Healing Your Relationship With Food: Yayoi Komiyama On Brain, Body, And Balance

Today, I sit down with Yayoi Komiyama, founder of Brain to Belly, to talk about how your mind and emotions shape your eating habits — and how healing that relationship can change your entire life. Ms. Komiyama is a certified wellness coach, former art photographer, and eating disorder survivor who blends Eastern and Western wisdom to help people break free from toxic diet culture, emotional eating, and self-sabotage.

In this episode, Ms. Komiyama walks us through her own journey — from childhood bullying and body shame to exercise bulimia and depression, and ultimately to self-acceptance. We talk about the cultural standards that shaped her as a Japanese-American woman, who lived in both Japan and America, the pressures of fitting in, and how she learned to build a life on joy and health rather than guilt and obsession. Her philosophy isn’t about restriction — it’s about harmony between your brain, your heart, and your belly.

We also cover practical ways to shift your mindset around food, the difference between real nourishment and punishment, and why most diets fail. Whether you're battling emotional eating, perfectionism, or a negative body image, Ms. Komiyama’s insights offer a compassionate path forward. If you're tired of chasing numbers on a scale and want to find peace in your body, this episode is for you.

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Transcript

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Couple of Nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey. And for those of you not listening, I'm gonna just grab a few things that our YouTubers are onto that y'all aren't.

I woke up a little bit late and so you can see I started to shave my beard and then I was like, oh, it's interview time, so don't, don't call Apache. It is half shaved. I'm gonna get rid of the rest of it later. I was like, most people listen to it, audio only, but um, now you can picture me with half. It's like the right side of my face has a beard and the left side doesn't, and my guess is laughing at me.

But yeah. And then the background is a huge hint. Today's topic, it's what AI just interpreted green bacteria crawling around as. And why is the bacteria green? Well, I was thinking about that green energy, not the kind that powers your house, but the kind that powers your body. AKA, talking about some cellulase, some cellulose talking about some kale, some spinach, some bok choy, whatever it may be.

Because I am here with the woman who runs brain to belly yayoy. But if you didn't catch me on her show or on Facebook, I. The links in the description below can take you to that. But today is her spotlight where she will be telling us all about herself, her services, and plenty more. And hopefully getting all of you on unhealthy people out there, healthy.

You know, maybe not through your diet, but through the power of your mind. So Ms. Yayoi, we're so glad I have you here. And please share with us some wisdom. Some wisdom, thank you. Or comedy you can, you can choose. Thank you very much for having me here, Mr. Whiskey. I'm Yayoi Kma and I am the founder of Brain to Belly.

And, uh, brain To Belly is a Facebook group, but it's also the name of a program that I have, and the Facebook group is for people to. Have a place like a sanctuary where they can talk about their issues with food. So brain to Belly is basically for people that want to change their relationship with food.

And the reason it came about is because, well, personally, I've had issues with food. I've gone through an eating disorder at one point in my life, and ever since I was a kid, food has always been a friend and a foe. So it's been frenemy. Yeah, it's been a comfort for me. It was always like something I leaned into.

And then it became also where, you know, it became one of those bad friends that just abused you. Right. Or I abused it. I don't know it. It's a mutual thing, I guess. And so it was one of those things, and I had my own journey with food issues with food. And I was heavy as a kid. So also because of the way I looked, I was here in the US as a young kid.

And of course there weren't too many Asian people in the schools I went to. So we got teased by the way we looked. And then when I went back to Japan, where I'm originally from, I was teased because I wasn't quite Japanese, 'cause I had too many American tendencies. And of course, you know, I was a tomboy here in the us So back in Japan, tomboys weren't really that popular.

Girls were supposed to act like girls back then. I think I remember, I remember that I was in Japanese grade school and I would always wear jeans to school because that's what I thought, you know? Wow. And wore, right? And every, all the other girls always skirts. Always skirts. And I remember the one day I walked in with a skirt in on.

Everyone's like, oh, she's got a skirt on it. So it was like, you know, it was a lot of unwanted attention, let's say that. Right? Yeah. And so I started to, to eat a lot, uh, to compensate for not having friends, because a lot of them didn't, you know, didn't wanna be my friend, you know, I guess, or they, I don't know.

They, they, it was, it was weird, you know? And as a kid, you don't know what's going on. So, and then I turned to food and I kind of used food as a way to push down my feelings so I wouldn't feel the hurt and the loneliness. And yeah, food became my friend. It became something that helped me to cope with that.

But on the other hand, it also, I. Created this, I called it my fat armor. It was armor of fat, right? So that nobody could get to me and nobody could hurt me. So that was kind of like, it was a weird relationship because on one hand it was hurting me, but on another, you know, I was using it to protect myself.

And yeah, that's where it all started. And it got, the way I used food and the way I had this relationship with food was really odd. It was one sided, or it wasn't, and it wasn't, it was never a balance. It was never in harmony. Right. And. Eventually, eventually after, you know, eating disorders and things like that, I had what's called, I was an exercise bulimic, which is, it's, it's not, it don't hear, I was just say, I've never heard that before.

But, um, yeah, I can imagine. I, I couldn't throw up, let's just say that I couldn't, I was like, I couldn't do the throw up thing. So I said, okay, what other way can I purge what I eat? And it was through exercise. You do what I do where I eat bed and then I run six to eight miles and I'm like, I feel better now.

Well, yeah, that's basically what happened was I started abusing exercise. So I would interesting binge with food and then I would purge it through exercise. So I would be in the gym, like, you know, I'd be in the gym for an hour or two and then I'd come home and I'd do more exercise at home. So my life revolved around food and exercise.

Food and exercise. That was it. And, uh, so I was really messed up, let's just say that. And so I went through that. I got treated for that. I learned a lot about self care and starting to love myself and really caring for myself, which is a very difficult thing to do because I think as a woman, you know, as a female, as a girl, you're not taught to care about yourself.

You're taught to care about others, not about yourself, and that you're considered selfish if you, you know, think about yourself. And I think I had to learn that it's okay to take care of myself and to start learning to respect who I, who I am as a person. Because I think the culture living, you know, growing up in Japan and living in a society where women are not considered equal at all.

I mean, it's changed quite a bit now, but when I was growing up it was more like, you know, the role that women were supposed to play were eventually to become a housewife and to, you know, serve your husband basically. Right. And I remember when I was 22, I think, I think I was 22, I don't remember. My dad wanted to marry me often.

An arranged marriage. I'm serious. I'm serious. No, I believe it. And I'm like, crap, I don't wanna do that. So I said, I'm gonna go to grad school in the us And then I never came back. But never went back. But yeah, it was, you know, things like that. And it was because, you know, even at work, I was, I went to work in Japan for a bit, but everyone in the workplace was either, people were young, young women, and.

After a certain age, you were kind of like shooed out, basically saying there's a term, uh, in Japan called the Christmas cake and Yeah, the 24th, you know, is you, uh, Christmas Eve, right? Oh, okay. You're very popular until you're 24. When you're 25, you're past due basically because it's Christmas day. So they said, oh, Christmas cake.

Christmas cake. And I don't know if that's still, you know, a term that they use or not. Right. 10 or not. But, but I, it's similar in that I've heard from a lot of people saying that, you know, once they turned 40, it was more difficult to find employment. And a lot of the society does not want older women in the workforce.

So they want you married, having kids, and. Of course there are the rare, you know, there are more women now than ever in the workforce because of just economic issues and, and there are a lot of women that have moved abroad out of Japan Right. To do that. And kind of got off topic. But yeah. So basically had to learn that I was a person basically.

And when you're in your twenties, you don't really know that too much. You know, you're like, you're spo Well, you know, at that point I thought, okay, my right thing was I wanted to go to grad school. I wanted to learn business because I wanted to succeed in business, but I didn't know what I wanted to succeed in business for because that was just what everyone was doing.

And I thought that was what I was supposed to do. And then I was supposed to get married and have kids. Right. And, uh, my life just turned really weird. Right. And. I went to grad school, I hated business. That was not my thing. Yeah, obviously, right? I just thought I could do it, you know, I thought this was what I was supposed to do, so it was fitting into that mold.

Right, right. And so I, yeah. So, you know, but I didn't like it. I wasn't getting the grades I wanted and I started feeling like a failure, blah, blah, blah, you know, all of that. Right. And, and did the Asian culture play a part into that with the grades? Because I know historically they've been known to, I don't want, 'cause some people might consider a stereotype, but I know, like historically, it's usually it's value.

Asian culture has been very harping on their children for good grades, which I, I don't think it is a bad thing. Right. I mean, we want our children to succeed. So like, were you actually getting good grades? But they weren't to that higher standard in No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was getting grades, like I wasn't.

I mean, I thought, you know, I would be getting better grades and I wasn't, it wasn't just clicking with me. Right. Hmm. And so I went, I remember going to the guidance counselor at the college. Right. And talking, and you know, went, went through different things and, and I've always been and interested in art ever since I was a kid.

And so I went into photography actually. I was always interested in photography. I was always, you know, photographing things, school, yearbook, you know, that type of thing. Right. And did you ever get any awards or acknowledgements or is your artwork possibly in a museum somewhere? I don't know if it's still in the museum, but I've gotten, they're in different art collections for corporations, private collections.

But it was artwork that I did. And so I got into photography. I went to photo school. I really loved it. I excelled at it. And yes, my dad would look at the grades and he would say, okay, if I had one that was everything was an A, but then, no, it was like three point something something. Right? 8.3 0.8 something.

And he goes, what happened to the other 0.2 or something? And that's like my dad, right? Right. He goes, and I was, I thought, you know, but I, he, he was like, oh, why didn't you get that? And I was like, well, you know, somebody else was a little better at that, right? And right. But you know, I was happy where I was and I, I really loved what I was doing and I did art photography for a while, but, you know, I've always had this thing with the food and that was always there.

And I think, and I went, you know, I did lots of other jobs and whatnot, but the photography was always something I loved to do because I loved to create and. I love the fact that photography, I can't draw. I'm not very good at drawing. Realistically, I could do abstracts. I'm good at abstracts, right? But I'm not good at depicting something exactly the same.

So that's what I loved photography for. And I loved photography for the fact that you could change, you could change something, just the way you see something by angles and you know, right. Things like that. And I just thought it was fascinating. And that was something that I really enjoyed. And then I guess at some point I couldn't make a living off of it.

So, and then at one point I did get married and then I got divorced. So I couldn't pursue the photography because I had to make a living. And so it kind of went into, you know, as became a a hobby more or less, and. So yeah, it's been, and then throughout that whole time I remember that I got treated for the eating disorder and then I started, you know, going into depression because of the, when I was going through the divorce, divorce or, because in New York State at the time, you had to live separately for a full year.

You had to have separate homes. So yeah, we lived separately for a year. So that was like a trying year. And during that time, I think, you know, I started working for a wellness company as a parttime thing, and that got me into the world of wellness. And because I've always been, you know, working on myself on my eating disorder, you know, I went through that and I learned about nutrition and exercise and all that.

It just seemed to work well with this company. So I worked for them. For 20 something years, took a bit of a break and then started working for them again, just recently. And, but it's something that I feel very passionate about because I went through a hard period, I think while I was going through that period when going through the divorce proceedings and all that.

There was a time where I was on a diet of, I always call Teddy Graham's. And, uh, let's see, that tells my age, uh, cherry Garcia, Ben and Jerry's, cherry Garcia and Teddy Graham's. And I would mix it up and I, that would be my thing, right? That would be Sounds pretty good. It was good actually. Uh, but, you know, then it would be like, oh, I want something salty.

So then I would go buy like, you know, pretzels or chips or something like that. So it was like a cycle of that. And because, you know, it was such a bad habit that I got into. I was so. It was so silly that I would go to separate supermarkets in my neighborhood because I didn't want them to think that I was buying it all for myself.

Because I remember one time I was buying a couple of those and the person at the register said, oh, are you having a party? So I was like, yeah, you know, party for myself. Right? Yeah. So after that I was like a Pty party. Yeah. I have to go to different places to buy it. So it was, it was kind of shameful and all this.

And then I started working for the wellness company and it was what I needed for myself as well as, um, you know, for, for clients. And I guess my thing was I wanted people to be able to have a positive view of their body and what they ate and what they put in themselves. Right. That got me really interested in coaching.

And so I've been a coach for quite a bit now, for quite a while now. Let's see. And so I went to coaching school, of course, and I loved it. It was like, it, it was funny because we were looking through, my sister and I were looking through a catalog or something, you know, of different school programs and whatnot, and it said, they said something, coaching for transformation.

And I was like, huh, you know, that sounds interesting. And my sister goes, yeah, I think you'd be really good at it because everyone always comes to you, you know, wants to talk to you, you know, um, and you seem to listen to them and offer them, you know, good ideas and whatnot. So I, she, she goes, I think you'd be really great at it.

You should just go see what it's about. So you know how they have those, what do you call trial days or you know, right. A night to see what it's about. So I went to one of those. I fell in love with it, and I think I didn't see, they had just started something, so I would miss like a, I've already missed like a couple of classes, so I said, let me wait till the next semester.

So I started the following semester and I truly loved it. And that just really put me on the path to being a wellness coach. And I really loved that because I, I was, I say I don't like, see, I could see a lot of women struggling, mostly women, but men too, struggling with their weight, struggling with health.

And I don't like seeing that. I don't like seeing how some, some of 'em put themselves in these. Diets and starve themselves and say, you know, and then get really emotional about not seeing the results on the scale because the scale's not always going to be accurate. And, you know, seeing that pain, I, I've went through it, so I don't like seeing it.

I know that there's a way out of that to shift the focus. So that's what I work on a lot with my clients is shifting that focus, putting the pressure, not, you know, taking the pressure off of yourself, starting to love yourself and yeah, that's where it's at. And it's like, you know, we have to take care of ourselves because no one else will take care of you unless you take care of you.

So, that's right. That's where I'm at. And that was like a long-winded speech, but yeah. No, no, I appreciate it. And you know, having heard everything you went through, I actually. I prepared a gift for you. Yay. Uh, based on our previous conversation, I went ahead and got you this, uh, box here for, for those of you just listing.

I showed Yayo a box of M and mss because in our last time meeting I established Shout. It's one of the greatest, uh, things of all time and Yayo eat Unestablished that, so, you know, she just is not a fan of M and Msms like I am. And yeah, you know, as we were getting ready for the interview, I had the, it's actually an empty box.

I ate all the m mss, but I just wanted to show you there to get you to laugh and smile as a established before amazing laugh and smile. So, but obviously, you know, one of the things you were talking about is kind of how the Japanese culture, uh, affected you as a child. As soon as you said you were wearing jeans, I was like, I, I've never been to Japan and my life is, my Japanese experience is based off anime, but I was like, I've never seen a girl wearing jeans, always a skirt like you said.

Especially in the, in the school uniforms. And one thing that you, you didn't really mention that I wanna bring up here too is I know you said you had started gaining weight as a child, especially when you didn't fit in and you started using food to cope. And you know, I have talked to some women from Asia 'cause I live in a town where there are a ton of international students.

'cause I live in a town where there's a prominent school of art and, and computer coding and fashion. And there's a lot of abroad students. And what I've spoken with them about is the Asian culture and I guess it's getting a little more lenient. Like you said, it's changed over the years, but even just from when they were growing up, you know, it was petite and pretty and very skinny is like the, the Asian beauty standard.

And so how did that affect you? Being kind of a, a slight, I don't, I don't wanna call you a chubby kid. I feel so bad, but no, that I was a chubby kid. Because you started in America where, I mean, there's still bullying for that, but America has a lot more leniency with, with weight and acceptance. But going back to Japan, besides the jeans, you know, you're also kind of, were you the only chubby kid in the whole class or was it like, you kind of like, and, and how did that affect you socially?

You know, and, and mentally. A lot. Yeah, a lot. I wasn't the only chubby kid, but I guess I stood out because I was the American kid. Mm-hmm. You know, also, and yeah. And then I, part of me was, it's my fault too, but, you know, I wasn't very compliant. I would get into fights, so, and because I was a tomboy, right.

So I wouldn't put up, okay. Yeah. Tell us about these fights. Yeah, I'd like to, no, no, no. I, you punching other girls? No, no punching in the face or just like, is this hair pulling. Are you five boys? No, it, it was boys. Yeah. 'cause I would be like, men are troublemakers. The F what? The F? And then, you know, I would be like, you know, you have no right saying that to me, blah, blah, blah and whatnot.

And the girls, I didn't, they were okay. I didn't, you know, mess with the girls. The girls didn't mess with me so much. So, yeah. Until, well that, that's another story. But yeah. So that's a story we wanna hear initially. Didn't all the teenage trauma didn't, initially I didn't, yeah. The girls didn't mess with me.

It was usually the boys that tease me and I would be like, you know, very what the F type of thing. And then I would, yeah, I wouldn't put up with it or I would just like, I don't know, I guess maybe I did hit them once. I don't remember. Maybe, or maybe kick them. I'm not sure. Um, I don't remember. It's been so long and, but I didn't get along with the boys, that's for sure.

Mm. And yeah. So that was, were they making fun of your weight or the fact that you were a tomboy or a mixture of both? Of both. Both. Or being American? Both. Both. Yeah. And so, yeah, both of those. And I guess that that really just, you know, I don't know, made me feel inadequate, of course. You know? And then I remember who I hated going to school so much, and that I would fake, like I would be sick and my mom would let me do it because she felt so bad that I, you know, I wasn't fitting in.

And that was when I would stay at home. I would read, just read and read. Yeah. I was like into my fantasy world and, you know. So I would start reading and I, yeah, I would read a lot of books and go into the fantasy part of it. Like even if it was like Charlie at the Chocolate Factory or whatever, right. It was like, it was something, I don't know if that's ironic or fitting, you know, it's like fitting, right?

Yeah. 'cause I love chocolate. It's not m and mss. Not not m and ms. No. Well, I, I would eat 'em, but they're, to me, they're, I'd rather spend my calories on something that's more chocolate eat and I like dark chocolate. That's why. Well, they have dark chocolate m and ms. They have fudge brownie, m and ms. There's a lot of different.

I mean, you, I haven't tried those, so you have seen the world of Eminem's change, so, yeah. And you know, there's a, well, I live in New York, so there's a big m and m's. Hershey thing. I've been, and I, if I made more money, I would get, they have a leather signed m and m jacket for like $700. Oh, it looks so good.

Yeah. I went there and I was like, wow, m and m's for like, I could get a small box for like $20 instead of, uh, $2. It is expensive. Everything in New York City is so expensive. But I, I've actually been to the place you're talking about and it's cool to look around. I mean, it is, it's fun. M and m Emporium like is everywhere, but it's like Woo.

Um, it's the most expensive m and ms in the world. Yeah. Oh, and then you can, you know, you can get things stamped on the m and ms. You could put your own writing, you know, words on it, and you could put your name on it. Ladies, ladies and gentlemen, comment in description below. Should I make a couple of nukes?

Should I make a yellow m and m with the radiation sign on it? And maybe it'll be like spice. I don't like spicy stuff. Oh, maybe it should just like, maybe, maybe it'll just be poison. It's regular, regular, it's just regular m and ms, but you could just put different writing on it and things like that.

Because I did that for somebody's bridal baby shower. Oh, wow. And we put the name of, I think you, you get a choice of up to a certain number, like five different variations or something. Or four different variations. Okay. Yeah. And you have, it's gonna be my birthday next week, so Yay. Make sure you get those radioactive sign m and ms for now.

For me, you remember my favorite type of m and m, the pretzel ones. So if you can do it on the pretzel ones, preferably. Oh, regular ones are fine too. Don't do it on the caramel ones. I'll, I'll stop talking to you forever. With the caramel ones, they're too cheery, but I, I think they only do it with the regular ones.

Okay. I don't think they do. I can, I can handle the classics. I think it's the classic ones that they, I haven't been in the m and m store in a while, in ages. I don't know what's popular there now, but yeah. Okay. Yeah. But anyway, totally off topic. Anyway. I was gonna say, what's interesting to me is, so there are a couple questions and both of your parents or Japanese from Japan.

Yes. Yes they are. And so were they with you in America, or you went with family and then came back? Well, yeah, it's, my father was a banker, so actually I wasn't born in the US or Japan. I was born in South Africa of all places. And my sister and I were both born there. But yeah, because my father's job took him there and mm-hmm.

I was born in South Africa and Yeah. To two Japanese parents and Okay. And because of his job, we lived in Japan for maybe six months before we moved to the us. Mm-hmm. And so most of my childhood was in the us. And I was here until probably sixth grade and then I moved back to Japan.

Okay, so, so my question with that is. I dunno how to word this right, but it's interesting that your parents let you get chubby, like, like, because it, it seems like they would've had a, a high standard of watching your diet or like scolding you. Like did they make fun of your weight as well or they were just like, you're our daughter, we love you.

We don't care about the petite standard, the beauty standard, or how was your relationship with your parents in regard to your weight? Huh? Well, my mom really, uh, well after I started gaining the weight, right, yeah. She really tried to help me. She. Gosh, she took me to different places. I remember going to a doctor's office and the doctor telling me, oh, we have to put you on a diet, you know this.

He told me like, basic nutrition. And he would go through the book, this book, and he would say, okay, you know, this is basic nutrition. Try to get as many, try to get. These are carbohydrates, these are proteins, these are, you know, fruits and vegetables. And I, he, he told me the whole thing in dairy, and I remember him telling me, you know, fruits and vegetables are great, but be careful with the fruits because they are sugar eventually.

Right. Blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, okay. And, and he tried to help me. And so my mom and I, you know, worked with that. And she tried to help me quite a bit with it because she knew that I was getting, I was miserable. Right. And I did put on like quite a bit of weight right after. Probably, yeah. In that one, one or two years after I came back and went back to Japan.

So because I was just miserable and then, then I would get teased and you know, all that. So yeah, she really tried to help me. My dad was, didn't say much because he was always busy with work. It was typical Japanese dad. Right. You know, just work home, work home. And on the weekends it was either he was, he had to be with his work people or things like that.

So he wasn't, it was just typical Japanese, he wasn't that present. Right. But you know, he was my dad, so Right. Yeah, so my mom really tried to help me a lot, but you know, we, my sister and I, we both had a lot of culture shock and readjustment to Japanese society because we weren't familiar with it. We spoke the language somewhat, right?

Because my mom, um, made it a point to speak Japanese when we lived here in the US right? And so we could speak the language, we could understand a lot of it, but we couldn't, we weren't up to the standard that we should have been up to for our grades and all this and that. So we had a lot of catching up to do, and so we didn't quite fit in, basically.

And so that was really, really tough for us. And, and we were more, it was more about the fitting in and then I. I was in, my sister and I were both in Japanese public schools when we first went back to Japan. Right. And you know, it was quite obvious that we didn't fit in. And so my, I remember my sixth grade home, yeah.

Homeroom teacher said, talk to my mom. And she said, I think your child would be better off going to an international school. So that's, yeah. So my sister and I ended up going to an international school after that, which actually helped us because it, we, we thrived, you know, we more or less there because everyone spoke English and that was the main language that was spoken in the schools.

And then outside of the school you were able to speak Japanese. So it worked out for the best for us. Yeah. Wow. And was your sister also a tomboy and like. Not so much as me. Okay. She was more, she was smarter. She would see me getting into trouble and she would be like, oh, I should just avoid that. Right.

You know, because I mean, yeah, she was observant, so she said, oh, I shouldn't do that because you know, my older sister is getting in trouble for saying things like that or doing things like that. So she was the smart one. Yeah. Well then you did the role of older sibling perfectly, where you're like, this is what not to do, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Because that's kind of why we exist. Yes, yes. And that's awesome. Yeah. So I learned a lot, you know, and I mean, I don't, you know, think that's just who I am and of course. I studied really well. I studied a lot when I was in international school and then went to college in Japan, so, and worked for a Japanese company for a year, which was probably not the best choice on my, my end.

And that's why I also went to, then I went to grad school in the US so, well, photography school. Well, it feels like with brain to belly, you're kind of doing everything altogether. You're a businesswoman, you are doing photo, visual work, artwork, and you're connecting with people and helping them with their diet.

So you kind of like, you're now the embodiment of your, your entire life put together. And your business woman who doesn't have to deal with like the, the grades and some of the, the paperwork stuff and the more headache stuff. It's kind of like, you know, you're the founder, right. A as far as I am understanding, right.

Yeah. So it's like. So it is a bit different than, than working for a company, you know? Yeah. Well I've worked for, you know, corporate America for a long time and you know, that's okay as years of your life. Yeah. And, but I don't mind, I learned so much, you know? Right. I learned and I had wonderful, I really had wonderful bosses who really helped me to grow.

And I mean, I've had my share of, you know, poopy bosses. Yeah. For lack of a better word. But, you know, it's all a learning experience. I learned quite a bit. Right. And, you know, there, there are things that I miss about, you know, like having a con a consistent paycheck and having health insurance and having that, you know, you're kind of like protected when you're in a company.

Right. And when you're not, you're kind of like on your own. And you know, the wolves can get to you if you let them. And, but I, I'm happy now. I'm happier than I was when I was in corporate America. That's good. Yeah. Because I get to do my own thing and I get to do what I love, which is the coaching to help people, you know, with their issues with food and the way they see themselves.

Because, you know, seeing a lot of women put the, I know men too, but a lot of people feel that, you know, they're not good enough. They don't, and looks are so valued in society that Right. It puts a lot of strain on people to look a certain way, to act a certain way. And, you know, I understand. When you're younger, definitely when you're in your twenties and thirties, you really want to fit in.

Fitting in is so important, right? Because it, you know, and I understand because I wanted to fit in all the time, but I never could really fit in. So I kind of learned to, maybe I had a chip on my shoulder. I don't know. I learned to kind of embrace who I am in a lot of ways, in, in a little bit. But then I tried to also try to fit in and put on these different masks, right.

And those masks didn't help me at all. I mean, I could fit in for a while and I could pretend like, you know, when you acting Yeah. I can act and be, pretend that I was like a good Japanese, uh, student or a good Japanese worker, female worker. Right? But then I was always rebellious in one way or another. So like I used to be a used American spirit.

Yeah, I like that. Yeah. Yeah. I used to be a smoker. Right. And in Japan at the time. Women weren't supposed to be smoking that much. And of course, you know, I'm like, yeah, who cares? Blah, blah, blah. And so I used to do that. And then I would try to do things that I guess, you know, women weren't supposed to do certain things.

And I'll be like, well, I'm gonna do it. I don't care. Right. And I think that rebellious part was always in me. So that kind of like hindered a few things. And, and that's why I think I, I felt like I never fit in because I would never conform. Yeah. And I tried to conform in a lot of ways. I really did. I tried.

Right. But there's a saying in Japanese that the nail that sticks out gets hammered down. And I was always the nail that stuck out. Right. So I always got hammered down. So I learned from that. I learned a lot from being hammered down. And I guess that's why I am a lot stronger because of that, and maybe a lot resilient because of that.

And that's why I try not to dwell on the, on the past or dwell on things that didn't work out for me and try to look at, you know, that's why I think photography appealed to me because you could change your perspective in photography. A photograph can be taken from this angle and it'll be one thing. And if it's taken from this angle, it's another thing.

Right? Or the sides, you get different angles and you get different perspectives. And that's what fascinated me about photography and I guess art in general. And when you start viewing life, your life like that, it's like, oh, okay, I can look at it a different way. And that kind of relates to brain, to belly in that brain to belly is changing the way you think because we can rewire our brain to think differently.

You know, I, I suffered from depression for a long time because of all of what I went through as well, right? And coaching really helped me with that as well. And of course, you know, the personal development thing, and I learned that you can really change your brain chemistry. You can change the way that your brain is wired.

Because if you think of your brain like a computer, it's like the CPU of a computer, right? If you don't put in the right operating system, it's not gonna work. Right? You know, a computer doesn't work if you put in the wrong operating system for that type of computer. And if you put in the wrong software, you know, software that's not compatible, it's not going to work.

And that's kind of like my thinking with Brain to Belly, is that if you put in the right stuff in your thoughts. The actions you take will be more in aligned with the software that you put in. Right. Kind of, or with what you have. So that's kind of like what I try to do and try to teach. And that's what I teach.

Yeah. Okay. And that's what I try to coach people on, is to shift that mindset. Yeah. So you heard it here, ladies and gentlemen. Your brain is a computer and bringing the belly is an amazing program that you should download today and, you know, play on your computer to, to help you. But yeah. Yeah. Yo, you know, we've talked a lot about your past Great, great stories.

Hopefully maybe off mic you'll share some more of the fighting and all that. But you know, what I wanna know about, now that I'm sure our listeners wanna know is, you know, more of the, of the present and, and the future. So kind of tell us about what you're doing now and then where you see yourself going with all of this.

Um, you can say, I don't know. That's a good answer too. You know, like, I don't know. I'm just, I'm trying, I know, I know, I know where I want to go. I know what I'm doing right now is I'm building my business really brain to belly. The Facebook group is a group that I, is a private group that I have on Facebook where, like I said, you know, I invite people to join so that they can learn different tools or different methods that they can use to become harmonious in the brain and the belly, because everything is connected, right?

Your brain and your organs and everything. And I'd like to, I like to say that let's say your brain, your heart and your belly, they're all connected with hoses, let's say like garden hoses for example, right? If they're like that circuits, and let's say you run water through it, if there's a kink in one of the hoses, Hmm.

Right? What happens? You run the water, it gets stuck in one place and it doesn't flow all the way. So what I try to do with Brain to Belly is create pathways. If it means creating a different pathway, yes, we could do that. Or UNC kinking those kinks so that everything can run smoothly and harmoniously because we, you know, as humans and living here, I think it's our right to be happy and to live a happy life.

And it comes down to, sometimes it comes down to choices that we make, and being aware that there are other alternatives out there and brain to belly. What I try to do is get as many people as I can, I interview them and we hear about different methods because one size doesn't fit all. I. That's my thinking is that, you know, I don't believe in diets.

I believe that there are ways of living, the ways that you can live your life and, you know, diet is more used as a word for what you, what you consume and how you consume it. But I don't believe that you should restrict your, you know, caloric intake and do this and do that. It's, it's not about being restrictive and strict about things.

It's being able to sustain a lifestyle that's going to be healthy. Because at the end of the day, we want everything running smoothly so that you can be healthy and happy and Right. And yeah. Right. And when you talked about the exercise bulimic, I actually didn't. You do that as too unhealthy. When you said, my life was about exercise and eating and eating, I was like two of my favorite things.

But there was no balance saying. So what you're talking about is that, that that harmony, that balance rather than diet. And, and I totally agree with that. And so yeah, if someone wants to have you as like a transformative coach in their life to help them create these pathways and look at these different angles that only a photographer such as yourself with pieces and museums can, uh, capture those angles for us.

How do we reach out to you? Well, you can find me in the Facebook group, brain to Belly see. Brain to Belly, and you can also find me on LinkedIn is my full name. Mm-hmm. Yay. And I'm also on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and I do have a YouTube channel as well. That's brain to belly. So I didn't even, I didn't know about that.

That's awesome. Yeah, but I'm, I'm not quite sure with my YouTube thing, because I'm still working on that. So, and I do have a website. It's YKO coaching and, and yes. So I do have all of that. You can get in touch with me through that, or you can get in touch with Mr. Whiskey and say, Hey, you know, I heard about this woman talking about Brain to Belly.

I'd love to get in touch with her. I'm gonna say, I don't know who you're talking about. Never. Yeah. Never heard of her. Yeah. Talk about m and ms and all that. I was gonna say, but I can tell you about Spicy Water. Yes, you can. I've gotten, I've gotten some remarks about that, that were, people think it's stupid, you know, they were like, that doesn't sound healthy.

I was like, well, what do you know? Do you have a six pack? And so I just leave it at that. But yeah. So ladies and gentlemen, yeah, of course, all the information will be in the description below stuff, but, yay. We're, we're curious. So kind of like. What is your relationship with food nowadays and, and, you know, what's the lifestyle you're living and what angle are you looking at it?

Um, wow, now I'm in harmony with it. I don't obsess about food. Like, you know, when I was in that eating disorder part, it was like all I thought about was either eating and exercising, eating and exercise. How am I gonna burn off what I ate? Were you always hungry? 'cause EE, even as much as I love food, there comes a point where it's like I'm full.

Like I can't think about food, don't make me sick. But were you just like, I can think about food no matter what? Yeah, and then I would over and at times I would overeat and make it so painful too. Oof. So that was another way that I was hurting myself, punishing myself with food. So yeah, it was a lot of hurting myself with food and hurting myself with exercise as well.

At one point what happened was I sprained my ankle when I was exercising and I couldn't exercise for a while. And that kind of put me into that, right? I need help thing. And that's when I sought out help, because I knew I, I always knew I had a problem, but you know, it didn't, you didn't wanna admit it.

Yeah. You, you didn't wanna do the upper body workouts. I know, I know. Not stereotyping, but most women will do leg day, they'll do cardio, but you're like, let's do some pull ups, let's do some bicep curls. They're like, no, no, no, no, we're good. I love bicep curls. Okay, yeah, I love those. You also wore jeans and, and punch boys in school, so it kind of matches, matches the profile.

No shame, no shame. List listeners who's just listening to the podcast, she's trying to hide her head down and shame, you know? No shame. So, yeah. You know, but, but now it's balance. I eat, I don't restrict myself. Like no food is off limits. Really? Because there shouldn't be. Yeah, there shouldn't be unless it's I'm allergic to it.

Right. You know, unless I'm allergic. Device. Device. Yeah. Yeah. Unless I'm allergic to it, I, you know, and I'll try most things, but, so things look gross and I don't, I wouldn't try 'em in bugs. I've, I've, I've, I've eaten some bugs. I remember in middle school we had this international, like World Cuisine day and, and, and one of the people representing the Chinese culture had this bowl of, of bugs.

Like, like, I mean, I can't, oh, I forget. People just listen to this show. For those of you just listening, it's like smaller than your fingernail. And you would just eat them like M and mss, you know, you would just eat them. And they were like empty. They were flavorless. I tried it, of course, 'cause it's like, I don't know.

Very go. It was probably to impress squirrels. I was like, I don't what other reason what I have to be like, yeah, I'll eat these bugs. Like, I'm not doing it for myself. But I've seen people like. There are cultures that will eat different types of bugs. Yeah. We were like, nothing's off limits. So I was like, well, what, what about the bugs?

Because like, I may have not knowing it. Well, yeah, I, yeah, I mean, my mom, that's funny you say that. My mom was eating a brownie and it, it broke apart a little bit and she reached on the ground and, and grabbed one of the brownie crumbs to eat at five second rule. And it was a lady bug and she ate this lady bug and she said it, oh, it was one of the worst tastes in her mouth she's ever had, you know, like eating this random lady bug.

And when I was younger, I had this little book, like the, the guy's journal that someone had gotten it as a Christmas gift, probably the grandma, you know, and it had all these weird facts in it. And one was, it said the average human being swallows eight spiders a year while sleeping. And I was like, well, who's, who's counting this?

Who did this? Where's the case study for this? You know? Yeah. And who had the time to, to study accidentally. Yeah. But, uh, so that was interesting. I was wondering what you ate day to day, if you had like a certain. But it sounds like you just live life and you know how to, what kind of exercise you need, what kind of mindset you need, what kind of I, yeah.

I usually eat healthy though. I mean, I try to get my five fruits and vegetables in and like a daily thing. That's a, that's a lot of fruits and vegetables. So I was gonna say I got maybe five in a year. Five servings? Five servings. Oh, okay. Of fruits and vegetables. A a day. And then what I usually do is, I don't know the, the plate, you know, you divide it in half and half is usually fruits of veggies, right?

Or fruit or like the food plate? Yeah, just the regular plate. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I just divide it, you know, half is fruits and veggies and a quarter, quarter for protein and carbohydrates and maybe a little dairy and you know, I try to keep it like that more, more or less. And you know, I have a sweet tooth, so I like my sweets.

I think the other day I had a real hankering for, I had a real hankering for ice cream, so I went out and got, I love, these are so good. The Haagen Dots, Magnum ice creams with the, the caramel on the inside. Yes. That one, that one out. I used be an ice cream salesman, and so that was the first time I tried it.

I was like, Ooh, this is good. I, because I was always a team Choco taco enthusiast, right. Ah-huh. But I was like, lemme try this, this, this Magnum one. And I was like, all this is good. Right? This is good. Yeah. I found that by accident one time. And there's a deline near my house that has them, but they don't have it all the time.

So I had a hankering for it. I was like, oh, I wonder if they have it. And they had two left. So I bought both. Did you get both of them? Yeah, I got both of them. I ate one and I gave one to my friend. Oh, okay. Yeah. I said, and the ice cream truck was coming up to my street when I was heading home. And my friend was just about to go to the ice cream truck to get ice cream.

So I said, wait, wait, wait. I have something for you. And I gave him the ice cream. Yeah. But yeah, it's okay. So I do eat that. Do you like the, the chip witch? The, the cookie ice cream sandwich? 'cause I love that. The, the chip witch. It's a tanned cookie, vanilla ice cream tan cookie. And then there's all chocolate chips surrounding the outside of, of the ice cream.

I used to sell those, those were more expensive. But I love those. They actually have different versions. So you can get it as an Oreo where the, the cookie is, is like Oreo. You can get one where there's m and ms instead of chocolate chips. Oh. They have a American holiday one, which is red, white, and blue m and m's cookie ice cream sandwich.

So of course I love that. Have, now I have a Hankerin personal ice cream, you know, and I gotta try you, you mentioned that Ben and Jerry's. I, you said the flavor. I was like, I don't even know what that is. Oh, cherry Garcia. It's there. It's. It's a, yeah, it's a pretty famous flavor and it is vanilla ice cream that has bits of cherries in it, dark cherries in it.

Yeah. I see. That's, I don't know that. And then it has, and that's, and it has little slivers of chocolate in it. Oh, that actually sounds pretty good. But, um, yeah, 'cause I know there's a, Ben and Jerry's down the street, actually not too long ago, at the time of this recording, they did free Ben and Jerry's day.

So I went and got whatever they had. The, the line was down the sidewalk. It was free Ben and Jerry's at all participating in locations and yeah, I, I went, I can't remember what flavor I got now 'cause I, it is hard. Anytime I go to an ice cream store, it's always like the most difficult choice. 'cause it's like, there's so many different flavors that I like.

There's like, I like pieces of brownie, but I also like cookie dough. I like cake batter, I like coconut. And you can only only combine all these flavors. And I went to Florida the other day and got froyo for the first time in like a year and a half, two years. And I should have just stuck with the cake batter flavor only.

But they had a pineapple dole, like the, the drink as a froyo. It was so strong and overpowered everything. It tasted like, it tasted like the pineapple juice, which is the point. But it was like the pineapple was so strong that I couldn't taste anything else. And they had like, they had some crazy flavors.

Like same with the, the, you know, slushies, anywhere I go they've got like chocolate chur, chocolate covered churro, you know, flavor ice cream. I'm like, what does that even mean? Or, but it usually I'll go with peanut cada or coconut or anything that has like cookie dough or cake batter, whatever. Yeah, totally.

Totally. Uh, side ramp. But like you said, ice cream is not off limits. Right. If you just gotta change and, and you know, I have my, I have like chocolate. That's your dairy. Yeah. That right. That's what you meant when you, you said you have a serving a dairy. Well, yeah, that's not really a dairy, but that's like a treat.

That's a treat. And so I balance it out, you know, I always balance things out. So it's like in, you know, we always say choose between alcohol, sweets, carbohydrates, and it, you know, it's a choice. Make a choice in one meal. I was gonna say, are you gonna have all three? I know how to get all three at once, but that's dangerous.

I mean, I've done that before, but you know, it's probably not the healthiest. And then so, you know, balance it out the next meal, have more fruits and vegetables, you know, and so you used to have carbonated sweetss with a cigarette, so Yes. I, I used to tell, I, I think you said you used to have like a Diet Coke or Pepsi whenever you had a cigarette.

Diet Coke. And I was like Diet coke. Yeah, I remember that. I was like, diet, it tastes different than Pepsi, so. Oh, well I don't drink any. Brown based sodas except for root beer. Birch beer, right? Like is That's beer. Oh yeah. Especially in a glass bottle too. If you give me soda in a glass bottle, I'm in heaven.

Like we used to have steward's, root beer floats by my house and it would get the orange cream soda in the glass bottle. Like that's the bougie living, like the fancy, like in a can't. Because I was raised in a household where soda was a treat, it was a party only. Mm. If I went to a restaurant, maybe I could get a ginger ale, 'cause that's high class people soda, you know?

Um, but I was never like Coca-Cola or Pepsi and Ra Dr. Pitt or Mr. Pitt, whatever. They got all kinds of crazy stuff. Yeah. I, now that I lived down south, I just have sweet tea, which also isn't the best for you. Yeah. My buddy lost his teeth to sweet tea over in Mississippi. Sweet Tea and Skittles. The cost of his teeth.

Yeah. He has dentures now, but, uh, yes, yes. And I'm very good example. I'm the super sweet tea, like extra sweet, like. More people will say, I had some tea on my sugar. You know, like, oh my God. Yeah. But yeah. You, uh, one last question for, well, probably not, but one of the last questions would be, what is your relationship with exercise nowadays?

So you were over exercising. Oh, yes. You hurt yourself, you're recovered. Yes. Where are you at now? I, I worked with a really great exercise physiologist and she helped me to change my perspective on exercise. I, I remember when we, I was working with her, she said to me, do you remember when you were a kid and you just used to run around and have fun?

You know, just moving. Right. And I was like, yeah. 'cause I loved, you know, running around and moving climbing trees, you know, pretending I was Spider-Man, you know, all these things. Right. Okay. Interesting. And, and I used to love doing that, so I. I used to love jumping up on the trampoline, you know, jumping on the trampoline and things like that.

And so she got me to look at exercise, more like activity, doing things I love to do. So it was like walking, you know? And right now I have a dog, so I walk her and I kind of run and walk with her also. Do you know my, I have my dumbbells in that apartment, so I use that to work out. I don't go to the gym because I hate going to the gym.

And that been, what is, why is that? That that could be because of my ex-husband. I don't know. He was a gym rat. He would wake up at five 30 or Oh, okay. Five in the morning, every day and go to the gym and he'd have to get that done every day, six days a week, you know, blah, blah, blah. Was he kind of yelled too?

He was like. We're gonna a gym like hoorah kind of spirit? No, he never made me do it, but he made me feel guilty not going so, or I made myself feel guilty not going. But anyway, so I kind of like still have an aversion to going to gym. Plus I've, you know, I'm the typical, okay. I sign up for the gym and I never go type of person who waste the money and then I regret it.

Right? So that's why I said, after a while I said, no, this is stupid. Don't, just don't join anything. Right. Yoga, the only thing that I did join that I used to go to a lot was yoga, because I love yoga. Ooh. So I do too. Yoga. I still do my yoga. Yoga is tough, ladies and gentlemen, I've said it before on this show.

It is, it will leave you sore, especially if you've never done yoga before, because these are like muscle groups that get activated that you're like, wow. It's like, whew, this is, this is tough. I wanna, I want to start doing it once a week or once a month at least, because. I do compete in five Ks and stuff, and I'm one of those athletes where I lift weights and I run, but I don't stretch and then I get injured.

So yoga will force me to stretch. And, and, and I, I do like it. And especially I've done some yoga meditation practices too, which are nice too. It's kind of, yeah, those are great. And it helps. Yeah. Yeah. And I love yoga, so I do yoga. I have, I do my, you know, weightbearing exercises while I'm walking the dog or while I'm at home, maybe watching a Netflix show or something.

I'll be, I'll be doing these or I'll be doing other things, you know, and that's, you know, that's the way I do my activity. And then, you know, go to some, I haven't been to a yoga class in a while, but, and I wanted to get into kickboxing because I. That's good. I just want to do that 'cause it sounds like it's fun.

So I might wanna, well, we have your next tournament, we'll definitely get you on before we'll do a, a pre-recording and a post recording. Hopefully the post recording isn't, you know, black eyes and you're like crying and hopefully it's like I won, I destroyed everyone. I tapped into my, my teenage self and all that rebellion, all that tomboy came out on, on, on the, I guess the fighting ring wherever y'all fight.

Yeah. And, um, we'll, we'll see, we'll see if I get into that or not, but, you know, that's something I'm interested in. But I'm definitely, you know, I like moving my body. Um, you know, and of course I like going to, I go kayaking occasionally. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. Which I love to do. I love kayaking. Yeah. And I love hiking, you know, that's always something I like.

So I. Yeah. And New York's the perfect place for that. New York, New Jersey. Most people don't realize how mountainous it is. They just think of the cities in New Jersey and New York City. But having grown up in New Jersey, 40 minutes south of New York, you know, I used to hike all the time. There was a 1200 foot mountain near my backyard with an abandoned castle at the top where you could see all the New York City.

In fact, one of my books take place there. But anyway, uh, a little tease. But yeah, I love hiking and, and people don't realize how much work it is. And I wanna get into rock climbing, which is like a step up from that. I would like to, I'd like to try that, but I'm just a little worried because I'm a little scared of heights and that yeah, I might be able to climb up, but then getting down, I might be, can't get back.

Terrified. Can't, yeah. That, that kind of sounds like me. So, yeah. But yeah, you know, those are things I'd like to try and I just like, you know, I'm curious, I like to go out in nature. I, I love taking walks in the park. Definitely. And, okay. I love swimming. Wow. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. And if, I know they had this show where it's like, you know, the game tag where you tag someone, you're, it, I know they have like an adult, like serious competition on, on the television.

So if I sign up, I'll, I'll bring you guys my partner. Sounds like you're, sounds like something you like to do. 'cause you're talking about your exercise physiologist said, Hey, like, just when you were a kid, just move your and, and just having fun. So. Yay. Yo, it sounds like you're preparing for a lot of things.

So if I, if, if I have a, need, a partner to compete with me, either on American Ninja Warrior or the, uh, extreme, I don't think, I, I don't tag, I've got you as number one spot and then I don't have too many backups, so, so don't let me down here. I don't think so. Start training. Yeah. I gotta really train that, but I just like to move.

I, you know, and sometimes I'll just get in the mood, like to listen to music and I'll just start dancing, you know. Ooh. Oh, and somebody is here to my front door. Okay. So I'm gonna have to let them in. Well, actually, I mean, this is perfect. You've already said where to find you and everything, so we will let you go.

Ladies and gentlemen. Thank Ms. Yayo. Thank you.