Breaking Up With Self-Doubt & Owning Who I Am With Emma Starr

In this episode, I’m joined by my incredible client, Emma, who shares her inspiring journey of transformation over the past six months. After a difficult breakup left her feeling lost and disconnected from her body, she reached out to me for the first time—and her story since then is nothing short of remarkable.

We talk about relationships and breakups, living in a smaller body (and how that's impacted her body image), and the complexities of seeking external validation. Emma also opens up about her decision to share her boudoir pictures on social media and the empowerment that came with it.

This heartfelt conversation is a powerful reminder of what’s possible through healing and self-discovery.

I would love to hear from you on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/rebeccasigalastudio

Transcript

Rebecca Sigala 0:00

Hey there. Welcome back to The Body Image Revolution. If you are new, welcome. You have come to the right place. Today, we're going to have so much fun. I'm talking to my amazing client, Emma. Her journey is one of resilience and strength. She truly has transformed her life over the past six to seven months. Before we began working together, she had just gone through a breakup and a relationship that left her questioning her own worth, she felt disconnected from her body and she was just kind of going through the motions of life. We all know that brain fog and what that can feel like. I remember talking to her for the first time and she told me that she wanted to reclaim her body as her own. And honestly, that's exactly what she did. She began the Healing Boudoir Experience and eventually started The New Sexy, which is my group coaching program. And we're already 10 weeks in. We only have two more weeks left, and it's been so wonderful to have Emma a part of it. When Emma began, she definitely had her reservations. This was something very much outside of her comfort zone, but she decided to trust herself and trust the process, and she just fully showed up and really took up the space that she deserves in this world. It was so beautiful to witness. And now all of you guys get to hear about it and just about her journey and her life in general and her personal relationship with her body. What it's like to live in a smaller body and how society made her feel like she wasn't even a part of this body image conversation. And that in itself impacted how she felt about her body. And you get to hear about how that has shifted over the last several months as well. Emma is such a light. She's so sweet. And I just can't wait for you to hear her story. Enjoy. Hi! Hey! Thanks so much for doing this. This is gonna be really fun. I'm really excited to talk to you about everything and I was just thinking about the fact that we began working together like six months ago. Kind of crazy. I feel

Emma Starr 2:08

like so much longer.

Rebecca Sigala 2:09

Yeah, totally. It does. Kind of creepy,

Emma Starr 2:12

but

Rebecca Sigala 2:12

like, it happened during a war. I know. It's been such a crazy year. I'd love for everyone to get to know you, because you're so awesome. And just, you know, a little bit about where you're from, and what you do, where you

Emma Starr 2:28

live now. So I moved here almost four years ago now from Boston. And I originally came on like a Masa teaching program and I was living a little North of Tel Aviv in Netanya for like half a year, and then I decided to leave the program and moved to Jerusalem and found a job in early childhood education, which is what I studied in school. And I think that's a lot. How

Rebecca Sigala 2:54

old were you when that happened?

Emma Starr 2:57

I think I was 23. Okay. And how old are you now? I'm turning 28. So I'm

Rebecca Sigala 3:04

27. Nice. You've been here for like four or five years.

Emma Starr 3:07

Almost

Rebecca Sigala 3:07

four. That's a huge change in life. Was it always something that you'd wanted to do? Or did that trip just inspire you?

Emma Starr 3:15

I think I always, like, whenever my family came to Israel, or I came to Israel, I just always felt so at home here, and it was just really hard to leave. Yeah, I get it. And I think, like, I went to school not far from my parents house in Boston, and I realized during school that, like, I, Needed to live somewhere else and try something new and there was no other place. I could have imagined myself living like no other country, no other state, nowhere.

Rebecca Sigala 3:47

Yeah. I mean, I don't know what it is like for you, but I think growing up, it was kind of like, there has to be. More to life than this. Like, I just didn't feel like it quite fit and I definitely never felt like I belonged anywhere. And I think when I came to Israel for the first time, it was the closest feeling I had to that.

Emma Starr 4:08

Yeah. I feel similarly, like I never fully felt like I could be myself anywhere else except here. So it just fit.

Rebecca Sigala 4:19

Okay, so now you're living in Jerusalem, you're a teacher, right, for what grade? Kindergarten. So cute. Like, the best age. My daughter is in kindergarten. She's gonna be in first grade next year, so, same age. Wow. Such a cute, such a cute age. The best age. The best age. So, you're living here, six months ago, right before you reached out to me, like, even before We began speaking, can you share a little bit about what your life was like and what you were going through at the time?

Emma Starr 4:51

So I was in a pretty serious relationship that was kind of on again off again for like almost three years and I was very much like in it, like I was in it all the way. Like both feet were there, but the person didn't reciprocate it in that way. And it just, it was just eating away at me. Cause I was like, I don't understand. I'm literally giving everything I am to this person. And he's saying that he loves to be with me and he wants to be with me, but then also he's saying, but like, we're not, we're not my team, we're not compatible. And it was just this like on again, off again thing. And it was just. And you

Rebecca Sigala 5:34

just continued to give your all and kind of, and I think you described it to me before as losing yourself in it.

Emma Starr 5:41

Yeah. I mean, I just felt like. I was settling. I was like, I am so desperate to have him in my life because I love him so much that I'm willing to like literally take breadcrumbs. And it got to a point where I was just like, that's not okay. I can't keep doing that because why does he deserve all of my love when it's not like he's giving it back to me in return. And also, I don't think that someone should be getting everything. You can't give someone everything, especially at the expense of yourself. Right.

Rebecca Sigala 6:18

Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what happened. So how did that relationship or other things that were going on in your life at that time affect the way you saw yourself, like your self confidence?

Emma Starr 6:30

I think at that point I was so desperate to like have him in my life that I kind of was just willing to take anything.

Rebecca Sigala 6:37

Yeah. And

Emma Starr 6:38

I kept on like, even though I was a hundred percent invested in him, I knew that he wasn't in me. Yeah. Exactly. So it was like still keeping kind of the doors open for other people, hoping that that would kind of make it all better that like I wasn't putting all of my eggs in one basket that I still was putting myself out there.

6:55

And

Emma Starr 6:56

in some way, it kind of validated me that like also was hanging out with other people. But the thing is, I didn't actually really want to be. I was just kind of only doing that to make myself feel better about getting the external

Rebecca Sigala 7:08

validation.

Emma Starr 7:09

Yeah, but external validation, like it doesn't make up for like this internal invalidation. And I just got to a point where I was just like, I can't do this anymore. If I don't end it now, I don't know, like, if I ever will. How do you

Rebecca Sigala 7:25

think you would have described the way you see yourself back then? Like, if I would have said, how do you feel when you look in the mirror or how do you feel when you think about yourself? Do you remember what you would have said? I know you've come just so far on this journey, so it's almost even hard to imagine what was a typical day like for you?

Emma Starr 7:46

Honestly, I kind of just felt like a shell of myself, like a typical day for me. Would probably been like getting up, going to work, coming home, then figuring out my plans for the evening and like meeting up with friends and going out and partying and meeting some guy and hanging out with them until I wake up feeling so shitty.

Rebecca Sigala 8:10

That is so honest, and I'm sure so many people can relate to that, and just feeling kind of on autopilot, disconnected from themselves and their body, and looking for external validation to feel better about themselves. So relatable, and I'm so sorry that you went through that.

Emma Starr 8:27

Everything, like, all these experiences, I feel like they teach you things. Oh yeah. And like, I think it kind of taught me that like, in some way I am like a people pleaser. I never really thought that, but I feel like now looking back on it from like an older version of myself, I feel like if I hadn't had had those experiences, I wouldn't. Be where I am now.

Rebecca Sigala 8:50

Yeah,

Emma Starr 8:51

that's a really cool realization to have and it's hard to get there. As much as like those experiences sucked and it was a very very dark time in my life. I feel like now I'm even more certain that the relationship that is most important is the one with myself. So before I can have like a successful relationship with someone else, I need to Do a lot of work on myself and understanding, like, why is it that I struggle so much with trusting people? And why is it that I rely so much on external validation and why I can't validate myself and like all of these things, even just now thinking about the things that like, You know, I've said to men or like said to my friends about how I approach men or relationships now, it's like totally different than before, like maybe before I would have just done whatever with whoever, but now I'm just like, I can't keep doing that. Like I need to set boundaries for myself and this isn't something I want to do. So like, you

Rebecca Sigala 9:50

really grounded yourself and found yourself through this process. because you fully, fully showed up, which I feel like, okay, we need to get into everything so people can kind of see how this story unfolded. When you saw my work for the first time,

Emma Starr 10:08

how did you feel? My first thought was Like, wow, that's like art. That's so beautiful. Thank you. These are just people that are just normal people. People that are like around. It's not like they're supermodel or like movie stars, like these are just

Rebecca Sigala 10:25

people

Emma Starr 10:25

that

Rebecca Sigala 10:25

are around. I love that.

Emma Starr 10:27

Like people that are like everyday people, you know, people that you see on the street, people you see in coffee shops, you know, right. And you knew that

Rebecca Sigala 10:34

because I worked with Danielle Williams from Trust by Danielle, right? That's how, that was the connection. And so you knew her as a business owner, and then you were able to see her experience in it.

Emma Starr 10:46

Yeah, I mean, I also knew that she was very Holistic and that she was like really into self growth. And she was like, yeah, about these things that she was kind of processing. And I thought that was like really, really cool and really powerful.

Rebecca Sigala 11:02

Yeah.

Emma Starr 11:03

So then when I saw the pictures of her, I was like, my God, like, that's amazing. Like, that's so cool. Like, you know, like I would love to do something like that. I don't know how, but eventually maybe I will, but I didn't, I remember thinking like, What would I even talk about? It was kind of like invalidating myself. What would I even have to talk about? In

Rebecca Sigala 11:26

terms of what would I have to work on?

Emma Starr 11:29

Yeah. Yeah. Like what would I be coached on? Like, I don't think I was really ready to like, understand why I. struggle with body image or why I struggle with trust or validate, like all of these things. I don't

Rebecca Sigala 11:41

think I was

Emma Starr 11:42

like,

Rebecca Sigala 11:42

even, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you even thought that you were dealing with body image stuff at the time.

Emma Starr 11:50

Not really. Cause I just had people like, I think I knew, but people kept on saying like, Oh, you have no problems. You know, you're tall. Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 11:57

Can you share a little bit about that? Because I know there are so many women and I actually did a podcast episode about this, about, you know, people who are in smaller or thinner bodies having this experience in the world where they just feel completely invalidated and they're not allowed to have unhappy feelings about their bodies. What was your experience like and how did that shape the way you saw yourself?

Emma Starr 12:26

I think, like, especially in the Jewish community, growing up, I just kind of felt like there weren't people that looked like me. Yeah. Like, I was very tall, very thin, and I felt like I was kind of like the only one, and I stood out in not such a great way. And I just kind of wanted to blend in.

Rebecca Sigala 12:44

I feel like when you're young, if you stand out, generally it just doesn't feel good because they kind of categorize you as something and to blend in, it just feels, it feels more comfortable, especially as a kid.

Emma Starr 12:55

But like, it's also different, I feel, because I like felt weird and gawky. So like, why would I want to stand out more? Whereas I feel like if you consider yourself really beautiful, you really don't most of the time have an issue with standing out.

13:12

Like, I just

Emma Starr 13:13

remember some of these girls that I was in school with, they were very beautiful and they were constantly in front of other people and drawing attention to themselves and things like that. And it was just like, Why would I want to do that? Like, I didn't understand. I wasn't trying to, like, get validation from others. I just wanted to be left alone. Like, I just didn't want people to notice me more than they already did.

Rebecca Sigala 13:38

Yeah, that reminds me of what you said when you first reached out to me. I think you said something like, I have this struggle between wanting to stand out but also wanting to Be invisible and for no one to pay attention to me or get the quote unquote bad type of attention.

Emma Starr 13:55

It's such a fine line and it's been like an issue with me I feel like in friendships like that alone because you have like this negative attention and positive attention and if I'm around someone who's seeking negative attention I don't want to also be considered as someone who's seeking that kind of attention too. So it's like it's It's hard because a lot of people consider negative attention, attention, they still try to seek it.

Rebecca Sigala 14:19

Yeah. Well, I think it's also a lot of societal conditioning of women being told that they're supposed to stay small, that they're supposed to be modest and polite and nice and that they're not supposed to seek this attention or they're not supposed to be the owners of their bodies and their sexuality. And so if a woman feels like that, or she has that. Then people do not react kindly to it.

Emma Starr 14:47

Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 14:48

So I think it was like really believing that about yourself, not necessarily seeking the external validation, but having the confidence to take up space.

Emma Starr 14:58

Yeah. I mean, I think I always kind of put up a tough exterior and sometimes I still do of like, I want people to think that I don't want attention, but like deep down. I'm like, also wants attention, but I want like a good attention.

Rebecca Sigala 15:13

Yeah, but you also want to see yourself, which I feel like was part of this experience because I feel like you deep down kind of knew this would be an opportunity to really see yourself and to do something just for yourself and not for that external validation.

Emma Starr 15:29

Not that external

Rebecca Sigala 15:30

validation is always bad.

Emma Starr 15:33

Yeah, but it can't be everything, right? They have to exist together. Yeah, like one doesn't make up for the other and that's like very very hard to kind of get into your brain when you're so Stuck on what other people think about you and it's incredibly exhausting Living your life always worrying what other people are thinking about you like, oh, should I wear this?

Rebecca Sigala 15:55

What

Emma Starr 15:55

are people gonna think or oh should I do this? Is this too

Rebecca Sigala 15:58

sweaty? Is this too whatever?

Emma Starr 16:01

Yeah, too

Rebecca Sigala 16:02

much too tall.

Emma Starr 16:04

Yeah, it's Then it's like, okay, well then if you change because of what you think other people are going to say, then you feel even more crappy because you're like, well, now I'm just making choices based on what other people think about me. It's not necessarily what I want. And then you don't even feel like you're in control of your old life. You feel like you're just doing what people expect of you, even though like you don't really care about who these people are, but for some reason you care about what they think.

Rebecca Sigala 16:30

You become like a chameleon and just kind of like that relationship that you were talking about, you lose yourself in caring so much about what other people think or how other people see you. And that feels pretty shitty after doing it over and over and over again.

Emma Starr 16:46

Yeah. Especially for like 20 plus years. Like that's exhausting. And then when you come to the realization, then you realize what is taken from you. And that's what I felt. I felt like a shell. Like all of these things that make me, me, all of these parts of me that are, or what I thought my identity was, like, I don't even know if they're there anymore because I'm so busy doing what other people won't expect from me or want from me and like, for what, like, for what really? So you can live your life for other people.

Rebecca Sigala 17:25

It's so interesting that we connected, but you weren't even really sure what you wanted out of the experience yet, or what you would work on, or why you wanted to do it, or if it was okay to do something like this. What changed for you? I guess probably when we first spoke, right?

Emma Starr 17:46

Yeah. I mean, I, I think I was just like, I, I need like to do something healthy. Yeah. Yeah. Like I feel so unhealthy and in terms of like, I don't know what's best for me and I keep making the wrong choices for myself, like

17:59

not

Emma Starr 18:00

necessarily eating or things like that, but just healthy choices and doing things that weren't in my best interest. You're like

Rebecca Sigala 18:08

second guessing yourself. Yeah. I know how that feels.

Emma Starr 18:12

Yeah. And then I was just like, I feel like it would be really healthy to try to understand myself right now and why I'm doing the things that I'm doing that like clearly aren't what's best for me and how to like combat that. And it was a lot easier to do it. Alongside therapy too because yeah, I'm therapy is just a lot when you're diving in like deep deep. And so I felt like when I started doing this with you, I felt like it brought things up and then I could kind of like think about them and then I could process them in therapy.

18:53

And it actually

Emma Starr 18:53

helped a lot. Like

Rebecca Sigala 18:55

it really helped a lot. Wow. Yeah. I'm so for that. I think that's amazing that these are things that can really be a compliment to traditional therapy. But there's so many other parts of ourselves and our relationship with our bodies that also need to be like experienced. And so the fact that you were able to do them together is so amazing. So amazing. I remember you told me that body image didn't even come up in therapy, but probably because you didn't even realize it was like a thing.

Emma Starr 19:27

Yeah. I mean, and also when I was a kid, I mean, still now, but more so when I was a kid, therapy, I think for me, it was like more about like talking about traumas from my dad's illnesses or like how relationship, like learning things in school and how I just never felt like I fit in in that way. It was very much managing my emotions.

19:49

Yeah, like

Emma Starr 19:50

it wasn't so much processing also when you're little therapy is very different. My therapy was more kind of like through playing

Rebecca Sigala 19:57

and you stayed with the same therapist, right?

Emma Starr 20:00

Yeah, so I had one therapist when I was younger and it was very much play based. Cause like with little kids, it's hard to like do talk. But then when I was in high school, I had told my mom, I think I need to have a new person who knows me from now. Not just like as a little kid, because now I'm a lot older and I feel like therapy needs to be different and I want a fresh start. So it was like, to

Rebecca Sigala 20:26

say as a teenager.

Emma Starr 20:28

Yeah, I mean, I was in therapy since I was a little girl, so I've always been, like, self aware and been very focused on emotions and understanding the way I feel.

20:38

Yeah. Because

Emma Starr 20:38

that's how, like, my brain works, is, like, I need to understand something in order to, like, So, when you would, like, ask me all of these kind of questions, kind of trying to, like, dig deeper, it really helped me because then I was able to figure these things out. And then, because I was able to figure things out, then I was able to process them. Wow. Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 20:59

What would you say to someone who was like, well, why don't I just go to therapy for these types of things? Why an experience like this?

Emma Starr 21:07

I think with some people, you know, they can, but I, I think that like having an experience where at least for me, I kind of felt like it was like exposure therapy in a way of like, and like being in a different kind of, you're in like a different scene. It's not like you're in like an office. Like it's very difficult to really see a change when you're sitting in an office, in a doctor's office, you know, but I remember that day I like walked in as one person. I felt like I left as another day that never happened and not just not just that day, but like on the calls and I felt like through all the work, all of the journaling that I did, like, whenever I would walk into it. I I would leave it different.

Rebecca Sigala 21:58

Wow. What was the feeling? What was it like? I mean, I think I know, but how do we describe this? It's beyond words.

Emma Starr 22:06

The feeling was cathartic. It was like, wow, I've been through some really, really tough stuff. Life has been really hard for me. Yeah. Look at me, I'm doing it all. I am delving into all of these difficult things and I'm learning more about myself and I'm having grace for myself and I'm. Continuing, I'm going on and I'm working through it all. That's so fucking beautiful. It's literally

Rebecca Sigala 22:35

like, that's also therapy,

Emma Starr 22:37

you know,

Rebecca Sigala 22:37

absolutely. Just thinking about what you said. It just makes me feel like what you did was give yourself that validation that you were looking for and really, truly see yourself in a beautiful and powerful light. Thank you. You didn't have to change who you are or how you look, but this experience helped you change the way that you see yourself as you are. Does that

Emma Starr 23:07

resonate? Yeah, I just, I don't like this idea of going into an office every week and just like talking about what's going on. Like, I think it's important because everyone, you know, has things that they struggle with and they want to talk to someone objective about it. And that's the thing that's really wonderful that a lot of people are able to have me included. But also at the same time, I do feel like therapy can kind of only bring you so far. Like, I don't think I. If I hadn't had had therapy since I was little, I probably would not have done this with you. I think that like it prepared me because I was comfortable talking about my emotions. Those types of things. Like, yeah, I mean,

Rebecca Sigala 23:53

actually, that makes a lot of sense. I feel like, you know, I talk about it all the time that so many of my clients are on the healing journey and they're self aware. They've usually been to therapy, like, It makes sense. It makes sense that this would be another step in your journey.

Emma Starr 24:09

But they're craving something else. Like they're craving something that you can't always get in therapy. Absolutely. I was

Rebecca Sigala 24:16

just actually saying this the other day about my own therapy. I'm like, I, I need something else. I've been going to therapy for a really long time as well, and I'm such an advocate for it. But then, yeah, there has to be Something where we get to embody that work and, and this is one of the final projects. I kind of thought as

Emma Starr 24:39

like, okay, this is like where my

Rebecca Sigala 24:41

project, except this is like we're doing this again Emma.

Emma Starr 24:44

This is like where I like test all of my work kind of. Yeah. Like this is my exhibit, this is when I get to show off. All of like is power. I love

Rebecca Sigala 24:54

that.

Emma Starr 24:55

Like yeah. It's like the showcase, you know? And like that's really, I really like that. And it's true.'cause like, you know, in your studio, like you feel like art. You are our art. Yeah. And so it really, it really did feel like a showcase kind of wow. Okay.

Rebecca Sigala 25:13

I feel like we skipped ahead, but we have so much to talk about all the time. Why did you sign up? What was the thing that made you like, yes, I'm going to do this for myself.

Emma Starr 25:24

I think I just, I needed to like be with myself and not be like running away. And I think that was the biggest part is that I needed to learn how to like, be with myself.

Rebecca Sigala 25:37

Yeah.

Emma Starr 25:38

I remember

Rebecca Sigala 25:38

you were just like, this has to happen like this, or I don't know, but it just felt very much like the next step for you.

Emma Starr 25:47

I mean, it, it very much felt like do or die. And honestly, like I really didn't know in those moments how to get myself out. I was just desperate. Like I needed something and I didn't know specifically what do I need? It wasn't like I was super depressed and I was like, Oh my God, now this is the time. I think maybe in one of those moments, like maybe it was on Instagram I was like, maybe now I should do it. I can't like, I remember so much, but I just remember being like, I have to do something.

Rebecca Sigala 26:20

Right. I guess how I see it is it wasn't like a desperation, like you said, where you were just depressed all the time and you're in bed and not functioning. You were functioning and living your life. And I mean, a lot of times, like you said, on autopilot, but. It was like a soul desperation. You're like, I need something more. I

Emma Starr 26:41

mean, it very much was kind of like a silent killer, you know? Like, yes, from the outside I was functioning, I was getting up, I was going to work, I was hanging out with people, but I was just like black inside. I was just so miserable. I didn't know what else to do. So I was like, I have to do something. I'm so happy that

Rebecca Sigala 27:02

our paths crossed. So Abby, that's a blessing.

Emma Starr 27:07

It's crazy because I literally like, I have all of the words that I wrote in those times and I read them the other day and I just remembered, like, I remember the feelings. I remember how I was just so lost and I needed to do something and I didn't know what to do. And I was like, So conflicted and happy and alone. I just, and I remember those feelings being like, I need to do something now. And the words, I remember the feeling behind all of those words.

Rebecca Sigala 27:35

Yeah. Wow. So cool that you really took, I mean, you were journaling before, like you said, but then when you started this process and I have the option, at least, I mean, highly recommended to do the journaling prompt. That I give, but you really took that seriously. And now not only do you have a photo documentation of this experience, but you have your journal.

Emma Starr 28:01

Yeah. I mean, I think I was like, I always had a fear of writing things down because I always felt like when you write things down, they become makes it real. And also I was worried that like people would read them, people would find that, like use them against me in some way or I don't know. Cause it happened when I was younger, like people read my private thoughts and it was like extremely violating. And my therapist always told me, Oh, I think you should journal. And then we can talk about the things that come up for you. And it was really

28:33

difficult for me.

Emma Starr 28:35

And it wasn't until that time,

28:37

I don't know, like

Emma Starr 28:38

a few months before you and I. Started the experience where I was like, so desperate that I had to get my thoughts out somehow and talking about it. Wasn't enough. And like therapy wasn't enough. And I was just like, I need to get them out of my head. And it was like, Whoa, like I wasn't even focused on like, Oh, what if someone finds them? I was like, I need to get them out of my head now, or I will literally explode. So like, it was a very new thing that I was writing down all of these things. That was very

Rebecca Sigala 29:08

new. I loved how you did it. And then sometimes we would take pictures of them and send them to me. And it was so cool to get that insight and be a part of your journey on that deep of a level.

Emma Starr 29:21

Cause like those were in real time, like when you and I have a call and then like it kind of evoked all these things that I then process, I was just like, well, you helped me bring up all of these things. So like, I want to show you how I'm processing them and

Rebecca Sigala 29:35

because

Emma Starr 29:35

that adds more to the experience because then you know, what's going on. You're not in the dark. Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 29:42

I think that really enhanced the experience, like how seriously you took that. Yeah. And. The fact that you did loop me in and we stayed in contact between the coaching calls. I think that was Really important, especially for your specific journey

Emma Starr 29:58

Yeah, I mean, the fact that I even sent a screenshot of them and like sent them to you was like, Oh my gosh! For someone who struggles with trusting people, that was like,

Rebecca Sigala 30:07

And I didn't even know that someone had violated your trust as a kid. So, wow.

Emma Starr 30:14

I'm very honored. That was me holding myself accountable. Yeah. But also at the same time, I was like, I have to prove to her that I'm serious. Like that was also what was going on. Like I have to prove that I'm serious. I don't know why, but it was just like, I have to show that I'm really into it. Like I'm taking this seriously. I can do this. Yeah. Which like, maybe more

Rebecca Sigala 30:34

to prove to yourself.

Emma Starr 30:36

Yeah. Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 30:38

And it's nice to have that person to reflect that back to you.

Emma Starr 30:42

Exactly.

Rebecca Sigala 30:43

What do you think were the top three things that you learned that had the biggest impact on me during this experience?

Emma Starr 30:50

I think one of the biggest things that I really learned was that even though you might think that the different parts of you are butting heads, Yeah, there will be a time and a space where the all exists together and it will be really amazing. Like, you can't be separate. Wait, wait, I feel like

Rebecca Sigala 31:10

we have to, I feel like that came up because of the actual day of the boudoir portrait session. Is that true?

Emma Starr 31:18

Okay. It did. But also, I felt like it came out in our calls. And also when I talked to people about the experience, like what I was doing. And also when I was journaling, because like, yeah, it was everything. Like I, like I felt so much. Power in the fact that I was being so open about everything and like, for some, And it was a safe place to be open.

Rebecca Sigala 31:48

Like you could trust

Emma Starr 31:49

the process. But like, then also I was feeling extremely vulnerable and sometimes kind of weak because like vulnerability sometimes makes people feel weak. Yeah. I was feeling all those things, but I was still feeling amazing. And I was like, wow, even though these are things that might be really hard together, like I'm feeling amazing because of them. Why do you think that is? Because it's me being authentic and genuine, like it's just like

Rebecca Sigala 32:19

me. That is like the theme, I feel like, of your journey right now. It's just you being authentically yourself, more and more authentic.

Emma Starr 32:30

It's like these thoughts that people have that like they have to pretend to be tough so that people think they're strong or they can't show any weakness because they'll be seen as, you know, pathetic or things like that. You know, things that like women are told. I think that there's such a strength in it, you know.

Rebecca Sigala 32:49

I so agree with that. How did this experience all of a sudden teach you that or help you see that your vulnerability was powerful?

Emma Starr 32:59

I don't like want to say that, like, it's because so many people told me because like that would be like relying on external validation. But I have to say that the more that I talked about with people, And then they opened up to me and they're like, wow, you're like speaking to my soul. I feel like this all the time. And I just like, I wish that I felt stronger. I wish I could be like you and open myself up and be vulnerable and all these things. And people would open up to me from just hearing me talk about it. And I was like, you also,

Rebecca Sigala 33:35

it was. A slower process that over the six months you started sharing more and more on social media with the intention of just being more authentic and and sharing yourself and hopefully inspiring some other people. Is that where you got that kind of feedback?

Emma Starr 33:55

Yeah. But then also people would bring it up to me if they saw me, they'd be like, Oh, I saw your post and I just want to let you know, I think that's so incredible what you're doing. And I'm so inspired and I love to do something like that. And, but I'm not as strong as you or something. And I was just like, what,

Rebecca Sigala 34:13

like, totally. I totally know

Emma Starr 34:17

that experience. Like, what are you talking about? Of course you are. But people are

Rebecca Sigala 34:21

not seeing it in themselves yet.

Emma Starr 34:23

But that's when I kind of feel that like I had changed and I saw it on social media like recently. I scrolled through my Instagram. I was looking at old pictures on Instagram and I very much felt that I was like posting things because it looked cool or like, you know, people would think I was cool because I did this or I wore this or whatever. And then I feel like over the last like six months, I was kind of just like, what do I actually want to post? What do I actually want to say? Like, yes, I don't really have a platform, but like I also do. And people have told me that the things that like I said, it was like, like, it matters. And so I started thinking about like, what's my voice? I don't want my voice to just be like, Oh yeah, I'm just going to like, do what people think is cool and just like take pictures and doing it. I want to be

Rebecca Sigala 35:13

authentic

Emma Starr 35:13

and be who I am. And like, I actually, now

Rebecca Sigala 35:17

that I'm thinking about it, I remember when we started working together in the beginning, there was a picture that someone made a negative comment about and you were like, do I take it down? Do I not? How do I feel about this? Do I block this person? And then you just started posting more pictures like that.

Emma Starr 35:36

You're like, fuck them. Yeah, and you know what the thing is, is that like, there's so many people that post things that are like, way more like, considered racy.

Rebecca Sigala 35:46

Yeah.

Emma Starr 35:47

And I was just like, okay, so it really

Rebecca Sigala 35:49

did bother you at the time, but you decided to still show up as your authentic self

Emma Starr 35:55

because like, who cares what this person says, like who cared what he said, like, let's be honest. Yeah. So like, why should I change what I'm doing? Right. It's the same thing like But maybe in the past you

Rebecca Sigala 36:06

would've, but it felt like it was just coming from such a place of strength and power. And I was also like, girl, I know exactly how you feel. Like, I'm a boudoir photographer living in an Orthodox Jewish community and posting pictures of myself in lingerie. I get it. And you're like, even my

Emma Starr 36:26

mom, even my mom, she'll say things like she doesn't so much anymore, but like she came

Rebecca Sigala 36:33

around. Right. Yeah.

Emma Starr 36:35

I think she came around. I mean, I remember like after some of the pictures I posted, I was very nervous, like what she was going to respond. Cause my mom's like, my mom's very, like, she's from a different time. She's very closed. And like, it's not, you know, most of our moms

Rebecca Sigala 36:49

are.

Emma Starr 36:51

I was waiting for her to say something like, oh, you should really take that down. It's not appropriate. And she was like, it was a beautiful post

Rebecca Sigala 37:00

or something or like, there was a

Emma Starr 37:01

beautiful picture. I'm so proud of you or something. I don't remember, but it was just like, and I didn't even say anything. Yeah, it was really nice. But also at the same time, I didn't want to make a bigger deal about it because that's not everything. Like her opinion isn't. Right. So all I said was like, thank you for saying that I didn't make it more of a thing because I didn't want to make it more heightened.

Rebecca Sigala 37:25

Right. But the thing is, is that like, people are just reflecting back to you, your authentic self. At least this is my experience. Like when I'm more accepting of myself, other people accept it because there's no other option. Do

Emma Starr 37:38

you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I also explained to my mom, kind of like, after everything, what everything brought me, and what I like, not discovered, but what I reclaimed, and just everything about the experience and, you know, where I am now. And I think that she was like, wow, those are all things that I want for you. And I might not be able to understand, I might not fully understand or agree. With the way that you did it, but those are all things that I want for you and I'm proud of you. With the way

Rebecca Sigala 38:10

you did it, like you did some crazy scandalous thing.

Emma Starr 38:15

You know what? Like, I'm crazy. What can I say?

Rebecca Sigala 38:19

Like, I'm not No, it's just so funny how people perceive it because I'm like, what do you mean the way you did it? It's such a Beautiful, holy, wholesome process, you know?

Emma Starr 38:31

Yeah. I mean, why shouldn't you love your body? Why shouldn't you like measure your body and this whole like being told to cover up? And like, I also went to like, I grew up in a religious environment and it was very difficult. I felt like I was kind of always being hyper focused on what I was wearing. And it wasn't about, you know, how I felt or like the things that I would bring, like my values. It was like, how long is your skirt? Yeah. I was just like, is that all I am? Yeah. All you care about is, is like, if you can see my kneecaps or my elbows, like, I don't understand. Right. It's so

Rebecca Sigala 39:04

interesting how modesty is supposed to, I would think that the intention is supposed to take you away from sexualizing yourself, but then there's so many communities and for so many people, their experience of it is actually. Hyper sexualizing themselves and hyper focusing on specific body parts and collarbones and knees and it's like, I'm so much more than that.

Emma Starr 39:27

Yeah, and then it kind of was just like, well, I don't want to focus on my body at all because everyone else is focusing on it.

Rebecca Sigala 39:34

Yeah.

Emma Starr 39:35

And my mom used to like fight my battles. She was like a force. Like she would go to the heads of the school and she'd be like, this is ridiculous. What are you doing? You care more about hemlines than you do about education. This is like, yeah, it's like, you know, it was just, she's also like a feminist. So she was very angered by it. And, but yeah, like the damage was already done. Wow.

Rebecca Sigala 40:00

That's really crazy that you said that. Cause I actually had a experience with my daughter a few years ago, and she was telling me just all these things that teachers had said to her about me, which is modesty for those who don't speak Hebrew over the years. And I was like, yeah, oh my gosh, that's so horrible. I can't believe they say things like that. Like, you know, you're not going to live as long if you don't wear modest clothing to these standards and just crazy things. And I was. Really shocked because she had never really expressed that to me before and then I was like, yeah But you don't really care about that. You wear whatever you want and she was like But I think about it every time I put on my clothing

Emma Starr 40:45

I thought about it every time I moved, like every time I had to adjust, and every time I walked, every time I stood up and I had to like, slump my skirt down, you know, or like, Oh, so hard. It was very annoying. Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 40:58

People don't realize how much of an effect that all this stuff has. What was the most surprising part of this experience for you?

Emma Starr 41:07

I think the most surprising experience was like, when I'm in a comfortable space, I feel comfortable taking up space. Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 41:15

And taking off all your

Emma Starr 41:16

clothes. Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 41:18

That was amazing! And you were comfortable, like, from the beginning too, which usually it takes a little bit more time.

Emma Starr 41:25

I remember telling you, like, I kind of have a feeling this is how it's going to go.

Rebecca Sigala 41:29

Yeah.

Emma Starr 41:30

You're going to be more

Rebecca Sigala 41:30

comfortable than you thought.

Emma Starr 41:32

It wasn't like me forcing myself to do it. I was just like, wow, I basically have been taking off my clothes for months. Like with all of this introspection and like doing that, like I've basically been doing that emotionally. So why not like embody that's a beautiful way to put it. So true.

Rebecca Sigala 41:52

So true. Yeah, I had already done it. That was such a beautiful day.

Emma Starr 41:58

I want to go back. I know. Me too. One day. Again. I'll do it again.

Rebecca Sigala 42:06

Like I'm just imagining you getting your hair and makeup done and like The song that played over and over again for Emma, right? For Emma, by Bon Iver. That was, I love that song. We got so in the zone that we didn't even realize that it just

Emma Starr 42:23

kept Time just like, time just like flew. Yeah. I just remember it was just like, I don't want to stop. I feel so like, high on myself. It's like, it's crazy. I've never felt like that before. They don't give themselves permission to feel that way. And also, I remember I said to you, I like made it very clear. I was like, I'm doing this for myself, like for no one else, like not showing anyone else these pictures for like a while.

Rebecca Sigala 42:50

Yeah. Like, it's like just, I didn't even ask you either. I was like, not going to ask her for a while

Emma Starr 42:57

until you bring

Rebecca Sigala 42:58

it up.

Emma Starr 43:00

But it's crazy. Because I feel like when I read the journal things. It takes me back, like, just by words. But now when I look at the picture, now it also takes me back.

Rebecca Sigala 43:11

Yeah. It's

Emma Starr 43:12

nice having, like, words, but then it's also nice having art. It's like both.

Rebecca Sigala 43:19

Your album is absolutely stunning. My mouth just dropped open when I saw it for the first time. It's like a weapon. It literally

Emma Starr 43:29

is

Rebecca Sigala 43:29

like a weapon. Like, it's so heavy.

Emma Starr 43:32

Man. And honestly, when I first felt it, I was like, whoa, like this literally is

Rebecca Sigala 43:38

heavy.

Emma Starr 43:39

I was, yeah, like, it's literally carrying so much weight, like so much weight, but it's like released, like the weight was released

Rebecca Sigala 43:51

the weight of what

Emma Starr 43:52

of all the things that I was working through, like the things I feel. They don't feel like that anymore. So every time I just pull the album, I like can physically feel how much weight all of these things took up, but they don't actually feel like that anymore.

Rebecca Sigala 44:11

That is so beautiful. What was it like to see the pictures for the first time and then see the album? Was that part

Emma Starr 44:19

surprising? I think I was very surprised that it was okay to like, and beautiful to like exist. As how I am like with my choices for what I want to wear, what I didn't or like my hair, my makeup, I was just like thinking of that girl, like my younger self that always felt like she was weird. And the things that she liked was weird. And. Those were all things I felt like I channeled in those shots and like they were really beautiful like they didn't feel

Rebecca Sigala 44:57

so Yeah, and then we had that conversation before about how You don't have to show up to this boudoir experience to the actual portrait session wearing what you think you're supposed to wear or what society says as sexy, that you really can show up as yourself. What was the mindset transformation that you went through there? I think it really started with that dress.

Emma Starr 45:24

Such a cool dress. Like, it started with the dress, and I remember when I found it, I saw this girl who I followed on Instagram, and she was wearing this dress, and I don't know how I found this dress. Like, I literally don't know how, but I was like, this is literally like a coral reef. I have to have this dress. So I was like, It kind of looks like Zara. Maybe it's Zara. What do you know? It was Zara. So I went on eBay and I found the dress and then I sent it to my parents house in Boston and I realized how much of like a side boob like it was. I was like,

Rebecca Sigala 46:02

whoa. That made me feel better about it. Cause usually I'm like, no, we're not doing. Hello, it's like, it's artistic nudity, but you were like, I have this beautiful dress and I can tell when someone is doing something because it's their authentic self versus I'm wearing a dress because I want to cover up my body. And I was like, okay, let's talk about this dress. And then you told me that it had a lot of side boob. I'm like, okay, cool. You can wear that one.

Emma Starr 46:31

I know. I remember this conversation. I remember how weary you were. You were like a dress like was like, I was like, no, don't worry. Like it has like a lot of side boom and I haven't worn it yet. I'm nervous to wear it. And you're like, okay, you're wearing it. I was like, okay, that like started it. That was like the artistic vision felt like it was like each of the outfits was like I was kind of entering a different realm, like I kind of slowly swam in, ocean y, and then like I got out of the ocean, and then I was in like a beautiful forest with lavender, and like, it very much was a journey, like I felt like it was like a journey through like beautiful places in nature, and it was just very, very beautiful.

Rebecca Sigala 47:14

Relax. Because what did you think that you had to wear, you were supposed to wear to a boudoir shoot beforehand?

Emma Starr 47:22

I thought I had to wear like, garters, or like, Or like, black or red, like BDSM lingerie. I mean like,

Rebecca Sigala 47:30

well, if that's your thing, but it's so not your thing, that wouldn't have fit for you.

Emma Starr 47:35

No, it wasn't. I mean, I think that's also the danger of like, Comparing yourself to people online, like the things that I saw are like, whenever I went into a lingerie store, I always saw like, you know, the like very lingerie first. I was like, Whoa, that's really intense. But I knew I wanted to get kind of like one really nice thing. And that was the beautiful nightgown that I found. Yeah. I love the back, like the back was so beautiful.

Rebecca Sigala 48:04

Yeah,

Emma Starr 48:05

I love

Rebecca Sigala 48:06

that. All of the pieces were so amazing. And then you were actually even able to get to the point and I don't think you were sure about if you wanted to do fully nude or not, but then it just came very naturally as

Emma Starr 48:18

well. I think it was just like the natural progression. Cause I started off in like a dress and then the dress came off and then I was doing the like different sets. I think the three different sets. And then I was like, okay, well like this is the only thing that's next. Like slowly things are coming off. So like something, like at some point everything is

Rebecca Sigala 48:41

and just the fact that you felt safe enough to do that. I also

Emma Starr 48:45

knew that like, I didn't want to take off all of my jewelry cause I just feel like jewelry is like me. I love that. It's like it's like a part of me. So like, my bracelets have been with me since I was like 12 years old. So like, I felt like it was important to have them as like, almost like

Rebecca Sigala 49:01

a tattoo or something.

Emma Starr 49:03

Yeah. Yeah. And like, even when I was fully new, I was still like, Wearing them. And I thought that was really, really beautiful. It's like those, like those, like those, like Vogue shoes were like, they're dripping in jewelry, but they're not wearing it.

Rebecca Sigala 49:18

Totally.

Emma Starr 49:20

And yours are kind

Rebecca Sigala 49:20

of like edgy kind of jewelry. I love them. It's absolutely perfect. And then after the boudoir experience, how did you feel immediately after and in the week?

Emma Starr 49:34

I think like it, it wasn't something I like fully processed like that day. I mean, I came home and I like journaled about it. And I remember I sent you what I wrote, but

Rebecca Sigala 49:45

yeah, I

Emma Starr 49:46

think like I didn't fully process it all until later on. Like, I think it was kind of slowly processing the day.

Rebecca Sigala 49:54

Yeah.

Emma Starr 49:54

Very hard for me to fully process something in real time. It takes me a while if it's like something that was really, really deep. Even when I got the album, I felt like I was still processing it and then I had to process it knowing that now I actually have the images.

Rebecca Sigala 50:09

Yeah. And I think in a way it's such a beautiful opportunity that this journey is ever evolving and I think it's so freaking cool that even before you got your pictures, you decided to. Continue the journey and start the new sexy, which is my coaching program. And I think you decided to do it in June and the new sexy started in September, right? I think so. Yeah. Why did you decide to do that? What made you, and I feel like maybe we'll, we'll talk more about that another time, but I'd love to

Emma Starr 50:44

touch base on it. I think I was still craving more of like this environment. It

Rebecca Sigala 50:50

just,

Emma Starr 50:52

what is that? I like the environment. Things I like still wanted to work through and process. And I also wanted to be with other women that maybe had had that experience too. And we have that in common and add insights, like other insights. And also like, I, I've always liked being with people who are older than me. Cause I think they like can teach you so much. They have such different life experiences. And I feel like I remember telling you on the call, I was just like, I'm too young. Like do other young people do these things? Like, I think I had this vision that like, it wasn't for people like me. It wasn't for someone in their late twenties. It was like for people who were older and like, who had more struggles. Well, you've

Rebecca Sigala 51:34

been through a lot in your life.

Emma Starr 51:37

Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 51:37

And you are on a path. You've been on a path for a while. So I think that's really what it's about. Less so about the actual age.

Emma Starr 51:48

Yeah, but like, I remember that is what I was thinking about. I was like, Oh, like, who am I to do this? Number one, like I'm skinny. And number two, like I'm so young.

Rebecca Sigala 51:57

Yeah, that

Emma Starr 51:58

really like that was in my mind. So

Rebecca Sigala 52:00

invalidating, but it's not your fault. That's what everyone does.

Emma Starr 52:04

But these calls and the coaching and Like, even though it's technically not allowed that, like, people can like respond when you're coaching. I remember one person, I think, asked if they could interrupt and say something. And like, it was just like, so appreciated,

Rebecca Sigala 52:19

like,

Emma Starr 52:20

it was just like, so nice to be seen and heard. And what she said was so beautiful. And then even on like the office hours the other day. Yeah. Someone was just like, I just felt so seen and heard and like, I've never really felt that from other women and I wanted that and I was like, like is where I'm going to get that.

Rebecca Sigala 52:42

Yes. Totally. That's why I call it a mastermind because it's these women coming together who are on similar journeys, want similar things. Of course we're all different ages and our backgrounds are different and they have different stories. But. There's such a common thread that connects all of us and to be able to have women who are self aware and wise and really there to be vulnerable and to open the space for it to be a safe space is one of the most healing things especially I think when it comes to body image because like you said a lot of experiences that you had growing up Were because of things that other people said or what other people might have thought of you or people in validating your experience. So to be in a group of women where they're actually validating your experience, whether or not, maybe they had a very similar experience to you. And that's very validating or just like, Oh my God, I totally get that. Even though that wasn't their experience, it's just very, very healing.

Emma Starr 53:45

Yeah, it's very healing. Like it's crazy. Cause like, I haven't even like met. These people in person. Yeah, we're supposed to do next week. I know. Like, I feel like if I ever needed something, I feel like they'd be there for me. And like, that's so nice. Like that, like, it's so, like, you, I can tell that like you very, very carefully chose and like really thought about the group dynamic. Like it's very, very evident. I'm so glad you see that.

Rebecca Sigala 54:19

It's very true. I gotcha. How would you describe your life now? How is it different than it was when you began or before you began?

Emma Starr 54:34

I think that like instead of running away from difficult things, I think now I kind of like, I observe the discomfort in my body and I like, validate the discomfort, but then like I breathe through it and I like work through it instead of just running away from it or like shutting down. You're comfortable

Rebecca Sigala 54:56

with the discomfort.

Emma Starr 54:58

Yeah, which is really hard. It's really, really hard, but like also in friendships and like in relationships, you have to be vulnerable and you can't just like pretend to like be this person with like a tough exterior that no one can crack. Like, no one is invincible. And like, if you want people to like you, and like, know you You have to let people in. Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 55:25

It's like this dance because it's also feeling comfortable with yourself and trusting yourself and, and understanding who you are so that you can actually let somebody

Emma Starr 55:34

in. It's like, it all kind of comes together. And I used to blame myself. Like if I let someone in and then it didn't work out, whether it's like any kind of relationship now, like I think now I'm just like good for you that you even like that you even tried. That you even, that you even put yourself out there, that like you put yourself in a situation like that, even though you felt really vulnerable and it was hard for you, like good for you. And like, it didn't work out this time, but maybe it'll work out another time. But every time, like we'll get easier. Amazing.

Rebecca Sigala 56:11

What about like day to day, like. Waking up in the morning, going through your day moments, what's different?

Emma Starr 56:21

I feel this, like, inner power. Like, I just feel braver. Like, I just feel, like, more confident that I can do it. Instead of being like, you can't do it, you can't do it, you're gonna fail. I don't know if I like fully trust myself, but I feel like, you know, really, really working hard to like set boundaries and make choices that like, I'm proud of and listen to your body. Like, and listen to my body. Like, I feel like that's how I'm going to have trust in myself. Like I'm definitely getting there. Yeah, you totally

Rebecca Sigala 56:58

are. I feel like there's so many times that you would share wins in the past, you know, a couple months even with the new sexy that had to do with really having a dialogue with your body and really listening to your body and your intuition on a deep level. Is that something that you recognize in yourself?

Emma Starr 57:20

Yeah. Like, and it makes me kind of sad to think about because I feel like the reason why I am like more vocal about it is because I'm like trying to work through anxiety and like panic attacks. So it's like, I have to do it. Like I literally don't have a choice. Like I have to do it. Um, and it's like really scary and like, Like I think this is literally like my body being like hello, pay attention to me, like you're in this situation, but you weren't listening to me, do the work. I mean you also, you

Rebecca Sigala 57:58

also did this all during a time of war with sirens and threats and. Crazy things in the news, and you're able to have such an incredible transformation and such a deepening of a relationship with your body, even through all that, and of course, you're going to have anxiety as well like that.

Emma Starr 58:21

It's just like kind of crazy to like see the effects that war and trauma like have on people and the way that they treat people and the way that like they think of humanity and relationships and I mean it's something that like I've noticed through like dating here in a war of like Like, people are just, they're, it's, they're so different, like, it has changed the way people are regarding intimacy, and

Rebecca Sigala 58:49

I'm sure we don't have time to really go into that, but, like, what's the main thing that's different? I'm curious.

Emma Starr 58:56

I think that it's not really, like, treasured in the same way. It's like, oh, like, I'm lonely, I just want someone to be with right now, and then, like, on to the next.

Rebecca Sigala 59:07

Wow. So you're doing this work during this time actually gives you that experience of

Emma Starr 59:14

having

Rebecca Sigala 59:14

a different option, I guess.

Emma Starr 59:16

Exactly. Exactly. But it's kind of sad. It's kind of sad. It kind of just shows that like some people really like they feel that things are like disposable and a lot of the time I feel like. It's women who, who are left feeling like they're disposable.

Rebecca Sigala 59:34

What would you say to a woman that's feeling like that right now, given your whole journey and everything that you've

Emma Starr 59:40

been through? I would say to like, try to get back to the things that like, make her, her. And to like, serve on herself with people that build her up, instead of make her feel like she's just, Being used for like one thing that what other people think of her isn't who she is.

Rebecca Sigala 59:58

Yeah.

Emma Starr 59:59

Like she has how she sees herself. She has control over her impression. Her body. Her body. And yeah, especially her

Rebecca Sigala 1:00:08

sexuality. Like. Yeah. Beautiful. So, I think last question, what would you say to someone who's secretly thinking about signing up for the Healing Boudoir experience and maybe they were like you and it's like, what am I even going to do? What am I going to talk about? I don't know if I could do this. What would you say to them? I would say we should be

Emma Starr 1:00:36

friends. I've

Rebecca Sigala 1:00:39

got you girl.

Emma Starr 1:00:41

I also would say that she's so brave for even thinking about doing it and like putting herself in a situation that she is scared about but she's still contemplating like doing it. I think that that's like pretty badass and I would say be open to all the possibilities of what it can bring you and really try to do everything wholeheartedly. Like really focus on the journaling and like kind of see where that takes you and really like spend time with thinking about the questions and thinking about yourself and your life and also just like talking about it because like people in your life, like, you know, the people that really know you, they can give you insight that will help you like throughout this experience.

Rebecca Sigala 1:01:28

Yeah, I have so many clients who actually someone I was just talking to recently, she was like, I just told my mom and my sister and I just delivered her gallery to her. So it's been a while since we've been working together. And it's like, they actually didn't even have a bad reaction. And it's like, you know, people thinking that someone's gonna say something or think something, but I think the, the lesson or what we learned from it is just really being true to yourself and showing up authentically. It feels good for you. And other people receive that well as well. And it's inspiring because that's all people really want, I think, is just to be able to be themselves and being yourself gives other women the opportunity to do that for themselves. They feel safer too.

Emma Starr 1:02:17

Yeah, I really like listening to other people like talk about their experiences. Because everyone has such different experiences.

Rebecca Sigala 1:02:26

Yeah.

Emma Starr 1:02:26

It's really cool. Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 1:02:29

That's something that I've totally picked up on this journey. Like my career journey and my personal journey is just like, I have this deep desire to really understand all different experiences of life. And I mean, specifically living in different bodies and different body image journeys, but everything really. And I love to be able to see it from their perspective so that I can. Just, I think just offer them like a safe space, like women who have been through breast cancer, or women who live in larger bodies, or thinner bodies, or have an autoimmune disease, or whatever it is. Everyone has their own story. And me being able to like really learn about it helps me be able to, I don't know, I just, I just love it. I just love being able to provide women the space to just be themselves and for me to actually see them for who they are.

Emma Starr 1:03:25

Yeah, I didn't even know something like this existed, honestly. Actually someone, like my best friend in Boston, I told her about it. She was like, Oh, like I started doing research as to like, if there are people like that, who do that. And I was, and I was like, Oh, so who do you find? And she's like, you can find anyone. Like I found people who are like photographers. But, like, I didn't find anyone to do, like, this, like, the coaching, the whole, like, embodiment process. And, like, I think that that's what she wants, kind of like me. Like, that's the part that I, that I was craving. Like, yeah, the photo is amazing, like, incredible. But like, that first call, we didn't even talk about that until the end. Like the last five minutes.

Rebecca Sigala 1:04:11

Yeah. I

Emma Starr 1:04:11

know I want more people to do that

Rebecca Sigala 1:04:15

or she can come to me, tell her to come to Israel or join the new sexy

Emma Starr 1:04:21

fingers. I'll ask her when I fly to Boston. Okay. This was absolutely amazing.

Rebecca Sigala 1:04:29

You said such insightful and beautiful things and I cannot wait for everyone to hear this.

Emma Starr 1:04:41

Thanks, Emma. Thanks for coming on. Thank you for having me.