Embodied Confidence: From Knowing To Becoming With Becky Sternberg

In this episode, I talk to my amazing client Becky, a confidence coach who joined The New Sexy Mastermind during a beautiful and expansive chapter of her life. She was thriving - deep in her healing journey, growing her business, and showing up fully for her clients. But there was still one piece that didn’t feel aligned: the way she saw herself in the mirror.

Even though she knew she was worthy, she didn’t always feel it in her body. Our work together led her through a powerful journey toward true embodiment - not just for herself, but for her clients, her family, and the woman she’s becoming.

This is an inspiring, deeply relatable conversation about what it really takes to live your work from the inside out.

For more details and to apply for The New Sexy: https://www.rebeccasigalacoaching.com/the-new-sexy

I would love to hear from you on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/rebeccasigalastudio

Transcript

Rebecca 0:01

Hello, beautiful souls. Welcome back to The Body Image Revolution. Today is going to be so much fun because I have the pleasure of introducing you to my beautiful and talented and super sweet client. Becky, I am a. Huge fan of hers, and I had the honor of working with her in The New Sexy Mastermind last round. She is a life coach for Jewish women, helping them build confidence and bring more joy into their lives, and that is what I love about The New Sexy Mastermind. These women are deep on their healing journeys, but actually a lot of them are healers and coaches themselves, just like Becky, and it's. So powerful to witness that, to witness women, not just learning more for their craft, but actually embodying what they teach. Becky came in to the mastermind from a pretty solid place, but she didn't realize how harsh she was being with herself when she looked in the mirror. And this journey is so inspiring. I know you're gonna connect and relate and just take. So much from it. It's about true embodiment, about shifting the way that she sees herself, not just for her own healing, but for her family, her husband, her kids, and all of the incredible women that she supports. We talk all about that in this episode, and I think you're gonna absolutely love it. Let's dive in.

Becky Sternberg 1:23

Hello Rebecca! Thank you so much for having me.

Rebecca 1:26

Yes. I'm so happy that you're here. I love talking to you. So Becky, I'm really excited for people to hear your story. It's such a special one, and I know that this probably feels pretty far away, but do you think that you could start with when you were younger and what your relationship with your body was like, and we can kind of bring people through the timeline of your life leading up to where you are now?

Becky Sternberg 1:57

Yes, for sure. And I think that's really, a good starting point.'cause it didn't all happen within a year before your program. Like it really is a

Rebecca 2:05

Right, a hundred percent.

Becky Sternberg 2:08

So, let's go back to middle school. Let's say sixth, seventh grade. And, you know, puberty and body changing and things are happening, you know, everyone go back there and cringe a little. Rough And I, was always like a very happy playing dancing. I always did a lot of dancing. I was that kind of kid. Movement. And suddenly in seventh grade, I started realizing other people are putting effort into how they look. Maybe I should also,

Rebecca 2:45

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 2:45

people comments about clothing and hair and, you know, weight and all these body image ideas. Maybe I should also. I even remember a few comments I got during that time period. It kind of was the catalyst for going down the very long road of self-criticism. I presented as a very confident, happy go lucky, nothing bothers me kind of person. And I remember thinking to myself, such intense critical thoughts of your hair is out of place. Go fix it before someone sees.

Rebecca 3:30

Wow. Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 3:30

No one's gonna like you'cause you're wearing the wrong shoes. Or, oh, you gained a few pounds. Ooh, that's terrible. Oh, like all of these thoughts were in my head I

Rebecca 3:46

And no one ever would've guessed.

Becky Sternberg 3:48

No one would've guessed. No one would've guessed. I developed a, disordered eating throughout high school. It started little

Rebecca 3:59

Yeah,

Becky Sternberg 3:59

before high school, and then through high school no one even knew

Rebecca 4:04

yeah,

Becky Sternberg 4:04

I just lost a little weight. And then I just lost a little more weight

Rebecca 4:08

yeah.

Becky Sternberg 4:08

and I started dressing different.

Rebecca 4:10

And you probably just got praised for it, right?

Becky Sternberg 4:13

I got praised for it.

Rebecca 4:15

Yeah, me too.

Becky Sternberg 4:17

I wasn't angry, I wasn't upset. I was very high functioning like I was, you know, head of every single department in my school

Rebecca 4:27

Wow,

Becky Sternberg 4:27

be

Rebecca 4:28

I see that. I so see that.

Becky Sternberg 4:31

no one would've known.

Rebecca 4:34

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 4:35

And my disordered eating went from not eating and I'm losing weight to all of a sudden. I'm in a different country, I'm in a different,

Rebecca 4:46

You moved to Israel.

Becky Sternberg 4:47

I moved to Israel right after I got married. We moved to Israel. Just a very different head space. I started having babies like a year later and I started eating a lot more, gaining a lot of weight,

Rebecca 5:02

mm-hmm.

Becky Sternberg 5:02

going the opposite from when I was in high school. And that critical voice went the other way of you're not skinny enough, you have to stop eating, you know, eat less food. So that you'll be skinnier to well now you're just fat. So just give up, Give up now and do whatever you want'cause you're fat anyways. And I still, I still presented as that confident. I don't care how I look, it's okay. I'm beautiful regardless. Just ignore it. And I started wearing baggier clothing and

Rebecca 5:41

I think this is where people confused body acceptance with like that resignation of like, fuck it. I don't even, I don't even care anymore and I'm gonna present, like, you know, I'm all confident and love myself, but really I'm just resigning to not being happy with myself.

Becky Sternberg 6:04

Yes. And it was fake.

Rebecca 6:06

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 6:08

I

Rebecca 6:08

And so really I've been there after having so many babies and just feeling so disconnected from ourselves.

Becky Sternberg 6:17

hopeless. Like why should I even try? Why

Rebecca 6:21

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 6:21

should I even try? And that critical voice just stayed with me. It was like that loving partner that will never go away, you know? Stuck with me.

Rebecca 6:30

inner critic.

Becky Sternberg 6:32

Inner critic. Yes. And we eventually moved from Israel. We were living in Israel for almost eight years. I did everything there. I set up my whole life there. We got married, we moved there. I, got a degree while I was living there. I started working as a therapist. While I was living there. I had four kids living there like my whole entire life. And then

Rebecca 6:59

Was there,

Becky Sternberg 7:00

two years ago, we moved from Israel to America.

Rebecca 7:05

it's a huge change.

Becky Sternberg 7:06

It is a huge change, and I will tell you one of the biggest reasons that we moved in the first place is because felt that I couldn't be my true self while living there. And I felt that I couldn't raise my children to be who they wanna be. We were not in alignment with our full values.

Rebecca 7:32

Right. You didn't feel like you were fully actualized or fully expressed.

Becky Sternberg 7:37

Right. I couldn't really be everything I wanted to be. And I think that was a big step of saying no to my inner critic and saying, I'm not gonna continue listening to you anymore. I need to be who I am.

Rebecca 7:49

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 7:50

And that was like a huge step for us.

Rebecca 7:53

It just says so much about you trusting yourself, because even in that situation, it's not necessarily body related, but it could be just the fact that because everything's body related, right? But, just that there's so much judgment around that and so many other people's thoughts and opinions about Israel versus America and Jewish life and this and that, and you just really leaned into your own self-trust and intuition and made a huge leap regardless of what anyone else thought.

Becky Sternberg 8:29

yeah, I will connect it back to the body piece for you.

Rebecca 8:33

You don't have to, only if it's true.

Becky Sternberg 8:37

Part of what kind of brought me to the realization that I wasn't living my full true life is that, I sent my, I have two girls first, and they're very close in age, so I sent them to gan at the same time. And there were so many rules in the gan. You know, you can't wear nail polish. Okay? But she's three years old and she likes to wear a little pink nail polish. You are not allowed to wear nail polish, no makeup. There's so many rules, like they have to wear long sleeves. And

Rebecca 9:08

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 9:09

I understand, you know, I respect, those are your rules. So if I'm choosing to send your school, I'll respect those rules.

Rebecca 9:17

right.

Becky Sternberg 9:18

I am imagining right now in my mind, my daughter, who was three,

Rebecca 9:25

Mm-hmm.

Becky Sternberg 9:26

I was putting on makeup in my bathroom in the morning before I brought her to gun, and she came to me at three years old and she said. Can I have some? It's sparkly. And I said, no, I'm sorry. In gan you can't wear it. She said to me, do it in a way that they won't know, which is very cute. And on the other hand, I was like, what am I teaching my kid? I'm teaching her that, I don't feel there's anything wrong with wearing makeup. I don't feel there's anything wrong with her wearing makeup, but we have to hide it..

Rebecca 10:00

Yeah. Wow. That's so intense. And also, it's so cute that she knew that you didn't really have an issue with it, though. I love that. She's like, it's okay. Like, we're on the same page, mom, you know. Yeah. And not everywhere in Israel is like that. But I get it. Even in, not as in the box places, there is still a lot of rules and gender roles and things like that. So I really relate to that.

Becky Sternberg 10:37

yeah.

Rebecca 10:39

Okay, so then you left Israel and you moved to America and you threw yourself into this whole personal development journey. What did you do? And. Was that like for you?

Becky Sternberg 10:55

Okay. So since birth, I've been a very aware, emotionally in tuned human being. So, self-developement was not something new to me, right? That's always been my path. I chose being a therapist as my profession because that's something I really believe in and relate to. But when I moved to America, I said, okay, we made this huge, huge change in our lives so that we can live. As we wanna live with the values that we really believe in and like, let those lead our lives instead of what everyone else is telling us we need to do. So, just as a side note, that's when I got my second ear piercings. What do we make,

Rebecca 11:45

I love it, rebel.

Becky Sternberg 11:49

Like finally at the age of 30, I can, get a second piercing. It was very exciting.

Rebecca 11:55

It's perfect. That looks so good on you.

Becky Sternberg 11:58

Thank you. Yeah, to me, that was like the biggest, I can do what I wanna do, I can pierce my ear again if I.

Rebecca 12:06

Ugh, I get it. I totally get it. There's so many points in my life and I think in so many women's lives where they feel like they're put in this box and there's so many pressures and there's so many expectations, and then to do anything against the grain, even if it's seemingly small, just feels like such a big deal.

Becky Sternberg 12:28

Yeah, seemingly small, like a tiny little ears piercing.

Rebecca 12:32

Yeah. But in that religious community that you lived in, it was so big. It meant so much.

Becky Sternberg 12:41

It would've symbolized something to the whole community or to the

Rebecca 12:45

Yeah. That you're not like them.

Becky Sternberg 12:47

I'm not like them on purpose.

Rebecca 12:50

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 12:51

But we moved to a beautiful community where everyone can be who they wanna be and still go to the same school and still their kids play with each other and we still have Shabbat meals together and it's so beautiful to be in a space like that. And it's really been helping me, find who I am and what I believe in and then lead my life with those.

Rebecca 13:16

That's amazing. Okay, so, Tell me a little bit about year before we began working together,

Becky Sternberg 13:24

So a year before we began working together was about when we moved, I would say, I was on a, you know, I wanted to lose some weight. wanted to get more fit those were really important pieces of my life. And I started, you know, eating differently and exercising and just going through that whole journey. And I was doing it from a place of really hating my body and wanting to change everything about my body.'cause I was so mad at it. I was so angry. Like, how could you betray me and, and, and be fat? How could you betray me and not look exactly how I want?

Rebecca 14:08

Right. It was like, this is like the problem in my life that needs to be fixed.

Becky Sternberg 14:13

Yes, I need to fix you. I will eat. Differently, or I will eat less or whatever it is. And I will work out more every single day. Even when I'm tired, even when I don't want to. Even, even

Rebecca 14:25

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 14:25

so that my body could look exactly how I wanted it to look. And I

Rebecca 14:30

Yeah,

Becky Sternberg 14:31

it did not work, obviously.

Rebecca 14:33

yeah,

Becky Sternberg 14:34

I was forcing myself into this space of demanding from my body something it couldn't give me,

Rebecca 14:42

yeah.

Becky Sternberg 14:42

mad when it couldn't give it to me.

Rebecca 14:44

Right, right. So when you said that it did not work, what does that mean?

Becky Sternberg 14:50

I didn't lose, you know, 50 pounds and become

Rebecca 14:54

What you expected to lose in your mind?

Becky Sternberg 14:56

Exactly. I didn't all of a sudden turn into this tiny stick figure like I wanted. I didn't go back to my pre-pregnancy, pre-wedding clothing. Like, I wanted, like all these ideas and goals that I had,

Rebecca 15:10

Yeah. And that kind of feel promised to you if you just work hard enough,

Becky Sternberg 15:15

yeah. I mean, I promise to myself like, okay, just at the birthday party, don't eat the cake and then you'll lose weight.

Rebecca 15:22

Yeah,

Becky Sternberg 15:23

push yourself to work out six days a week and then,

Rebecca 15:28

Right, right. And it's so hard'cause those things are so amazing to move your body and nourish your body. And then I think what you said is just so on point. It's like you were doing it from this place of just really hating the way you look and wanting to change everything about your body.

Becky Sternberg 15:47

Yeah, absolutely. It was like out of a punishment, like I deserve to be punished because I gained weight, or I deserve to be punished because I indulged in the chocolate cake.

Rebecca 16:00

Right. And is it true that at this point when you were restricting and doing things not from a place of self-love, it didn't necessarily come out on the outside. Like if someone would look at you and look at your life and where you were at, would they think she's not confident or she doesn't love herself?

Becky Sternberg 16:22

Not at all. I hid that. Nobody knew at all that I was going through anything.

Rebecca 16:30

Yeah. Yeah, that makes so much sense. I think that's very relatable, that on the outside everything seems a certain way and then it's just this inner critic, this narrative that's in our minds that is just so strong and we don't even necessarily realize how it affects everything else in our lives. I just also wanna mention that you were on this, I guess, what do you call it, a health journey. You were focused on that, and then also you started your business and you went to a business coach and you started coaching clients, right? That all kind of happened with the year.

Becky Sternberg 17:09

Yeah. This past year has been very busy. We moved, trying to be healthier and at the same time segueing from being a therapist, like a family therapist to being a coach for Jewish moms. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All

Rebecca 17:25

Love that.

Becky Sternberg 17:27

Yeah,

Rebecca 17:29

To help them with their confidence and their joy. Right.

Becky Sternberg 17:32

that's what I do. Yes.

Rebecca 17:34

It's amazing. It's like we teach what we need. We totally teach what we need.

Becky Sternberg 17:40

we teach what we need. We teach what we relate to. Yeah.

Rebecca 17:44

And what we can understand on such a deep level. I think that's, incredible. Okay, so then when you came across my work, what did you think

Becky Sternberg 17:55

so I saw your masterclass

Rebecca 18:00

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 18:00

I think it was on Facebook

Rebecca 18:02

Oh, thank you Facebook.

Becky Sternberg 18:06

And I was like, Hmm, that sounds interesting, but like I love myself so maybe I

Rebecca 18:14

I'm good.

Becky Sternberg 18:15

good, I'll pass. But then it kept coming up and I kept thinking like, it doesn't hurt to just sign up and

Rebecca 18:24

Yeah, right.

Becky Sternberg 18:26

signed up and I think out of the four days I came to one and a quarter of them

Rebecca 18:34

We just like dropped in, made an appearance. I love it. Coach Becky.

Becky Sternberg 18:44

I am around. And that first I remember who was talking when I first got on it was one of the ladies sharing something about her own experience, and it kind of shook me. honestly shook my core. I was, I was a little shocked that other people maybe go through this also.

Rebecca 19:08

Wow.

Becky Sternberg 19:09

And they're not afraid to talk about it. I thought she

Rebecca 19:12

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 19:13

brave that she was talking about it openly and really admitting that she can feel confident on the outside and she can present as very confident. And yet on the inside she has this nagging inner critic constantly talking to her and yelling at her and, you know, shoving her down. I thought that was very brave and I wanted to continue in that space.

Rebecca 19:38

Hmm. Wow. Yeah, I think we think that we're alone in this because it is something that is so quote unquote in our heads. And we see the reality outside of us, and everyone seems fine, and we're supposed to be confident and we're supposed to love ourselves, especially people who are on the healing journey and in their personal development space. And so the struggle just feels very lonely. And then when you hear someone else talk about it, it just automatically releases the shame. It's like, oh, okay.

Becky Sternberg 20:17

Right.

Rebecca 20:17

is something that so many women deal with. Almost every woman.

Becky Sternberg 20:22

Yeah, absolutely. And I felt like if she could be brave enough to open up and talk about it, then I could be brave enough to at least admit it to myself.

Rebecca 20:33

Yeah. And then we started chatting, right?

Becky Sternberg 20:37

Yeah, we just started chatting and then we had a little fun chatting.

Rebecca 20:42

Yeah. We started chatting and I remember there was a big moment. Do you remember it?

Becky Sternberg 20:48

I remember it because you were taking me through a visualization

Rebecca 20:53

Oh right.

Becky Sternberg 20:55

and like a full on eyes closed. Just sit there and breathe and visualize. And when we came out of that visualization, I think I said the words, I need this. I said, I need this so much in my life. In that moment, I was feeling very open and kind to myself and loving who I am and loving the process. That I'm

Rebecca 21:32

Like being, okay with where you were at.

Becky Sternberg 21:34

being okay with where I'm at knowing that I can go in any way and be okay with myself.

Rebecca 21:44

And do you remember what it was that made you feel like, I need this? I mean, I know it was the visualization, but was it thinking about the ways in which it impacted you or was it thinking about the ways that life could be different? Do you remember?

Becky Sternberg 22:02

Yeah, I really think it was how life could be different. I think you were showing me that could go down a path, I could choose a different path where don't have a critic 7 in my head,

Rebecca 22:17

Right.

Becky Sternberg 22:17

have open loving space to just be

Rebecca 22:21

Like every time you in the mirror,

Becky Sternberg 22:23

Every time I look in the mirror, every time I get dressed, every time I step out the door, every time I post on social media

Rebecca 22:31

right.

Becky Sternberg 22:32

for my business, I could just, without thinking critically, I could just act and move and be, and do Not be constantly in my head

Rebecca 22:45

yeah.

Becky Sternberg 22:46

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca 22:47

Yeah. Wow.

Becky Sternberg 22:49

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca 22:51

I feel like there's this theme in your life, of this self trust and this knowing of what you need and what you want. It's a really strong,

Becky Sternberg 23:03

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's really strong for things that are big moves, big impactful moves. But the day-to-day it's not, it was not very strong.

Rebecca 23:15

right, right. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, so you started and there was like a month between. When you signed up to when you started The New Sexy, I just remember being like, you are on fire. Like things shifting, things were happening. Do you remember that time period? Oh, totally, I mean, I think it's a huge mindset shift of just like, I'm doing this, I deserve this, I want this. I'm giving myself permission to think differently. It's half the battle.

Becky Sternberg 23:55

Mm-hmm. I think it was also that I was aware enough at that point that

Rebecca 24:00

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 24:00

it, and by signing up I was saying, it's gonna get better.

Rebecca 24:05

Yeah. Do you remember any wins during that time before we even started?

Becky Sternberg 24:09

Yes, I do, because I still do it. I remember we were talking, going through your class, weekly videos and one of them was set a timer to make sure you check in with yourself. And I was

Rebecca 24:25

Every two hours. Oh my gosh. I remember this conversation

Becky Sternberg 24:28

Like, no, I don't think so. I'm not gonna do that.

Rebecca 24:32

And I gave you a whole spiel.

Becky Sternberg 24:33

twice. Yeah. You were like, okay, fine. Just do one in the morning, one in the afternoon. I was like, could do one in the morning, one in the afternoon. And I did. And I remember being so frustrated the first few times it went off because I was in the middle of something. I couldn't stop and take care of what I really needed. I didn't

Rebecca 24:55

Right?

Becky Sternberg 24:56

for

Rebecca 24:56

Just so everyone knows who's listening these are. Check-ins with our bodies and ourselves. Every couple hours in the beginning of the course, we set alarms to just take a moment, close our eyes, take a deep breath, and ask our bodies what we need. And we don't necessarily keep them on forever. Actually, I've had mine on for months since I restarted it, but you don't have to keep it on forever. But it's just like that reminder to like really stop and start to have this loving dialogue with your body. So you were saying that you were frustrated?

Becky Sternberg 25:30

I was very frustrated. I was like, I don't have time for this. I'm busy. It doesn't matter what I want. I'm busy. I can't take a moment to myself. And I remember you just said like, it's okay. Just keep trying. It's okay. At least acknowledge what your body needs in that moment, even if you don't give your body what it needs.

Rebecca 25:48

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 25:49

And I was like, oh fine, Rebecca, I'll do it.

Rebecca 25:53

Well.

Becky Sternberg 25:54

I'm still doing it. It's

Rebecca 25:58

Amazing.

Becky Sternberg 26:00

life changing. Checking in with myself and then actually giving myself what I need has huge. like, oh yeah, I am a person, I am a human being that has needs and I'm gonna take care of myself.

Rebecca 26:18

Beautiful, I also remember you were like even starting to feel sexy before we even started, right?

Becky Sternberg 26:26

I think we spoke about, my definition was like being happy and open and

Rebecca 26:31

Ah,

Becky Sternberg 26:31

and singing and

Rebecca 26:33

you redefined it.

Becky Sternberg 26:34

Yes. And I started dancing more, which I used to do I remember as a little kid, I wouldn't walk anywhere. I would dance there like, you need to get to the kitchen. You dance there, you need a.

Rebecca 26:44

Beautiful.

Becky Sternberg 26:45

to your room, you dance to get there. And I started doing that again. And it is not only has it changed my life, like I personally am much happier in each moment. it opened up this pathway for me and my husband to connect more for me and my children to connect. It gave everyone in the house permission to just be who they are without being criticized, without second guessing.

Rebecca 27:14

Right. Because when we're less critical of ourselves, we're less critical of others too.

Becky Sternberg 27:19

mm-hmm.

Rebecca 27:20

That's amazing.

Becky Sternberg 27:22

for the whole family. Yeah.

Rebecca 27:24

Wow. That's so beautiful. Okay, so then we started, what was the experience like? Is there anything that sticks out to you?

Becky Sternberg 27:34

Yeah, I found it very validating, listening to what other women were going through. It gave me permission even if I wasn't going through the same exact thing. gave me that permission and that trust to say, okay, I can share what I am going through

Rebecca 27:55

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 27:56

that I'll have a support system and I'll have these incredible women surrounding me and, cheering for me, being with me.

Rebecca 28:06

Right.

Becky Sternberg 28:07

Yeah,

Rebecca 28:08

Yeah, I think that's a big part of it too.'cause you can switch your mindset but then think you're being like a little bit delusional. You know? But yeah, it's having a group of women who, you know, has your back and are working towards the same mindset that you are. Then it's like, oh, okay. There is actually this reality where people want to and do love their bodies,

Becky Sternberg 28:31

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca 28:31

which is not the norm.

Becky Sternberg 28:34

Exactly. Yeah, it was very validating and like a safety net for me.

Rebecca 28:40

Yeah. Tell me about some of your big breakthroughs.

Becky Sternberg 28:45

Allowing myself to, once again, just feel good and confident without second guessing myself

Rebecca 28:55

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 28:56

like, I can get dressed in four minutes now instead of 25

Rebecca 29:00

Yes.

Becky Sternberg 29:02

And be like, super confident and happy and run out the door

Rebecca 29:06

And like go on social media.

Becky Sternberg 29:08

can't go on social media and I can now go on social media without makeup, without fanciness and just

Rebecca 29:16

good.

Becky Sternberg 29:16

people how real and genuine I am

Rebecca 29:20

Yeah,

Becky Sternberg 29:21

not be

Rebecca 29:22

and it shows. It's coming through. Every time I see you, you're glowing.

Becky Sternberg 29:28

Oh, thank you.

Rebecca 29:30

Just, it feels so you. At least it feels like, and maybe you're good at hiding it. I don't know. You tell me, but it feels like you're on the same page with yourself.

Becky Sternberg 29:41

yes, yes, yes. And you know, I am very good at hiding it, but I don't need to hide anymore. You know, I, I don't. When I do start getting a critical thought, I know how to talk to it. I know how to talk with it and through it, and I don't feel like I'm constantly looking over my shoulder or looking back, how many likes did it get or does that person approve? Do I approve? Am I living the way that I wanna be living?

Rebecca 30:12

Yes,

Becky Sternberg 30:13

Yes.

Rebecca 30:15

my opinion matters the most.

Becky Sternberg 30:18

Exactly, exactly. opinion is what's right for me.

Rebecca 30:23

And you became like the boundaries queen, I feel like, right. Of like the whole round and supporting other women in their boundary setting too. I really feel like you held such beautiful space

Becky Sternberg 30:37

yes, yes. I am quite good at boundaries at this point in my life. I also had a beautiful shift in. My physical health journey of no longer do I eat right and exercise because I wanna be tiny, skinny model looking.

Rebecca 30:55

Whoa.

Becky Sternberg 30:56

do it from a place of a deep desire to take care of myself and give back to my body and show gratitude to my, physical body for

Rebecca 31:10

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 31:11

through.

Rebecca 31:12

Yeah,

Becky Sternberg 31:12

not like this fake toxic we've spoken about. This is fake toxic. Like, just get over it. You know, look at all the things that your body has done for you and be grateful.

Rebecca 31:23

right.

Becky Sternberg 31:23

Like it's not that at all. It's that I genuinely love and care for my body now I exercise so that I can. Continue to be strong and play with my kids.

Rebecca 31:35

Energized.

Becky Sternberg 31:36

Yeah, exactly.

Rebecca 31:37

Wow, that's beautiful. I remember that moment when you said I'm not measuring myself anymore. I'm not weighing myself anymore.

Becky Sternberg 31:44

That

Rebecca 31:44

a big deal?

Becky Sternberg 31:44

part of, that was a big part of, getting to this mindset shift. Yeah. I had to take a break from the scale that I could recenter and really just know why am I doing this? Why am I exercising? Why am I eating nourishing food?

Rebecca 32:03

Right. When we're weighing ourselves, measuring ourselves like that, it's so easy to spring back into those old mindsets where every centimeter, millimeter, every number on the scale changes how we feel about ourselves, and we're reliance on that.

Becky Sternberg 32:20

Yeah, it's actually very beautiful. Now if I do get on the scale,

Rebecca 32:26

Mm-hmm.

Becky Sternberg 32:26

It's just a number. It's

Rebecca 32:28

It's just a number.

Becky Sternberg 32:29

just a

Rebecca 32:30

Yes.

Becky Sternberg 32:33

It's like, okay, noted. Thank you for that information.

Rebecca 32:37

Right. It's neutral.

Becky Sternberg 32:40

It's neutral. There's no emotional ups and downs from it. There's no judgements about it. It just is.

Rebecca 32:47

Yeah. That's beautiful.

Becky Sternberg 32:51

Yeah.

Rebecca 32:52

That's really beautiful. I feel like that, you know, going from where you told me before, the new sexy to, having this relationship with food and exercise and shifting that so incredibly is, it's just inspiring. Are you proud of yourself?

Becky Sternberg 33:11

I'm very proud of myself and I'm never going back.

Rebecca 33:15

Yes,

Becky Sternberg 33:15

This is it. This is the new me.

Rebecca 33:18

the new me. Oh my God. Becky, what's possible for you now? Like what's next?

Becky Sternberg 33:25

What's next? Now that I see how just taking my care of myself and being confident in myself and trusting myself really has allowed me to be more open. I'm doing more things for my business. I'm saying yes to more things that I was scared about. I am going

Rebecca 33:42

Oh,

Becky Sternberg 33:43

which I never would've ever thought I would do.

Rebecca 33:46

so beautifully. By the way,

Becky Sternberg 33:48

thank you.

Rebecca 33:48

you're natural.

Becky Sternberg 33:51

I'm really pushing

Rebecca 33:53

Maybe you should have your own podcast.

Becky Sternberg 33:56

I was actually thinking, because I was on a podcast last week or two weeks ago, and I was like, I'm gonna do this.

Rebecca 34:03

This is so fun, right?

Becky Sternberg 34:07

I,

Rebecca 34:10

Exactly. I love it. I really think for you, you would also love it because you get to just fully be yourself. Like with posts and reels, it's like you're following trends. You need a hook, you need a, this, that, whatever. And of course you wanna be authentic there too. But like with time, you can flush out an entire concept. You can share stories, you can just be yourself and be real. And I love that aspect. So I could totally see you doing that.

Becky Sternberg 34:41

Stay tuned. It's

Rebecca 34:42

Okay. I'm excited. I see it. Like I see the podcast cover, like everything. Oh, cute. I love that so much. I love that. One thing that I just thought about when you talked about your business was like how this work has impacted possibly growing your business and also like your work with your clients. Because I know that's something that I deeply relate to is that my healing journey and my self love as it grows my capacity to help other women grows. Did you experience that?

Becky Sternberg 35:25

I actually, while we were going through the program, my client said to me, I'm having a really hard time with, loving my body. And I shared with her that I am also on a journey towards loving myself, loving my body, I'm gonna help her get to that point as well. And. I saw when I told her that and I shared that, I saw how she felt so relieved. She wasn't the only one, she wasn't alone. was like, wow. Even people who are coaches, even therapists, even these people who are professionals, they also have to go through their own journeys.

Rebecca 36:06

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 36:07

It wasn't a weakness to her. It was like this piece of, I gave her that piece of strength that she

Rebecca 36:14

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 36:15

you really understand.

Rebecca 36:17

Wow. That is such a strength of yours. I remember when you shared that win, and I was just so impressed with your ability to show up authentically because I think it would be so easy to just be like. Yeah, sure. I can help you with that. Like let's get into it, but not share that you're also on your own journey and just knowing that that was, I mean, you didn't just share, to share. You knew it would be helpful for her and you didn't see it as a weakness in yourself either. Like that's huge. Especially coming from years of hiding it.

Becky Sternberg 36:57

Yeah. I definitely gained that self-trust and confidence in your program and it kind of took away that fear of being judged, that fear of, well now someone's gonna know I'm not perfect.

Rebecca 37:10

Yeah. Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 37:11

it into a strength. Like people should know I'm not perfect. I remember at one point during the program having a conversation with my sister, who is newly married, newly a mom to twins, and she was like, well, you don't get it'cause you've always just been a good mom. And I was like, hang

Rebecca 37:31

Oh,

Becky Sternberg 37:32

Right. Like in my own head I was like, wow. I guess I never really shared with her how difficult certain aspects of being a mom were. And I never felt confident. I always had to present myself as like, perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect friend, perfect everything. And it did not help her that, hiding away from it and not sharing it didn't help her. And I started opening up and she, I like heard her over the phone, take this deep breath of like, wow, now, like she's

Rebecca 38:03

I.

Becky Sternberg 38:04

judging herself anymore, you know, just from

Rebecca 38:07

I'm imagining just this ripple effect, like your exhale and the masterclass and all these exhales that come after like, okay, I can just be myself. Like it can be real. Like it's okay to struggle and like it's, you know, everyone goes through their own stuff and that's actually the beauty of it, that we can help each other.

Becky Sternberg 38:31

One woman at a time.

Rebecca 38:33

Hmm. And you too. It just keeps going I love this so much. were there any moments that were more challenging?'cause obviously this is deep stuff that we were working on. Were there any moments that were challenging and how did you work through that?

Becky Sternberg 38:53

Yeah. I think every time I listened to a new module, a new class from you, I had to listen twice just so that I could take down that barrier that I automatically put up when I listened to it first. Right. Like the new concept. And I was like. Now media doesn't affect me. What are you talking about? It affects you. It doesn't affect me. And then I really had to stop myself and say, wait, listen again. And now this time openly listen openly.

Rebecca 39:26

So good.

Becky Sternberg 39:28

every single time me, yeah. It's hard to put yourself in a spot where you know you're gonna be changing mindset, you know, you're gonna be challenging what you think are your beliefs.

Rebecca 39:42

Right. Because it's not just like a mindset shift, like, oh, I'm gonna be happy today. It's deeply ingrained beliefs that we've been taught our entire lives.

Becky Sternberg 39:52

Yeah, absolutely. And we're living with so many beliefs that we think are ours. We own them as if they're ours. And in reality. Most of what we're taught or most of what we're going through, what we break through our lives with us is not really what we believe and what we truly value. It's what other people have given to us.

Rebecca 40:14

Yeah. I remember I read something, or maybe I heard Brene Brown say something about how. The stories that we tell ourselves were put in our brains without our permission.

Becky Sternberg 40:29

Absolutely.

Rebecca 40:30

And I was like, Ooh, that hit me hard.

Becky Sternberg 40:34

Absolutely. I remember working with a client she kept saying something over and over and over, and she's like, but this is what my mom showed me and this is how I learned how to do it. And I was like, but do you believe in it? She said, no. So give it more. Give it back to your mom. Take your belief and give it back and get your own belief like it's To sender. You know, it's not yours anymore.

Rebecca 40:57

So to come full circle, what's your day like now I know you said that like you get dressed faster, you can go on social media, you trust yourself more, you have a different relationship with food and movement. That's something that kind of has affected the day to day, just the way the day flows. Like when you wake up in the morning and you know, interacting with your kids and your husband. Like, does it flow easier? Is it noticeable?

Becky Sternberg 41:25

Yeah. So you basically summed up my life already. That was a good,

Rebecca 41:29

There you go.

Becky Sternberg 41:30

thank you. I'm gonna add that. Now that I am not my head constantly with this inner critic, now that I have so much more room in my head, in my mind and my mental capacity, I can hold things for my kids a lot more. I can be there, you know, with my husband present and open. Yes. And friends know that I'm available if they need me. I am, just much more present, open understanding. I feel like I'm like a solid, rock for my family. Like a kid comes home and starts crying. They know. They know that they can come to me and cry I'm not gonna tell them to go away. I'm not gonna tell them to get over it. I'm not gonna push them to the side and say, oh, well I am so. Available and open and present because I am not fighting myself anymore because I am giving back to myself. am strong for myself. Don't cry. I'm gonna cry.

Rebecca 42:46

Everything is literally everything. I don't think people even realize how much that's connected to our relationship with our body, but it just takes up so much brain space.

Becky Sternberg 43:01

Constant brain space. It's all the different noises that are in there now, they've like vanished

Rebecca 43:09

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 43:10

just be myself in there.

Rebecca 43:11

Wow. I am so proud. I don't like to say I'm so proud of you for some reason it sounds condescending, but I'm just

Becky Sternberg 43:22

Of me.

Rebecca 43:23

Okay. Okay.

Becky Sternberg 43:23

it.

Rebecca 43:23

Thank you. I'm so freaking proud of you. Like what did you just create over these last three, four months? Three. It's

Becky Sternberg 43:32

I

Rebecca 43:32

amazing.

Becky Sternberg 43:34

And I'm proud of myself. Like I really put myself out there. I had to be so open and vulnerable. Even just with myself,

Rebecca 43:43

Yeah,

Becky Sternberg 43:44

had to.

Rebecca 43:44

like listening to the module again, that takes some I don't know what the word for it is, but it strength or just like honesty. Self honesty.

Becky Sternberg 43:56

Yeah. And it's hard to be honest with yourself, but, every time I was honest with myself and open with myself. I saw myself grow and it created a slightly better life for myself and I just kept pushing through and I'm so, I'm proud of myself.

Rebecca 44:13

Oh, you should be just so, so good. Thank you so much Becky, for coming on. Before we get off, let's say that there was a woman that was in your position last year and really in the place where on the outside she looked confident, but internally she was struggling, and especially with her relationship with food and exercise, what would you tell her?

Becky Sternberg 44:42

I would tell her that she's not alone. There are so many people going through the same things, and it doesn't make her bad,

Rebecca 44:51

Yeah.

Becky Sternberg 44:52

doesn't make her less

Rebecca 44:53

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Such a good coach answer. I love coaches. I love, I love people who are on their healing journey, whether that's a coach or anybody really, just that self-awareness and that empathy that you've brought to the community and me and just everyone, and it is just beautiful. So I'm, I'm just grateful for you and I'm grateful that we met and were able to go on this journey together. One last question before we get off. One last, is there anyone specific that you would recommend to start The New Sexy?

Becky Sternberg 45:41

Yes, absolutely. I would say a woman who understands that she's looking for more in her life, who is looking to open up her life in such a complete way, just through loving yourself through the simple act of loving yourself and listening to yourself.

Rebecca 46:03

yeah, simple and not so simple.

Becky Sternberg 46:08

absolute. That's another podcast.

Rebecca 46:11

See, you have to start a podcast now. Perfect. Yeah, I mean, I remember something you said that really stuck with me in the beginning. You said, my life is good, but if I see an opportunity for it to be better, for me to grow more, I'm gonna take it. And that was really inspiring.

Becky Sternberg 46:33

Yeah.

Rebecca 46:34

That's you.

Becky Sternberg 46:34

Yeah. I mean, always pushing and looking for that way to become more connected, more present, more,

Rebecca 46:42

Right.

Becky Sternberg 46:42

more myself.

Rebecca 46:43

And I feel like this process is kind of about doing less and being

Becky Sternberg 46:49

Yeah, we're not looking to add to our lives. There's just, there's no time. It's not practical.

Rebecca 46:58

Right. It's

Becky Sternberg 46:58

about how can I be and be my genuine self?

Rebecca 47:04

because I feel like I relate to that personal development kind of vibe where you just wanna read more, do more, grow more. And sometimes that could also come from that perfectionist place and then you get it to a point in your journey where I feel like you're at where you're just like, wait. It's not actually about just checking things off or trying to do more, trying to be more perfect. It's just about coming back home to myself and being me.

Becky Sternberg 47:35

Mm-hmm. Yeah. On my wall, I actually have one of my favorite sticky notes on my wall. Says self love is coming home to myself.

Rebecca 47:44

I remember when you wrote that down. I do. I remember. You're like, I'm gonna write that down. Oh my gosh, that's so beautiful. So beautiful. Thank you so much, Becky. Thank you for your time, for your heart, for all the joy and.

Becky Sternberg 48:02

you. Thank you for creating a program that has given me light and happiness and joy and just more goodness in my

Rebecca 48:11

Mm, my absolute pleasure. Bye.

Becky Sternberg 48:18

Bye.