industry that I'd done business with, fuck me, mate. Or like a lot of them I've fallen out with, like some key people as well. I won't name any names, but I've really fallen out with uh a lot so many more people than I than I thought I would because when you become sober, you stop people pleasing, right? And you you build like a mental resilience, you build a better image of yourself in your mind, you know. I'm proud of myself now. It's just I'm a different person. Like when someone asks me to do something, if I don't want to do it, whereas before I'd be quite weak. Do you know what I mean? I'd be like, all right, maybe, yeah, okay, we'll talk about it or whatever, or yeah, all right, I'll come when I don't like now. I don't go nowhere that I don't want to go at all. I just want to be in with my missus. But before I'd go to fucking the opening of an envelope so I could get off my nut and drink, drink, right? Because I loved it. Um, so now many, many, many people have asked me to do things that I haven't been comfortable doing, and I've said no, and they've gone, what the fuck do you mean no? For the first time in years. Do you know what I mean? What do you mean no? No, do this for me, and or I've done that for you, and and it's caused friction, you know. And I've people have just started dropping like flies. So, what have we got to look forward to over the next couple of couple of years? Hopefully making some new friends. Yeah, no, um, tours, man, bigger and better tours. Guys, just check me out at cdanlive.com or go on my Instagram, Dapper's Instagram. But um, I've just turned my mental health uh group into a charity, an actual charity, which was fucking really hard to do. Um, so I'm gonna be doing doing some more stuff like that to raise awareness for suicide in young men, but really just just films and stand-up comedy and just hopefully still working, man.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

Well, look, it's been a pleasure having you here, buddy. Thank you, mate. You've uh you know, let's say great, great to see the new you. Great to great to see the well the the weight loss of sobriety and everything else. Uh and uh great to see it's not taking away your uh you too, mate. Naughty streak. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

You can still still got some fire in me, can't you?

SPEAKER_01 35:19

Good man, thank you. Thanks a lot. Thank you, mate.