This episode features the incredible, Margot Touitou, aka @margotexplainsitall. In it, you will be listening in on an actual coaching call and consultation, which is a part of the boudoir process for every single one of my clients.
Our collaboration has been a long time coming, and it’s just an honor to be able to be on this journey with Margot. We talk about her social media platform, online trolls, feminism, Israeli culture, vanity, doing things for ourselves, redefining sexy, and making an impact in the world.
Follow Margot on Instagram and TikTok and be sure to check out her podcast: Kiss and Tel Aviv
I would love to hear from you on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/rebeccasigalaboudoir
This episode features the incredible, Margot Touitou, aka @margotexplainsitall. In it, you will be listening in on an actual coaching call and consultation, which is a part of the boudoir process for every single one of my clients.
Our collaboration has been a long time coming, and it’s just an honor to be able to be on this journey with Margot. We talk about her social media platform, online trolls, feminism, Israeli culture, vanity, doing things for ourselves, redefining sexy, and making an impact in the world.
Follow Margot on Instagram and TikTok and be sure to check out her podcast: Kiss and Tel Aviv
I would love to hear from you on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/rebeccasigalaboudoir
Hey everyone. Welcome back to the Body Image Revolution. I'm so freaking excited. Today I am about to share with you a unique and actually very profound episode. It's a coaching call, an actual real life coaching call for Margot Touitou of Margot Explains It All. She is hilarious, and she is extremely witty. She's an influencer on Instagram and TikTok, as well as a host of her very own podcast, kiss and Tel Aviv. She's also an amazing social media coach and consultant. We really share a lot of the same values when it comes to women related issues and Zionism. I've really always loved the way that she sees things and just her funny and unapologetic nature. So I'm really happy that we're doing this collaboration together. It's going to be a full boudoir experience, which. Has been a long time coming. We've been talking about it for a long time, and through doing this together, we will be sharing this entire process from the coaching call to shopping for her lingerie, to personal preparations to her actual session. In my studio, which is happening next month, and I'm so excited. I am really just enjoying every moment of working with her, and I know it will be the same for you as you listen to this podcast and hopefully follow her incredible journey on social media. Hello? Hello.
Margot Touitou:Hi my dear. How are you?
Rebecca Sigala:I'm good. How are you doing?
Margot Touitou:Good.
Rebecca Sigala:Good. I am so excited to dive into this coaching call and consultation with you. We have so much to talk about and I think we'll just get started. So, Can I ask you, I know that this is a collaboration that we're doing together, and you and I both have very strong values about the messages that we want to get out in the world. But if you put that aside for a moment and think about why you want to have this boudoir experience, why do you personally want to do it?
Margot Touitou:I wanna do the boudoir experience because I. At the risk of sounding vain, I love photo shoots. I love having my photo taken. I think it's such a fun experience and I want to do something sexy and elegant and really just have a fun time and be on camera and do a photo shoot. I think it sounds
Rebecca Sigala:That's amazing.
Margot Touitou:Incredible. Yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. Have you ever done anything like that before in an intimate setting like that? Like lingerie or artistic nudity?
Margot Touitou:I did a boudoir shoot for an ex-boyfriend years ago, and it was, It was interesting. I was living in New York City at the time and I didn't really have a lot of close friends. It was hard for me to make friends in the city, so there wasn't really anybody that I could bring along with me to encourage me, and there wasn't anybody really to talk to about it. And I. I wasn't even sure if it was something that was gonna be well received by my now ex-boyfriend. And
Rebecca Sigala:it was like a surprise for him.
Margot Touitou:It was. It was. We were in a long distance relationship and I wanted him to have a sexy souvenir from our trip. Souvenir. Yeah. And I think he really liked him, but we didn't stay together. I have no idea what happened with the photos, and it wasn't the most elegant experience. The studio was a little dingy, right. The photographer was kind of just trying to, I think, get in and out, and the makeup was not good. It was not good, so I ended up choosing a black and white photo because the color photo. Did not make me feel beautiful at all.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm. You're saying all of the color photos you didn't like because of the way the makeup was, or just like everything altogether?
Margot Touitou:Yeah. There was something about the black and white that I did appreciate. I did like it sort of added what candlelight kind of adds in real life. Mm-hmm. And I loved the way that it looked. I also love. Black is one of my favorite colors, if you call it a color. And so I'm,
Rebecca Sigala:I love black and white.
Margot Touitou:Me too. I'm drawn to that kind of look anyways, but I would like to have something maybe this time that is more colorful and vibrant.
Rebecca Sigala:How did, that boudoir session impact the way that you saw yourself, if at all?
Margot Touitou:There were only a few of the photos that were printed that I actually liked. I remember feeling sexier when I was taking the photos, and then when I saw them, I thought to myself, this doesn't look the way it's felt. I don't, it's sort of like when you have, maybe we all in our house have that skinny mirror or, which is probably, probably a talky thing, but it's a certain shape. It's our mirror. We know the lighting we're like, Yes, I look so good. We walk out the door, then we're walking down the street and we see our reflection in a store mirror or something, or we see a different mirror and we're like, that is what I look like. I dunno if I like that. And as someone who is a content creator online, that happens a lot when I'm not necessarily in control of the image or the video that's being taken of me. And I kind of have. This reverse dysmorphia where I look in the mirror, I, I like what I see, and then it's reflected back to me through a different angle and I'm going, that's not how I remember feeling.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. And so did you make that mean something about you? Not in like, I'm not judging you in any way because I think that photography has a huge impact on the way that people, and especially women see themselves. But when you saw those pictures, were you like, oh, that's just not a good photographer, or This is about me and I actually don't really know how I look and I can't really trust myself when I feel beautiful because I might not actually look that way.
Margot Touitou:I think it was a combination of both. I don't wanna be the person who doesn't like their photo and blames the tool, that old photography term, what is it? A good artist never blames the tools or something like that. Right. It's interesting that you say that because it almost sounds like it's a better position to blame yourself. Mm-hmm. Versus to blame the picture, even though that means that you have critical thoughts about yourself and your body. Yes, that's definitely true. But I did think that the approach to the photos could have been more artistic and feminine. It. It's not like they were out of the pages of hustler or anything like that, but they just didn't feel sophisticated. Mm-hmm. And I love for something to feel sophisticated and sexy and to show that it tasteful. Yeah. Or even. Everybody has different tastes. What does tasteful even mean? I just think for me that's so true. You know, when I said that, I was like, okay, I don't really know what that means. Like it can be really slutty and also very artistic and Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, exactly. And I would love to s sweaty in a good way. Totally. Everyone, that's a good word around here. I would just love for it to feel sophisticated and to feel the energy that I felt when I was taking the photos when I look at them and they're reflected back to me. Yeah. Yes. That is a really, really beautiful intention. How do you think having that mindset of this is actually not for a boyfriend or a partner or anybody else. This is for me and I want to have fun with it, and I want to feel aligned in terms of how I feel and how the pictures look and all of that. How does that change your experience for this time? Like mm-hmm. Do you know what I'm trying to say? Yeah, last time I did the boudoir experience, it was, it was almost 10 years ago, I think it was eight or nine years ago, and I didn't have an online platform, and I think I'm worried about people saying cruel things to me in the comments about if this is something you did just for yourself, then why do you need to put it on the internet? And
Rebecca Sigala:I kind of got it. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's really interesting. Yeah, so
Margot Touitou:I'm like, maybe they have a point. Sometimes when people say things and they hit you in a certain way, it makes you realize that maybe that's something you were already insecure about, so. Right. Well
Rebecca Sigala:I think that probably hits on that feeling of like feeling like it is something that is. Yeah.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. And that it is for validation and also I, I think about privacy. And now that my platform is growing and I've had more exposure recently, I want to inspire people and I wanna do something sexy because there's nothing wrong with that. And at the same time, I wanna feel like it's safe and that it's not going to be, Hypocritical or contradictory to why I'm doing this. I'm doing this for myself. Again, it begs the question, why post about on the internet?
Rebecca Sigala:That's a really, really good question. Well, I guess my first question that came up is why is the desire to feel sexy and to be seen actually not vain?
Margot Touitou:I don't know. I don't have an
Rebecca Sigala:answer for that. It's, you kind of think it's,
Margot Touitou:I think as women, there's so many. Contradictory messages that we're constantly receiving. Yeah. And it's if, if you're more modest or you're more shy, not that those two are the same thing, but just as an example, it's people see women in the Madonna Horror Complex and this dichotomy. Yes. And if you are being modest or reserved or more conservative in the way that you present yourself, then. You're a prude and you are rigid and you're stiff and you're no fun. But then if you do something sexy, obviously immediately you're, you're a whore. You want attention. You're doing this for male validation and your vein. It doesn't matter
Rebecca Sigala:what happens to you after that.
Margot Touitou:It doesn't matter what happens to you after that. You deserved it. You had it coming.
Rebecca Sigala:Oh, that hit me. Yeah. What does it mean to you to feel sexy? What emotions come up when you think about the last time that you felt really freaking sexy?
Margot Touitou:I feel for me, sexiness has an element of strength to it. It has an element of independence and mm-hmm I feel the sexiest when I'm not in the space where other people's opinions. Or they're gaze or their thoughts about me matter. Yeah. And that's been really hard lately, and we can talk about this either now or as we continue to speak on this call. It's been really hard lately because I recently got. A very personal wave of online hate, and every single comment was about my looks or about my character in terms of my worthiness.
Rebecca Sigala:What the hell is wrong with people?
Margot Touitou:I don't know. But I think, I think as women collectively become more. Strongly visible, more visible. I think one of the last things, there's this phenomenon known as the extinction burst. The extinction burst is kind of when old societal norms are falling apart and those who still adhere to those biases or those bigoted ideas. Express them even stronger in a burst right before they go extinct.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, I've heard about that. Yeah. Yeah, I really relate to that. I see that happening too.
Margot Touitou:Right. And I think where we're at now with women's equality and femininity being taken seriously in modern times, there's a wave of extra cruel behavior that's taking place. And I think that one of the last strongholds of that is, Men telling women that we're either whores or that were ugly because those are two things that historically have always been held against us and have always been used as fear tactics to make us feel small. And yeah,
Rebecca Sigala:it's, and they work. And
Margot Touitou:they work and they know that. And if we live in certain societies, thank God, unfortunately it's not true for all women around the world, but women are becoming more financially. Independent, contributing more financially to the world economy, and we're much more independent in terms of what we can do in our rights. And because of that, I think that the patriarchy and toxic masculinity, that energy still knows that we're. Still impacted when they call us ugly or when they call us fat, or when they insult our body or our sexuality or our worth with those, with those insults.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, and it seems like based on like kind of what we've been talking about in this conversation so far, It is this feeling of, I want to feel sexy. I have this desire to feel sexy and to be seen and to do whatever the fuck I want. And at the same time, there's these longstanding stories about women and prejudices and ways that we've been used against ourselves in a way that still affect us. And it seems like you're kind of going between the two to figure out. What do I actually want here and how can this actually be for me?
Margot Touitou:That's absolutely true. It's absolutely true. I think we're at a unique point in history that no woman has ever embarked on this path before, which is a beautiful, wonderful thing. I wouldn't choose any other time to be alive. It's also got its own unique challenges and experiences that there's no rule book, there's no, there's no guidebook. So we just have to kinda make our own rules because life's. Short Carpe
Rebecca Sigala:dms. Totally fuck it. Totally. And I'm also like, I'm also, I don't know about you and I think Israel's like this pretty traditional country. I live in a modern Orthodox community or D Lumi, and I don't feel like I'm sitting in this new paradigm that you speak of at all. I feel like. The opposite, and I'm like a pioneer or I'm paving the way in my own way, and so I was bumping up against that and bumping up against the grain feels really difficult and sometimes lonely. Do you experience that living in Tel Aviv or not as much?
Margot Touitou:Totally. Absolutely. That's why some of those comments hurt so much because I, I really love. Being single, being independent. It's not to say that I don't desire or crave loving partnership, but I've never been driven by relationships and you know, I'm, I'm not married. I don't have children. As a child-free woman, still, even in Tel Aviv, it feels like you're going against the grain if you either haven't done that yet or if you. Don't
Rebecca Sigala:ever wanna, people always have something to say about
Margot Touitou:it. Yeah. Even people who you might think are the most open-minded liberal, everyone's supportive. Yeah. I've got, I've, I've been told things by people that were the last folks I would expect to be critical of a woman who is child-free or unmarried.
Rebecca Sigala:Wow. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense for the culture and the country that we live in. Yeah. Sorry that you have to experience that so often.
Margot Touitou:Thank you. Well, I mean, luckily I have supportive people and I have folks like you in my life that mm-hmm. Are here to deliver this amazing gift to the world, and I get to be a part of that. So it's, it certainly helps. Yeah. And
Rebecca Sigala:it, it does feel good to be a part of something like that. And if you are a pioneer to find other people who, who have the same perspective as you and just kind of uplift each other. Yeah. Maybe not the same perspective in every way. Uh, yeah, that would,
Margot Touitou:but just like that would be boring. Yeah. That
Rebecca Sigala:would be boring. Mm-hmm. Okay. So back to this idea of sexy, you said that there's a strength to sex. You feel the sexiest when you're not in a space where other people's opinions or gaze or thoughts about you matter. What else? Like what other emotions come up when you imagine in your mind's eye, feeling sexy?
Margot Touitou:I think other emotions that come up when I imagine feeling sexy are it's, it's a looseness, it's a free flowing kind of energy. My. Natural tendency as a person and in my body, I'm very tense. I'm very tightly wound, and I hold a lot of my feelings in my body as we all do. Yeah. Yes.
Rebecca Sigala:Just talking about this today.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. I, I clench, I forget to breathe. I hold a lot of tension in my, in my upper, upper body, so when I feel very sexy. None of those things are present when I think
Rebecca Sigala:about it. Hmm. Like you lose your inhibitions a bit.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. And the tension melts away.
Rebecca Sigala:I feel like you're kind of describing what it means to be in the present moment, right?
Yes.
Rebecca Sigala:Beautiful. So strong. You have a looseness about you. Free flowing energy, not caring about what other people think about you. Your tension completely melts away and you're able to be in the present moment. Anything else? Yeah,
Margot Touitou:it's, if it had a taste, it would be rich and creamy and buttery. Almost like a, it, it would be like butter pecan ice cream. Ooh. It would be like a rich. Fall flavor come fall early.
Rebecca Sigala:Oh my God, I saw that. I so relate. I'm dying. Yeah. I'm dying for
Margot Touitou:autumn to come. Yes. Sexiness is like autumn. There's, there's, yeah. Yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:Yes. Okay. Like a cool
Margot Touitou:breeze. Uh, and then those like deep aromas that are rich and. Delectable and just yum.
Rebecca Sigala:Oh my gosh. So you've basically described what sexy means for you, and I think you answered your own question about is sexy vain. Do you
Margot Touitou:agree now that it's put in that framework, it's not vain when you go through and describe it using your own words and your own feelings, and you can put words to those. Vein didn't come up once when I was describing nothing.
Rebecca Sigala:It's like even the opposite, like literally the opposite. Like you're in a space where you're not even thinking about other people's thoughts. That's
Margot Touitou:wild. What a cool reframe.
Rebecca Sigala:I love that. Yeah. I think we're seeing like all of these images of what it means to be sexy and all these messages, and we don't take a moment to stop and think, okay, what is actually sexy for me? What does it feel like to be. Sexy versus let me fit into this societal box and continually feel that pressure of like never being enough, never being thin enough, never being sexy enough, and living with that on a daily basis, and always striving for something that was never even ours to begin with.
Margot Touitou:Yes, it was defined for us. You're absolutely right, and it's held against us all the time and held over our heads. And also it's like dangling a carrot in front of somebody because you can never get it. You can never achieve that. You didn't even make up the rules yourself. How are you supposed to know how to play the game? The rules aren't. How do you win? You don't seriously just pick it up
Rebecca Sigala:seriously. And so your desire to want to feel sexy and to be seen and do this photo shoot are for all of these reasons which are so deep and so beautiful and self-fulfilling and knowing you and the conversations that we've had, I would venture to say the reason why you want to share it is because you want other women to be able to experience that.
Margot Touitou:I do. And I think if you wanna have a experience that you want others to share, you have to have it yourself. And it's something I want for myself and
Rebecca Sigala:unapologetically.'cause you've been made to feel bad that you want it. Yeah. But if you reframe it like this and you're like, no, it actually really is for me and these amazing aromas and feelings in my body, then it's a completely different, a different thing altogether. Yeah. I agree. That's amazing. So if somebody does say, oh, I think this is vain, or you come across that thought in your mind again, what would you like to replace it with? I've
Margot Touitou:been realizing recently that sometimes my first instinct is to get defensive and to prove myself and to prove people wrong and to defend my actions and my beliefs and the things that I say and makes sense. Lately when I've been getting hate comments or people saying rude things to me, I give myself a little bit more time before I need to respond to it. And then I think about it. I'm not gonna lie, and I wanna come up sometimes with something witty or snap back. But then I just realize that if I leave it alone, it gets smaller and smaller and smaller.
Rebecca Sigala:'cause that doesn't have power over you at
Margot Touitou:all. Yeah, I don't have to give it any part of me. Yeah. And as tempting as it could be to want to defend myself and want to reply to comments like that, whether they're online or in real life, it doesn't require that it doesn't.
Rebecca Sigala:Right. And when you do have this certain belief in yourself or your values, you're able to come back to that when someone says something. Yeah. Terrible. And sure we're humans and it's not like nothing ever affects us, but it affects us to a much lesser degree. And we can just, like you said, leave it and move
Margot Touitou:on. Yes, I agree. And I think I'm at a point in my life and in my online career where sometimes when I get these waves of. Cruelty. It does give you a thick skin and you sort of reach a new level, and then you have to get to the next one, and each time you have to overcome something like that. Like what I've been experiencing recently with online hate. You realize that they're simply not. They're not true. Those things are not true, and the more you're solid in that, the less those comments bother you.
Rebecca Sigala:Right. Because part of it is like maybe agreeing with them a little bit.
Margot Touitou:Exactly. And let me just tell you something. When people say things about me being Jewish, It's laughable that you control the media or you, you are all plotting world domination. It's laughable.'cause you
Rebecca Sigala:know, deep in your bones, that's not true.
Margot Touitou:Exactly. If, if Jews controlled the media, I would've freed Britney ages ago. Okay.
Rebecca Sigala:Yes.
Margot Touitou:But so when I hear that kind of stuff, I know it's not true, so it just doesn't bother me and I can just, it's like right. But when I first started getting those comments, it really did because I was like, wow, people really think that's true. And when people say antisemitic things to me, it's, I'm not the only one that they're referring to. They just happen to see a Jew that they're saying it to. And that
Rebecca Sigala:you just gave them the opportunity to let out their antisemitism.
Margot Touitou:Right, and, and I know that they would say that to any Jewish person, but when people say things, Specific to me or specific to my appearance. Or specific to my character, that hurts. They're tapping
Rebecca Sigala:in on our deepest insecurities as women. Yeah,
Margot Touitou:like you said, they're Exactly, and that's still something I'm trying to get better at dealing with. I, I don't know, it's not really a natural experience for people to have. So what
Rebecca Sigala:if this thought that? This whole photo shoot is vain, comes up again. What would you wanna like for yourself? Not someone else says it, but it just comes up in your mind. What would you rather think about it?
Margot Touitou:I'm not sure if I have a specific idea of what to replace it with other than The first thing that comes to mind now is who fucking caress. Who cares of all the things people see on the internet, of all the things people watch in their private time. Is my boudoir photograph really the most explicit or offensive or downright nasty, right? No. The answer is no. If my presence or my body offends you, you can kindly leave. You don't have to stick around. That's the first thought, right? I'm not, which also it
Rebecca Sigala:does feel a little bit defensive. Right. I was just gonna say that. It does, it does feel defensive. I'm gonna call you out.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. So I don't know if you have any suggestions or, or advice on how to kind of replace that with something.
Rebecca Sigala:Well, I think it was everything that we spoke about, about what sexy really is to you. Like how can you remind yourself of that, that it actually, when you feel sexy, it really isn't about anybody else like deeply.
Margot Touitou:Right? Yeah. Yeah. That will take more practice, but it will be worth it.
Rebecca Sigala:So when you think in your mind, oh my gosh, is what I'm doing like wrong or vain and you wanna replace it with something, and maybe you don't fully believe it right now, but what would that be? Would it be, well, actually, Feeling is not about anybody else but me, or feeling sexy is meaningful and important, or I'm doing this for myself. And then I also want other women to experience it. Like what resonates with you the most?
Margot Touitou:Something about it being personal and just reminding myself that it's up to me to determine what's sexy and how I can convey that
Rebecca Sigala:I'm not sure how to, it's up to me. It's up to me to determine what is sexy like that is. So freaking powerful.
Margot Touitou:There you go. There it is. We hit it.
Rebecca Sigala:We hit it. So good. So freaking good. And then I think what might be helpful, I don't know if you resonate with this, but just literally going through this process, For your personal self. Of course we're sharing parts of it and whatever, but really allowing yourself to be in that sexy energy, to be present and to be vulnerable and be yourself so that you can get the most out of it, like literally just for you. And then the decision to share, first of all, it's not just like out of your hands, like I'm not just gonna share any picture and do whatever I want with all of this stuff. Like, this is you, you get to make the decisions about what you want to share and how you want to share it. Yeah. Which is huge, but not, it's not huge. It's. It. That's how it should be. Well,
Margot Touitou:yeah, it is huge.
Rebecca Sigala:So when you have that aspect of like, okay, this is personal sharing, it is like something completely different and you can kind of approach it that way where it's like, okay, I did this thing for me and now I'm choosing to share it. Does that make sense? I love that.
Margot Touitou:I love that because that's where your light, when it's shining. Can illuminate the path for someone else who might really, really need it. And,
Rebecca Sigala:and you and I both know that very well.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. Yeah. So ultimately this is something that begins with, with my desire to do it and with my definition of what sexy is for me, and. Can result in something being shared with other women that can be a helpful reminder to them and, and spark a little bit of not only just helpful,
Rebecca Sigala:but. Yeah, we've been robbed of our autonomy, of our internal power, and it's not to sit here and be like, oh, we're the victims. Like we can't do anything about it. Like that's what we're doing now. And you're showing people this is a path to empowerment. This is a path to owning what it means to feel sexy and to be in my body and to do whatever the hell I want.
Margot Touitou:Mm-hmm. I love it. So
Rebecca Sigala:good. Okay, so now I'd like to kind of transition over to like the wardrobe consultation and styling consultation of this whole thing. Yeah. Which is really, really fun. Yes. So excited and I love that you described what sexy is and then you even went into like visuals of like rich creamy butter and butter pecan ice cream and ball and like deep aromas that are really rich and. Delicious, and I'm wondering how we can take your definition of sexy and express that in the shoot.
Margot Touitou:Okay. So for me, one of the things that sexy also is for me is fun. It's fun when you feel sexy. You're usually having fun. You're loose. Yeah. You're going with it. And there's a quirkiness and a lightheartedness about it that, mm-hmm. I want it to feel sophisticated, but also energetic and
Rebecca Sigala:vibrant and fun. I like that you mentioned that because like this whole process and journey that I lead people through, sometimes people are a little bit nervous to enter it because they're like, what's gonna come up? Like, is this gonna be. So emotional that I won't be able to handle it. And what I always say is, first of all, people get to decide how much they wanna share and where they wanna go with their experience. But also we can talk about these deep important elements of yourself and insecurities and all of that. And then we can also still have this session be. Fun and lighthearted and just like free and liberated, and it's not that they're opposite of each other. That actually is part of the healing. Mm-hmm.
Margot Touitou:I think that's beautiful. I would love to experience that in the
Rebecca Sigala:shoot. Yeah. Like a lot of women, they'll, you know, tell me their story and share their, their thoughts about themselves and their insecurities and all of that. But then they still really do wanna just like have fun. Yeah.'cause how many opportunities do we have to like, have fun and sexy is fun.
Margot Touitou:Yes. I really looking forward to that. Just the fun of it all, just to feel like a model for a day, you know?
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. Okay. So you want it to be quirky and fun and lighthearted, and I think that really fits into the free flowing energy that you mentioned.
Margot Touitou:Yeah, and I also want elements of it to be edgy and kind of sultry too, very much.
Rebecca Sigala:Okay, so what does that mean to you, that fun quirkiness and the edgy and sultry, like, how would you describe that in an image?
Margot Touitou:Okay. Obviously if you've known me for five minutes, most people know that I'm a huge Taylor Swift fan. I'm a huge swifty. To me. Love it. It's kind of the reputation era, the aesthetics of the reputation era. There was still a lot of fun to be had, and there's still a lot of vibrant, poppy, energetic. Fun songs on that album, but aesthetics wise, she was black and white and red, and she had her, her wavy hair and she was rocking her black lipstick and her maroon lipstick. Not that I wanna wear that, but just, yeah, the font and just the aesthetic of it. It was paired down, but her facial expressions and her poses were powerful and they were like, I'm, I'm here. I'm here. Yeah. I don't, this is my reputation. I'm the one that defines it.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, that so fits in with this whole theme because it's just so unapologetic.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. Yeah. I would love that. I just want it to be badass and stylistic and just edgy and fun. Yeah,
Rebecca Sigala:that's really, really fun and I'm so excited for that. So could you describe, like, let's say you put an image in your bedroom. I'm not saying that you're going to, but maybe you will. You blow it up and you put it in your bedroom. What would that image look like? The iconic image from the
Margot Touitou:session, I'm seeing curved lines. Mm-hmm. I'm seeing parts of an image and not necessarily a, a full image, maybe a. Particular curve or
Rebecca Sigala:like something a little bit abstract and artistic.
Margot Touitou:A bit abstract. I mean, you could still tell what it is, but it's like I'm picturing like a butt like this. You
Rebecca Sigala:know? Yeah. Or so my style.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. Like the small of a back or the curve of a, of a breast or the, the hair falling back, but not the face. Just something that's, that's not as obvious that somebody can look at and fill in the rest with their own imagination.
Rebecca Sigala:Beautiful. Okay. I love that. Do you feel that it falls into the edgy and sultry or like, when I think of that, I think of more like, Flowing and like this really feminine kind of, I don't know. Do you know
Margot Touitou:what I mean? Yeah. I'd definitely love to find some inspiration photos that kind of capture visually what that looks like. But I think it's all,
Rebecca Sigala:you know, so I actually, I used to have my clients like create a Pinterest board of like inspiration of food war stuff, and then I realized that. It's not necessarily so helpful for people because it kind of triggers that whole comparison thing. Yeah, I agree. And it's not like we can fully replicate photos. Like Yeah, you're a different person, I'm a different photographer. We're in a completely different place. Yeah, so it's gonna be your own thing. But what I do really like to do for Pinterest is to create like a sexy board and literally just like pin everything that you think is like, Sexy, like super sexy. And it could be food, it could be, you know, nature. It could be a piece of clothing, it could be a sexy picture of someone or a couple together, but just like create your definition of sexy in a visual form. Does that make sense?
Margot Touitou:Okay. Yeah, that sounds like a very fun assignment.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, right. It's so much fun. Okay, great. I'm so excited to see that. And then you can kind of include those elements of like the quirkiness and lightheartedness that you find to be sexy and also the edgy and sultry aspects. Cool, cool. Like all parts of you, we're not hiding any part of you. I love
Margot Touitou:it. I just had this visual of a lollipop, like a bright cherry ride lollipop, and just a, a tongue and lips and just like, eh, love it.
Rebecca Sigala:Like really adjust, like Miley Cyrus kind of just like, ah, and it's like edgy.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. Fuck you. I've always been drawn to that, that kind of, I know he's totally the, the worst, but, you know, like a Terry Richardson kind of just like raw, like, eh, He's terrible. I do not, I do not commend him. I do not, you know, whatever. But visually, that's what I'm thinking of. That's all.
Rebecca Sigala:That's really cool. So I definitely see incorporating that like playfulness, kind of like, fuck you
Margot Touitou:power. Oh my God. I, I love, I'm a pop music lover and a lot of my influences come from that world. And when I think about it, I think about the, the video for We Can't Stop by Miley. And she's dancing around with a giant teddy bear backpack, but it's funny and it's sexy at the same time.
Rebecca Sigala:And that's what she, she, ah, yeah, I've seen that one. One
Margot Touitou:is that Esthetic and she was very much, she had just the whole look of it. It was quirky and it didn't take itself too seriously, but it was, hi, it was
Rebecca Sigala:sexy. Yeah. Now I'm thinking of that reel that you did. You dressed up as Taylor Swift and it was like a boudoir session pretty much with a knife and I was like, oh my God, thank you. This amazing.
Margot Touitou:That's right. That's right. Right? Yeah, yeah. Like that
Rebecca Sigala:energy, not necessarily knife. Yes. I love that.
Margot Touitou:Or like blank space. Like I wasn't that costume. I love that kind of stuff. Yes. Yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:Okay. So here like I feel like it doesn't actually matter so much what the lingerie is gonna look like because it's more of like this energy. But I do wanna talk about that a little bit because I know that you're gonna go lingerie shopping. Yes. And so excited for you. What kind of things do you like? What things do you wanna try? What do you envision in your mind?
Margot Touitou:I look really good in the color red. I think it looks really good on my skin tone and with my coloring. I love high wasted silhouettes because I have a curvy body and I think it really emphasizes my curves. Like your waistline?
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. And
Margot Touitou:curves. And I have big bouncy boobs and a big juicy butt, and those are some of my favorite features. Love. And also it's interesting because at the same time, as much as I love having a big juicy butt, I love it. And sometimes when I catch glimpses of it, I see cellulite. It's flatter in parts than I would like. I, I really wanna balance that feeling out. What does that mean for you? I don't wanna feel that way about my butt. I think it's a beautiful ass, and I just love it.
Rebecca Sigala:I really like you. It's funny because it's like, you can see it objectively. You're like, I can see it
Margot Touitou:objectively. Yeah. This is a good app. There's times where it's like, and that's so not, I, I just wanna, I wanna disconnect from that energy. That's like not, you know,
Rebecca Sigala:and so do you think that. So there's a couple different ways that I approach it with my clients. It depends on where you're at in your journey with your body, right? So people, if they come to me and they're like, I want you to change my body. I want you to make me look thinner. I'm like, that's not what I do. I don't do that. But there's certain images that would show. More parts of your body that like, like for me, for example, my stomach was always my insecurity. So if you look at my old boudoir pictures that were taken of me, I am always either wearing something that's hiding my stomach or in a position that's hiding my stomach. No one would really even think about that. But I, I knew that, I knew that I was like, quote unquote hiding that. And then as the years went on, I like slowly, slowly started showing my stomach. I never thought I would like wear a crop top or show my stomach or anything. And then like last year when I did my boudoir session, I was just like, I. I actually feel comfortable showing it all and like not hiding. And it was so liberating not only to do that for myself in the session, but then also to share it and to separate other people's opinions of me to my own. And it was just like, It was amazing. And I know it helps a lot of women feel seen'cause they told me it was really, really special. Yeah. So there's like, sometimes I'll tell people, you know, if you're not really sure, if you just wanna go all out like that and just really, it's not necessarily emphasizing your insecurities, it's just like not trying to hide them, not. Paying attention to them like that, right? If you don't wanna do that, then we can do like a combination of the two and you can see them afterwards, and then kind of make your decision from there. A lot of times this is like the goal is to see yourself in a more loving and compassionate light, not just because you have makeup on, or a professional photographer is taking a picture of you because. I'm actually reflecting back to you what you look like and who you are. I'm still looking at it through an artistic lens. I'm not saying just stand there with your shoulders slumped over and whatever. Like I'm looking through everything. Yeah. In the way that I see them, and I really do see all bodies as beautiful. I guess this is a very long-winded way of asking, are you open to seeing things that you might be insecure about? I'm
Margot Touitou:open to it. I'm not sure what's gonna come up, but it What if it's great.
Rebecca Sigala:Exactly. Yeah. That is one of the really amazing parts of this experience is that most of the time when people see their images and they see the things that they've been so critical and so hard on themselves, they either don't really notice it and they have like this neutrality, or they're like, it's not as bad as I thought it was, or it's like, oh my God, that's really fucking beautiful. Yeah. And I just never realized it. Yeah.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. I mean, it sounds like even the worst case scenario is just that you choose a different image or you you pose a different way, or you do something that makes you feel better.
Rebecca Sigala:It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. A bad thing. Exactly. I mean, I think there's something in our brain that's like, oh my God, what if this happens? It feels like something bad is gonna happen. But yeah, like you said, like worst case scenario, you have a little bit of discomfort, but it seems like you're the type of person that has been able to face a lot of discomfort and.
Margot Touitou:Sometimes I learn lessons in a way that is a bit more uncomfortable than, yeah, the average
Rebecca Sigala:person.
Margot Touitou:I relate, I relate to that. I don't, I mean, I, I'm an astrological person. I love astrology and if you wanna look at it from that perspective, I have a Scorpio rising and a Scorpio moon and those two energies combined being Scorpio, I don't shy away from the darkness of life. Sometimes it means that my emotions are very stormy, but you know, I can kind of sit with that like darkness.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. I'm not saying don't. Yeah. And that, I personally think that's really such a strength and that is a lot of like what we're doing here is like facing yourself, facing everything that hiding yourself and being open to obviously the good feelings, but also the ones that might be a little bit uncomfortable, but they will shift.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. Yeah. And, and imagine if they shifted towards the good. I mean, we always, especially as women, we're taught. To just look at ourselves and our bodies as if we're, if we're not going to like it, look at the way we accept compliments from each other. It's like our default is, oh, this old thing. Or, oh my gosh, no, I hate my nose. What do you mean I look cute in that photo? Uh, what if we just switch the dial? What if we love it? The same amount of energy. Seriously.
Rebecca Sigala:It's a beautiful way to see it. Seriously like it. Okay, so we're gonna, we're gonna like really explore everything together and there's no consequences of that. It's like, I'm not gonna choose that photo, or I am gonna choose that photo. Like that's the benefit. Exactly. And you have complete control over what you actually want to share, so love it. Okay, so you like high waistlines, you like the color red, you like your boobs and your butt. So we wanna highlight those.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. And when I say high waistline, I'm talking like, I like string, like not like, not like the vintage, not the vintage style. More like the nineties wide, like the leg opening. I love that like when stuff comes up on your hip bones and it sits like that, nineties supermodel kind of like
Rebecca Sigala:makes that beautiful. Yeah, I love that. Okay, cool. Got it. It could be like stringy and show everything, but like that's kind of where it lands.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. I kind of take the Kim Kardashian approach in, in a healthy way. I think she once said like, bikinis look really good on your body when there's less fabric. And personally on my body type, I think that's true. Like the. Yeah, the more I add, I think the more bulky it, it could look and it might not flatter my proportions. I have, um, a somewhat longer torso and then my legs aren't as long, but I still have height. But I think most of it comes from my upper body. And so like elongating that and just those sexy lines I think make me feel really good. The
Rebecca Sigala:curves. Yeah. So we're gonna definitely accentuate all of those. Okay. So you wanna find something that's red, right?
Margot Touitou:Red, one piece of red. Um, I also love the color blue on me. Okay. Like a kind of tealish color.
Rebecca Sigala:It sounds like instead of just like the normal, kind of like lacy lingerie, like you wanna find something that's a little bit more edgy and maybe stringy and sexy.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. That does, that does kind of fit. Yeah. I'm not necessarily drawn to the more vintage style lingerie. Where it's more teddy kind of style or high
Rebecca Sigala:waist. No. Also that doesn't show your body. I'm like, no, Petties.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. I, I want these, I love ette bras. I think they look incredible on my body. Mm-hmm. I, oh my gosh. I mean, ettes like the French knew what they were doing.
Rebecca Sigala:Yes. I love that. Amazing. So, yeah, I think when you go shopping to look for something that is not the normal run of the mill lingerie, which I know that I. The store that you're going to miss mass more. They really do have really unique and interesting pieces. But yeah, really lean into this edgy, fun, and playful get red. Which actually like, it's funny because I generally don't really like red Inbar for some reason, because mm-hmm. I think that a lot of times people think sexy and then they think red. Yeah. But it's not necessarily them, you know? But for this, it feels like that's you.
Margot Touitou:Yeah, I'm, I just love sexy red underwear. I think they look fucking hot. Yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:Okay.
Margot Touitou:So I have a pair too that, that I, that I like a lot, so maybe there's stuff for my own
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely can bring that. And it doesn't seem like we want to do like more relaxed, like lifestyle stuff. Like I really do like, you know, off the shoulder stuff with like font. I like that too. Or whatever.
Margot Touitou:Yeah, I like that too. I think it looks really pretty. I was just looking at your page and there was a photo here of a woman in a white button down. With Kneehigh boots on, like up against, I think that looks cool. Mm.
Rebecca Sigala:Okay, cool. So do you have stuff
Margot Touitou:like that? I can pull some stuff. Okay, I'll, I'll think about the things that
Rebecca Sigala:I already have. White button down or like baggy off the shoulder, sweater or shirt.
Margot Touitou:I think I have things like that.
Rebecca Sigala:Okay. And you can also just bring everything and we'll go through it. Okay. I'm happy to give my opinion. Yes. It's never a problem. Perfect, perfect. And then in terms of like the actual lingerie, you're getting like two to three pieces. Do you like like one
Margot Touitou:pieces maybe? I've never really had like one piece swimsuits, so I might like one piece Lingerie
Rebecca Sigala:sets. Yeah, I mean as long as it's not just like a regular one piece, like even a regular one piece can be cool with, you know, just the energy that you're bringing to it. I mean, you're gonna have your hair done, you're gonna have your makeup done. We don't need like a lot of like extra, you know, so even like, I don't know, a black one piece or something could be like kind of edgy
Margot Touitou:and cool. Yeah, I kind of wanna see, maybe there's things I wouldn't have thought of to pull that look really good.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, I'm excited. Okay, so you're open and we're just gonna kind of lean into that like edgy, different stringy, sexy
Margot Touitou:vibe. I think so. I think that sounds really hot. Yes. And if
Rebecca Sigala:you are there and want help, you can always message me or FaceTime me. Thank you.
Margot Touitou:Thank you. I would love
Rebecca Sigala:to help. Okay, so that, and then hair and makeup.
Margot Touitou:Oh, okay. I want something that is. Glowy, I think on my eyes, I, I really, I really love makeup. I just, I want to feel good about my complexion. Sometimes I get insecure'cause I don't always feel like my complexion is super even, and I would love to just have a soft look. I also think that, I don't know, I do look good in a, like a, a blue red lipstick too. I don't know if that's something that's like, Too
Rebecca Sigala:on. I feel like it gives like a certain like look for the entire shoot. That's my only thing against it.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. Like, I mean it could be something. Maybe we throw it on at the end
Rebecca Sigala:and like try. Yeah. I don't necessarily want it to be for the whole thing. I doesn't, you could even like have a shot of you putting on lipstick. I kind of like that. Yeah. I
Margot Touitou:that, yeah, I do too, because it also plays into like Kiss and Tel Aviv and I would love to have kind of Ooh,
Rebecca Sigala:like a picture of like just your hand on your lip.
Margot Touitou:Yeah, and maybe I'll even bring my, like my podcast mic and we can use that as a prop. You know, that would make me really great podcast. I love that podcast. Yeah, so maybe there's something there, and that could happen at the end, but most of the time I love a good glowy, subtle, natural looking kind of look.
Rebecca Sigala:Coppers big
Margot Touitou:eyelashes. I don't do well with fake eyelashes. My eyelashes are naturally really long, so luckily that's I, I, ooh, I have great lashes naturally.
Rebecca Sigala:So no fake
Margot Touitou:eyelashes. They don't work for me. My eyes are really sensitive and I've never had a good experience with fake eyelashes. I'm just like, not a fan, but I have great lashes, so that's fine.
Rebecca Sigala:Beautiful eyes.
Margot Touitou:Thank you. And yeah, for hair, I would love to have something that's blown out, curly waved, kind of. Yeah, I
Rebecca Sigala:kind of like that, the contrast of like doing something kind of edgy and even maybe red, but then your face is not necessarily really dramatic. Right. I agree. I think that's, because then those two together can be like, I don't know. It can, well, it can look, I, I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I love
Margot Touitou:that. Yeah. I definitely want, and I, I think I've shared some photos of it with you for the makeup, just. Peachy coral, bright, flushed, youthful looking skin with a nice, nice food gloss. Yeah. Perfect. Also
Rebecca Sigala:I, and like a light smoky eye, maybe like, not like dark.
Margot Touitou:Right. And I think that copper and brown tones look best on my skin tone. And with my eyes. I really like when it's a, it's not a black smoky eye, but more of a brown earth tone copper eye. And also like maybe at one point the hair we, the hair's curled. And then at one point I like to put it up and maybe do like a quick little PC number. Yeah. Doing something kind of like that. Cool.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, I really feel like a lot of this is gonna just come very naturally for you and I You like being photographed. I like photographing people. Like we're just gonna have fun with
Margot Touitou:it. Yeah, and I definitely have some inspo in terms of makeup. I know you don't wanna get to a place where the inspo becomes uncomfortable, but I definitely, no makeup is
Rebecca Sigala:different. Makeup is a little different. But also I tell people like, try to find something that is a similar skin tone to you. I found one. Yay. Okay good. Send it to me. Okay. Okay. And then after this I'm gonna send you a little, just like synopsis of what we spoke about so that you have that, including like the coaching part of it. And then I also have a preparation guide for you to go through that has journal prompts in it and like how to emotionally prepare for the session. But then in addition, how to like get ready what to pack what to. Just like we were talking about having our own definition of sexy in the same way. Like if you don't get your nails done, don't get your nails done. But if you do, and that's something that you enjoy and you feel good about, okay. Ooh. Okay, good. So definitely get your nails done then. Or like people will ask me about hair removal and I'm like, well, what do you normally do? And if they tell me that they don't normally wax, I'm like, don't wax. And it's hard for them to conceptualize because they're like, but this is. What sexy has been presented to me my whole life. This is what I see in magazines, but we're putting all of that to the side. Cool.
Margot Touitou:Great. Uh, I also, again, this is something that makes me feel super sexy is, is a spray tan and just having that little glow. Mm-hmm. I think it would really like, turn up the, I think it, I think it also makes the makeup look good. It makes my eyes pop. Is there
Rebecca Sigala:any way that it would show that it's a, a spray tan? That's my concern.
Margot Touitou:No. No. I get really good ones. I get
Rebecca Sigala:really scared. Not on your hands or like different parts of your body.'cause you're gonna be naked. Yeah,
Margot Touitou:no, it, it'll be good. I promise she does like the models, like all of the people, like she's amazing and I've gotten a ton, like, I'm like pretty pro at it now. I promise. Trust you. I trust you. I totally understand why that would be. As a photographer, that would be a red flag.
Rebecca Sigala:Oh, that's, I actually do have that question. How do you feel about. Nudity.
Margot Touitou:I'm cool with it. It kind of goes back though to, uh, those photos I had taken. I, I did some topless stuff and I did not, like, I, I've taken some fire nudes by myself that I love the way they look. I can even show you some that I like, angles that I really like, but that photographer did not take
Rebecca Sigala:it. It definitely, it feels like another level of vulnerability, so you're like, am I gonna let go of like that?
Margot Touitou:I, I flash my boobs right now. I don't care about that. But I want to love what I see. I want it to reflect how I feel about myself, so I'm fine with it. Don't worry.
Rebecca Sigala:I got you. I got you. Yeah, girl. Let's do it. Not worried at all. Not one little bit. Okay, so I think that's it. Another question that I do like to ask my clients is how can you make this not just like a photo shoot, you pop in, you pop out, you go to work later, like, how can you really give this. And time so that you feel at ease and you're able to get into that present state of being. I
Margot Touitou:think that for this. I would like, I have like a pre-date routine that I kind of get into where I slow things down. I try not to plan things before. I try to give myself enough time so I'm not frazzled, and I think that exact routine would help. I also think music would really help me get into the, yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:Oh my gosh. The music is gonna be so fun during your session. Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be, it's gonna be, oh, hot music. Do you wanna
Margot Touitou:make a playlist? Yeah, I'll make a playlist for sure. I have a couple that I think would be great. Okay. Awesome.
Rebecca Sigala:And then like in the days before the session, you'll take time to get ready and relax a little bit more and give yourself a little bit more you time.
Margot Touitou:Yeah. And yeah. Yeah. Gonna say I'm in. Yes. I'll, I'll slow it down. Hey,
Rebecca Sigala:I know it's probably hard. You have a lot going on, and I think that we are doing this with so much intention that it would be a shame to not give it the same attention during the actual session, which is when you really want to feel embodied and free. Beautiful. Yeah. Yay. This is amazing. I didn't realize that. I didn't ask you. What are your favorite parts of your body and which ones are you a little bit more insecure about?
Margot Touitou:I love my boobs. I love my butt. Depending on the angle, it's conditional. I've always felt a little bit insecure about my nose, but I've gotten a lot better about that over the years. Lately I've been feeling like, kind of insecure about like, just certain, certain angles of like my face. Hmm.
Rebecca Sigala:Um, like the lack of control that you have, like you see it from someone else's? Yeah.
Margot Touitou:Like when I was on my con segment, there were a couple of angles where I was like that, like the fucking guy shot me from like up, from, from like the bottom and like, Uh, no, just, no, it was like this, like I literally was like
Rebecca Sigala:this, but like that's, you know, that's not what you look like. Well, God, I hope
Margot Touitou:you know that's not what you look, it was, it was what I looked like on the TV screen. I, I know what I saw and it was, it's okays fine. It was not a flattering angle and that's just Okay. That's okay. I didn't like the angle. It wasn't flattering, but like,
Rebecca Sigala:it's not what you look like in real life. I wanna imprint that Yeah. Into women's brains that a bad angle or a bad picture does not mean that's how you look. Yeah. Nine times outta 10, no. Yeah, probably 10 times outta 10, for sure. For sure. Okay, so boobs, but you wanna accentuate those, the curves, your waistline that you mentioned earlier. Which parts of your body are you learning to love?
Margot Touitou:The back of my legs and I think my midsection. Mm-hmm. I'd say like between my belly button and my like top, like the bottom of my thigh.
Rebecca Sigala:Okay. Yeah. And what about those areas? Do you feel uncomfortable About
Margot Touitou:cellulite? Mm-hmm. Dims. Mm-hmm. Like wideness.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm-hmm. Are you able to look at photos of other women who had those things and see the beauty in them? Yeah,
Margot Touitou:a thousand percent. And that's what I want to achieve with this. Yeah, I can think of, I have so many.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, I mean, that's a really good place to be on in your journey if you can see the beauty of those things in other people, because that's not a given. So the fact that you're there means that you have been on this journey for a little bit. Yeah. And that even more so you now have this opportunity to take a step back, see the full picture, like quite literally, and see yourselves in an objective way as if you were looking at someone that is not you. Yeah. Like that kind of distance gives you the opportunity to be a little bit more kind to yourself. This is perfect. We got everything in. I'm so even more excited for the session. I feel like we touched on a lot of really important topics and we will continue to be in touch. I'm gonna send you the preparation guide and then I'm totally here for you. Every step of the way, you can WhatsApp me, you can message me, and we'll just continue on this journey together.
Margot Touitou:Beautiful. All right, my love. Thank you for this time and for sharing this wonderful energy with me.
Rebecca Sigala:You're welcome. Thank
Margot Touitou:you. Thank my love. We'll talk soon. I can't wait. I'm so excited.
Rebecca Sigala:Bye. Wow. I am so grateful to Margo for really showing up for herself, but why do I even doubt that she always does that? and I really just loved exploring these topics with her. Helping her have more clarity about her intentions for this experience for herself, and gain a deeper understanding of who she is and how she wants to show up in the world even more authentically, so that she can feel more empowered and liberated. In this experience and in her life in general. I don't even need to say how amazing and powerful and inspiring she is. I'm sure you all felt that as you listened. If you're not already following her on social media, do it now. And you can also keep tabs on her journey every step of the way. If you want to explore your own healing boudoir experience, sign up for a no strings attached discovery call with me so that we can connect and see if we're a good fit. Okay? I love you all. See you next week. Thanks for listening.